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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Hi, I'm Captain Eddie Penisi
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of Tacoma Fire Department Station 24.
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And it's time for our
Annual Tacoma Fire Department
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00:00:10,274 --> 00:00:11,667
Charity Pickleball Tournament.
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Sponsored by Enzo's,
the best pizza in Tacoma.
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And while they are serving
up slices at Enzo's,
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Captain Penisi and I
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will be serving up slices on the court.
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- Cut. What are you doing?
- I'm improvising.
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You're supposed to miss the ball.
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I don't wanna miss the ball.
You miss the ball.
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00:00:27,329 --> 00:00:28,762
No, the script says you're
supposed to miss the ball
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- and then throw your racket.
- I'm the chief.
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I gotta wear the stupid hat.
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You wear the hat. You throw your racket.
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Penisi, time is money. Come on.
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Terry, you're the food guy.
I'm the spokes-guy.
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When you improvise,
it messes up the flow.
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We're going again.
Take eight, and action.
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Enzo, throw the ball.
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And while Enzo is serving up slices,
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Chief McConky and I will be
serving up slices on the court.
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Hey, that's my line.
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00:00:51,258 --> 00:00:52,912
- You stole my line.
- Cut.
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00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:55,254
Yeah, it didn't sound right
coming out of your mouth.
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The good news is, I think we got it.
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So let's jump to the end.
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The Annual Tacoma Firefighter
Pickleball Tournament,
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sponsored by Enzo's.
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Order in or take it Ta-Homa.
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It'll stuff your face.
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Uh-oh, good thing I'm a firefighter.
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Ah.
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Cut.
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That was great. Let's do another one.
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How about this time, I give
Gina the Heimlich?
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- Absolutely.
- All right, here we go.
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And action.
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Oh, oh, oh!
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com
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Oh, guys.
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It's pickleball week. Look at this.
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Oh, man, I'm so excited.
This is my first tournament.
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Well, temper your expectations,
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because your dad and
uncle are unbeatable
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and such incredible assholes about it.
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Exactly. That's why I can't wait
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00:02:08,552 --> 00:02:10,540
- to kick their asses so hard.
- That's what we all want,
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00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:12,238
but they have a way of
getting in your head.
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I grew up with them, Andy.
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I think I know how to
handle their bullshit.
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Oh, man.
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Oh, man, come on.
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The production value on
this has gone up every year.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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your perennial pickleball champions,
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Team Fire and Slice!
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- Come on, give it up.
- Whoo!
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High five, everybody. High five.
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It's the eye contact
that's really uncomfortable.
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These are winner moves.
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Right here, this is the victory dance.
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Hey, cut the music, Chiefy.
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The crew is clearly intimidated.
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Yeah, they are. We are unbeatable,
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and we are defending our title
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for an impressive tenth
year in a row-ow-ow-ow...
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- That is impressive.
- Not as impressive
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as your jackrabbit quickness.
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00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:08,393
Oh, thank you. But
that's not as impressive
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as the human wall you form
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- at the net!
- Ha-ha-ha!
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You guys are such tools.
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It'll be so satisfying to take you down.
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Lucy, language.
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It's way too mild.
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I can't.
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That's right, it's pickleball week,
and you are encouraged
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00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,756
to spice up your trash
talk with your superiors.
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All right, so who wants to
give us the business first?
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Eh? Eh? Ike, come on, buddy.
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Hit me, hit me.
Give me a good one, come on.
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Say the thing that you were gonna...
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No, I didn't have any...
I never said anything.
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Here, let me give you an example.
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00:03:35,057 --> 00:03:36,507
Okay, sure, 'cause we
don't have anything.
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We're gonna beat you so
bad you're gonna feel like
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you're the bottom of a ketchup bottle.
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- What's up?
- What up?
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- Boop, boop!
- Boop!
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00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:44,888
And...
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We got the power to,
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we got the power to, we got the power to
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- whoop you!
- Ha-ha, peace!
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Class dismissed.
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See you on the court, bitches.
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00:03:54,116 --> 00:03:56,029
I think I hate them.
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00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,083
For the readers of the neighborhood app
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00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:07,004
who aren't familiar, what
is the appeal of pickleball?
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00:04:07,601 --> 00:04:09,480
Well, Ken, it is the
fastest-growing sport
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00:04:09,485 --> 00:04:12,113
in America, and it's big
in fire stations everywhere.
