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WEBVTT
00:20.121 --> 00:21.555
Since you're
in beach buggies,
00:21.622 --> 00:23.391
you will now drive
to the beach
00:23.457 --> 00:25.093
at the northernmost point
00:25.159 --> 00:27.161
of Namibia,
where it meets Angola.
00:27.228 --> 00:30.264
It's 1,000 miles away.
00:30.331 --> 00:32.100
RICHARD: We have
got to find this road.
00:32.166 --> 00:35.636
This is not gonna be
too clever in the dark.
00:35.703 --> 00:39.540
Listen. I shall find
the Southern Cross.
00:39.607 --> 00:42.110
RICHARD:
Oh, this is a bad idea!
00:42.176 --> 00:43.677
We are now trusting
our lives
00:43.744 --> 00:46.147
to an orangutang who
thinks he's Patrick Moore.
00:46.214 --> 00:49.950
JAMES:
24 hours of cold, misery,
00:50.017 --> 00:52.120
to achieve exactly nothing.
00:52.186 --> 00:54.655
I mean,
it is exactly nothing.
00:56.190 --> 00:57.825
RICHARD: Oh, it's coming in!
01:00.228 --> 01:02.630
This is the best desert
I've ever been to.
01:02.696 --> 01:04.565
Holy shit!
01:04.632 --> 01:06.800
RICHARD: Oh!
01:08.902 --> 01:13.141
JEREMY: What it actually
is is a big, orange
killing engine.
01:13.174 --> 01:15.042
- Jesus!
01:15.143 --> 01:17.478
RICHARD:
Oh, my God!
01:18.379 --> 01:20.681
Please make it! Please!
01:24.852 --> 01:28.289
Just need to find a road now.
This is not funny any more.
01:28.356 --> 01:30.191
I don't want another night
in the desert.
01:31.159 --> 01:32.460
Oh, my God.
01:32.526 --> 01:34.528
I could go east,
I could go west.
01:34.595 --> 01:36.730
RICHARD: Whichever way
you go, it goes somewhere.
01:36.797 --> 01:40.401
Yes! It is the road
to freedom.
01:41.335 --> 01:42.870
What the hell was that?
01:46.740 --> 01:50.811
What I'm driving here,
or attempting to drive,
is Apollo 13.
01:56.784 --> 02:01.889
JEREMY: It was morning
by the time I nursed
my wounded car into Windhoek,
02:01.955 --> 02:05.092
and my well-rested colleagues
were full of admiration
02:05.193 --> 02:07.328
for how I'd pulled off
such a feat.
02:08.629 --> 02:10.731
-Is that the first thing
you thought of?
02:10.798 --> 02:13.201
Tear a hole in it.
What's that gonna do?
02:13.234 --> 02:16.737
I needed to get to the bleed
valve on the radiator,
which is there.
02:16.804 --> 02:19.773
- And, to make life
doubly difficult...
02:21.074 --> 02:23.277
...I trod on my spectacles.
02:24.745 --> 02:26.647
That is tragic,
trying to fix it with one lens.
02:26.714 --> 02:30.684
I was trying to fix it.
And the only eye
I can close is this eye.
02:30.751 --> 02:33.321
-You can't close
your left eye?
-I can't close my left eye.
02:33.387 --> 02:37.391
Why didn't you put them on
upside down? You'd have
the lens over the other eye.
02:40.261 --> 02:41.495
That is logic there.
02:41.562 --> 02:43.631
- Oh, yeah.
02:43.697 --> 02:46.400
- Come on, let's go.
We've got a lot to do.
- JEREMY: No!
02:46.467 --> 02:48.602
The one thing we have
established now is that,
02:48.669 --> 02:50.371
with the exception
of Windhoek,
02:50.438 --> 02:55.243
which is the capital,
Namibia is a tough
and arduous place.
02:55.309 --> 02:56.977
- Yeah.
02:57.044 --> 02:59.747
- No.
- Have you got tenting
equipment of any sort?
02:59.813 --> 03:03.284
Have you got somewhere
to sleep other than
the desert floor? No.
03:03.351 --> 03:06.354
So why don't we, today,
get prepared
03:06.420 --> 03:09.723
for the next leg of the -
big leg of the journey?
03:09.790 --> 03:12.426
- That is a good idea.
We'll do that.
- That's not a bad idea.
03:12.493 --> 03:15.863
We'll grant ourselves
a day of... shopping. Mm.
03:15.929 --> 03:19.700
First of all,
would you permit me
to chisel some of the cheddar
03:19.767 --> 03:22.135
that has grown
in my underpants away?
03:22.270 --> 03:23.604
Well, not here.
03:25.138 --> 03:27.608
JEREMY: Having de-cheesed
my body parts,
03:27.675 --> 03:31.512
we headed out to get
the necessary supplies.
03:31.579 --> 03:33.981
RICHARD:
The thing is, if we go mesh,
03:34.047 --> 03:36.817
it'll keep the sun off
but it won't keep
the light out.
03:36.884 --> 03:39.287
That will wake us up early.
That's 1.5 kilograms. But--
03:39.353 --> 03:43.524
Hammond, the first thing
you need to know before we
start shopping in here
03:43.591 --> 03:46.026
is James and I are in charge.
03:46.093 --> 03:48.028
- RICHARD: Well...
- JAMES: Sorry, he's right.
03:48.095 --> 03:50.163
No, you're not.
You don't know anything
about camping.
03:50.298 --> 03:52.300
- JAMES, JEREMY: Exactly.
- How does that make you
in charge?
03:52.333 --> 03:54.368
Because we know
it's all terrible.
03:54.435 --> 03:58.005
If we leave it to you,
we'll all end up sleeping
in small green triangles.
03:58.071 --> 04:00.441
The camping you know about
is in the Lake District,
04:00.508 --> 04:03.210
where you deliberately
make yourself miserable.
04:03.311 --> 04:04.312
I'm sorry, he's right.
04:04.345 --> 04:07.381
It is possible, I think,
04:07.448 --> 04:09.650
with a bit of ingenuity
and money,
04:09.717 --> 04:11.452
to make tenting bearable.
04:13.086 --> 04:15.689
JEREMY: Richard Baden-Hammond
disagreed,
04:15.756 --> 04:18.492
so we went our separate ways.
04:18.559 --> 04:20.394
Correct, incorrect.
04:20.461 --> 04:22.029
- Exactly.
04:22.095 --> 04:23.797
- But I'd go even
more correct.
- Oh, yes!
04:23.864 --> 04:27.801
Perfect. Roll it out
on the desert floor...
04:29.337 --> 04:30.338
...you're home.
04:30.371 --> 04:32.440
Oh, James! Le Creuset!
04:32.506 --> 04:35.843
See, Hammond would hate this,
because this weighs
more than a tent.
04:35.909 --> 04:38.045
- Which it does, actually.
- A lot more.
04:38.111 --> 04:41.449
- And it weighs more
because it is a quality item.
- Exactly.
04:41.515 --> 04:43.784
Pocket trowel.
04:43.851 --> 04:44.885
Pocket soap.
04:45.953 --> 04:47.355
Here we go.
04:47.355 --> 04:50.424
- Pasta spoon.
- Yeah, good idea.
04:50.491 --> 04:53.461
I find that bottle opener
a bit... lightweight.
04:53.527 --> 04:55.363
Yeah, more expensive
is what we're looking for.
04:55.429 --> 04:57.197
You see, look at this, James.
04:57.264 --> 04:59.833
This is the sort of thing
Hammond would think
is a chair.
04:59.900 --> 05:05.072
Ooh! That's all you need.
That's your whole... stove.
05:05.138 --> 05:06.640
That's it.
05:06.707 --> 05:08.909
It is, isn't it?
- I presume so.
05:08.976 --> 05:12.546
For two, you could get
a small chicken in there,
or... a pheasant.
05:12.613 --> 05:14.548
We're getting there now.
05:16.650 --> 05:18.552
So that folds down to that.
05:22.823 --> 05:23.791
Yeah.
05:26.093 --> 05:28.829
JEREMY: The next morning,
we headed out once more,
05:28.896 --> 05:31.599
with the camping gear
James and I had bought
05:31.665 --> 05:33.066
bringing up the rear.
05:37.004 --> 05:39.440
And besides stocking up
with essentials,
05:39.507 --> 05:45.813
Hammond and I had used
our day off in Windhoek
to modify our cars.
05:45.879 --> 05:49.417
To solve
my overheating problems,
I've fitted a ram-air scoop,
05:49.450 --> 05:54.221
which shovels refreshing,
cooling air into the radiator
as I go along.
05:54.287 --> 05:58.459
And, as you may have noticed,
I've fitted a spoiler.
06:01.895 --> 06:04.732
My only complaint, really,
about my beach buggy
06:04.798 --> 06:07.968
was its lack of performance
in third and fourth gears.
06:08.035 --> 06:10.538
Couldn't up power
from the engine and I don't
want to stress it,
06:10.604 --> 06:12.440
so I could lighten it.
06:12.440 --> 06:15.943
I've stripped away
the superstructure here
and the passenger seat,
06:16.009 --> 06:17.911
anything spare.
06:17.978 --> 06:23.751
That means this car
is 30-40 kilos lighter
than it was before.
06:23.817 --> 06:28.188
Jeremy, why has your car
sprouted a green moustache?
06:28.255 --> 06:31.959
JEREMY: Well, it's a spoiler
for added downforce
at the front end,
06:32.025 --> 06:34.628
which you need
in a rear-engine vehicle.
06:34.695 --> 06:37.831
This thing will be unbelievable
through the corners now,
06:37.898 --> 06:39.066
it really will.
06:39.132 --> 06:40.167
Like a 911.
06:41.535 --> 06:42.836
And I tell you what,
06:42.903 --> 06:44.838
even with your new
lightweight buggy,
06:44.905 --> 06:48.542
you're no match for what
I've got here this morning.
