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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:01,721 --> 00:00:04,289
Go, go, go, go, go!
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00:00:04,294 --> 00:00:05,469
Clear!
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,437
Okay, that never happens.
4
00:00:08,694 --> 00:00:11,615
That never happens. That never happens.
5
00:00:12,676 --> 00:00:14,773
Your helmet's too big.
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00:00:14,934 --> 00:00:17,250
- What's this?
- Oh, it's the new
7
00:00:17,255 --> 00:00:20,972
smoldering firefighter
drama, "Pamona FD."
8
00:00:21,005 --> 00:00:22,365
What do you guys watch the shows?
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00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,968
All you do sit around and complain.
10
00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:25,878
That air packs from the '90s.
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00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:27,359
- Yeah, right.
- Don't they have
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00:00:27,364 --> 00:00:28,688
a technical consultant on this show?
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00:00:28,692 --> 00:00:30,898
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Retired firefighter,
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00:00:30,903 --> 00:00:32,809
rents, like, a Mustang Convertible.
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Thinks he's hot shit. Probably related
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00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,329
to one of the creators of the show.
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00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,597
- Probs.
- Yeah, probably.
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00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:37,750
It's not even a real fire.
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Look how much makeup
that girl's wearing.
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How come I can't get the suit
21
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,297
to highlight my cheekbones like that?
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There he is taking the shirt off again.
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And now they're making out
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in the middle of a fire.
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Why do they think that
life in a fire station
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- is like a soap opera?
- It's so unrealistic.
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Guys... she's here.
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Who is?
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00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,371
You're gonna wanna
come see for yourself.
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Trust me.
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com
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There she is, boys, the Pedalton 3.0.
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Finally, cardio that doesn't suck.
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That's their tagline. It's on the box.
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Wait, 1500 bucks from Bulkshop?
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Why would you get
anything from Bulkshop?
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Because they have great prices.
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No. Bulkshop sucks.
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- Yeesh.
- Whoa, damn.
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Why does he hate Bulkshop so much?
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- I know, right?
- Ooh, the Pedalton 3.0
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has everything, man.
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Prerecorded classes, live
classes, and special events.
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Ooh, I feel bad for the suckers
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who bought the Pedalton 2.0.
46
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- Suckers.
- Suckers.
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Oh, wait, when does the 4.0 come out?
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Next month. But until then,
this is top of the line.
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- Ooh!
- Awesome!
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Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta. Step aside, Bozo.
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I'm taking her on her maiden voyage.
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- I call next.
- All right.
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Yes.
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I'll bet you wish you got next.
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Not really.
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Hi, I'm Anita Worthy,
and I'm gonna get you going
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on your new Pedalton.
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00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,227
Hello, Anita.
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You might be tempted to talk to me,
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00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:29,438
but this is a pre-recorded workout
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so I cannot hear you or respond.
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Oh, okay. Sorry.
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I won't...
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Oh, you can't hear that, either.
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What am I doing? Stop it, Ike.
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Sorry, Anita. Shit!
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You can't hear that.
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All right, gang. Let's go!
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Whoo!
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Hey, I got awesome news.
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You know how the city's
been trying to buy my house
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so they can build a new hospital?
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Well, I've been holding
it up for a year,
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00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:54,937
and they finally made an offer.
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A million bucks.
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Hey, did you hear what I said?
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The city wants to give me a
million bucks for my house.
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Okay. What are you talking about?
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- What's going on with you?
- Vicky's pissed at me.
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00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:06,306
We were binge watching
a show together on Hulu.
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- Mm.
- I watched the last
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- five episodes without her.
- Big mistake. What show?
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00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,583
It's a show about the Irish
couple, Jenny and John O'Cake.
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They join the Peace
Corps and solve crimes.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Peace O'Cake."
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- Great show.
- So good.
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- Great show.
- They planted a potato farm
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- in an African village.
- That's the best part
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- of the season right there.
- Then someone stole
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- the potatoes.
- And that's all
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- in the first episode.
- They solved it, though.
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- Yeah, of course.
- You wanna know why?
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- Why?
- It was a Piece O'Cake.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so good.
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- Oh, it was so good.
- Yeah. Well, I don't
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blame her, you know, when you exchanged
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those marital vows with my sister,
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you swore an oath of fidelity.
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They didn't have binge
cheating back then.
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- Eh.
- All right, so what's
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00:03:36,388 --> 00:03:37,892
- this thing with the city?
- They're offering me
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a million bucks for my house.
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That should curb your reckless
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- and irresponsible ways.
- Probably not.
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Ahh!
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Now as punishment,
she's gonna binge watch
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- "Mental Dental" without me.
