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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:04,629 ♪♪ 2 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,012 ♪ Love ♪ 3 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,434 ♪ exciting and new ♪ 4 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,562 ♪ come aboard ♪ 5 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,775 ♪ we're expecting you ♪ 6 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570 ♪ and love ♪ 7 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,158 ♪ life's sweetest reward ♪ 8 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,828 ♪ let it flow ♪ 9 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,082 ♪ it floats back to you ♪ 10 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,838 ♪ the love boat ♪ 11 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:50,091 ♪ soon will be making another run ♪ 12 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,971 ♪ the love boat ♪ 13 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:59,601 ♪ promises something for everyone ♪ 14 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,978 ♪ set a course for adventure ♪ 15 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:05,273 ♪ your mind on a new romance ♪ 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,736 ♪ and love ♪ 17 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,115 ♪ won't hurt anymore ♪ 18 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,827 ♪ it's an open smile ♪ 19 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,750 ♪ on a friendly shore ♪ 20 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,835 ♪ it's love ♪ 21 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,006 ♪ welcome aboard ♪ 22 00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:34,302 ♪ it's love ♪♪ 23 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,931 ♪♪ 24 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,829 - Hello. - Hello. 25 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,914 - Adieu. 26 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,505 - Here comes a guy I've hated all my life. 27 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,215 - Who is he? - I have no idea, 28 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,341 but he's got those handsome looks 29 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,551 I've hated all my life. 30 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,720 - Excuse me. Howard Samuels, promenade 110. 31 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,223 - Ah, yes, sir. Promenade 110. Up the stairs, to your left. 32 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,600 - Thank you. - Enjoy your cruise, sir. 33 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,439 - Has he boarded yet? 34 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,067 Tall, dark, very broad shouldered. 35 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,402 Very athletic-looking. 36 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,780 Uh, 32 waist, 16 neck, and a 34 sleeve. 37 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,240 Couple of dimples too. 38 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:41,411 Howard Samuels? 39 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,080 - Oh, Howard Samuels. Yeah, he just boarded. 40 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,165 Promenade 110. Up the stairs, to your left. 41 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:50,211 - Good. - Excuse me? 42 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,088 Are you his friend? 43 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:54,340 - Me, no. I've never met the man. 44 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,220 - Well, aunt Chris, now that you've had 45 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,763 a tour of the ship, what do you think? 46 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,224 Pretty neat, huh? I think you're gonna have a good time. 47 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,643 - I suppose so. - Hey, come on, will you stop it? 48 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,895 I'm not gonna let you waste 49 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,771 the rest of your life in mourning. 50 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,815 - I'm not in mourning. 51 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,610 - Okay, well, your attitude is black 52 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,403 even if your dress isn't. 53 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,280 I think since uncle John died, 54 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,825 the last time you had fun was recaulking your bathroom tiles. 55 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,912 - Julie, he was my husband. 56 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:27,624 - I know, but he's gone now and you're still here. 57 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,584 And I think it's time you went out 58 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,669 and started meeting people and doing things. 59 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,630 It's been almost two years. 60 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,090 - Julie, I do not want to meet anyone. 61 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,301 I mean, it could just never be the same, okay? 62 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,803 - Okay. Why don't you just give it a chance 63 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,096 and surprise yourself? 64 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,932 You might have a good time, eh? 65 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,767 You stay here, I'm gonna get your key. 66 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,522 - Oops! - Oh, I'm sorry! 67 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,774 Oh, are you all right? 68 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,610 - I'm fine, it's just... 69 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,780 - Miss? 70 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,865 - I, um... 71 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,328 It's just that... 72 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,330 You look like someone. 73 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,624 - Oh, that's convenient, because I am someone. 74 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,127 Neal rich. 75 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,505 I know I'm clumsy, but I'm not dangerous. 76 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,969 - Uh, Christine frank. 77 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,179 - Very nice to meet you. 78 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,014 Maybe we'll see each other again. 79 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,518 - Well, I think I'm still trying to figure out 80 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,727 what you put in it. (Chuckling) 81 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,729 Excuse me. Aunt Christine, 82 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,399 here's the key to your floating suite. 83 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,650 What's the matter, aunt Chris? 84 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,402 You look like you've just seen a ghost. 85 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,904 - I think I have. 86 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,413 ♪♪ 87 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,380 - Afternoon. - Good afternoon. 88 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,590 - I'm Marshall stubing, your captain's brother. 89 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,719 - Oh, of course! Well, I'm Julie McCoy, 90 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,220 your cruise director. - Yes. 91 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,055 - Oh, this is a great pleasure. 92 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,058 - No, the pleasure is mine, cherie. 93 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,351 - Well, I'm gonna take this hand 94 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,729 and press it in a book. (Both chuckling) 95 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,606 - Captain stubing! Look who's here. 96 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,068 - Marshall? 97 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,403 - Merrill! 98 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,073 Surprised? 99 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,992 - Surprised isn't exactly the word. 100 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,452 What happened, Marshall? 101 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,287 They close the riviera for remodeling? 102 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,122 (Chuckling) 103 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,915 - Let me look at my big brother. 104 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,043 It's been ages. 105 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,753 Merrill, the sea has been good to you. 106 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,255 But you always did look smashing in a uniform. 107 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,257 Even in the boy scouts. 108 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,760 - Excuse us. - Yes, sir. 109 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,765 - Drinks later. 110 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,978 - Marshall, what are you doing on my ship? 111 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,897 - What everybody is doing. 112 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,775 Looking for a little Mexican moonlight and amore. 113 00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,942 - In other words, you're broke 114 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,403 and you're looking to get your hooks into some rich woman. 