All language subtitles for The Big Lebowski 1998 REMASTERED 1080p BluRay H264
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:36,203
See them tumbling down
2
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:40,415
Pledging their love
to the ground
3
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,126
Way out West
there was this fella.
4
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,546
Fella I wanna tell you about.
5
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,091
Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.
6
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,803
Least that was the handle that
his loving parents gave him.
7
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,931
But he never had
much use for it himself.
8
00:00:56,014 --> 00:01:00,060
This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.
9
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,229
Now Dude,
10
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,983
that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.
11
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:11,446
But then there was a lot about the Dude that
didn't make a whole lot of sense to me,
12
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,199
and a lot about
where he lived likewise.
13
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,451
Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweeds
14
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,120
But then again,
15
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:21,290
maybe that's why I found the
place so darned interesting.
16
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,333
I know when night has gone
17
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,295
That a new world's
born at dawn
18
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:30,424
They call Los
Angeles the City of Angels.
19
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,552
I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.
20
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:37,347
But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.
21
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,100
Course, I can't say
I seen London,
22
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,436
and I never been to France,
23
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:47,566
and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.
24
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,568
But I'll tell you what,
25
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:54,948
after seeing Los Angeles and this
here story I'm about to unfold,
26
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,868
well, I guess
I've seen something
27
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:02,122
every bit as stupefying as you can
see in any of those other places,
28
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,374
and in English, too.
29
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,377
So I can die with
a smile on my face
30
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,255
without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.
31
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,300
Now, this here story
I'm about to unfold
32
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,386
took place back
in the early '90s,
33
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:21,308
just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.
34
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,978
I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...
35
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,105
I won't say a hero.
36
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,232
'Cause what's a hero?
37
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,652
But sometimes there's a man...
38
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,738
And I'm talking about
the Dude here.
39
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,491
Sometimes there's a man...
40
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:42,162
Well, he's the man
for his time and place.
41
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,998
He fits right in there.
42
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,460
And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.
43
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,172
And even if he is a lazy man,
44
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,883
and the Dude was
most certainly that,
45
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,720
quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,
46
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,683
which would place him high in the
running for laziest worldwide.
47
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,728
But sometimes there's a man...
48
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,606
Sometimes there's a man...
49
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,486
Well, I lost my train
of thought here.
50
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,821
But...
51
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,157
Hell, I done introduced him
enough.
52
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,576
...with them all
for a collective action.
53
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,370
This will not stand.
54
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,957
This will not stand, this
aggression against Kuwait.
55
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:33,338
Here on the range I belong
56
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,674
Drifting along
57
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,885
With the tumbling
58
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:44,391
Tumbleweeds
59
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,948
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
60
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,242
I want that money,
Lebowski.
61
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,786
Bunny says you're
good for it.
62
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,581
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
63
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,041
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
64
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,669
Where's the fucking money,
shithead?
65
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,883
It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.
66
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,552
Don't fuck with us.
67
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,806
Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,
68
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,768
that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.
69
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,061
Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.
70
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,731
No, don't do...
71
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,152
- Not on the rug, man.
- See?
72
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:40,572
See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?
73
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,617
Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.
74
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,452
I'm the Dude, man.
75
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,288
Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.
76
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,165
Your wife is Bunny.
77
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,418
My wife? Bunny?
78
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,462
Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?
79
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,839
Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?
80
00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,091
The toilet seat's up, man!
81
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,018
What the fuck is this?
82
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,312
Obviously you're
not a golfer.
83
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,025
Woo?
Yeah.
84
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,778
Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?
85
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,364
Fuck.
86
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,575
Yeah. What do you think?
87
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,953
He looks like
a fucking loser.
88
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,789
Hey, at least I'm housebroken.
89
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,582
Fucking time-waster.
90
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,543
Thanks a lot,
asshole.
91
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,427
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
92
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,848
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
93
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:51,309
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia-Ia Ia-Ia
94
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,478
La, Ia, Ia-Ia
95
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,399
La-Ia-Ia
96
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,652
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
97
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,112
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
98
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,158
The man in me will do
99
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,537
Nearly any task
100
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,875
And as for compensation
101
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,460
There's little he would ask
102
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,839
Take a woman like you
103
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,133
To get through
104
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,719
To the man in me
105
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:32,350
Storm clouds are raging
106
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,353
All around my door
107
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,898
I think to myself
108
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,484
I might not take it anymore
109
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,196
Take a woman like your kind
110
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:49,492
To find the man in me
111
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,915
But, oh
112
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,459
What a wonderful feeling
113
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:03,673
Just to know that you are near
114
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,472
Sets my heart a-reeling
115
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,976
From my toes
116
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,272
Up to my ears
117
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,567
The man in me will
hide sometimes
118
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,278
To keep from being seen
119
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,240
But that's just because
he doesn't want
120
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:32,243
To turn into some machine
121
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,746
Take a woman like you
122
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,332
To get through
123
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,292
To the man in me
124
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,758
I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.
125
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:51,346
I'm telling you, this
was a valued rug. This was a...
126
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,974
Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.
127
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,684
This was
a valued...
128
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,519
What tied the room together, Dude?
My rug.
129
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,104
Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?
130
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,271
What?
Walter.
131
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,066
Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling.
132
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,402
So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.
133
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,279
You're like a child who wanders into the
middle of a movie and wants to know...
134
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,825
Walter, what's the point, man? There's
no reason, here's my point, Dude.
135
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,535
There's no fucking reason
why these two...
136
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,786
Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?
137
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,871
Walter, what is the...
138
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,374
Look, we all know
who is at fault here.
139
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,668
What the fuck are you
talking about? Huh?
140
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,462
No, what the fuck
are you... I'm not...
141
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,340
We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.
142
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,092
What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.
143
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,969
Forget it, Donny! You're
out of your element!
144
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,638
Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,
145
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,557
I can't go
give him a bill!
146
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,308
So what the fuck
are you talking about?
147
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,518
What the fuck are
you talking about?
148
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,729
The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!
149
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,398
I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.
150
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,900
Across this line
you do not...
151
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:50,071
Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not
the preferred nomenclature.
152
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,781
Asian-American,
please.
153
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,285
Walter, this isn't a guy who built
the railroads here. This is a guy...
154
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,995
What the fuck
are you...
155
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,123
Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on the Dude's rug.
156
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,750
Donny, you're out
of your element.
157
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,128
Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.
158
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,630
So, who...
Jeff Lebowski.
159
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,842
The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.
160
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,678
That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.
161
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:17,724
Plus, he has the wealth,
obviously, and the resources,
162
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,351
so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reason
163
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,146
why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,
164
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,690
and then they come and they
pee on your fucking rug!
165
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,025
Am I wrong?
No.
166
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,651
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but...
167
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,778
Okay then.
168
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,616
That rug really tied the
room together, did it not?
169
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,618
Fucking A.
And this guy peed on it.
170
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,036
Donny, please.
171
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,287
You know, this is
the fucking guy...
172
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,664
I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.
173
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,084
His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.
174
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:48,463
This is the guy who should
compensate me for the fucking rug.
175
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,175
His wife goes out and owes money all
over town, and they pee on my rug?
176
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,302
They pee on
your fucking rug?
177
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,097
Peed on my fucking rug.
That's right, Dude.
178
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,850
They peed on
your fucking rug.
179
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,145
This is the study.
180
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,815
As you can see, the various
commendations, awards...
181
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,819
"Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations,
honorary degrees, et cetera.
182
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:14,572
Very impressive. Oh, please
feel free to inspect them.
183
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,283
Oh. No, I'm not really...
Oh, please. Please.
184
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,285
That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,
185
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:24,749
which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago
in recognition of his various civic...
186
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,504
Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber
of Commerce Business Achiever Award,
187
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,756
which is given... Oh, not
necessarily given every year.
188
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,924
Hey, is this...
189
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,259
Given only when there's
a worthy somebody...
190
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,635
ls this him with Nancy?
191
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,972
Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski
with the first lady, yes.
192
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,265
It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan...
193
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,976
That's Lebowski
on the left there?
194
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,812
Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left...
So he's a...
195
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,481
You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?
196
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,733
Mr. Lebowski is
disabled, yes.
197
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,571
This picture was taken when Mrs.
Reagan was first lady of the nation.
198
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,738
Yes, yes.
199
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,782
Not of California.
Good shot.
200
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,076
In fact, he met privately
with the President,
201
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,912
though, unfortunately, there wasn't
enough time for a photo opportunity.
202
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,956
Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman.
203
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,333
We were very happy to...
These are...
204
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,086
Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's
children, so to speak.
205
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,421
Different mothers, huh?
206
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,840
No, they're not... Racially,
he's pretty cool?
207
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,385
They're not literally
his children.
208
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,721
They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,
209
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,849
inner city children of promise, but
without the necessary means for...
210
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,934
Necessary means for
a higher education,
211
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,438
so Mr. Lebowski is committed to
sending all of them to college.
212
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,856
Excuse me.
Oh, geez.
213
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,691
Thank you. Thank you.
214
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:36,279
Far out. Think he's got room
for one more? One... Oh.
215
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,157
You never went to college.
216
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,326
Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, I did,
217
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,703
but, you know,
I spent most of my time
218
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,915
occupying various
administration buildings,
219
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,708
smoking a lot
of Thai stick,
220
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:52,045
breaking into
the ROTC and bowling.
221
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,380
Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.
222
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,348
Okay, sir. You're a
Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski.
223
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,183
That's terrific.
224
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,144
But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.
225
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,897
What can I do for you, sir?
226
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,525
Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.
227
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,611
It really tied
the room together.
228
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,405
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
229
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,990
Where do I fit in?
230
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,911
Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.
231
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,955
You know, they...
I'll say it again.
232
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:30,166
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
233
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,293
I know what happened.
Yes, yes.
234
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,588
Oh, so you know that they were
trying to piss on your rug.
235
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,882
Did I urinate on your rug?
236
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,218
You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?
237
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,262
Hello! Do you speak
English, sir?
238
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,222
G, Parla usted inglés?
239
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,183
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
240
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,603
No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
241
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,355
I just want to
understand this, sir.
242
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,359
Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,
243
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,194
I have to compensate
the person?
244
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,489
Come on, man. I'm not trying
to scam anybody here.
245
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,408
You know, I'm just...
246
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:07,036
You're just looking for
a handout like every other...
