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1
00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:03,394
The adventure begins.
2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,179
Last season on "You Me Her"...
3
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,398
Carmen: You do remember
we're having everybody over
4
00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:08,791
for the game tomorrow,
right?
5
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:11,185
The point is...
are you bringing Izzy?
6
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,622
This is our choice,
and this is what we want.
7
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:16,103
Let's do it.Emma: We have some
very exciting news.
8
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,148
We're together!
We're a throuple.
9
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,976
So, you quit escorting.
10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,282
For Andy.
11
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,501
So, you're seriously
falling for him?
12
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,416
I'm scared shitless.
I can't sleep.
13
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,070
Jack: Think they even noticed
that we left?
14
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,377
Y-You don't think Emma's bi?
You think she's just, like, gay?
15
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,902
Are you mad?Who doesn't love
a spirited public cuckolding?
16
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:35,557
Shaun: You start work in 47
minutes. That's at noon.
17
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,863
You can't fulfill the duties
of a skilled bartender
18
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,561
when you're
highly inebriated.[ Stifles laugh ]
19
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,910
One more.I'm closing.
20
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,607
Wait,
so this is about a job?
21
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,522
Coolest firm in Seattle.Thanks so much, Kylie.
22
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,002
I don't -- I don't
even know what to say.
23
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,091
Everyone at Pinnacle
is "buzzing" about me.
24
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,702
Have you crossed into
seriously considering this?
25
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,139
So, scary Nina?
26
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,879
Andy: I know it's fast,
but yeah.
27
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,446
[ As Andy ]
I see you, Nina Martone.
28
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:56,578
He's a love junkie.
29
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:57,796
That --
That's his shit?
30
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,102
That's his shit.
31
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,104
Uh, how about we start
with a conversation?
32
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,323
What are you guys
talking about?
33
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,672
We want you
to have our baby.
34
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,109
Like, ourbaby.
All three of us.
35
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,371
I feel like I've just been
36
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:08,981
drifting along
and playing along.
37
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,940
And I woke up
in the middle of my life,
38
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,551
no fucking clue
who I am or what I want.
39
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,118
Jack: The house
at Hawthorne Heights
40
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,381
is always gonna just be
Jack and Emma's.
41
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,427
It's ours if we want it.No shit?
42
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:22,647
Nobody can make this place look
cooler than Emma, right?
43
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,997
I'm a romantic.
44
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,174
I see you, Andy Cutler.
45
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:28,958
Wait.
46
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,438
We have an appointment
to discuss
47
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,440
other options
today at 4:00.
48
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,006
Do you remember
what you said to me?
49
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,965
How you're not sure about
anything in your life
50
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,445
sexually,
professionally, or...
51
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,403
reproductively?Jack wants a baby.
52
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,623
Jackwants a baby.
53
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,146
Jack: I need you guys
to want it, too.
54
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,018
'Cause if you don't,
there's no reason --Jack.
55
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,803
I do. ♪ There is a light
56
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:53,983
♪ Down through the sky
57
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:59,510
♪ See the dream
as it goes by ♪
58
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,860
[ Cellphone chimes ]
59
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:06,082
♪ Past our eyes
60
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:10,391
♪ There is a cold
61
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:14,351
♪ Wind that will blow
62
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:19,487
♪ Through all the memories
63
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:22,316
♪ That we know
64
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:31,934
♪♪
65
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:37,505
♪♪
66
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:41,335
Woman: Good morning.[ Telephones ringing ]
67
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,727
Man: Hi, Emma.Hi.
68
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,468
Woman: Hi, Emma.Woman 2: Good morning.
69
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,818
♪ It's you, girl
70
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,169
♪ It's you
71
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,170
Man 2: Hey, Em. ♪ It's you, girl
72
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,432
Hi.
Good morning.
73
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,259
Hello.
74
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,174
♪♪
75
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,479
[ Applause ]
76
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,047
You did this, Em.It's really happening.
77
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,266
Mm-hmm.
78
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:08,536
♪♪
79
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:11,234
[ Sighs ]
80
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:16,152
♪♪
81
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,895
It was a bright and cheery
spring morning in Portland,
82
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,419
the perfect day
for fresh starts.
83
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,291
Or was it?
84
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,554
For brilliant
and obscenely handsome
85
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,730
psychologist
Jack Trakarsky,
86
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,689
nothing would ever
be bright and cheery again.
87
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,256
That's the worst
"Dateline" impression ever.
88
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,562
That was really
bad, right?
Yeah.
89
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,085
[ Laughs ]Okay, no peeking.
90
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,347
Okay.
Okay.
91
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:45,094
Okay, voílà.
92
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,749
The piece de resistance.
93
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,098
Wow.
94
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,274
I know it's not what
she would've done,
95
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:54,843
but, uh,
I was inspired.
96
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,236
I love it.
97
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:58,803
You hate it.
98
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,631
You totally hate,
and I-I get it.