- Ohh, boy.
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That's that show about the
dentists in the insane asylum.
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- Good show.
- Jake G-g-gyllenhaal.
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Oh, Gyllellenhaal is great in that show.
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He plays the dentist,
Dr. Frederick Mental, DDS.
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Tell you what, thought,
that's not the best
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of the dentist shows.
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The best show is the one
about the girl in 1904 Poland,
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who becomes a boy so
she could be a dentist...
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00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:04,930
- "Yentl Dentle."
- Ohh.
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Ronda Rousey's excellent in that.
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- She's so good.
- She's so good.
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- That second number she sings.
- Ah.
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- That one's great.
- I watched that one
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without Vicky, she
got mad about that too.
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Well, that's married life for you,
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and I miss it exactly zero much.
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Well, that's twice as much as
I miss being married to you.
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Oh, my God, Felicity,
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Long time, no see.
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Wow, Felicity, you look... different.
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After we got divorced,
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I became an ordained Wiccan minister.
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So you split with your
wife, and you drove her
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- to the dark arts.
- Oh, stick a sock in, Terry.
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I can put a hex on you so fast
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it'll make your head spin... literally.
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00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,452
Eddie, Sal Green is dead.
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00:04:38,457 --> 00:04:39,719
Sal Green, our divorce lawyer?
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00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,071
Yes and no.
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00:04:41,076 --> 00:04:42,466
On his deathbed he confessed
he was never
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00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:43,766
a licensed attorney.
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00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:46,188
- He was a fraud.
- So what does that mean?
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It means that every
paper we signed back then
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is null and void.
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You and I are still married.
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All right, Lance Armschlong,
time's up, buddy.
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00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:04,815
I'll have you know, Lance Armschlong
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00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,848
is a highly respected exotic dancer,
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00:05:06,853 --> 00:05:08,134
and a close personal friend of mine.
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00:05:08,138 --> 00:05:09,792
- How was it?
- Incredible.
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00:05:09,797 --> 00:05:11,277
- Really?
- My trainer was awesome.
149
00:05:11,282 --> 00:05:12,457
- Ohh!
- I mean, seriously.
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Enjoy, my butt sweat.
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00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,845
Eww.
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All right, here we go.
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Ooh.
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00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,564
- _
- Pick a name, and...
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Wow, okay.
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00:05:26,389 --> 00:05:29,712
... man3.
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Really?
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... man5.
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Are you kidding me?
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All right, you know what?
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ShoveltUpYourAss.
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Aw, man, no!
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Hi, and welcome to Pedalton.
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I'm Anita Worthy.
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Hi, Anita.
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00:05:48,657 --> 00:05:50,582
You might be tempted to speak to me.
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00:05:50,587 --> 00:05:52,668
But this is a pre-recorded workout,
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00:05:52,673 --> 00:05:55,707
so I can't hear you or respond.
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00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:57,816
Oh, that's okay. I'm
just gonna stare at you.
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00:05:57,821 --> 00:06:01,347
- You're incredible.
- Okay, let's start pedaling.
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00:06:01,352 --> 00:06:03,310
Let's go!
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00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:04,730
This is a 10-mile circuit,
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00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:06,801
so we've got some time together.
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00:06:06,806 --> 00:06:08,968
I'm gonna start by telling
you a little bit about myself.
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00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:10,160
Please do.
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00:06:10,165 --> 00:06:11,640
When I was a medic in the military,
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I used to get through tough days
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by singing acapella.
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That's me!
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00:06:15,727 --> 00:06:17,933
And I played the ukulele.
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Girl, you better stop.
I'll come marry you right now.
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00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:23,116
So what are you going
to do about it, Eddie?
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00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,761
I'm gonna find a living divorce lawyer
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and we'll get divorced for real.
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It's not that simple, dummy.
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Hey, Chief, I was gonna ask you
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about the, um...
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00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,606
Aunt Felicity, is that you?
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00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,715
- Lucy?
- Oh, my God.
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00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,939
I mean, you look so
different than the pictures.
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00:06:38,944 --> 00:06:40,863
You're so mystical.
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00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,394
Well, I went in a different direction
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00:06:42,399 --> 00:06:44,311
after Eddie cheated on me.
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00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,883
- She became a witch.
- Yes.
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Primarily so I could
lay curses on Eddie.
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00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,897
Yeah, right. What curses
have you ever laid on me?
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00:06:50,902 --> 00:06:53,238
Did you pop a nut two years ago?
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00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:54,886
Maybe.
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00:06:54,891 --> 00:06:56,504
I put a photo of you
in the freezer along
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00:06:56,509 --> 00:06:59,191
with a broken walnut
and a nasty tarot card.