247
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,665
Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
248
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,085
Wait. Let me explain
something to you.
249
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,004
I am not Mr. Lebowski.
250
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,048
You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.
251
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,634
So that's what you call me.
You know?
252
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,803
That or His Dudeness,
253
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,347
or Duder or, you know,
254
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,475
El Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.
255
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,561
Are you employed, sir?
256
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,230
Employed?
257
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:40,153
You don't go out looking for a job
dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?
258
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,612
Is this a...
259
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,824
What day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.
260
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:49,078
So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind.
The Dude minds.
261
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,913
This will not stand, you know.
262
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,499
This aggression
will not stand, man.
263
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,335
I mean,
your wife owes money...
264
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,379
My wife is not
the issue here!
265
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,841
I hope that someday my wife will
learn to live on her allowance,
266
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,343
which is ample.
267
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,262
But if she does not, that
is her problem, not mine,
268
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,972
just as the rug
is your problem.
269
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:12,018
Just as every bum's lot in life
is his own responsibility,
270
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,812
regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
271
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,982
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
272
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,526
Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
273
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,029
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
274
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,492
I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.
275
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,038
Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
276
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,208
Yes, that's your answer. That's
your answer to everything.
277
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,043
Tattoo it on your forehead!
278
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,587
Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!
279
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,924
Condolences! The bums lost!
280
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,219
My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
281
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,096
Get a job, sir!
282
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,723
The bums will
always lose!
283
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,558
Do you hear me,
Lebowski?
284
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,061
The bums will
always lose.
285
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,606
How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?
286
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191
Okay»
287
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,777
The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.
288
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,113
Well, enjoy.
289
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,740
And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.
290
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:08,950
Yeah, sure.
291
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,911
If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,
292
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,581
and I need to use the john.
293
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,386
Blow on them.
Huh?
294
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,721
Go ahead. Blow.
295
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,852
You want me to blow
on your toes?
296
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,520
Uh-huh.
297
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,022
I can't blow that far.
298
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,281
Are you sure he won't mind?
299
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,451
Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.
300
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,786
Oh, that must be exhausting.
301
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,621
You're not blowing.
302
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,458
Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs.
Lebowski.
303
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,959
Oh!
304
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,919
You're Bunny.
305
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,381
I'll suck your cock
for $1,000.
306
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,721
Wonderful woman.
307
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,931
We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.
308
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,726
Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.
309
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,896
That's marvelous.
310
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,901
I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.
311
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,574
I'm slamming them tonight!
312
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,951
You guys are dead
in the water.
313
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,996
All right!
Way to go, Donny!
314
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:40,416
"lf you
will it, it is no dream."
315
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,920
Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?
316
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,005
Theodore Herzl.
Huh?
317
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,175
State of Israel. If you will
it, Dude, it is no dream.
318
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,135
What the fuck are you
talking about, man?
319
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,096
The carrier. What's in the
fucking carrier? Huh?
320
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,141
Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.
321
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,227
Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.
322
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,063
I'm watching it while Cynthia and
Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
323
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,065
You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?
324
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,691
What do you mean,
brought it bowling?
325
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,778
I didn't rent it shoes. I'm
not buying it a fucking beer.
326
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,947
He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.
327
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,367
Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked
me to take care of her fucking dog
328
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,202
while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,
329
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,871
I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?
330
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,790
First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.
331
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,043
Secondly, this is a fucking
show dog with fucking papers.
332
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,837
You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out.
333
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,257
Walter... Fucking dog
has fucking papers.
334
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,009
Over the line!
Huh?
335
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,428
I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line.
That's a foul.
336
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,180
Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.
337
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,392
Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.
338
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,395
Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.
339
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,064
Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling.
There are rules.
340
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,900
Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.
341
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,152
So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.
342
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405
It's just a game, man.
This is a league game.
343
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,407
This determines who enters
the next round robin.
344
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,242
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't...
345
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,869
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't over.
346
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,664
Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.
347
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,499
Smokey, my friend,
348
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,295
you're entering a world of pain.
Walter, man.
349
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:11,090
You mark that frame an eight,
you're entering a world of pain.
350
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,759
I'm not...
A world of pain.
351
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,928
Look,Dude,
this is your partner.
352
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,389
Has the whole world
gone crazy?
353
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,225
Am I the only one around here who
gives a shit about the rules?
354
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,560
Mark it zero!
355
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,729
They're calling the
cops, man. Put the piece away.
356
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,898
Mark it zero! DUDE: Walter,
put the piece away.
357
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,192
Walter. You think I'm
fucking around here?
358
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,902
Mark it zero!
359
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,953
All right. It's fucking zero.
360
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,122
You happy,
you crazy fuck?
361
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,501
It's a league game,
Smokey.
362
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,880
You can't do that, man.
363
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,674
These guys, you know, they're
like me, they're pacifists.
364
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,344
Smokey was a
conscientious objector.
365
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:59,263
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled
in pacifism at one point.
366
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,640
Not in Nam, of course.
367
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:04,185
And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.
368
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,687
You mean, beyond pacifism?
369
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,482
He's fragile.
He's very fragile.
370
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,070
I did not know that.
371
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,031
Well, it's all water
under the bridge.
372
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:20,117
And we do enter
the next round robin.
373
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,495
Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
374
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,330
Am I wrong?
You're not wrong, Walter.
375
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,790
You're just an asshole.
376
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,333
Okay then.
377
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,043
Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.
378
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,045
They should be pushovers.
379
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,674
Man, would you just...
380
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,509
Just take it easy, man.
381
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,886
You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.
382
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,847
Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not...
383
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,767
Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.
384
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,811
Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.
385
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,271
Just take it easy, man.
386
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,732
I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
387
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:55,277
Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.
388
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,279
Will you just take it easy?
389
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,907
Calmer than you are.
390
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,871
Dude, this is Smokey.
391
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,873
Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,
392
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,208
and I know
it wasn't your fault,
393
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,876
but I just thought
it was fair to tell you
394
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,170
that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the league
395
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,464
and asking them
to set aside the round.
396
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,217
I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.
397
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,554
So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.
398
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,097
Tell Walter.
399
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,432
I'm sorry.
400
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,644
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...
401
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,189
Well, at Mr. Leb0wski's
office.
402
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,775
Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.
403
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,571
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel Zelnicker
404
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,114
of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.
405
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:45,453
I just got an informal report that a
member of your team, a Walter Sobchak,
406
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,788
drew a firearm
during league play.
407
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,457
If this is true, of course,
408
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,250
it contravenes a
number of
the league's bylaws
409
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,043
and also article 27
of the league...
410
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,797
Dude.
Hey, Marty.
411
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,632
Dude, I finally got...
412
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,010
I got the venue I wanted.
413
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:05,014
I'm performing my dance
quintet, you know, my cycle,
414
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,850
at Crane Jackson's Fountain
Street Theater on Tuesday night.
415
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:12,188
And, well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.
416
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,732
I'll be there, man.
417
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,904
Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.
418
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,531
Far out.
419
00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:27,328
Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.
420
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,206
Just slip the rent
under my door.
421
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,420
...serious
infraction and examine your standing.
422
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,005
Thank you.
423
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:42,218
Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.
424
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,721
Please do call us as soon as you
get in and I'll send the limo.
425
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:49,391
I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,
426
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:52,144
which I assure you
is not a problem.
427
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,855
We need your help, and...
428
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:58,901
Well, we would very much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.
429
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,695
We've had some
terrible news.
430
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,989
Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.
431
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,954
Mr. Lebowski.
432
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,212
Funny.
433
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:23,217
I can look back on
a life of achievement,
434
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,511
challenges met,
435
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,638
competitors bested,
436
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,431
obstacles overcome.
437
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,395
I've accomplished
more than most men
438
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,772
and without
the use of my legs.
439
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,238
What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?
440
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:46,949
Dude.
Huh?
441
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:51,662
Oh, I don't know, sir.
442
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:54,623
Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,
443
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,419
whatever the cost?
444
00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:01,380
Isn't that what
makes a man?
445
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,009
Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.
446
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,386
You're joking,
447
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,265
but perhaps you're right.
448
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:13,267
You mind if I do a Jay?
449
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,353
Bunny.
450
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,773
Excuse me?
451
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,650
Bunny Lebowski.
452
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,904
She is the light of my life.
453
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,991
Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?
454
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,786
Oh, fucking A.
455
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,372
Strong men also cry.
456
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:40,002
Strong men also cry.
457
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:45,507
I received
this fax this morning.
458
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:52,097
As you can see,
it is a ransom note.
459
00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:55,100
"We have Bunny."
460
00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:59,438
Written by men who were unable to
achieve on a level field of play.
461
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:02,149
"Gather $1 million..."
462
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:05,653
Cowards! - - In unmarked,
nonconsecutive 20s-"
463
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:08,447
VVeakHngs!
"A wait instructions."
464
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,324
Bums!
"No funny stuff."
465
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,577
Bummer.
Huh?
466
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:18,540
This is a bummer, man.
That's... That's a bummer.
467
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:22,044
Brandt will fill you in
on the details.
468
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,355
Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a
generous offer to you to act as courier
469
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:43,983
once we get instructions
for the money.
470
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:45,234
Why me, man?
471
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:50,823
He believes the culprits might be
the very people who soiled your rug
472
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:55,828
and you are in a unique position to
confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.
473
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,663
He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?
474
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,665
Well, Dude,
we just don't know.
475
00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:34,009
Welcome to the
Hotel California
476
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:36,804
Such a lovely place
477
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,764
Fucking Quintana.
478
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,059
That creep can roll, man.
479
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,187
Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
Yeah.
480
00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:49,066
No, he's a sex offender
with a record.
481
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,111
He did six months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
482
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:55,489
When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-door
483
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,366
to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
484
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:01,829
What's a pederast, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
485
00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:06,750
So, how much
did he give you?
486
00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:10,087
20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.
487
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,547
Just for making a hand-off?
Yeah.
488
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,007
They gave Dude a beeper.
489
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,803
So whenever these guys call...
What if it's during a game?
490
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:20,514
Oh, I told them if it was
during league play...
491
00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:21,723
What's during
league play?
492
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:24,268
Life does not stop and
start at your convenience,
493
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,270
you miserable
piece of shit.
494
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,313
Ifigure... What's wrong
with Walter, Dude?
495
00:27:28,397 --> 00:27:30,899
I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.