99
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,025
I went -- I went far with
the -- with the birds...Babe.
100
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,680
...and the -- and the yellow and
the ahh, and the -- I get it.Babe.
101
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,290
I said I love it.
102
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,987
And I love you.
103
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,122
Mm.
104
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,907
Good, 'cause I couldn't
take one more day
105
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,388
in her house, surrounded by
her shit and her friends
106
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:21,261
with their catty little
home-wrecker glares.
107
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,741
Maybe there's a little
paranoia in play here?
108
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,744
Mm, I'm acutely
self-aware, so hold on...
109
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,661
Nope, I'm good.
110
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,322
Monday's the divorce signing,
right?
111
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,368
Yep.
112
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,371
Want to actually talk about it,
or is that still too radical?
113
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,721
For the millionth time,
I'm fine, okay?
114
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,679
It's water
under the bridge.
115
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,465
It's water off
a duck's back.
116
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,902
It's water --Oh, my God, stop.
117
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,251
I get it.
Yep.
118
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,123
You're a rolling river
of fineness.
119
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,734
But you have postponed
the signing twice,
120
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,213
so it's fair of me
to wonder
121
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,563
if there's something else
going on...
122
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,305
Iz, can we literally talk
about anything else?
123
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,480
Please?
124
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,090
Fine.
125
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,095
What if, um...
126
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,886
[ Exhales ]
127
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,846
[ British accent ] What if you
have a substantial estate
128
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,891
and we were
newly married?
129
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,937
But I have a secret past
130
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,549
littered with rich,
dead husbands?
131
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,335
[ Normal voice ] Which, by the
way, I've never once denied.
132
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:39,687
We're playing "Dateline"
with an accent.
133
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,906
[ British accent ]
First...
134
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:47,608
I'd lull you into complacency
with my insidious sexuality.
135
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:51,525
Mm-hmm.
136
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,135
Oh.
137
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:56,965
Cause of death --
phallic hypothermia.
Oh, dear.
138
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,795
Was the adoring doctoral
candidate with the cold hands
139
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,972
hiding an even
colder heart?
140
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,452
Seriously, you should
see a doctor about these.
141
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,757
One more word
about my hands,
142
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,933
and I will seriously
"Dateline" you.
143
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:16,376
♪♪
144
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,551
Do you like
the wallpaper?
145
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,379
Yeah.
Okay, good.
146
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:22,033
There was wallpaper?It was really
expensive.
147
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:24,471
I used your credit card.
I hope that's okay.
148
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:25,602
[ Baby crying ]
149
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,430
-Honey?
-Yeah?
150
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,127
Dave: Please tell me
you hid my shirts
151
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:31,434
like it's some sort of
a fun joke to play on Dave.
152
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,742
Otherwise, this is the only
shirt that I have left to wear.
153
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,700
Uh, crazy day yesterday.
154
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,223
Honey, I need you to
look at me for a second.
155
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,877
Well, can I just assume
that you're wearing
156
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:42,140
a ridiculously wrinkled shirt
to hammer home a point
157
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,751
with your trademark
subtlety?
158
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,144
Okay, I cannot wear
a T-shirt and blazer
159
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,581
for the fourth straight day,
all right?
160
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,321
I don't want to be the T-shirt
and blazer guy.
161
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,498
W-What,
do I manage a band?Say, here's an idea --
162
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:54,109
how about this evening, when
you're driving directly past
163
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,067
the dry cleaners with zero
screaming children in the car,
164
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,982
you hang a Louie and pick up
your own shirts, cool?
165
00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,332
Okay, the smile that launched
a thousand nightmares.
166
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:01,986
Okay, so, do it myself,
167
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,945
hang a Louie, dry cleaning,
got it, okay. Great.
168
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,990
Sorry, I'm just
a little overwhelmed.
169
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:08,297
That's fine. That's fine.
It's just, uh, you know,
170
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,734
is it possible that the amount
of whelm that you're feeling
171
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,520
is due in part to
the magazine thing?
172
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,131
You think you can
call it the magazine
173
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,654
and not "the magazine thing"
174
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,917
like it's super cute
and not at all real?
175
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,397
Are we fighting,
'cause I don't what's...
176
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,746
Okay, well,
let's review.
177
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,444
I was feeding our
two young children
178
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,576
when you entered, complaining
about the dry cleaning
179
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,404
while wearing a shirt I've been
using to clean the windows
180
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,842
for the past five years.That explains why
my chest is itchy.
181
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,017
What?
182
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:38,806
Dave, this matters
to me, okay?
183
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,722
It's not a full-time job,
but it's not a hobby, either.
184
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,898
Okay. I know.
185
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,943
And I support you 100%.
186
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,989
[ Child giggling ]Thank you.
Okay?
187
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,512
Just that while you're
188
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:52,080
doing those amazing things
out in the world,
189
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:55,736
you know, you got to also be
here, you know what I mean?