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00:06:59,196 --> 00:07:00,545
It's called a freezer spell.
202
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:01,595
That's bullshit.
203
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,433
I popped your nut in '97.
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00:07:03,438 --> 00:07:05,574
And did you have teeth pulled this year?
205
00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:07,190
- Yes.
- I took pig's teeth
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00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:09,340
and put it in a bucket
of sugar for that one.
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00:07:09,609 --> 00:07:11,769
Has your back gone out lately?
208
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:13,872
- Yes.
- I made a doll of you
209
00:07:13,877 --> 00:07:15,517
and broke it in half.
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00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,827
Why put all the curses on me?
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00:07:16,832 --> 00:07:19,019
For giving Eddie an alibi
when he cheated.
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00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:20,609
I will always hate you.
213
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:21,747
But he's the one who cheated!
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00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,579
Ah! At least now you admit it.
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00:07:23,584 --> 00:07:25,566
- Ohh, she got me.
- Okay, okay.
216
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,703
Let's just get back to
the situation at hand.
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00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,418
What are we gonna do about this divorce?
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00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:31,468
I want a proper settlement this time.
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00:07:31,473 --> 00:07:33,186
I want the house, Eddie.
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00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:41,707
Anyways, I've always
hated being a leap year baby.
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00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,627
Not very many people can relate.
222
00:07:43,632 --> 00:07:46,069
If you do, give me a call.
223
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,425
I relate! I relate!
224
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:49,926
All right!
225
00:07:49,931 --> 00:07:53,032
Great job, everyone. Let's cool down.
226
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:55,355
- What do you think?
- Oh, Anita Worthy is
227
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,750
the greatest thing that
ever happened to me.
228
00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,364
- Me too.
- She's so supportive
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00:07:58,369 --> 00:07:59,841
- without being condescending.
- Yeah.
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00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,954
She's just so inspiring
without being annoying.
231
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,918
- And we...
- Have so much in common.
232
00:08:03,923 --> 00:08:05,621
Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys.
233
00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:06,801
Anita is my trainer.
234
00:08:06,806 --> 00:08:07,850
I rode with her first,
235
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,484
so that's my trainer, okay?
236
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,708
Ike, the workouts are prerecorded.
237
00:08:11,713 --> 00:08:13,808
- We can all ride with Anita.
- Mm.
238
00:08:14,813 --> 00:08:16,638
Yeah, I guess, right? I
mean, if they're pre-recorded,
239
00:08:16,642 --> 00:08:19,222
then why would we be
jealous of each other?
240
00:08:19,227 --> 00:08:20,707
- Totally.
- Sorry, guys.
241
00:08:21,619 --> 00:08:22,620
Okay, gang.
242
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:24,051
Now, just a reminder,
243
00:08:24,056 --> 00:08:26,894
for the rest of the day
during my live workouts,
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00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:29,068
Whoever gets the
highest workout score
245
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:32,832
will win a private cycle
with me tonight at 6:00 pm.
246
00:08:32,837 --> 00:08:36,450
It'll be a one-on-one session
where I'll be able to see you,
247
00:08:36,455 --> 00:08:40,111
hear you, and interact
with you and only you.
248
00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:42,560
Great job, everyone.
249
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,737
I will murder you both viciously.
250
00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:50,110
You owe it to me to give
me that house, Eddie.
251
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,769
Why are you so opposed to it?
252
00:08:51,774 --> 00:08:53,167
It's my house. I paid for it.
253
00:08:53,172 --> 00:08:54,826
Then you cheated on me.
254
00:08:54,831 --> 00:08:57,268
Only because you became very distant.
255
00:08:57,273 --> 00:08:59,710
Because you were obsessed
with Matthew Broderick.
256
00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:01,214
- That's not true.
- It's true.
257
00:09:01,219 --> 00:09:03,901
You wanted to be him in sexual roleplay.
258
00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,230
All right, I think we should go.
259
00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:06,706
No, stay.
260
00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:09,513
Eddie wanted to roleplay
in bed as Matthew Broderick
261
00:09:09,518 --> 00:09:11,955
and not the fun stuff
like "Inspector Gadget."
262
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,157
No, he wanted to be "Ladyhawke."
263
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,598
Hey, "Ladyhawke" is a great movie.
264
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:16,905
It is a good movie. Michelle Pfeiffer.
265
00:09:16,909 --> 00:09:18,182
Shut up, Terry.
266
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:20,102
Okay, okay, just give me a moment
267
00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:21,370
to process all of this.
268
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,582
It's not every day that your ex-wife
269
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:24,210
shows up with news like this.