496
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,818
She probably
kidnapped herself.
497
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,655
What do you mean, Dude?
Rug-peers did not do this.
498
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:41,618
Look at it. A young trophy wife
marries this guy for his money.
499
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,538
She figures he isn't giving
her enough, you know.
500
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:46,373
She owes money
all over town.
501
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:48,625
That fucking bitch!
502
00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:50,502
It's all a goddamn
fake, man.
503
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,504
It's like Lenin said,
504
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:57,551
you look for the person who
will benefit and, you know...
505
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,262
I Am the Walrus?
You know, you'll...
506
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,931
You know what I'm trying to say.
I Am the VVa/rus.
507
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,809
That fucking bitch!
Oh, yeah!
508
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,311
I Am the Walrus.
Thafis...
509
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,896
Shut the fuck up,
Donny!
510
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:12,024
V.l. Lenin, Vladimir
llyich Ulyanov!
511
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,275
What the fuck is
he talking about?
512
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,194
Fucking exactly what
happened to those...
513
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:16,820
That makes me
fucking sick!
514
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:19,865
Well, what do you care, Walter?
Those rich fucks.
515
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,909
This whole fucking thing.
516
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,745
I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muck
517
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,580
so that this
fucking strumpet,
518
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:27,831
this fucking whore,
could waltz around...
519
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:30,334
I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.
520
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,044
Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.
521
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:34,046
No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.
522
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,589
Your roll.
Have it your way.
523
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,007
Your roll.
But my point is...
524
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:39,885
My point is... QUINTANA: Are
you ready to be fucked, man?
525
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:44,348
I see you rolled your way
into the semis.
526
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,726
Dios mio, man.
527
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,646
Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
528
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:56,944
Yeah? Well, you know, that's
just like your opinion, man.
529
00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:01,240
Let me tell you
something, pendejo.
530
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:03,533
You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,
531
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:06,411
you flash a piece out
on the lanes,
532
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:09,414
I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass
533
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:12,709
and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.
534
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:15,921
Jesus.
535
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:17,673
You said it, man.
536
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,008
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
537
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:27,683
Eight-year-olds, Dude.
538
00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:54,042
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
539
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,545
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
540
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,255
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
541
00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:00,841
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
542
00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:02,926
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
543
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:06,722
La-Ia-Ia
544
00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:10,017
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
545
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,476
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
546
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:16,648
The man in me will do
547
00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,235
Nearly any task
548
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:24,156
And as for compensation
549
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:26,325
There's little he would ask
550
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:30,495
Take a woman like you
551
00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:32,706
To get through
552
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:35,250
To the man in me
553
00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:41,423
Storm clouds are raging
554
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,468
All around my door
555
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:47,429
I think to myself
556
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,974
I might not take it anymore
557
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:54,686
Take a woman like your kind
558
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:59,149
To find the man in me
559
00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,612
But, oh
560
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,782
What a wonderful feeling
561
00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,203
Just to know
562
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,747
That you are near
563
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:20,128
Sets my heart a-reeling
564
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,383
From my toes
565
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:27,969
Up to my ears
566
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:32,099
The man in me
will hide sometimes
567
00:31:32,182 --> 00:31:33,683
They called
about 80 minutes ago.
568
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:36,395
They want you to take the
money, drive north on the 405.
569
00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:37,813
They will call you
on the portable phone
570
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,981
with instructions
in about 40 minutes.
571
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,149
One person only.
572
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,652
They were very clear on that, or
I'd go with you. One person only.
573
00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:46,780
Vvhathappened to your jaw?
Oh, nothing, man.
574
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:49,950
Here's the money.
575
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,411
And the phone.
576
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:55,330
Please, Dude, follow whatever
instructions they give.
577
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,208
All right.
Her life is in your hands.
578
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,918
Man, don't say that.
579
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:02,587
Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat
that, her life is in your hands.
580
00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:04,005
Oh, shit, man.
581
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:06,425
Her life is in
yourhands,Dude.
582
00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:09,177
Report back to us
as soon as it's done.
583
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:22,941
Where the fuck are you going, man?
Take the ringer, I'll drive.
584
00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:25,235
The what?
The ringer.
585
00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:26,945
The ringer, Dude.
586
00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:36,663
What the...
Have they called yet?
587
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:38,540
What the hell is this?
588
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:41,501
My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.
589
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:45,714
Walter, I'm sure there's a reason
you brought your dirty undies, man.
590
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,090
That's right, Dude.
The weight.
591
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,467
The ringer cannot look empty.
592
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,635
Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?
593
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:52,637
You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.
594
00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:55,557
I got to thinking, why should we settle
for a measly fucking 20 grand...
595
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,852
We? What the fuck, "we"? You said
you just wanted to come along.
596
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:01,313
My point, Dude, is why should
we settle for 20 grand
597
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:04,065
when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
598
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:07,235
Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.
599
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,654
Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.
600
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,948
She kidnapped herself.
I said I thought...
601
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:20,248
Dude, here. MAN: Who is this?
602
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:24,628
Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?
603
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,754
Us?
604
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:28,465
Shit!
605
00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:33,011
Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.
606
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:36,848
I'm not handling the money, driving the
car and talking on the phone all by my...
607
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,183
Shut the fuck up!
608
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:41,269
Dude, are you fucking this up?
Who
is that?
609
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:45,190
That is the driver.
I told you...
610
00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,860
Oh, shit!
What the fuck's going on?
611
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,320
Walter...
What the fuck is going on?
612
00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:54,699
He hung up, man. You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!
613
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:57,369
Her “fie was 'm our hands, man.
Easy, Dude.
614
00:33:57,452 --> 00:34:01,331
We're screwed now. We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.
615
00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:04,125
We're fucked, Walter.
Nothing is fucked, Dude.
616
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:06,711
Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.
617
00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:09,214
They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped...
618
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:12,384
You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.
619
00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:16,346
Nothing is fucked. They're a
bunch of fucking amateurs.
620
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:18,932
Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?
621
00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:21,393
Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.
622
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:23,436
Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.
623
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,983
But they're amateurs.
Fuck.
624
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:30,735
Dude.
625
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:34,072
Okay, we proceed but only
if there is no funny stuff.
626
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,699
Yeah, yeah.
627
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:37,867
So no funny stuff. Okay?
628
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:40,537
Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.
629
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:46,376
That was the sign, man.
630
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:50,171
So, all we gotta do
is get her back.
631
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:52,632
No one's in a position
to complain.
632
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:55,135
We keep the baksheesh.
Yeah, terrific, Walter.
633
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:57,887
But you haven't told me how we're
gonna get her back. Where is she?
634
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,806
That's the simple part, Dude.
635
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:04,185
We make the hand-off, I grab one of
them and beat it out of him. Huh?
636
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,939
That's a great plan, Walter.
637
00:35:08,023 --> 00:35:10,150
That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.
638
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,193
It's a Swiss fucking watch.
639
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,405
That's right, Dude. The beauty
of this is its simplicity.
640
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:18,742
Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.
641
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:20,577
If there's one thing
I learned in Nam...
642
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,624
Dude.
643
00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,542
You are coming
to wooden bridge.
644
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:28,793
When you cross the bridge,
645
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:32,172
you throw the bag from the
left window of the moving car.
646
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:33,298
You're being watched.
647
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:36,968
Fuck. Wham he say'?
'nere's the hand-off'?
648
00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:38,720
There is no fucking
hand-off, man.
649
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:41,473
At the wooden bridge we throw
the money out of the oar.
650
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:44,392
We throw the money
out of the moving car.
651
00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:47,604
We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.
652
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,606
Well, call them up and
explain it to them, Walter.
653
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:50,940
Your plan is so
fucking simple,
654
00:35:51,024 --> 00:35:52,817
I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.
655
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:54,027
That's the beauty of it.
656
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,529
Wooden bfidge,huh?
Throw them the money, Walter.
657
00:35:56,613 --> 00:35:58,156
We're not fucking around, man.
658
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,492
Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up.
Give me the ringer, chop-chop.
659
00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:02,118
Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,
660
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:05,288
but sooner or later you're gonna have to
face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
661
00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:07,707
Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
Hey, man!
662
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,168
Here's the bridge.
Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!
663
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,962
Hey, Walter!
Here goes the ringer!
664
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:16,466
What the fuck?
Okay, Dude, you're wheel.
665
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,718
Hey, man, what the fuck?
At 15 mph, I roll out.
666
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,720
I double back, grab one of
them and beat it out of him.
667
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,013
The Uzi.
Uzi.
668
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,182
You didn't think I was rolling
out of here naked, did you?
669
00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:26,893
Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it!
Let's take that hill!
670
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,269
Walter!
671
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,795
We have it!
672
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:56,381
We have it!
673
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:58,425
We have it!
674
00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:14,983
Fuck it, Dude.
675
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:16,651
Let's go bowling.
676
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:58,443
Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.
677
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,320
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
678
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,490
What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?
679
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,700
Oh, him.
680
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,787
I don't know. Vvhatexacfly
is the problem?
681
00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:10,705
The problem is...
682
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,750
What do you mean,
what's the...
683
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,376
There was no...
684
00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:17,796
We didn't...
685
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,090
They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
686
00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:23,009
What the fuck
are you talking about?
687
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:25,637
The poor woman, that poor
slut kidnapped herself.
688
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,013
Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.
689
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,390
Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.
690
00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:30,975
You're the one who's
so fucking certain.
691
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:33,603
That's right, Dude.
100% certain.
692
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,396
They posted the next round
for the tournament.
693
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,731
Donny, shut the fuck...
694
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,817
When do we play?
This Saturday. Quintana and...
695
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,652
Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.
696
00:38:40,735 --> 00:38:43,071
Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?
697
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,491
I told that fuck down at the league office.
V\Iho's in charge of scheduling?
698
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,117
Walter!
Burkhalter.
699
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:51,162
I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times, I don't roll on shabbos!
700
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:52,539
Walter!
They already posted it.
701
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:54,207
Well, they can
fucking un-post it!
702
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,585
Who gives a shit? They're gonna
kill that poor woman, man!
703
00:38:57,710 --> 00:38:59,963
What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Come on, Dude.
704
00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:03,049
Eventually she'll get tired of her little
game and, you know, wander on back.
705
00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,676
How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?
706
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,885
I'm shomer shabbos.