190
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:58,303
Be here?
191
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:01,568
Yeah, metaphorically speaking.
I didn't -- I don't mean --
192
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,178
Like, I'm not forbidding you
from leaving the house.
193
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,093
Oh, no.
Not that
I would do that,
194
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,399
if I -- if given the option.
Not that I would take the --
195
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,141
Okay. This is going downhill
faster than an Olympic luger.
196
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,578
Lugist?
197
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,623
Here's what I mean. Look.
198
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,278
Be here. Nope, it still
sounds douchey?
Mm, mm.
199
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,019
Okay, it sounded wise
in my head, but...
200
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,456
Can't imagine why.Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
201
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,545
Okay, I'm gonna go
202
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,592
pick out a T-shirt
and blazer combination.
203
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,071
I think that might
be fun to try.
204
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,725
Great.
There you go.
205
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,728
Nina: Okay,
so far I've got
206
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,514
"True Crime: Is Serial Killer
The New Rock Star?"
207
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:37,908
or "Fake News Therapy:
Lie Me to Sleep."
208
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:40,911
Iz?
Hm?
209
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,913
Hello?
210
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,437
Oh. Thesis titles.
211
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,743
Yeah.
Right.
212
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,179
Lay 'em on me.
213
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,441
I just did.
214
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:52,183
Then I love
the middle one.
215
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,881
Of...two.
216
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,273
I'm sorry.
217
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,580
I'm having trouble
getting Jack
218
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,975
to talk about Emma without
using the word "fine."
219
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,760
What he's really feeling
is gonna fester,
220
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:07,111
and, you know, then it's gonna
turn into whatever happens
221
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,331
when feelings fester.
222
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:13,553
It's like emotional pus.
223
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,598
Thanks for that.
Sorry.
224
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,426
Okay, look, dudes
deal differently.
225
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,429
Eventually, he's gonna
get drunk and cry ugly
226
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,387
and punch a wall
or whatever.
227
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:25,173
You seriously need to stop
worrying about the Trakarskys
228
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,871
and start sorting your own shit,
specifically your thesis
229
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:31,222
and rapidly approaching
grown-up career.
230
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:34,225
I need a plan.Yeah, no shit.
231
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:39,840
Some way to get the two of them
alone in an enclosed space.
232
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,625
Okay. You know what?
233
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,584
Think I'm just gonna...
234
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:48,544
just get up real slow,
235
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,200
walk away,
see if you notice
236
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,116
or care at all...
237
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:58,249
I'm just gonna go...
238
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,342
O-Oww!Same spot, every day
239
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:08,346
until you pitch me
your thesis! Ow!
Ow!
240
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:11,219
Your therapy techniques
are fucking weird.
241
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,485
Jack: Hm, this
is a nice surprise.
242
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,313
I wish the weather
would've cooperated.
243
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,881
What's with the '80s
Michael J. Fox ensemble?
244
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,753
Yeah, that is a story about
dry cleaning, my friend.
245
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,320
You want to hear
about that?
No.
246
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,669
Actually, I'll pass.
247
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,628
I got to tell you,
Lori moving out
248
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,760
and this Hannah person moving in
has turned out to be
249
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,415
the worst possible sequence
of events. I mean --
250
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,504
Oh, I'm sorry,
am I boring you?
251
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,114
No, just look how
cute she is.
252
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,421
No, don't throw
it again!She's not that cute.
253
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,596
Just a regular child.
254
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,032
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
255
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,948
Look at that.
What an arm you have on you.
256
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,863
Good throw.
Here you go.
257
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,039
Oh, you got to make sure she
doesn't throw a curveball
258
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,041
before high school, otherwise
the tendons in the elbow
259
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,695
will get all --
all screwed up.
260
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,872
And this one,
I just want to eat her up.
261
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,657
Okay, then,
we're just gonna go.
262
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,789
You can never be too careful,
right? Stranger danger?
263
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,922
[ Chuckles ]
I sound a little too creepy,
264
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,184
but I'm not.Yeah. Bye.
265
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:05,752
Make sure you clean
that binky.
266
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:08,624
I have some wipes if
you want them --
Okay, okay.
All right, they're gone.
267
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,452
They're gone.
See how she's fleeing
268
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:13,237
from your biological clock?
269
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,283
They were -- just
had someplace to go.
270
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,546
You just -- You don't say,
"I'm not creepy," by the way.
271
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,330
That makes you
sound creepy.
272
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,115
Hey, speaking of
fleeing from things,
273
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,464
you got your divorce
signing on Monday.
274
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,900
You want
to talk about that?
275
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,642
Did Izzy get
to you, too?
276
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,817
No.
277
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,341
Yes.
Mm.
278
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,995
But I mean, I happen to think
she has a valid point
279
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,214
in this situation.
280
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,563
[ Sighs ]
281
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,871
Okay, you know what?
J-- Tell her you tried.