270
00:09:26,359 --> 00:09:27,970
Hello, Eddie.
271
00:09:27,975 --> 00:09:29,128
Make that two ex-wives.
272
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,901
Oh, my God! Aunt Ulsa!
273
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,589
Hi, Lucy.
274
00:09:33,737 --> 00:09:35,870
Sal Green is dead.
275
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,095
He was never a lawyer.
276
00:09:38,199 --> 00:09:40,052
We are still married.
277
00:09:42,238 --> 00:09:43,453
When it rains, it pours.
278
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,502
Shut your mouth!
279
00:09:45,606 --> 00:09:47,893
Okay, gang, we're riding to the top
280
00:09:47,898 --> 00:09:49,534
of Gut Check Hill, who's with me?
281
00:09:49,765 --> 00:09:50,983
Whoo, baby.
282
00:09:50,988 --> 00:09:52,598
- I am, Anita.
- Right on!
283
00:09:52,603 --> 00:09:55,175
Remember, I can't hear you guys.
284
00:09:55,572 --> 00:09:58,270
Why does she ask us questions
if she can't hear our answers?
285
00:10:01,199 --> 00:10:04,420
Good start, Flyfisher21.
286
00:10:04,425 --> 00:10:07,542
You got this, GnarlyCat007.
287
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,620
Gut Check Hill is right. Come on!
288
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:19,324
Oh, don't slow down
on me, IkeOnABike.
289
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,245
I know you can do this. Let's go!
290
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,487
IkeOnABike, she said my name.
291
00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:23,710
She said my name!
292
00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:24,909
Oh, my God.
293
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,292
What kind of hill is this, Anita?
294
00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:30,944
Climbing up a wall.
295
00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:32,646
Who's pumped?
296
00:10:32,651 --> 00:10:34,354
Yes!
297
00:10:34,997 --> 00:10:36,862
Damn, this is hard!
298
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,307
Shit!
299
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,900
So, Eddie, what are we going to do?
300
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,733
- Get divorced?
- You don't have to.
301
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:48,339
We're still married.
302
00:10:48,492 --> 00:10:49,884
Your marriage never happened.
303
00:10:49,889 --> 00:10:51,235
- She makes a good point.
- She's right.
304
00:10:51,239 --> 00:10:52,659
Ulsa needed a green card.
305
00:10:52,664 --> 00:10:54,698
So my mom set her up
with Eddie as a prank.
306
00:10:54,703 --> 00:10:57,854
- The Penisi's prank so hard.
- Yes, they do.
307
00:10:57,859 --> 00:10:59,295
So Eddie married Ulsa.
308
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,264
After two years, she got her green card.
309
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,706
One week later, she
divorced him and fleeced him.
310
00:11:03,711 --> 00:11:05,974
Oof, that's pure evil.
311
00:11:05,979 --> 00:11:07,531
Wait, there's more.
312
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,018
He cheated on me.
313
00:11:09,023 --> 00:11:12,432
Oh, you ki... He cheated on me, too.
314
00:11:12,437 --> 00:11:14,784
Ohh, now it makes sense.
315
00:11:14,789 --> 00:11:16,003
Okay, hold on a second.
316
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,565
I paid both of you
ladies alimony for years.
317
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:21,197
Now if our divorce wasn't
valid, and you and I
318
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,900
were never legally married,
then I demand restitution.
319
00:11:23,905 --> 00:11:24,906
He's right.
320
00:11:24,911 --> 00:11:26,609
Shut up, Terry!
321
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:29,854
- Okay.
- I am not paying you anything,
322
00:11:29,859 --> 00:11:31,556
Edward Caesar Penisi.
323
00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:34,401
This is what you are going to do for me.
324
00:11:34,406 --> 00:11:36,550
If our marriage is null and void
325
00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:39,782
that means my citizenship
is null and void.
326
00:11:39,787 --> 00:11:41,347
I want you to marry me.
327
00:11:44,331 --> 00:11:46,638
No, freakin' way.
328
00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:51,967
Well, if you don't, I will
have you charged with bigamy!
329
00:11:53,789 --> 00:11:55,834
Why are you spit taking?
330
00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,146
She said bigamy.
331
00:11:58,906 --> 00:12:01,128
- I thought she said big Amy.
- Who's big Amy?
332
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,396
I don't know that's
why I didn't spit take.
333
00:12:03,401 --> 00:12:04,664
Andy, clean this up!
334
00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:06,279
You want me to clean up your spit?
335
00:12:13,571 --> 00:12:15,294
Where did you get the lameo clothes?
336
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:16,948
Amazon Drone, bitch.
337
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,602
It's gonna help me with my speed.
