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1
00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:04,352
Previously on "You Me Her"...
2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,875
Izzy: So, Shaun's now
suddenly your boss
3
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,442
anda sex ninja while
4
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,183
you're stuck in
your quarter-life crisis goop.
5
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,794
That's a big-ass shift in
the power dynamic. That's rough.
6
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:14,231
You actually
named the bar Therapy?I actually did.
7
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,841
Oh, God. You're topping me
from the bottom.
8
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,540
Izzy: Well, she left a Google
search up on her laptop --
9
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,932
"tri-custody."
10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,283
It just feels like
this is all about
11
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,241
softening the blow
for when they tell me
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,200
they definitely don't want
any more kids.
13
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,202
Hey, Em. It's Gabe.
We need to talk.
14
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,594
About Jack.
15
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,205
Marty:
This is Lala.
16
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,685
Lala is
the super awesome president
17
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,383
of our
homeowners association.
18
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:38,255
Oh, she did join this daycare
co-op down the street.
19
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,257
She abducted Carmen's kids
so they'd let her in.
20
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,303
I'm going home for a nooner
with Izzy.
21
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,957
We're trying to figure out
if we can have sex in twos.
22
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,568
Oh, this was
such a good idea.
23
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,439
Emma's perfectly happy
at Binge Club.
24
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,093
Oh, my God.
25
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:57,970
♪♪
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,450
I'm waiting.
27
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:00,756
I'm confused.
28
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,497
Are you upset
that we came home to nap?
29
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,064
[ Scoffs ]
30
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,936
Well, apparently,
you had other plans.
31
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:10,896
[ Sighs ] Okay.
32
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,376
Things went
a little south
33
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,117
when we accidentally
started talking about yoooo--
34
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,380
Go. Slavia.
[ Clears throat ]
35
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,469
Yugoslavia?That's a weak effort.
I'm sorry.
36
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,168
I'm fucking
legally asleep right now.
37
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,821
All right,
here's the truth, okay?
38
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,171
Don't get mad.
39
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,695
But without you,
it just felt wrong.
40
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,131
Well,
get the fuck over it!
41
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,654
Aah!
42
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:30,873
Do you want me to feel like
the anchor? Huh?
43
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,179
Is that
what you want?
44
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,484
Me to be the one
who drags us down
45
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,051
into the dank murk
of suburban monotony
46
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,444
until this one
claws her way out?
47
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:37,749
This is weird.Yes.
48
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,316
Yes, it is.
49
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,363
Two red-blooded adults
sneak home to do the deed
50
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,452
and take
a little dodo instead.
51
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,280
Okay, hold on.
Just a s--
52
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:48,020
I'm catching up.
53
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,719
So, you're not mad about us
sneaking home to have sex
54
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,721
'cause we knew
you weren't gonna be here.
55
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:57,117
You're mad...
because...
56
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,727
Because we're doing it
all wrong. Okay?
57
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,163
We are doing it all wrong,
people!
58
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,165
This --
This is a poly foul.
59
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,993
You forgot
the whistle thing.[ Whistles ]
60
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,951
Oh, please.
Why?
I don't know,
man.
61
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,562
On his site,
Coach Remi has
62
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,999
"The Five Poly Fouls
That Will Get You Ejected."
63
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,261
Who is Coach Remi?Yeah.
64
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,523
Emma:
Coach Remi!
65
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:16,136
Portland's official
poly guru?
66
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,618
Anyway,
I've been reading his stuff,
67
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:23,795
and he has this training camp
at the downtown Marriott,
68
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,842
and...
I think we should go.
69
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:33,022
A,
that sounds dreadful.
70
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634
Oh,
that's it.
71
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,636
Yeah,
go -- go on.
72
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,812
Okay, look, the two of us
need to be able to have sex
73
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,423
without the third one
getting their feelings hurt,
74
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,816
so come on.
Come on! Come on.
75
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,079
Do what
you came here to do.
76
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,169
I'm just
gonna sit back,
77
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,345
then I'll join in
when I'm ready.
78
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,651
Like,
right now?Yeah.
79
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,653
I'm ordering you
to fornicate without me.
80
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,438
W-W--
81
00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:00,441
For me, uh,
there's never been
82
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,443
a moment
in my adult life
83
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,662
where I was
less inclined
84
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,055
to have
sexual intercourse.
85
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,404
Sorry.
86
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,363
Emma, we tried.
Seriously.
87
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,147
Like, w-we even...
I don't even know what this is.
88
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,757
Is this
a butt thing?
89
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,063
I mean, when in doubt, it's
usually a butt thing, right?
90
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,456
Here's th--
Here's the thing.
