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Love,
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exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:22,772
Come aboard,
4
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:27,277
we're expecting you.
5
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,905
Love,
6
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:35,076
life's sweetest reward.
7
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Let it flow,
8
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it floats back to you.
9
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,504
Love Boat
10
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:51,593
soon will be making another run.
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00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,596
The Love Boat
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promises something for everyone.
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Set a course for adventure,
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00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,146
Your mind on a new romance.
15
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:11,279
And Love,
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won't hurt anymore,
17
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It's an open smile,
18
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on a friendly shore.
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Yes, love
20
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Welcome aboard,
21
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it's love.
22
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,429
What's all this stuff?
23
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,889
Well, maybe Sammy Davis is
coming
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on board, and he sent his
jewelry on ahead.
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All that stuff belongs to
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the new chef.
27
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,438
Well, what happened to the
regular chef?
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He's in the hospital.
29
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You think it was something he
ate?
30
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,402
No, he's got appendicitis.
31
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,444
Oh.
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00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,404
Gee, I hope everything comes out
33
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all right.
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Borga!
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Borga.
36
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Borga...Borga.
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Chef Borga!
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Oh, Chef Borga; well,
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welcome aboard!
40
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I'm your Cruise Director, Miss
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McCoy.
42
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:04,434
Miss McCoy.
43
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,144
No wonder you're not married.
44
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,437
I beg your pardon?
45
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,105
Too skinny.
46
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,107
Men want women with something to
47
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hold onto.
48
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,193
But, don't worry,
49
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,321
a little fettuccini,
50
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:16,988
a little ravioli,
51
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a little poke at the linguini.
52
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We'll have ten pounds on you
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by Mazatlan.
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Fifteen by Puerto Vallarta.
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By Acapulco you could be the
anchor.
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Well, I'm sure, chef,
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that you'll just have a very
58
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pleasant cruise here.
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00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,795
We have a beautiful ship, and a
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00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:33,922
very cooperative crew.
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00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,758
And a jackass for a Captain.
62
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What did you say?
63
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:39,302
He said we have a jackass...
64
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,929
I heard what he said.
65
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:41,971
Don't tell me I'm stuck with you
66
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for an entire cruise!
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You're stuck?!
68
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,516
Hah!
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00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,518
This peasant put ketchup on my
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bouillabaisse!
71
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,107
It didn't help.
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00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,653
You have the taste buds of a
goat.
73
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,947
Before we sail, run out
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00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,990
and get me a TV dinner...
75
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,076
Make that plural, TV dinners!
76
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:14,545
[YELLS SOMETHING IN ITALIAN].
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What did he say?
78
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,341
Well, I only speak a little
Italian,
79
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,093
but I think he said; 'Have a
nice day.'
80
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,437
Hi, welcome aboard...
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00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,855
Hello.
82
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,857
Well, look who's here!
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If it isn't Mr.Travel himself.
84
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,444
Hello, Jeff, how are you?
85
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,529
Hiya, gorgeous.
86
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,530
Oh, thank you.
87
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,197
What's this?
88
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,532
Another free travelling junket?
89
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826
Just in the line of duty, Julie.
90
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,035
Boy, I envy you guys.
91
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,372
Free cruises all the time...
92
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,874
I envy me, too.
93
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,251
It's just a job, Gopher.
94
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:53,918
I'm putting together another
95
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,086
holiday package for one of the
96
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,212
airlines.
97
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,171
Believe me, the thrill wore off
98
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,756
a long time ago.
99
00:04:58,840 --> 00:04:59,924
Well, see you guys.
100
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,844
Bye...
101
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,053
Gee, what's with him?
102
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,763
He used to be such a live wire.
103
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:06,556
I don't know.
104
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,975
I heard he broke up with his
wife.
105
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,768
Hmmmm.
106
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,395
What do you mean, Hmmmm?
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00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,856
Just hmmmm.
108
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:15,398
Well, was it a 'gee,
109
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,108
that's too bad' hmmmm,
110
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,568
or a 'maybe there's hope for me'
111
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,278
hmmmm, hmmm?
112
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,696
Gopher, get lost.
113
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:22,739
Get lost?
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00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:27,618
Hmmmm.
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00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,078
Hmmmm.
116
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,913
I wouldn't miss your column,
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neither would my sister.
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00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,416
That's right.
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00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,250
First thing we turn to in the
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morning newspaper, is 'Dear
Beverly,'
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Even before the obituaries.
122
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,591
Oh, that's very nice,
123
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:42,717
thank you.
124
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,385
And, your afternoon TV show
125
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,262
is wonderful.
126
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,597
Thank you.
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00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,389
Thank you very much.
128
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,391
You know, you're even more
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00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,768
beautiful in person.
130
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,603
That's very kind of you.
131
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,146
Nice to meet you, very nice to
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meet you.
133
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,481
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies,
134
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:57,940
but I really must get
Mrs.Blanchard
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00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:58,775
checked into her cabin.
136
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,611
But we have a terrible family
problem.
137
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,821
We have an uncle who refuses to
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00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,448
bathe.
139
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,532
Oh.
140
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,410
Is he with you?
141
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,453
No.
142
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,247
Good.
143
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,290
Ladies, Mrs.Blanchard will be
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glad to answer all your
questions
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00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,087
in her lecture on Sunday.
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00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,254
There's a new one, ring
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00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,964
around the family.
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00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:22,965
Purser...
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00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,425
Sir, I'm sorry, Mrs. Blanchard
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00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:24,884
has been waiting for
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00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:25,968
her cabin number.
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00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,637
I'm Mr.Blanchard.
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00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,971
Oh.
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00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:29,972
Oh, gosh, I didn't know there
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00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:30,932
was a Mr.Blanchard.
156
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:32,308
You're not alone.
157
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,976
Come on, darling...
158
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:34,519
Oh, well, let, now,
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00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,978
let's see...okay, cabin
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00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,980
three-forty-two, Promenade Deck.
161
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,148
Oh, thank you very much.
162
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,484
Thank you. You bet.
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00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,194
Listen, if you need any advice,
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00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,488
I mean, if you have any
problems,
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00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,490
have a wonderful cruise.
166
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:55,998
Can I help you?
167
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,125
I'm Adam Bricker, the ship's
168
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:57,708
doctor.
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00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,835
Oh, thanks, but I'm fine,
170
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,169
we're both fine.
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00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,170
All we need is a place to lay
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00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,213
our heads.
173
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,965
Well, I, I wasn't speaking
medically.
174
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,967
But, if you'll give me your
name,
175
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,009
I'll give you your cabin number.
176
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,345
Oh, Gail Smith.
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00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,014
Uh, Smith...Gail Smith,
178
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,516
that'll be P-Two-oh-Six, right
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00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:14,642
up those stairs.
180
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:15,810
I hope you and Mr.Smith
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00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,186
have a pleasant trip.
182
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,020
Thanks, but there is no
183
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,189
Mr. Smith.