06:48.609 --> 06:51.344
Yeah, I'm sorry, mate.
This is quicker.
06:51.479 --> 06:53.814
- It is not.
- It is.
06:53.881 --> 06:57.084
Right, Richard Hammond,
I challenge you to a race.
06:57.150 --> 06:59.753
OK, you're on. Idiot.
06:59.820 --> 07:02.756
JEREMY: We shall find a race
track and we shall do racing.
07:02.823 --> 07:05.225
Well, you carry on.
I'm not doing any racing.
07:05.292 --> 07:07.495
That's utterly pointless.
07:09.062 --> 07:11.098
JEREMY:
On the outskirts of the city,
07:11.164 --> 07:13.300
we found a rather
excellent circuit
07:13.366 --> 07:15.603
where we could do timed laps,
07:15.669 --> 07:19.006
and James could try out
his new vacuum cleaner.
07:20.207 --> 07:21.509
JAMES: Oh, yes.
07:24.411 --> 07:25.746
- No.
07:25.813 --> 07:28.649
- Temperatures and pressures.
07:28.716 --> 07:30.918
This is a racing machine.
Look at it.
07:30.984 --> 07:33.554
It's a plastic beach buggy
parked near a V8.
07:33.621 --> 07:35.523
- With aero.
07:35.556 --> 07:37.090
- In...
07:37.157 --> 07:39.527
...three, two, one, go!
07:41.662 --> 07:43.163
Yeah,
I'm gonna do it in gear.
07:43.230 --> 07:45.298
- Give it a shot.
- I'm gonna try that.
07:45.365 --> 07:47.100
- In--
- No! Throttle's jammed.
07:48.435 --> 07:50.237
Yes.
07:50.303 --> 07:51.371
- Jammed.
- In--
07:51.438 --> 07:53.340
No! You can keep saying "in"
07:53.406 --> 07:54.875
till the cows come home.
The throttle...
08:00.080 --> 08:02.850
- Three, two, one, begin!
08:10.791 --> 08:12.225
Why... Why have you stopped?
08:12.292 --> 08:13.561
Ah. Well, erm...
08:15.729 --> 08:17.931
The throttle
may have gone a bit open.
08:20.400 --> 08:21.569
Yeah.
08:21.635 --> 08:23.704
My throttle
is totally broken.
08:23.771 --> 08:25.706
- Anyway, Hammond...
08:25.773 --> 08:28.876
Any car which can wheelie
off the line...
08:28.942 --> 08:31.579
is going to be able to beat
yours, and would have done.
08:31.579 --> 08:32.980
So... Sorry.
08:33.046 --> 08:34.748
You're saying
because your car started,
08:34.815 --> 08:36.684
well, 50 yards away
over there,
08:36.750 --> 08:38.719
wheelied, was uncontrollable,
slammed back down
08:38.786 --> 08:40.954
and broke itself,
it's the best on the track?
08:41.021 --> 08:42.389
JEREMY: Yes.
08:42.455 --> 08:45.258
Well, much learned.
Really useful.
Glad we did it.
08:47.695 --> 08:52.399
RICHARD: With Jeremy's
endlessly troublesome car
fixed again,
08:52.465 --> 08:56.069
we scooped up James' Dyson
and continued northwards
08:56.136 --> 08:59.640
towards the finish line
at the border with Angola.
09:02.610 --> 09:06.847
The going was smooth and easy
and eerily quiet,
09:06.914 --> 09:09.249
which begged a question.
09:09.316 --> 09:14.321
Now, apparently, Namibia
is the most dangerous place
in the world to drive.
09:14.387 --> 09:16.890
There are more accidents
per head then anywhere else,
09:16.957 --> 09:19.727
and car accidents are
the first
09:19.793 --> 09:23.130
and most common cause
of death in young adults.
09:24.364 --> 09:26.499
How
09:26.634 --> 09:28.936
I mean... the place is empty.
09:32.640 --> 09:38.779
In Britain,
there are 250-260 people
for every square kilometre.
09:38.846 --> 09:41.114
Here... it's two.
09:42.182 --> 09:44.051
Two!
09:44.117 --> 09:47.320
This makes the Australian
outback look like Monaco.
09:47.387 --> 09:49.857
Monkey! Monkey!
09:49.923 --> 09:53.060
Huge anus! Did you see
that thing's anus?
09:55.829 --> 09:57.497
JAMES:
I, however, was not thinking
09:57.564 --> 10:00.834
about population statistics
or monkeys' bottoms.
10:00.901 --> 10:03.737
I was just happy
to be on a smooth surface
10:03.804 --> 10:07.040
in a car that wasn't filled
with dust.
10:07.107 --> 10:08.642
I shall relax...
10:10.410 --> 10:11.979
...with the lovely view.
10:13.213 --> 10:16.616
Sadly, though,
a few miles later...
10:19.319 --> 10:21.588
Ow! Ow! Oh, my nuts! Ow!
10:25.558 --> 10:27.060
Stop it!
10:27.127 --> 10:28.595
Ow! Ow! Agh!
10:28.662 --> 10:30.230
James May?
10:30.297 --> 10:32.900
Yes, I can hear you,
but it's very uncomfortable
10:32.966 --> 10:35.102
and my car has...
has cut out.
10:41.809 --> 10:43.143
JAMES: Ow!
10:43.210 --> 10:45.212
JEREMY:
Mercifully for James,
10:45.278 --> 10:47.214
we eventually arrived
at a game reserve,
10:47.280 --> 10:50.050
which we decided
would be an ideal place
10:50.117 --> 10:53.053
to set up camp
for the night.
10:53.120 --> 10:55.322
- RICHARD: Right.
10:59.259 --> 11:00.527
That's what we need.
11:00.728 --> 11:03.864
JEREMY: As Hammond
built his canvas hovel...
11:07.067 --> 11:10.771
...James and I were looking
forward to a more civilised
evening
11:10.838 --> 11:12.139
in the tents we'd bought,
11:12.205 --> 11:14.007
and which had been erected
11:14.074 --> 11:16.844
by the butler
we'd also bought.
11:16.910 --> 11:19.747
JAMES:
Thank you, Giovanni.
11:19.780 --> 11:23.751
Tuck your shirt in, man!
It's not a bloody caravan site.
11:23.784 --> 11:26.219
Erm...
I'm just thinking, dinner.
11:26.286 --> 11:28.221
Mm. Do you mind
if I get changed?
11:28.288 --> 11:30.991
- No, exactly.
I'm gonna have a shower.
- Mm.
11:31.058 --> 11:33.794
- Or I may have
a bath, actually.
11:33.861 --> 11:36.163
Giovanni,
could you run the baths?
11:45.906 --> 11:47.775
JEREMY: Apparently,
this place has got oysters.
11:47.775 --> 11:50.510
Here?
- Yeah. I know,
it's extraordinary.
11:50.577 --> 11:51.945
Who knew?
11:52.012 --> 11:53.881
Are you coming
for some dinner?
11:53.947 --> 11:56.316
RICHARD: What do you mean,
"Coming for dinner"?
I'm cooking here.
11:56.383 --> 11:57.785
There's a restaurant
just down there.
11:57.818 --> 11:59.252
- Yeah, just down there.
11:59.319 --> 12:01.221
I don't want to go.
12:01.288 --> 12:02.990
I'm cooking this.
I'm doing it properly, camping.
12:03.056 --> 12:04.691
- Well, come and--
- I'll join you after dinner.
12:04.792 --> 12:06.126
JEREMY: Whatever.
12:06.193 --> 12:07.560
JAMES: He's such a peasant,
isn't he?
12:07.627 --> 12:09.029
JEREMY:
It's just unbelievable.
12:10.597 --> 12:11.932
JEREMY: That evening
in the restaurant,
12:11.999 --> 12:13.967
Hammond never did join us.
12:14.034 --> 12:17.370
But James and I were not
short of company.
12:17.437 --> 12:21.141
Oh, look, there's rhinos!
There's actual rhinos!
12:21.208 --> 12:23.676
And they've been dehorned.
12:23.811 --> 12:24.812
They've had to take
its horn out
12:24.878 --> 12:27.047
to stop poachers shooting it.
12:27.114 --> 12:29.950
But you know what
the poachers are doing?
12:30.017 --> 12:31.551
They shoot the dehorned ones,
12:31.618 --> 12:34.855
because if they track for
a couple of days, a rhino,
12:34.922 --> 12:36.656
and then it's got no horn,
they shoot it,
12:36.723 --> 12:40.193
and then they'll never
track it again,
so it saves time.
12:40.260 --> 12:42.930
Do you know how much you get
for a rhino horn now?
12:42.996 --> 12:45.598
- Yeah, in Vietnam.
12:45.665 --> 12:46.834
I'm guessing it's a lot.
12:46.867 --> 12:49.636
$320,000.
12:49.702 --> 12:52.339
- So that's more expensive
than gold.
- Good God.
12:52.405 --> 12:56.109
Even the nub that's left
that he's got is still worth,
12:56.176 --> 12:57.710
I don't know,
thousands of dollars.
12:57.845 --> 12:59.913
I was gonna say, no matter
how carefully you dehorn it,
12:59.980 --> 13:03.016
there's still horn
going down into its nose.
13:03.083 --> 13:07.254
- JEREMY: That's such
a tragedy, that, you know.
- JAMES: Yeah.
13:07.320 --> 13:09.489
I want to do something
about this while we're here.
13:09.556 --> 13:11.424
I'm sure we could come up
with something.
13:12.893 --> 13:14.427
I'm sure we could.
13:15.863 --> 13:17.197
**
13:25.205 --> 13:28.708
RICHARD:
The next morning, I woke
to find I'd been recruited
13:28.775 --> 13:33.446
into the Clarkson and May
Rhino Protection Squad.