91
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,848
I think
Emma might be right.
92
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,720
I think that
[Inhales deeply]
93
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,592
waiting for all three of us to
be in precisely the right mood
94
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,464
at precisely
the right time is...
95
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,769
you know,
uh...
96
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,162
It's a poly foul.
[ Whistles ]
97
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,772
Now it's back again.
98
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,165
Okay,
enough with this bullshit.
99
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,558
Enough with
the mortgages.
100
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,081
Enough with
the pumpkin-spice candles.
101
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:35,127
We are gonna throw
a weird-ass pajama party
102
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,782
like we used to. Do you remember
how much fun that used to be?
103
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,480
And we're gonna drink,
and we're gonna vape --
104
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,395
Well, you know, you two
are gonna drink and vape.
105
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,179
But we're gonna dance,
and we're gonna laugh,
106
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,441
and we're gonna
forget about the world,
107
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,921
and before we know it,
108
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,750
we will be using
this stuff on each other.
109
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:50,447
I'm good.
110
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,319
Okay, all right.
You got a bigger mouth, anyway.
111
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,538
That's not really
my thing.
112
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,453
Ohh!
Oh, no, babe.
113
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:57,715
My goodness.We haven't actually
washed that,
114
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,935
so that's really gross.
115
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,894
♪ Just let go,
let it flow like a river ♪
116
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,549
♪ Don't overthink it
'cause you know that I deliver ♪
117
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,899
♪ I gave you what you want,
but you're gonna want more ♪
118
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,728
♪ When you come back knockin',
I'ma open that door ♪
119
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:14,297
♪ Like wooh, yeah,
you better hang on ♪
120
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:17,082
♪ You better hang on,
about to let loose, now ♪
121
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:19,737
♪ Wooh, yeah,
you better hang on ♪Lady lumps.
122
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,086
♪ Better hang on,
better hang on ♪
123
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,784
♪ Watch me
124
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,134
♪ Whoa
125
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,093
♪ I'm about to let loose now
126
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:31,271
♪ Whoa
127
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:34,230
♪ I'm about to let loose now
128
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,188
♪ La la la la la
129
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,496
♪ Here we go, here we go
130
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,237
♪ La la la la la
131
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:44,371
Emma?
132
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,330
I'm gonna check it out.
133
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:50,725
It's been over
an hour, so...
134
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:52,509
Emma?
135
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:56,078
Babe?
136
00:04:56,165 --> 00:05:01,997
Are you doing some sort of
sexy hide-and-seek thing?
137
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,915
Marco!
138
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,744
Oh, babe.
139
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,573
♪♪
140
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,923
Polo.
141
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:20,798
♪♪
142
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:24,149
Let's get you to bed,
party animal.
143
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:33,028
♪♪
144
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:35,204
♪♪
145
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,814
[ Laughter ]
146
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,077
Oh, my God,
you are the funniest.
147
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,166
[ Both laugh ]I am, aren't I?
148
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,864
Oh!
She thinks I'm funny.
149
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,300
I heard.
150
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,606
And who are you?
151
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,259
I'm, uh, Zoe.
152
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,784
The interior designer.
153
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,047
At least, I hope so.
154
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,657
[ Chuckles ]
155
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,094
Nina. Little late
for business meetings,
156
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,792
isn't it,
babe?
157
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,097
Oh, inspiration
never sleeps.
158
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,360
Girl's a genius,
Nina.
159
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,622
Concepts are so cool.
160
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,624
Oh, I'm just channeling
Shaun's vibe.
161
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:04,973
We really connect.
162
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,497
[ Chuckles ]
Creatively.
163
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,978
Yay.
That's so awesome.
164
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,459
Hey, does anyone else
need a drink?
165
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,157
I'm -- I'm gonna have...
several all at once.
166
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,419
Yeah, I'm in.
167
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,639
I will have
your driest rosé.
168
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:19,944
[ Chuckles ]
169
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,511
Hmm.
170
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,208
Oh, you, uh --
you think I'm a bartender?
171
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,906
You aren'ta bartender?
172
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,864
Well...
technically, yes.
173
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,605
But I'm also
a licensed therapist, so...
174
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:29,954
Aww.
175
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,695
"Aww"?
176
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,655
I mean, no offense, but if
you're a licensed therapist
177
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,265
working here
as a bartender,
178
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,788
there has to be
at least one "aww"...
179
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,442
Oh, no....in that story,
right?
180
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,270
[ Giggles ]
181
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,273
Well, okay, then!
182
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,840
Um, I'm just gonna go
to the back
183
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,711
and find
our bestrosé.
184
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,844
That's also where we keep the
toxic cleaning products, so...