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00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,381
It combines the most
exciting elements of tennis,
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badminton, and ping-pong.
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And it keeps us in tip-top shape.
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It's also big in nursing homes.
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- Ooh!
- And why do you wear
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00:04:21,103 --> 00:04:22,746
your gear when you practice?
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00:04:22,751 --> 00:04:24,871
Frankly, it's the only way
we can challenge ourselves.
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We're that much better than everyone.
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- You really are.
- Oh-ho-ho!
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Okay, I legit hate them,
but God, they're great.
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You know what makes 'em great?
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They have a winning culture.
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You know, my football team in Alabama
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had the same philosophy.
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Think like a winner, be a winner.
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It was the same on my college judo team.
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- Yeah, Captain.
- So easy!
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You know, if we teamed up
together, we could totally
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00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:47,996
take these douche nozzles down.
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I don't know.
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Pickleball really isn't my thing, Lucy.
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00:04:50,735 --> 00:04:52,037
We're playing left-handed
and we're still
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- better than anyone else!
- Oh, my God.
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00:04:53,563 --> 00:04:55,473
Come on, they're such assholes.
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Lower blast shields. Bloop, bloop, boop.
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I can't see, I can't see. Oh!
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In reverse! Oh, man.
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Okay, let's kill 'em.
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Yes.
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00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,613
Mm, hey Luc, check it out.
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One of the perks of being the best:
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Enzo sends over free food.
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Best pizza in Tacoma.
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- Nice, it looks good.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
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00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,043
- Wow, really?
- Champions only.
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Losers are bad for their brand.
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You gotta be a winner to eat dinner.
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00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:24,199
You guys have gotten super cocky.
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Just wait until we
humiliate you on the court.
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00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:28,433
Then we'll be unbearable.
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00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:32,418
Please, I'm sorry. Would
you like a garlic knot?
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A peace offering.
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Garlic not.
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Oh, my God, she doesn't
stand a chance against us.
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Maybe you should put your
money where your mouth is
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00:05:44,821 --> 00:05:46,550
instead of your fifth garlic knot.
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- Oh, look at you!
- Oh-ho-ho-ho.
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00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:50,444
- Look at her!
- You know what?
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00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,954
100 bucks says me and Granny
wipe the floor with you guys.
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You're teaming up with Granny?
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Yeah, another college athlete.
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Oh, my God.
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Make it 500.
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00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:02,598
Fine, let's make it $500.
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00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:03,978
- Let's do it.
- Sounds good. Deal.
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00:06:03,983 --> 00:06:06,243
Oh, Luc, do you wanna pay us now
158
00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:07,954
or do you wanna just pay us later?
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00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:10,993
You guys are gross, by the way.
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Bye.
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Hey, give me a meatball, would ya?
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You got it.
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I am so excited about this.
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We are by far the best
athletes in the station.
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Damn straight, and we
should come up with a name
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that reflects our mutual
physical greatness.
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How about "The Ass Kickers?"
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I like it. It's subtle.
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All right, here we go.
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Oh!
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- Oh.
- Oh, whoops.
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One for the blooper reel.
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- You good?
- Yeah, I just got crossed up.
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00:06:38,139 --> 00:06:39,165
Let's go.
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00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,103
All right, here we go.
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00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,376
You seem a little off balance.
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It's a lateral movement thing.
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It's not really my strong suit.
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How could you be a football player
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00:06:49,491 --> 00:06:50,962
and not have good lateral movement?
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00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:53,626
You only move forward and
backward when you're a punter.
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00:06:53,631 --> 00:06:54,719
A punter?
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00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:56,509
Yeah. Go Matadors.
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00:06:56,514 --> 00:06:58,821
Wait. University of
Alabama is "Crimson Tide."
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Right, and at Central Alabama Polytech,
186
00:07:01,444 --> 00:07:03,970
we're the Matadors.
187
00:07:04,369 --> 00:07:06,275
Hm, awesome.
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00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,798
Come on, Andy!
189
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:09,517
Whoo!
190
00:07:10,026 --> 00:07:13,025
Whoa, whoa. That's what
I'm talking about, Andy.
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00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:14,205
- All day.
- Nice!
192
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,888
- Yeah, all day.