184
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,524
Well, if you get right down to
it
185
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,150
there are probably thousands
186
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,192
of Mr.Smiths
187
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:23,693
but there isn't one
188
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,069
traveling with me.
189
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,404
Then I think all those Mr.Smiths
190
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,531
are making a big mistake.
191
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,701
Not in the case of my Mr.Smith
192
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,702
I'm afraid it was me who made
193
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,037
the mistake.
194
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,577
Darling, it's going to be fun.
195
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,120
We'll have a lovely vacation.
196
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,789
Yeah, sure.
197
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:19,749
Oh, now, come on.
198
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,751
Don't be so grouchy.
199
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,753
Look at this lovely suite, and
200
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:24,879
this beautiful ship.
201
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,422
Come on, let's enjoy it.
202
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:27,924
I'd enjoy it a lot more if
203
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:28,799
I was paying for it.
204
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,426
I don't enjoy...freeloading on
205
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,094
my wife's name.
206
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,888
Now, isn't this silly?
207
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:34,764
Now, why shouldn't we take this
208
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,098
free cruise?
209
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,308
All I have to do is give a
210
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,434
little lecture.
211
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,436
Because I can afford to pay
212
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,479
for a vacation, take you
213
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,022
someplace where we can be alone,
214
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,649
without all these people around,
215
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:45,066
and you wouldn't have to do
216
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,150
work, either.
217
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,610
Oh, darling, it isn't work
218
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,945
I love it.
219
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:55,326
And, I love you.
220
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:55,785
Well, if you love your
221
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,620
work that much...
222
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,456
'Dear Beverly, I have a big
223
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,583
problem I think you can solve.
224
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:08,297
I would like to make MAD...mad,
225
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,966
passionate love to my wife.
226
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,300
Signed: Panting on the
227
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,426
Princess.'
228
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,346
Oh, 'Dear Panting: I'd love to
give
229
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:18,140
your problem my personal
attention
230
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,475
but it's very difficult
231
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,518
to make love
232
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,145
while you are typing.'
233
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,188
What typing?
234
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,232
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
235
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,483
I'd love you to make passionate
236
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,652
love to me, but I still have to
237
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,029
finish that column.
238
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,155
Oh, boy.
239
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,198
Oh.
240
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,159
Oh, that's great.
241
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,953
Darling, it won't take long.
242
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:39,996
I promise.
243
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,706
And, don't make it more
244
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,833
difficult for me by looking so
sexy.
245
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:44,834
Oh, ho, ho.
246
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,501
I'll tell you what.
247
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:46,627
Why don't you go up on deck, and
248
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,671
I'll be there in a moment.
249
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,339
Oh, please, darling, don't make
250
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,342
me feel guilty.
251
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,053
Well, it's either a shower
252
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,848
or walk.
253
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,891
I'll walk.
254
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,984
Oh, dear...
255
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,236
"Dear Beverly: My son is a two
256
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,988
hundred fifty pound fullback on
257
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,656
his college football team, but
258
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,992
the other day when I came home,
259
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,328
I found him wearing one of my
260
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,370
dresses.
261
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,707
What shall I do?"
262
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,752
"Go on a diet".
263
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,744
Oh, thank you, Lance...
264
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,714
May I have the ketchup, please.
265
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,454
I'm certainly glad you
266
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:45,955
finished that column.
267
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,124
Oh, so am I, darling.
268
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,835
I'm all yours now...
269
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,837
Oh, excuse me, are you waiting
270
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:53,629
to be seated?
271
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,464
Yes, they had us at a table for
two,
272
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,299
but we wanted a larger table,
273
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,344
so we could meet more people.
274
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,762
Aren't you Dear Beverly?
275
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,014
Oh, I, I'm sorry.
276
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:04,974
Don't worry about it.
277
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,475
It happens all the time.
278
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,436
Yes, I'm Beverly Blanchard, and
279
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,146
this is my husband, Russ.
280
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,814
And, you know, I really
281
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,940
understand your problem.
282
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,942
It's very important to meet new
283
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,277
people, and sometimes it's
284
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,319
terribly difficult.
285
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,988
Well, if Dear Beverly can't help
us,
286
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,783
nobody can.
287
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,201
Darling, I know this was going
288
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,203
to be our evening, but,
289
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,997
they are such nice people.
290
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,834
Do you mind?
291
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,211
Sure.
292
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,504
Then it's all settled.
293
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:39,091
We are your first new people.
294
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,010
Good.
295
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,189
Now, that's a nice couple.
296
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:53,981
So, when are you getting
297
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,900
your divorce?
298
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:59,153
Bum!
299
00:12:59,236 --> 00:12:59,695
You think they're trying
300
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:04,033
to tell us something?
301
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,367
P.A.:"The late sitting of dinner
302
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,036
is now being served in the Coral
303
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,162
Dining Room.
304
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,830
Bon appetito.
305
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,540
You ready for dinner?
306
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,542
Well, rather hang out in
307
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,379
the moonlight with you.
308
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,255
Jeff, we've known each
309
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,882
other a long time.
310
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,302
How come all of a sudden...?
311
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,222
Well, I guess I've been
312
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,265
too busy messing up my life.
313
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,267
First I loused up my marriage,
314
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,101
and, then I was living with
315
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,813
someone for a while, that didn't
work.
316
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,358
Maybe this time I'll get lucky.
317
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,372
What is it, Jeff?
318
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,415
Why do I feel like your heart
319
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,459
isn't in this?
320
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,504
What are you talking about?
321
00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,922
You're, you're a fantastic girl,
322
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,257
I've always thought you were
323
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,885
beautiful, and sensitive.
324
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,054
I think you're great.
325
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,600
This isn't gonna work, is it?
326
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,977
Nope.
327
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,064
Is it your wife?
328
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:20,651
Yep.
329
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,611
Still hung up on Gail.
330
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:30,953
Evening, Doc.
331
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:31,745
Hello.
332
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:32,329
Hi.
333
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:32,955
Gail, I'd like you to meet
334
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,415
Gopher Smith, our Assistant
335
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,082
Purser.
336
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:35,749
Hi.
337
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,375
Hey, how about that.
338
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,002
You both have the same name.
339
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,295
Gee, I've been called many
things,
340
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,297
but never Gail.
341
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,756
I've been called many things
342
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,341
but never Gopher.
343
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:44,925
All right, you both have
344
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:45,676
the same sense of humor,
345
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:46,260
terrible.
346
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,511
Hey, look out, Doc, lot
347
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,512
more Smiths in the world than
348
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,638
Brickers, you know.
349
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,099
And, our numbers are increasing.
350
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,143
Congratulations...
351
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,144
May I join you?
352
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:55,477
Please do.
353
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,145
Of course.
354
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,187
Thank you.
355
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,106
So...what are you gonna call the
356
00:14:59,189 --> 00:14:59,565
baby?
357
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:00,691
Oh, I don't know.
358
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:01,650
I like the old-fashioned names,
359
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,693
like Johnny.
360
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,194
As in Walker.
361
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,279
Or Jack.
362
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,655
As in Daniels.
363
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,115
How about Jim?