338
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,987
Yeah, I like the helmet.
Don't fall off.
339
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:24,110
You know what else I got?
340
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:28,901
State-of-the-art shoes with
click-in capabilities.
341
00:12:29,988 --> 00:12:31,441
Here we go.
342
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,831
Paid 200 bucks for these, man.
343
00:12:48,217 --> 00:12:49,574
Ahh!
344
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,340
Ahh!
345
00:12:57,622 --> 00:13:00,407
Ah! Cramp! Bad cramp!
346
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:07,753
I did it. I did it.
347
00:13:07,758 --> 00:13:09,174
There we go. Ha.
348
00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,816
Ohh, my water.
349
00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:21,022
RCW9864-O10...
350
00:13:21,142 --> 00:13:23,362
"A person is guilty of bigamy
351
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,457
"if he or she intentionally
marries another person
352
00:13:26,462 --> 00:13:29,402
"when either person has a living spouse.
353
00:13:29,407 --> 00:13:32,191
"Punishable by five years in jail.
354
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:34,253
A Class C felony."
355
00:13:34,258 --> 00:13:36,027
Doesn't sound like a classy felony.
356
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:38,902
Eddie, you're a bigamist
357
00:13:38,907 --> 00:13:41,363
and I will report you
if you don't comply.
358
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:46,535
But I will look the other way
if you marry me.
359
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:49,253
Still no.
360
00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:08,320
When did Cap learn to speak Chinese?
361
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,706
It's Swedish, Ike.
362
00:14:09,711 --> 00:14:11,031
No, I know. That's what I said.
363
00:14:11,036 --> 00:14:12,753
Like, when did you
learn to speak Swedish?
364
00:14:12,758 --> 00:14:13,919
She taught him.
365
00:14:25,409 --> 00:14:27,209
Ah, tingle button.
366
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,597
It just means the same.
367
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,816
Like, tingle button, I guess.
368
00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:31,253
Yeah, she taught him that, too.
369
00:14:31,258 --> 00:14:34,304
Chief, why is there a picture
of you in the freezer?
370
00:14:34,718 --> 00:14:36,933
And why is it attached to a pig's foot?
371
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:39,024
That's why my feet are so cold.
372
00:14:39,029 --> 00:14:40,660
Stop it with the freezer spells.
373
00:14:40,665 --> 00:14:41,876
Never!
374
00:14:48,548 --> 00:14:50,623
- Was that real?
- I don't know.
375
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,558
Hoo. Hello, hello.
376
00:14:57,578 --> 00:14:59,362
Who stole the seat?
377
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:00,933
I don't need a seat.
378
00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:04,018
Here we go.
379
00:15:06,116 --> 00:15:08,074
They took the pedals?
380
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:14,785
I don't...
381
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,226
Buh-bye.
382
00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,231
I guess I'll ride later.
383
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,431
Why are they being so mean to your dad?
384
00:15:23,436 --> 00:15:25,699
Because Uncle Eddie
made Chief lie for him.
385
00:15:25,704 --> 00:15:27,445
When his wives thought he was cheating,
386
00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:30,322
he told Felicity that he
and Eddie were at hot yoga
387
00:15:30,327 --> 00:15:32,222
and that Eddie passed
out from dehydration.
388
00:15:32,227 --> 00:15:35,317
And then he told Ulsa that
he and Eddie were skydiving,
389
00:15:35,322 --> 00:15:37,281
and that Eddie passed
out for mental exhaustion.
390
00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:38,738
Wait, wait, wait.
391
00:15:39,209 --> 00:15:42,278
Chief is into yoga and skydiving?
392
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:44,712
That's amazing.
393
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:46,704
By the way, Terry, your best man speech
394
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:48,059
was an embarrassment.
395
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:50,165
That Penisi joke. So stupid.
396
00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:52,477
He told that dumb joke
at your wedding too?
397
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:53,919
Oh, yes.
398
00:15:53,924 --> 00:15:55,401
- It's a great joke.
- I like that joke.
399
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:56,424
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah.
400
00:15:56,428 --> 00:15:57,682
- That joke killed.
- Yeah, it was a good joke.
401
00:15:57,686 --> 00:16:00,095
Chief was the best man
at both of their weddings?
402
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,486
Yeah. By the third wedding,
he really had things dialed in.
403
00:16:03,491 --> 00:16:05,363
There's a third wedding?
404
00:16:05,368 --> 00:16:07,259
Eddie...
405
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,886
we need to talk.
406
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,462
I should have expected this.
407
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:14,728
Everybody, this is my third wife Cece.
408
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,822
- Hi, Aunt Cece!
- Hey, Lucy.
