All language subtitles for Foolproof (2003) HDTVRipBHATTI87-eng

- 30 seconds. How far?

- 120, 121, 122.

- Hustle. You're only halfway.

- 10 floors. 252 steps in total.

- Including landings?
- Including landings.

- 252. No sweat. I'm there.

- Good. One minute ten.

You OK?

- Yeah...

Keep going.

- The 10th floor is secured
without lock or handle from the stairs.

Apply our acid to the door.
It'll melt through the cover

and the door hasp
in about 90 seconds.

[Bob]: What's your overall time limit?
[Sam]: Seven minutes.

- How can you be sure?
- We stake out

each guard multiple times,
and when fat boy here

leaves his post
with the newspaper,

he's gone for an average
of 12 minutes, never under seven.

- Reads while he craps?
- Don't you?

- It's through.

- Great. Run. 11 laps gets you
to the front door.

- Hamish Jewellers,

office number 1044.
Got to pick a Hodge deadbolt.

30 seconds.

- Shh!

[Toilet flushing]

[Sam]: 20.

10.

Yes! Go, get in there!

You've got 30 seconds
to bypass the alarm.

The target used is a Z-Ron Five

motion-detector system
with 30-second delay

and silent alarms to the police
and the lobby guard.

Match the line resistance and
then we place the jumper cables

here... and here.

[Computerized voice]:
Error, error, error, error...

- What?

- Error, error, error,

error, error.

- Go back. You said the system
was a Z-Ron Five.

Was it their early beta model
or a retail unit?

- Beta shmeta, what's the diff?

- Well, if it was the beta model,

then this circuit jump
wouldn't work.

In fact, it would short out.

Big time.
- How do you know a beta unit?

- Beta units are sealed

with crappy factory bolts.

Now, new models use nice,
shiny chrome, hex-head screws.

I saw them.

They're hex-head screws.

- Got a picture of the alarm box?

- No.

- Error, error.

- Sorry, no cigar.

No picture, no points.
Them's the rules. Sorry.

- All right.

I'll get the photo tomorrow.

- But, Rob,
they're hex-head screws.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a sec.
We can't show the rest?

We're going to lance a safe.

It's the coolest burn
we've ever done. Come on,

let's keep going.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Sam.

Whoa, whoa. You mind...

not doing that?

Game over. Thank you.

- See, Sam, you have to run it
flawlessly from start to finish.

Or else it's not foolproof.

- Yeah, but I wanted
to blast the safe.

- Mm. Well, sorry.

- Don't.

- Aww... relax, Rob.

You won't be needing that next time.
You want to know why?

Because it's foolproof,
that's why.

Don't walk away Eileen

- Kev, can you spot me
this round?

[Sam]: Every round.

- Sorry. Every penny
is going towards rent.

The landlord is threatening
to cut off the heat.

- Well, gee, Beaver,

maybe it's time
you get a paper route.

- Oh, ha, ha!

- Sam.

Please cut that out. Please.

- I could get a paper route,
or...

I could rob a jeweller.

- Shut up!

- Will you keep your voice down?
- Come on, you did nice work.

It's kind of like
that French gang,

who pinched the Mercury
Emeralds back in '82.

- You read ahead.

That's against the rules.
- Ljust noticed

that you didn't look into
how to, um...

fence the diamonds.

- Oh, here we go again.

- Also against the rules, Rob.

It's about the art of the crime,
not about moving stolen crap.

- But that's part of crime.
- Yeah, but not part of the game.

All I'm saying is,
why not broaden

the playing field,
raise the bar a little?

Why not look into fencing,
laundering and other stuff?

I'd be happy
to ask a few questions.

- Too risky. So, uh,
keep your mouth shut, okay?

- Well, I need more.
I say we go further.

- Really?
- Really?

- All those opposed?

- Nay.
- Nay.

- Motion denied.

Now, drop it... here.

- Put it away.
- I'm on my bike.

You hold on to it.
- No, no, no, no.

You're plan coordinator
this round. It's your job.

Now, take it.

- Kevin, relax.

You are so uptight.

- Stan, hey.
Listen, perfect timing.

I, uh, I think
you're making a big mistake,

paying out
on that basement fire.

- Oh, yeah? Why?

- Well, because I don't think
we pay insurance claims

to people who blow up
their own property.

- It was an electrical fire.

- No, no.
Take a closer look, Stan.

Check out the amount of sodium-
hypochlorite residue at the scene.

- All right, that's bleach, smart guy.
It was a laundry room?

- Nope, it's not just bleach
and not at those levels.

And not with so much hydrogen
peroxide mixed in, either.

Now, you put all those
big words together,

and what do you get?
Sodium chlorate.

Ka-boom!

Homemade bomb? Yes.

Big insurance payoff?
Not so much.

Think.

Maggie.

You look lovely today.

- What do you want?
- Can I have some courier receipts?

- Why?
- Because I've got gum.

- There's another karaoke bash
Friday night.

Perfect for getting drunk
and making a total ass of yourself.

We could, uh, go together.

- That would be nice, Maggie.

But, uh...