364
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:09,742
As in Beam!
365
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,161
Nobody'd ever guess he's a
bartender.
366
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,329
Gail Smith, Isaac Washington.
367
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,330
How do you do?
368
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,289
Hi.
369
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,915
Listen, how about the name,
370
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,001
Cleofus?
371
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,128
Now, that's a nice name.
372
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,171
Um hm.
373
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,299
Henry?
374
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:26,675
I got it.
375
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,136
How about Jeff?
376
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,305
Jeff Smith?
377
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:32,306
I like it.
378
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,187
Would you excuse me.
379
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,355
Gail?
380
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,524
Wait a minute...
381
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,319
Gee, wish I'd said Harvey.
382
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,030
As in Walbanger.
383
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,588
Can I help?
384
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:05,714
Oh, Doc...
385
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:10,386
Hey, hey, it's okay.
386
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,512
I'm sorry.
387
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,888
Being around me is like not
388
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,682
having to take a shower.
389
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:15,724
It's okay.
390
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,477
I'll save on soap.
391
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,062
What happened in there?
392
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:23,232
Well...Jeff Smith is my
393
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,901
husband's name.
394
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,361
Except, in two weeks from now,
395
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,737
he'll be my ex-husband.
396
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,738
Now, I thought that would make
397
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,740
me very happy, but, a funny
398
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,200
thing happened on the way to the
399
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,535
divorce...
400
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,036
Found out I'm still in love with
401
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,371
him.
402
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,081
How does a man divorce the lady
403
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,833
who's carrying his child?
404
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,918
He doesn't know about it.
405
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:43,585
You see, he walked out on me
406
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,212
before I found out, and I'm, I'm
407
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,422
not gonna use the baby to try
408
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,798
and get him back.
409
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,925
But, surely, he has the right to
know.
410
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:52,052
Well, I tried to reach him.
411
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,470
I was gonna sort of sound him
out,
412
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,432
and see if we,
413
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,474
but a woman answered.
414
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:01,103
He's living with somebody else.
415
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:01,770
Here.
416
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,813
Try this one.
417
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:03,981
It's dry.
418
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,482
Oh, Doc.
419
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:28,422
Darling, I'm sorry I neglected
you
420
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,590
but I thought I'd sneak
421
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,759
in a couple of hours on my book.
422
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:32,301
Your book?
423
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:32,968
Uh huh.
424
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:35,179
First the column, now a book?
425
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:35,971
What am I doing here?
426
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,639
You could have brought my
picture?
427
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,642
Oh, Russ, don't spoil things.
428
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,269
Do you have any idea how long
429
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,312
it's been since we've been away
430
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,646
on a holiday?
431
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,690
Yeah, I was seven, you were
four.
432
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,651
Oh, I didn't know it was that
recent.
433
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,987
Oh, darling, I do love to be
434
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:52,863
away with you.
435
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,491
Well, I like hanging out with
you, too.
436
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,493
Listen, why don't we start the
437
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,869
cocktail hour early today.
438
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,913
Are you trying to take
439
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,539
advantage of a poor, defenseless
440
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,374
woman?
441
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,542
Exactly.
442
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,295
Good.
443
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:12,549
I'll be a minute.
444
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,842
Then she said yes, and I
445
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:14,968
Oh, sure.
446
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:15,844
Two Rum Collins, please.
447
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,137
You got it, sir.
448
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,180
Excuse me.
449
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,307
Is that your wife over there?
450
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,141
The Dear Beverly?
451
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,184
Yeah.
452
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,811
Oh, yeah?
453
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,395
Hey, man, she is really
454
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,772
something else.
455
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,565
She always has the right answer.
456
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,900
That's right.
457
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:32,569
And she just gave me the right
answer.
458
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:36,907
That's way I'm taking a drink to
her.
459
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,450
Hey, how about that, man?
460
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,743
Guy left you a three dollar tip
461
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:44,373
and forgot to pay for the
drinks.
462
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,874
When a mother-in-law comes to
visit,
463
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,543
how long should she stay?
464
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,545
Well, it depends whether you're
465
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,048
home or not.
466
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:53,340
Your drink,
467
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,216
darling?
468
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,926
In a moment, love.
469
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:57,219
But, why do we always pick on
470
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,345
mother-in-laws?
471
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,013
Why don't we pick on
father-in-laws,
472
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,348
or for that matter,
473
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:04,393
why don't we pick on ourselves?
474
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,979
After all, none of us are
perfect.
475
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,147
Well, almost none of us.
476
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,243
You have a very popular wife.
477
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,411
Oh...
478
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:26,915
Hey, how would you like the
479
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,584
specialty of the house?
480
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,043
Supervised and given the careful
481
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,712
attention of Russ Blanchard
himself.
482
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,255
Well, you just made me an offer,
483
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,715
I can't refuse.
484
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,300
Good.
485
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:45,142
Now, that's a nice couple.
486
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,977
That's Dear Beverly's husband.
487
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,634
What are you doing?
488
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,302
You like ketchup?
489
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,345
Swim for it.
490
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,804
Get back to the kitchen,
491
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:23,639
and take this ketchup with you.
492
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,474
I'd rather die.
493
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,185
Don't tempt me.
494
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,186
I don't understand.
495
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,604
I've never had problems like
496
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,147
this with any other chef.
497
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,607
I'm not any other chef.
498
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,193
I am numero uno...
499
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,527
It's not easy creating
500
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,862
masterpieces for six hundred
501
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:39,988
people.
502
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,032
How would you know?
503
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,659
Look who's talking.
504
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:44,785
Christopher Columbus!
505
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,870
He aims his ship to Mexico, and
506
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,498
then he goes dancing for a week.
507
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,500
Commanding a ship is a tad more
508
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,669
complicated than scrambling
eggs.
509
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,671
Scrambling eggs, hah?
510
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,172
You happen to be talking to a
511
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,674
man who performs miracles with
512
00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,967
eggs!
513
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,470
Mostly, you lay them.
514
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:05,973
[YELLS IN ITALIAN].
515
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,066
Italian semaphore.
516
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:28,704
Alvin,
517
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:30,455
take this below deck, please.
518
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,644
Two bars and a lemon.
519
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:53,645
It's the story of my life.
520
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,023
I was born to lose.
521
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:58,025
Jeff, why are you putting
522
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,401
yourself through all this?
523
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,902
If you love your wife so much,
524
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,195
why don't you try to get back
525
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,573
together with her?
526
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,199
I blew it, Julie.
527
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,826
I burned my bridges.
528
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:08,744
I walked out the door, and I
529
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:09,703
moved in with somebody else.
530
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:10,454
I know Gail.
531
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,414
She'll never forgive me for
that.
532
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,331
Well, how are you gonna know
533
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,291
that for sure if you don't
534
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:15,625
get in touch with her?
535
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:16,752
I'm not.
536
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,503
Aren't you gonna try?
537
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:22,591
Nope.
538
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:23,467
Well, you're sure trying
539
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:24,551
with that machine.
540
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:25,886
Yeah.