115 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,280 Marshall, I want you off my ship. 116 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,823 - Merrill, I see you haven't lost 117 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,575 your rye sense of humor. 118 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,410 - Off. Off. 119 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,622 - Sorry, but I have this. 120 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,458 One ticket for a wild and wonderful cruise. 121 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,794 (Woman) - My goodness. 122 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,296 What a real sweet little boat. 123 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,465 I think I might buy me one. 124 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,511 - I think I see my ticket for the rest of my life. 125 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,641 May I take that for you? 126 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,143 - Honey, that's my hand. 127 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,605 - Of course. Who could ever forget a lovely hand like that? 128 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,690 - Have we met before? 129 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,527 - You don't remember, do you? 130 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,613 Was it nice in '74? Monte Carlo in '75? 131 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,156 (Woman) - I don't reckon so. 132 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,492 - Was it Tulsa in '76? 133 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:54,163 - Well, who cares? At least we found each other now. 134 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,999 Is nice anywhere near Oklahoma city? 135 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,628 - Your brother sure works fast. 136 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,630 - Call the guinness book of records. 137 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:06,175 I think he's just broken the four-minute mooch. 138 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,261 (Ship horn blaring) 139 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,057 ♪♪ 140 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,568 (Piano playing) (People chattering) 141 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,326 - Here you go. A pisco punch. 142 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,703 I had to look that one up in the book. 143 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,954 I never made it before. 144 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,372 - Yeah, I know, it's unusual. 145 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:38,207 But it's the only thing I drink during the daytime. 146 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,376 - Ah, well, to each his own. 147 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,044 Yes, ma'am? - Hello. 148 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,380 Pisco punch, please. 149 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,757 - A pisco punch? - Mm-hmm. 150 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,217 Brandy, lemon juice, pineapple. 151 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:52,013 - Please, miss, I'm a professional bartender. 152 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,514 - Okay. 153 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,440 Hi. Do you happen to know "close to you"? 154 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:06,068 (Playing "close to you") That's it. 155 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,362 Thanks a lot, I love it. 156 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,747 - Miss? I hope that you don't think that this is a line, 157 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,957 but you just ordered my favorite drink 158 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,293 and you just asked him to play my favorite song. 159 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,753 - Really, how interesting. 160 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,009 - Green bay packers? 161 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,138 Are you a football fan too? 162 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,598 - Guilty. 163 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,766 - That's incredible. 164 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,393 I don't believe it. 165 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,478 - Next you're gonna be telling me 166 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,605 you like to play chess and go camping 167 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,066 and that you like Mozart, eh? 168 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:49,070 - Yes, I do. This is uncanny. 169 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,113 - Are you serious? 170 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,115 - Miss, we have to talk. 171 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,743 My name is Howard Samuels. 172 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,161 - Holly Christopher. 173 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,288 - Hi, Holly. - Hi. Thank you. 174 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,416 - Holly... 175 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,294 Would you have dinner with me tonight? 176 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,296 Look, I don't want you to think that I'm the kind of guy 177 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,090 who comes onto every pretty girl that he meets. 178 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,133 I'm really not. 179 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,843 I mean, it's true. 180 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,720 - Well... 181 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,681 - You'll see once you get to know me. 182 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,102 - I can hardly wait. 183 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,770 ♪♪ 184 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:34,156 (Mariachi band playing) 185 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,495 - Hello. 186 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,164 - Captain merrill? 187 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:26,375 - Uh, not really. 188 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,254 - Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you look like captain merrill. 189 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,505 Except for you have more... 190 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,887 Oh, I mean, he has more... 191 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,430 Skin. 192 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,905 - Evening, captain! 193 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,115 - Well, brother, I see you've met my daughter, Vicki. 194 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,034 - Well, it's my pleasure. 195 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,577 I didn't know my brother had a little girl. 196 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,204 - Well, now we're even. 197 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,789 I never knew captain merrill had an older brother. 198 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,793 May I have some ice cream? 199 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,961 - Sure, make it a double scoop. 200 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,381 So where's your lady in the white mink coat, 201 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,591 or did she wise up to you already? 202 00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,260 - Oh, she'll be here. I'll introduce you. 203 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,804 Her name is Ruby Gibbons. 204 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:22,264 - No thanks, I want no part of your schemes. 205 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,768 - Who's scheming? - I know how you operate. 206 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,062 First, you tell them you live on the glorious riviera. 207 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,606 - Well, I do, don't I? - But you forget to tell them 208 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:33,109 you live in one room over a Chinese laundry. 209 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,444 - That's because I'm fussy about my shirts. 210 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,947 - And then you drop big names trying to impress them. 211 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,615 - You think I'm a name dropper? 212 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,617 Wait'll you meet Princess grace. 213 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,953 - You're never gonna learn, are you, Marshall? 214 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,372 When're you gonna stop all this... 215 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,125 This deceiving of women? 216 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,418 - When it stops working. 217 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:57,633 Ruby! cherie! 218 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,093 Over here. 219 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,810 - Good evening, Marshall. - Good evening. 220 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,979 - You didn't tell me we were dining with the captain. 221 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,565 - I always go first cabin. 222 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:15,609 In London, I dined with prince Charles. 223 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,695 In Manhattan, I rendezvous with Jackie. 