282
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,178
Nice try, but,
uh...I'm good.
283
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,745
Whatever, okay?
284
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,355
Okay.
285
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:47,532
We still on for Game 1
on Saturday...
Yes.
286
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,621
...at your place
with the yard
287
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:52,102
and the sidewalk that
doesn't smell like urine?Slight change of plans.
288
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:54,670
I would actually like
to be away from kids
289
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,716
for the day, and you're the only
one that doesn't have any,
290
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,369
so...sorry.[ Cellphone chiming ]
291
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,110
Gabe's coming,
by the way.
292
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,285
Oh, I love Gabe.
Yeah.
293
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,157
Love Gabe.Said no one ever.
294
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,028
Yeah.
295
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,900
Does your biological clock
have an alarm?
296
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,292
No, but...
[ Laughs ]
297
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,730
I set this for
every 15 minutes,
298
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,122
you know, just in case
299
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,994
I need to get out of
a particularly
300
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,344
annoying conversation,
like, you know.
301
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,302
So then I can be like, "Hey,
sorry, I got a place to be.
302
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,391
Got an appointment."Yeah.
303
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,002
So I do actually
have something to do.
304
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,264
I have an appointment.
305
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266
Oh, bravo, yeah,
I get it, okay.
306
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:26,658
Okay.
Yeah.
307
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,443
Stop conspiring with
my girlfriend, okay?
308
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,140
You're heading
for a fall...
Yep.
309
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,968
...Trakarsky, that's
all I'm saying.I can't hear you.
310
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:35,015
My biological clock
is deafening.
311
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,931
[ Sighs ]
312
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,194
[ Door opens ]
313
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,152
I'm sorry, Hannah.
314
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,241
Sorry.
Rough morning.
315
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,982
[ Laughs ]
316
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,463
This is still
weird for me.
317
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:49,681
How's that?
318
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,422
Oh, it's, uh,
Lori's house.
319
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:54,469
It's cool now, but effortlessly
cool, kind of like you.
320
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,862
Ha, please.
321
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,385
If you'd seen me
eight hours ago,
322
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,996
Swiffering,
bingeing Adult Swim
323
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,043
with nothing but a tumbler
of micro batch bourbon
324
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,609
to keep me company?
325
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,524
It's like you
can't even help it.
326
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,178
[ Chuckles ]
Okay, Cal.
327
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,746
Pitch me
your best idea.
328
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,008
Poo!
329
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,618
Awesome.
330
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,403
Liking it.
331
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,927
What about poop?
A lot of poop stories out there.[ Laughs ]
332
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,320
How's this one gonna
be different?[ Laughs ]
333
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,278
Just want to flush it out,
get back to me?
334
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:24,891
Yeah? Awesome.
335
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,719
Okay, now about
your rough morning...
336
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,460
Oh, yeah, Dave
was being a bit of a --
337
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,375
Oh...
338
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,507
Mm.
Damn.
339
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,552
Damn. [ Laughs ]
340
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,598
So committed.
341
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:39,340
Oh, I think every part of you
is touching every part of me.
342
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:42,125
Mm. You know, I used to
be a toe dipper.
343
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,953
Now I'm a high diver.
344
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,825
It's in my book.
345
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,783
Jesus, you're
writing a book, too?
346
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,699
Mm. It's ostensibly
a women's travel guide,
347
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,353
but it's basically
about the journey
348
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,833
back to the essential you.
349
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:58,794
Is it weird that I want
to be you when I grow up?
350
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,752
No, not at all.
351
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,364
So, uh, who
watches the boys
352
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:06,454
when you and Rob are jetting
all over the world?
353
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,804
Uh, well,
we have a nanny,
354
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,894
like any reasonable
two-career couple.
355
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,418
Anyway, almost finished
my review on that
356
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,159
Hawthorne repertory
shit show,
357
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,901
an apt description, since it's
at least allegedly a play.
358
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,077
Um, you're shredding it?
359
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:24,646
"Five white suburban women
just discovered xenophobia
360
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,344
and now they're nobly
educating the rest of us."
361
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,869
So, I am not saying that
we have to wantonly blow
362
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,479
every potential
advertiser --
363
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:33,220
Because the Heights
is different, right?
364
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,744
We're not just another
bougie-pandering community rag.
365
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,311
Fuckin' A, sister.
366
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,835
However, the theater
is launching
367
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,793
a huge
season-pass campaign,
368
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:44,796
so we got to go full
deep throat on this one.
369
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,887
There must be something positive
about that play, right?
370
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,889
There were seats.
Yeah.
371
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,065
And a stage?
Ooh.
372
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,544
None of the actors
peed herself?
373
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,156
Ah! See? That's right off
the top of your head.
374
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,463
You know, like Rob
always says, "We --"
375
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,120
What? What is that face?
376
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,167
Dave bet me 50 bucks
Rob's not real.
377
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,082
Speaking of Dave...But were we?