13:33.513 --> 13:35.715
They were even convinced
that our beach buggies
13:35.782 --> 13:40.587
would be ideal
for tracking the poachers.
13:40.653 --> 13:43.756
I can't deny,
they do have a point
about the whole rhino thing.
13:43.891 --> 13:45.358
It is ridiculous.
13:45.425 --> 13:48.761
Two rhinos killed every day
in Africa by poachers,
13:48.896 --> 13:53.566
and then sold to a market
that believes it's a cure
for cancer,
13:53.633 --> 13:55.568
impotence, even hangovers.
13:57.037 --> 13:59.472
But are we necessarily
the right men
13:59.539 --> 14:02.609
to tackle it head-on
in the field?
14:04.344 --> 14:06.279
Ow!
14:06.346 --> 14:09.216
Wouldn't we be better just
popping a £1 coin in a jar
14:09.282 --> 14:13.486
and letting somebody who
knows what they're doing
solve it?
14:13.553 --> 14:15.288
Well, I've got
a tranquilizer gun
14:15.355 --> 14:17.925
from the place where
we were last night, but...
14:19.459 --> 14:21.128
...I can't see anyone
to shoot.
14:24.965 --> 14:28.635
JEREMY: Figuring
that the poachers probably
didn't use the main road,
14:28.701 --> 14:31.838
we went off
to look in the bush.
14:31.939 --> 14:33.606
JAMES:
What about over there?
14:35.976 --> 14:37.410
RICHARD:
No poachers.
14:39.646 --> 14:40.981
Tyre marks.
14:41.048 --> 14:43.583
It may be some poacher.
14:43.650 --> 14:44.784
Oh, no, wait.
14:44.851 --> 14:47.087
BF Goodriches.
This is James May.
14:50.190 --> 14:52.359
RICHARD:
Just so you know,
this is stupid.
14:52.425 --> 14:54.427
JEREMY:
What's stupid?
14:54.494 --> 14:56.729
RICHARD: How would you
recognise a poacher
when you saw one?
14:56.796 --> 15:00.167
- And when you find one,
what are you gonna do?
- Shoot him.
15:00.233 --> 15:01.969
All we're doing
on our journey
15:02.002 --> 15:04.737
is driving
three beach buggies
to the Angolan border.
15:04.804 --> 15:06.773
- Yeah.
- Which doesn't further
the cause of humanity.
15:06.839 --> 15:08.508
- JAMES: Exactly.
- RICHARD: And this does,
does it?
15:08.575 --> 15:12.745
We've got a day, Hammond.
Give us 24 hours.
15:12.812 --> 15:16.516
24 hours. Then, I promise,
we'll get back on the road.
15:20.787 --> 15:23.690
JEREMY: Once our sceptical
colleague had agreed,
15:23.756 --> 15:25.725
I decided to change tack,
15:25.792 --> 15:29.196
abandon the cars
and search from the air,
15:29.262 --> 15:32.699
using some beach-front
parasailing equipment.
15:36.403 --> 15:39.272
If we don't make it,
please know that I hate you.
15:39.339 --> 15:42.642
There's not a breath of wind,
so don't be stupid.
15:44.011 --> 15:45.612
Oh, my parachute's been...
15:47.014 --> 15:49.016
- Oh, hello!
- RICHARD: Goodbye.
15:49.049 --> 15:51.484
- RICHARD: Shit!
15:55.022 --> 15:57.390
RICHARD:
That's not worked at all.
15:57.457 --> 15:59.926
JEREMY: OK. Right,
I'm not gonna do that.
16:00.027 --> 16:03.396
Clearly, my solution
was too dangerous for us,
16:03.463 --> 16:06.099
so we sent Giovanni up
instead.
16:08.535 --> 16:10.637
Look, he's going over there.
He's gonna crash and die.
16:10.703 --> 16:14.041
- No, he's been blown
a bit sideways but--
- And downwards.
16:16.709 --> 16:18.345
He didn't sign up for this,
did he?
16:20.313 --> 16:23.150
JEREMY: Giovanni failed
to spot any poachers,
16:23.216 --> 16:25.252
so we told him
to stop messing about
16:25.318 --> 16:27.920
and get back to camp
to pour some drinks,
16:28.055 --> 16:31.091
whilst we had a rethink.
16:31.158 --> 16:33.960
Everything we've tried
has gone wrong.
16:34.061 --> 16:36.563
So let's accept it now
and move on.
16:36.629 --> 16:37.964
We can go.
16:38.065 --> 16:39.366
No.
16:39.432 --> 16:43.536
I think the poachers
only go out at night.
16:43.603 --> 16:45.072
Oh, for God's sake.
16:45.105 --> 16:46.739
We'll let the sun set,
16:46.806 --> 16:48.608
get some tactical kit.
16:48.675 --> 16:51.811
- Rifles.
- Come on, Hammond.
16:51.878 --> 16:54.481
You gave us 24 hours before
you took our guns and badges.
16:54.547 --> 16:56.416
- JAMES: He did.
- RICHARD: OK.
16:56.483 --> 17:00.387
I think a couple more beers,
head out there.
17:00.453 --> 17:01.921
I agree.
17:01.988 --> 17:03.756
- Let it get dark.
Be patient.
- JEREMY: Yes.
17:03.823 --> 17:06.359
- Hunters are patient,
aren't they?
- Exactly.
17:11.731 --> 17:13.700
JEREMY:
Once darkness had fallen,
17:13.766 --> 17:15.102
we got kitted out
17:15.102 --> 17:17.204
with tranquilizer guns
and tactical kit
17:17.270 --> 17:18.805
and headed
back into the bush
17:18.871 --> 17:23.543
with a very unsure
Richard in tow.
17:23.610 --> 17:25.478
I mean,
I'd like to stop poachers,
17:25.545 --> 17:30.117
but out here at night, what
is the poacher
17:30.183 --> 17:32.119
What am I more likely
to find?
17:35.722 --> 17:38.691
JEREMY: What you have to do
is look for rhino tracks,
17:38.758 --> 17:42.162
cos that's what the poachers
will be following.
17:57.510 --> 18:00.813
Literally the most manly
thing I've ever done.
18:00.880 --> 18:03.916
Grand Tour for men,
splashing all over.
18:03.983 --> 18:05.485
- RICHARD: Ow!
18:05.552 --> 18:08.855
- JEREMY: Bloody hell!
- RICHARD: You stupid bastards!
18:08.921 --> 18:11.023
Someone's shot me!
18:11.158 --> 18:13.059
RICHARD:
Hammond
18:13.160 --> 18:14.427
Hammond?
18:14.494 --> 18:16.329
JAMES:
Clarkson, you moron.
18:16.396 --> 18:17.697
JEREMY:
Hammond?
18:28.308 --> 18:30.177
Right, well,
I have to be honest,
18:30.243 --> 18:32.379
yesterday was
a total waste of time.
18:32.445 --> 18:34.514
We achieved nothing.
18:34.581 --> 18:38.551
All we did achieve was
we seem to have wounded
Mr Hammond,
18:38.618 --> 18:41.654
who er... well,
we couldn't wake him up
this morning at all.
18:41.721 --> 18:44.757
And because
we needed to get going,
we've a long way to go,
18:44.824 --> 18:46.359
we've had to improvise.
18:56.936 --> 18:58.871
Aaargh!
19:01.508 --> 19:03.376
What the ?
19:04.244 --> 19:06.846
What the is this?
19:06.913 --> 19:08.548
You bastards!
19:13.653 --> 19:14.954
JEREMY:
Back on the ground,
19:15.021 --> 19:18.258
James and I had
our own problems.
19:18.325 --> 19:20.360
- Oh, God!
19:21.261 --> 19:23.396
Ow! Ow!
19:27.967 --> 19:29.902
This is very good
for the gravel rash
19:29.969 --> 19:34.073
that I got... during my
parachute accident yesterday.
19:34.140 --> 19:35.742
Oh, that hurts.
19:38.778 --> 19:41.147
What we could really do with
is a rain shower
19:41.248 --> 19:43.550
to dampen this dust down.
19:43.616 --> 19:45.718
JAMES:
I think it's unlikely.
19:45.785 --> 19:49.456
Yeah, there's no evidence
that rain is on its way,
I would say.
19:51.057 --> 19:53.693
JEREMY: Soon,
word came over the radio
19:53.760 --> 19:56.396
that Hammond was on his way
to rejoin us...
19:57.930 --> 20:01.334
...and that he wasn't
in the best of moods.
20:01.401 --> 20:03.603
What was that?
20:04.604 --> 20:06.973
What was that about?
20:07.039 --> 20:09.642
- We didn't want
to leave you behind.
- You wouldn't wake up.
20:09.709 --> 20:11.478
No, obviously, you didn't
want to leave me behind,
20:11.544 --> 20:13.079
so you did the logical thing,
20:13.145 --> 20:15.648
which is suspend me from
a helicopter whilst asleep.
20:15.715 --> 20:18.285
- Yes.
- Most people would arrive
at the same conclusion.
20:18.351 --> 20:20.587
No, you didn't!
You were having a laugh!
20:20.653 --> 20:22.655
Do you realise how rough
the first road was
20:22.722 --> 20:24.457
that you haven't had
to drive on?
20:24.524 --> 20:26.626
And you got a helicopter
ride, which we haven't had.
20:26.693 --> 20:28.761
You wouldn't be laughing
and sniggering so much
20:28.828 --> 20:31.398
if I'd fallen out of that
thing, as I could have done.
20:31.464 --> 20:33.132
Well, it wouldn't be funny.
20:33.199 --> 20:34.434
No, it just wouldn't be
interesting.
20:40.440 --> 20:42.642
JEREMY: With the
rhino fiasco behind us,
20:42.709 --> 20:44.811
we got back to
the job in hand...