224 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,280 - Oh? - That's the one. 225 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,407 - Oh! 226 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,952 You gentlemen are brothers, aren't you? 227 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:28,789 You know, I thought that you looked a lot alike. 228 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,875 This is an honor. - It's my pleasure. 229 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,126 Oklahoma, right? 230 00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:34,336 - How ever did you know? 231 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,796 - I moonlight reading tea leaves. 232 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,133 (Both chuckling) - He always was the funny one. 233 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,844 - What do you do in Oklahoma, miss Gibbons? 234 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,220 - Well, nothing much. 235 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,972 Not since my husband Horace died, 236 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,348 may he rest in peace. 237 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,892 - I'm so sorry. 238 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,352 - Yes, we buried him in his oil field. 239 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,645 Horace always did like to have 240 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,023 everything put back into the business. 241 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:57,693 - Oil field? - Well, it's just nothing really. 242 00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,321 Three little old oil Wells, per acre. 243 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:05,993 - Well, well, well. This calls for a drink. 244 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,162 - Well, you gentlemen are busy talking. 245 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,664 Shall I get them? Champagne all around? 246 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,000 - None for me, thank you. I'm driving. 247 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,835 (Laughing) 248 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,338 - Oh, he is the funny one. 249 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:28,015 - Merrill, do me a favor. Lend me $50. 250 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,560 I left my wallet in the cabin. It was empty at the time. 251 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,064 Come on, merrill, I'd do it for you. 252 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,735 - Well... wait a minute. 253 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,237 - Come on, merrill, give me the money 254 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,406 and I'll stay out of your hair. 255 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,741 Sorry. 256 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,454 Thanks. 257 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,876 How much do I owe you? 258 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,878 - That'll be $3.75. 259 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,715 - There you go, champ. Keep the change. 260 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,634 - Keep the bottle. 261 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,223 - Aunt Chris, try one of our specialties. 262 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,308 - Okay. - There ya go. 263 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,644 - Julie, it's him. - Who? 264 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,313 - That's the man I met in the lobby. 265 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,817 Oh, hello? 266 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,652 - Oh, we meet again. 267 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,571 I was afraid I'd be too late to see you. 268 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,323 - Oh, Julie, this is Neal rich. 269 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,950 This is my niece, Julie McCoy. 270 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,159 - How do you do? - How do you do? 271 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,453 The only people who love me for being late are my students. 272 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,414 - You're a teacher? 273 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165 - I beg your pardon, I'm a professor. 274 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,960 - Well, please excuse my faux pas. 275 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:41,797 - I think that's a little like calling a dentist "mister." 276 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,465 - Would you mind if we all sat together? 277 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,594 - Well, I... - I think we'd love to, thank you. 278 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,516 - Thank you. - Oh, uh, waiter? 279 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,729 Could we have a bottle of chateau d'yquem, '64. 280 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,523 - Julie, that was John's favorite wine. 281 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,443 - Ooh, 1964. An excellent year, 282 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,653 unless you happened to vote for goldwater. 283 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,530 - I see we both like lobsters. 284 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,782 How do you feel about dancing? 285 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,327 - Oh, I love it. - Oh, good. 286 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,703 I feel lobster and dancing 287 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,163 are two of the necessities of life. 288 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,248 (Chuckling) 289 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,845 - Oh, hi! Would you care 290 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:32,389 to join me for dinner, miss Christopher? 291 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,142 - Oh! Oh, thank you very much. 292 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,686 But i-i, uh... 293 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,023 - He's not here yet. Will I do? 294 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:44,026 - As a matter of fact, in a way, you will. 295 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,195 Doctor, since you are a doctor, 296 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,865 I have something here I'd like to ask a second opinion about. 297 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,909 - At your service. - This company that I work for 298 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,995 has all these computers that house all this information 299 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,580 about millions of men. 300 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,208 Their likes, their dislikes, 301 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:03,712 their IQ, their health, their heritage. 302 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,216 And this figures in separating the... the superior, 303 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:11,387 insurable male versus the inferior, uninsurable one. 304 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:18,185 This one happens to be superior in every category. 305 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,232 - What is his name again? - Howard Samuels. 306 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,443 - Howard Samuels, I hated him on sight 307 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,737 without knowing why, now I know why. 308 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,072 - It's because he's perfect. 309 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,616 Soon to be the perfect father of my child. 310 00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,163 - You mean just because of statistics, 311 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,873 you want to marry him? 312 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,126 - No, no, I did not say anything about marriage. 313 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,963 - Oh, you just wanna... 314 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,425 - You got it. 315 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,720 - Well, what about the good ol' institution of love 316 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,097 and courtship and marriage? 317 00:16:55,180 --> 00:17:00,310 - Well, I... I want a child, I don't want a family. 318 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:04,189 I want to be a mother, and I'm ready to be a mother. 319 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,608 But a wife? No. I'm not ready for that. 320 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,114 - Hi. - Hi! 321 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,950 - Have you seen the buffet? The food looks wonderful. 322 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,785 - Wait'll you see the dessert. 323 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,620 - Yeah! 324 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,587 ♪♪ 325 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,674 (Band playing) (People chattering) 326 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,813 - I can't believe how good you are. 327 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,273 It's like we've been dancing together for years. 328 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,108 - Well, who knows? Maybe we have. 329 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,985 - I mean it. I'm amazed by how well we fit together. 330 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:52,488 - I know what you mean. 331 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,657 - It's unusual for me. I've been a loner all my life. 332 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,535 It's why I never got married. What about you? 333 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,287 - What? - Have you been married? 