378
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:12,737
...have you guys talked about
some version of child care?
379
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:16,959
I'd say we're more talking
about talking about it.
380
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,135
Look, Carm, I sure as hell
am not going to tell you
381
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,224
how to run your family,
but I am gonna tell you
382
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:24,967
that we can't publish
almost-finished theater reviews.
383
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,490
You know what I'm saying,
partner?
384
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,710
Yeah.
385
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,712
[ Chuckles ]
386
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:33,454
[ Babbles ]
387
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:42,158
♪♪
388
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:45,248
[ Gags ]
389
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,777
May I ask why you're pretending
to vomit onto your computer?
390
00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:55,998
Andy is relentlessly posting
photos of him and his dad
391
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,827
having a smile-off
somewhere in the woods.
392
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,524
Sickos.
393
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,657
Say, has anyone ever
written a thesis
394
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,355
about excessive cyberstalking
of ex-boyfriends?
395
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,227
You think there's
a clinical name for that or...?
396
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:10,143
No, but there is a clinical name
for co-workers
397
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,101
who habitually say
the stupidest shit
398
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,929
at the worst
possible moments.
399
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,497
It's called missing.
400
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,934
You deal realize you don't
scare me anymore,
401
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,502
right, 'cause our relationship
has moved way past that.
402
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,286
Oh, do tell.
403
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,289
Well, uh,
we're best buds.
404
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,163
Mejores amigos.
405
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,686
Or is it mejores amigas?
406
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,253
What's it when --
when one bestie's female,
407
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,081
the other one's male...Dude, get over it, okay?
408
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,213
We're two humans frequently
in the same structure
409
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:39,302
at the same time
who feel compelled
410
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,043
to speak to each other.
411
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:44,090
Well, methink
the lady doth --
Men suck.
412
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,005
That's my thesis.
413
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,571
Oh...
414
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:50,487
Okay, well, I recommend
something a little more
415
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,924
smarty-pants, and then --
and then how 'bout some --
416
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,927
some therapy?
"The State of
the Millennial Man."
417
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,148
Hm? 20-something dates
in 20-something days,
418
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,498
the whole aimless,
emotionally-stunted
419
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:02,847
man-child thing?
420
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,981
I want to know the hows,
whys, and what nows.
421
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,852
Mm-hmm. Okay.
Jot this one down.
422
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:11,813
Uh, we're confused.
423
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,120
Thesis written.
424
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,295
Huh?
425
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,123
You're welcome.
Next.
426
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,559
So what, you're saying
it's our fault?
427
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:21,736
Is that what
you're saying?
No. T-The --
428
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,651
No, how did you get that --
Fuck no.
429
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,957
Hell no. All the nos.Boom! Right there.
I saw it in your eyes.
430
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,742
You are definitely
still scared of me.
431
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,442
Could you please just...
432
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:37,926
just clean a glass
or something, you know?
433
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:41,582
[ Exhales ]
434
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,194
[ Glass squeaks ]
435
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:49,894
All right, I'm gonna
leave you with this
436
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:53,507
before I do both
of our jobs, as usual --
437
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,031
You think men have
spontaneously devolved,
438
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,729
but a lot has changed in
the dating and mating front,
439
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:00,383
like in leap time.
440
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,081
Lines have blurred,
gender roles are smeared --
441
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,299
Shh. Zip it, okay?
442
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,258
I've got wheels turning,
big things.
443
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:08,130
"The Vexing Plight of
the Millennial Male."
444
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,786
That's perfect.
445
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,875
That's definitely not a
rephrasing of what I just said.
446
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,964
It's my break time.
447
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:19,185
Sure, why not?
I mean, you just got here.
448
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,969
But when you come back,
you and I,
449
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,231
we're gonna have
a little sit down
450
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,278
and talk about
professional boundaries.
451
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:31,893
♪♪
452
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:35,244
Emma: Kylie?Kylie: Up here!
453
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:40,162
♪ Battle lines, battle scars,
tables are turned ♪
454
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,993
♪ On the floor,
nothing left... ♪
455
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,603
What are we
celebrating?
456
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:47,909
I mean,
aside from the fact
457
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,302
that we can't seem
to go a week
458
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,826
without closing
a new project?
459
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,610
Not to sound like
a teenage girl,
460
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,438
but it is our two-month
anniversary.
461
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,528
Seriously? Two months.
How is that even possible?
462
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,834
One month in college,
one month now.
463
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,444
Sue me. I'm a romantic.
464
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,969
Aww, Kylie.
465
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,755
Mm, how awesome
are you?
466
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,410
More than your mortal mind
can comprehend.
467
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,020
I got us into Delilah's.
468
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,804
Yeah, what?
Next Christmas?
469
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:16,590
[ Laughs ] In 20 minutes
by the window.
470
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,766
Ain't no thing.
I know a guy.
471
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,768
Well, that
is so fucking hot.
472
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,857
The things I'm gonna do to you
when we get home...