- I'm telling you,
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00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,851
Cap and Chief are getting older.
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00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:19,138
We really got a shot this year.
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00:07:19,143 --> 00:07:20,724
- You think so?
- Yeah, we do, man.
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00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:23,263
We just need that one
little thing, like,
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00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,201
just to put us over the edge, you know?
198
00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:26,859
Just give us an edge.
199
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:30,138
Yeah, we just need something
to enhance our performance.
200
00:07:30,143 --> 00:07:32,428
No, more of a "performance enhancer."
201
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:36,881
You know, my mom gave me
something that might help.
202
00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:39,646
If you're open to it, of course.
203
00:07:41,414 --> 00:07:43,024
Just coffee?
204
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,646
Not just any coffee,
205
00:07:44,651 --> 00:07:46,443
the strongest in the world.
206
00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:48,271
- Oh.
- From the Philippines.
207
00:07:48,276 --> 00:07:50,451
Eight times the caffeine.
208
00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:53,131
Usbong Ng Kidlat.
209
00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:55,506
Roughly translates to "Lightning Crap."
210
00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:58,537
It's said that it gives you
the strength of an elephant
211
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,053
and the quickness of a jaguar.
212
00:08:00,058 --> 00:08:02,278
What? How's that even possible?
213
00:08:02,364 --> 00:08:04,826
The beans are grown in
the Luzon rain forest.
214
00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:08,232
They're fed to jaguars, who
digest and defecate them.
215
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,490
That feces is then fed to elephants,
216
00:08:10,495 --> 00:08:12,019
who also defecate them.
217
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:15,568
Then they clean off the
beans, brew it, and voilà.
218
00:08:15,573 --> 00:08:16,584
Sounds delicious.
219
00:08:16,589 --> 00:08:18,548
I mean, until you
explain the whole process.
220
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:21,209
Ooh, baby, it smells.
221
00:08:21,214 --> 00:08:22,982
- Here, go ahead.
- Oh!
222
00:08:22,987 --> 00:08:24,624
- I don't know, I mean...
- Ah, come on, man.
223
00:08:24,628 --> 00:08:26,756
- Try it.
- Nah, I mean, I'm just...
224
00:08:26,761 --> 00:08:28,295
- What are you, chicken?
- No.
225
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,412
- Then what?
- I don't know.
226
00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:30,897
I'm not familiar with it.
227
00:08:30,902 --> 00:08:32,336
Me neither, but you
were the one that said
228
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,863
that we needed an edge.
229
00:08:34,019 --> 00:08:35,543
Do you think it's safe?
230
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,507
It can't be more
dangerous than us running
231
00:08:37,512 --> 00:08:39,560
into burning buildings,
and we do that all the time.
232
00:08:39,565 --> 00:08:41,523
That is solid logic, man.
233
00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:44,498
Bottoms up. Let's do it.
234
00:08:48,573 --> 00:08:50,444
Is it always that hot?
235
00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:52,763
Coffee? Yeah.
236
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,803
- Ah, damn it!
- This doesn't make sense.
237
00:08:58,808 --> 00:09:00,710
- You're so good at ping-pong.
- Well, that's different.
238
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,873
In ping pong, I only need
to move one or two steps.
239
00:09:02,878 --> 00:09:04,857
I guess. I just think it's weird
240
00:09:04,862 --> 00:09:05,921
that you're a football player,
241
00:09:05,925 --> 00:09:07,038
but you're not a natural athlete.
242
00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:08,304
Oh, all right.
243
00:09:08,309 --> 00:09:10,607
Punters are athletes, too, okay?
244
00:09:10,612 --> 00:09:13,092
If we weren't, they wouldn't
let us ride on the bus
245
00:09:13,097 --> 00:09:14,638
with the real football players.
246
00:09:14,643 --> 00:09:16,646
Yeah, but all you do
is kick a ball, right?
247
00:09:16,651 --> 00:09:18,175
Okay, here we go.
248
00:09:18,385 --> 00:09:22,006
Punting is so much more
than kicking a ball, Lucy.
249
00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:24,881
It takes leg strength,
hand-eye coordination,
250
00:09:24,886 --> 00:09:25,990
and balance.
251
00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,530
Okay? It's about getting the flat drops
252
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,638
so the ball turns over mid-flight.