334 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,664 - Oh, I'm a widow. 335 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,625 - No way you could've stayed single. 336 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,632 - More champagne? - I don't know. 337 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:12,800 I hate the taste of it. 338 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,010 But then again, I love the effect. 339 00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,845 I guess so. - No problem. 340 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,347 I'll get you another one and hold your nose 341 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,640 while you drink it. 342 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,730 Two champagnes please. - Certainly. 343 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,733 - Uh, enjoying the cruise? 344 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,527 - Oh, yeah, I'm having a wonderful time. 345 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,362 And it's mainly because of Holly. 346 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,405 I've never met anybody quite like her. 347 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,826 She is so beautiful, she can have any man she wants. 348 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,869 But instead, she just seems to enjoy being with me 349 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,037 and talking football. 350 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,290 - Well, maybe she just wants a chip off your old block. 351 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:50,045 - Huh? - It's just an old med school expression. 352 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,713 I went to the only medical school 353 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,841 that had a course in carpentry. 354 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,677 - Here you go. - Promenade 110. 355 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,471 Thank you. 356 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,433 - Oh, that poor guy. 357 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,519 - Looks pretty happy to me. 358 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,729 - The least she could do is take him to a movie first. 359 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,775 ♪♪ 360 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,408 - To Christine. - To John. 361 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,578 I mean Neal. Oh, I am so sorry. 362 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,746 It's just that I've met so many new people today. 363 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,833 - It's all right. I understand... Amy. 364 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,918 (Chuckling) 365 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:32,963 It's hard to believe we've only known 366 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,298 each other for a couple of hours. 367 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,758 - Mmm. - Pretty crazy, isn't it? 368 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,429 - Oh, I don't think so. I think it's wonderful. 369 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,600 ♪♪ 370 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,189 - You're right. It is pretty wonderful. 371 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:58,238 - You know what I'd like? - What? 372 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,617 - Hot cocoa. - Hot cocoa? 373 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:05,495 - With marshmallows. I'm sorry, I just think 374 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,706 hot cocoa in the moonlight is very romantic. 375 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,250 - If that's what you want, I'll see if I can round some up. 376 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,085 Don't go away. - I won't. 377 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,842 - Hot cocoa? (Chuckles) 378 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,098 - Uh, excuse me, miss. Have you seen my aunt? 379 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,100 She's easy to recognize, she's the woman who 380 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,977 who under no circumstances thought 381 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,312 she'd have a good time on this cruise. 382 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,481 - Oh, I'm glad I was wrong. - So am I. 383 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,941 Seems like a really terrific guy. 384 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,651 - Oh, he is. Julie, I never thought 385 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,778 I would meet anyone so like John. 386 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:40,238 - But, aunt Chris-- - he looks like John, 387 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,324 he dresses like him, he's even a professor. 388 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,660 Why, it's almost as if John never really died. 389 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,995 - But he's not uncle John. 390 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,040 - Oh, Julie, he's even romantic the way John was. 391 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,917 Oh, it's like a dream come true. 392 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,510 - Windy tonight, huh? 393 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,345 Well, this is me. 394 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,017 Would you like to come in? 395 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,228 - It's kind of late, isn't it? 396 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,854 - Yes, it's very late. But if you insist, 397 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,147 you can come in for a few minutes. 398 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,237 Come on. Come on, sit down. 399 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:25,367 There. 400 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,452 Just, uh, relax. 401 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,873 Take your tie off. Take off anything you like. 402 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,590 Well... 403 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,930 That's better, huh? 404 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,807 (Radio playing) 405 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,815 Howard? 406 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,944 I like you very much. 407 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,033 I think... 408 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,868 You're very nice. 409 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,957 Like that song? - Yeah. 410 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,459 - Me too. 411 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:21,381 Howard, a lot of people don't know this. 412 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:26,636 But sex is very similar to the foxtrot. 413 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:32,392 Watch. One... two... 414 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769 Like a box. 415 00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:37,606 Three... four... see? 416 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,649 - Mm-hmm. - Try it. 417 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,028 One... 418 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,241 Two... 419 00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,163 Three... 420 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,664 Four... 421 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,131 - What are you doing with my picture? 422 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,258 - Uh... 423 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,719 Oh, Howard, sit down. 424 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,811 I suppose I should've just told you about this right away. 425 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:20,440 - Told me what? - About us. 426 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,567 - What about us? I just met you. 427 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,653 - Yes, I know. But I've spent the last three months 428 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,488 studying everything about you. 429 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,323 Including when you'd be on my vacation. 430 00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,033 - Why? What for? 431 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,289 - Howard... 432 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,958 I would like to have your baby. 433 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,753 - You can't have my baby. 434 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,550 - Why not? - I don't have a baby. 435 00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:51,138 - Howard... 436 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,224 I would like you to give me a baby. 437 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,894 - Give? 438 00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,522 (Laughing) I don't believe this. 439 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,649 - Well, what's the big deal anyway? 440 00:24:02,732 --> 00:24:04,359 You don't even have to spend the night if you don't want to. 441 00:24:04,442 --> 00:24:06,528 Just make love to me and forget about it. 442 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,030 - Forget about it? You know, aside from the fact 443 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,365 that you've been using me, you're forgetting 444 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:12,200 one very important thing. 