All language subtitles for La banda degli onesti (1956).Eng

Janitor!
Janitor! Mr. Antonio!

What is it?
- The elevator in building 8 stalled!

One moment.

Antonio!
Antonio!

Do you understand that the janitor
must always know where the keys are?

What's this anarchy? One never knows
where the key to the terrace is.

You see this hat? Well,
the key to the terrace belongs there.

To me, the kay, Dionira gave it.

The kay?
I'll give you the kay!

Say, stranger,..

when you're through washing these four
rags, the kay...bring it back to me.

Else, the kay, will land on your head.
- Mr. Antonio! - What is it?

There's your wife calling for you.

Antonio!
- What's up?

The elevator in building 8 stalled!

For a change.
I'm coming.

Did you see? Because of you
the elevator stalled.

What have I got to do with it?
- By telepathy.

Yes, telepathy, telepathy...

Coming!

Unblocking!

Every week the same old story,
with this elevator.

Sure, but the janitor though! - What
about him? It's not him who built it.

But nothing works here!
I've been stuck for a half hour!

What's the janitor doing?

Oh, at last!
- Why didn't you try to unblock it?

I did try, but it won't move.
- Who's in the elevator?

The new administrator.
- Ah, a great start!

Hop! Hop!

Ah, here's the janitor.

Flying!

Here I am. - You made up your mind
at last? Will you open now?

It stalled, eh?
- What, shall I spend the night here?

As you wish.
- How, as I wish?

I mean, how can you wish to spend
the night? It's impossible.

Then open it.
- Right away.

These elevators are a pain in the neck,
they stall.

You must fix it every five minutes.
- What are you doing?! Open it!

I was explaining to these people how
to unblock it. Coming!

This is the key.

Here we got to fiddle around...
I know the secret.

One got to be cut out to be a janitor!

Ah, at last! - Give me your
revered hand. - Here it is.

How goes it? Well.
- Good... - How, good!

No, I mean, how goes it there?
- Bad! What do you think?

Come, say with me: oh!
- Oh! Oh! - Oh!

No, you're doing a counterpoint.
Keep my time.

Together: O-oh! O-oh!

Together: O-oh! O-oh!

Damn, it's heavy! There!

What are you doing now?
Stay up! Stand up!

Sorry, you got dirty. - Gentlemen,
the show is over. You may go.

What are you looking at?
This wretch who went to...

Who's a wretch?!

A wreck...A wreck, no?
- It is a shame!

Good evening, sir. - Good evening.
- Good evening. - Good evening.

This way. Mr. accountant,
you must excuse me. - Sure, sure...

Quite a nice show!
- Forgive them, they're modest people,..

they never go to a show, and they try
and have fun at any chance they get.

Did you see how they laughed?
- The fun was on me.

But, do you know who I am? - Of course!
The new building administrator.

Ragionier Casoria.
- Ragionier Casoria.

I'm here for an inspection, and it looks
bad, very bad: clothes hung out,..

..untidiness, cats, cats everywhere!

Mr. Casoria, you have to turn
a blind eye. - Not at all!

This building is left unattended.

And, frankly, the real estate firm
is not too happy with the janitor.

No?
- No!

No, no. And why weren't you in the
porter's lodge when I came here?

There was my wife..

and my wife is German.
- So what?

With a German keeping guard at the
door, not any and all will pass!

Then, our lodge is a sieve.
People get sieved.

Only tenants and important people
pass through.

Bottigliaro! (Bottle collector)

And who is that? - Someone calling
a tenant, Mr. Bottigliaro.

Come on, please...
- Do you want to see the boilers' room?

Yes, yes, let's go to the boilers,
quick.

Eh, definitely, dear Antonio, here
everything leaves a lot to be desired...

You see, Mr. Casoria, I do my best,
but the events,..

the elevator and the cats are often
against me.

Eh, I agree. Maybe a younger janitor
would manage better,..

but I've got a family as well and
I well realize...

No, no, I won't report you to the
real eastate management.

I...
- This time I too will turn a blind eye.

I thank you and I don't know just how
to show you my gratitude.

If you got an idea, tell me,
so that I can show you.

Well, for instance, be careful!
I'll show you right away...

You see, here you can..

easily clash. Even knowing the way,
I myself often clash with it.

Thank you.
- You need to do this way. - Thank you.

See, dear Bonocore, the main thing is
that you perform your duty.

Duty before all!
- I do it.

I'm on your side,
you try and stay on mine.

How... If you allow me, I'll open
the door. I'll show the way.

Come in.

Come in.
- Thank you.

Do you feed the boiler?
-Yessir. I cover the fireman chores too.

It's hot in here, too hot.
- I'd say, we're near the stove.

No, in general, the building too
must be overheated.

Yes? But there's who doesn't
share your opinion. You say it is,..

patience, if you say so!
- For this, the monthly supply..

of coal seems a bit exaggerated, no?

Look, the boiler devours plenty.
Twelve tons are barely enough already.

And then, the cost estimate
is made by the administration.

Rightly they're called estimates..

because they're made previously,..

but then, in practice,
things change, eh!

And just how?

One says 12 tons, but then
he gets by with 4.

This, it's only for us to know.

Mr. accountant Casoria, back home,
this..

we call it a fraud.
- What? - Yes, fraud!

I didn't say this, eh!
- You didn't?

No, no.
- I had thought...

I said I was on your side.
- I thank you really much,..

but on my side it's cold
and twelve tons are barely enough.

Alright. I just wanted to reduce
the building's expenses.

It means we'll have to remember
this too, Antonio Bonocore.

Goodbye.

Hell!

Ah!

I'm hungry!
- Get this stuff away from here you.

By Jove!
A letter from Michele.

Say , Michele wrote!
- Oh, at last!

Mustaf�! Down! Don't usurp the master's
place! Down!

He's terrible, you know. Well...

Here we are.

Let's see.

What does he write?
- Rather, what do you write him?

As if that poor boy could help us!
With what the Army pays, you've had it!

Take.

Why do you mix it with water?
Why do you mix it with water?

I didn't put water.
- Ah, ''I didn't put water'' ,..

then I did,
mister F�hrer.

I said it many times: ''Let's buy less
of it! Less, but let it be wine''.

To me two drops are enough. one drop,
a droplet, but let it be wine!

Answer. the telefunken!

Say' ''Prronto! (hello)''. Come on.

Prronto. This is the porter's lodge.
Yes, right away.

For you!
- Jawohl, meine Frau. Danke sch�n.

Prronto! Yes, it's me.
Good evening, Mr. Pizzigoni!

Say, say. Tell me...

Eh? I'm sorry but I have no availability
as of yet, well.

Yes, I know it's due. What shall I say,
I'm waiting for a payment..

and unfortunately they haven't paid yet.

Be patient for a few more days.
Be generous, be patie -- Hello?

Mr. Pizzigoni?

Mr. Pizzigoni!
He left.

Down, down Mustaf�! - Go away! This dog,
one of these days, I'll kill him.

And with his skin I'll make me an
astrakan fur collar for my coat.

What are you going to do dad?
- Nothing, what do you think?

Janitor! - Good evening, doctor.
How's Mr. Andrea? Not well, eh?

Shall I take him the milk?
- I wanted to remind you.

Good evening, doctor.
- I was having a bite.

So, are you going now?
- Yessir.

Folks, keep an eye to the lodge!
I'm taking the milk to the doomed one.

Alright.

Disgusting!

What a result!
After 40 years of service,..

guess how much I get from my retirement?
Do you know?

I know: 28.000 lire a month.
- And what's the pretext, do you know?

Because you have no wife nor children.
- As if that were an advantage.

It is, chevalier, believe me.

Believe me! Come!

What was that? - A fly.
- Ah! - Don't worry, it's dead.

Come, just a drop! - No.
- A drop of warm milk. - No, no.

No? Then a small pill?
- No, never mind,..

medicines are of no use anyway, now.

Dear chevalier, you are troubled by
senile pessimism, believe me!

Antonio.
- What?

Antonio,
I have to reveal a secret.

A secret?
- Yes. - To me? Let's hear.

What's up?
- It's a secret..

that's oppressing me since a long time.

Tell me, tell me.
- I decided to reveal it to you..

because I have
no relatives nor friends..

and you are a gentleman.