541
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:35,937
And it keeps coming up
lemons, too.
542
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:36,772
Do you have a quarter?
543
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:37,606
I want to play the machine.
544
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,608
Oh, sure.
545
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:40,734
There you go.
546
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,277
Split the winnings?
547
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,570
Of course.
548
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:51,119
I won!
549
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:52,412
Look at that!
550
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,291
It's incredible!
551
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,918
Gail, I thought we were gonna
552
00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:58,460
split the winnings.
553
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,629
Oh, yeah.
554
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:12,682
Here's your quarter.
555
00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:13,725
Well, you really get
556
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:14,810
unbelievable letters.
557
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:17,604
Oh, they usually are from
normal,
558
00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:18,939
everyday people,
559
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,649
you know, with real problems.
560
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,817
There are some exceptions.
561
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,819
Like, this woman wrote that her
562
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:25,779
husband's secretary only wears a
563
00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:27,781
bra and little panties to the
564
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,783
office, like that he saves money
565
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,952
on the air conditioning.
566
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,664
And what did you advise her?
567
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:36,414
Well, I told her to tell her
568
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:40,460
husband to cool it in the
office.
569
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:41,711
Sorry to be late.
570
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,171
Tell me more.
571
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,339
Well, as the man said,
572
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,008
I got millions of them.
573
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,385
We meet again.
574
00:23:48,468 --> 00:23:50,053
This forty year old spinster
575
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,805
read a book, titled
576
00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:53,473
'Sex After Seventy', and she
577
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:55,517
wanted to know if she has to
578
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,812
wait until then!
579
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:00,188
Oh, that's marvelous!
580
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,983
Marvelous!
581
00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:03,984
Well, what would you like to
582
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:06,361
have for dinner?
583
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:08,071
Well, let me see.
584
00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:10,407
I think I'll have a steak, very
585
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,533
rare, please.
586
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,869
Oh, and a salad.
587
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,538
Oh, dear, my favorite is
588
00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:18,206
chocolate soufflé, but it isn't
589
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,708
on the menu.
590
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,835
Chocolate soufflé?
591
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:23,545
Your wish is my command...
592
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:24,671
Gopher...
593
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:25,714
Come here, please.
594
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:26,756
Would you please tell the chef,
595
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,425
the Captain requests a chocolate
596
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:29,551
soufflé for dessert.
597
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:29,885
Yes, sir.
598
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:30,760
Oh, Captain.
599
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:32,220
I am most impressed.
600
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,555
It was nothing.
601
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:35,557
Oh, but it is.
602
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,059
You're a born leader.
603
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:38,768
Well...
604
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:39,561
Oh, come on, Captain,
605
00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:40,896
admit it.
606
00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:42,189
You are the kind of a man who
607
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,773
gets what he wants.
608
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:50,864
Someone has to be boss.
609
00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:55,577
Chef Borga says no way.
610
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:57,204
There, there has been some
611
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:58,246
misunderstanding.
612
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,539
No, I don't think so, sir.
613
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:00,248
He used a lot of colorful
614
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,375
Italian adjectives and gestures.
615
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,752
Are you familiar with...
616
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:05,462
Please excuse me.
617
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:06,630
Excuse me.
618
00:25:06,713 --> 00:25:07,464
Excuse me.
619
00:25:07,547 --> 00:25:11,259
Excuse me.
620
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:21,603
Out!
621
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:22,270
Out!
622
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:23,230
Out of my kitchen.
623
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,232
Your kitchen is part of my ship,
624
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:26,900
and I am requesting a
625
00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:28,944
chocolate soufflé for dessert.
626
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,612
BORGA: You want requests, go
627
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:33,949
talk to the bandleader.
628
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:34,783
I don't have to take this from
629
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:38,828
a short order cook.
630
00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:41,456
Short order cook?
631
00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:42,582
Borga?
632
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:43,959
I demand an apology!
633
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:45,043
Never!
634
00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:46,628
If I don't have an apology
635
00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:48,463
in writing in my hand by
tomorrow,
636
00:25:48,546 --> 00:25:49,673
this is the last dinner
637
00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:50,966
I cook on this ship.
638
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,718
You call this dinner?
639
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:54,427
Out!
640
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:55,845
Or I make mince meat out of you.
641
00:25:55,929 --> 00:26:05,105
Where would you steal the
recipe?
642
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:06,982
If I told you once, I told you
643
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:07,983
a thousand times,
644
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,651
one tomato on each plate!
645
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:12,487
What's the matter with you!
646
00:26:12,570 --> 00:26:13,947
My apologies, but the chef
647
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,949
ran out of chocolate.
648
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:18,493
Oh, well, that's perfectly all
right
649
00:26:18,576 --> 00:26:20,453
I really don't need the extra
calories,
650
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,663
and Russ doesn't like.
651
00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:23,623
Russ?
652
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:26,167
He left.
653
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,294
He did?
654
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:28,628
You even said goodbye to him.
655
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:29,379
Don't you remember?
656
00:26:29,462 --> 00:26:30,505
No.
657
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,507
You know, when I start talking
658
00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:34,509
about my work, I'm in another
659
00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:35,593
planet.
660
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,554
Like the other night in New
York,
661
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:39,014
I was signing autographs
662
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:41,141
after my TV show, and my mother
663
00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:42,559
came backstage, and I wrote,
664
00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:46,354
happiness always to, then I
asked her
665
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:49,858
how do you spell your name?
666
00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:50,859
[SINGS] Ain't
667
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:55,155
misbehavin' all by myself...
668
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:09,711
Your cheatin' heart will tell on
669
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:10,962
you...
670
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:29,481
Now, how about a lectern,
671
00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:30,732
you know, for your notes?
672
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,108
Oh, I never use notes.
673
00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,110
It's a crutch.
674
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,236
Right.
675
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,279
Well, listen, Mrs.Blanchard,
676
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:36,738
you just leave
677
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:37,447
everything to me.
678
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:37,906
I'll have it all set up for you
679
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:39,324
by this afternoon.
680
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:40,241
Oh, thank you.
681
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,409
Thank you very much.
682
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:45,538
You bet.
683
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,373
That was Dear Beverly you
684
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:47,415
were talking to.
685
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:48,541
Yeah.
686
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:51,211
I really like her.
687
00:27:51,294 --> 00:27:52,545
Stick around.
688
00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:54,089
She may be available soon.
689
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:54,923
Oh, what's that supposed
690
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,049
to mean?
691
00:27:56,132 --> 00:28:00,637
Last night, when I was on deck,
692
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,639
I saw her husband, giving
693
00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:04,099
kissing lessons to one of our
694
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:05,433
lady passengers.
695
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:06,267
You're kidding.
696
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,937
Um ummm.
697
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:12,148
And he's a good teacher!
698
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:13,942
What a rotten creep.
699
00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:15,276
Now, wait a minute.
700
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,444
Wait a minute, Gopher, it's her
701
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,779
own fault.