185
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,802
[ Laughs ]
186
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,456
Oh, no.
187
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,371
[ Laughing ] You know what?
Why don't we, um...
188
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:58,069
Why don't we take a rain check
on that drink
189
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,636
until it's champagne,
huh?
190
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,464
Is that a great idea,
or is that my greatest idea?
191
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,161
[ Giggles ]
192
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,337
Uh, thank you so much
for coming in, Designs by Zoe.
193
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,600
Sounds good.
194
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,166
I'm so stoked
to work with you, Shaun.
195
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:10,386
I think we can create
something truly special here.
196
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,909
Okay, well,
you'll hear from me.
197
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,215
Or you won't!
198
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,477
Yeah, the future,
it's, uh...
199
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,871
it's so mysterious.
200
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,916
[ Laughs nervously ]
201
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,136
What the hell
was that?
202
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:24,052
[ Laughs mockingly ]
203
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,881
Dickweed.
204
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,405
♪ Oh
205
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:33,496
♪♪
206
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,758
[ Doorbell ringing ]
207
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,804
Carmen: Yeah,
you can hold her hand.
208
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,327
Hey!
Hey.
209
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,981
Are you -- you surprised
to see me?
210
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,548
I live here.[ Girls giggling ]
211
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,463
And you rang the doorbell
like 47 times, but...
212
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,943
Well, you know...
Hey, there they are!
213
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,597
Good morning,
beautiful people.Good morning.
214
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:48,946
Happy Saturday.
215
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,600
It's a great time
to be alive, huh?
216
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:51,949
Ah, truly.
217
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,560
Just lost a couple organs
in the toilet,
218
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,387
but now there's room
for the next generation
219
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,737
of beautiful people
to grow.
220
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,173
Blessed be the fruit.
221
00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,391
So, what's everyone
up to
222
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,741
this brilliant,
blissful morn?
223
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,482
I'll go first.
224
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,092
I'll be at my office
scrambling to make a deadline
225
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,790
while also watching
these lovable, little monkeys.
226
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:08,052
It's fun, right?
[ Chuckles ]
227
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,358
Unless...
228
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,968
Oh, boy.Oh, yeah, we --
229
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,492
Yeah, no, we --
230
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,015
The thing is, oh,
Emma and I have some, uh...
231
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,930
We have something.We have
some bid'ness...
232
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,279
Mm-hmm....to attend to.
233
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,715
Aw, how nice.
What kind of bid'ness?
234
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:19,977
Yeah,
what kind of bid'ness?
235
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:21,370
I don't --
that I don't know about.
236
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,763
I -- I think
it's a good question.
237
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,591
They're asking,
like, specifically.
238
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:25,853
Specifically.What are we doing?
239
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,376
Well,
this is gonna be a lie.
240
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,117
Yep.We have errands
and stuff.
241
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,814
Yeah, you know, like...
mom stuff.
242
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,381
Well, you know,
if you're going shopping,
243
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,774
Callie is --
she has an amazing eye,
244
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,166
and she's
very expressive.
245
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,559
Izzy:
Oh, yes.
246
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,430
I like to poop
at the toy store
247
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,345
because it smells
like strawberries.
248
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,999
Izzy: Cal,
I'm confused --
249
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,262
what smells like strawberries,
the toy store or your poop?
250
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,525
[ Laughter ]
251
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,789
All hail
Princess Monster Face.
252
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:53,141
We're actually getting
our hoo-has done.
Mm.
253
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,447
Uh, it's a twofer.
We're gonna surprise Jack.
254
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,188
Okay,
so 2 minutes and 13 seconds
255
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,755
to concoct
the lamest excuse ever.
256
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,235
You can do better.
257
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,150
I think.Jack: You know what? I got this.
258
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,021
You guys
can go out.
259
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:06,371
Yep, leave it
to Uncle Jack.
260
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,635
Oh, my God.
Jack, thank you.
261
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,506
You are by far
my favorite Trakarsky.
262
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,813
Always have been!Aw, that's not
saying much.
263
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,858
Okay. You girls gonna be
all right with Uncle Jack?
264
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,120
You'll just do
some drawing?
265
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,079
Yeah.Okay.
266
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,733
Okay, Carmen, we need
some girlfriend time, okay?Yeah.
267
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,212
Just you and me. And I'm dying
to catch up on "Who We Are,"
268
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,474
but I don't want
to spoil anything.
269
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,737
So,
have you caught up?
270
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,260
Oh, please.
271
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,609
I'm not caught up on sleep
or basic hygiene,
272
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,306
and yet I can't even
get nominated for
273
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:29,873
"Best Lemonade Stand
274
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,615
by an Asian-American
Who Lives in My House" award.