Well, it was during my last year of
service at the State Mint.

I was an engraver.

Right in that period we printed
the new 10.000 banknote.

The present paper currency.

Ah, yes, I heard some talk about
10.000 bills circulating.

As always,
several clich�s were engraved.

I was about to retire.

I was so embittered, so depressed!

You know how one feels when he's left
aside? - Tell me about it!

And so, I made one copy disappear.
- Ah!

A copy of what?
- Of clich�. - Ah!

And I took some paper too.
- White?

- Watermarked.
- Wa...? - Watermarked.

In a few words, what one needs to..

to make the 10.000 banknotes.

I get it. Chevalier, I've got much
to do. Also lock the main door.

No, Antonio, don't leave me like this.
I'm not through yet.

You were always so good to me.
- What good and good!

I'm a law abiding citizen!
Do you know what that means?

If you don't, find out about. Now
I should go to the police station..

and report you.
- No, don't talk this way.

Listen to me.
- Holy...

If you knew for how long I had this
torment, but I want to remedy, now.

What remedy? Here, at any moment...
Time is short!

Antonio, you see that bag on
the cupboard? - Which one?

That one? - Yes. - Well?
- Would you get it, please?

What?
Are we getting crazy?

So I'll leave my singerprints!

Fingerprints.
- Fingerprints.

But I haven't told you yet
what's inside.

Don't tell me,
I don't want to know.

There are the clich�s
and the watermark paper.

I never touched them.
- Possible?

Never.
- You never...whatever? - Never.

I never fabricated one single bill,..

I swear.
- I believe you.

The intention,
I had it many times,..

but never the courage.
- Excuse me, what's it to me?

Antonio, I'm about to leave.
- Eh, yes.

I mean, eh yes, that'll be the day!

You are on earth on a permanent basis,
I tell you.

Just think if, when I'm dead, this stuff
should fall into dishonest hands.

I couldn't find peace.
It must be destroyed!

But, excuse me, why do you want to give
right to me this hard nut to crack?

And then, why should you leave?
You'll be alright!

And you'll see that, slowly, with your
little legs, tippety tappety,..

you'll go to the river and
destroy the bag.

This says Antonio Bonocore!
- Yes, if I couldn't do it,..

you've got to promise me that you will.

This is my last will.
- This is a blackmail, excuse me!

Do you promise?
- Okay, I promise.

Oh, now for sure..

I can die in peace and serenity.

You are obsessed with it, excuse me!

You have mortuary persecution mania,
pardon my saying so.

What's all this talk about dying!
You're bursting with health!

You've got the pulse of a bull.
I wish I had that pulse!

I'd be in America now.

Listen:

one,..

two,..

three...

Hey! Damn it!

The communication cut off.

Eh, it's always the best that leave!
What can you do? That's life!

Today it's his turn, tomorrow it'll be
yours. - But...

Goodbye.
- Have a good day.

And this is done too.

One at a time...
- What a fate, what a fate, poor soul!

And he wasn't even that old.
- What are you saying?

Do you know how old
Mr. Andrea was? 93.

So? - How, so? He took the
first communion with Garibaldi!

Excuse me?
- Who is it? Come in!

Excuse me, Mr. Antonio.
- Tell me.

I see you already removed
the signature book.

Yes, it's true. See, these books
are for the relatives.

Mr. Andrea,
poor soul, was alone.

I'd care about, how do you say,
as a token of respect for...

A little signature? I had put it away.

I'll go fetch it.
- Right, a...

A good person Mr. Andrea, eh?
- Eh, yes.

She's right, mommy, those who leave...
- ...always the best ones,..

always the best ones leave.

Mommy went to the funeral.
- Good!

Unfortunately I couldn't.
- Me neither.

But I sent my wife and the children.
So they take their minds off things...

and take a breath of fresh air,
they're always locked in here...

Goodbye, Mr. Antonio.
Madam... - Good day.

Who are you? Where are you going?

You must tell me who you are.
Easy, easy, Mrs. bride!

We're not stealing anything, no?

Well, how does it look?

Excuse me, but just who are you?
What do you want?

Why, who would you be?
- How, who am I? Can't you see me?

I'm the janitor!
- Ah, so you're the janitor? Far out!

Well! I'm pleased! I see
you already got your luggage ready...

What luggage! But what do they want?
- Mah...

Good, getting out of the way already,
but there's time! It's premature!

Excuse me, I was passing by with my
fianc�e, so I said:

well, let's get in and check the site
just to get the idea.

Ya know, Ferna', here I'd put
a cintz sofa ,..

so it would brighten things a little.
- Yes. The floor..

is really in bad shape, it's filthy.
- Eh, yes, it's filthy. - Eh.

I'm mortified. I beg your forgiveness,
in behalf of the floor.

What? - Had I known,
I would have wrapped it for you.

No, but you got nothing to do with it.

Excuse me, can you smell? This faint
stink of cabbage in the whole house?

It's got to get away, this stink.
We need to freshen up everything!

We'll call the Refulgent!
- Refulgent? We'll call the firemen.

Better yet, you know what I'll do?
I call the police. - No!

What, are you crazy?
This one got upset!

We are colleagues! Eh, good Lord!
- What are we? Colleagues?

Why, are you a janitor?
- Not me, but I'll soon become one.

You'll become one? My friend,
one is born janitor, cannot become one!

You're kidding! But then, shall we argue
now? Eventually, when I'll relieve you.

Why, didn't you receive the notice
from the administrator? - No.

How, you don't know that
he's a friend of mine? Mr. Casoria!

Casoria? - He's intimate...
Then, many excuses.

Have patience.
How could I know?

Goodbye madam.
Let's go!

Let's go, move! That poor man
almost had a stroke. Good day!

Mamma mia, what is happening to us!

Clever Mr. accountant Casoria!

(Didn't you receive a notice
from the administrator?)

(The administrator is a friend of mine,
Mr. Casoria!)

(He didn't give you a...)

(In short, what it takes to print
10.000 banknotes.)

(When I'll relieve you!)

(Watermarked paper and clich�s
to fabricate 10.000 banknotes.)

So, overnight, to throw
a family out in the street!

Come, it's not sure yet. After all,
we haven't got the notice yet.

Will you stop fiddling with that radio?

You reckless! Cretin!
- Hoof!

What a pain, my child!

Come dear, grandmom's darling...
- Where did Antonio go?

I don't understand a thing!

I told him I couldn't wait any longer,
then I'll see you tonight.

Let's hope he'll come!

Casa....
Casamassima, Casamassima.

Altobelli.
Altobelli.

Lo Turco. Lo Turco.
Sender: Bordini & Stocchetti.

Bordini & Stocchetti. This means
bills. Bills...

Good morning! - Pity!
I just put it in.

There was an envelope...
Bordini & Stocchetti.

Ah! The same old overdue, eh?

How is your son? Does he write you?
- Michele is fine, and he writes.

Today broccoli and potatoes again, eh?
- My dad and my brother like'm.

And they're not wrong. Broccoli and
potatoes is a vitaminic food,..

..nourishing,
corroborant and...light.

Goodbye!
- Goodbye!

<''Giuseppe Lo Turco, printer.
Printer...

Printer...

Printer...

Printer's shop

What did you write? Read!

''Doctor Luigi Biffignardi,
chevaglier of labour.

Chevaglier?
Chevaglier...with ''g''?

With ''l'' ! Chevalier!
- I'll take it out now.

Fix it, you ass!

Then, in your opinion, do you spell
''rock'' or ''roch''?

Ass!

Roch...

Did you oil the printer?
- I oigled it. - Oiled!

I'll kill you!

Good morning, Mr. Lo Turzo!
- Lo Tu... Why do you laugh? - Ah, dad!

Lo Turco.
- Ah, true. Excuse me.

Why do you laugh?

What's up?
We work,, eh? We work?

Thank God, we work.
And you, what brought you here?

I was passing by and I said to myself:
''Let's pay a visit to Lo Curto''.

Lo Turco.
- To Lo Turco.

Am I disturbing?
- No, not at all.

It's almost lunch time.
- Oh, thank goodness.

This one, when it's a matter of food...

It's youth... - If you want to talk
to me, have a seat.