707
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,929
What's that, Walter? Yeah,
and in the meantime,
708
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:09,430
what do I tell Lebowski?
709
00:39:09,514 --> 00:39:11,850
Saturday, Donny, is
shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.
710
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:14,394
That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,
711
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:15,979
I don't fucking
ride in a car,
712
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,897
I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the oven
713
00:39:17,981 --> 00:39:20,108
and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!
714
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:22,110
Sheesh.
715
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:23,736
Shomer shabbos!
716
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:28,324
Walter, how am I gonna...
Shomer fucking shabbos!
717
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:31,703
Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on, Dude.
718
00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:35,623
Dude!Dude!
719
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:39,210
You just tell him...
720
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:41,671
Tell him we made the drop and
everything went, you know...
721
00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:42,797
Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?
722
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,757
Went all right. Dude's car
got a little dinged up.
723
00:39:44,841 --> 00:39:47,218
Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!
724
00:39:47,302 --> 00:39:49,387
They didn't get
the fucking money!
725
00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:50,680
And they're gonna...
They're gonna...
726
00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,348
They're gonna kill
that poor woman.
727
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:55,101
They're gonna kill
that poor woman!
728
00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:56,644
Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,
729
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:58,104
then how do you get
around on shabbos?
730
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:00,231
Really, Dude,
you surprise me.
731
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:01,608
They're not gonna
kill shit.
732
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:02,817
They're not gonna do shit.
733
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,527
What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.
734
00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:06,446
And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.
735
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:08,781
Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?
736
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:09,991
Am I wrong?
Walter.
737
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,119
V\Iho's got a fucking million fucking
dollars sitting in the trunk of our oar?
738
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:16,247
Our car, Walter? And what do they got?
My dirty undies.
739
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:17,999
My fucking whites!
740
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:25,423
SaY,Dude?
741
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:28,217
Where is your car?
742
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:31,471
Who's got your undies, Walter?
Where's your car, Dude?
743
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:33,681
You don't know,
Walter?
744
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:38,061
It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.
745
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,689
You fucking
know it's been stolen.
746
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:44,692
Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.
747
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,487
Oh, fuck it.
748
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:53,451
Where you going, Dude?
I'm going home, Donny.
749
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:56,704
Phone's ringing, Dude.
Thank you, Donny!
750
00:41:12,387 --> 00:41:13,513
Yeah.
751
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:20,019
Green with some brown,
rust coloration.
752
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,357
And was there anything
of value in the car?
753
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,900
Oh, yeah.
754
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:31,614
A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a...
755
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,743
My briefcase.
756
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,956
In the briefcase?
757
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:43,251
Papers.
758
00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,586
Just papers.
759
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:49,966
You know, my papers,
business papers.
760
00:41:51,634 --> 00:41:54,971
And what do you do, sir?
I'm unemployed.
761
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:01,269
My rug was also stolen.
762
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,646
Your rug was in the car?
763
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,440
No. Here.
764
00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:07,775
Separate incidents.
765
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:11,529
The Dude is not in.
766
00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:14,449
Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?
767
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:16,868
Sometimes.
768
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:20,163
Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.
769
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:21,956
Or the Creedence.
770
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:26,085
What about the briefcase?
771
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,046
Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.
772
00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:30,048
Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.
773
00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:33,760
My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.
774
00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:36,929
Well, guess we can close
the file onthatone.
775
00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:31,442
I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.
776
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:53,381
Does the female form make you
uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
777
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:57,260
Is that what this is a picture of?
In a sense, yes.
778
00:43:57,343 --> 00:44:00,012
My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,
779
00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:01,180
which bothers some men.
780
00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:04,225
The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.
781
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,811
Vagina.
Oh, yeah?
782
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,313
Yes, they don't like hearing it
and find it difficult to say,
783
00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,773
whereas without
batting an eye,
784
00:44:10,857 --> 00:44:15,069
a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.
785
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,321
"Johnson"?
786
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:20,116
All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.
787
00:44:20,199 --> 00:44:22,660
My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,
788
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:26,706
but as it was a gift from me to my
late mother, it was not his to give.
789
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:28,708
Now, your face.
790
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:31,878
As for this kidnapping.
791
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,004
Huh?
792
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:36,507
Yes, I know all about it, and I
know that you acted as courier.
793
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,844
Let me tell you something. The
whole thing stinks to high heaven.
794
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:44,140
Yeah, right, but let me explain
something about the rug.
795
00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:46,434
Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?
796
00:44:47,435 --> 00:44:50,688
Excuse me? Sex, the physical
act of love. Coitus.
797
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:54,025
Do you like it? I was
talking about my rug.
798
00:44:54,108 --> 00:44:56,652
You're not interested in sex?
799
00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:59,030
You mean coitus?
I like it, too.
800
00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:01,365
It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.
801
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:03,868
It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.
802
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:05,369
However, there are
some people,
803
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,372
it is called satyriasis in
men, nymphomania in women,
804
00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:11,626
who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.
805
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,712
Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
806
00:45:14,795 --> 00:45:18,716
These unfortunate souls cannot love,
in the true sense of the word.
807
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:22,261
Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.
808
00:45:22,345 --> 00:45:24,555
Listen, Maude,
809
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:27,850
I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,
810
00:45:27,934 --> 00:45:31,312
but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with...
811
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:34,190
You have any Kahlua?
Take a look at this, sir.
812
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,570
Oh, I know that guy.
813
00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:43,366
He's a nihilist.
814
00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:46,661
"Karl Hungus."
815
00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:01,842
Hi.
Hello.
816
00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:04,887
Mein dispatcher says there is
something wrong with dein Kabel.
817
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:06,097
Yeah. Come on in.
818
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:08,599
I'm not really sure exactly what's
really wrong with the cable.
819
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:11,269
That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.
820
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:12,687
The TV's in here.
821
00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:15,940
You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools-
822
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,611
That's my friend Sherry.
823
00:46:20,695 --> 00:46:22,363
She just came over
to use the shower.
824
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,782
The story is ludicrous.
825
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:27,827
My name is Karl.
lch bin expert.
826
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,954
You must be here
to fix the cable.
827
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:32,915
Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.
828
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:34,458
He fixes the cable?
829
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:36,585
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
830
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,964
Little matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography,
831
00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:42,675
nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,
832
00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:44,510
to use the parlance
of our times.
833
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:48,556
However, I am one of the two
trustees of the Lebowski Foundation,
834
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,308
the other being my father.
835
00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,351
The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and...
836
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:53,811
Shit, yeah. The achievers.
837
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:57,606
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes,
and proud we are of all of them.
838
00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,527
I asked my father about his withdrawal of
$1 million from the foundation aooount,
839
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,446
and he told me
about this abduction,
840
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,156
but I tell you
it is preposterous.
841
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:09,160
This compulsive fornicator is taking
my father for the proverbial ride.
842
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:11,162
Yeah, but my...
I'm getting to your rug.
843
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,997
My father and I
don't get along.
844
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,707
He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,
845
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:16,459
needless to say,
I don't approve of his.
846
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:20,338
However, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter.
847
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:23,299
So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the money
848
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,509
from the people
you delivered it to.
849
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:28,512
Well, I could do that.
850
00:47:28,596 --> 00:47:30,473
If you successfully do so,
851
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:35,811
I will compensate you to the tune
of 10% of the recovered sum.
852
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:37,897
A hundred...
Thousand. Yes.
853
00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:40,733
Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
854
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:45,071
Yeah, but what about my...
Your rug, yes.
855
00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:47,740
Well, with that money you
can buy any number of rugs
856
00:47:47,823 --> 00:47:50,451
that don't have sentimental
value for me.
857
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:53,037
And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.
858
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,581
Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even...
859
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:58,209
Here's the name and number of a
doctor who will look at it for you.
860
00:47:58,292 --> 00:47:59,877
You will receive no bill.
861
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,545
He's a good man
and thorough.
862
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:03,214
That's thoughtful but...
863
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:06,801
Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.
864
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:10,596
Oh, well, all right.
865
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:13,265
So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.
866
00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:15,768
"She's always busting
my frigging agates.
867
00:48:15,851 --> 00:48:19,063
"My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.
868
00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:23,025
"L got a rash so bad on my
ass I can't even sit down.
869
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:25,236
"But you know me,
I can't complain."
870
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:27,154
Oh, fucking A, man.
871
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:29,990
I got a rash, man. Fucking A.
872
00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:33,577
I gotta tell you, Tone, man,
873
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:36,789
earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.
874
00:48:36,872 --> 00:48:38,791
Really down in the dumps.
875
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:40,251
Lost a little money...
876
00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:43,754
Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.
877
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:45,089
Yeah, fuck it, man.
878
00:48:45,172 --> 00:48:48,008
You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.
879
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:50,803
Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. L.
880
00:48:53,514 --> 00:48:55,808
Hey, yo. Come here.
881
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,394
Who's your friend in
the Volkswagen? Huh?
882
00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:02,481
Yeah.
He followed us here.
883
00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:05,484
When did he start...
Whoa! What the fuck?
884
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:07,695
Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!
885
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,656
Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!
886
00:49:12,324 --> 00:49:14,785
Start talking, and talk
fast, you lousy bum.
887
00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,704
We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.
888
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:19,331
Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?
889
00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,586
Well, we... I don't...
890
00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:25,963
They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!
891
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,631
They did not
receive the money!
892
00:49:27,715 --> 00:49:30,009
Her life was
in your hands!
893
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:31,635
This is our concern, Dude.
894
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,762
No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.
895
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:35,764
Nothing is fucked?
No, man.
896
00:49:35,848 --> 00:49:39,643
The goddamn plane has
crashed into the mountain!
897
00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:43,981
Man, come on. Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or...
898
00:49:44,064 --> 00:49:45,816
We dropped off the damn money.
899
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,193
We?
900
00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:51,489
I, the royal we.
901
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,907
You know. The editorial...
902
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,034
I dropped off the money
exactly as per...
903
00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:58,871
Look, man, I've got certain information.
All right?
904
00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:01,457
Certain things have
come to light and...
905
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:04,168
You know, has it ever
occurred to you
906
00:50:04,251 --> 00:50:09,673
that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me...
907
00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:11,967
You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,
908
00:50:12,051 --> 00:50:17,890
you know, this could be
a lot more complex...
909
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:22,937
I mean, it's not just... It might not
be just such a simple... You know?
910
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:26,524
What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?