702
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:18,822
I mean, she's been so busy with
703
00:28:18,905 --> 00:28:20,407
everybody else, she's been
704
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,450
leaving him out in the cold.
705
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:23,952
Oh, gee, that's a shame.
706
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:25,120
Maybe I ought to tell her.
707
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:26,454
Butt out!
708
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:27,247
I mean, it's none of your
709
00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:28,581
business.
710
00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:29,290
Yeah, but if I don't tell her,
711
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:32,627
her marriage may go on the
rocks.
712
00:28:32,710 --> 00:28:33,628
But, if I do tell her, her
713
00:28:33,711 --> 00:28:34,838
marriage may go on the rocks.
714
00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:36,297
Maybe I should tell him.
715
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,800
He already knows.
716
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,928
Isaac, I don't know what to do.
717
00:28:42,011 --> 00:28:45,515
Sounds like a problem for
718
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:47,434
Dear Beverly.
719
00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:48,476
Sounds more like Dear Beverly's
720
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,145
problem.
721
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:13,334
Want to sit for a minute?
722
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:14,377
Oh yeah.
723
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:20,008
Ah.
724
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:20,884
Beautiful day...
725
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:31,853
Well, I thought it was a
726
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:34,606
beautiful day.
727
00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:36,483
What's wrong?
728
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,736
My mind's playing tricks on me.
729
00:29:39,819 --> 00:29:41,529
For a moment, I thought I
smelled
730
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,655
Jeff's pipe tobacco, and
731
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,867
then the baby kicked.
732
00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,869
Oh, Doc, I'm having a terrible
733
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:49,871
time.
734
00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:51,706
You see, I want the baby to know
735
00:29:51,789 --> 00:29:54,250
his father, and he would have if
736
00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,628
I hadn't been such a damn fool
737
00:29:56,711 --> 00:29:58,379
and pushed Jeff up into the arms
738
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,215
of another woman.
739
00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:04,219
Gail, I don't have any more
740
00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:06,721
dry shoulders.
741
00:30:06,804 --> 00:30:08,181
You're not solving anything by
742
00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:09,057
telling all this to me.
743
00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:11,726
Tell it to him.
744
00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:13,061
You've got a whole jackpot's
745
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:14,187
worth of quarters.
746
00:30:14,270 --> 00:30:15,396
Now, why don't you put some of
747
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:20,568
'em into a phone.
748
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:24,280
Maybe I'll hit the jackpot
again.
749
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:28,451
Thanks, Doc.
750
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:30,078
Doc?
751
00:30:46,386 --> 00:30:47,971
So, remember, live by the good
752
00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:50,932
old golden rule, and with
753
00:30:51,015 --> 00:30:52,433
the price of gold now a days,
754
00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:53,768
I mean, it's getting more
755
00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:57,438
valuable every day...
756
00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:58,606
Thank you.
757
00:30:58,690 --> 00:31:00,275
Thank you very much...
758
00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:01,317
Oh, excuse me.
759
00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:03,444
May I get something to drink.
760
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,446
I...my tummy's not feeling very
well,
761
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:06,322
it's something I ate,
762
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:06,656
I guess.
763
00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:07,448
Certainly.
764
00:31:07,532 --> 00:31:09,284
Thank you.
765
00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:10,868
Any questions?
766
00:31:10,952 --> 00:31:11,953
Yes?
767
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:13,955
I'm planning to get married when
768
00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:15,373
I graduate next year.
769
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:16,165
What are some of the most
770
00:31:16,249 --> 00:31:18,209
popular honeymoon places?
771
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:23,006
Well, with me, it was blowing in
my ear.
772
00:31:23,089 --> 00:31:24,465
But, why don't you ask your
773
00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,633
travel agent, I'm sure she has
774
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:28,970
better suggestions...
775
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,388
Thank you...
776
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,060
Any other questions?...
777
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,106
Yes?
778
00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:41,149
Oh, no.
779
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:44,152
Never mind.
780
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:45,278
Yes, Gopher?
781
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:51,159
Well, this isn't about me.
782
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:55,496
That's what they all say.
783
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,665
Go on.
784
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,001
Well, uh, this, um,
785
00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:01,127
friend of mine.
786
00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:02,545
She's very witty and charming
787
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:06,799
and...gorgeous,
788
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:08,343
but she's so wrapped up in her
job,
789
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,094
that she never pays any
attention to her husband,
790
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:14,182
and now he's beginning to,
791
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:16,184
wander, and...I,
792
00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:18,519
I don't want to hurt my friend,
793
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:19,937
but how do I tell her?
794
00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:21,689
Oh, well, don't bother.
795
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,651
If she's so insensitive that she
796
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:25,902
can't give the time of day to
797
00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:27,904
her husband, then he's right to
798
00:32:27,987 --> 00:32:29,238
give the time of night to
799
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:30,281
someone else...
800
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,041
Ladies and gentlemen,
801
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:43,378
I think my time is just about
up.
802
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:50,551
Thank you very much.
803
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,887
Captain, please write the
apology.
804
00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,430
I'm telling you, he means it.
805
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:55,765
He's gonna go out on strike and
806
00:32:55,848 --> 00:32:56,891
take the whole kitchen staff
807
00:32:56,974 --> 00:32:57,392
with him.
808
00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:58,559
It's absurd!
809
00:32:58,643 --> 00:32:59,686
He's bluffing.
810
00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:00,311
What if he's not?
811
00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:01,896
Miss McCoy, I have commanded
812
00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:02,897
everything from
813
00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:04,273
destroyer to cruise ship.
814
00:33:04,357 --> 00:33:06,943
I have weathered typhoon, enemy
815
00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:07,652
fire.
816
00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:09,070
Believe me, this isn't something
817
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:18,955
I can't handle.
818
00:33:19,038 --> 00:33:19,872
Hey, Julie, you done with
819
00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:20,915
that salad yet?
820
00:33:20,998 --> 00:33:22,667
Hey, stop worrying about me
821
00:33:22,750 --> 00:33:24,919
and concentrate on that,
822
00:33:25,002 --> 00:33:26,421
inferno you're cooking.
823
00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:27,547
What is that?
824
00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:28,089
What do I know?
825
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:28,589
I'm only cooking it,
826
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:30,633
I'm not gonna eat it.
827
00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:35,888
Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait,
828
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:36,556
wait, wait, keep your potato
829
00:33:36,639 --> 00:33:38,224
peelings out of my soup, man.
830
00:33:38,307 --> 00:33:39,475
Soup?
831
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:41,602
I thought this was the garbage.
832
00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:42,478
Listen, Doc, can you help me
833
00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:43,604
stir the...
834
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:44,021
Okay.
835
00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:45,606
Just a second...
836
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,608
Okay, boy this soup is really
837
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,777
gonna stick to your ribs.
838
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:50,611
How are you gonna get it
839
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:51,612
out of the pot?
840
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,697
Let me taste that,
841
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:53,489
excuse me, Mr.Washington,
842
00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:54,532
thank you...
843
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,247
Needs ketchup.