Weekends are kind of bad for me.

- You haven't been to a single office
function in the yearyou've been here.

People are starting to think
you're a knob.

- Really?

[Bell ringing]

Hi. How ya gawin'?

Morgan and Fairchild accounting?
Sign there.

- Oh, I'm sorry,
but you have the wrong address.

- Oh, naw.
This is unit 1044, right?

- Uh, yeah,
but we're not accountants.

We're diamond wholesalers.

- Then, we've got a bit
of a problem, don't we?

- Let me check the waybill, then.
It's in here somewhere.

Yeah, it's in one of those.

We'll have a quick look
through that.

[Mumbling]

Not even close.

Gay koala.

- Look, it says
1340 Spadina on the envelope.

- Oh, would you look...
- That's across the street.

- That would explain it, wouldn't it?
Sorry to take up yourtime...

I had some pints for breakfast...
Be lucky to find my way home.

Thank you.

Sorry about that.
It's a new camera.

Oops, ha-ha. Sorry about that.

[Scraping]

Oi, there's a chairthere.

Oh, looks like a nice set of
hex-head screws there, Rob,

you dingo's anus.

[Phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Hey, Sam, guess what?
We're foolproof.

- Shit, Kev, you won't like this.
- What's up?

- I was robbed.

- What? Are you all right?
- I'm fine.

Its just...
they broke into my place.

- Gee, Sam, I'm sorry.
Well, as long as you're all right.

- Kevin...

they took the envelope.

- The envelope?

So, that's all they took?
The laptop and the plans?

- And my gym bag, but the plans
were in my gym bag.

- Sam! You left the plans
in the gym bag?

- Probably took it
to carry the computer.

- How did they get in?

- Kicked the door.
- Smash and grab.

- Amateurs.
- Even so, they still got our plans.

- They won't contact the police.
It's just paperwork.

- It's kind of specific paperwork.

- What if they decided...
to give it a crack?

- Ha, boost the jeweller?

- Whoa, whoa, ha-ha.

We're talking about a bunch
of amateurs here, OK? Punks.

Our plan has lock-picking,
circuitry, chemistry,

not to mention some pretty
high-end hardware

to burn through that safe.

No, no, no, that's not going
to happen.

- Yeah, well, still?

It looked like
a pretty good plan.

- Pretty good? It's foolproof.

- Hell, yeah.

[Phone ringing]

One minute. Make it fast
and simple, then we got to go.

- Yeah, and try
and sound pleasant.

- Mr. Hamish, please.
- Who may I say is calling?

- It's Helen Calling.
Helen Hayes.

- Hello?

- You need to listen carefully.
This is very important.

My friends and I, uh...

Actually, you know, you might
kind of find this funny...

[pounding]

We play this game
where we figure out how to hack

through people's security...
we'd never do it.

It's more of an academic
exercise, really.

Last month, we figured out how
to break into your business.

- What?

- And now we sort of lost
the plans.

No, this is not a crank call!

I am serious.
Call Z-Ron Security.

Get them to install
a new alarm system.

Change the front door lock.
Maybe the safe.

Tell that fat guard
to poo faster.

[Rob]: Tell that fat guard
to poo faster? What was that?

[Sam]: Shut up!

[Kevin]: Who says "poo"?
What are you, eight?

To give in

Like you fight in a fight

But you know

You can't win

Don't you know you've got to

Stand up, shake it off

Look them in the eye
you can never

Get another chance
to make things right

No passing by

It felt like you never said
all the things you want to say

This is your chance

So stand up...

[door closing]

- Ach!

Learn the angles.

Think, then rethink.

Formulate that perfect plan,
Harry...

9both0: Then you can proceed
with absolute confidence.

- Yes, that is right, my friend.

Oh, God.

- See you.

- Thank you for suggesting
we talk in private, Officer, uh...

- Detective, actually.

Well, we understand it can be
awkward having police drop by.

We try to stay low-key.

- And, uh, how can I help?

- Well, Mr. Kraft. Uh...

That with a "K"?

- Yeah.

- Mr. Kraft, we received a call
on our anonymous-tips line saying...

you might be able
to shed some light on a robbery

that occurred the night before last.
The target was a business

called Hamish International.
It's a jewellery wholesaler

on Spadina. Heard of them?

- Sorry. No.

- Uh, where were you
Wednesday night?

- Um, I was, uh, I was at my-my
place, um, from about 6:00, 6:15

until I left for work
the next morning.

- Anyone there with you?
- No.

- Girlfriend?
- No.

- Do you know a Helen Hayes?
- No.

- You've never heard
of Helen Hayes?

- No.

Yeah... Helen Hayes,
the actress.

Of course I've heard of her.
I, um...

what was the, uh,
what was the movie she was in?

The Love Bug movie?

- Herbie Rides Again.

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

Um, what I meant to say
was that I don't know

any living person
named Helen Hayes.

And also that I'm sorry, uh...

I really don't think
that I can help you.

[Beeping]

- There you go.

That's a boy.

Don't worry, Jaws,
I'm not going to forget you.