20:46.513 --> 20:48.781
...which was to reach
the Angolan border,
20:48.848 --> 20:50.783
and therefore prove that
beach buggies
20:50.850 --> 20:53.185
are brilliant
go-anywhere machines
20:53.252 --> 20:55.588
and not just frivolous toys.
20:57.790 --> 21:01.994
Today, however, that theory
would be seriously tested.
21:05.332 --> 21:07.334
Oh, for God's sake!
21:09.969 --> 21:11.338
Ow!
21:13.973 --> 21:15.375
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
21:17.977 --> 21:21.047
Ow! Christ on a bike!
21:21.113 --> 21:24.917
I hate to admit this,
but I'm jealous of Hammond.
21:24.984 --> 21:29.121
I wish I'd fitted
that suspension on my car.
21:29.188 --> 21:33.793
How is this car gonna stand up
to this punishment all day?
21:35.962 --> 21:38.498
Well, since it had been
designed by me
21:38.565 --> 21:41.133
and made from
40-year-old components,
21:41.200 --> 21:43.936
the answer
was depressingly predictable.
21:46.373 --> 21:49.809
The alternator, as you can
see, has come off its hinge.
21:49.876 --> 21:52.979
The bolt's supposed to go in
there and it's just come off.
21:53.045 --> 21:56.883
And the bolt, well,
that's somewhere back there,
100 miles.
22:04.591 --> 22:07.226
So, my alternator is now
held on with a screwdriver
22:07.293 --> 22:09.496
that I've hammered
into place.
22:10.497 --> 22:11.964
And we're running well.
22:16.636 --> 22:19.572
Oh. I don't know what
I'm gonna do about it,
22:19.639 --> 22:21.908
but I don't have
a fan belt on there.
22:25.111 --> 22:27.179
I've got a problem.
22:27.246 --> 22:31.618
Another five miles,
another fan belt.
22:31.684 --> 22:33.920
I'm gonna need
a pair of tights.
22:36.122 --> 22:38.658
And it wasn't just me.
22:38.725 --> 22:42.094
I've been through
all of that, all of that,
the ignition cut-out switch.
22:42.161 --> 22:44.096
I've got some weird gremlin.
22:44.163 --> 22:47.434
JEREMY: This road is just
shaking these cars to pieces.
22:50.770 --> 22:53.440
JAMES: Naturally, Jeremy
decided that the only way
22:53.473 --> 22:55.442
of keeping his car
in one piece
22:55.442 --> 22:58.210
was to drive very quickly.
22:58.277 --> 23:02.281
My optimum speed
is 2,800 rpm,
23:02.348 --> 23:04.651
that being my only dial,
really.
23:04.717 --> 23:07.720
That way, I'm skipping
over the top of the ridges.
23:09.255 --> 23:11.524
Unfortunately, at this speed,
23:11.591 --> 23:13.860
my V8 was emptying
the petrol tank
23:13.926 --> 23:16.128
every 31 miles.
23:16.195 --> 23:19.466
And one of the items
we'd forgotten to buy
at the camping shop
23:19.532 --> 23:21.801
was a funnel.
23:21.868 --> 23:24.771
Right, wind's dropped.
Here we go.
23:24.837 --> 23:25.805
Drink!
23:27.273 --> 23:29.476
This is completely safe.
23:29.509 --> 23:32.479
Some of the petrol is...
Oh, my giddy aunt!
23:37.383 --> 23:39.952
The roads are getting worse.
23:40.019 --> 23:43.089
Even though
the going was appalling...
23:46.258 --> 23:48.227
...the beach buggies,
amazingly,
23:48.294 --> 23:51.598
were, more or less,
still in one piece.
23:53.099 --> 23:55.835
However, as the relentless
pounding wore on,
23:55.902 --> 23:59.005
the same could not be said
of James.
23:59.071 --> 24:00.873
Agh!
24:04.243 --> 24:05.812
Oh, my God!
24:07.980 --> 24:10.517
Honestly, my bones
are going to shatter.
24:23.095 --> 24:24.531
I've had enough of this.
24:27.233 --> 24:30.436
What I'm doing is
I'm trying to soften up
the front suspension,
24:30.537 --> 24:32.404
and I'm gonna soften
the tyres as well.
24:32.539 --> 24:34.073
I've done quite
a bit under here.
24:34.140 --> 24:37.043
Now I'm going to let a bit
of air out of the tyres.
24:38.945 --> 24:41.614
JAMES:
This made a huge difference.
24:48.354 --> 24:49.889
This is rubbish!
24:52.559 --> 24:53.793
Stop!
24:56.629 --> 24:58.297
But it didn't stop.
24:58.364 --> 24:59.666
It went on...
25:01.200 --> 25:02.168
...and on.
25:03.670 --> 25:06.573
That day, I did 350 miles,
25:06.606 --> 25:09.776
and every single one of them
was filled with pain,
25:09.842 --> 25:11.811
dust and misery.
25:16.583 --> 25:18.450
And that's why ,
the following morning,
25:18.585 --> 25:21.688
I came up with
a radical plan.
25:21.754 --> 25:26.025
Don't drive on the road,
drive near it.
25:26.092 --> 25:27.694
I did a bit alongside
the road.
25:27.760 --> 25:29.696
Admittedly
only half a kilometre,
25:29.762 --> 25:31.397
but it was bliss
by comparison.
25:31.463 --> 25:33.900
It was like driving on
a freshly resurfaced
Silverstone.
25:33.966 --> 25:36.135
We don't have to stray
miles from it.
25:36.202 --> 25:38.838
I agree, that would be
foolish, cos we could just
end up as skeletons.
25:38.905 --> 25:41.608
But, honestly,
it's agony in mine.
25:41.641 --> 25:45.277
I've got neck ache, headache.
I hate it.
25:45.344 --> 25:48.480
Right, I tell you what,
Hammond. I tell you
why I like his idea.
25:48.615 --> 25:53.185
If it is smooth off-road,
it's more comfortable for us.
25:53.252 --> 25:57.156
If it's hopeless out there,
we can blame him.
25:57.223 --> 25:58.190
Fair enough.
26:02.128 --> 26:03.730
JEREMY: With that settled,
we left the road
26:03.796 --> 26:06.966
and set out on Highway May.
26:10.302 --> 26:14.506
I'll give James one thing,
it is smoother than the road,
26:14.641 --> 26:17.944
but I am doing 3 mph.
26:18.010 --> 26:19.846
I mean, yeah,
I like off-roading, I do,
26:19.912 --> 26:24.050
but... this isn't exactly
quicker, is it?
26:24.116 --> 26:26.018
JEREMY:
Sadly, a short while later,
26:26.085 --> 26:29.021
we didn't even have smooth
going for us.
26:30.923 --> 26:32.324
Ow!
26:32.391 --> 26:33.793
Ow! Ow! Ow!
26:33.860 --> 26:35.662
Oh, spiffing.
26:37.930 --> 26:40.232
James, I hope
you're happy with this.
26:40.299 --> 26:43.736
How bad must it have been
for him if this is better?
26:47.039 --> 26:51.043
Oh, God al-bloody-mighty!
What an idiot that man is!
26:51.110 --> 26:53.445
Yeah,
this is a lot less bumpy.
26:53.512 --> 26:54.747
Oh, Christ!
26:57.016 --> 26:58.517
Jesus!
26:58.584 --> 27:00.052
Is this better
27:03.690 --> 27:05.357
Stop moaning!
27:08.761 --> 27:13.465
JEREMY: Hammond, my entire
throttle assembly has
disintegrated.
27:13.532 --> 27:16.168
RICHARD: I can't see why.
I'm sure this is all
helping it.
27:16.235 --> 27:18.104
JEREMY: Perfectly
all right on the road.
27:18.170 --> 27:19.706
Yeah, I don't know why
more people
27:19.706 --> 27:22.709
don't drive their cars
on the road.
27:22.775 --> 27:25.211
Stop blaming your failures
on the scenery.
27:26.145 --> 27:28.715
Every bone in his crotch...
27:28.748 --> 27:30.416
that's what I'm gonna break.
27:30.482 --> 27:32.919
Every single one of them.
27:32.985 --> 27:35.421
And then,
if it were at all possible,
27:35.487 --> 27:37.990
May Tours got even worse.
27:39.859 --> 27:43.029
Oh! Oh, God! The dust! Agh!
27:43.095 --> 27:47.900
What is this Star Trek
special effect we've
arrived in?
27:50.136 --> 27:51.237
Oh, my God!
27:53.740 --> 27:57.009
I am swimming through dust.
I'm actually swimming in it.
27:59.746 --> 28:01.513
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
28:01.580 --> 28:04.817
JAMES: We had driven into
something called fesh fesh,
28:04.884 --> 28:07.754
a sand as fine
as talcum powder.
28:07.787 --> 28:09.756
Oh, shite!
28:09.822 --> 28:13.292
And this had made Ali G
even more cross.
28:15.962 --> 28:18.765
I can't see a bloody thing
now. I've got to...
28:18.798 --> 28:21.801
I can't even find James May
to kill him.
28:26.372 --> 28:30.142
JEREMY:
OK, the engine's boiling
and I'm stuck.
28:30.209 --> 28:32.411
All my electrics
have gone haywire
28:32.478 --> 28:34.981
My... It's still trying
to turn the motor over.
The battery's dead.
28:35.047 --> 28:36.783
Are you stuck, James?
28:36.816 --> 28:38.985
Er...
28:40.953 --> 28:42.588
I think I'm stuck.
28:42.654 --> 28:44.690
Well done, James.
28:44.791 --> 28:46.492
Improved our lot no end.
28:46.558 --> 28:48.294
So the situation is...
28:48.360 --> 28:50.930
Hammond has broken his car,
you're stuck,
28:50.997 --> 28:53.065
and mine's overheated.
28:53.132 --> 28:56.969
Are we going to say, James,
that your idea was stupid?