253
00:09:29,671 --> 00:09:31,716
Your planting foot has to hold
254
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,201
while linemen are rushing at you.
255
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,990
And don't even get me started
256
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:37,258
on engaging your hip flexors too soon.
257
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:40,396
Okay, let's get that
winning culture up in here.
258
00:09:40,401 --> 00:09:42,365
Think like a winner, be a winner.
259
00:09:42,370 --> 00:09:45,053
Let's go punt some balls and
get your mojo up and running.
260
00:09:45,058 --> 00:09:47,685
- That's a great idea!
- Yes.
261
00:09:52,029 --> 00:09:53,857
Oh! I feel so fast!
262
00:09:53,862 --> 00:09:56,386
I wanna trample something. Ah!
263
00:09:57,745 --> 00:10:00,295
- I can't wait to see this.
- Oh, yeah.
264
00:10:02,446 --> 00:10:04,560
- Here we go, right here.
- Ball me.
265
00:10:04,565 --> 00:10:06,567
- Okay.
- Here it comes, boys.
266
00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:08,428
Go back!
267
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,561
I want you back at least 100 yards.
268
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,248
- What? No!
- Go back.
269
00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:14,037
Hey, Ike, Eddie, get it together.
270
00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:16,467
You ready for this? Here it comes.
271
00:10:16,472 --> 00:10:17,990
Let's go, let's go!
272
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:20,162
Prepare to be impressed.
273
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,998
I am prepared.
274
00:10:24,579 --> 00:10:26,015
Race you.
275
00:10:27,273 --> 00:10:28,951
Yeah.
276
00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:31,123
Hey, that's okay. That
was just a warmup, guys.
277
00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:32,545
Go back out there. Come on. Slip.
278
00:10:33,104 --> 00:10:34,756
- There we go.
- Let's go.
279
00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:36,893
Well, back off for this
one, guys, all right?
280
00:10:36,898 --> 00:10:38,465
Deep bomb, baby.
281
00:10:40,896 --> 00:10:42,419
- Race you.
- Wait a minute.
282
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,469
You guys, stay out
there. We're gonna go again.
283
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:46,576
Come on. Granny, here
we go. Let's go again.
284
00:10:46,581 --> 00:10:49,170
This is [BLEEP].
Come on, kick it or don't!
285
00:10:49,175 --> 00:10:51,046
Kick it right now!
286
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:52,836
- Oh!
- Ah!
287
00:10:52,841 --> 00:10:54,013
You okay?
288
00:10:54,463 --> 00:10:56,537
Granny, you got this. Come on, buddy.
289
00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:58,827
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
290
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,780
I don't got it. I lost it, I lost it!
291
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,537
You didn't... Oh, come on, big guy.
292
00:11:14,691 --> 00:11:16,428
What is wrong with you?
You're so slow this morning.
293
00:11:16,432 --> 00:11:18,092
I don't have it today, okay?
294
00:11:18,238 --> 00:11:19,818
Are you having sex with someone?
295
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:21,021
No.
296
00:11:21,026 --> 00:11:23,071
You are. Your mustache is fluffy.
297
00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:24,379
I can always tell you're
sleeping with someone
298
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,775
when your mustache is fluffy.
299
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:27,967
All right, fine, yes. I have a new girl,
300
00:11:27,972 --> 00:11:30,248
- and she is insatiable.
- What?
301
00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:31,982
You do not have sex
when you're in training.
302
00:11:31,987 --> 00:11:33,185
It uses too much energy.
303
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:36,123
Not if I just lay there.
Takes no energy at all.
304
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,638
If you care about this team,
you're gonna need to abstain.
305
00:11:38,643 --> 00:11:40,490
You're not exactly
lighting it up either.
306
00:11:40,495 --> 00:11:41,975
Maybe you should abstain
307
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,631
- from the free food.
- What's the point of being
308
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,459
sponsored by the best
pizza maker in Tacoma
309
00:11:45,464 --> 00:11:46,600
if you can't sample the goods?
310
00:11:46,604 --> 00:11:48,127
You need to commit too.
311
00:11:48,171 --> 00:11:51,443
I'll quit having sex
when you quit eating.
312
00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,357
- Mm-hmm.
- Fine.
313
00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:54,756
Fine.
314
00:11:56,619 --> 00:11:58,756
- Mm-hmm.
- Fine.