445 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,368 The minute you become the mother, 446 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:15,162 I become the father. 447 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:16,955 - It doesn't matter. - Well, it does to me. 448 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,250 I'm not just some sex object. 449 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:24,004 (Door slams) 450 00:24:24,087 --> 00:24:26,840 You know, I am very disappointed in you. 451 00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:28,508 All that talk about the green bay packers 452 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:29,926 was just a come on. 453 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,431 - Well, yeah. 454 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,308 ♪♪ 455 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,198 - Good night, captain merrill. 456 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,824 - Oh, good night, Vicki. Sweet dreams. 457 00:24:55,493 --> 00:24:56,786 - Captain merrill? - Mm? 458 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,788 - Don't you like uncle Marshall? 459 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,916 - Why do you ask me that? 460 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,585 I never told you that I don't like my brother. 461 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,462 - Well, you didn't exactly say that 462 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:07,923 but you looked at him, you know, 463 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,591 like you don't approve of him. 464 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:13,428 - Vicki, it's not that I disapprove of my brother. 465 00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:16,431 It's just that, well, he's never worked for a living. 466 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,100 - Oh... oh, I see! 467 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,769 It's not that you don't approve of him, 468 00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:22,145 you're jealous of him. 469 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:23,939 (Marshall) - Hey, everybody, this way! 470 00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:26,566 Last one in buys the drinks! 471 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,569 (People hooting) 472 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:33,615 - Vicki... - I know, "go to bed." Bye. 473 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:40,872 - Oh, I love this ship. They got bars all over. 474 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,417 - What's going on here? (All laughing) 475 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:47,003 - Oh, just go on. Do what you're doing, merrill. 476 00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:50,632 You won't bother us. - Bother you? 477 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,092 Who ordered all this champagne? 478 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:54,094 - Well, you did. 479 00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:58,932 The order was signed "m. Stubing." 480 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:02,060 - Really? Well, I'm afraid you all have to leave. 481 00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:07,190 - Oh, come on now. A toast, to my brother. 482 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,401 The finest captain on this ship. 483 00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:12,112 (Laughing) 484 00:26:12,195 --> 00:26:14,281 - Bottom's up. Oops, maybe I better not 485 00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:17,784 say that while we're still at sea. 486 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:20,287 - Now, I must insist. 487 00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:24,332 - Come on, everybody. We're gonna sing now 488 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,459 just like we practiced. Here you go, Ruby. 489 00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,504 (Ship horn blaring) 490 00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:34,259 (Vocalizing with ship horn) 491 00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,180 Everybody! 492 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,349 (All) - ♪ row, row, row your boat ♪ 493 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,310 ♪ gently down the stream ♪ 494 00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:44,936 - Ah! - ♪ merrily, merrily ♪ 495 00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:46,646 ♪ merrily, merrily, life is but a dream ♪ 496 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,189 - Starboard side only! 497 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,692 (Singing continues) (Chattering) 498 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,613 Ruby, you're the greatest! 499 00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:56,865 ♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪ 500 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:58,867 ♪ gently down the stream ♪ 501 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:00,535 ♪ merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪ 502 00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:01,995 ♪ life is but a dream ♪♪ 503 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:09,878 ♪♪ 504 00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:16,426 - Ah, beautiful morning. 505 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:18,720 - It was a beautiful night. - Yeah. 506 00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:20,555 Well, What'll we do today? 507 00:27:20,638 --> 00:27:21,931 How about some shuffleboard? 508 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:24,184 - Hey, how about a game of gin? 509 00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,394 - Oh, I'm not much at playing cards. 510 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,729 How about some backgammon? 511 00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,773 - Oh, I bet you're a great card player. 512 00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,733 - What makes you think so? 513 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:33,693 - A woman's intuition. 514 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,445 I knew someone a lot like you 515 00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:37,072 who was a tournament champion. 516 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:38,782 We used to play cards for days at a time. 517 00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:40,742 - I hate to disappoint you, but I can barely 518 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,078 tell the difference between a spade and a club. 519 00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:45,747 - Oh, I'll teach you. Give it a try, all right? 520 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,208 - All right. All the money you hustle out of me 521 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,959 is gonna deprive my poor old grandmother 522 00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:51,836 of her gallbladder operation. 523 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,340 - Hi. 524 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,551 - Hi. 525 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,221 - Listen, I'm really sorry for what happened last night. 526 00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:02,597 - Okay. 527 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,100 - I mean, I'm really sorry. 528 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,102 - Okay. I mean, you can't help it 529 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,395 if you're an animal. 530 00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:13,942 - Then you forgive me? 531 00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:16,569 - Yeah, sure. I forgive you. 532 00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,571 - Oh, what a relief. 533 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,949 I am so glad you're not mad at me anymore, 534 00:28:21,032 --> 00:28:23,868 because I really want you to be the father of my baby. 535 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:26,454 - Will you stop that? 536 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:29,124 If you don't stop, I won't talk to you again. 537 00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:30,667 Not even about the green bay packers. 538 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,794 ♪♪ 539 00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:47,934 - Marshall... 540 00:28:48,017 --> 00:28:49,811 I don't think anything could ever be 541 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,481 more beautiful than last night. 542 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,942 - Wait'll tonight. 543 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:05,785 (Clears throat) - Forgive me. 544 00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:08,121 But I thought saw smoke coming from this direction. 545 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:14,419 - Um... my, I have to run. 546 00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:17,714 I have a manicure. I'll see y'all later. 547 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:19,174 - Bye, honey. 548 00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:23,178 - My compliments. 549 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,679 You're working fast, even for you. 550 00:29:24,762 --> 00:29:27,807 - Why? Because I gave her an engagement ring? 551 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,517 - You bought an engagement ring? 552 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,394 - You should know that. I put it on your bill. 553 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,021 - What?! 554 00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:35,732 (Scoffs) - Relax, merrill. 