28:58.370 --> 28:59.471
It was stupid.
29:03.009 --> 29:06.078
JEREMY:
With even Sergeant Stubborn
admitting defeat,
29:06.145 --> 29:08.414
it was time
to throw in the towel.
29:08.480 --> 29:12.518
So we got ourselves sorted
out, got a wash in the river
29:12.584 --> 29:16.388
and headed back to the road.
29:16.455 --> 29:19.291
There you go.
Freshly ironed linen shirt
29:19.358 --> 29:23.830
with epaulettes
that matches my beach buggy.
29:23.830 --> 29:25.297
Ironed by Giovanni.
29:28.534 --> 29:30.002
Despite everything,
29:30.069 --> 29:33.639
our beach buggies
had covered 750 miles
29:33.705 --> 29:35.842
of our 1,000-mile journey,
29:35.908 --> 29:38.510
and we were now well
into the tribal regions
29:38.577 --> 29:40.112
of northern Namibia...
29:41.848 --> 29:44.350
...which is
picture-book Africa.
29:46.853 --> 29:49.856
Well, this is all a bit
too beautiful for words
along here.
29:49.889 --> 29:51.891
Look at this.
29:51.958 --> 29:53.993
Tribal Namibia, I like it.
30:01.868 --> 30:04.336
Where we are now,
it's genuinely...
30:04.403 --> 30:08.374
Well, what would you say,
"unspoiled"? Yeah.
30:08.440 --> 30:10.709
People do live the lives
30:10.776 --> 30:13.145
they've led here
for thousands of years.
30:16.248 --> 30:17.016
Oh, no!
30:17.083 --> 30:20.853
Oh, no! I'm dying!
30:20.920 --> 30:23.589
Annoyingly,
the James May excursion
30:23.655 --> 30:26.325
had caused more damage
than I'd realised.
30:27.293 --> 30:29.929
Oh, now this is stuck on.
30:29.996 --> 30:31.663
Oh, bugger.
30:31.730 --> 30:34.800
Then, instead of the
breakdown-recovery service,
30:34.867 --> 30:37.403
some topless ladies
arrived...
30:39.305 --> 30:40.772
RICHARD: Hello.
30:40.839 --> 30:44.710
...which made knowing where
to look a bit difficult.
30:44.776 --> 30:45.945
Oh!
30:50.116 --> 30:52.018
Erm... Concentrate
on the job, Richard.
30:54.353 --> 30:56.455
This is unusual.
30:56.522 --> 30:58.524
I mean, normally
the AA would have done.
31:00.592 --> 31:01.627
Thank you!
31:02.962 --> 31:04.396
Very good.
31:04.463 --> 31:07.266
- Oh, there's more.
31:14.240 --> 31:19.211
JEREMY:
I, too, was nursing wounds
as a result of May Tours.
31:19.278 --> 31:20.846
I do seem to have lost...
31:22.548 --> 31:24.150
...one of my cylinders
somehow.
31:24.216 --> 31:25.952
I'm driving a V7.
31:28.254 --> 31:31.723
Basically, this is now
Spitty Spitty Bang Bang.
31:31.790 --> 31:34.826
So, at the lunch stop,
Richard and I decided
31:34.961 --> 31:36.963
to get our revenge
on Mr May.
31:47.006 --> 31:48.607
Clarkson!
31:48.674 --> 31:49.976
What?
31:49.976 --> 31:51.643
You've put... Where's...
31:51.710 --> 31:54.146
That is disturbing.
31:54.213 --> 31:55.982
What's annoying is,
what have you done
31:55.982 --> 31:58.150
with my original
vintage VW gear knob?
31:58.217 --> 32:00.352
Ah, well, no,
good news on that.
32:00.419 --> 32:02.554
Giovanni has posted
your original gear lever
32:02.621 --> 32:04.023
back to your address
in London.
32:04.090 --> 32:05.691
- RICHARD: Special delivery.
32:05.757 --> 32:08.995
What is the matter with you?
That's really offensive.
32:08.995 --> 32:11.497
Well, I think that's
a bit sexist.
32:11.563 --> 32:14.366
No, it's not.
Why would I want to drive
with a rubber penis?
32:14.433 --> 32:16.502
I don't know.
I think you're weird.
32:22.008 --> 32:26.612
RICHARD: With our break over,
we got back on the road.
32:26.678 --> 32:30.082
For our American viewers,
James May is driving
a dick-shift.
32:33.452 --> 32:35.387
And it wasn't
just James's knob
32:35.454 --> 32:37.323
that was keeping us amused.
32:37.389 --> 32:39.591
There was something else
we'd learned over lunch
32:39.658 --> 32:41.760
that was even funnier.
32:41.827 --> 32:45.264
James May's fuel tank has
a hole in it, or it's split.
32:46.165 --> 32:48.034
He's driving a bomb.
32:50.236 --> 32:51.937
It's a tense moment, this.
32:52.038 --> 32:54.806
It's like the end of a
football match when it's 1-1.
32:54.873 --> 32:56.942
You're driving along,
you know he's gonna blow up,
32:57.043 --> 32:59.378
you just don't know when.
32:59.445 --> 33:01.347
RICHARD: It's not gonna
read well in the papers.
33:01.413 --> 33:05.284
"James May died
in an exploding beach buggy,
holding a rubber penis."
33:06.552 --> 33:08.520
Oh, shut up!
33:08.587 --> 33:09.688
Jeez!
33:15.361 --> 33:17.063
JAMES: Oh! In the face!
33:20.799 --> 33:23.535
JEREMY: Once James's
fuel tank had run low enough,
33:23.602 --> 33:25.337
we pulled over
in a small village
33:25.404 --> 33:27.706
so he could make
some repairs.
33:30.842 --> 33:34.580
Well, the wind's blowing
that way, so the fireball
will go up there.
33:34.646 --> 33:36.982
It'll be sudden, won't it,
when he goes?
33:37.083 --> 33:38.150
Yeah. It's "woompf."
33:38.217 --> 33:39.385
"Woompf,"
then a bit of quiet,
33:39.451 --> 33:41.120
and then...
as all bits come down.
33:41.187 --> 33:42.854
JEREMY: Yes.
33:42.921 --> 33:45.091
Here's the split
in the tank.
33:45.157 --> 33:47.826
- Apply this.
- Oh, hello!
33:47.893 --> 33:50.696
You know we've been saying how
bad the roads are, Hammond?
33:50.762 --> 33:52.331
Yes.
33:52.398 --> 33:55.734
They're bad enough to kill
an un-killable car.
33:55.801 --> 33:57.669
That's kind of
a terrifying sight,
isn't it?
33:57.736 --> 34:02.108
I know. I've never seen that
before in my life.
34:02.141 --> 34:04.810
A dead Toyota pickup truck.
34:06.612 --> 34:08.514
JEREMY:
With James's tank bodged,
34:08.580 --> 34:11.483
we knuckled down to getting
some miles under our belt.
34:14.420 --> 34:16.288
And for the rest of the day,
34:16.355 --> 34:19.658
the only person
with petrol issues was me.
34:24.930 --> 34:29.135
Right. Refuelled,
so I'm good now for 31 miles.
34:32.471 --> 34:35.207
By the end of the day,
we'd made good progress.
34:35.274 --> 34:37.143
And when we stopped
to make camp...
34:37.143 --> 34:39.978
Where the bloody hell's
Giovanni?
34:40.045 --> 34:43.515
...we were less than 100
miles from the finish line.
34:43.582 --> 34:46.285
So, after supper, we decided
to have a conversation -
34:46.352 --> 34:47.886
well, argument -
34:47.953 --> 34:51.523
about who'd built
the best beach buggy.
34:51.590 --> 34:55.661
The point is,
yours isn't a beach buggy.
34:55.727 --> 34:56.995
- Yeah.
34:57.062 --> 34:58.530
Apart from having
a beach buggy's body
34:58.597 --> 35:01.167
and the beating,
pulsating heart
of a beach buggy,
35:01.233 --> 35:02.501
namely a Beetle engine.
35:02.568 --> 35:04.236
I look at yours and go,
35:04.303 --> 35:05.971
"That doesn't even look
like a beach buggy."
35:06.037 --> 35:08.274
It does and it is!
It's a beach buggy.
35:08.340 --> 35:10.309
Enhanced, but in the spirit
of beach buggying.
35:10.376 --> 35:13.912
- It isn't.
- Jeremy, yours is... a freak.
35:13.979 --> 35:17.048
Had it existed 100 years ago,
it would have been exhibited.
35:17.183 --> 35:20.819
People would come from miles
and children would peak at it
through curtains.
35:20.886 --> 35:22.388
"Oh, look at the monster!"
35:22.454 --> 35:23.589
The point is,
I have always loved
35:23.655 --> 35:25.257
the spirit of the beach buggy.
35:25.324 --> 35:27.926
I love the era that
created it and all of that.
35:27.993 --> 35:30.329
But the one thing
that's made me not like it
35:30.396 --> 35:32.864
is the engine reminds me
of Hitler.
35:32.931 --> 35:37.203
I have removed all of that
Hitler DNA from mine,
35:37.236 --> 35:39.205
fitted a bloody great V8.
35:39.205 --> 35:41.440
It's gone too far.
35:41.507 --> 35:44.476
- It's Frankenstein's buggy.
- JAMES: I can settle this.
35:44.543 --> 35:46.878
- Yours isn't
a proper beach buggy.
- It isn't.
35:46.945 --> 35:49.748
- But it's more of
a beach buggy than yours.
- Oh, rubbish!
35:49.815 --> 35:52.384
Because the true spirit
of the beach buggy
35:52.451 --> 35:54.386
is the Beetle floorpan
and engine, which his has.
35:54.453 --> 35:55.487
Yours doesn't have
the engine.