275
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,008
Aww.
276
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,487
Well,
it's their loss, Carm.
277
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,968
You know I'm exaggerating,
right?
278
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,101
Course I do.
279
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,233
Bye, guys.
280
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,844
Bye,
Princess Monster Face!
281
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,062
Bye!Bye, girls!
282
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:46,760
Bye, Mom.
283
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,327
[ Door closes ]
284
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:52,200
I know what you're doing,
by the way,
285
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:54,594
with your
homicidal kid smile.
286
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:57,553
It's not gonna work.
You can't scare me.
287
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,558
Okay, please stop.
[ Clears throat ]
288
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,866
Ohh, if this place
were trying any harder,
289
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,215
it's be a warehouse
full of --
290
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,564
Dicks?Yeah!
291
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,131
[ Laughing ]
292
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,176
So, Gabe wants to meet
to talk about their mom why?
293
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,657
Well, you saw
"The Great Santini."
Mm...
294
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,050
You don't know
"The Great Santini"?
295
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:17,704
Oh, my God,
it's so good.
296
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,531
So, Robert Duvall plays
this badass military dad.
297
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,881
He's trying
to toughen his kid up
298
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,273
for the cold,
cruel world.
299
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,885
Okay, I'll put it
on my watchlist. So...
300
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,669
So, their mom is,
you know,
301
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,628
like a distaff
Great Santini.
302
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,717
Mm.
She may have gone,
uh, a little overboard.
303
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,023
Yeah,
sounds like it.[ Cellphone chimes ]
304
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,895
[ Chuckles ]
305
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,245
What's so funny?
306
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,551
It's Nathan showing me
his latest assignment.
307
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,075
He's pretending
to like street meat.
308
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,685
It's so stupid.Yeah.
309
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,644
Guess humor's subjective.
Come on.
310
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,385
Let's go find him.
Okay.
311
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,824
[ Rock music playing]
312
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,652
Leave us,
Jebediah Todd.
313
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,479
[ Sighs ]
314
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,307
Are you absolutely certain
you weren't followed?
315
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,396
Why don't you just tell us
why we're here?
316
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,703
There isn't much time.Did you take cyanide?
317
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,444
No. I'm getting my nose
and ears done,
318
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,011
but I needed to talk to you
in person, away from Jack.
319
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,927
And telephones are...?Easily compromised.
320
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,972
Oh, my God.
321
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,931
We have a potentially violent
situation on our hands.
322
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,280
Mom's coming to town,
323
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,934
and Jack's gonna
make nice with her,
324
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,762
or I'm gonna go postal
on his ass.
325
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:17,372
You're kidding me.
326
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,026
Oh, my God,
he's not kidding.
327
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,941
Okay, how do I
put this delicately?
328
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,334
Um, this is the stupidest idea
I've ever heard.
329
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,119
True.
330
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,729
Well, they're both too stubborn
to make the first move,
331
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,339
so I'm gonna
make it for them.
332
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:29,732
Why are you
doing this now?
333
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,168
Okay, w-we're already
stressed enough
334
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,040
with the babies
and the house and...
335
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,781
That's why
I'm doing it.
336
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,957
Jack finally managed to go
deep enough to make babies.
337
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,306
Gross.That is disgusting.
338
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,568
But everything
he thinks he knows
339
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,526
about his own upbringing
is a lie.
340
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:44,138
And even well-intentioned lies
have consequences.
341
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:47,315
I want Jack to have his mom
at a time like this,
342
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,143
like I did.
343
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,014
It matters.
344
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,321
But he needs to know
the truth about his dad
345
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,844
to understand Mom
346
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,020
and why she was
the way she was with him.
347
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,588
The truth?
348
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:06,160
♪♪
349
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,596
God damn it, Gabe.
350
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:08,989
In the name
of all that's good in the world,
351
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,121
please pick up!Callie: Fuck!
352
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,210
I said "pick up,"
young lady.
353
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,256
Okay?
That's not even close.
354
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,866
What up, jack-off?
355
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,215
Jack: It's me.
356
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:20,130
Uh, I'm with the,
uh, Amari girls.
357
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,523
Dave's kids?
358
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,220
They're friggin', like,
little devil children.
359
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,613
I don't know
what to do.
360
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,006
Um, I gave them candy,
and now it's -- there --
361
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,398
it seems like
there's more of them,
362
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,748
like
they're multiplying.
363
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,097
What do I do?I don't know.
364
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,881
Why don't you go golfing
like a real man
365
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,143
and leave the wives
to mind the children?
366
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,754
How about that?
367
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,146
Okay, quick, look around --
is it 1956 where you're at?