555 00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:40,487 I think maybe I love her. 556 00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:44,032 - Oh, well, this love you feel wouldn't have anything to do 557 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,284 with three little ol' oil Wells, would it? 558 00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:48,870 - Per acre. 559 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,539 No, it's got nothing to do with that. 560 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:55,001 - I can't believe you. What happens when she finds out 561 00:29:55,084 --> 00:29:56,211 you're not what you claim to be? 562 00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:59,255 - Oh, merrill, you've been a worrywart since we were kids. 563 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,927 - I don't suppose you want advice from your older brother. 564 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,722 But you can't build a happy marriage 565 00:30:07,805 --> 00:30:09,098 on a foundation of lies. 566 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,855 - You're absolutely right. - I am? 567 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,774 - Yes. I don't want your advice. 568 00:30:27,116 --> 00:30:30,036 - Oh! Oh, boy! I told you I wasn't very good at cards. 569 00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:33,623 - Well, if you could just try. Come on. 570 00:30:33,706 --> 00:30:35,375 - Why do you make such a big thing of it? 571 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:37,126 Why is it so important that I play cards? 572 00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:40,755 - It's not so important, it's just... 573 00:30:40,838 --> 00:30:43,299 It's just that I thought it might be nice 574 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:45,593 if we could play cards together, that's all. 575 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:47,595 - Well, there are other things we could do together. 576 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,056 Aren't there? 577 00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:51,766 Cards aren't such a big deal, 578 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:53,893 if you'll pardon the expression. 579 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:59,274 - Okay, come on, try again. 580 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,526 ♪♪ 581 00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:10,660 (Knocking on door) 582 00:31:10,743 --> 00:31:12,579 - Come in, it's open. 583 00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:14,122 - I hope I'm not interrupting. 584 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,125 - Oh, no, it's just captain stuff. 585 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:19,002 Getting our bearings. We're either 586 00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:20,628 off the coast of puerto vallarta 587 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,338 or somewhere near Topeka, Kansas. 588 00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,299 (Laughing) 589 00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,509 - I, uh, want to talk to you about your brother. 590 00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:31,264 He just gave me this ring. 591 00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:37,312 - Yes, he said he was going to do that. 592 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:40,189 - Well, I wanna buy Marshall a little present. 593 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:43,484 Nothing fancy. A gold watch or a car. 594 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:45,820 But I know so little about him, 595 00:31:45,903 --> 00:31:47,322 and I ought to know more about the man 596 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:49,115 I'm gonna spend my life with. 597 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:53,828 - Well, in that case... 598 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:55,288 Maybe you'd better sit down. 599 00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:01,669 Miss Gibbons-- 600 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:06,174 - Ruby. - Ruby... 601 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:09,218 - Look, I still think you should find a guy and fall in love. 602 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,932 Buy a house in the country, buy a station wagon, 603 00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:17,352 and then have his baby. 604 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,687 - You don't seem to understand something, doctor. 605 00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:22,649 I am not against these things, I like this. 606 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,693 But statistics prove, and you know this, 607 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,488 that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. 608 00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:29,864 One out of every two. 609 00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:31,532 - I know all about those statistics. 610 00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:33,326 In the last divorce survey, I was the only one 611 00:32:33,409 --> 00:32:36,204 mentioned by name. (Laughing) 612 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:39,248 But I still think you're making a very serious mistake. 613 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,921 - I think I know what I'm doing, doctor. 614 00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:47,256 But I'll tell you one thing. 615 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:49,300 I sure appreciate your concern. 616 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,225 - May I speak to you? - Me? 617 00:32:57,308 --> 00:33:00,144 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure. 618 00:33:04,982 --> 00:33:06,943 - I have had it. - You have? 619 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:09,195 - And not only that, I have something to say to you. 620 00:33:09,278 --> 00:33:10,363 Something I should've said last night 621 00:33:10,446 --> 00:33:13,116 and you better listen. - What? 622 00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:16,953 - Holly, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. 623 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,746 You're kind and you're beautiful 624 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,415 and you're fun to be with. 625 00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:22,792 And not only that, you're a good person. 626 00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:26,129 - Did a computer somewhere say all that about me? 627 00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:29,757 - But you're also selfish and you're unrealistic. 628 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:31,592 After all the time that you spent choosing me 629 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:32,927 and then finding me, you can just go 630 00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:34,637 choose somebody else? 631 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:38,725 - I mean, I'm sure the doc is a nice guy. 632 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:39,934 But let's face it, you don't know 633 00:33:40,017 --> 00:33:42,103 anything about him. 634 00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,731 So if you're gonna make a mistake, 635 00:33:44,814 --> 00:33:47,233 you might as well make it with me. 636 00:33:47,316 --> 00:33:48,943 At least that way, it'll be easy to rectify 637 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:51,112 because I like you. 638 00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:53,865 - What're you trying to say? 639 00:33:53,948 --> 00:33:55,950 - One, two, three, four. 640 00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,455 - You are kidding. 641 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:03,082 One, two, three, four? 642 00:34:03,166 --> 00:34:05,626 - My cabin. 8:30. 643 00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,129 - Okay, yeah! 644 00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:15,845 - Hey. - Hi. 645 00:34:15,928 --> 00:34:17,096 - Hey, what're you buying in there? 646 00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:18,306 You have everything. 647 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,099 - I didn't buy anything for myself. 648 00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,309 It's a present for you. 649 00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:23,311 - For me? - Mm-hmm. 650 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,479 - Can I open it now or do I have to wait for Christmas? 651 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,147 - No, go ahead, open it. 652 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:30,318 - Oh, that's great. 653 00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:32,320 Almost makes me wish I smoked. 654 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,155 - I know the best pipe tobacco to go in it too. 655 00:34:34,238 --> 00:34:35,990 You're really gonna love it. 656 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,784 - No, you didn't hear me. I don't smoke. 657 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:39,994 - I've been thinking how distinguished you'd look 658 00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:42,622 standing there lecturing in front of your class with a pipe. 659 00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:44,207 - But... - Look, I have to get my hair done. 660 00:34:44,290 --> 00:34:46,501 I'll see you at dinner, okay? 661 00:34:57,136 --> 00:34:59,180 - Oh, a gift from your aunt. 662 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:01,766 - Oh, it's very... Professor-ish. 663 00:35:01,849 --> 00:35:03,893 - Yeah, maybe I can use it for a prop. 664 00:35:03,976 --> 00:35:06,521 - You know, it's just like the one my uncle John smoked. 665 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,773 ♪♪ 666 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,366 ♪♪ 667 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:22,745 (Piano playing) (People chattering) 668 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:38,553 - Ruby, where've you been? - I am sorry. 