911
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,984
Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.
912
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:31,028
I've got information, man.
913
00:50:31,111 --> 00:50:32,863
New shit has come to light.
914
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:34,907
And, shit, man,
915
00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:38,786
she kidnapped herself.
916
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:44,542
Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?
917
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,546
A young trophy wife, in the
parlance of our times, you know.
918
00:50:48,629 --> 00:50:53,801
She owes money all over town,
including to known pornographers.
919
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,972
And that's cool.
That's cool.
920
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:02,685
I'm saying she
needs money, man.
921
00:51:02,768 --> 00:51:06,438
And, you know, of course they're
gonna say they didn't get it
922
00:51:07,731 --> 00:51:10,568
because she wants more, man.
923
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:13,070
She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean...
924
00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:18,492
Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?
925
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,660
Sir?
926
00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:25,207
No, Mr. Lebowski, it had
not occurred to me.
927
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,501
That had not
occurred to us, Dude.
928
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,044
Well, okay, you know?
929
00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:33,632
You guys aren't privy to all
the new shit, so, you know...
930
00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:37,094
But, hey, that's what you...
That's what you pay me for.
931
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:40,639
Speaking of which,
932
00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:45,060
do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?
933
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:48,105
My concern is, and I've gotta
check it with my accountant,
934
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:50,941
that this might bump me up
into a higher tax...
935
00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:53,611
Brandt, give him
the envelope.
936
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,282
Oh, well, if you've already got
the check made out, that's cool.
937
00:51:58,365 --> 00:52:00,367
We received this
this morning.
938
00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:06,290
Since you have
failed to achieve,
939
00:52:06,373 --> 00:52:09,877
even in the modest task
which was your charge,
940
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,130
since you have
stolen my money,
941
00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:16,925
since you have unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,
942
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:20,971
I have no choice
but to tell these bums
943
00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,265
to do whatever is necessary
944
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:27,478
to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.
945
00:52:28,729 --> 00:52:32,816
And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,
946
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:36,153
any further harm
visited upon Bunny
947
00:52:36,236 --> 00:52:39,865
will be visited tenfold
upon your head.
948
00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:43,702
By God, sir,
949
00:52:44,244 --> 00:52:47,247
I will not abide another toe.
950
00:52:47,873 --> 00:52:53,253
I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above
951
00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:55,464
That wasn't her toe, Dude.
952
00:52:57,216 --> 00:53:00,219
Whose toe was it, Walter?
How the fuck should I know?
953
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:03,847
I do know that nothing about it
indicates... The nail polish, Walter.
954
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,224
Fine, Dude.
955
00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:09,186
As if it's impossible to get some nail
polish, apply it to someone else's toe...
956
00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:10,562
Someone else...
Pinking shears.
957
00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:12,022
Where the fuck are
they gonna get...
958
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,858
You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.
959
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,819
Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.
960
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:19,196
You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Yeah, but, Walter...
961
00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,700
Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00
this afternoon with nail polish.
962
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,702
These fucking amateurs.
Walter...
963
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:27,621
They send us a toe, we're supposed
to shit ourselves with fear.
964
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:29,248
Jesus Christ!
Walter...
965
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,458
The point is... They're
gonna kill her, Walter,
966
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,210
and then they're
gonna kill me.
967
00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:35,754
Dude, that's...
968
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,216
That's just the
stress talking, man.
969
00:53:39,299 --> 00:53:44,346
Now, so far we have what appears to me
to be a series of victimless crimes.
970
00:53:44,430 --> 00:53:46,974
What about the toe?
Forget about the fucking toe!
971
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:50,185
Excuse me, sir. Could you
please keep your voices down?
972
00:53:50,269 --> 00:53:52,062
This is a family restaurant.
973
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:54,565
Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,
974
00:53:54,648 --> 00:53:57,443
the Supreme Court has roundly
rejected prior restraint.
975
00:53:57,526 --> 00:53:59,903
Come on. Walter, this is not a
First Amendment thing, man.
976
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:03,157
Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
977
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:06,326
Lady, I got buddies who
died face down in the muck
978
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:09,079
so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!
979
00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:12,541
All right, I'm out of here.
Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.
980
00:54:12,624 --> 00:54:16,587
Come on. This affects all of us, man!
It's our basic freedoms!
981
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:22,801
I'm staying.
982
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:27,014
I'm finishing my coffee.
983
00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,645
EnlQYiTIQ my coffee.
984
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,039
The Dude is not in.
985
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:54,958
Leave a message after the beep.
It takes a minute.
986
00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:59,880
Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty
Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD.
987
00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:01,465
We've recovered
your automobile.
988
00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:04,843
It can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
989
00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:06,053
Their hours there are...
990
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:07,679
Far out, man. Far fucking out!
991
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:21,527
Hey! This is a private
residence, man.
992
00:55:29,910 --> 00:55:31,745
Oh, nice marmot.
993
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:45,592
Where is the money,
Lebowski? V\Ie wants the money, Lebowski!
994
00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:54,810
You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?
995
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:57,187
We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.
996
00:55:57,312 --> 00:56:01,233
Ja, we believes in nothing. V\Ie
believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!
997
00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:04,653
And tomorrow we come back
and we cut off your johnson.
998
00:56:04,736 --> 00:56:07,990
Excuse me? I said, we
cut off yourjohnson!
999
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:10,492
Just think about that,
Lebowski.
1000
00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:12,494
Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski.
1001
00:56:12,578 --> 00:56:14,913
Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.
1002
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:28,302
It was discovered last night in
Van Nuys lodged against an abutment.
1003
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:30,178
Oh, man. Lodged where?
1004
00:56:30,262 --> 00:56:32,556
You're lucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.
1005
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:35,058
Oh,man! Must've been
a joyride situation.
1006
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:37,686
They abandoned the vehicle once
they hit the retaining wall.
1007
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:41,106
Oh, my fucking briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!
1008
00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:42,900
Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.
1009
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,985
You gotta get in
on the other side.
1010
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:49,197
The side view was found
on the road by the car.
1011
00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:54,703
You're lucky they left the tape
deck though, and the Creedence.
1012
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:57,706
Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?
1013
00:56:57,789 --> 00:57:00,834
Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.
1014
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,670
Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.
1015
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:05,005
Hey, man,
1016
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,966
are you gonna find these guys?
1017
00:57:08,050 --> 00:57:12,596
Or, you know, I mean... You
got any promising leads or...
1018
00:57:12,888 --> 00:57:14,431
Leads?
1019
00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:16,099
Yeah. Sure.
1020
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:19,436
I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.
1021
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:23,357
They got four more detectives
working on the case.
1022
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,067
They got us working in shifts!
1023
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:31,698
Leads!
1024
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,952
My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills me
1025
00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:36,745
before the Germans
can cut my dick off.
1026
00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:37,955
Leads!
1027
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:39,706
Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.
1028
00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:41,500
No one's going to
cut your dick off.
1029
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,127
Thank you, Walter. Not if I
have anything to say about it.
1030
00:57:44,211 --> 00:57:45,253
Thank you, Walter.
1031
00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,381
That makes me feel very secure.
Dude?
1032
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:50,425
That makes me feel very
warm inside, man. Dude?
1033
00:57:50,509 --> 00:57:53,261
This whole fucking thing.
1034
00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:56,556
I could be sitting here with
just pee stains on my rug.
1035
00:57:56,682 --> 00:57:59,935
But no, man, I got a, you know...
Yeah. Fucking Germans.
1036
00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:01,186
Nothing changes.
1037
00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:05,816
Fucking Nazis.
They were Nazis, Dude?
1038
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,485
Oh, come on, Donny. They
were threatening castration!
1039
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,404
Uh-huh. Are we gonna
split hairs here?
1040
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:11,822
No.
Am I wrong?
1041
00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:15,200
Well, he didn't... Man,
they were nihilists, man.
1042
00:58:15,283 --> 00:58:17,828
They kept saying they
believed in nothing.
1043
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:19,246
Nihilists.
1044
00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:22,249
Fuck me.
1045
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:27,129
I mean, say what you want about the
tenets of national socialism, Dude.
1046
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:29,506
At least it's an ethos.
Yeah.
1047
00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:32,300
And, also, let's not forget...
Let's not forget, Dude,
1048
00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:35,345
that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,
1049
00:58:35,429 --> 00:58:38,974
for, you know,
domestic...
1050
00:58:39,057 --> 00:58:40,809
Within the city...
1051
00:58:41,601 --> 00:58:44,688
That ain't legal, either. What are
you, a fucking park ranger now?
1052
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:46,356
No! I'm just
trying to...
1053
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,151
Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?
1054
00:58:49,276 --> 00:58:52,487
e are sympathmng here, Dude.
Fuck sympathy.
1055
00:58:52,571 --> 00:58:56,491
I don't need your fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.
1056
00:58:57,451 --> 00:59:00,662
What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man!
1057
00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:03,540
You cannot drag this negative
energy into the tournament.
1058
00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:06,293
Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.
1059
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,006
Fuck the tournament?
1060
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,092
Okay, Dude. I can see you don't
want to be cheered up here.
1061
00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:16,636
Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.
1062
00:59:21,641 --> 00:59:24,311
Another Caucasian, Gary.
Right, Dude.
1063
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:30,150
Friends like these, huh, Gary?
That's right, Dude.
1064
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:42,829
See them tumbling down
1065
00:59:43,789 --> 00:59:49,002
Pledging their love
to the ground
1066
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:53,924
Lonely, but free,
I'll be found
1067
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,386
You got a good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City Sarsaparilla?
1068
00:59:58,470 --> 01:00:00,430
Yeah. That's a good one.
1069
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:05,811
How're you doing there,
Dude?
1070
01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:07,979
Not too good, man.
1071
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:10,982
One of those days, huh?
Yeah.
1072
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:16,947
Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,
1073
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:18,824
"Sometimes you eat
the bear and..."
1074
01:00:20,367 --> 01:00:22,452
Much obliged.
1075
01:00:22,536 --> 01:00:26,373
"Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."
1076
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:30,794
That some kind of
Eastern thing?
1077
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,337
Far from it.
1078
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:41,054
I like your style, Dude.
1079
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:46,309
Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.
1080
01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:48,687
Got a whole cowboy thing
going.
1081
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,526
Thank you.
1082
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:56,528
There's just one thing, Dude.