[Phone ringing]
- Kevin Kraft.

- Hello, Mr. Kraft.
Did you get my invitation?

- Uh, no, um,
I mean, I don't know...

Who-who's calling, please?
- I had it delivered

this morning.
Should be in yourtop drawer.

Check in with your paper clips.

Found it?

- Yes.

- Good. We'll get together
tonight, then.

- The take was over450,000
in diamonds.

I conned their insurance company
into sharing the claim file.

Every detail is in this report.

They did the alarm jump,
the safe burn, the acid job.

It's totally our plan.

Beat for beat.

- That little thief!

There should be a law.

- It's like Carmine Desouza,
the gangster chameleon.

He'd, um, visit mobsters
in Sing Sing

and, uh, trick them
into revealing

their uh, plans forfuture hits.

Then, he'd do the jobs himself.

Never an original idea.

They cut off his privates,
you know.

- Would you get a grip?

So, do you think
that's our mystery caller?

- He looks like a sentry.
- I could take him.

Oryou could keep
your hands to yourself.

We have no idea
what we're up against here.

[Wheezing]

And you, just... be cool, Rob.

Don't say a word.

Let's not give them anything more
than they already have.

Sam, no!

- The first punch
had better kill him.

That martial-arts crap is fine,
at first,

but Kenny will keep coming.

Broken nose, broken wrist,
cracked ribs.

I've never seen him give up.

More to the point,
I've never seen him lose.

Never.

There's no need forthe pat-down
anyway, is there?

- Let go.

Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes,

so I'll keep this brief.

As you know, I stole your plans
and hit the jeweller.

And obviously,
I know where you all live,

where you work,
and... how you operate.

Now...

This is a page
from your game plan.

Now, can anyone tell me what those
grey smudges are along the edge?

- Fingerprint powder.

- Very good. And whose fingerprints
do you think are on this paper?

Well, I'll give you a hint:
It's the same three sets of prints

that are all over
that lovely little plan.

So, I'll get to the point.

You're going to work for me.

One job, full plan,

full execution.

No one gets hurt.

And you get your papers back.
- Look,

Mr...
- Gillette.

Leo Gillette.

[Kevin]: Mr. Gillette...

We're not really criminals.

- No shit.

Keep those... souvenirs
of your move up to the big league.

- We don't want to play
in any league.

- Number one, you're obviously
top-shelf strategists...

[wheezing]

Very thorough, very precise.

Numbertwo, you have
just the expertise I need

to pull off
this particular job,

and, numberthree, I don't care
what you want and don't want.

Pick those up.

[Moaning]
Don't even think

of puking in my restaurant,
boy-o.

- What's stopping us
from going to the police?

- Have you?

- I spoke to a detective
this morning.

- Yeah, but you lied to him,
didn't you?

Perfect.

I knew you would.

- We're so fucked.

- Yes.

But relax, they won't be back.

At least, not unless
I tip them off... again.

- How did you know?

- You didn't just break in and happen
to find the plans, did you?

How did you know
about Foolproof?

Was it fat mouth over here?

- Foolproof?

Is that what you call it?

I believe this is yours.

It's an impressive read.
Bold, yet meticulous, strategies.

I love the one
where you tried to figure out

how to pinch the Stanley Cup.

It's very...

Canadian.

Don't worry, I skipped
the more personal entries.

I'm a thief, not a scoundrel.

- You kept a diary of Foolproof?

- Oh, it wasn't the journal
that tipped me off.

And it wasn't, um...
- Rob.

- Fat mouth...
No, it was you, Kevin.

Yeah, one of my people
spotted you

staking out the jeweller...
several times.

So, I had you followed,

which led to the others
and, eventually,

to your little plan.

Been watching for weeks.

What are you doing?

Get your own damned dinner.

I want a call by noon tomorrow.

- Um... they-they call you
Leo The Touch,

don't they?

- I haven't heard that one
in years.

- I told you to keep
youryap shut.

"Leo The Touch,"
give me a break!

- Nice fucking car, Rob.

Yeah, well,
take the bus next time.

Wiggle the distributor cap.

- Next time? What, next time
we're summoned by the mob?

- He's not the mob.
- Here, hold this.

- Jeez.

- Okay, so who is he?

Leo Gillette... he's known
as the Midas touch of crime.

He's done bank jobs,
armoured cars.

He's smart, careful,
never a day of jail time.

He's a real pro.

[Zapping]

- Okay... options?

- Run!
- Oh, right,

I got enough airline
points to get to Buffalo.

I'd ratherface the cops.

But we already lied to them.

- He was sitting right there.
What did you want me to do, Sam?

Get you on the speaker-phone?
Talk strategy?

- Maybe we should just go
to the cops. We'll just explain.

- Explain what, Rob?
We lied to the cops.

We planned the robbery. We're
in possession of stolen diamonds.

- Shh!
- Now, I'm no lawyer,

but I'm pretty sure
we're guilty of something.

- I am not going to jail
forthis shit.

- Let's not be so fast at throwing
ourselves at the police.

We got to buy some time,
learn the angles, think.