No, it's time for lunch,
I'm leaving too.

Broccoli and potatoes, eh?
- Eh, well...

I'll have spaghetti with clams, instead,
and pizzaiola veal.

Excuse me, didn't you say
you're having broccoli and potatoes?

You are having those! - Ah, me?
- Alright, then I'll go to my aunt's.

Of course, rather than have
broccoli and potatoes...

But, excuse me, who told you I'm
having broccoli and potatoes?

How, who told me?
Your daughter, of course!

Why, is my daugher putting up posters?

What happened? - Don Antonio!

You almost broke my finger!

And you put your hand under there?
- But how? Me?

Be more careful, you're not a boy,
you're a man!

I don't get it. Why would one
put his hand under the machinery!

Those are machines, not
reasoning men.

Machinery is made of metal!
- You always want to joke,..

luchy you. Today is not
a good day for me.

Alright, alright...
Don't get upset.

We all have our worries.
You, deep down, are a privileged man,..

you have an enstablished firm,
a factory. - A factory!

Like what, the Fiat, the Montecatini?

I hear a noise. Don't you hear a strange
noise? - Yes, I hear it too.

A noise like...

Something like...
- ...this one? - Eh.

Is it you? - Eh! - Don Antonio,
please, you're worrying me.

The new machine, just arrived.
- This one? - Of course.

A new machine?
- This the famous pla-ten-pre-ss.

The famous?
- Platen press. 100 copies per minute.

By Jove! - A phenomenon!
It's a phenomenon this one. - 100...

And how many would it make in one day?
- 50.

It seems there's a slight discrepancy.
- There is. 100 copies per minute..

it would make them, but my work is
cut back, so it only makes 50.

I got it. - Unfortunately,
nobody orders business cards anymore.

People meet, greet each other,
bye, so long, good night...

There's rack of capital!
- Lack, lack.

Lack of capital, that's the problem.
- Unfortunately.

And what brand is this plate?

What plate?
- Yours. This one.

What plate? It's not a dish.
Pla-ten-pre-ss.

Ah, platenpress. What brand is it?
- Bordini & Stocchetti, from Turin.

By Jove, Bordini & Stocchetti!
I heard about them.

It's a great firm.
- By the way!

Speaking of Bordini & Stocchetti.
This morning, in the lodge,..

there was a letter for you.
- A letter? - Eh!

What was it, a notice?
- No, no. A bill of payment.

Ah! Real good.

Thank you, don Antonio. You brought me
the appetizer for the broccoli.

I'm just a janitor...
- I know, thanks so much. A bill...

After you.
- No, by all means.

Please.
- No, it's your home.

You wish so?
- Thank you.

Excuse me. Did you want to go through?
- Come on! - Thank you.

I'll take care of it!
- No, don't bother.

Leave it to me. - God forbid!
- I'll shut! Why bother?

You wish so?
- You wish so?

Alright...

So, what're you doing?

You leave it open?
- You said you'd close it!

Let me do that!

Are you hurt?
- But you are the end!

I'm so sorry, I didn't know...

Let me do it.
I'll take care of my own things.

But you put your foot underneath!

I'll say...
- Leave me alone.

Well then...

Mr. Turchesi, I wanted...
- Lo Turco. - Lo Turco,..

I'd like to ask a question:

have you ever made fake business cards,
yes?

How do you mean?

On these cards,
one writes what he wants..

or does it take some State rule,
some Agency?

No, what Agency!
One writes what he wishes.

If he's a commendatore, commendatore,
is he is cavaliere, cavaliere,..

if he has a title, he'll put his title.
There are some who..

think themselves important...
- ...and are even less..

Eh.
- than nothing.

They might even be forgers.

How do you mean?
- Well, I mean... eh?

Eh?
- Well, I mean... eh?

I didn't quite get this.

May I offer you a coffee? Yes?

Let's go.

Come.
- Eh...

Wait and see.
- OK, let's see.

So there.

Well then, Mr. Lo Tripoli...
- Lo Turco!

Mr. Lo Turco, so sorry,
listen to me. This is you.

This cup?
- This cup.

This, instead, is the other one.
The capitalist. - The other cup?

The exploiter.
The other cup.

This, instead, is the capital.
- The sugar.

Eh, no, one moment, or it's useless.
Let me do.

So, originally they're both without
sugar, that is:

..Lo Turzo... - Turco!
- Lo Turzo and La Terza, eh, tarza.

La tarza e Lo Turzo.

Lo Turco! - Lo Turco.
- What would you do? - What would I do?

You see? You don't even know.
This one, instead, he knows it.

He knows, and he takes advantage.

What do you think?
- That he will stop, sooner or later.

You think so because you're an honest
man and you trust your fellow men.

This one instead is not!
And he keeps going. Look here.

And he goes on, ad on, and on.
- He goes on forever? - Forever!

No, you don't go on anymore,
or else you pay a supplement.

High-handedness, there!
This would be the only solution!

High-handedness? - Eh, yes. because,
frankly, dear mister...

Lo Turco. - People like you let
other people step on their toes.

On their toes?
- Eh, yes.

Because, you see, mister...
- Lo Turco. - Lo Turzo.

Lo Turco! See, you represent the sane,
honest, clean side..

of the Country. Vice versa, those,
represent the...side.... Clear?

But those...who?
- Who are we talking about?

About the speculators, the greedy,..

the exploiters, that is: about
accountant Casoria.

But who is this accountant Casoria
that jumps out every now and then?

He's the one that swipes the sugar.

Casoria swipes the sugar?
- And tha coal as well.

Sugar and coal?
- Right. - And he doesn't go to jail?

No, because they're smart.

They border the penal code,
but they don't breech it.

Look, look at that guy.
Don't look though.

Look!
But don't look.

How can I look
without looking?

Look, but don't show you're looking.

That will do?
- Yes.

That one....
- Who is that?

Accountant Casoria?
- What Casoria! Close by...

Close by? Frattamaggiore?

Eh, Frattamaggiore...
- Caivano? - What Caivano!

- Ooh! - Torre Annunziata?
Santa Maria Capua Vetere?

I did not tell you before,
out of courtesy,..

but you really are an idiot!
- So?

How, so?
Nobody ever told you?

Well, no. Now that you told me,
what shall I do?

There would be a solution.
- Ah, there is one?

Right. To conform.

To conform.
- Come with me!

Did you say to conform?
- This is the secret.

What secret?
- If I were you, I'd conform.

Listen, you have a bill overdue. - Eh!

You don't have a dime, work is slow.
- How right!

You've got shoes with patches,
over and under.

If I were you, I'd conform.
- Alright, I'll conform,..

but how?
- How, how?

We cross to the other side.
- That way?

No, we cross, we jump the obstacle
with both feet together

But how? - But how? Desertion, there!
- But we desert...where?

We pass on the side of
accountant Casoria and friends!

Casoria and friends?
- You didn't get it?

Well, really, I...

Who is it? - Who is it?
- What happened? - Is there danger?

No, I mean, what's up?
- Who is it?

Will you listen to me?
- I am!

If you give me one minute of your time.
of patience,..

I'll explain you one thing
that might interest you.

Let's go there. - In the subway?
- There's hardly anyone.

- Eh, but...
- Come with me, listen.

I've got a family! God forbid!
What entered your mind?

Listen to your blood's voice!
Whose voice?

I admit they're very well done.
- Aren't they? They're authentic!

What an engraving! Magnificent.

And the paper! Did you see it?
Look at this paper!

The paper... - Magnificent!
- It seems a bit too long...

Oh yes, I got the wrong paper.
This is the family one!

This one. This is watermarked.
- Of course!

It comes from the State Ming!
- Mint. - Mint.

Was I right?
- Eh, yes. Yes, yes.

Then let's get to practice, shall we?

God forbid, don Antonio, I just gave it
a look...so, just as an amateur...

Just think what a satisfaction for
a typographer:

to switch from business cards
to 10.000 banknotes!

All considered, don Anto',
let's face it:

I'm only expert in black and white.

Here you have to deal with
ink qualities, nuances,..

shades...
It takes an expert!

Right! Now we pull in the third man!
Don't make me laugh!

But it's necessary.
It would be necessary.

It would take one
who knows about colors.