409
00:16:16,827 --> 00:16:18,394
Have a seat. We are just figuring out
410
00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:20,445
- the Sal Green of it all.
- Good.
411
00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:22,148
Because I just found out
412
00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:26,289
the city is buying your
house for a million dollars.
413
00:16:26,371 --> 00:16:28,373
You lying bastard.
414
00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:39,906
Cece, how did you know that
415
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,739
I was getting a million
dollars from my house?
416
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:43,311
My family is connected, Eddie.
417
00:16:43,316 --> 00:16:44,650
We know everything.
418
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:45,961
You might recognize Aunt Cece
419
00:16:45,966 --> 00:16:48,089
by her maiden name... Bulkshop.
420
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,656
As in Bulkshop Wholesale Store?
421
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,310
- Mm-hmm.
- Ooh, she got money.
422
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,274
That's why Cap doesn't like Bulkshop.
423
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,145
Her dad tried to get
him to change his name
424
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,539
to Eddie Bulkshop.
425
00:16:57,544 --> 00:16:59,317
But in the end, she took his last name.
426
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,375
Oh, Cece Penisi.
427
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:03,773
That's... that's pretty dope, actually.
428
00:17:03,778 --> 00:17:06,172
By then, Dad's best man
toast was off the chain.
429
00:17:06,177 --> 00:17:08,078
He had it down to a tight 10.
430
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,236
Did Terry give the best
man speech for you too?
431
00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:11,329
Yes.
432
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,586
Did he do that stupid joke?
433
00:17:12,591 --> 00:17:13,805
Yes.
434
00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,812
"Congratulations. Maybe one day..."
435
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:19,120
"Eddie will put a little Penisi in you."
436
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:21,166
I don't sound like that.
437
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,641
Shut up, Terry.
438
00:17:22,646 --> 00:17:24,213
Wait, Luce, what time is it?
439
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:25,898
It's almost five.
440
00:17:25,903 --> 00:17:27,687
Ooh, Anita Worthy is about to announce
441
00:17:27,692 --> 00:17:29,965
who won the one-on-one cycle contest.
442
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,527
So, Eddie, since you
and I were never married,
443
00:17:37,532 --> 00:17:40,668
just write me a check for
the $1 million of alimony
444
00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:43,488
I have paid you over the past 15 years.
445
00:17:43,493 --> 00:17:45,408
Or just give me the house.
446
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:46,849
That house is mine, sister.
447
00:17:46,854 --> 00:17:48,203
Watch yourself, Stevie Nix.
448
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:50,020
Watch yourself, Shamrock Shake.
449
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,017
- Catfight.
- Shut up!
450
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,198
Dude, you got an
outfit and a ring light?
451
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:01,900
Hell yeah. I've gotta look sweet
452
00:18:01,905 --> 00:18:04,738
when I get my one-on-one
ride with Anita Worthy.
453
00:18:05,477 --> 00:18:07,088
Except I'm gonna be the one
454
00:18:07,093 --> 00:18:10,470
who does the one-on-one
ride with Anita, sucker.
455
00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:12,564
Hey, Tex, are you
spraying cologne right now?
456
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,523
Yeah, jealous much?
457
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,986
You guys didn't think of that, did you?
458
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:17,962
You know she can't smell
you through the screen.
459
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,451
Yeah, I know.
460
00:18:22,459 --> 00:18:24,118
It's fo... it's for atmosphere, guys.
461
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:25,643
Okay, well, both of
you guys just shut up
462
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,710
because my girlfriend's about to talk.
463
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:30,365
Okay everyone, drumroll, please.
464
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,894
"Drumroll please."
Anita you're so funny.
465
00:18:32,899 --> 00:18:34,205
- She can't hear you, Ike.
- I know.
466
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:35,689
Honestly, I keep forgetting.
467
00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:37,589
There can only be one winner.
468
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,287
So without further ado,
469
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,163
the winner of the one-on-one
470
00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,508
personal cycle is...
471
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,893
Whatever happens, guys,
I love both of you.
472
00:18:44,897 --> 00:18:45,940
Aw, thank you.
473
00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:48,774
TacomaFDStation24.
474
00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:51,907
Okay!
475
00:18:53,529 --> 00:18:56,652
That's weird because I
sabotaged both of you guys.
476
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,915
I know. I did it to you guys, too.
477
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:58,931
And I, you.
478
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:01,307
They must have thought
that the TacomaFDStation24
479
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:02,884
account was one person
480
00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:04,689
and then they added all
of our rides together.
481
00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:06,837
Oh yeah, that's why it's so awesome.
482
00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:09,715
Congrats, TacomaFDStation24.