Formulate that perfect plan,
and then we can proceed...

- With absolute confidence?
The only thing I'm confident about

right now,
is that we're absolutely fucked.

- No. No. We don't have to be.

- Maybe we should
just whack the bastard.

I'm kidding. Hello?

- Yeah, like
when you grabbed that guy?

That was hilarious, Sam.
You almost got us killed.

- Look, I had him under control.

- No. You have nothing under control.
I said to keep your hands to yourself!

- You got this guy on ourtails in
the first place. This is yourfault.

- Mine? I told you to secure the plan.
A gym bag isn't secure.

And don't even get me started

on your secret little Foolproof diary.
Talk about careless.

- Screw you!
- Stop it.

You're making it worse.

Right now, we're just going to have
to stick together on this one.

- Ah, speak foryourself.

Feeble.

So, where do you want the tour?

[Leo Gillette]: Patrice National
Investments, 22nd floor.

I suggest you take a look
at the stairwell, hallway and lobby,

and obviously,
anything on the inside.

- Any footage of sensors,
alarm panels and security cameras.

- Uh, yeah, I've done this before.
Remember?

[Leo]: In 1985, Heikrun
Technologies of Germany

issued $44 million
in capital bonds...

That's non-registered
bearer bonds... good as cash.

In two weeks,

395 of those honeys
are going to be kept here

en route
to their New York custodian.

And we're going to steal them.

- What's the denomination?

- 50 grand a bond.

- That's $20 million.

- Roughly.

I could have hired
any number of punters

to help me blast my way
in there, but there's a catch:

I need this job executed
with a perfect... finesse.

- Damn it!
- Oh, and you'd be amazed

how little finesse there is
for hire in this business.

The bottom line is,

you have finesse... you proved
that with the Hamish job.

So you get the challenge.

You have to get in and out
of there without a trace.

They can't know
they've been jacked.

- Why? You said those bonds
are as good as cash.

- Those bonds may be unregistered,
but they are numbered.

If Patrice reports them stolen,

Interpol will be watching,
and no one will cash them.

- Even if we can get in
and out clean,

somebody is going to notice
$20 million in missing bonds.

- Not if you switch them
with forgeries.

See, if they don't know
they've been robbed,

then you'd be free
to cash out the real bonds...

no questions asked.

- Very good, Robert.

Move to the front of the class.

[Rob]: So, as you can see,

the windows on the Patrice floor
are sealed tight.

[Leo]: So, ultimately,
if we can't access the windows

and there can't be
any floor or wall damage,

this doorway is the only way
into the offices.

- Right. The security panel
at Patrice Investments

is a Statlin... Alpha series.
- Card key and access code.

- One per employee, so they know
exactly who is coming and going.

- Can we jump that system?

- The entire floor is wired
with top-graded, shielded cable.

Plus they got these brutally
sensitive end-line resistors.

Try bypassing, the whole place
goes hot for sure.

- Okay...

So, we need a card
and a passcode.

- Sorry I'm late.

- We started at 9:00, Sam.

- And I said I was sorry.
- Well, this isn't part-time

at Starbucks, girlie.
When I set a time, you stick to it.

You pull this shit
on my job again,

and I'll deliveryourfingerprints
to the cops myself.

He's right, Sam. I mean,
are we professionals here...

or not?

- Ach.

So, that's 30 foot square
inside.

Does that include the tempered
shield and fireproofing?

- Where have you been?

- OK.
What's the radius on that?

- You missed the division meeting
this morning.

- I see, OK.
Uh, I'm on the phone here, Stan.

- Oh.

- Go ahead.

- You know, word is you haven't
closed a file in a week.

- OK, who verified that?

- What's wrong, brainiac?
Having trouble with the old...

- Hey, Stan?

Eat shit, 'K?

Sorry about that. Nothing.

Flushing my life
down the toilet.

What's the tumbler grading
on that vault?

And your contact verified that?

[Kevin]: Who is he?

[Sam]: His name
is Lawrence Yeager.

He's Patrice's number-two bond manager.
He's been showing up

on and off at night,
no consistent time.

- Insomniac?

- Technically, he's supposed
to be checking the opening trades

on the European bond market.

But, uh, sometimes...

it sure doesn't look
like business.

- So, what does he do?

- Hmm.

Excuse me.

[Sam]: Move over a bit.

That's it.

You like that, don't you?

Now...

take off your bra.

Smell it.

Good.

Oh, you are so...

hot.

Move your hips.

Yeah.

Now... rub

your... self.

Oh, yes!

Oh, keep...

- What?

- What?
- What?

- Mm, no-no, a hand went below
the desk, that's when I stop.

- Oooh.
- Ah.

- That's pretty creepy stuff.
- Totally.

- Ewww.
- Yeah, tell me about it.

Even the thought of saying it
out loud makes me want to gargle.

- OK, here's what we do.

Captain Phone Sex overthere
is essentially a blessing.

If we can clone his card
and bust his pass,

no flags will go up
when we go in during the night.

No. Thank you.

- And what's to stop Free Willy here
from coming back once we're inside.