669 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:48,062 Marshall, I had a long talk with your brother. 670 00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:49,564 - Oh. Great guy, isn't he? 671 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,108 - Mm-hmm. - What'd you talk about? 672 00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:54,569 - You. 673 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,362 - I'll kill him. Don't believe a word he said. 674 00:35:56,445 --> 00:35:58,990 (Ruby chuckling) What'd he say? 675 00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:02,201 - He said that you were a tad irresponsible 676 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:06,789 and you tend to stretch the truth a mite. 677 00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:10,710 - Did he say anything else? - Plenty. 678 00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,253 - I guess he told you that I'm not really 679 00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:13,880 all those things I said I was. 680 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,965 - Well, not exactl-- - and that I don't really own 681 00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,592 a villa in the south of France. 682 00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,218 - No, he didn-- - and then I'm sure he told you 683 00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,845 I'm so broke, I don't know where my next tin 684 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,430 of caviar is coming from. 685 00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:24,849 - No, he didn't say that either. 686 00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:29,604 - What did he say? 687 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:32,940 - He said he really admires you. 688 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,318 - That you are one of the few people in this world 689 00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,779 that knows how to love life. 690 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:41,073 - Merrill said that about me? 691 00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:43,701 - And that you're warm and giving 692 00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:46,454 and that you'll make me a wonderful husband. 693 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:57,548 - I told you not to believe a word he said. 694 00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:04,597 It was nice, Ruby. Really nice. 695 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,808 - Marshall, wait. Why are you leaving? 696 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:12,313 - Because I love you. 697 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,023 You deserve a lot better than me. 698 00:37:14,106 --> 00:37:16,567 ♪♪ 699 00:37:26,535 --> 00:37:27,662 - Aunt Chris, I just don't think 700 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,664 you ought to be taking anything for granted. 701 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,666 - I'm not, but Neal said he had something 702 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:32,875 important to tell me and, well, 703 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:35,962 I don't think it's a secret how we feel about each other. 704 00:37:36,045 --> 00:37:37,797 (Knocking on door) 705 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:38,839 Oh, that must be Neal. Would you mind? 706 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,383 - Sure. 707 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,097 Oh, hi. Come on in. 708 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:48,933 I'll just... See you two later. 709 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,189 - You look lovely. - Thank you. 710 00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:57,858 I, uh, ordered a bottle of our favorite wine. 711 00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:01,362 It should be here soon. Now, um, 712 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:04,573 what is all this you can't tell me at dinner? 713 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:05,866 - Well, for one thing, maybe we shouldn't 714 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:09,495 have dinner together tonight. 715 00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:11,330 Christine, this is very hard to say 716 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,165 but whatever it is that's happened between us 717 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,293 has gone too far, too fast. 718 00:38:16,377 --> 00:38:17,253 I think we have to slow it down. 719 00:38:17,336 --> 00:38:19,380 - Slow it down? 720 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:24,385 I don't know what you mean. 721 00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:26,554 If you've come to say good-bye, why don't you just say it? 722 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,889 - Chris-- - I understand. 723 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,101 The cruise is almost over, and so is the shipboard romance. 724 00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:35,187 You're a real gentleman to let me know. 725 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:36,814 - Christine, what I feel for you, 726 00:38:36,897 --> 00:38:39,900 I never felt about anyone before. 727 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,235 I don't think you're ready for us yet. 728 00:38:41,318 --> 00:38:42,737 - How can you say that? 729 00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,864 You know I love you very much. 730 00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:46,574 I admit that when I came on board, 731 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:48,701 falling in love was the furthest thing from my mind. 732 00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:50,703 But you reminded me so much of my late husband John 733 00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,663 that I fell... 734 00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:58,419 - I thought that's what it was. 735 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,130 I'm not John. Till you accept that, 736 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:04,925 you won't be ready for me or anyone else, for that matter. 737 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:07,595 - Is that it? Have you had your say? 738 00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:11,807 - Yes. Except that I care for you. 739 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:15,311 Very much. I want you to know that. 740 00:39:15,394 --> 00:39:18,105 - I'll try to keep that in mind. 741 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,523 - Christine... 742 00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:21,609 - Would you please go? 743 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:38,626 ♪♪ 744 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:49,386 (Knocking on door) 745 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:53,933 - I've been counting the minut-- 746 00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:56,268 - well, I got here as soon as I could. 747 00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:59,939 - Right here. - All right, certainly. 748 00:40:00,022 --> 00:40:03,150 Now, um, would you like me to open this for you now? 749 00:40:03,234 --> 00:40:05,152 - No, no. - Is this all right? Is this fine? 750 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,029 - Just great, thank you. - Oh, wonderful. 751 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,866 Ah, thank you. 752 00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:24,338 - Oh, you're here. 753 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:28,843 - Yeah, well, I didn't want to be late for our, you know... 754 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:31,887 - Yeah, well, that's fine. I like punctuality. 755 00:40:31,971 --> 00:40:35,891 - Good. Well, like you said, I'm here. 756 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:38,310 - Yeah, well, shall we-- 757 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,396 - what? Yes? 758 00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:46,527 - Dance? 759 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:47,862 - Sure, why not? 760 00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:49,697 Sure. 761 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:55,035 - I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again. 762 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,370 - But it isn't your fault. 763 00:40:56,453 --> 00:40:58,372 You had to try to get through to her somehow. 764 00:40:58,455 --> 00:40:59,790 - I don't want to lose her in the process. 765 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,667 - I know. - Neal... 766 00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,711 - Oh, excuse me. I'd better leave 767 00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:04,879 before I'm late for whatever it is 768 00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:06,881 I'd be late for if I didn't leave. 769 00:41:06,964 --> 00:41:08,591 Excuse me. Bye, aunt Chris. 770 00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:15,014 - Can I get you folks something to drink? 771 00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,223 - How about some chateau d'yquem? 772 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:19,560 - Well... - Cup of hot chocolate? 773 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:20,895 - If you don't mind, I think we ought 774 00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:22,688 to try something different. 775 00:41:22,771 --> 00:41:24,523 I mean, those others are good, 776 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:27,568 but maybe it's time we found a new favorite. 777 00:41:27,651 --> 00:41:29,278 Our favorite. 