473
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,293
Oh, what a shame.
474
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,034
I don't sleep with
married women.
475
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:28,689
Yeah?
Strict policy.
476
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,517
Oh, you sure about that?
477
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,823
Oh, well, maybe it's not
so much a strict policy
478
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:35,304
as a loose guideline.
479
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:38,046
And you're single
as of Monday, so...
480
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,529
Sorry, sorry, I...
481
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,966
That was weird, I just --
I just got weird.
482
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:49,666
We're both in
uncharted waters, Em.
483
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,712
You've never been in
a committed relationship
484
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,541
with a woman before, and
I've never been with someone
485
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,152
who was married to a dude
for a million years.
486
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,285
We're good, you're good,
they're good.
487
00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:01,809
And you have nothing
to feel guilty about.
488
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,905
[ Sighs ]
489
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,254
Uh...
490
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,516
Actually, technically,
it's your slice,
491
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,257
so you're welcome to it.
492
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:16,606
Okay.
493
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,781
Wait.
494
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,523
First...
495
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,570
Take another look at how cute I
look in my boyfriend's jersey.
496
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,093
Mm-hmm.
497
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,616
Look at the pizza.
498
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,227
Now back up here.
499
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,445
Hello.
500
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,447
Now back at the pizza.Okay.
501
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:34,058
Now know that you can only have
one of these two things.
502
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:37,410
Oof.
Hmm.
503
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,543
Are you sexually manipulating me
over the last slice of pizza?
504
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:43,067
Please, I have
chloroformed people
505
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:45,200
over the last
piece of pizza.
506
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,420
Fine, it's yours.[ Giggles ]
507
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:50,553
You're the best.
508
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:52,033
[ Cellphone ringing ]
509
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,687
Mm.
510
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:58,518
Jack, are you gonna
answer it?
511
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:01,216
What do you think
she wants?
512
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,479
Only one way to find out.
513
00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:05,742
Hey, you!
514
00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,483
Emma:
Well, someone's perky.
515
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:08,658
Are you high?
516
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:11,313
Yeah, we
are super high.
517
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:14,229
Just dancing,
feeding each other pizza,
518
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,492
generally frolicking.
519
00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,015
The usge.
520
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,366
Just talk like
a normal person.
521
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,976
Well, that's --
that's awesome.
522
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:24,631
Yeah, things are -- things
are great here, too.
523
00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:28,156
Um, just scored another
big project.
524
00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:30,811
Got back from celebrating
with Kylie at the --
525
00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:34,858
the fanciest restaurant in
the Pacific Northwest, so...
526
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:37,339
Wow, you go, girl.
527
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:39,646
[ Coughs ]
I will actually
528
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,735
barf pizza
all over your face.
529
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,954
Uh, so, this is a bit
awkward, but you
530
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,782
postponed the last two
scheduled signings,
531
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:48,089
and I just want to make sure
that we're still on for Monday.
532
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:50,004
Yep, on for Monday.
533
00:21:50,047 --> 00:21:53,747
Tell Kylie
and pop some corks.
534
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,662
Um, well,
I will see you then.
535
00:21:55,705 --> 00:21:58,099
Yep, see you then.
536
00:21:58,142 --> 00:21:59,927
Bye, Jack.
537
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,624
Bye, Em.
538
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:04,888
♪♪
539
00:22:04,932 --> 00:22:07,064
[ Sighs ]
540
00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:12,940
♪♪
541
00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:15,203
What?
Are you serious?
542
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:22,297
Jack, you need to stop
whatever the fuck that was
543
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:25,431
and express some actual,
genuine emotions
544
00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:27,433
about how things went down.
545
00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:30,653
[ Sighs ]
Emma realized she's gay.
546
00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:32,873
End of story.
547
00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:34,962
We want different things,
548
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,616
and it's good that
we figured that out
549
00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:38,487
before a baby came
into the mix.
550
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:41,142
And that makes
you feel...?
551
00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:42,752
Why is this only
about me?
552
00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:45,276
You're --
You got left, too.
553
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,235
We were together
for, like, a month.
554
00:22:47,278 --> 00:22:48,976
It's hardly the same thing.
555
00:22:49,019 --> 00:22:50,630
[ Cellphone rings ]
556
00:22:50,673 --> 00:22:52,240
[ Ringing stops ]
557
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:54,764
Okay, if you were counseling us,
what would you say?
558
00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:56,723
"Assface?"
What?
559
00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:59,465
That's your da--
Is that your dad?
Oh, yeah.
560
00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:01,336
Why is he suddenly
calling you so much?
561
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,904
Well, not really
that sudden.
562
00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:05,384
Meaning?
563
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,386
Meaning he started calling
a year ago,
564
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:08,648
ramped it up
the last few weeks,
565
00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:09,823
and I don't want
to talk about it.
566
00:23:09,866 --> 00:23:11,085
[ Scoffs ]
567
00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:12,652
You don't want
to talk about it.