- I'll keep him busy,
now that I know what he likes.

- We don't have lots of time.

We'll move on him tomorrow.

- How much contact will we have with him?
Sam, you'll need a disguise.

- Ooh!
- Oh! I'm so sorry.

- No, I'm sorry.
- I'm so clumsy.

It's these new heels.

Oh, my melons!
They're getting away.

Oh, thank you.

It's very sweet of you.

Oh, excuse me, sir?

Is this yours? Did you drop it?

[Sam]: Now.

The guard's down. Go!

OK, he's in.

[Leo]: All right.
Now, get out of there.

[Engine failing]

- Nice fucking... car, Rob.

[Leo]: Time you got yourself
a new car, kid.

It sticks out.

Not to mention it being
an affront to our environment.

Never had a woman
on my crew before.

Capone said, "Nevertrust a woman
or an automatic weapon."

- That was Dillinger.

Uh, I mean,
I... think it was Dillinger.

- So, what's the story
with you three?

- Me and Kevin met Sam
in university,

and we started hanging out
and hacking and stuff.

And then we came up with Foolproof,
and ever since then,

it's just been about the game.
- Enough games.

Time you got a life.

Here. Buck up.

It's forthe Hamish job.

Now, don't worry.
It's a square cut.

I'm good to my people.

It's your call whetheryou count
the othertwo in or not.

Just, uh...

buy a decent car.

Look sharp.

- He's on his way up.

[Elevator dinging]

- Excuse me.

Thank you, Larry.

- Oh, man, they look
pretty real to me.

- Oh, they're perfect.

- Good enough foryou to fool them
till you cash out the real ones?

- Oh, yeah.
I got this guy in Manchester.

Now, he can forge anything.

Just don't ask him
to counterfeit the British pound.

The bugger loves the Queen
like his own mother.

[Computerized voice]:
Access denied. Access denied.

- Shut up!

- Acc...

Access denied.

- Urghh! I'm warning you.

- Access denied. Access denied.

- Oh, you're so dead.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, you leave our son alone.

He's just doing his job,
aren't you, Robo-boy?

What's that, boy?
- Access de...

- Uh?

He's got gas.

You know...

You may want to lay off
the donuts.

Yeah, you might want
to lay off the donuts.

- That's the clip release.

You hold the gun straight,
you press it,

and the clip slips out,
drop free.

- What the hell is that?

- It's a.45 calibre longslide
Glock 21

with octagonal right rifting
and dual-ported barrel exhaust.

What the hell does it look like?

- No... guns.

We take that rule very seriously,
don't we, Rob?

- Hey, cool Glock.

- For Christ's sake.

Jesus! Fuck!

What's wrong with you guys?

- Take it easy, Kev.
I mean, Leo was just showing me.

It's not forthe job.
- OK Whatever.

- Here. Hold this.

Can I see?

Thanks.

- Have to admit you're
overreacting a bit, Kevin.

I mean, no offence, but, uh,
I never picked you

as the bitch of this group.

- Hey, Leo, remember how

you said you had your ass
totally covered?

Everthink that one of us
just might blow your head off?

- Sam...

- You got a better idea, Kev?

- Do you honestly think
I'd hand you a loaded gun?

There's no clip, sweetie.

- You mean the one ljust pulled
from your pocket?

Ha... and don't call me
"sweetie."

- You know something, Leo?
- Shut up, Rob.

- She's not pulling the trigger.

- Get out of the way, Rob.

- Not on me.

Not on you.

No one.

See, I know Sam.

I mean, sure,
she can kick your lights out.

But a gun?

She hasn't got the balls.

- Fuck.

- Leo...

- You shut up!

Take it.

- Please... Leo.

- All right, genius.
Let's get to work.

- Sam.

After we bypass
the laser security grid,

we have to deal
with the vault itself.

It's a keypad orientation, not unlike
the alarm panel in the lobby.

But, uh...

- But what?

- But eight digits.

- Yikes.
- And unlike the front door,

we have to hit the vault's combination
on the first three attempts.

- Three failed attempts drops the alarm.
- Exactly.

And the safe defaults to dead-set,
then no one gets in.

The vault company has to come

and reprogram
a whole new combination.

- Any way
of bypassing the keypad?

- Uh, no way... not without burning
a big, ugly hole to get at the guts.

- So, what are you thinking?

[Computerized voice]:
Warning, warning, warning.

- You're going in twice,
aren't you?

- Now you go to the front
of the class, Leo.

- Wow, you downloaded
all these recipes from the Internet?

- Yeah. My favourite
is the, uh, Hawaiian chicken,

because I-I love
canned pineapple.

- Me too. Ha-ha!
We have so much in common.

It's uncanny.

- Um, would you like
a copy of the recipe?

Everything seemed
to turn to gold and such

Well you must be

The queen of alchemy

You changed me
through and through

- Maybe we could go back
to your place and print it out?

My name is Sandi.

- I'm, I'm... I'm Larry.

- Hi, Larry.

[Phone ringing]

- Good.

Lawrence is engaged
forthe evening.

You're a go.
- Copy that.