Colors?
- Eh!

A painter would do?
- Eh. - I have one.

But is he an artist?

Artist? He's a great artist!

Is it that one?

Eh.
- Is that the painter?

Why, isn't he fit?

Oh, Mr. Lo Struzzo...
- Lo Turco. - Lo Turco.

Who do we want to get? Picasso?
De Chirico?

Shall we resuscitate Raffaello?
- I don't want to resuscitate anyone,..

but we need an artist here.
That one is a half whitewasher!

Don't curse, please!
That one is an artist!

Of course, he has to get by someteimes,
the poor soul.

But can we trust him?
- Sure enough, don't worry!

What,
when one is full of debts,..

has overdue bills, eviction pending,
is starving to death,..

you can trust him for sure!
Didn't I trust you maybe?

That's true.

Good morning, Cardone!
- Oh, Mr. Antonio!

How goes it, how goes it, how goes it?
Do you know mister...

Lo Turco. - No.
- Cardone, nice meeting you. - Pleased.

How, you never met?
- No.

Yet we live in the same building.
- But that's a bee-hive!

It's big.
- By the way, how's work going on?

So...not so bad.
- Well, there's some emphasis. - True.

Oh well, there's a style,
a personality.

I may know nothing about, but
it reminds me of Pinturicchio a bit.

His first manner.
- His first manner.

'Cause this manner here...
- It's the latest...- Yep, the last one.

By the way, Mr. Cardone,
there was this for you.

There was "urgent" written on it and
I deemed suitable to bring it to you.

It's from the administration.
- It's nothing, nothing!

Eh, nothing! Nothing, he says.
Mr. Pinturicchio, well? Then?

I don't poke my nose into the tenants'
business, but my eyes..

are trained, no?
That's a notice. - Ah!

It's a notice? - A notice!
A notice of eviction.

Mr. Antonio, you're mortifying me.
- What mortification! Because he's here?

He's starving wretch just like us!
- Don Antonio!

Starv...like us!
- Ah, like us!

In this age, one must resign oneself,..

and jump on accountant Casoria's side.

But it's right him who
wants to evict me!

This one didn't understand a thing!

Shall we buy him a coffee?
- Yes.

A coffee?
- Eh, with pleasure!

With lots of sugar?
- With lots of sugar.

Let's go.

So then, Cardone...

No, no, no.
- No?

No, no, no. It's not my field.

As long as we deal with enamel,..

oil paint...But here we deal with
fatty inks.

Fatty or lean, what's the difference?
- Eh, don Anto', I told you!

I had thought that...
- What did you think? A whitewasher.

Gianturco, don't swear.
This is an artist.

He acts so because...
Who knows why.

By now I'm on the dance floor,
and I got to dance...

Anyhow, Cardo', we must look straight
into each other's eyes.

Let's look into each own conscience.
- Let's look!

Let's speak straight: do you feel up to
it or not? - Do you?

He doesn't feel up to it.
- One moment, do you feel up to it?

I would...
- He does!

So?
- So?

With a little effort.
- Try your hardest...

don't be shy. It's between us.

So? - But we commit a sin.
- Do we commit a sin?

A mortal sin, we commit.
- Let's commit it, this mortal sin.

I've only got my mom.
- Let's not pull out the mom, Cardo'.

What if she knew?
No, I'm not game.

I want to sleep at night. I don't want
to be gnawed at by my conscience.

So you'd rather be gnawed at by hunger.
And the eviction notice?

Cardone! What, the eviction doesn't gnaw
at you? - But mom...

There we go again with mom...
Cardone my dear, we all got a mom!

Alright, let's try then.
- Oh! Come! Lo Turco!

Let's go, come on! Come, he made up his
mind! - No, no, no...

Leave me alone, please. I...
And I understand him too..

and what the reverend here said,
what's his name,..

Mr. Cardone. No, no. Guys, let's not
forget who I am.

I am a printer.
What's got into your minds?

It says it clearly here:
"The law will punish forgers..

and distributors of counterfeit bank
notes". That means jail!

That's the point! Because, we don't
distribute counterfeit bank-notes.

This cliche is authentic. Sacredly
authentic from the State mint!

Clear? Eventually, we might be
considered a branch office.

In French it would be called
a "d�pendance".

If a shopkeeper happens
to get one of our bills,..

he looks at it and says: "This is a
bank-note from the d�pendance."

"It's good. Give him the change."
P�, p�, p�, and he pays us.

What change?
What, the mint outsourced you?

Don Antonio, don't talk nonsense.
No, no, let's call it quits.

So, let's give a kick to good luck.
- Let's give a kick --

I already gave it.
- Here, good luck! Get this, good luck!

Better not talk about it.
- Let's not talk about it any more.

Let's not talk about it. Never mind,
it was for fun, let's not talk about it.

Let's not talk about it any more!
- Any more.

I, though... - Did you talk?
This one talks about it.

You want to talk about it?
- Let's talk about it.

On second thought, basically,..

before the law, we are clean.

Even the paper is authentic.

At the most, it can be considered a
limited liability offence.

And what can they do to us?
What can they?

Alright, since
I'm on the dance floor...

I'll keep on dancing.
I dance. Do you dance?

I dance.
- Do you dance?

I don't dance. - How, I dance,
as a printer, and you don't?

Gentlemen,
I heard what you said here before..

both of you, with this ear.
I'm not deaf, you know?

He's got mommy and the painting job,
you got the printer's..

and I too, in the Italian middle class,
hold a social status.

Hats off!
- I've got a thriving porter's lodge,..

with tenants coming and going..

at Easter, Christmas and mid-August
they give me good tips...

For my name day they give me flowers,
candles, etcetera, and I've got..

three children.
- So?

So...let's not talk about it any more!
- Let's not talk about it any more!

It's over. - Let's forget it.
- We have never met.

Eh, and he sleeps!

No.

No.

God forbid.

Never.

You'll go to jail,
you'll go to jail.

As you see, my son, I hang on
to honor your uniform.

Good morning, Marce'.
- Hi, Riccardo. Dad?

Fast asleep.
- Today too.

Do you know that it's a week
that this story goes on?

Last night again he came back at 3:00.

He didn't turn the light on so as not
to wake me up. Like a burglar.

But what does he do? Where does he go?
- Mmmh...I can't see clearly into it.

Maybe he does some overtime at the shop?
- Yeah, at the shop!

The he goes to the winery.
- Yeah, to the winery!

Then you tell me where,
since you know it all!

There must be a woman...
- You think so?

Why not?
- I feel sorry.

After all, since when he's alone,
dad has always been so serious.

But, my dear, us men have our needs.

Go away, go!

Damn cats! If I get one, I'll eat it.

Filthy beasts!
Rascal felines!

Don't do that, they'll notice.
They hear this whistle... - No...

Tonight is the night?
- Let's hope so!

But we need a sample.
- A sample?

A real 10.000 note.
- And who's got one?

On the other hand, I cannot work
on memories, by heart.

How can we do?
- How can we do?

10.000 lire, who's got them?
- Check with Lo Turco.

Are you crazy? He's cried his eyes out!

To ask 10.000 lire to Lo Turco!

How can we do?
- How can we do?

I'll have to sacrifice myself.
- I regret it.

Me too. Just imagine!
The last family memento.

This was my father's,
an authentic sarcophagus!

A sarcophagus? - A French one!
- But this is a Roskoff!

Alright, a Roskoff, a sarcophagus,
it's just the same. - Beautiful!

I'll take it to Pizzigoni.
And let's hope that loan shark..

will give me a 10.000 lire bill.

I recommend you, a nice bill, large.
- Sure, a king size one!

Cardo', that bill is a standard size.
Please!

Well? - I need more red.
- Red. - Right away!

Here. - If you don't mind,
I'll put it on. - Be my guest!

I know how to do it.
- The master...

There, done.
- It's wonderful.

There we are!
- There we are!

Are we there?
- Yes. - Oh, excuse me!

The frame is just right.
- The frame fits just right. Precise!

Master, it's your turn. Go on!
- Yes, yes.

Water and soap!
- Water and soap! - Quick!

Towel!
- Towel! - Right away!

Towel, here it is.
- Towel...

Alcohol!
- Alcohol! - Alcohol coming!