315
00:12:00,871 --> 00:12:02,435
There you go.
316
00:12:03,338 --> 00:12:05,553
Okay.
317
00:12:06,962 --> 00:12:08,662
Very expensive.
318
00:12:12,627 --> 00:12:14,513
Also high quality.
319
00:12:20,613 --> 00:12:22,428
Huh, okay?
320
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,618
Ah! I feel so jacked!
321
00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:44,243
Me too, brother! Jacked!
322
00:12:44,838 --> 00:12:46,267
Oh, shoot, Andy,
323
00:12:46,272 --> 00:12:48,681
that should be our team name, "Jacked."
324
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:50,268
But instead of an E, put
an apostrophe in there
325
00:12:50,272 --> 00:12:51,621
so it's just "Jack'd."
326
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:53,337
- We're Jack'd.
- You're saying it weird.
327
00:12:53,342 --> 00:12:54,970
- Just Jack'd.
- Jack'd.
328
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,315
Don't spin your head
'cause I can't hear...
329
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:58,571
Just trying to get to the
D without an E in there.
330
00:12:58,576 --> 00:13:00,024
- Jack'd.
- Jack'd!
331
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,360
Yeah!
332
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,940
Kind of freaky and
scary when you say it.
333
00:13:02,944 --> 00:13:04,685
Props to the genius
who got that elephant
334
00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:06,814
- to eat the jaguar dung.
- Oh, yeah.
335
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,509
Hey, man, I wonder how they do that.
336
00:13:10,076 --> 00:13:12,587
- That can't be how you spell it.
- It's not in English, Ike.
337
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,087
Search-a-roo.
338
00:13:14,092 --> 00:13:15,149
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
339
00:13:15,154 --> 00:13:16,774
What the f...
340
00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:18,655
What?
341
00:13:18,783 --> 00:13:19,828
They actually
342
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,337
sewed the elephant's trunk
343
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,048
into the jaguar's ass.
344
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,663
It's like the Ringling Brothers
345
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:25,978
meets "Human Centipede."
346
00:13:25,983 --> 00:13:27,676
This is the cruelest,
most disturbing thing
347
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,024
I've ever seen in my whole life.
348
00:13:29,029 --> 00:13:30,345
We can never drink
349
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,047
another drop of this as long as we live.
350
00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:36,087
- Well, let's not go that far.
- What are you talking about?
351
00:13:36,092 --> 00:13:38,118
This is horrible animal
cruelty right here.
352
00:13:38,123 --> 00:13:39,167
This is inhumane.
353
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:40,493
The beans are already here,
354
00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:42,942
and the animals suffered so much
355
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,157
to get them here, so
it would be cruel for us
356
00:13:46,162 --> 00:13:47,860
not to drink it.
357
00:13:47,865 --> 00:13:50,235
To honor the animal sacrifice
358
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,894
that has already been made,
359
00:13:52,084 --> 00:13:53,869
- maybe we should...
- Savor every sip.
360
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,040
Yeah, I mean,
361
00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:57,056
that might be the right
thing to do, right?
362
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:58,384
Yeah.
363
00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:04,009
Oh, my God. Okay, that's it.
364
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:08,064
- You sure?
- Andy, throw it out, man.
365
00:14:10,686 --> 00:14:12,513
You're doing the right thing.
366
00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:15,230
Andy, no!
367
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,173
It's all fruit and vegetables.
368
00:14:18,178 --> 00:14:19,658
Where's the carbohydrates?
369
00:14:19,663 --> 00:14:21,493
The stuff that sticks to your ribs.
370
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:24,462
- What's good, Chiefy?
- Hey, have you spoken to Enzo?
371
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:25,707
He didn't bring any food today.
372
00:14:25,712 --> 00:14:27,649
- Hm, that's weird.
- Yeah.
373
00:14:27,654 --> 00:14:28,993
Penisi!
374
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,321
I know you've been
sleeping with my wife.
375
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:32,400
That's who you've been seeing?
376
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:33,626
I should kill you.
377
00:14:33,631 --> 00:14:35,415
Look at it as a favor, Enzo.
378
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:36,949
Now you know she can't be trusted.
379
00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:40,480
I already knew that.
She's a trophy wife.
380
00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:43,749
But I trusted you, paisano, eh, yeah.