483
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,220
- You rode for three hours.
- Ooh!
484
00:19:12,225 --> 00:19:14,227
See you soon for our one-on-one.
485
00:19:14,232 --> 00:19:15,407
How are we gonna decide
486
00:19:15,412 --> 00:19:17,545
who gets the private ride with Anita?
487
00:19:19,301 --> 00:19:20,954
- Oh, rock, paper, scissors.
- Nice.
488
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,900
- Is that...
- No, I'm gonna punch you.
489
00:19:24,588 --> 00:19:26,286
Paper.
490
00:19:26,595 --> 00:19:29,685
Okay, I was only ever
legally married to Felicity
491
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,909
but there's potential
bigamy on the table
492
00:19:31,914 --> 00:19:34,090
and some common law marriage statutes
493
00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:37,359
which have yet to be determined
that may be complicated
494
00:19:37,364 --> 00:19:40,564
by three cases of marital infidelity.
495
00:19:40,964 --> 00:19:42,009
Quit stalling, Eddie,
496
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,742
you owe me a million dollars of alimony.
497
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:44,876
And I want the house.
498
00:19:44,881 --> 00:19:46,610
I only want your hand in marriage.
499
00:19:46,615 --> 00:19:48,182
I don't have a million bucks.
500
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,816
- Yes, you do, your house.
- I used the alimony
501
00:19:50,821 --> 00:19:52,681
you paid me to pay the
alimony to these two.
502
00:19:52,686 --> 00:19:54,157
So if you make me pay you back
503
00:19:54,162 --> 00:19:56,208
then I'm making them pay me back.
504
00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:57,814
Not my problem, Eddie.
505
00:19:57,819 --> 00:20:00,952
My lawyers are already drawing
up a lawsuit as we speak.
506
00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:03,849
It's the end of the line for you, buddy.
507
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:04,942
Goo.
508
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:07,556
Oh, no, it's not.
509
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,998
I called my friend at
the Hall of Records.
510
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:13,876
Interestingly, there are
no marriage licenses filed
511
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,712
for any of your marriages.
512
00:20:16,042 --> 00:20:18,609
Now, as you ladies may recall,
513
00:20:18,614 --> 00:20:21,399
not only was I the best
man at all of your weddings,
514
00:20:21,404 --> 00:20:23,623
but I was also the justice of the peace.
515
00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:26,772
So I officiated over
all of your weddings.
516
00:20:26,777 --> 00:20:28,150
I forgot that.
517
00:20:28,155 --> 00:20:30,398
And as the officiant, it was my duty
518
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,735
to file the marriage
licenses with the county.
519
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:35,177
Unfortunately, I had a
few too many cocktails
520
00:20:35,182 --> 00:20:38,750
at my dear friend's
various wedding ceremonies,
521
00:20:38,755 --> 00:20:40,235
and I failed to do so.
522
00:20:40,284 --> 00:20:42,765
However, I checked my file cabinet,
523
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:45,556
and I found these unfiled documents
524
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,968
in a file marked "things to do."
525
00:20:48,145 --> 00:20:49,227
Okay, wait a second.
526
00:20:49,232 --> 00:20:51,843
So even my first marriage
was unofficial?
527
00:20:52,212 --> 00:20:53,952
Yes. And I'm sorry.
528
00:20:53,957 --> 00:20:55,741
No, no, no, no, not at all.
529
00:20:55,746 --> 00:20:58,879
I mean, I suppose I should
thank you for your negligence.
530
00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:01,342
Shut up, Terry. And
what does that mean?
531
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,782
It means that Eddie was never married.
532
00:21:03,787 --> 00:21:06,588
And he is as much of
a victim as any of you.
533
00:21:06,593 --> 00:21:08,740
- Yes!
- Ugh!
534
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:09,814
This is incredible.
535
00:21:09,819 --> 00:21:11,343
I'm still taking him to court.
536
00:21:11,348 --> 00:21:13,089
Then I'm taking these
two ladies to court.
537
00:21:13,094 --> 00:21:14,368
I will be deported.
538
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,418
And I'll be broke. Okay.
539
00:21:16,522 --> 00:21:19,655
That's it. I'm casting spell on you.
540
00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,367
Sweet.
541
00:21:26,974 --> 00:21:28,183
Okay, okay, okay.
542
00:21:28,188 --> 00:21:29,837
Just... let's just...
543
00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:33,548
This is all getting very
complicated, and I'm rich.
544
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:36,996
So let's just split the sale
of the house four ways
545
00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:38,568
and call it a day.
546
00:21:38,573 --> 00:21:40,464
250,000 each, mmm?
547
00:21:40,469 --> 00:21:41,469
Boom.