35:55.554 --> 35:56.588
Mine actually has everything.
35:56.655 --> 35:58.390
Mine is the proper beach buggy.
35:58.457 --> 36:00.459
- I'm sorry about this,
James, but...
- You're not.
36:00.526 --> 36:02.428
...your car was created
36:02.494 --> 36:04.630
by the swinging '60s
and endorsed by Steve McQueen,
36:04.696 --> 36:07.299
one of the coolest people
who ever lived,
36:07.366 --> 36:09.401
and yet, somehow,
you have managed
36:09.468 --> 36:11.237
to make
your beach buggy boring.
36:11.270 --> 36:12.904
- Rubbish
- It is a bit.
36:12.971 --> 36:15.073
- It is boring.
- It's a boring
firework display.
36:15.140 --> 36:18.344
- It is.
- It's boring
in that it works.
36:18.410 --> 36:19.678
- No, James.
- It doesn't work!
36:19.745 --> 36:21.380
The only thing
that has gone wrong
36:21.447 --> 36:23.515
is a small leak
in the petrol tank.
36:23.582 --> 36:25.584
Everything else about it
has constantly worked.
36:25.651 --> 36:27.519
Do you know, every time
I've overtaken you,
36:27.586 --> 36:29.321
I've looked and thought, "That's
dismal."
36:29.388 --> 36:31.623
It isn't. It has an elegance
and a purity.
36:31.690 --> 36:33.825
And when you say,
"You've never come past me,"
36:33.892 --> 36:37.062
I come past you
every 30 miles because
you've run out of fuel.
36:37.128 --> 36:41.400
It wheelies, the throttle
sticks, the alternator falls
off, bolts fall out of it.
36:41.467 --> 36:45.271
- It... The alternator...
- You've had to fit a wing
on it, which ruins the looks.
36:45.304 --> 36:47.038
It's not in the spirit
of the beach buggy,
36:47.105 --> 36:50.309
but of a man
desperately trying
to justify a terrible idea.
36:50.376 --> 36:52.744
- It was a brilliant idea!
- It doesn't work!
36:52.811 --> 36:54.380
I'm fairly conscious
right now
36:54.446 --> 36:56.515
your car is drinking the fuel
out of mine
36:56.582 --> 36:58.450
like a sort of
plastic vampire.
36:58.517 --> 37:00.986
Look, mine has been thirsty.
37:01.052 --> 37:02.488
- Yes.
37:02.554 --> 37:04.122
JAMES: We continued arguing
37:04.189 --> 37:08.059
until Giovanni reminded us
it was time to go to bed.
37:08.126 --> 37:09.895
But I didn't go to bed,
37:09.961 --> 37:14.700
because I had business
to attend to.
37:14.766 --> 37:16.735
Right, Jeremy Clarkson
thinks he's being flamboyant,
37:16.802 --> 37:19.338
and he doesn't realise that
my knowledge of aerodynamics
37:19.405 --> 37:23.409
will trump his ability
to fit rubber penises
to people's cars.
37:41.026 --> 37:41.993
Shit!
37:47.366 --> 37:49.635
Hammond! Fire!
37:49.701 --> 37:51.470
Help!
37:51.537 --> 37:53.539
Hammond! Help!
37:58.710 --> 38:01.747
The next morning,
as we resumed our journey,
38:01.813 --> 38:04.350
I was feeling
rather philosophical.
38:05.751 --> 38:07.853
I once saw an old lady
fall over
38:07.919 --> 38:10.922
and drop her shopping bag
on the opposite side
of the road,
38:10.989 --> 38:12.624
and her shopping fell out.
38:12.691 --> 38:14.360
And amongst it
was an Easter egg,
38:14.393 --> 38:17.796
which I assume she bought for
a grandchild or something,
38:17.863 --> 38:20.566
and it rolled into the road
and got run over by a car.
38:20.632 --> 38:24.570
It was the most tragic thing
I've ever seen...
38:24.636 --> 38:27.539
until I saw the front
of my car this morning.
38:32.110 --> 38:35.747
JEREMY:
And it wasn't just the front
of his own car he'd ruined.
38:40.218 --> 38:44.623
I wouldn't mind,
but the rattling from James's
workmanship is appalling.
38:48.394 --> 38:52.030
Despite everything, though,
we were now almost there.
38:52.097 --> 38:54.966
Today, we would reach the
beach that marked the finish
38:55.033 --> 38:58.169
of what had been
a spectacular journey
38:58.236 --> 39:00.939
through
a spectacular country.
39:03.174 --> 39:05.043
Oh!
39:05.110 --> 39:07.112
- That deserves a stabbing.
39:09.214 --> 39:11.750
RICHARD: Oh, my God!
39:13.284 --> 39:14.453
Oh!
39:19.024 --> 39:21.192
JEREMY: Oh, my...
39:21.259 --> 39:23.829
Giovanni,
could you run the baths?
39:27.132 --> 39:29.134
Aargh!
39:29.200 --> 39:31.503
Help!
39:31.570 --> 39:34.906
JEREMY:
It really is an amazing part
of the world, this.
39:34.973 --> 39:38.810
But everything that makes it
amazing is harsh
39:38.877 --> 39:41.012
and unforgiving
and difficult.
39:43.815 --> 39:46.051
Oh, stop!
39:46.117 --> 39:49.455
No one's ever said this
before, but Namibia...
39:51.022 --> 39:53.992
...is a beautiful bastard
of a country.
40:02.868 --> 40:04.302
And yet,
40:04.369 --> 40:07.773
as we counted down the last
few miles of our journey,
40:07.839 --> 40:12.444
our home-made beach buggies
were still running.
40:12.511 --> 40:16.882
They were battered and
bruised, but they'd proved
our point to Mr Wilman.
40:17.983 --> 40:19.184
They'd made it.
40:21.419 --> 40:23.455
And they had done
something else as well -
40:23.522 --> 40:24.956
they'd got under our skin.
40:25.023 --> 40:27.158
We liked them
even more at the end
40:27.225 --> 40:29.961
than we had done
at the start.
40:30.028 --> 40:32.664
I think everybody in the world
should drive a beach buggy,
40:32.731 --> 40:36.301
because you're exposed
to so much.
40:36.367 --> 40:37.736
Not just the elements,
40:37.803 --> 40:40.706
but the opinions
of other people.
40:40.772 --> 40:42.140
I mean, when you're in
a normal car,
40:42.207 --> 40:44.610
you shake your fist
and make gestures,
40:44.676 --> 40:45.977
and shout and yell,
40:46.044 --> 40:48.747
because you feel
cocooned and safe
40:48.814 --> 40:51.950
and immune from everybody.
40:52.017 --> 40:55.954
But in a beach buggy,
everyone's just there.
40:56.021 --> 40:57.756
It's brilliant!
40:57.823 --> 41:00.692
It's such a friendly way
of moving about.
41:02.528 --> 41:04.129
And with that,
we settled down
41:04.195 --> 41:08.399
for what we hoped would be
a smooth cruise to the beach.
41:08.534 --> 41:10.101
But it wasn't.
41:10.168 --> 41:11.136
Ow! Ow!
41:12.571 --> 41:13.905
Oh, God! Ow!
41:18.844 --> 41:20.579
This is outrageous!
41:22.380 --> 41:23.815
Holy shit!
41:26.618 --> 41:28.219
Oh, no! It's gone!
41:28.286 --> 41:32.257
And now my aerodynamics
are badly affected as well.
41:35.393 --> 41:36.795
Oh, my word!
41:38.129 --> 41:40.198
Jeremy is hoping
to get to the finish line
41:40.265 --> 41:43.268
in the sort of pile of scrap
you hate your neighbours
41:43.334 --> 41:45.604
for keeping at the bottom
of their garden.
41:49.040 --> 41:50.275
Oh, God!
41:54.913 --> 41:57.448
JEREMY:
Oh, no! There's petrol!
41:57.583 --> 42:00.786
Oh! Hammond,
don't go near his car!
42:00.852 --> 42:03.188
There's petrol all over
the front of his car.
42:03.254 --> 42:04.322
- Yeah.
42:04.389 --> 42:05.924
RICHARD: Ooh!
42:05.991 --> 42:08.093
JEREMY: What if it
caught fire, James?
42:13.364 --> 42:15.200
With just 30 miles to go,
42:15.266 --> 42:19.605
the mighty seven-cylinder V8
really started to play up.
42:21.206 --> 42:22.808
- Oh, no!
42:28.680 --> 42:30.348
And then
it started to go dark,
42:30.415 --> 42:33.919
which presented us with the
biggest problem of the lot.
42:37.355 --> 42:39.090
That's just terrible.
42:39.157 --> 42:41.292
Oh, God!
42:41.359 --> 42:42.994
JAMES:
Well, that's marvellous.
42:43.061 --> 42:44.963
JEREMY:
That one is dazzling me
42:45.030 --> 42:47.232
and that one is showing me where
to go.
42:48.800 --> 42:51.903
RICHARD:
This is far from ideal.
42:51.970 --> 42:54.005
JEREMY:
Before pitch darkness fell,
42:54.072 --> 42:57.709
we pulled over to do
some emergency repairs.
42:57.776 --> 42:59.477
I'm gonna put some...
42:59.544 --> 43:02.714
tape of a certain well-known
brand on the problem.
43:04.650 --> 43:06.117
JEREMY:
Finger tight will do.
43:06.184 --> 43:09.154
These repairs
were extremely successful.
43:13.424 --> 43:16.161
Oh, it's swung into my face!
43:16.227 --> 43:19.330
No, I can't see a thing.
Agh! That's worse!
43:21.700 --> 43:24.269
Oh, God. Now they've turned.
43:24.335 --> 43:27.038
Oh, no! My car's gone
cross-eyed again!
43:29.340 --> 43:31.977
JEREMY: There's a man
coming the other way.