- Oh, shit!

- What? Ooh!

- What is it? What? What?

- Oh, crikey, Rob.
- I almost stepped on it.

It could've bit me.

- I'm going to bite you
if you don't get off!

[Beeping]
- You tapped in?

- Yeah.

Um, can't we use the stairs?

- No. There's a security camera
on every third floor.

- Anyway, stairs are for girls!

Woo-hoo!

I can't hear you calling

I know that's all right

You can keep on calling me

Until you see the light

I don't need the aggravation

You're giving me all along

You you do all the chasing

But how I think
it's all wrong...

Yeah, baby!

I can't hear you calling...

I can't hear you calling

- All right, we got
120 permutations in 10 minutes.

Let's rock.

685...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
six is not one of the numbers.

- No, I listed these permutations
from the numbers you gave me.

- I never gave you the number six.
- Yes, you did.

I wrote them down:
You said, 68521.

Oh... no, 12589.

Not six.

- We are on a heist
with Gilligan.

- Do you need a juice
or something?

- Heads up.

Security is on the move.

- He is a little early, Sam.

- What do you want? I only had
a week to scout his movements.

- When will he reach this floor?

- Starts at the top.
Five minutes, maybe.

- Climb up. Track him.

[Rob]: 92815.

- Negative.

- 92158.

- Oh, shit.

[Gasping]

[Rob]: 51298.
- Negative.

- 92518.

- Negative.
- 92581.

- Negative.

[Panting]

- He is on 29. How are you coming?
- Not yet...

Don't interrupt again until
he's one floor above, then we'll bail.

Go, fast!
- 91258.

- He's on 23... get out of there.
- Negative.

- Uh, 12985. 18952.

18529.

18925.

18295.

Uh, all right,

81259.
- O K.

It's open. Get in here.
Go, Sam, go.

Go, go, now!

- Shit.

- Come on, come on, come on...

We did it. Ha-ha...

We actually broke in somewhere.

- Yeah, it feels kind of weird.

Not like I imagined.

- Yeah, now we're inside,
it feels...

not so...
- Not so bad.

- Not so scary.

- I'm feeling kind of...

kind of tingly, you know,
like right... right in here.

- Tingly?

No kidding?

- What the hell
are you thinking?!

This isn't a game. Stay focused.

And you, save your introspection
foryour diary.

[Sam]: Everything OK?

It's just, you usually pick
these in 30 seconds max.

It's coming up on four minutes.

Look, it's OK, Kev,
you just got to...

- Don't... tell me to relax.

[Whistling]

Don't...

[drilling]

Do you think
you can get under it?

- You've got to be kidding me.

- Well... we'll get you there.

Just not today.

Today you just have
to hit the buttons.

- Ha... sweet.

- Everything good?

- Yeah...

Sweet... camera's set.

[Beeping]

- Uh-oh... strike one.

- Time's ticking.

What's your status?
- Standby... asshole.

- You, uh, you sure
that will evaporate by morning?

- It will be gone. It's dry ice.

- Hoo-ah! Strike two.

Afew more hits and we'll foul
the third combination.

What?

- Nice eggy.

- All right, OK, that's enough.

Let's pack it up and move.

[Rifle firing]
- Ow! What did you do that for?

- Haven't got the balls...
my ass.

Kev!

- Where is Leo?

- Overthere.

- Then whose car is this, Rob?

- Pretty flash, huh?

See you in the morning.

[Alarm beeping]

- I don't know.
It's your damn vault.

I was punching in the numbers
and it just went crazy.

Now, get someone
down here and fix it.

- Are you guys getting this?

Somebody hit that alarm
with a chair or something!

[Rob]: Oh, God,
would you look at him?

Why doesn't somebody hit him
with a chair?

[Leo]: Oh, Sandi's the best.

That is one lucky loser.

- It's not fair.

I mean, I put my ass on the line
busting in there

and "Master Bates" is living
a freaking Penthouse fantasy.

I haven't been laid in a year.

- Liar.

- I'm not. It's been a whole year.

- Year, my ass.

I've known you for six
and you've never been laid.

[Laughing]

Sucker.

Standby, vault engineer
is out of the security area.

- Good thing you're not charging
by the hour. Took long enough.

Why couldn't we just reprogram
the old combinations?

- Security protocol.
Foryour protection.

It's in the contract.
Memorize this, then I'll destroy it.

- Punch in.

[Kevin]: Can you get it?

[Rob]: See, it's on a tilt here.

Can't hold focus.
- Then zoom in some more.

- No, it will over-pixilate.
- We can't read it.

- Let him work.

[Humphrey]: Got it.

- Oh, damn it.

- Give me a minute, all right?
I'll... roll the tape back.

I'll use
a few algorithmic filters.

[Sam]: Vault engineer
leaving the president's office.

The vault technician's
coming out of the building.

He's wearing blue coveralls. Follow
him. Don't move on him till I say.

- Hey, what are you doing?
- Just in case.

- What? You can't force
the combination from the tech.

- If I have to.
- That's not part of the plan.

- It is now.
- You said that nobody gets hurt.