568
00:23:12,695 --> 00:23:14,131
You don't see the parallels
to the conversation
569
00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:15,437
we were just having?
570
00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:17,134
No.
571
00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,441
You're gonna get changed.
572
00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:22,749
Ben Silva's call has just
shaken me in a way
573
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:25,012
that can only remedied
by sweating out vodka
574
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:27,144
in a place that's just,
like, uh, uh.
575
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:29,103
You know, like,
too loud to think.
576
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:31,279
Your favorite.
All right.
577
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,237
Awesome, I am in.
578
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,849
Let's do it.
579
00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:37,328
Again.
580
00:23:38,895 --> 00:23:46,468
♪♪
581
00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,035
Bless you.
582
00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:49,558
Gabe: You look plagued,
and not with concern.
583
00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:52,039
You look like you literally
have the plague.
584
00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:55,172
The fuck ran into you?Hey, enjoy.
585
00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:57,740
There's zero chance he's
successfully eating that.
586
00:23:57,784 --> 00:23:59,916
Can't you just tell Izzy
that you're too old now
587
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,222
and you can't hang anymore.
588
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:02,397
And there's
no shame in that.
589
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,051
I mean,
we already know it.
590
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,835
I can't take much more
of this, you guys.
591
00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:07,794
I'm way closer
to 40 than 35.
592
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:09,535
Or 39,
for that matter.
593
00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:12,407
I did shots last night that
were called "Death by Dawn."
594
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,497
The title itself
is its own warning.More like a prophecy.
595
00:24:15,541 --> 00:24:17,543
She wants to have sex,
like, all the time,
596
00:24:17,586 --> 00:24:20,328
sometimes fucking every day,
twice a day...
597
00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:24,158
Wow, you poor man.I would slap your face if
you didn't look contagious.
598
00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:30,860
[ Loud gulping ]
599
00:24:30,904 --> 00:24:32,471
Really going for it.
600
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,214
[ Exhales ]So does this mean we're not
coming over to watch the game?
601
00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:38,999
What? No. No.
No bailing.
602
00:24:39,042 --> 00:24:40,696
We're going to your loft
to watch the fucking game.
603
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:42,263
Take it easy there,
Superfan.
604
00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:43,569
It's the first game
of the first round.
605
00:24:43,612 --> 00:24:45,005
You know how many butts
I had to wipe
606
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:46,310
to make this happen?
607
00:24:46,354 --> 00:24:48,312
Seriously hoping
it's just the two.
608
00:24:48,356 --> 00:24:50,532
We're watching the game, okay?
I need the distraction.
609
00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:52,229
Divorce signing thing
still on for Monday?
610
00:24:52,273 --> 00:24:54,275
Oh, buddy, is that what
this is about?
Are you okay?
611
00:24:54,318 --> 00:24:55,885
Do you want to
talk about it?
Need a suit?
612
00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:58,322
You two are literally
the last people in the world
613
00:24:58,366 --> 00:24:59,541
I would want to talk to
about it, okay?
614
00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:00,977
Excuse me?
What?
615
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,414
I think Izzy must be
hung over, too, right?
616
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,678
I mean, she's young,
but she's still human.
617
00:25:05,721 --> 00:25:09,029
All better?Like it never happened.
618
00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:11,988
One more, we can accidentally
slide into a day rage.
619
00:25:12,032 --> 00:25:13,337
Whoo!
620
00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:15,688
Uh, no can do, sister.
621
00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:18,691
I'm enacting
a devious plan.
622
00:25:18,734 --> 00:25:22,303
Um, I love devious plans
even more than day raging.
623
00:25:22,346 --> 00:25:23,957
Tell me.
I know. Okay.
624
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,350
So, last night,
I texted Emma
625
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:28,439
that Jack and I would be
out of the loft all day
626
00:25:28,483 --> 00:25:30,441
so she could come deal
with all the shit that
we've been storing.
627
00:25:30,485 --> 00:25:32,574
I left her a key.I'm starting to think
628
00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:34,402
you don't actually know
what the word "devious" means.
629
00:25:34,445 --> 00:25:36,447
I'm not done.
And then I recruited Dave --
630
00:25:36,491 --> 00:25:39,189
you know, Jack's weird friend
with all the kids --
631
00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:42,018
to make sure that
they would be in the loft
632
00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:44,281
watching the game.
633
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:46,066
Get it?
634
00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:47,676
I'm getting super fucking
bored over here.
635
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,026
Okay, point is,
is that you know Jack.
636
00:25:50,070 --> 00:25:51,724
He gets so weird.
He's like all chill
637
00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,769
and philosophical, but it's,
like, come the fuck on, okay?
638
00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:55,597
If he doesn't let it out,
he's gonna detonate.
639
00:25:55,641 --> 00:25:57,207
Like, I can hear
him ticking.