1083
01:00:56,611 --> 01:00:58,363
What's that?
1084
01:00:58,446 --> 01:01:01,074
Do you have to use
so many cuss words?
1085
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:06,788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1086
01:01:08,081 --> 01:01:10,542
Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
1087
01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:15,172
Take her easy, Dude.
1088
01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:16,923
Yeah. Thanks, man.
1089
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,639
Call for you, Dude.
1090
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:32,063
Hello?
MA LJDE: Jeffrey, you
have not gone to the doctor.
1091
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:35,233
Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.
1092
01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:37,819
I'd like to see you
immediately.
1093
01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:39,779
Oh?
1094
01:01:52,459 --> 01:01:55,754
So, you're Lebowski.
Yeah.
1095
01:01:58,632 --> 01:02:00,759
Maude has told me
all about you.
1096
01:02:00,842 --> 01:02:03,303
She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.
1097
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,723
Do you want a drink?
Yeah, sure. White Russian.
1098
01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:09,476
The bar's over there.
1099
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:18,401
So, what do you do, Lebowski?
Who the fuck are you, man?
1100
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:23,740
Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah?
The friend with the cleft asshole?
1101
01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:29,454
What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.
1102
01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:32,582
Hello, Jeffrey.
Hello.
1103
01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:35,543
Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.
1104
01:02:36,294 --> 01:02:37,837
I got to
1105
01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:42,467
tender my resignation
or whatever
1106
01:02:42,550 --> 01:02:47,555
because looks like your mother
really was kidnapped after all.
1107
01:02:47,639 --> 01:02:49,683
She most certainly was not.
1108
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:54,813
Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?
1109
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:57,440
You might learn something.
Now, I got...
1110
01:02:57,607 --> 01:03:00,360
Please
don't call her my mother.
1111
01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:03,280
She's most definitely the
perpetrator and not the victim.
1112
01:03:03,363 --> 01:03:06,199
I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.
1113
01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:09,119
From who?
From the main guy, Uli.
1114
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:12,539
Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?
1115
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:17,294
You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?
1116
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:20,213
I might have introduced them,
for all I know.
1117
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,465
Do you remember Uli?
1118
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:25,302
He's a musician. Used to
have a group, Autobahn.
1119
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:29,931
Look in my LP's. They released
one album in the late '70s.
1120
01:03:30,015 --> 01:03:32,934
Their music is
sort of a techno pop.
1121
01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:36,479
So he's pretending to be the abductor?
V\Iell, yeah.
1122
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:39,941
Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap
someone you're acquainted with.
1123
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:44,529
The whole idea is that the hostage can't
identify you after you've let them go.
1124
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:46,323
Well, I know that.
1125
01:03:50,493 --> 01:03:53,163
What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?
1126
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,750
Knox Harrington,
the video artist.
1127
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,752
So, Uli has the money.
1128
01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:03,506
Well, no, not exactly.
1129
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,134
This is a very complicated
case, Maude.
1130
01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:08,261
You know, a
lot of ins, a lot of outs,
1131
01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:09,512
a lot of what-have-yous
1132
01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:12,182
and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.
1133
01:04:12,265 --> 01:04:14,726
You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.
1134
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:16,019
Hello?
1135
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:17,979
If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?
1136
01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:19,981
It's Sandra
about the Biennale.
1137
01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:23,568
Look. I have to take this. Do you
still have that doctor's number?
1138
01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:27,197
No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
Oh, please, Jeffrey.
1139
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,367
I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.
1140
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,537
Aftereffects?
1141
01:05:03,983 --> 01:05:07,278
Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?
1142
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:08,446
Mmm?
1143
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,740
No, no, man.
She hit me right here.
1144
01:05:10,824 --> 01:05:14,494
I understand. Could you slide
your shorts down, please?
1145
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:27,924
Just got home from Illinois
1146
01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:30,176
Locked the front door, oh, boy
1147
01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:34,472
Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porch
1148
01:05:34,848 --> 01:05:37,016
Imagination sets in
1149
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:39,310
Pretty soon I'm singin'
1150
01:05:39,394 --> 01:05:41,229
Doo,doo,doo
1151
01:05:41,312 --> 01:05:43,398
Looking out my back door
1152
01:05:43,481 --> 01:05:46,192
Keeping mighty cool. There's
a
giant doing cartwheels
1153
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:48,528
A statue wearing high heels
1154
01:05:48,611 --> 01:05:50,864
Look at all the
happy creatures
1155
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:53,199
Dancing on the lawn
1156
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:57,620
A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens
1157
01:05:57,745 --> 01:05:59,747
Doo, doo, doo
1158
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,916
Looking out my back door
1159
01:06:02,375 --> 01:06:06,713
Tambourines and
elephants are playing in the band
1160
01:06:08,214 --> 01:06:09,382
Doo,doo,doo
1161
01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:13,428
Wondrous apparition
provided by magician
1162
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:15,722
Doo,doo,doo
1163
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:18,475
Looking out my back door
1164
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:40,997
Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
1165
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:44,501
Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?
1166
01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:46,002
Doo,doo,doo
1167
01:06:46,085 --> 01:06:47,837
Bother me tomorrow
1168
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:50,381
Today I'll buy no sorrows
1169
01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:51,883
Doo,doo,doo
1170
01:06:51,966 --> 01:06:54,761
Looking out my back door
1171
01:07:47,146 --> 01:07:50,608
He lives in North Hollywood on
Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger.
1172
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:52,860
No, the ln-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.
1173
01:07:52,944 --> 01:07:55,363
Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those
are good burgers, Walter.
1174
01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:58,324
Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid
is in the ninth grade, Dude.
1175
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:01,035
And his father is...
Are you ready for this?
1176
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:04,455
His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.
1177
01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:06,124
Who the fuck is that?
1178
01:08:06,207 --> 01:08:09,252
Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
VVhO the...
1179
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:11,713
Have you ever heard of a little
show called Branded, Dude?
1180
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:12,839
Yes, yes, I...
1181
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:14,924
"All but one man died
there at Bitter Creek."
1182
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:17,260
I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?
1183
01:08:17,343 --> 01:08:21,389
Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
1184
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,182
The bulk of the series.
1185
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:24,309
Oh.
1186
01:08:24,350 --> 01:08:26,936
Not exactly a lightweight. No.
1187
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:29,355
And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.
1188
01:08:30,857 --> 01:08:33,568
Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.
1189
01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:35,320
We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.
1190
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:36,613
We'll be near
the ln-N-Out Burger.
1191
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:37,822
Shut the fuck up, Donny!
1192
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:43,328
V\Ie'll go out there, we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.
1193
01:08:43,411 --> 01:08:45,538
We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,
1194
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,749
if he hasn't
spent it already.
1195
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:49,876
A million fucking clams.
1196
01:08:49,959 --> 01:08:53,630
And, yes, we'll be near the...
ln-N-Out.
1197
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:57,467
Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers.
A few laughs.
1198
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:02,472
Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.
1199
01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,945
Oh, fuck me, man.
1200
01:09:18,029 --> 01:09:20,823
That kid's already spent
all the money, man.
1201
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:23,159
New Vette? Hardly, Dude.
1202
01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:28,581
I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000
left, depending on the options.
1203
01:09:29,290 --> 01:09:30,291
Wait in the car, Donny.
1204
01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:36,464
Yes?
Pilar?
1205
01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:41,803
My name is Walter Sobchak. This is
my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.
1206
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:45,515
We came to talk
about little Larry.
1207
01:09:45,598 --> 01:09:47,684
May we come in?
Yes, yes.
1208
01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,102
Thank you.
1209
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:55,066
That's him, Dude.
1210
01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:05,076
And a good day
to you, sir!
1211
01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:07,161
Sit down, please.
1212
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,378
Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!
1213
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:18,297
Is he...
Does he still write?
1214
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:21,509
Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.
1215
01:10:21,676 --> 01:10:22,885
Uh-huh.
1216
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:26,681
Sir, I just want to say
1217
01:10:27,682 --> 01:10:30,143
that we're both,
on a personal level,
1218
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:33,604
really enormous fans.
1219
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:36,858
Branded, especially
the early episodes,
1220
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,068
was truly a source
of inspiration.
1221
01:10:39,152 --> 01:10:41,946
Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.
1222
01:10:42,029 --> 01:10:45,616
Oh, no, ma'am. V\Ie didn't want to give the
impression that we were police, exactly.
1223
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:48,453
V\Ie're hoping it won't be
necessary to call the police.
1224
01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:50,997
But that's up to
little Larry here.
1225
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,707
Isn't it, Larry?
1226
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,720
Is this your homework,
Larry?
1227
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,390
Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it...
1228
01:11:09,474 --> 01:11:12,852
Dude. Please? ls this
your homework, Larry?
1229
01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:14,312
Just ask him about
the car, man.
1230
01:11:14,395 --> 01:11:16,731
Is this yours, Larry? ls
this your homework, Larry?
1231
01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:18,024
Is that your car out front?
1232
01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:21,027
Is this your homework, Larry? We
know it's his fucking homework!
1233
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:23,362
Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?
1234
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,449
Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?
1235
01:11:26,574 --> 01:11:28,868
For Christ's sake, Walter. You are
entering a world of pain, son.
1236
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:31,621
We know that this is your homework.
We know that you stole the car.
1237
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:34,248
And the fucking money.
And the fucking money!
1238
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:36,000
And we know that
this is your homework!
1239
01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:37,293
We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.
1240
01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:39,337
You're killing
your father, Larry.
1241
01:11:42,507 --> 01:11:44,592
All right.
This is pointless.
1242
01:11:45,885 --> 01:11:48,554
Okay, time for Plan B.
1243
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:53,768
You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.
1244
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:58,439
Son, this is what happens when
you fuck a stranger in the ass!
1245
01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:02,068
A little language
problem here.
1246
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:04,529
Little prick's
stonewalling me.
1247
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:06,948
Walter.
1248
01:12:07,657 --> 01:12:09,659
What are you doing, man?
1249
01:12:12,286 --> 01:12:14,080
What are you doing?
1250
01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:17,083
Here you go, Larry.
1251
01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,168
You see what happens?
1252
01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:21,295
You see what happens, Larry?
1253
01:12:22,046 --> 01:12:23,881
You see what happens?
Oh, great.
1254
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:27,552
This is what happens when you fuck
a stranger in the ass, Larry.