368
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,931
You know, I just
keep wondering how
369
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,107
you always get the chick end
of the stick, huh? How is that?
370
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:41,499
Are you golfing?
371
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,153
Dude, real men golf
in the rain, bro.
372
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,589
Fore! Yeah.
373
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,113
Here's the thing --
374
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,768
Emma and Izzy were acting
super weird this morning.
375
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,639
They said they were gonna go out
and run some errands,
376
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,816
but it seemed very nefarious,
I have to say --
377
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,905
like they were
up to no good,
378
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,689
like they were planning
a surprise for me or something.
379
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,952
[ Laughing ]
A surprise?
380
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,432
What?!
Don't be stupid.
381
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,260
That's --
Man, you got to grow up
382
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:04,827
and stop thinking
everyone's always plotting
383
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,263
some big surprise.
384
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,656
Jeeesus! I mean...
385
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,223
Okay, now you're acting
super weird.
386
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,659
Oh, fuck off.
I am not.
387
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,356
Fuck yeah, you are.
Dickhead.
388
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,054
[ Sighs ]
Keep going.
389
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,838
You're gonna reveal yourself
in two seconds.
390
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,187
Oh, hole in one!
391
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,015
I just got a hole in one!
It's amazing!
392
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,843
You -- You got
a hole in one?
393
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,192
You just yelled "fore."
394
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,759
Yeah, a big wind
just blew it right back.
395
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,456
Oh, they're bringing
the big check! It's great!
396
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,241
They're bringing it right now!
Gotta go, bro!
397
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,897
[ Groans ]
398
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,420
♪♪
399
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,509
Oh, my God,
what the f--
400
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,859
No. Girls, no.
This can't...
401
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,774
Something has to be done
about this.
402
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,820
[ Tires screech ]
403
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,734
[ Engine revs ]
404
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,738
[ Tires screech ]
405
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:50,394
[ Engine shuts off ]
406
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:56,096
So, setting aside
the Trakarsky family curve ball
407
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,707
that Gabe
just threw at us...
408
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:01,536
Let's set it way aside --
like, in the Philippines.
409
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:07,368
I saw
on your computer
410
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,633
that you were
researching tri-custody.
411
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,722
Well, that's what you want,
isn't it, babe?
412
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,550
The three of us
to be equal parents?
413
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,686
Um...
414
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,906
Back when
my mom and dad
415
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,517
were cozy,
little drunks together,
416
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:30,086
they were big
into video games.
417
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,132
They would always
give me the controller
418
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,090
and tell me that
I was in charge of the bad guys,
419
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:39,139
and I thought I was
some amazing game player.
420
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,618
Until I found out that
421
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:41,924
there were no batteries
in the controller
422
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,621
and it was
a two-player game.
423
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:49,584
Oh, shit.
424
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,544
Hi!
Hey.
425
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:54,894
Remember the sign
everyone loves to make fun of?
426
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,547
"Slow...
Children at Play"?
427
00:14:56,634 --> 00:15:00,160
I just think the word "down"
would help somuch.
428
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,336
[ Chuckles ]
Sue me.
429
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:05,208
Would an HOA Security Division
speeding ticket suffice?
430
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,560
Uh, so, Em,
who is this person?
431
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,954
And why is she
playing cops-and-robbers
432
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,390
in our driveway?
433
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,349
I'm Lala,
HOA president.
434
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,654
And you are?
435
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,569
Uh, Izzy Silva.
436
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:19,962
Our wife.
437
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,703
Nice to meet you.
438
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,792
I have an out gay son,
so I'm cool with all that.
439
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,968
Super woke.
Cool, okay.
440
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,971
Anyway, Emma, you should know
people are talking.
441
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,581
What are they saying?
442
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,757
They're saying
that Binge Club presidency
443
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,194
is just
a launching pad
444
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,196
and that you have designs
on my job.
445
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:39,242
[ Laughing ] Not that
I'm worried, 'cause I'm not.
446
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,810
Well, uh,
maybe you should be.
447
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:44,291
So it's true.
448
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:47,729
You aregunning
for me.
449
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,819
Emma is
much too busy, uh,
450
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,517
building her
architectural empire...
451
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,128
[ Giggles ]
452
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:58,392
...to be playing neighborhood
politics with you, Lala.
453
00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,784
Did you
make up that name?
454
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,134
Nope.
455
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,744
No, it's, uh...
it's her real name.
456
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,965
[ Laughing ] No shit!
How stoned were your parents?
457
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,836
They're in recovery.
458
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,230
Okay,
you know what?
459
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:12,058
Why don't we, uh,
just call this a truce,
460
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,147
you give us the ticket,
before it gets out of hand?