844
00:34:01,330 --> 00:34:02,248
Hurry up with those potatoes,
845
00:34:02,331 --> 00:34:03,332
Mr.Smith.
846
00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:04,041
Sir, I've already peeled
847
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:04,959
half of Idaho, how many more do
848
00:34:05,042 --> 00:34:05,710
you want?
849
00:34:05,793 --> 00:34:07,003
Just peel the other half of
Idaho,
850
00:34:07,086 --> 00:34:08,171
that'll take care of it.
851
00:34:08,254 --> 00:34:08,880
Captain, if anybody needs
852
00:34:08,963 --> 00:34:10,631
anything well done, I've got it.
853
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:12,341
You can't serve that.
854
00:34:12,425 --> 00:34:13,801
That's burnt to a crisp!
855
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:15,136
Captain, pork has to be
856
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,637
cooked very, very thoroughly.
857
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:18,473
That's pork?
858
00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:21,934
It's filet of sole.
859
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:22,810
Oh, Captain, this whole
860
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:24,979
thing is stupid...
861
00:34:25,062 --> 00:34:27,398
Not that I mind, but, it's not
862
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:30,485
fair to the passengers.
863
00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:32,487
Please apologize.
864
00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:35,364
Never!
865
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:36,324
Thank you, Miss McCoy,
866
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:37,867
thank you...
867
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:53,841
Oh, so...you came to apologize.
868
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,259
Needs ketchup.
869
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:04,018
Sir, what about your dinner
rolls?
870
00:35:04,101 --> 00:35:05,144
Don't worry.
871
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:06,729
I'll fry them when I get back.
872
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:13,027
I'm sorry.
873
00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:15,363
But all you people don't have to
874
00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:16,405
do this if it wasn't for your
875
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:19,033
stubborn Captain.
876
00:35:19,116 --> 00:35:21,702
All I ask for is an apology,
877
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,663
in writing.
878
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,003
How are you at forgery?
879
00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:32,088
Hey, a piece of cake.
880
00:35:32,171 --> 00:35:33,214
Cake!
881
00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:33,673
What are we gonna do about
882
00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:36,384
dessert?!
883
00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:45,726
Here you are, Chef Borga,
884
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,855
just what you asked for.
885
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:53,276
Ah, I knew he would apologize.
886
00:35:53,359 --> 00:35:55,236
Stubborn man that Captain, but,
887
00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,363
at least he knows when he's been
888
00:35:57,446 --> 00:35:58,155
defeated.
889
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,199
Then you will return to the
kitchen?
890
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:01,242
Of course.
891
00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:02,577
Oh...
892
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:08,249
A maestro's place is with the
orchestra,
893
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:12,920
not in the audience.
894
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,213
My sincere apologies,
895
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:16,549
Antonio Borga.' Didn't I tell ya
896
00:36:16,632 --> 00:36:17,592
he'd break first?
897
00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,594
I knew he'd crumble once he
898
00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:20,928
realized we could do his job as
899
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,431
well as he could.
900
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:37,069
Oh, I'm sorry darling, I didn't
901
00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:37,778
know you were working.
902
00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:38,446
I'll be back later.
903
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:39,989
Oh, Russ, Russ, come in darling.
904
00:36:40,072 --> 00:36:41,282
This is a special column I want
905
00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:43,784
you to hear.
906
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:48,164
Uh, sure.
907
00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:50,625
"Dear readers: Instead of you
908
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,294
writing to me today, I am
writing
909
00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:55,087
this letter to you.
910
00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:57,340
You won't be hearing from me for
911
00:36:57,423 --> 00:36:59,467
the next two weeks, because I'll
912
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,135
be going on a vacation with my
913
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,178
husband.
914
00:37:02,261 --> 00:37:03,304
I don't know where he's going to
915
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:04,805
take me, but I'm sure he'll pick
916
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,141
a spot where the two of us can
917
00:37:07,224 --> 00:37:08,768
be blissfully and marvelously
918
00:37:08,851 --> 00:37:11,479
alone.
919
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:16,275
You kept me very busy for a long
time,
920
00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:18,235
but if I am too busy to spend
921
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:20,237
some time with my husband, I,
922
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,531
I might lose him, and nothing
923
00:37:22,615 --> 00:37:24,533
in the world would be worth
924
00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:25,660
that.
925
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:29,664
Not fame, not fortune, not
926
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:32,458
anything.
927
00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:39,465
Yours always, Mrs.Russell
Blanchard."
928
00:37:46,555 --> 00:37:47,682
Am I too late?
929
00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,526
I have a life subscription.
930
00:37:58,609 --> 00:37:59,902
I love you, Bev.
931
00:37:59,986 --> 00:38:01,737
That Peggy, she...
932
00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:02,863
Don't confess.
933
00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:03,906
Never confess.
934
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:05,992
It, it just doesn't solve
anything.
935
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:07,326
What is that advice?
936
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:08,369
Oh, I'm not going to give any
937
00:38:08,452 --> 00:38:10,788
advice for the next two weeks.
938
00:38:10,871 --> 00:38:14,667
Why don't you write to Dear
Abby.
939
00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:44,613
Well, I'm glad to see everything
940
00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:45,740
is back to normal,
941
00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:46,782
Chef Borga.
942
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,075
That makes two of us,
943
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,577
Captain Stubing.
944
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,245
You know, Captain, maybe
945
00:38:51,328 --> 00:38:51,912
we should leave.
946
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,372
I'm sure that Chef Borga has a
947
00:38:53,456 --> 00:38:54,623
lot of work to do, and...
948
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:56,042
In a minute, in a minute.
949
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,377
Antonio, I know that I am not
950
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:00,546
the easiest man in the world to
951
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:01,589
deal with.
952
00:39:01,672 --> 00:39:03,507
That's true.
953
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:04,884
And I know I pushed you
954
00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:05,926
to your limit.
955
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,470
But, I want you to know that I
956
00:39:07,553 --> 00:39:10,431
think it was very big of you to
957
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:12,600
apologize.
958
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:14,935
What?
959
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,270
What did he say?
960
00:39:16,353 --> 00:39:18,272
I didn't apologize to you.
961
00:39:18,355 --> 00:39:19,565
You're the one who backed down.
962
00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:20,691
Me?
963
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,619
I never wrote that.
964
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:32,787
I never wrote this.
965
00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:33,788
Then who did?
966
00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:37,083
Beats me.
967
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:38,918
Maybe we'd better go find out.
968
00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:40,252
Yeah.
969
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,921
Captain, you never know, there
970
00:39:42,004 --> 00:39:42,755
might be a forger on board.
971
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:49,470
So, you never did apologize, eh?
972
00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:50,137
Why should I?
973
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,305
I wasn't at fault.
974
00:39:51,388 --> 00:39:52,473
Then what are you doing
975
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:52,973
in my kitchen?!
976
00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:55,101
This is my kitchen.
977
00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:56,977
You work for me.
978
00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:58,312
When will you ever get that
979
00:39:58,395 --> 00:40:00,689
through your head?!...
980
00:40:08,030 --> 00:40:11,492
All right...