1255
01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:32,223
This is what happens, Larry.
1256
01:12:32,306 --> 01:12:34,141
You see what happens, Larry?
1257
01:12:34,225 --> 01:12:36,686
You see what happens when you
fuck a stranger in the ass?
1258
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,980
This is what happens!
1259
01:12:39,146 --> 01:12:41,232
You see what happens, Larry?
1260
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,693
You see what happens, Larry?
1261
01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:47,488
Do you see what happens, Larry, when
you fuck a stranger in the ass?
1262
01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:50,283
This is what happens, Larry!
1263
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:52,034
This is what happens, Larry!
1264
01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:54,871
My car! My baby!
This is what happens, Larry!
1265
01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,914
This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger...
1266
01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:59,667
What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!
1267
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:02,253
Hey, man. I just bought
that fucking car last week!
1268
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:05,381
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
1269
01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,634
I just bought the fucking car last week!
Come on, man.
1270
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,553
I'll kill your
fucking car, man!
1271
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:12,680
No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!
1272
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,224
God damn it!
Whoa! Oh, no!
1273
01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:17,101
Fuck you!
Man. No.
1274
01:13:17,184 --> 01:13:19,687
You like that? Fuck you!
1275
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:23,232
- I'll kill your fucking car!
- No. No, no. No.
1276
01:13:23,316 --> 01:13:25,234
I'll kill your fucking car!
1277
01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:48,174
I accept your apology.
1278
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:52,845
No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.
1279
01:13:54,055 --> 01:13:56,098
No.No.No!
1280
01:13:56,182 --> 01:13:58,017
That has nothing
to do with it.
1281
01:13:59,393 --> 01:14:02,772
Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.
1282
01:14:04,398 --> 01:14:09,153
No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!
1283
01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:13,366
Well, that's your perception.
1284
01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:17,745
You know, Walter,
you're right.
1285
01:14:17,828 --> 01:14:19,789
There is an unspoken
message here.
1286
01:14:19,872 --> 01:14:22,291
It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"
1287
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,046
Yeah, I'll be at practice.
1288
01:14:44,647 --> 01:14:46,482
Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.
1289
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,317
Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.
1290
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:51,278
Jackie Treehorn knows which
Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
1291
01:14:51,362 --> 01:14:54,198
Jackie Treehorn wants to
see the deadbeat Lebowski.
1292
01:14:54,281 --> 01:14:56,158
You're not dealing
with morons here.
1293
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:47,209
Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.
1294
01:15:47,293 --> 01:15:48,961
I'm Jackie Treehorn.
1295
01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:54,592
This is quite a pad
you got here, man.
1296
01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:56,677
Completely unspoiled.
1297
01:15:56,761 --> 01:15:59,972
What's your drink, Dude?
A White Russian. Thanks.
1298
01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:02,141
White Russian.
1299
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:06,729
How's the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn't know, Dude.
1300
01:16:06,812 --> 01:16:12,234
I deal in publishing,
entertainment, pofificaladvocacy.
1301
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:15,571
Which one's Logjammin'?
Yes, regrettably, it's true.
1302
01:16:15,654 --> 01:16:18,491
Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.
1303
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,201
It's video, Dude.
1304
01:16:21,035 --> 01:16:22,870
Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,
1305
01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:26,499
we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,
1306
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:30,252
production value, feelings.
1307
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:37,218
You know, people forget that the
brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
1308
01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:39,428
On you maybe.
1309
01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:41,430
Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.
1310
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:44,433
New technology permits us
to do very exciting things
1311
01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:47,228
in interactive
erotic software.
1312
01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:51,398
Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.
1313
01:16:52,733 --> 01:16:55,361
Well, I still jerk off
manually.
1314
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:02,034
Of course you do. I can see you're
anxious for me to get to the point.
1315
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:04,829
Well, here it is, Dude.
1316
01:17:04,912 --> 01:17:06,497
Where's Bunny?
1317
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:09,125
Well, I thought you might know that, man.
V\Ihy would I?
1318
01:17:09,208 --> 01:17:13,462
She only ran off to get away from
that rather sizable debt to me.
1319
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:15,965
No, she didn't run off.
She's been...
1320
01:17:16,048 --> 01:17:18,134
I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.
1321
01:17:18,217 --> 01:17:20,219
I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.
1322
01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:24,974
And I don't care what you're
trying to get from the husband.
1323
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:26,559
That's your business.
1324
01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:30,479
All I'm saying is I want mine.
1325
01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:31,814
Yeah, right, man.
1326
01:17:31,897 --> 01:17:35,776
I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,
1327
01:17:35,901 --> 01:17:37,778
a lot of interested parties.
1328
01:17:38,195 --> 01:17:39,530
Excuse me.
1329
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:46,328
Yeah?
1330
01:17:47,288 --> 01:17:48,455
Oh. yeah?
1331
01:17:48,539 --> 01:17:49,957
Where is that?
1332
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,713
All right. Yeah.
1333
01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:00,050
Excuse me.
1334
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:39,215
Forgive me.
No problemo, man.
1335
01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:43,636
So, if I can find your money,
1336
01:18:45,429 --> 01:18:47,306
what's in it for the Dude?
1337
01:18:47,389 --> 01:18:50,559
Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?
1338
01:18:50,643 --> 01:18:54,104
Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.
1339
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,650
That all right?
Okay. Done, Jackie.
1340
01:18:58,609 --> 01:19:00,903
I dig the way
you do business, man.
1341
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:04,615
Your money is being held by
a kid named Larry Sellers.
1342
01:19:04,698 --> 01:19:07,451
He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,
1343
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:11,163
by the ln-N-Out Burger.
1344
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:12,289
Fucking brat.
1345
01:19:12,373 --> 01:19:16,585
But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.
1346
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:20,798
Flunking social studies.
1347
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:27,054
So, if you could just
1348
01:19:27,137 --> 01:19:31,433
write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,
1349
01:19:31,517 --> 01:19:34,603
5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.
1350
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,527
You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.
1351
01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:45,114
Fifteen-year-old kid.
1352
01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:49,868
Is this some sort of a joke?
No. No joke.
1353
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:54,790
No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.
1354
01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:56,041
Hi, fellas.
1355
01:19:58,752 --> 01:20:00,379
Kid just wanted a car.
1356
01:20:03,674 --> 01:20:07,052
All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.
1357
01:20:07,553 --> 01:20:08,887
Not greedy.
1358
01:20:10,556 --> 01:20:11,932
It really
1359
01:20:13,559 --> 01:20:15,269
tied the room together.
1360
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:21,400
Darkness washed
over the Dude.
1361
01:20:21,483 --> 01:20:25,988
Darker than a black steer's tokus
on a moonless prairie night.
1362
01:20:26,947 --> 01:20:29,742
There was no bottom.
1363
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:46,258
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1364
01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:49,928
What condition
my condition was in
1365
01:20:51,930 --> 01:20:57,269
I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining in
1366
01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:05,611
I found my mind in
a brown paper bag within
1367
01:21:08,489 --> 01:21:12,743
I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles high
1368
01:21:12,826 --> 01:21:16,872
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
1369
01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,707
I just dropped in
1370
01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:22,961
To see what condition
my condition was in
1371
01:21:23,337 --> 01:21:26,006
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1372
01:21:26,090 --> 01:21:29,385
What condition
my condition was in
1373
01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:39,228
I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark hole
1374
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:41,980
And then I followed it in
1375
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:47,027
I watched myself crawlin' out
1376
01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:50,989
As I was a-crawlin' in
1377
01:21:51,615 --> 01:21:54,076
I got up so tight
1378
01:21:54,159 --> 01:21:56,286
I couldn't unwind
1379
01:21:56,370 --> 01:22:00,499
I saw so much I broke my mind
1380
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:02,418
I just dropped in
1381
01:22:02,501 --> 01:22:06,213
To see what condition
my condition was in
1382
01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,766
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1383
01:22:17,850 --> 01:22:21,103
What condition
my condition was in
1384
01:22:26,984 --> 01:22:30,779
Someone painted "April Fool"
1385
01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:33,490
In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" sign
1386
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:39,496
I had my foot on the gas
as I left the road
1387
01:22:39,580 --> 01:22:43,167
And blew out my mind
1388
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:48,088
Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spare
1389
01:22:48,172 --> 01:22:52,050
Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhere
1390
01:22:52,384 --> 01:22:54,303
I just dropped in
1391
01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:58,724
To see what condition
my condition was in
1392
01:23:00,142 --> 01:23:02,478
I said I just dropped in
1393
01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:06,732
To see what condition
my condition was in
1394
01:23:07,107 --> 01:23:10,194
Yeah, yeah
1395
01:23:10,277 --> 01:23:16,575
Oh, yeah
1396
01:24:10,712 --> 01:24:14,132
He was innocent
1397
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,679
Not a charge was true
1398
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:24,977
And they say
he ran away branded
1399
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:40,200
ls this your only ID?
1400
01:24:40,993 --> 01:24:42,911
I know my rights, man.
1401
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:46,790
You don't know shit, Lebowski.
1402
01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:49,585
I want a fucking lawyer,
man.
1403
01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:53,839
L want Bill Kunstler, man,
1404
01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:57,050
or Ron Kuby.
1405
01:24:57,134 --> 01:25:00,304
Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject you
1406
01:25:00,387 --> 01:25:02,389
from his garden party,
1407
01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:04,766
that you were drunk
and abusive.
1408
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:09,938
Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.
1409
01:25:10,439 --> 01:25:13,567
Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.
1410
01:25:13,650 --> 01:25:16,028
You don't draw shit, Lebowski.
1411
01:25:16,111 --> 01:25:18,822
Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,
1412
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:21,450
and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.
1413
01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,869
So let me make
something plain.
1414
01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:28,498
I don't like you sucking around
bothering our citizens, Lebowski.
1415
01:25:29,207 --> 01:25:31,460
I don't like your
jerk-off name.
1416
01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:32,794
I don't like your
jerk-off face.
1417
01:25:32,878 --> 01:25:34,504
I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.
1418
01:25:34,588 --> 01:25:37,549
And I don't like you,
jerk-off.
1419
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,096
Do I make myself clear?
1420
01:25:46,224 --> 01:25:48,226
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
1421
01:25:49,728 --> 01:25:50,771
Ow!
1422
01:25:50,854 --> 01:25:52,439
Fucking fascist!