Here is the alcohol.
Is it this one? Yes. - Yes.

Alcohol...
- Alcohol... - Solvent!

Solvent.
- Here is the solvent.

Careful, careful.
- I know how to do it. - Excuse me.

Done. - There!
- So then...What are you doing?

He's sipping the syrup!
This is not the moment!

Excuse me.
- What have you done? - Nothing...

Towel.
- Towel.

Have patience...
- Roll! - Roll!

Roll. - Roll.
- Roll, Roll really, eh!

The roll, don Antonio!
- It's almost roll.

But no, the roll, the roll!
- You mean that sort of rolling-pin?

Or else... - Here it is! - ..everything
gets mixed. - God forbid!

It's done.

- Eh, pasta dough.
All done.

We're set. The paper!
- Right away!

There.
- You always take it along, this paper?

For my comfort.
- #The watermark!#

#The watermark, the watermark,
tatatataratatà....# Ol�!

Is this a time for joking?

Excuse me, it's the excitement,
the happiness! Here it is.

Careful! - Car --
- Be patient, I'm just a janitor.

Hey, guys, do you agree? Do you?

Do you? Do we!
- We do!

Ah, you agree?
- Ah! - We agree.

Pliers.
- Pliers. - Pliers.

It's a miracle. It's a miracle.

Here is. Soul of my wife, forgive me.
Don Anto'...

Blow you, accountant Casoria!

The first one. - I'm not feelig well.
- No, Cardone! - Hey, hey, hey!

A water sprinkle! - Where?
- On the face! - Right away!

Mamma mia...
- Oh my God! Cardo'!

I'd say to try there,
in that night bar.

We're spending our first fake
10.000 lire. - Yes. - Yes.

Go, go.
- How, go?

One moment, go...like this?
- It's your turn.

In this matter, we're partners.

Okay. - Let's count out who's going.

Let's count.
By him.

By the youngest.

By me, by me, by me...
- Six. - Six.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- But how did you count?

What?
- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.

No, no, no, there's a mistake.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. It's you.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- Listen, don't upset me.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. It's you.
- I call myself out from the dispute.

He's out of the question.
- So then... Lo Turco, Lo Turco...

Four!
- 1, 2, 3 and 4.

You're a good printer,
but as a meter you're worth nothing.

Was it four?
- Four!

1, 2, 3 and 4. It's your turn.
- 1, 2, 3 and 4. It's your turn. Go!

Let's make it quick.
I'm out, be patient.

You call yourself out?
- Of course.

I'm competing by myself?
- By yourself.

Go, go, go, and remember
to spend the fake bill,..

not the good one.
- I made a cross mark on the good one.

Don't get confused.
- I'm going, eh? - Go.

So...well, I'm going.
- Sure, go!

Eh? - Eh?
- Did you call me?

No, no. Go! - Don't call me.
- But who's calling you?

5 soft cigarettes without filter,
please.

Here, 5 soft cigarettes without filter.
- Matches, please.

Ready! - Can you change them with
softer ones, please?

- Softer.
- Three Tuscan cigars!

These are soft.
- Three Tuscan cigars! - Thank you.

What can I serve you?
- Three Tuscan cigars.

I'm sorry, the Tuscans are finished.

Then give me a soap bar.
- A soap bar? Palmolive?

Yes, Palmolive will do.

Here it is, Palmolive.
- Thank you.

One moment.

Here it is.

That's it, 10.000.
- Thank you. Good night. Good night.

Ah, listen, you!
- Eh?

I found a Tuscan.
- It doesn't matter, thank you.

I'd better not smoke.
Good night. - Good night.

Matches, please.

Who can it be at this time?

One can never stay in peace!
Sie vergessen immer die Schl�ssel!

Ach, diese Leute!

But who is it?
It's me, Michele!

Michele! Wie ist es m�glich?
- Hi, mom!

Ich bin so gl�cklich!
- You weren't expecting me, eh? - No.

Komm' schnell! Come in! Come!

Come!

Mom, Michele is here!
Michele! - Grandma!

My Michelone!
- How are you?

How goes it?
- But you look younger! - Why, sure!

Hi! - Michele arrived!
We weren't expecting it, you know?

Come here, on my knees, up!

Also Mustaf�!
- Mustaf�! Come here! Up!

But couldn't you tell us?
- Better so, he made a nice surprise!

Are you on leave? - No, I'll explain
later. And dad, where is he?

I've decided: I'll make myself
a nice and well supplied wardrobe.

Everything double: two suits,
two shirts, two collars,..

two ties, two suspenders, two belts,
two pair of pants,..

two underwear, two handkerchiefs,
two shoes and a nice American goat,..

of camel hair. - Goat?
- With the hood, American.

Are there American goats?
- Why not?

They brought them, from there,
now they make them here too.

The goats? - With the hood,
so if it's cold I lift it,..

under the main door,
and I stay hooded.

Ah, I got it! A duffle coat!
- Hooded goat!

Yes, the three-quarter-length ones.
- Three-quarter-length. - With frogs.

With frogs, right.

And the shoes. I care for,
nice new shoes. - It's the basic!

Nice, those...
- With the creak. - Eh!

Creakily, creakily, creakily...
- They give you a bearing. - Why, sure!

Have you made plans for next summer?
- I've decided:

I'm taking mommy and make a
pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

Of course. - Holy Land.
Eh, no, I'm going to Montecarlo.

To Montecavo.
- Montecarlo!

Montecarlo!
- Where is it?

In southern France, Cote d'Azur,
a wonderful place...

There's the casin�.

What's there? - Casin�!
- And you need to go to Montecarlo?

He goes to gamble...
- Eh, how he got it!

Who's there?
- Night guard. Who's in there?

It's me, Lo Turco.
I'm doing some overtime work.

Ah, Mr. Lo Turco,
I heard some noise. Good night.

Good night!

We've got to get to work, or
our plans for Montecarlo..

and Jerusalem Delivered
will go to ruin! Work!

Work hard!
- Hard!

Michele. Michele. Hey, wake up.

Dad!
- You here?

And when did you arrive?
- Tonight.

Say, the Customs and Excise officer is
at the borders, what are you doing here?

Dad, Excise officers are not only
stationed on the mountains.

They transferred me here in Rome.
- Here? At the borders of Rome?

Aren't you glad?
- Very glad, of course.

You happen to be just...
what the doctor ordered!

Why such a face...
- What face?

You seem upset.
- It's an optical effect.

You were sleeping...

If you knew, we've got so many worries!

Yes, mom told me
about the administrator,..

and that you didn't accept.

You did well.
You were always an honest man..

and you must be proud of that!

Sure, my son, of course, I'm honest..

and, in all modesty, I'm proud.
- But now I can give you a hand.

No way, God forbid!
- I earn much more, you know?

I'm on duty with the flying squad.
- That is to say, at the airport?

No, flying squad, Excise Police!
- Ah, taxes!

Yes, those too, but mainly
contraband, currency traffic,..

vigilance on monopolies,
forgery...

False money too?
- Sure.

Right. Excise Police,
false money too..

is taxed. It's fair.
- It's a good career.

I can become an NCO.
- Ah, you don't say! Eh, yes...

But what are you doing, dad?
Where do you spend the nights?

Can't you see it's almost daytime?
- At night I go to the night club.

What?
- The night club.

To supplement the financiary income
for the house, that costs a lot!

I open the doors and they tip me
to no end.

Yes, and so you get no sleep.
- The early bird catches the worm,..

and I got to catch it.
- What's this?

No, nothing. It's the thing, you know.
How do they say it in French?

Toilet paper! Papier hygi�nique!
I won it at the lottery.

Dad, I'm sorry,
I don't want you to do such things.

The lottery with toilet paper?
- No, that you stay out at night.

Alright, it means that...
What shall I tell you? It means...

What do you do? You're barefoot?
Are you crazy? It's cold!

I've got my slippers under here.
- No! Blood might flow to your head!

You're a borders guard, stand high.
If you bend down, it will hurt you.

Go to bed, to bed, to bed.
- Dad, you go to sleep too, OK?

Hush! Right away.
Go to bed. Cover yourself!

Good morning! - Hi, Riccardo. At what
time did he come back last night?

Yeah, last night! This morning!
This is bad!