- Maybe, maybe not.
My job, my call.

- No! This is my plan.
You can't go changing the rules.

- Fuck your rules!
- Fuck your job!

[Pounding]

- I got it.

Clear as a bell.

We're two days away
from $20 million.

Do not fuck this up.

- $20 million?
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
a lot of money.

A square cut...
if you don't blow this.

- Do you even remember
why we're doing this?

Fine.

Whatever.

Hey! Just don't you forget
those Hamish plans.

- Of course.

- So, then, we pulled the security
tapes from Hamish Jewellery

and, you know,
I could swearthe guy

with the glasses
and the Polaroid is you.

It's not much to go on, I know,

but it was enough
for a search warrant.

[Cop]: Nothing usable.

- Left it nice and tidy.
- Yeah.

- You black or white?

- Black.

- You are in trouble, Kevin.

White's closing in
from all sides

and you are still
playing offence.

You're too cleverforyour own good,
if you ask me.

- I didn't.

- Hi.

- Move. Where's Leo?

[Leo]: You know, for a genius,

you really can act
like an idiot, you know that!

- You said the cops
wouldn't be back!

- So you came here? You've been
followed before, Einstein!

- How smart was it to flag me
in the first place, huh?

- You could have blown
the whole job!

- I'm done down there, Kenny,
you can lock it back up.

- All right, fine.

- Leo protects his wine
like other people protect their money.

Thought I told you don't move.

- And you can keep
your damn souvenir diamonds.

As of tomorrow, all ties are cut
and we're done. Let's go.

- See you, Lurch.

- What?

- I know where our plans
are hidden.

- Now when I was
a young boy...

[pounding]

- I'm closed!

[Pounding]

...the greatest man alive

Now I'm a man...

OK, OK, OK...
Look, I'm sorry, I'm closed.

- Oh, no.
But I really need your help.

My TVwent all fuzzy,
and the game's on tonight and...

Could you take a quick look?

- Yeah, um, I'm closed.

- I'd really appreciate it.
And Leo said you were the best.

- Leo said?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, well, all right, sure.
I'll take a quick peek.

Here, let me.

No "B"

"O" child

- Damn it!

[Phone ringing]

Yeah?

- Hey, Lurch, it's Sam.

- What do you want?

[Beeping]

What the fuck?

Hang on. I got crap coming out
of this phone.

- Never mind that.
You got to listen to me.

Leo's in danger.

I think Kevin will break
into the restaurant tonight.

- What?

No way. Not going to get by...

- Don't be so sure.

Know what
dimethyl sulphoxide is?

It's a tissue solvent.

You mix it with about
4 or 5 milligrams of ketamine,

and, uh, apply it directly
to yourface

and, oh, Kenny,
you'd be out in no time.

Know what I mean?

Ken?

Kenny?

Kenny?

How long will he be out?

- That dose? 10 to 15 minutes.

Maybe a little closerto 20.

- Hello.

- All right... Step back.

Let's see here.

Hmm...

Bingo.

- Cute.

Hoo-ah!

- Check that.

I think ljust got
yourtingly feeling.

- Crikey.

- You know,

I don't remember hearing
about this part of the plan.

Did I miss an important vote
or something?

I mean, you really should have
sent me a memo.

You know, when Leo told me
you gave the diamonds back,

I knew you were making a play...
ljust knew it.

Oh...

Thank you.

Hmm... the old ultraviolet-ink-

on-the-envelope trick.

Who are you to take
this opportunity away from me?

You arrogant, feeble fuck.

- Rob, we just...

- Oh, we, we.

We... like what?
You, me and Sam?

Or we like, you and Sam
and fuck Rob!

- These gentlemen
will escort you home.

And you will remain
undertheir supervision

until we reconvene

in 19 hours and 22 minutes.

Afterthat...

none of you leaves my sight.

No more games.

- I'm going in with you
tomorrow night.

- Leo, I'll be there.
- No offence, Robert,

but if you want something protected,
you have to protect it yourself.

Show them out.

Are you sure it will evaporate
by morning?

- It will be gone.

Hey.

I have an idea.

Why don't you go help Mini-Me

take down the spy-cam
in the president's office?

- Don't be smart.

- All set.

You're sure you measured right?

- Yes, I'm sure.

You might want to exhale first.

Maybe I should give you
a go signal.

- Fine.

- Go.

- Ready.

- Seven.

- No more, Sam.

- Six.

Two.

Five.

Five.

- Found them.
Send in the dummies.

- Ha, nice try.

First, you send out the bonds,

then I send in the forgeries.

- What, you don't trust us?

Ha, so why should we trust you?

Maybe now would be a good time
to hand overthe Hamish plans.

- You get when I say.

- Here is the forged set.

All right, we'll destroy the plans
when we get back to the restaurant.

It's all right, Kev.

Leo promised.

- Hey, get the fuck
away from me.

Leo, some help moving this stuff

would get us out of here
a lot faster.

- Sam.

- What would be the point now?

- It's not overtill we're out.
Keep pushing.

- You're next.

- Rob?

What the hell are you doing?
- Rob?