981
00:40:11,575 --> 00:40:15,663
All right..
982
00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:20,376
I apologize.
983
00:40:20,459 --> 00:40:23,337
Because of my Line, because of
984
00:40:23,420 --> 00:40:25,047
my crew, because of my
985
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:26,507
passengers.
986
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:29,218
Captain, you are a gentleman.
987
00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:31,178
And because, I happen
988
00:40:31,262 --> 00:40:33,180
to be the only Captain afloat
989
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:43,232
with dishpan hands.
990
00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:48,654
with dishpan hands.
991
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:49,321
Come on, Gail.
992
00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:50,531
You can't give up just because
993
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:51,907
of one phone call.
994
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,909
It wasn't just one phone call.
995
00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:55,369
It was a lot of phone calls.
996
00:40:55,452 --> 00:40:56,704
Finally, I called his office,
997
00:40:56,787 --> 00:40:58,789
and they said he'd gone on a
trip.
998
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:00,207
He's probably with her.
999
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,041
Now, wait a minute.
1000
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:01,709
Back up.
1001
00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:02,793
Look, your husband is a travel
1002
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:03,878
agent, right?
1003
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:05,171
Well, is he or isn't he?
1004
00:41:05,254 --> 00:41:05,796
Yes, he is.
1005
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,089
All right, he goes on trips
1006
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:08,215
all the time.
1007
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:09,216
And, where is it written that
1008
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,094
he's with anybody?
1009
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:13,220
You're right.
1010
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,054
You're right.
1011
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:14,930
Why am I such a pessimist?
1012
00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:16,098
I'm getting to be a real pain in
1013
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:16,891
the neck to you.
1014
00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:18,225
That's all right, I'm a
physician.
1015
00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:21,437
I can heal myself.
1016
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:24,732
Very, very confusing.
1017
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:26,400
But, then the Captain finally
1018
00:41:26,483 --> 00:41:27,943
did apologize.
1019
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,320
For real.
1020
00:41:29,403 --> 00:41:32,239
I couldn't believe it.
1021
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,407
Well, anyway, that's why I
1022
00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:35,242
haven't been around much all
day.
1023
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:35,826
Well, that's okay.
1024
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,912
It gave me time to think.
1025
00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:39,038
You're absolutely right.
1026
00:41:39,121 --> 00:41:41,040
I'm gonna get in touch with
Gail,
1027
00:41:41,123 --> 00:41:41,916
and tell her that I love her.
1028
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:43,042
Oh!
1029
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,126
Because I do love her, and
1030
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:46,128
there's nothing I want more than
1031
00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:46,837
to be with her.
1032
00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:49,757
Oh, Jeff, I'm so happy for you!
1033
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,716
So, I told him if he
1034
00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:53,594
really expected me to...
1035
00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:54,887
Oh, my God.
1036
00:41:54,970 --> 00:41:55,721
What is it?
1037
00:41:55,804 --> 00:41:56,931
Why, that's Jeff, and that
1038
00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:58,057
must be her!
1039
00:41:58,140 --> 00:41:59,642
That's Julie McCoy, our
1040
00:41:59,725 --> 00:42:00,809
Cruise Director.
1041
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:01,936
Oh.
1042
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:02,978
Ohhhh!
1043
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,104
Oh, Doc...
1044
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:05,189
What?
1045
00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,274
I think the baby's coming!
1046
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:08,442
Okay, put your arm around
1047
00:42:08,525 --> 00:42:09,485
my neck.
1048
00:42:09,568 --> 00:42:11,111
Everything's gonna be okay.
1049
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,947
Jeff, what's wrong?
1050
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:14,073
Gail!
1051
00:42:14,156 --> 00:42:15,741
My God, why didn't you tell me?
1052
00:42:15,824 --> 00:42:16,408
Would you excuse us,
1053
00:42:16,492 --> 00:42:16,825
please.
1054
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:17,910
I'm her husband.
1055
00:42:17,993 --> 00:42:18,702
In just a little while ago
1056
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:19,286
you're gonna be more than a
husband,
1057
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:21,580
you're gonna be a father.
1058
00:42:21,664 --> 00:42:22,623
I'm scared.
1059
00:42:22,706 --> 00:42:23,624
Okay, hold on tight.
1060
00:42:23,707 --> 00:42:24,750
I'm gonna pick you up, and carry
1061
00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:25,501
you to my office.
1062
00:42:25,584 --> 00:42:26,794
May I, doctor, please.
1063
00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:27,127
Okay.
1064
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,170
Gently.
1065
00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:29,296
Honey, I love you.
1066
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:30,005
I don't know what happened to
us,
1067
00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:31,257
but it's not gonna happen again.
1068
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,299
Doc, how can I help?
1069
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:33,425
Forget it.
1070
00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:34,718
I saw you make a salad.
1071
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:39,640
Honey...
1072
00:42:39,723 --> 00:42:40,307
Okay.
1073
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,476
Bear down.
1074
00:42:42,559 --> 00:42:43,644
And I never stopped thinking
1075
00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:44,311
about you one minute
1076
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,439
the whole time we were apart.
1077
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:48,482
Breathe.
1078
00:42:48,565 --> 00:42:49,984
I am.
1079
00:42:50,067 --> 00:42:50,484
Not you.
1080
00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:51,944
Her.
1081
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,368
I was too proud to say I was
wrong.
1082
00:42:59,451 --> 00:43:01,996
But I'm not too proud now.
1083
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:03,872
Bear down.
1084
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:08,210
Jeff, I have so much to tell
you,
1085
00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:09,169
but, it's gonna have to...
1086
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:22,516
wait.
1087
00:43:22,599 --> 00:43:25,394
Julie, Julie, listen, you sit,
1088
00:43:25,477 --> 00:43:26,520
I'll pace.
1089
00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,647
Thanks.
1090
00:43:28,731 --> 00:43:30,691
What is taking so long?!
1091
00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:32,693
Don't ask me, I've never
1092
00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:36,989
had any babies.
1093
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:37,698
Well, don't ask me, I've never
1094
00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:41,910
had any babies either.
1095
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:42,494
Has Doc ever delivered a
1096
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,371
baby before?
1097
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:45,664
Listen, listen, I've never
1098
00:43:45,748 --> 00:43:47,333
made soup for six hundred
1099
00:43:47,416 --> 00:43:49,043
people before, but it turned out
1100
00:43:49,126 --> 00:43:52,004
great.
1101
00:43:52,087 --> 00:43:53,756
I'll be the judge of that.
1102
00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:55,549
We have nothing to worry about.
1103
00:43:55,632 --> 00:43:56,216
I'm sure Doc is doing a
1104
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:57,551
wonderful job.
1105
00:43:57,634 --> 00:43:59,595
Oh, I'm sure he is.
1106
00:43:59,678 --> 00:44:01,638
I mean, that's one of the things
1107
00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:02,056
that constantly amazes me about
1108
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,390
Doc.
1109
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:07,728
That he's really a doctor.
1110
00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:08,604
He is, isn't he?