381
00:14:43,754 --> 00:14:45,059
Now, forget it.
382
00:14:45,064 --> 00:14:47,300
You're no longer welcome in my pizzeria.
383
00:14:47,305 --> 00:14:49,109
And I cancel my sponsorship
384
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:52,222
- and no more free food.
- Uh, no, Enzo!
385
00:14:52,227 --> 00:14:53,823
You are making a grievous error.
386
00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:55,417
No, you're making the error.
387
00:14:55,422 --> 00:14:59,382
No, goodbye, Team Fire and Slice!
388
00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:01,870
- Over here.
- Okay.
389
00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,761
I guess we deserve that.
390
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:05,972
You know, everything's always about you.
391
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,050
Eddie has to say all
the lines in the ad.
392
00:15:08,055 --> 00:15:09,956
Eddie has to have sex
with the sponsor's wife.
393
00:15:09,961 --> 00:15:13,138
Can't you put the team first for once?
394
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:16,058
If you cared, you wouldn't
have eaten all that pizza,
395
00:15:16,063 --> 00:15:17,500
but now the food's gone,
396
00:15:17,505 --> 00:15:19,480
and that's what really pisses you off.
397
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,120
Okay, that's it.
398
00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:23,431
When this tournament's
over, we're finished.
399
00:15:23,436 --> 00:15:25,394
- Last dance, buddy.
- Fine.
400
00:15:25,399 --> 00:15:26,457
- Fine.
- Fine.
401
00:15:26,462 --> 00:15:27,878
- Fine!
- Fine.
402
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:29,550
Fine!
403
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,073
It's so itchy in here.
404
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:36,245
Quitting cold turkey sucks.
405
00:15:36,492 --> 00:15:38,494
Whoa, whoa! Wow!
406
00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,109
Why are you an elephant right now?
407
00:15:40,114 --> 00:15:41,902
I'm not an elephant. You're a jaguar.
408
00:15:44,328 --> 00:15:46,373
Don't put your trunk up my ass!
409
00:15:50,903 --> 00:15:53,237
I'm not doing so hot, man.
410
00:15:53,242 --> 00:15:54,808
I need that coffee.
411
00:15:55,211 --> 00:15:57,456
Yeah, I know, okay? Me too, man.
412
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,292
- You got it?
- Ugh, yeah, it's there,
413
00:16:01,297 --> 00:16:03,456
but there's a raccoon
or something eating it.
414
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,808
That's fine. Just grab the damn thing
415
00:16:04,812 --> 00:16:06,784
- and we'll eat its shit.
- What?
416
00:16:06,789 --> 00:16:08,597
Let's eat its shit.
417
00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:09,904
No, I'm not gonna grab it, Andy.
418
00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:11,528
- It's a wild animal. You...
- I'll grab it.
419
00:16:11,532 --> 00:16:13,237
No wait, don't... wait!
420
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,499
How do I make it shit?
421
00:16:18,504 --> 00:16:20,511
Squeeze it or something.
422
00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:25,105
This is Ken Walters, live streaming
423
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:28,164
from the Tacoma Fire
Department Pickleball Tournament
424
00:16:28,169 --> 00:16:29,909
from Station 24.
425
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,691
First up, we have the reigning champs,
426
00:16:32,696 --> 00:16:34,722
Team Fire and Spice
427
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:39,058
versus All that Racquet from Station 26.
428
00:16:47,421 --> 00:16:49,775
Welcome to the house of pain, bitches.
429
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:52,650
- All right, serve.
- Shut up.
430
00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:54,080
I'll serve when I'm ready.
431
00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:01,205
Whoo!
432
00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:10,658
We are "Jack'd."
433
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,564
- Eh-duh.
- Duh.
434
00:17:13,026 --> 00:17:16,697
Strength of an elephant,
quickness of a jaguar.
435
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,991
And the cunning of the almighty raccoon.
436
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,025
I'm in your garbage!
437
00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:25,650
Where's the ball? Where's the ball?
438
00:17:25,655 --> 00:17:27,752
Where's...
439
00:17:28,472 --> 00:17:30,533
My heart feels like it's
gonna come out of my chest.
440
00:17:30,538 --> 00:17:33,106
- Don't let them see.
- Hey, can I help you guys out?
441
00:17:33,111 --> 00:17:35,525
No, I think Andy just
pulled a hamstring.