461
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,800
I'll put it
in your mailbox.
462
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,368
Gosh, I hope everything
works out with the house.
463
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,718
No telling when the next one
hits the market.
464
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,329
So nice to meet you,
Lizzy.
465
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,678
"Lizzy"? Really?
466
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,462
Does it look like
I have low self-esteem
467
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,856
and that
I dye my own hair?
A little.
468
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,466
[ Laughs ]
Does it?
469
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,902
Not really.
470
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,818
Like I said,
very established neighborhood,
471
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,429
practically no turnover.
472
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,474
♪♪
473
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,868
Good luck fitting in.
474
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,391
♪♪
475
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:42,740
This is bad.
Why?
476
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,481
She's calm.
Look at her.
477
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,830
She is too calm.
478
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,702
♪♪
479
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,270
She's ridiculous,
is what she is.
480
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,749
It's gonna be fine.
481
00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,882
I'm telling you,
Lala is covering
482
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,537
something insidious,
like eternal evil.
483
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:57,755
Sounds reasonable.
484
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,366
Not to change
the subject,
485
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,281
but have you ever heard
of those high-powered executives
486
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,847
that just transfer
487
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,676
their intense but beautiful
careerist energies
488
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,549
into, uh,
neighborhood politics?
489
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,159
Welcome back.
490
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,508
Wow!
Wow!
491
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,032
Beautiful!
Looking good,
Princess.
492
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,077
Thank you. These girls
are a total nightmare.
493
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,036
I don't even care
if they hear me.
494
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,516
[ Laughs ]
So,
where were you guys?
495
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,083
And just give me
an answer quick. Don't think.
496
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,433
Yeah, we were...
we were getting our...
497
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,435
Hair.
We were getting
our hoo-has done.
498
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,176
I knew it. I knew it.
Tripped you up.
499
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,743
Why do you have
two wives?
500
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,180
I got this one.
501
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,530
Well, girls...
502
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,664
Do you want
to hear a story?
503
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,927
Once upon a time,
504
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,712
Prince Jack was put
under a spell,
505
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,584
and he was given
too much love
506
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,542
for any one princess
to handle.
507
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:48,893
But luckily,
Princess Izzy and Princess Emma
508
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,765
loved each other
very much.
509
00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:54,203
Two princesses can't
love each other, silly.
510
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,118
Well, you know --
I'll get this one.
511
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,772
Yes, actually,
they can.
512
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,861
Two princess can
love each other.
513
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:02,168
Here. Come here.
And do you know what?
514
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,560
These two princesses --
515
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,388
well,
let's put it this way.
516
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:09,000
There once was a frog,
and his name was Jack, right?
517
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,177
And not just
one princess,
518
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,570
but two princesses came by
and gave him a kiss.
519
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,094
And you know
what happened to him?
520
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,183
He turned into
a prince,
521
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:20,273
and they lived in this kingdom
of love forever and ever.
522
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,753
And the prince,
if everything goes right,
523
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,843
will someday
turn into a king.
524
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:34,374
♪♪
525
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,854
[ Cellphone chimes ]
526
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:39,944
♪♪
527
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,382
Ugh,
I got to go, guys.
528
00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:44,210
Where are you going?
529
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:45,907
Uh,
it's a Nina emergency.
530
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,604
Unroll your eyes.
531
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:48,910
Real this time.
532
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,738
[ Sighs ]
Are you okay?
533
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,174
Yeah. It's...
534
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,437
This is gonna be
you guys someday.
535
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,787
You mean this is
gonna be ussomeday.
536
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,487
Yeah.
537
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,663
Bye, girls!
538
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,578
Say bye-bye.
Bye,
Princess Izzy!
539
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,014
Bye, prince.
540
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:12,194
[ Cellphone rings ]
541
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:15,023
Hey, Carm.
How's it going?
542
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,939
Don't tell Jack, but I'm gonna
sneak home right now
543
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,637
and catch the rest
of that stupid, sappy show,
544
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,596
just so you and I
can talk about it.
545
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:26,252
I want us to be "Who We Are"
sisters from different misters,
546
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,819
always there for each other,
just like Sandra and Tracy.
547
00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:30,908
And they didn't even know
they were sisters? Really?
548
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,301
Hey, Carm,
don't even sweat it.
549
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,781
We're taking the girls
to the park.
550
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,043
Really?Yeah.
551
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,697
Like Sailor
always says,
552
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:39,003
"I love you,
and you love me,
553
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,310
and that's just
who we are."
554
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:44,444
That's so stupid,
and I'm definitely not crying.
555
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,272
Bye.[ Cellphone beeps ]
556
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,187
[ Shaky breath ]
557
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,015
Man: You'll never break us
because we know who we are.