Look what he brought.
- What's in there?

What do I know? Let's open and see.
- Are you crazy?

Oh, we have some responsibility. What if
dad gets himself into some trouble?

But why? - To begin with,
he kept this under his bed, concealed!

But what is in there? - I think he's
printing some terroristic stuff,..

some outlawed politics.
- Go take a walk!

Yeah, if you saw what a mess the shop is
in the morning! He works in it at night.

Stop! I'll kill you!
- Dad! - I'll kill you!

How dare you to touch this stuff?
- Yes, we did wrong.

But are you behaving well?
- Why, do I behave wrong? Not you?

Am I the head of this house, or not?

If one wants his children's respect,
he's got to earn it!

One doesn't spend his nights out,
doing who knows what.

Kids, you're becoming aggressive.

Watch out, I got heavy hands!
- But I'm saying it for your own good..

and for Riccardo as well.
You should give him a good example..

since he's rascal enough...- What?
He prints clandestine pamphlets..

and the rascal is me?
- What do I print?

Clandestine pamphlets.
If not, what is in that packege?

Clandestine... Clande --
And what if? Clandestine.

Masonic stuff,
hidden political committees..

the squad of the thing...
The Boldness Squad.

Listen to the "nostalgic"!

And you called yourself a liberal!

Reminiscences. I realized that
with the old...thing..

the things were good...
And the trains arrived on schedule!

And hush. Don't spread the news about
these committees. Did you understand?

Hail Italy!

Bye, dad. I'll see you at lunch.
- Bye.

I forgot my cigarettes. Bye.

Dad!

Dad, what are you doing?
- Nothing. I was praying.

Ah.

Today I'm really absent-minded.
I forgot my gloves too.

Bye.

Welcome back, Miche'.
- Thank you.

Michele! - Marcella!
- Hi, how are you? - Fine, and you?

My, have you changed!
- For the better or for the worse?

Not so fast! We just met
and you want me to propose already!

I didn't ask you at all.

Of course, you don't even bother
replying to my letters.

Letters? Plural?
Rather say one postcard!

3 postcards. - But I wrote you at
Christmas and you never replied.

You're right, but I knew I would come
within days, so...

Did they discharge you?
- No, I changed unit.

Then you're leaving again?
- Are you sorry?

Now it's you who wants a proposal.
- I'm glad I met you.

I was sure
you didn't think about it any more.

About what?
- Well, about me.

You couldn't sleep at night instead?
- No, I slept. With the dawn risings..

that we did, I sure slept!
- You see?

But I dreamed about you.

Shall we meet tonight?
- If you wish.

Well, I must run to the headquarters.
I'll look for you later. Bye ugly one!

Bye, big ugly one!

Customs and Excise Police

Commander Flying Squad
Marshal B. DENTI

We'll split in two teams,
sergeant Solmi and Peluso

The rest of you under cover with me.
These are the reproductions.

Look here, you are the expert.

By Jove! Much better
than those from Turin last year.

Well, those were more
a sort of soap ads.

If we find the engraver,
we'll have him hired at the Mint!

The technical bureau points out
some details. - Yes?

The squaring, the cut...
But examine them with ease.

And how many bills so far, marshal?

Seven, but maybe the big wave will
take place in the next weeks.

This is the list of the professionals.

Solmi, you'll take care of the small
printer shops. - Yessir.

Stop by sergeant Nocera
and get the list.

At your orders, marshal.
- Good bye. - At your orders.

We'll follow another trail.

You, Michele, shall go to Vetralla,
I'll explain later.

If things go well,
it will be a great blow.

What say, Bonocore?
- Yes, Mr. marshal. - Let's go.

Mr. Antonio, what's wrong?
Are you feeling sick?

No, it's nothing.
I've got a slight headache.

Michele, Michele...

Where are you going, Antonio?
- To Pizzigoni.

I wnat to humiliate him!
- No, Come here, listen,..

I've got good news! It's important!
- What happened? Slowly, slowly...

Listen! - Sag doch, was hat
der Marschall gesagt, Michele?

Nein, nichts zu sagen!
- Aber warum denn?

Ich bin deine Mutter, du mein Kind!
Du hast mir alles zu sagen.

Did you understand? - But who can?
These live beyond the Gothic line!

But they entrusted him
with a most important mission!

Him? In German?
- Yes. - Good!

But he won't say more!
He says that it's confidential!

Of course. He's a member of the Customs
and Excise Service.

He must keep his secrets.
He's like a self-employed person.

Good boy.
- But I'll say it to you dad,..

because I know you won't tell anybody.
- Of course.

The fatherly complicity,
what's it for? Go on!

Why would he tell him and not us?

Who is it?
- It's me. - Ah...

Is there mommy? - No, she went to mass.
- Thank goodness!

I came to talk to you about the money.

You want to make some more?
- You reckless!

My older son was transferred to Rome.
- I'm glad!

I don't think you'll be glad.

My son is a Customs officer
assigned to forgery repression.

And you tell me that now!?
- And when did I have to?

He was on the Alps, peaceful.
And the tragedy is not this news.

It's that they traced our false
10.000 lire bills.

Ah, my mommy!
Ah, mommy! Ah, mommy!

Cardone, don't do so. Is it possible
that each time you go in a frenzy?

What are you, an old woman?
Don't be a child, come on.

Cheer up! Come, give me your hand.
- Why do you...? Give me your hand.

Oh my God, this has got a dead hand!
Oh my God, this has gotten rigid!

Cardone!
- Eh? - But what's this?

I'd blind your eyes!

What will happen now?
- What will happen, what will happen...

I've always said it!
In this country one can't do anything!

And they speak about free enterprise!

Mommy! - Come, what the hell!
They don't know yet about us.

No? - No. What's important is this:
to not spend one more penny.

Why, did you spend many?
- Of course, life needs...

I bought things that...
Obvious, no? Cardone, enough now!

Yes.
- There.

Enough!

Especially with new coats, enough!
Don't buy any, any more. - Yes.

One more thing,
that would be the first one,..

we must distroy the bag with
the cliches and the watermark paper.

Yes. - Because if they find it,
it will be trouble. It's evidence.

Have Lo Turco help you.
- I was at his place,..

I didn't find him.
He goes around showing off his shoes!

He's an exhibitionist!
- He's imprudent. - Eh, yes.

Now let's go downstairs,..

let's take the bag and bring it
in a place I know.

Now?
- And when, tomorrow?

Why don't we wait for night to come?
- Are you crazy?

They could be over us at any moment!
Let's go.

What are you doing? No, no! God forbid!

Wear that rag of coat you had before.
- Yes.

If they see you with this
they'll notice.

Someone like you with a coat like this..
They'll say: "That one is a forger!".

Let's go, quick. Let's go.

Hey there! Shht!

But...
- Quiet!

Did he go?
- Yes.

Who was it?
- No one.

Someone may come at any moment.
- Alright.

Enough, enough.

Cover, cover.

Dad!
- Who's that? Hey!

What are you doing there?

What? You see? Nothing.
- Nothing.

You rather, why are you here?
- Just a walk. But what are you burying?

Nothing. We buried...yes.
What are we burying? You want to know?

What? A carrion!
What could we bury? A carrion!

A carrion?
- No, not him!

But what're you saying?

Poor pet, he went under a car.
- Eh!

A running over.
- Yes, yes. - A dog?

A dog? Yes, a dog. Now I remember,
a dog. - A dog.

And whose dog was it?
- Yours, Mustaf�!

Mustaf�? Mustaf� died?
- No. - Yes. - Eh.

I didn't want to tell him.
Michele will be sorry... Mustaf�!

Oh, poor dog, I'm so sorry.

I'd like to know why you said Mustaf�!

Don't mortify me, I was confused,
didn't know what to say.

How? One must think, reflect before
speaking, no!

Tonight, when my son gets back home
and sees the dog..

he'll want to know
what we were burying..

and why we lied.
And evrything will come out!

Hold the dog.

This is the kind of things that prevents
the perfect crime, dear Cardone.

What, are you going to kill him here?
- Where else, at the slaughterhouse?

I don't have the heart to look.
- How, you don't have the heart? - No.

And me neither, but I'm justified,
I'm the owner of the dog.