43:32.043 --> 43:33.578
What's he gonna think of us?
43:33.679 --> 43:34.880
I don't know.
43:34.946 --> 43:36.948
I can't see a bloody thing.
43:38.583 --> 43:41.186
Thank you.
Oh, that's good!
43:41.252 --> 43:43.421
It's shaken the headlight
back round again!
43:43.488 --> 43:46.992
Yeah! No, it's back again.
Oh, just for a moment.
43:48.694 --> 43:53.331
Then the rough road brought
some new headlight problems.
43:53.398 --> 43:56.267
Oh, nothing! Oh, no!
Nothing! Nothing!
43:56.334 --> 44:00.005
I've got...
I've now got nothing at all.
44:00.071 --> 44:02.240
OK, Hammond and May,
can you just let me know
44:02.307 --> 44:04.876
what your lighting
situation is now?
44:04.943 --> 44:08.814
RICHARD: As long as I hold
the flash lever back,
I have light.
44:08.880 --> 44:12.851
JAMES: If I hold the lever,
I get one light
and one flashing light, yes.
44:12.918 --> 44:16.154
But I have to take
my hand off to change gear.
44:16.221 --> 44:18.824
JEREMY: And then Hammond's
car suddenly turned into
44:18.890 --> 44:21.192
the lighting rig
at a Pink Floyd gig.
44:23.328 --> 44:25.496
Why does it keep changing?
What...
44:25.563 --> 44:26.865
And it's all got...
44:32.303 --> 44:35.373
It's only three kilometres
to go now. Three.
44:39.010 --> 44:39.811
Ahh!
44:39.878 --> 44:41.880
Oh, hell!
44:42.848 --> 44:44.282
Gone. Coming back.
44:46.084 --> 44:47.786
Although we couldn't see,
44:47.853 --> 44:50.989
we knew we must be close
to the beach.
44:51.056 --> 44:53.158
It's not... you know,
a seaside beach.
44:53.224 --> 44:56.427
It must be on a river
or a lake, or something.
44:59.397 --> 45:01.833
This is uphill.
I'm sure that's wrong.
45:03.769 --> 45:06.171
That's a big drop there.
45:06.237 --> 45:08.874
I don't want to go off there.
45:08.940 --> 45:11.176
JEREMY: I'm not sure
this is sensible.
45:11.242 --> 45:14.913
Nowhere in any guide
I've ever read does it say,
45:14.980 --> 45:18.549
"Explore new territory
in a beach buggy
45:18.616 --> 45:21.853
with your lights all broken."
45:21.920 --> 45:25.891
Unable to find anything even
remotely resembling a beach,
45:25.957 --> 45:27.793
we pulled over.
45:29.694 --> 45:32.864
We cannot carry on
just plunging around
in the darkness,
45:32.931 --> 45:34.332
hoping to find the beach.
45:34.399 --> 45:36.201
And, anyway,
what is that noise?
45:37.568 --> 45:42.573
RICHARD: I would say
that...is a waterfall.
45:42.640 --> 45:44.943
Is it something you want
to come across in the dark?
45:45.010 --> 45:48.013
Because the other thing
I'd say about that sound -
45:48.079 --> 45:51.449
it might be my imagination,
but that sounds as though
it's coming from below,
45:51.516 --> 45:52.818
like we're above it.
45:52.818 --> 45:54.219
We have climbed up
that track.
45:54.285 --> 45:56.521
And a waterfall is a drop,
by definition.
45:56.587 --> 45:58.890
If we're...
I don't want to...
in the dark.
45:58.957 --> 46:01.392
Abandon. I'm not doing it.
46:01.459 --> 46:03.528
We'll do it tomorrow. Sun.
46:03.594 --> 46:06.431
Let's look at the stars
and have one more night
in Namibia.
46:06.497 --> 46:08.733
We'll find it tomorrow
and it'll be fantastically
glorious.
46:08.834 --> 46:09.835
RICHARD:
Tomorrow on the beach.
46:09.901 --> 46:12.203
JEREMY: Giovanni!
46:15.907 --> 46:20.411
The next morning,
daylight brought answers
to our questions.
46:22.480 --> 46:24.215
So it wasn't a waterfall.
46:24.282 --> 46:26.651
No, it was many waterfalls.
46:26.717 --> 46:28.053
Hundreds of waterfalls.
46:36.627 --> 46:38.729
And they were just part
of what we all agreed
46:38.864 --> 46:43.902
was the most beautiful view
we'd ever seen.
46:54.079 --> 46:57.715
But...many waterfalls.
46:57.782 --> 46:59.517
No beach that I can see.
47:02.988 --> 47:04.722
Does that count as a beach?
47:04.789 --> 47:05.891
JEREMY: That is a beach.
47:05.891 --> 47:07.658
JAMES: I'd call that a beach.
47:07.725 --> 47:10.728
- The beach.
- That's got to be it.
There's no others.
47:10.795 --> 47:13.899
Gentlemen,
our quest is at an end.
47:13.932 --> 47:16.734
Let us ride...
47:16.801 --> 47:20.471
in splendour... to...
47:20.538 --> 47:22.941
- I'm not finishing that
very well. What is it?
- It's very moving.
47:23.008 --> 47:26.611
I'm trying to think
of something evocative
and Victorian and brilliant.
47:26.677 --> 47:28.813
RICHARD: "Let's go over there
and finish our journey"?
47:28.914 --> 47:30.648
No, that's Brummie rubbish!
47:30.715 --> 47:32.683
- It is!
- It's the fact.
47:32.750 --> 47:36.587
JEREMY:
Unable to find the right
words to mark the moment...
47:36.654 --> 47:38.123
...we set off anyway.
47:41.659 --> 47:43.061
Yeah, this is it.
47:46.097 --> 47:49.334
We are half a kilometre
from our objective.
47:53.638 --> 47:54.940
Oh.
47:55.006 --> 47:57.608
Oh, no. Path ends. Path ends.
47:58.843 --> 48:00.378
Erm...
48:02.747 --> 48:04.549
Oh, my God!
48:07.152 --> 48:08.519
Well, if this won't get
over there,
48:08.586 --> 48:10.088
there's no way will theirs.
48:13.158 --> 48:16.261
JEREMY: We split up
to look for a path
through the rocks...
48:18.429 --> 48:19.497
JAMES: Oh, no!
48:19.564 --> 48:22.333
...but it was hopeless.
48:22.400 --> 48:23.368
Forget it.
48:24.569 --> 48:26.337
Hammond, forget it.
48:26.404 --> 48:28.473
We aren't going down
this hill.
48:31.742 --> 48:35.580
The problem is, even if we
could get over this stuff,
which we can't...
48:35.646 --> 48:37.215
RICHARD: No, we can't.
48:37.282 --> 48:39.985
...have you seen what's
between us and the beach?
48:40.051 --> 48:43.989
Look at it. There's no way
you could drive over that
or anywhere near.
48:44.022 --> 48:46.524
- Look,
you can't even go inland.
- No, we can't go there.
48:46.591 --> 48:48.293
And you can't go
around that mountain
48:48.359 --> 48:50.428
and come at it from the back,
cos they're cliffs.
48:56.501 --> 48:58.469
Wait a minute.
48:58.536 --> 49:00.505
What?
49:00.571 --> 49:01.672
I've had...
49:02.740 --> 49:04.142
...a great idea.
49:04.209 --> 49:07.078
- RICHARD: Oh, no.
- No.
49:07.145 --> 49:10.181
So we can't drive over here.
49:10.248 --> 49:15.620
But we have to get us
and our cars to that beach
over there.
49:17.088 --> 49:20.191
If there were to be
some kind of...
49:20.258 --> 49:23.428
A mounting point on that
cliff, maybe, and then--
49:23.494 --> 49:24.429
Do what?
49:24.495 --> 49:26.564
No.
Mounting point down there.
49:26.631 --> 49:28.466
Over that distance?
That's a huge distance.
49:28.533 --> 49:30.068
- It's about half a kilometre.
- No!
49:30.135 --> 49:31.802
But can you imagine
the forces on it?
49:31.869 --> 49:34.339
- The things at the end
are gonna have to be...
- Huge.
49:34.405 --> 49:37.508
- Massive.
- Jeremy, we don't all live
in a cartoon.
49:37.575 --> 49:39.344
We will die! Dead!
49:42.313 --> 49:45.050
RICHARD: Given that
there were no alternatives,
49:45.083 --> 49:46.917
we had to go with
the ape's plan,
49:47.052 --> 49:52.457
which was to turn our beach
buggies into cable cars.
49:52.523 --> 49:55.893
- That's over two metres.
- Yeah, that's good enough.
49:55.960 --> 49:59.064
So we headed to
a nearby abandoned mine...
50:00.398 --> 50:02.200
...to scavenge materials.
50:05.103 --> 50:06.804
JAMES: Is that bit any good?
50:06.871 --> 50:10.941
- How much more of that cable
have we got?
- Four drums.
50:11.008 --> 50:14.345
- Are you proposing that
that becomes a winding drum?
- Yeah.
50:14.412 --> 50:16.881
It's very important...
50:16.947 --> 50:20.718
we get as much
weight as possible
into Hammond's car...
50:20.785 --> 50:23.188
for erm...
well, for your amusement.
50:28.993 --> 50:30.061
Right, toolbox.
50:37.034 --> 50:39.404
- JEREMY: 30 metres.
50:45.910 --> 50:48.779
James, have you got that hoop
welded in yet?
50:48.846 --> 50:50.148
No, that's my next job.
50:55.153 --> 50:56.921
RICHARD: Several days later,
50:56.987 --> 50:59.657
and with absolutely no help
whatsoever
50:59.724 --> 51:04.028
from any Namibian
mining engineers...
51:04.129 --> 51:08.266
...the world's first
beach buggy cable car
was ready, and--
51:08.333 --> 51:10.034
JEREMY:
Shit! Stop, everybody!