558
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:52,495
What about you?
559
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:55,063
Huh? Do you know who you are?
560
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,847
[ Sobbing ] I'm a woman
who's sobbing
561
00:19:56,934 --> 00:20:01,069
over the tribulations
of a man who's far too handsome
562
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:04,638
to be a plumbing contractor
in real life.
563
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:07,162
But mostly
I'm just drinking alone,
564
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,730
talking to the TV,
and just imagining
565
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,776
the love of my life's
humiliating comeuppance
566
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:14,909
because I'm a jealous shithead
567
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:18,260
who just wanted him
to be my plus-one for once.
568
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,566
That's who I am!
569
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,437
Listen up, you.
570
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,917
Say what now?
571
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,701
Grandpa did not escape
Nazi Germany
572
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,660
to watch you lie down
and crumble.
573
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,052
Ah, God damn it.
574
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:29,706
My grandfather
was an immigrant, too,
575
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:31,317
and he got locked up in a camp!
576
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,101
Why does Dave get to --
577
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:36,583
We're fighters in this family,
right to the end.
578
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:39,107
That's good. That's good.
Mm-hmm.
579
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:41,283
Mm, mm.
580
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,719
Mm.
581
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:45,635
And furthermore...
582
00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:47,855
Ah, shh, shh!
583
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:51,772
Can feel a sequel brewing.
584
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:56,864
[ High-energy music plays]Nina: Mmph!
585
00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,909
[ Grunting ]
586
00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:00,781
Take that, you...
587
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,435
laughing girl!
588
00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:03,740
[ Grunts ]
589
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,787
Your insult game
is in a free fall.
590
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:10,704
Update --
Now Shaun's very presence
591
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:14,925
turns women into
giggling love zombies!
592
00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:16,187
Unh!
Nina!
593
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,189
Ow! Fuck!
Okay. Okay.
594
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,453
Oww!
How do men do that?
595
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:23,238
The better question is,
whydo men do that?
596
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,631
Okay, just...
597
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:26,023
[ Whimpering ]
598
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:28,548
Okay. Okay.
Let's, um...
599
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:31,420
[ Music stops ]...turn that off.
600
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:33,117
Okay.
601
00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:34,902
Shaun is catching
his wave.
602
00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,338
So what?
603
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,297
That's a good thing.
604
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:39,646
Mm, is it?
605
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,952
You know, he'll always
be obsessed with you.
606
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:44,825
And while things
are evening out a bit,
607
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:46,479
your upper hand
is safe.
608
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:47,915
Mm.
609
00:21:48,002 --> 00:21:50,657
So, maybe spend a little bit
more time knowing it
610
00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:53,312
and a little less time...
611
00:21:54,661 --> 00:21:56,924
...showing it?
612
00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,360
I guess?
613
00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:00,580
Mm. Mm!
614
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:02,146
Better?
615
00:22:02,233 --> 00:22:04,627
Mm.
Will you massage my hand?
616
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,803
Weird.
617
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:08,370
Only if you focus.
618
00:22:08,457 --> 00:22:10,024
[ Exhales deeply ]
619
00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:12,200
Okay, so,
one second,
620
00:22:12,287 --> 00:22:14,594
I was watching Jack and Emma
with the Amari girls.
621
00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:16,987
And the next, it was like --
it was like a --
622
00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:20,774
a home video,
with their kids, the twins.
623
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:23,167
And it was perfect.
624
00:22:23,254 --> 00:22:25,605
[ Scoffs ]
They want you in the picture.
625
00:22:25,692 --> 00:22:28,782
I know. I know.
626
00:22:28,869 --> 00:22:31,437
[ Sighs ]
627
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:34,701
I told Emma
my game-controller story.
628
00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:36,311
Why?
629
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:38,269
Because I've been
thinking about it a lot.
630
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,967
You know,
it seems like a metaphor
631
00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:41,403
for my vague
"mamacita" role.
632
00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:44,145
Oh, Iz,
that is so dark.
633
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:45,842
Well,
they have a biological dad,
634
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:47,844
and they have
a biological mom.
635
00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:49,411
So, what am I,
really?
636
00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:51,935
Like,
the cool aunt?
637
00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:54,808
Or the nanny that's, like,
become like family?
638
00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:56,331
I mean,
I don't know.
639
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:57,593
Yeah.
640
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,203
The controller
with no batteries?
641
00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:01,510
See? [ Sighs ]
642
00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:08,430
♪♪
643
00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:13,043
What if this last year
has been, like,
644
00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:17,613
the coolest,
weirdest vacation ever...