640
00:25:57,251 --> 00:25:58,600
Are you sure that's
the real reason
641
00:25:58,644 --> 00:26:00,471
behind your "devious plan?"
642
00:26:00,515 --> 00:26:02,386
Nyeh.
What other motive
would there be?
643
00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:03,823
[ Laughs ]
644
00:26:03,866 --> 00:26:05,651
Seriously?
Oh, come on.
645
00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:07,783
Iz, it's me.
646
00:26:07,827 --> 00:26:10,220
Oh, you think I want to get
the band back together?
647
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:11,874
After what she did?Mm-hmm.
648
00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,397
How does that
even make sense?
649
00:26:13,441 --> 00:26:15,443
Oh, it -- it doesn't.
And, um,
650
00:26:15,486 --> 00:26:17,401
while we're discussing
the pervasive senselessness
651
00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:20,100
of your entire life,
have you talked to your dad,
652
00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,232
who's been calling on
the hour for several weeks,
653
00:26:22,276 --> 00:26:25,453
or is closure only
for other people?
654
00:26:25,496 --> 00:26:27,629
You wrecked my buzz.
655
00:26:27,673 --> 00:26:30,589
Let me guess --
headed to the loft?
656
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,722
[ Baby voice ]
Oh, you're so cute when you
think you know things and...
657
00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:36,595
Do not go to the loft.
658
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:39,467
Bye.
Nina: Bye.
659
00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:40,860
[ Door closes ]
660
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,342
Dave:
Oh, come on, Goldsby!
661
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:47,518
[ Chuckles ] I think it's time
we cut you off, man.
662
00:26:47,562 --> 00:26:49,172
You're yelling at the TV
like they can hear you.
663
00:26:49,216 --> 00:26:50,696
He heard me.
664
00:26:50,739 --> 00:26:52,436
Look, I managed to go
an entire Saturday
665
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,656
without seeing or touching
a child's puke,
666
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,789
so it's still a win
in my books.
667
00:26:56,832 --> 00:26:58,355
So, is this
ridiculously small TV
668
00:26:58,399 --> 00:27:00,793
the only thing left to you
in this giant brick box?
669
00:27:00,836 --> 00:27:02,142
Okay, you know what?
Unlike you,
670
00:27:02,185 --> 00:27:03,622
I have a normal,
adult-sized penis,
671
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,972
so I don't need a TV
the size of a billboard.
672
00:27:06,015 --> 00:27:07,495
Did you steal it from
the back seat of an Escalade
673
00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:08,888
from the headrest?
You just [ pops ]
674
00:27:08,931 --> 00:27:10,977
and right there?He's saying it's small.
675
00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:13,501
It is very small.It is.
676
00:27:13,544 --> 00:27:15,895
Hey, Frank.
Yeah, extra large for pick-up.
677
00:27:15,938 --> 00:27:17,636
Thanks.
678
00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:23,032
[ Sighs ]
679
00:27:23,076 --> 00:27:25,469
♪♪
680
00:27:25,513 --> 00:27:28,124
Hey, there, Peanut.
681
00:27:28,168 --> 00:27:31,650
You don't get to call me that
anymore, Ben.
682
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:34,827
Come on, let's not --Go the fuck away.
683
00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:39,048
♪♪
684
00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:41,181
The sad thing is,
you're right.
685
00:27:41,224 --> 00:27:45,402
Now I know how Izzy felt when
she was in Hawthorne Heights.
686
00:27:45,446 --> 00:27:47,056
It's just -- I fucking
miss the suburbs.
687
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,406
It's pathetic, I know.
688
00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,147
It takes me, like, an hour
to find a parking space
689
00:27:51,191 --> 00:27:52,845
when I'm driving around.
690
00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,498
That's the worst.
You poor baby.[ Door slams ]
691
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:57,066
Guys, we were not having this
conversation, okay?
692
00:27:57,110 --> 00:27:58,502
W-What?
Does she beat you?
693
00:27:58,546 --> 00:28:01,331
[ Footsteps approaching ]
694
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:04,813
[ Basketball game plays on TV ]
695
00:28:04,857 --> 00:28:11,298
♪♪
696
00:28:11,341 --> 00:28:17,783
♪♪
697
00:28:17,826 --> 00:28:19,741
Hey.
698
00:28:19,785 --> 00:28:21,874
Hey.
699
00:28:22,962 --> 00:28:25,007
♪ It's you, girl
700
00:28:25,051 --> 00:28:27,575
♪ It's you, girl
701
00:28:27,618 --> 00:28:32,319
♪ It's you
702
00:28:32,362 --> 00:28:34,756
♪ It's you, girl
703
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,237
♪ It's you, girl
704
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,414
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
705
00:28:40,457 --> 00:28:43,069
♪ Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
706
00:28:43,112 --> 00:28:45,767
♪ Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
707
00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:48,727
♪ Oh, oh, oh,
oh, o-oh ♪
708
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:54,863
♪♪
51234
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