548
00:21:41,474 --> 00:21:43,378
But I bought the house for 250,000.
549
00:21:43,383 --> 00:21:44,723
Great. Well, then you'll come out even.
550
00:21:44,727 --> 00:21:47,213
Wait, who is going to marry me
551
00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:50,636
- so I can keep my green card?
- I'll do it. You're hot.
552
00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:52,561
But I'm going to need a prenup.
553
00:21:52,566 --> 00:21:54,667
- You got it.
- Too bad Sal Green died.
554
00:21:54,672 --> 00:21:57,223
He gave Eddie a punch card
so his fifth divorce is free.
555
00:21:57,228 --> 00:21:58,331
- Oh, yeah.
- Fifth.
556
00:21:58,336 --> 00:22:00,472
He's only been divorced three times.
557
00:22:00,698 --> 00:22:03,410
Eddie, did you hear about Sal Green?
558
00:22:03,415 --> 00:22:05,331
Yeah. We know. He's dead.
559
00:22:05,336 --> 00:22:07,321
- Hi, Aunt Olive.
- Hi, Lucy.
560
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,199
Don't waste your time,
sweetheart. You get nothing.
561
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,282
Okay. This was fun.
562
00:22:12,287 --> 00:22:14,589
- Great to see you, Cece.
- Good to see you, Eddie
563
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,136
- and you.
- Oh, yeah.
564
00:22:16,395 --> 00:22:18,332
Great to see you, Felicity.
565
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,347
- Bye.
- Bye, Felicity.
566
00:22:22,077 --> 00:22:24,949
Mm. Look at this!
567
00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:27,257
She left 20 bucks on the chair.
568
00:22:31,102 --> 00:22:32,669
Bye, Olive.
569
00:22:32,954 --> 00:22:35,392
Heh. I actually think
that was my 20 bucks.
570
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,833
Ah, well, now it's hers.
571
00:22:36,929 --> 00:22:39,444
Guys, just give up. I'm gonna win.
572
00:22:39,449 --> 00:22:41,011
No way!
573
00:22:41,016 --> 00:22:42,831
Ah, ah!
574
00:22:42,836 --> 00:22:46,100
Listen, class starts
in 15 minutes, okay?
575
00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:48,637
We're all gonna be exhausted.
We gotta figure something out.
576
00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:50,799
Station 24, drunk man
577
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,152
stuck in the shopping cart
578
00:22:52,157 --> 00:22:53,715
in the Tacomart parking lot.
579
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:54,996
28 Oak Street.
580
00:22:55,491 --> 00:22:57,371
Guys, let's go!
581
00:22:58,074 --> 00:22:59,677
- Okay.
- Come on, we do it fast,
582
00:22:59,682 --> 00:23:00,853
we'll be back before the hour's up.
583
00:23:00,857 --> 00:23:02,637
Bingo. Bango. Bongo.
584
00:23:04,821 --> 00:23:05,909
Ohh!
585
00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:19,523
TacomaFDStation24?
586
00:23:19,528 --> 00:23:21,446
- Uh, yeah.
- I'm Anita Worthy.
587
00:23:21,451 --> 00:23:23,888
- You won the contest.
- Uh...
588
00:23:23,893 --> 00:23:26,138
- You didn't know?
- No.
589
00:23:26,143 --> 00:23:28,211
But I was probably
out rescuing somebody.
590
00:23:28,401 --> 00:23:30,447
I like your mustache.
591
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,102
What a coincidence.
592
00:23:32,107 --> 00:23:33,891
It likes you too.
593
00:23:34,118 --> 00:23:37,726
Oh, my God. What is your name?
594
00:23:38,019 --> 00:23:39,456
I'm Eddie Penisi.
595
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,290
Mm. Anita Worthy Penisi.
596
00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:43,634
Has a nice ring to it.
597
00:23:43,639 --> 00:23:45,399
So we're getting married then?
598
00:23:45,404 --> 00:23:47,058
I guess so.
599
00:23:47,265 --> 00:23:50,355
I don't suppose you live
near Washington, do you?
600
00:23:50,415 --> 00:23:53,973
- Does Seattle count?
- Really? Okay.
601
00:23:53,978 --> 00:23:56,372
Hey, I am not going through this again.
602
00:23:56,377 --> 00:23:57,900
- What?
- Number five.
603
00:23:57,905 --> 00:23:59,428
Now technically, it's the first.
604
00:23:59,433 --> 00:24:00,997
Oh, come on, Terry.
605
00:24:01,002 --> 00:24:02,177
No more!
606
00:24:02,182 --> 00:24:04,125
You get to do the joke again.
43017
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