778 00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:35,117 (Clears throat) 779 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:39,288 - We'll leave it to you, Isaac. 780 00:41:39,371 --> 00:41:43,542 But remember, you're starting a tradition. 781 00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:46,295 - Mmm, a big responsibility like that may take some time. 782 00:41:46,378 --> 00:41:48,380 So you're gonna have to find a way 783 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:49,840 to keep yourselves occupied. 784 00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:06,315 - No, stop! - Stop? Why? 785 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:11,570 - Because, can't you see? I like you too much. 786 00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,781 - What's wrong with that? 787 00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:16,116 - It ruins everything, that's what. 788 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,453 It's defeating the whole purpose of what I'm trying to do. 789 00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:21,163 I mean, it's just not another situation. 790 00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,792 And you're not a sex object anymore. 791 00:42:24,875 --> 00:42:27,086 - Well, that's not so bad. 792 00:42:27,169 --> 00:42:29,838 - Statistically, it's horrible, Howard. 793 00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:31,298 I mean, there's just no future 794 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,801 in anybody liking anybody anymore 795 00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:36,345 and believe me, I know what I'm talking about, Howard. 796 00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:40,307 I don't know, it just seems like today 797 00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,893 a good divorce is better than a good marriage. 798 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:44,812 It lasts longer. 799 00:42:47,022 --> 00:42:49,942 - Well, you could be right, I don't know. 800 00:42:50,025 --> 00:42:52,152 But what I do know, is that I like you. 801 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,533 A lot. And I kind of have a feeling 802 00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:58,826 that we can change those statistics. 803 00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:02,204 But you're gonna have to give me something 804 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,164 that's very important to you. 805 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,166 - What? 806 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:09,003 - A little time. 807 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:11,630 - How much time? 808 00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:14,633 - Time to play chess, go camping, 809 00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:16,552 maybe see a football game. 810 00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:19,680 What do you say, Holly? 811 00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:21,348 Can we start over again? 812 00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,446 Hi. My name is Howard Samuels. 813 00:43:39,491 --> 00:43:41,702 - Hi. 814 00:43:41,785 --> 00:43:43,537 My name is Holly Christopher. 815 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,500 - Hi, Holly. 816 00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:53,255 Hey, can I walk you home? 817 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,549 - Yes, you handsome devil. 818 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:14,234 - Evening, brother. - Evening, brother. 819 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:18,739 - Where's Ruby? - Before Ruby threw me over, 820 00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:22,201 I thought I'd do her a favor and throw myself over. 821 00:44:22,284 --> 00:44:25,496 Oh, that was very nice, what you told her about me. 822 00:44:25,579 --> 00:44:29,583 That I was warm and giving. - Well, you are. 823 00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:32,461 Unfortunately, what you give is usually mine. 824 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,051 Listen, Marshall, everything I told her was true. 825 00:44:39,134 --> 00:44:42,805 - Well, I just told her some other true things about me. 826 00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:45,099 I guess you're bringing out the boy scout in me, merrill. 827 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:47,476 - I'm glad you decided to come clean. 828 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:51,814 - So am I, even though it does cramp my style. 829 00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:53,357 (Ruby) - Marshall? 830 00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:57,236 There you are. I have been looking 831 00:44:57,319 --> 00:44:59,071 all over this boat for you. 832 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:04,493 Evening, captain. - Ruby. 833 00:45:04,576 --> 00:45:07,579 Well, if you need anyone to talk to, 834 00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:10,833 I'll be in my cabin polishing my merit badges. 835 00:45:16,046 --> 00:45:18,799 - Marshall, I was worried about you. 836 00:45:18,882 --> 00:45:21,260 - About me? 837 00:45:21,343 --> 00:45:24,138 Hey, I'm the guy who really loves life. 838 00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:26,140 Remember? 839 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:27,975 - Marshall? 840 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:37,151 I love you. 841 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,945 - You mean after the way I lead you on, 842 00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:42,656 you still want me? 843 00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:45,868 - You don't have to say all that stuff to impress me. 844 00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:48,537 I don't care about what you don't have. 845 00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:51,331 It's what you got that matters. 846 00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:54,209 And you got something I really need. 847 00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,670 - I do? 848 00:45:56,753 --> 00:45:59,923 - Yep. You love me. 849 00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:03,469 - I really do. 850 00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,347 - Honey, I may not know much about you 851 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:10,309 but I know what I like. 852 00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:12,352 - Oh, Ruby. 853 00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:18,817 - And I especially like that. 854 00:46:27,284 --> 00:46:29,495 ♪♪ 855 00:46:37,294 --> 00:46:39,213 - Doc! (Squeals) 856 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:41,673 - Wh-what was that for? - For your opinion. 857 00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:45,886 - What was that for? - Well, Holly told me 858 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,054 some of the things that you said 859 00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:48,388 and I just wanted to thank you. 860 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,933 - Yeah, thanks again. - Hey, wait a minute. 861 00:46:51,016 --> 00:46:52,351 Doesn't anybody want to thank me? 862 00:46:52,434 --> 00:46:53,560 - Sure, gopher, I'll thank you. 863 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:55,187 - Sure, anytime. 864 00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,109 (Julie) - Bye-bye. 865 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,113 Aunt Chris, is that you? 866 00:47:05,197 --> 00:47:06,865 - Yep, I thought I would try 867 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:08,075 something different for a change. 868 00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:09,535 - I love the hat. 869 00:47:11,411 --> 00:47:12,871 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. 870 00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:14,248 Except for those glasses and that hat, 871 00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:15,082 you're the spitting image of a girl 872 00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:16,625 I went steady with in high school. 873 00:47:16,708 --> 00:47:18,752 - Really? 874 00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:23,090 - Why are you doing that? - From now on, 875 00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:24,925 when we look at each other, 876 00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:27,594 we won't be seeing anyone who isn't there, okay? 877 00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,304 - Deal. 878 00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:30,472 - Bye-bye. - Good-bye, sweetheart. 879 00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,892 - That'll be fine, Jacqueline. 880 00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:36,937 - Merrill! 881 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,647 It's been great seeing you again, 882 00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,732 and meeting your lovely daughter. 883 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,111 - Well, Marshall, this time I can honestly say 884 00:47:44,194 --> 00:47:46,405 it was great seeing you. 885 00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:48,031 And your lovely Ruby. 886 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,493 - Thank you, captain. 887 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:52,869 - You're so pretty. 888 00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:54,288 I hope I look like you when I grow up. 889 00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:57,416 - You could do worse, Vicki. 890 00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:01,670 And when I grow up, I hope I'm more like your father. 891 00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:10,846 ♪♪ 892 00:48:14,850 --> 00:48:17,269 ♪♪ 64147

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