645
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:21,661
and I'm the souvenir
that they don't remember buying
646
00:23:21,748 --> 00:23:23,053
when they were drunk?
647
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:24,620
♪♪
648
00:23:24,707 --> 00:23:26,796
Emma: Do you think
she's happy?
649
00:23:26,883 --> 00:23:28,624
Which one?
650
00:23:28,711 --> 00:23:29,886
You think it's a "tears of
a clown" situation happening?
651
00:23:29,973 --> 00:23:31,148
[ Children laugh ]
652
00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:34,282
I'm talking about Izzy.
653
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:37,459
She bought us
a pumpkin-spice candle.
654
00:23:37,546 --> 00:23:38,721
She gets it.
655
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:40,244
Hawthorne Heights
is our home,
656
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:41,724
not just
a home base.
657
00:23:41,811 --> 00:23:43,422
So, she gets it,
and she wants to make it work.
658
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:44,814
Does that mean
she's happy?
659
00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:47,469
I mean, will she be happy
in two, three years?
660
00:23:47,556 --> 00:23:49,515
I don't know,
but what can we do?
661
00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:51,386
We can get help.
662
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:53,954
You talking about
that poly coach
663
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,303
and the
training camp thing?
664
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:56,913
[ Laughing ]
Come on, Em.
665
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,698
I mean, you got to admit,
it sounds a little...
666
00:24:00,917 --> 00:24:02,441
[ Sighs ]
667
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,312
...awesome?
668
00:24:04,399 --> 00:24:05,748
I was gonna say
something different,
669
00:24:05,835 --> 00:24:07,750
but your face was telling me
to say "awesome."
670
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:09,926
[ Laughing ] I know.
I thought you were going
somewhere else with that.
671
00:24:10,013 --> 00:24:13,843
I'm going
wherever you're going.
672
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:16,846
♪ Just know
that I'll understand ♪
673
00:24:16,933 --> 00:24:19,153
♪ We're gonna make it
through the stormiest weather ♪
674
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,503
When is this thing?
Tonight.
675
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,810
What?! Tonight?
[ Laughing ]
676
00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:25,420
Yeah!
You're going where I'm going.
677
00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:26,726
Count me in,
I guess.
678
00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:28,205
♪ Got to let you know
679
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:31,992
♪ We're in this together
680
00:24:35,212 --> 00:24:37,737
Mm, sure we have
the address right?
681
00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:40,174
Izzy:
Interesting Marriott.
682
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:41,871
Kind of a B&B vibe?
683
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:44,961
Yeah, well, they changed
the venue at the last minute.
684
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:46,441
Excuse me.Yeah?
685
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,748
Uh, we're, um...
686
00:24:48,835 --> 00:24:50,532
we're lost,
and we're looking --
687
00:24:50,619 --> 00:24:52,142
You're looking for
the open "gym"
688
00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:53,927
or whatever
he's calling it?
689
00:24:54,014 --> 00:24:55,755
Yeah.
690
00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:59,106
You just gonna watch me
carry in all your refreshments?
691
00:24:59,193 --> 00:25:01,064
Or do you want
to help a mother out?
692
00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:03,240
Jack will help you.Oh.
693
00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:04,503
Thank you.Sure.
694
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,679
Couple more in here.
695
00:25:08,158 --> 00:25:11,640
Ohh!
Oh, okay.
696
00:25:11,727 --> 00:25:14,164
There's no version of what's
waiting for us inside that house
697
00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:15,949
that isn't
incredibly weird.
Mnh-mnh.
698
00:25:16,036 --> 00:25:17,907
Yeah, but we can't afford
to waste 600 bucks.
699
00:25:17,994 --> 00:25:19,256
Mm.
Each.
700
00:25:19,343 --> 00:25:22,129
Wait, what?
H-How much did she say?
701
00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:24,653
♪♪
702
00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:27,613
Hey, Jack,
watch the stairs.
703
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:31,094
Woman: You can set those down
on the counter for me there.
704
00:25:31,181 --> 00:25:33,401
♪ I can only hear you
705
00:25:33,488 --> 00:25:36,012
♪ We're gonna talk about
the problem ♪
706
00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:38,580
♪ Speaking out about
the problem ♪
707
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,017
♪ Let me guess,
it's the same one ♪
708
00:25:41,104 --> 00:25:46,022
♪ I know that we are all
pictures of heaven ♪
709
00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:51,027
♪ This repetition of games
710
00:25:51,114 --> 00:25:55,031
♪ But doesn't chaos ever
get kind of boring ♪
711
00:25:55,118 --> 00:26:01,124
♪ When there's no resolution
and no change? ♪
712
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:04,084
♪ I can only hear you
49764
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