It takes someone who looks,
or else, who's going to do it?

So then, now you take him,
open his arms..

and I, with one stroke..

will go straight to the heart, come!

Look, as if he begged!
I can't!

I can't. - Look!
- As if he prayed.

He is praying. He's begging for mercy.

How cute!
- And how're we going to do now?

I don't have the guts anymore.
You and the dog just discouraged me.

You discouraged me.
Nothing, I won't kill him anymore.

How shall we do?
Now...I got an idea! - Eh!

Now we'll tie him to a stone,
here on the route there are many,..

to an Milan stone.
- A stone...what?

The Milan stones! - What? - What
country are you from? - What are they?

How, what are they? Along the road
there are those stones with numbers...

Don Anto', the milestone!
- Alright, same thing.

There is one. Let's tie him there.

The weapon, I'll throw it away.
- Yes, yes.

Surely, some good soul
will pass by and take him.

After all, this is a nice dog.
It's a St. Bernard!

It's a St. Bernard?
- Maybe a cross-breed...but St. Bernard.

You had a great idea.
- Yes. So then, let's go.

Nobody saw us.

So long, Mustaf�!
Good luck.

Good luck!

Good work, sergeant!
- Thanks, good luck!

Good luck for Vetralla!
- Good luck to you too! - Thank you.

I'd have him arrested. - What a rip-off!
- Some prices! 7.000, 8.000, 9.000!

The 8.500 ones I saw them at Macerata
for 5.000, identical!

Eh! What's happening?
- Where have you been?

I looked for you for three days: you
were not at home, the shop is closed...

The printer's has become
a marginal business. - Oh, is it so?

Didn't you buy the new suit?

New suit? In a few days
they'll give us a striped new suit.

A pyjamas?
- A pyjamas, sure!

The anti-forgery police is after us.
We're hunted.

My son told me that a squad
is checking the tobacco stores.

Ah, that was the first banknote
that you passed off!

Oh, yes? I passed it off? But who made
me the boss? Who elected me?

Quiet!

Who elected me as Representative?
You! The people!

It's true, Honorable.

At the House will you hold a speech
on the subject? - Certainly!

I want to come to the Chamber too. Yes,
I shall take you with me to the Chamber.

We shall go together
to a nice detention-room.

You are crazy. What do I care? After all
they're looking for you, not for me.

In fact, let's do this way:
starting today..

when we meet, don't greet me.
Let's avoid each other.

Good morning, good night and over.
- Yes.

Maybe it's closed for mourning.
- Usually they put a sign.

Let's continue our round.
We'll return later, or tomorrow.

Who's next?
- There are still seven.

Printer's Durantini,
in via delle Orsoline.

Alright, let's go.
- Yessir.

After all,..

thinking it over, you're not wrong, you
know? As you said, avoid each other.

When we meet, good morning, good night
and over. - But...

Janitor!

Who is it? - Good morning. I'm looking
for Michele Bonocore.

Michele Bonocore is my son.

Pleased to meet you. I'm marshal Denti.
- By Jove, you're the boss!

Excuse me. I meant to say,
you're the marshal.

Come in. Come down.
- Thank you.

How can I help you?
- Is Michele in?

No, he just left.
A drop of liqueur?

No, thank you.
- You must take it. Mom!

What's up? - A glass of liqueur
to the marshal.

Finished? But how, a bottle bought
three months ago is finished already?

I apologize.

In this house liqueur goes
like fresh water.

If you'd come yesterday, you would have
found the liqueur. - Don't worry.

I had been nearby and so I thought...

I wanted some news on a certain thing,
but it doesn't matter.

You didn't have luck, eh?

What?
- A certain thing...

Vetralla!

But how do you know it?
- How do I know it? But, marshall,..

I'm the father,
he's the son...

Hi dad.
- Good morning, dad. - Hi!

What's for lunch, grandma?
- You know I got an 8 in Italian?

Good!

I'll go, I've got much to do.
- Good bye, marshal.

Listen, marshal,
don't consider me "curious".

You know, as father of an officer...
How far have you got? - Far enough.

See, at times an insignificant clue is
enough, just one banknote.

You know what I mean?

One bill passed off in a tobacco store.

As smart as they might be,
these people always make mistakes..

and sooner or later we catch'em all.
- You catch them, eh?

Mustaf�!
- Is it yours? - No.

Well then, I'm going.
- If you don't mind, I'll escort you.

Antonio!
- What's up?

Mustaf� is back!
- It's not Mustaf�. It's a double.

We all have a double in our lives.
That one is Mustaf�'s double.

But he's greeting us joyfully!
- So what, all dogs do.

The dog is a man's friend,
the dog is smart.

He happened to know there was
a vacant dog place and so he came.

Call him stupid!

I'd like to know what you buried
among the ruins.

We'll go there, we'll pull it out and
we'll see. - And I'll break your head!

Let sleeping dogs lie!

Poor beast, he's lying in peace.

Marshal! I swear, that is not Mustaf�.
- I believe it.

If it were Musta�,
I would tell you, no?

Didn't you see how disagreeable he was?

Dirty, hairy, hair on his eyes...
Ugly!

Mustaf�? But Mustaf�is a wonderful
dog, olympic!

Ah. - Yes. Not to brag about it, but
even though you're a marshal,..

he would have done what he liked
with you. I'm telling you.

This one looks like him, but he's not.
- Yes, I understand.

We too are looking for bills that
look like the good ones..

but are not good.

Goodbye, Mr. Bonocore.
- Goodbye,..

take care.
- See you soon.

When?
- Soon.

Soon.

Eh, yes.
Eh, yes, I must.

Good morning, Mr. Antonio.
Is Michele back?

Michele? Yes, no, that is
he came back and then left again.

Do you know how it went?

Why do they all ask me how it went
to Michele? I'll say...

Why, didn't he tell you anything?
- No, what about?

But, about us. - Dear girl,
I've got so many things on my mind.

And what should he have told me?

That we love each other.
- Ah! - That's all.

Is that all? And it's a cinch to you?
I bet you two want to marry, no?

Why, are you against it?
- No, God forbid.

Of course, in due time.

Tell me, is daddy at home?
- What?

I say, tell me, daddy, dad,
is he upstairs, at home?

Ah, yes. Are you going to tell him?
- I will.

Thank you, Mr. Antonio.
- You're welcome. - Dad is so sullen!

Go, he was about to shave. - Really?
I'm going to help him shave upwards.

Who is it?

Oh, so sorry, wrong house.

It is here!

Excuse me, I'd like to speak
with mister Lo Turco.

He's not in.

And who are you?

Why, don't you know me?

Actually, it's the first time
I meet you.

Rather, who are you?
- That's a good one! I'm the janitor.

Lo Turco's janitor?
- Lo Turco's and all the other tenants'.

And you don't know Lo Turco?
- Sure I know him.

And who is this?
- By Jove! Lo Turco!

And this?
- Really...

Don't make me laugh, Lo Turco.
- Am I funny?

To begin with, you didn't recognize me.
- Of course, you looked like a monkey.

Who's that?
- Well?

Did you look at yourself in the mirror
how ridiculous you are?

Caution is caution.
- What caution and caution!

What's there? Lo Tu'...
- What? - Lo Tu'...

Don't touch me.
- I say, are we alone? - Alone.

Are you sure?
- Sure.

Those ones...are downstairs.
- Oh, mamma mia. I'll put on my make-up.

What make-up?
Who do you want to fool?

And then, set your mind at rest.
- Why?

They're not looking for you,
but me.

Then put some make-up on.
- Take this thing out of my mouth!

It's clean, don Antonio.
- Clean my foot! It's filthy.

It's horsehair. - Maybe
hair of people with death sentence.

What death sentence! It's horsehair.
- All the hairs in my mouth!

But... Don Antonio!
But did they report you?

What report!
Come here.

These hairs in my mouth!

I dont know...I dont know how
they managed to find out..

that the tobacco store one is me.

There isn't any. And how?

And how? The marshal came to my place
with an excuse.

What a fox!
Ah, what a fox that marshal!

He started to play with this poor soul..

like the cat does with the mouse.

And on top of that, guess who came in
at a certain moment?

Who? - The dog.
- Mustaf�? - Mustaf�.