[Kevin]: Stop this thing!

Hey!

- What are you doing, Rob?

What's going on?

[Kevin]: What are you doing?
[Sam]: Let us up!

- Leo, I'm not sure
I can do this.

- You're not sure?
It was your plot, mate.

Standing there, staring at me
with those cold shark eyes.

"They're dead weight, Leo,
just take them"

"out of the equation
and it's foolproof."

I knew it.

With you, it's all talk,
isn't it?

Well, next time, boy-o,

unless you've got the guts for it,
keep your mouth shut.

[Sam]: Don't let him
control you, Rob.

Just let us up. Rob!

Don't be so feeble!

[Kevin]: Think about
what you're doing.

Don't do this, Rob!

[Sam]: You traitor.
I'm going to kill you!

You're dead! You hear me?

Rob?

Dead, Rob!

- Sh... it! Oh, shit.

[Sam screaming]

[Crashing]

- Holy...

- Well, it will be a few weeks
before the cops figure out

what the hell they were doing
in that mess.

That gives us plenty of time

to climb down the shaft
at the other end of the building.

Come on.

[Panting]

- Oh, my God. Damn it!

- What?

Shit!

- Well, at least we know
where to find them.

[Zapping]

Whoa!

Jesus...

They're not in here.

- You looking forthese?

- So much forthe no-guns rule.

- Ha... don't tell Kev.

You know, I got to admit,

I knew we lost you.
[Coughing]

But this...

[panting]

You've... come a long way...
Robert.

- Come on, Sammy,
you're bleeding out.

Look, just give us the bonds

and I promise, I'll help you
till somebody gets here.

- Ha...

[sirens wailing]
- Come on, there's no time.

What do you say?

- I say... balls.

You got laid, didn't you?

[Sighing]

- How could you possibly know?

Well, it's freaky,
that's what it is.

- Yeah.

[Beeping]

Man, you jumped.

- Yeah, for a moment,
I didn't think you made it out.

[Door closing]

- What the hell happened?

- The fire started
in the basement.

By the time the alarm went,
flames were everywhere.

I couldn't get to the stuff,
Leo.

[Siren blaring]

- Leo The Touch, I presume.

- Oh, don't get familiar...
sheriff.

- It's detective, actually.
You do this?

- Why would I?

- I got an anonymous call
about a half-hour ago.

You mind?

- It's on my back.
Permit's in my wallet.

- Caller said you pulled
the Hamish diamond job.

- You can't believe anything
that comes from

that bloody Crime Stoppers line,
now, can you?

- This has been fired recently.

- Target practice.

- You target practice with blanks?

[Sam]: I say... balls.

- Leo, some help
moving this stuff

would get us out of here
a lot faster.

- Hey, Detective!

We may have found what
you're looking for in the basement.

- Well, it's not mine.
My lawyer will prove that.

- Then you won't mind
if we open it.

- Be my guest.

Mind the fingerprints.

- Looks like a bond.

- Bearer bond.

[Mason]: Get these downtown.

And, as the man says...

be careful with the prints.

Well, you're looking
a little peevish, Leo.

- Sh... it! Oh, shit.

OK. OK, you got to jump.

They're burning faster
than we thought.

You've got to get to me now.

Hey. Hey, look at me.

Hey, Sam, you look at me, OK?

We're foolproof... right?

Sam?

- Yes, Kevin.

- Hold on.

[Screaming]

Here... take my hand.

- Cute.
- You got it?

- Do you mind?
I got to get down there and die.

Good luck.

[Robot]: Hoo-ah... ha-ha-ha...
Hoo-ah...

Ha-ha-ha...

Hoo-ah... ha-ha-ha...

I was in the right place

But it must have been
the wrong time

I was saying
all the right things

But I must have used
the wrong line

And I was on the right trip

But I must have used
the wrong car

My head is in a bad place

And I wonder
what it's good for

'Cause I was
in the right place

But it must have been
the wrong time

'Cause I was
in the right world

But it seemed
like the wrong wrong wrong...

[gasping]

- Well...

- I got them.

- We did it!
- We did it!

[Screaming]

- Man, we... we did it.

I can't believe
we actually pulled it off.

We really did it.
- No...

you did it!

You pulled it off.
What a performance.

Robert, you are the man!

[Kevin]: Whoo-hoo!

- Ahh! Ha, ha...
- Hoo-ah!

- Yeah! Whoo!

- We've got one last bit of business
that we've got to deal with.

The diamonds.

- The diamonds.

- The diamonds.

- Souvenirs?

Kidding.

- You know, we never did look

into the process
of fencing diamonds, did we?

- Oh, God, Rob.
- We'll return them as planned,

for sure. All I'm saying is,

why not keep them
for a couple more days,

you know, just to see
if we learn more?

- All right, then, well, let's put it
to a vote then, shall we?

All those opposed? Nay.

Sam?

- Kidding... still kidding.

- Ha, ha...
Yeah, but you have to say "nay."

- Right.

- Sam!

- What was the motion again?

Yes!

[Sam]: Whoo! I love this car!