442
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:37,511
- Yeah.
- We'll be right back.
443
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:38,822
Y'all better than this.
444
00:17:38,827 --> 00:17:40,775
We're gonna forfeit this one, but...
445
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:43,197
watch it.
446
00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:48,609
Whoo-hoo!
447
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,037
Whoo!
448
00:17:54,204 --> 00:17:55,780
The final match is set.
449
00:17:55,785 --> 00:17:57,257
Team Fire and Slice
450
00:17:57,262 --> 00:17:59,366
versus The Ass Kickers.
451
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,634
Hey Luc, if Granny's the kicker,
452
00:18:01,639 --> 00:18:02,901
what does that make you?
453
00:18:05,962 --> 00:18:08,146
Let's just end this and call it quits.
454
00:18:08,151 --> 00:18:09,765
Fine. After we kill these two,
455
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,570
our partnership is terminated.
456
00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:13,446
All right, let's do this.
457
00:18:13,602 --> 00:18:15,155
Ball.
458
00:18:24,168 --> 00:18:27,175
You see that?
'Cause it looks like you didn't.
459
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,050
All day.
460
00:18:33,765 --> 00:18:35,090
- Got it, got it!
- Nice!
461
00:18:39,395 --> 00:18:41,463
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
462
00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:45,395
Yeah.
463
00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:47,723
Ten-nothing, match point.
464
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:49,819
You tried your best. Thanks for coming.
465
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,051
Oh, by the way, in case
we get mobbed after we win,
466
00:18:52,056 --> 00:18:53,449
I just wanna say right now,
467
00:18:53,454 --> 00:18:54,582
good game.
468
00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:59,871
Station 24, woman stuck in
a tree. Please respond.
469
00:18:59,876 --> 00:19:01,331
We'll finish this later.
470
00:19:05,996 --> 00:19:07,520
Please hurry.
471
00:19:08,664 --> 00:19:10,754
The phone reception up here is terrible.
472
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,247
What the hell?
473
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,129
It's the newest Internet challenge.
474
00:19:14,134 --> 00:19:16,535
People climb trees, take selfies.
475
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:17,933
They call it treeing.
476
00:19:17,938 --> 00:19:19,434
It's bad news.
477
00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:20,657
Let's go, baby.
478
00:19:20,662 --> 00:19:23,231
- Let's go!
- Ike, use the ladder.
479
00:19:23,236 --> 00:19:24,599
I don't need it, Cap. I can get up.
480
00:19:24,603 --> 00:19:26,297
Ike, use the ladder.
Andy, get him up there.
481
00:19:26,301 --> 00:19:28,303
You're right, Cap. Hang tight, ma'am.
482
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:29,848
Treeing.
483
00:19:29,853 --> 00:19:32,981
Was America's obsession
with phones and selfies
484
00:19:32,986 --> 00:19:34,879
bound to head in this direction?
485
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:36,254
I think yes.
486
00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,598
Hey, fire peeps,
487
00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:42,731
there's something wrong with your guy.
488
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:50,521
Ah, guys, there's Pacific
poison oak on this tree.
489
00:19:50,526 --> 00:19:52,512
I'm allergic to Pacific poison oak.
490
00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:54,606
I can't... I can't breathe.
491
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,656
What's that?
492
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,054
This dude is having, like,
493
00:19:57,059 --> 00:19:58,864
a wack reaction.
494
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,291
Granny, Ike is having
an allergic reaction.
495
00:20:03,295 --> 00:20:05,348
Get the Epi-Pen over here now.
496
00:20:06,685 --> 00:20:08,395
I'll run it up the ladder.
Give it to me.
497
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,532
No, there's no time.
498
00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:46,107
- I'm okay!
- Yeah!
499
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,592
- Yes!
- Yes!
500
00:20:49,597 --> 00:20:51,217
- Yes!
- Great punt, Granny.
501
00:20:51,222 --> 00:20:52,748
- You did it!
- I did it!
502
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:56,271
- I got my mojo back.
- Yeah, Granny!
503
00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:57,912
Tell me you got that.
504
00:20:58,643 --> 00:21:00,645
No, I missed it.
505
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,326
This is Ken Walters, and we're back
506
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:06,865
for the finish of
the championship match.
507
00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:09,435
- Now you're done.