Then they say that
a dog is man's best friend!

Ih, I'd kill him!

The dog, if he actually were my friend,
wouldn't have come right then..

to ruin my plans.
Is that clear?

But he's a guard dog.
And a guard dog with the guards...

There isn't any. Don Antonio, excuse me,
but, among foxes, dogs. cats, mouses..

I didn't understand anything.
Explain yourself well, will you?

The marshal..

knows everything.

Then I... - Take off this beard!
Who do you think you're frightening?

There isn't any.
- Ah, right.

The marshal knows everything.

And any minute now they might arrest me.

And Michele, that poor son of mine,
is ruined. Eh, of course,..

son of a forger, you know...
They'll kick him out of the corps.

The marshal 'lo buggero' (I trick him).
- A friend of yours? - Who?

Lo Bugero?
- And who is this 'Lo Bugero'?

You said:
"The marshal 'lo buggero'".

You misunderstood.

I meant:
I, the marshal, will trick him.

Ah! And how?
- I'll give myself up. - Ah.

You'll give yourself up
and will trick the marshal? - Eh.

Do you know that if you give yourself up
they arrest you all the same?

I know, but this is the great idea!
- That is to say?

I'll have myself arrested by my son.

Of course, a guard who arrests
his own father is a golden guard.

No only they won't kick him out,
but they'll promote him.

Is it clear? Everything shall be set,
your daughter too.

What's my daughter got to do with this?
- How, what she's got to do?

You didn't understand anything?

Those two kids..

are in love.

I had a hunch, but...
Is it a serious matter, Bonocore?

Yes, very.
- Well...

Have you got something against?
- No. I'm not amazed.

He's a good boy. And you?
- I have nothing to argue.

Your daughter is a good girl.

If I sacrifice myself, it is
for their good. And by now,..

Mr. Turchetti...

Is it possible
that you haven't learned my name yet?

Lo Turco. Lo Turco.
- Mr. Turco,..

also for the relationship, because you'd
come to be my relative.

But what kind of relative would you be
to me? - How, what would I be to you?

But then you're really ignorant,
pardon my saying so,..

in matter of affinities.
Alright, but what relative woul I be?

A co-parent-in-law. - Well, but I'd be
related to a co-parent-in-law-in-jail.

Let's tell it like it is, Bonocore.

And thank God
that you'll stay out of it.

It's better for you as well as for me.
Yes, the co-parent-in-law who's outside..

can bring the co-parent-in-law who's
inside, say, some cigarettes,..

oranges, cookies, candies, chocolate...

I recommend you, at Christmas,
some nougat. I'm greedy.

Greedy, greedy...
I don't have private means.

By the way,..

that money, did you spend it all?
- Not all.

Then do this:
the remainder, destroy it.

And Cardone must do so as well.

In fact, he even knows where the bag
with the cliches is. - Yes.

One last favor I ask you.
On the terrace,..

in the fourth water tank, there's my
loot. Destroy that too.

Then we destroy everything, Bonocore?
- Everything.

It's better.
- It's better. - Thank you.

Who is it? Who is it?

Don't do that, you scare me.

Why do you get scared
if you're giving yourself up?

That's true.
I'm going, eh.

Who provided the material?
- I did. - Ah.

And who helped you with the clich�s?
They're better than those 3 years ago.

Nobody. I made some progress, marshal.
- Ah.

How many did you print?
- Who knows? 400, 500...

Well, come and sign.

At least, this time you didn't
make us waste time. Good boys.

That's it, sign here.

There's your father. He asked for you.
- One moment.

Sergeant, check these reports, please.
- Alright

And you did not believe it, see?
Good job! Thanks to you!

Come.

Wait. I wish to speak to my son, not
with the commander.

Dad!
- Ah, well.

Excuse me a minute, marshal!
What happened?

I need to speak to you privately.
- Is it something serious? - Very.

Your dad must make
a serious confession,..

in fact, don't interrupt me, please.
If it weren't for your career,..

I wouldn't have come here. - But what
is it all about? - It's about..

some 10.000 lire bills, the fake ones.

And what's that got to do with you?
- It's got, it's got, it's got!

Ask the marshal!
Come, don't waste time, arrest me.

Or else he will and you're tricked.
The forger..

it's me. - Say, dad, you didn't come
all the way here just to joke?

Joke? Come, obey your dad, handcuff me.
You got them?

What handcuffs?
- They don'd give you handcuffs?

They send you around without handcuffs!

I don't know
what this world has come to.

The one who passed off the forged 10.000
to the tobacco store..

is me. - Bonocore!
- Eh, no! It's him who arrested me!

Ah, yes? Well, well, about time!
- Dad always jokes.

He came for a visit. - I bet he wanted
news about the investigation.

Did you tell him?
- I didn't know if I could.

Why not? By now!

Martelli called,
they got the printer too.

Lo Turco? - No, the Swiss.
- Then he gave a false name!

Who? - Nothing...
- Repeater. For the third time!

The Swiss? - They call him so,
but he's from Bergamo.

A smart guy!
The bills were very well reproduced!

What do you say,
shall we reward the boy?

Eh, yes, he deserved it.
- Do you know he was quite discouraged?

He did
an excellent job at Vetralla instead.

Didn't I tell you that at times an
insignificant clue is enough?

It seemed so insignificant to your son
thet he didn't believe it.

But these forgers...
- All arrested.

And me? - What?
- No, I thought instead...

This the report's draft.
Check if everything is okay.

Dad!
- Mr. Bonocore, so long.

Marshal, so long forever!

You, hurry up
they're expecting us at the Ministry.

Alright, coming right on.

Well, things standing this way,
I'll see you at home.

Wait a moment.
Tell me, how did you know..

that the bill was fake?
- Easy, one asks:

"How did you know..."
And here's the answer. Since..

I unfortunately have little familiarity
with 10.000 lire bills,..

I happened to have that one in my hands.
And what did I say?

This bill, I looked at it,
I saw a strange aspect,..

a little suspicious, and I thought:
"I'll take it to the tobacco store".

"If they accept it,
it means it's good".

Instead, it was fake. Here it is.
- Look who's here!

Look who's here!

Say the truth, it's a good imitation!
- Not so much. - Modestly...

But who gave it to you? - By Jove!
But there's the cross mark here.

What cross mark? - Then it's not
the one... it's the other one that...

Pizzigoni gave it to me!
- What's Pizzigoni got to do with it?

I brought him the watch,
he gave me the hock...

He thinged me the thing...
The he's a forger too.

Did you arrest Pizzigoni?
You must arrest Pizzigoni!

It probably fell into his hands
as it did into yours.

Eh, no. I'd arrest him, Pizzigoni.
- Dad!

Don Anto', explain me well:

you, after all, passed off only one
of those bills,..

the one in that evening?
- One only. And I made a mistake.

Because I passed off the one that
Pizzigoni had given me,..

which was false, in its turn.

It's the truth! I didn't have the guts
to spend the other one.

We're safe then!
Anto', we're safe!

Slow with this euphoria,
it's out of place!

There are the other bills around,
yours.

You bought the shoes with the squeak,..

he bought the new coat.
- But what squeak! God forbid!

The money, I borrowed it..

from my godfather from
Santa Maria Capua Vetere.

I was there for a couple of days,
that's why I wasn't at home.

You're lying!
- I didn't pass off one bill.

Yes, you! But him?
- No, I didn't pass off anything.

I bought the coat with the savings
mommy kept under the mattress!

I understand.

Each one of us didn't want to appear
too honest to the others.

It's true.
- It's clear.

Listen, as a band of forgers
we're really the pits, eh!

Alright, but as gentlemen
we're integer.

Ah, yes, this yes.

Look into my eyes.
- What happened?

Are you game for a bonfire?
- Eh?

For a bonfire?
- No, I just ate,..

how can I put a bonfire on my stomach?
- What have you understood? A bonfire..

of flames!
- Ah, a bonfire of fire!

What else, of water?
-Who shall make it?

It will make... - Will you let me speak?
- Where shall we make it?

We'll make it there. Where the bag is
buried. Let's burn everything!

Eh! - Do we burn everything?
Great idea! Let's go!

Everybody freeze!

In the euphoria I threw away
my salary! The salary!