1111
00:44:08,687 --> 00:44:09,730
I mean, it's not a nickname
1112
00:44:09,813 --> 00:44:14,234
just...?
1113
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,277
Well...
1114
00:44:15,361 --> 00:44:18,572
Has my new passenger boarded?
1115
00:44:18,655 --> 00:44:19,740
Not yet, sir.
1116
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:29,375
Well, what's tak...
1117
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:32,419
what's taking so long?
1118
00:44:35,672 --> 00:44:36,423
Has the Doc delivered a baby
1119
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,133
before?
1120
00:44:42,179 --> 00:44:46,183
He really is a doctor, isn't he?
1121
00:44:51,438 --> 00:44:52,314
Bear down.
1122
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:54,942
Baby's in a good position.
1123
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:57,277
What's taking so long?
1124
00:44:57,361 --> 00:45:01,240
Towel...
1125
00:45:01,323 --> 00:45:02,282
Okay, one more time now, and I
1126
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,451
think we've got it...
1127
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:05,744
Okay, bear down a little
1128
00:45:05,828 --> 00:45:09,498
harder...
1129
00:45:09,581 --> 00:45:12,042
Here we go, this is it...
1130
00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:20,050
Well, hello, Mr.Smith!
1131
00:45:22,302 --> 00:45:25,222
Honey, it's a boy!!...
1132
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,777
Oh, Doc, tell me the truth.
1133
00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:39,528
Is this the first baby you ever
1134
00:45:39,611 --> 00:45:40,654
delivered?
1135
00:45:40,737 --> 00:45:41,321
The first?
1136
00:45:41,405 --> 00:45:42,781
Come on, I've been delivering
1137
00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:43,824
babies since medical school,
1138
00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:46,994
nineteen sixty-two...
1139
00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:50,581
This is the second.
1140
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:02,301
He really is a doctor.
1141
00:46:29,411 --> 00:46:30,370
Well, hi.
1142
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:31,497
Well, hello.
1143
00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:32,873
Don't tell me the whole
1144
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:34,208
cruise went by, and I never met
1145
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,584
you.
1146
00:46:35,667 --> 00:46:37,711
Well, you're meeting me now.
1147
00:46:37,794 --> 00:46:38,420
Better later than never.
1148
00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:41,882
Uh huh.
1149
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,050
That's the man who was with
1150
00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:44,843
the pregnant lady.
1151
00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:46,845
And that's the lady you was
1152
00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:50,766
with Dear Beverly's husband.
1153
00:46:50,849 --> 00:46:52,518
Sex fiend!
1154
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:56,772
Well, gee, now I am sorry
1155
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:58,023
I didn't meet you earlier.
1156
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,447
Gopher...Gopher,
1157
00:47:05,531 --> 00:47:06,823
thank you.
1158
00:47:06,907 --> 00:47:07,866
Thank you from the bottom of my
1159
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:08,909
heart.
1160
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:09,618
Looks like your advice
1161
00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,578
is gonna work out for my friend.
1162
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:12,746
Oh, yes, they're going
1163
00:47:12,829 --> 00:47:14,248
to live happily ever after.
1164
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:16,041
What's this all about?
1165
00:47:16,124 --> 00:47:18,043
Oh, well, I have these two
hamsters,
1166
00:47:18,126 --> 00:47:19,711
and they just haven't been
getting alone
1167
00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,463
as well as they should!
1168
00:47:21,547 --> 00:47:23,298
Thank you.
1169
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,926
There you are, darling.
1170
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:26,969
You see.
1171
00:47:27,052 --> 00:47:30,639
Bye.
1172
00:47:30,722 --> 00:47:32,307
Hey, you're a great chef,
1173
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:34,226
and you can sail with me
anytime.
1174
00:47:34,309 --> 00:47:36,228
Oh, [THANK YOU IN ITALIAN].
1175
00:47:36,311 --> 00:47:38,564
Thank you, and you...
1176
00:47:38,647 --> 00:47:39,398
are a fine Captain.
1177
00:47:39,481 --> 00:47:39,731
Thank you.
1178
00:47:39,815 --> 00:47:40,274
Thank you.
1179
00:47:40,357 --> 00:47:40,983
I want to tell you that
1180
00:47:41,066 --> 00:47:42,734
chocolate soufflé last night was
1181
00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:44,736
the best I've ever tasted!
1182
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:46,780
I thought you would like it.
1183
00:47:46,863 --> 00:47:48,699
It's the first time I ever made
1184
00:47:48,782 --> 00:47:49,783
it with ketchup.
1185
00:47:49,866 --> 00:47:51,285
What?
1186
00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:53,078
Just a little joke.
1187
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:54,413
You see, Chef Borga has a sense
1188
00:47:54,496 --> 00:47:55,455
of humor, too.
1189
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:56,582
Yes.
1190
00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:58,458
Arriverdeci...
1191
00:48:00,752 --> 00:48:02,462
Goodbye, Merrill.
1192
00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:04,381
Chow, Antonio.
1193
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:09,928
Isn't he beautiful?
1194
00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:11,638
Jeff, you're not coming home
1195
00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:15,475
because of the baby, are you?
1196
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:16,476
Yes I am.
1197
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:17,519
What?
1198
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:19,313
I'm coming home for you,
1199
00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:21,189
for us,
1200
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:25,485
especially for me.
1201
00:48:25,569 --> 00:48:26,862
I need you, Gail.
1202
00:48:38,915 --> 00:48:39,958
Bye, bye.
1203
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:41,668
Bye, bye.
1204
00:48:41,752 --> 00:48:46,340
Well, look who's here!
1205
00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:48,133
Time to say good-bye.
1206
00:48:48,216 --> 00:48:49,801
How can I ever thank you, Doc?
1207
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,386
Yeah, thanks, Doc.
1208
00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:52,137
I'll send you my bill in
1209
00:48:52,220 --> 00:48:53,180
the morning.
1210
00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:55,140
Julie, you're a good friend,
1211
00:48:55,223 --> 00:48:57,392
and a heck of a marriage
counselor.
1212
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:58,185
Well, I'll send you my
1213
00:48:58,268 --> 00:49:00,812
bill in the morning, too.
1214
00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:01,813
Okay, partner, say goodbye
1215
00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:03,190
to your Uncle Isaac.
1216
00:49:03,273 --> 00:49:04,316
Bye, Cleofus.
1217
00:49:04,399 --> 00:49:04,983
And your Uncle Gopher.
1218
00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:06,860
Your Uncle Adam, and your Aunt
1219
00:49:06,943 --> 00:49:08,654
Julie, and your Uncle Merrill.
1220
00:49:08,737 --> 00:49:11,573
Uncle Merrill, sir.
1221
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:12,199
We'd better get going.
1222
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:12,491
We still gotta go through
1223
00:49:12,574 --> 00:49:13,283
customs.
1224
00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:16,119
And do you have something to
declare.
1225
00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:17,204
Bye, bye.
1226
00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:17,704
Bye.
1227
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:20,832
Bye.
75099
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