- All right, match point?
508
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,623
- Let's end this thing.
- My pleasure.
509
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,009
Oh!
510
00:21:17,138 --> 00:21:18,857
- What the...
- Granny, that was awesome.
511
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:19,950
I'm back, baby.
512
00:21:19,955 --> 00:21:22,013
Whoo! Okay.
513
00:21:27,057 --> 00:21:28,631
Come on!
514
00:21:31,547 --> 00:21:34,263
Oh-ho-ho-ho! The man.
515
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,849
Whoo!
516
00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:39,781
Jerk!
517
00:21:43,754 --> 00:21:45,818
Are you coming to play, or
are you just a spectator?
518
00:21:45,823 --> 00:21:46,935
Yeah, I'm a spectator.
519
00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:48,553
And I'm watching you
make a fool of yourself.
520
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,645
Let's go!
521
00:21:54,461 --> 00:21:56,776
- Oh!
- Yeah!
522
00:21:57,424 --> 00:21:59,276
10-9, our serve.
523
00:21:59,281 --> 00:22:01,971
Still match point. Still gonna be over.
524
00:22:02,095 --> 00:22:03,836
Hey, Ass Kicker,
525
00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:06,143
kick their asses.
526
00:22:06,148 --> 00:22:07,975
It's what I do best.
527
00:22:07,980 --> 00:22:09,503
Let's go! Come on.
528
00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,526
Thanks for the 500 bucks, Luc.
529
00:22:40,531 --> 00:22:43,099
You guys suck! 11 in a row.
530
00:22:43,432 --> 00:22:46,063
Winning's the best! Winning's the best.
531
00:22:46,068 --> 00:22:48,049
I'm sorry, Granny, I lost us the game.
532
00:22:48,054 --> 00:22:49,404
Hey, don't be sorry.
533
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:50,995
You know, winning isn't everything.
534
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,133
And sometimes you just
wanna go the distance,
535
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:55,416
and today I'm glad we went the distance.
536
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,416
Spoken like a true punter.
537
00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:02,720
- Side kick!
- Oh.
538
00:23:02,725 --> 00:23:03,897
Don't worry about his good side.
539
00:23:03,901 --> 00:23:04,924
They're all good.
540
00:23:05,561 --> 00:23:07,642
Boy, winning cures
everything, doesn't it?
541
00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:09,401
It sure does, man. I love you.
542
00:23:09,406 --> 00:23:11,286
I love you too.
Let's do this again next year.
543
00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:14,315
They go through the same
drama every pickleball season.
544
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,408
I gotta say,
545
00:23:15,413 --> 00:23:17,690
- your breath smells delicious.
- Hey!
546
00:23:18,781 --> 00:23:21,807
- I finally feel normal.
- Oh, me too, man.
547
00:23:21,812 --> 00:23:24,380
I was unusually messed
up for a while there.
548
00:23:24,575 --> 00:23:26,338
I take some pretty weird junk.
549
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,793
Well, I'm glad we worked through this.
550
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,424
- Is that 200?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
551
00:23:30,429 --> 00:23:31,916
Coming down baby.
552
00:23:35,901 --> 00:23:37,705
- Ah!
- Whoo!
553
00:23:38,859 --> 00:23:40,963
- Get me something to drink.
- There it is.
554
00:23:41,731 --> 00:23:44,631
- Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
- Oh, buddy, that's so good.
555
00:23:44,636 --> 00:23:46,034
This stuff is incredible, right?
556
00:23:46,039 --> 00:23:47,429
We don't need it. I'm
just having fun right now.
557
00:23:47,433 --> 00:23:49,087
- I can put it down anytime.
- Yeah, yeah,
558
00:23:49,092 --> 00:23:50,278
I mean, the only thing
that concerns me is...
559
00:23:50,282 --> 00:23:52,073
- What?
- One thing.
560
00:23:52,263 --> 00:23:54,213
Oh, yeah. I mean...
561
00:23:54,756 --> 00:23:56,193
Oof.
562
00:23:56,198 --> 00:23:58,252
Think they're ever gonna
go back to normal size?
563
00:23:58,530 --> 00:23:59,705
I don't care.
564
00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:01,407
Me neither.
565
00:24:01,631 --> 00:24:02,936
Can I get a little jab of yours?
566
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,247
No.
40012
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