51:10.135 --> 51:13.003
The goats are eating the tree
that we've anchored it to.
51:13.138 --> 51:15.473
- Shoo, goats! Shoo!
51:18.343 --> 51:20.578
They were eating the tree.
51:20.645 --> 51:22.447
RICHARD:
Anyway, as I was saying,
51:22.513 --> 51:24.949
it stretched for more
than a third of a mile.
51:25.015 --> 51:27.885
And since the drop to
the crocodile-infested river
51:27.952 --> 51:30.155
was several hundred feet,
51:30.188 --> 51:32.323
we decided
James should go first.
51:33.324 --> 51:34.825
- We had a vote.
51:34.892 --> 51:36.861
We did, and we were unanimous
you were going first.
51:36.927 --> 51:38.729
Right, so it's become
a democracy all of a sudden?
51:38.796 --> 51:40.665
- JEREMY: Yes, it has.
- RICHARD: Yeah.
51:40.731 --> 51:42.300
And anyway,
your car's the lightest,
51:42.367 --> 51:43.868
now you've burned half
of it away.
51:46.171 --> 51:49.174
I'm climbing in.
Jesus!
51:49.207 --> 51:52.677
JEREMY:
With the state-of-the-art
generators fired up...
51:57.382 --> 51:59.584
...James fortified himself
for the journey...
52:01.085 --> 52:02.953
Is he drinking?
52:03.020 --> 52:06.191
...and then simply drove off
the launch pad.
52:06.257 --> 52:08.259
JAMES: Oh, my God! Whoa!
52:10.895 --> 52:12.630
Oh, shit! It's really high!
52:12.697 --> 52:16.066
It's really high!
I'm turning the engine off.
52:16.201 --> 52:18.269
- RICHARD: We had to test it.
- JEREMY: Well, exactly.
52:18.336 --> 52:21.406
- He had to go first.
- Don't look at us
and think we're bad.
52:21.472 --> 52:24.008
Because that was
scientifically vigorous.
52:30.348 --> 52:31.916
It's a cable car.
It's a cable car.
52:31.982 --> 52:34.652
I've been on lots of
cable cars. They're safe.
52:34.719 --> 52:37.788
- JEREMY: God. Look, he's...
This is where it's high.
- RICHARD: That's horrible.
52:40.891 --> 52:42.860
No! It's going really high!
I don't like...
52:46.797 --> 52:48.132
JAMES: I hate you!
52:48.233 --> 52:50.235
- OK.
- He doesn't like us.
52:53.738 --> 52:58.075
JAMES: Despite my terror,
the cable buggy kept on
chugging through
52:58.142 --> 53:02.913
what's technically Angolan
airspace towards the beach.
53:02.980 --> 53:04.148
God, I'm nearly there!
53:06.851 --> 53:08.886
Neutral. Handbrake off.
53:08.953 --> 53:11.256
He's gonna do it.
He's gonna do it.
53:11.322 --> 53:12.623
I'm at the end!
53:15.025 --> 53:17.862
- JEREMY: He's down.
- RICHARD: That's a landing.
53:17.928 --> 53:19.864
Yes!
53:21.699 --> 53:23.501
- I'm doing maths here.
53:23.568 --> 53:26.871
One of us is gonna be killed
doing this, obviously, yes?
53:26.937 --> 53:30.875
- I'd say so, yeah.
- So when we were all here,
33% chance.
53:30.941 --> 53:33.644
Now I'm doing it
with a 50% chance.
53:33.711 --> 53:35.346
- I'm going next.
53:35.413 --> 53:37.315
- I can go next.
- You can't go next.
53:39.917 --> 53:43.421
JEREMY: Whilst James
toasted his success
with some more drink...
53:44.889 --> 53:48.693
...I won the argument
and prepared for launch.
53:49.627 --> 53:51.829
Why is my car at this angle?
53:51.896 --> 53:55.300
Well, maybe because
there's a massive V8
hanging out the back of it.
53:55.333 --> 53:57.802
Right! Right, right, right!
53:57.868 --> 53:59.036
I'll... here we go.
54:09.079 --> 54:13.784
My rectum has just opened
like a set of theatre
curtains.
54:13.851 --> 54:16.621
And for good reason,
because my beach buggy
54:16.687 --> 54:21.392
weighed 200 kilograms more
than James's charred wreck.
54:24.429 --> 54:27.465
Ooh! Ooh!
He brushed the grass!
54:30.768 --> 54:32.503
I'm terrified,
I'll be honest,
54:32.570 --> 54:35.340
but, for the first time
since I set off,
54:35.373 --> 54:37.342
I'm comfortable
in my beach buggy.
54:49.053 --> 54:52.457
Approaching the beach.
Approaching the end
of the journey.
54:52.523 --> 54:53.824
Here I come.
54:54.925 --> 54:57.828
And... touchdown!
54:57.895 --> 55:00.365
Yes!
55:00.365 --> 55:03.100
JEREMY: Bad news, Hammond. I've
made it.
55:03.167 --> 55:04.702
Oh, great.
55:04.769 --> 55:08.373
- Oh, I say, James!
55:08.373 --> 55:10.608
JEREMY: Actually, I was lucky
there was some left,
55:10.675 --> 55:14.379
because James had had
a bit of a thirst on
whilst he'd been alone.
55:15.913 --> 55:17.214
Hello, guys down there.
55:17.281 --> 55:19.550
It's Richard at the top.
55:19.617 --> 55:21.919
Right, I'm gonna do this now,
so goodbye.
55:26.491 --> 55:28.593
Oh!
I don't like that feeling!
55:33.764 --> 55:36.601
Here he comes,
ladies and gentlemen,
Richard Hammond.
55:37.935 --> 55:39.003
No!
55:41.171 --> 55:44.008
I could take solace from
the fact that this system
55:44.074 --> 55:47.878
has already run twice with
their cars and not failed -
it's been tested.
55:47.945 --> 55:49.947
Or I could take
a more realistic view,
55:50.014 --> 55:54.719
which is that
those two fat oafs
have already weakened it.
55:54.785 --> 55:57.021
JEREMY: Plus he had all
that scrap metal in the back,
55:57.087 --> 55:59.457
which is why
all eyes were on him.
55:59.524 --> 56:01.792
Well, when I say "all"...
56:01.859 --> 56:04.895
Look at the colours
in those rocks over there.
56:04.962 --> 56:07.498
It's... It's fantastic.
56:07.565 --> 56:09.700
Just to the left
of where Hammond is.
56:12.670 --> 56:15.440
Why's my car sitting so low?
It is heavy.
56:15.506 --> 56:17.274
It is... Why's it lower?
56:17.341 --> 56:20.110
- The colouring
is fabulous, isn't it?
- Yeah, they are.
56:24.181 --> 56:27.685
RICHARD:
Despite all my fears,
the cables were holding
56:27.752 --> 56:31.288
and drawing me ever closer
to my colleagues.
56:31.355 --> 56:33.691
This is it.
I can see the beach.
56:33.758 --> 56:35.793
I'm so nearly there.
We are gonna do it!
56:37.462 --> 56:38.863
Come on, Hammond. Come on.
56:41.131 --> 56:43.167
I'm gonna do it.
56:43.233 --> 56:45.069
Come on, Hammond. Come on.
56:49.507 --> 56:50.775
Oh.
56:53.478 --> 56:55.012
Erm...
56:57.014 --> 56:58.483
Why have I stopped?
56:58.483 --> 56:59.917
- JEREMY: Hammond!
- JAMES: Come on!
56:59.984 --> 57:02.152
- RICHARD: I've stopped!
- JEREMY: Hammond!
57:02.219 --> 57:03.854
It's just stopped!
57:03.921 --> 57:05.690
What can I do?
It's just stopped!
57:05.756 --> 57:08.759
There's, like,
200 metres to go!
57:08.826 --> 57:11.829
I don't have anything to do
with it! It's not up to me!
57:11.896 --> 57:14.765
Is there nothing you can do?
57:14.832 --> 57:16.834
Sadly, James was
too drunk to think,
57:16.901 --> 57:18.569
and I'm mechanically inept.
57:18.636 --> 57:22.507
Plus, whatever had gone wrong
had gone wrong at the top,
57:22.573 --> 57:24.374
and we were at the bottom.
57:24.509 --> 57:25.976
Move! Move! Move!
57:26.043 --> 57:28.112
There's literally
nothing we can do.
57:28.178 --> 57:29.547
We've assessed everything
57:29.614 --> 57:31.616
and you're in
a hopeless position.
57:33.317 --> 57:35.119
We could have another beer.
57:40.157 --> 57:42.392
We've gonna have to conclude,
I'm afraid,
57:42.527 --> 57:47.164
that Mr Wilman was right that
the beach buggy is no good.
57:47.231 --> 57:50.801
And on that
terrible disappointment,
it's time to end.
57:50.868 --> 57:53.571
Thank you so much
for watching. Good night.
58:01.779 --> 58:03.881
* You've got your head
on backwards, baby *
58:03.948 --> 58:05.415
* You don't know
where you're at *
58:05.550 --> 58:07.251
* You've got your head
on backwards, baby *
58:07.317 --> 58:09.253
* Watch out
or you'll fall flat *
58:09.319 --> 58:12.356
* Instead of saying hi
to the people that you meet *
58:12.422 --> 58:15.425
* You ought to say goodbye
as you're walking
down the street *
58:15.560 --> 58:18.262
* You've got your head
on backwards, baby *
58:18.328 --> 58:21.065
* And you're gonna
hit the ground *
58:21.131 --> 58:22.567
* Yeah *
58:22.567 --> 58:24.068
* Well, when you finally
fall down, baby *
58:24.134 --> 58:27.037
* I don't wanna
be around *
58:28.238 --> 58:29.206
* No *
64714
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