1423
01:25:54,066 --> 01:25:56,234
Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.
1424
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:59,196
Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!
1425
01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:04,868
Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking
ass out of my beach community.
1426
01:26:05,035 --> 01:26:07,704
I want to sleep with you
1427
01:26:07,788 --> 01:26:10,916
In the desert tonight
1428
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:16,797
With a billion stars
all around
1429
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,842
Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?
1430
01:26:20,926 --> 01:26:22,594
Fuck you, man! If you don't
like my fucking music,
1431
01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,179
get your own fucking cab!
1432
01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:25,347
I had a really rough...
1433
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:27,182
I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.
1434
01:26:27,265 --> 01:26:31,978
Man, come on. I had a rough night,
and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
1435
01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:42,322
Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Man!
1436
01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:45,951
Man! Man! Hey!
1437
01:26:57,129 --> 01:27:01,049
There 's a
thousand
pretty women waiting out there
1438
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:04,886
And they're all livin'
devil may care
1439
01:27:04,970 --> 01:27:08,557
And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
1440
01:27:08,807 --> 01:27:12,102
So viva Las Vegas
1441
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:16,481
Viva Las Vegas
1442
01:27:28,493 --> 01:27:31,121
Oh, Jesus!
1443
01:27:51,057 --> 01:27:52,309
Jeffrey.
1444
01:27:53,226 --> 01:27:55,103
Maude?
Love me.
1445
01:27:57,898 --> 01:27:59,858
That's my robe.
1446
01:28:01,151 --> 01:28:03,069
Tell me about
yourself, Jeffrey.
1447
01:28:03,904 --> 01:28:06,156
Well, not much to tell.
1448
01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:12,913
I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.
1449
01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:16,917
The original Port Huron Statement.
Uh-huh.
1450
01:28:17,375 --> 01:28:20,921
Not the compromised
second draft.
1451
01:28:22,839 --> 01:28:24,549
Then I...
1452
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:28,261
You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?
1453
01:28:28,345 --> 01:28:29,721
That was me.
1454
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:35,227
And there were
six other guys.
1455
01:28:36,770 --> 01:28:39,981
And then the music business,
briefly.
1456
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:41,608
Oh?
Yeah.
1457
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,401
Roadie for Metallica.
1458
01:28:43,485 --> 01:28:44,528
Oh.
1459
01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:46,112
Speed of Sound tour.
1460
01:28:46,488 --> 01:28:47,864
Mmm-hmm.
1461
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:49,991
Bunch of assholes.
1462
01:28:51,284 --> 01:28:54,663
And then, you know, little
of this, little of that.
1463
01:28:56,039 --> 01:28:59,292
My career's slowed down
a little lately.
1464
01:28:59,376 --> 01:29:02,504
What do you do
for recreation?
1465
01:29:03,296 --> 01:29:04,756
Well, the usual.
1466
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:07,634
Bowl, drive around,
1467
01:29:09,094 --> 01:29:11,429
the occasional
acid flashback.
1468
01:29:17,644 --> 01:29:19,729
What happened
to your house?
1469
01:29:19,813 --> 01:29:22,357
Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.
1470
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:25,360
He thought I had
your father's money.
1471
01:29:25,443 --> 01:29:28,613
He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.
1472
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:30,824
Cocktail?
No, thanks.
1473
01:29:30,907 --> 01:29:33,994
It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.
1474
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:37,789
Why did he think you have it?
Who does?
1475
01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:42,335
Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.
1476
01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:45,964
You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.
1477
01:29:46,047 --> 01:29:48,049
A lot of ins, a lot of outs.
1478
01:29:48,717 --> 01:29:53,263
You know, fortunately, I'm adhering
to a pretty strict, drug regimen
1479
01:29:53,346 --> 01:29:55,599
to keep my mind,
you know, limber,
1480
01:29:55,682 --> 01:29:59,227
and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.
1481
01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:01,938
I keep telling you, it's
the foundation's money.
1482
01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:03,648
Father doesn't have any.
1483
01:30:05,233 --> 01:30:07,402
What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.
1484
01:30:07,485 --> 01:30:09,821
No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.
1485
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:12,073
No, he runs stuff.
1486
01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:14,701
We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,
1487
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:17,704
but he didn't do very well at it.
Oh, he's, you know...
1488
01:30:17,787 --> 01:30:20,165
No, he helps administer
the charities now,
1489
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:22,876
and I give him
a reasonable allowance.
1490
01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:24,628
He has no money of his own.
1491
01:30:24,711 --> 01:30:26,421
I know how he likes
to present himself.
1492
01:30:26,504 --> 01:30:29,799
Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.
1493
01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,678
Do you think he...
1494
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:36,514
What is that, yoga?
1495
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:38,975
It increases the chances
ofconcepflon.
1496
01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:44,439
Increases...
Well, yes.
1497
01:30:44,522 --> 01:30:47,484
What did you think this was all about?
Fun and games?
1498
01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:49,110
L want a child.
1499
01:30:49,694 --> 01:30:51,529
Okay, yeah, okay.
1500
01:30:51,613 --> 01:30:54,449
But let me... Let me explain
something about the Dude.
1501
01:30:54,532 --> 01:30:57,994
Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.
1502
01:30:58,078 --> 01:31:01,790
In fact, I don't want the father to
be someone I have to see socially
1503
01:31:01,873 --> 01:31:04,960
or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.
1504
01:31:06,378 --> 01:31:09,881
Oh. So, that doctor...
Exactly.
1505
01:31:10,966 --> 01:31:13,843
Now, what happened
to your face?
1506
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,596
Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?
1507
01:31:16,680 --> 01:31:21,977
No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.
1508
01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:23,812
So, your father...
1509
01:31:25,814 --> 01:31:28,733
Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. What?
1510
01:31:28,817 --> 01:31:33,238
Oh,man. My thinking about this
case has become very uptight.
1511
01:31:33,321 --> 01:31:34,823
Yeah.
1512
01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:36,241
Your father.
1513
01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:40,245
Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?
1514
01:31:42,247 --> 01:31:43,248
Jeffrey!
1515
01:31:43,331 --> 01:31:46,126
Walter, if you're there, pick
up the fucking phone, man.
1516
01:31:46,209 --> 01:31:48,211
Come on, Walter.
1517
01:31:48,294 --> 01:31:51,506
Pick it up, man. This is an emergency.
Dude ? Dude
?
1518
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:55,552
Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place.
I need you to come pick me up.
1519
01:31:55,635 --> 01:31:58,013
I can't drive, Dude-
It's Erev shabbos. What?
1520
01:31:58,096 --> 01:31:59,514
Erev shabbos.
What?
1521
01:31:59,597 --> 01:32:02,767
Erev shabbos.
I can't drive.
Man!
1522
01:32:02,851 --> 01:32:05,478
I'm not even supposed to pick up the
phone unless it's an emergency.
1523
01:32:05,562 --> 01:32:08,940
This is a fucking emergency!
I understand.
1524
01:32:09,024 --> 01:32:10,608
That's why I picked up
the phone.
1525
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:13,987
Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.
1526
01:32:14,070 --> 01:32:16,322
Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.
1527
01:32:31,963 --> 01:32:34,424
Get out of that
fucking car, man!
1528
01:32:35,717 --> 01:32:37,761
Get out of that fucking car!
1529
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:40,138
Get the fuck
out of the car, man.
1530
01:32:42,140 --> 01:32:44,142
Get out of the fucking...
1531
01:32:44,726 --> 01:32:46,561
Who the fuck are you, man?
Easy, man!
1532
01:32:46,644 --> 01:32:48,021
Relax, man.
1533
01:32:49,105 --> 01:32:50,774
No physical harm intended.
1534
01:32:50,857 --> 01:32:53,568
Who the fuck are you? Why
you following me around?
1535
01:32:53,693 --> 01:32:56,863
Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man.
I'm a brother shamus.
1536
01:32:57,864 --> 01:32:59,407
Miner
1537
01:33:01,159 --> 01:33:02,827
Like an Irish monk?
1538
01:33:02,911 --> 01:33:04,788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1539
01:33:04,871 --> 01:33:08,833
My name is Da Fino. I'm a
private snoop, like you, man.
1540
01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:12,170
What?
A dick, man.
1541
01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,381
And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.
1542
01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:18,426
Playing one side against the
other, in bed with everybody.
1543
01:33:18,510 --> 01:33:20,887
Fabulous stuff, man.
I'm not...
1544
01:33:20,970 --> 01:33:23,890
Fuck it, man. Just stay away
from my fucking lady friend.
1545
01:33:23,973 --> 01:33:26,518
Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.
1546
01:33:26,601 --> 01:33:29,104
She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.
1547
01:33:29,229 --> 01:33:31,981
I'm just helping her conceive, man!
Hey, man. I'm not...
1548
01:33:32,065 --> 01:33:34,526
Who are you working for?
Lebowski?
1549
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:36,027
Jackie Treehorn?
1550
01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:39,364
The Kneutsons.
1551
01:33:40,740 --> 01:33:43,368
Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?
1552
01:33:43,451 --> 01:33:47,038
The Kneutsons, it's a
wandering daughter job.
1553
01:33:48,414 --> 01:33:50,959
Bunny Lebowski, man.
1554
01:33:51,042 --> 01:33:53,837
Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.
1555
01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:55,880
Her parents
want her back, see?
1556
01:33:57,048 --> 01:33:59,008
Jesus fucking Christ.
1557
01:33:59,092 --> 01:34:02,011
Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.
1558
01:34:02,095 --> 01:34:05,807
The Kneutsons told me I should
show her this when I found her.
1559
01:34:05,890 --> 01:34:09,435
It's the family farm. It's
outside Moorhead, Minnesota.
1560
01:34:09,561 --> 01:34:12,647
They think it'll make her homesick.
Oh, boy.
1561
01:34:12,730 --> 01:34:14,357
How are you gonna keep them
down on the farm
1562
01:34:14,440 --> 01:34:16,401
once they've seen
Karl Hungus?
1563
01:34:17,026 --> 01:34:19,529
She's been kidnapped, DaFWm.
Oh,man.
1564
01:34:19,612 --> 01:34:20,822
Or I don't know.
Maybe not.
1565
01:34:20,905 --> 01:34:22,490
But she's definitely
not around.
1566
01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:26,494
Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,
1567
01:34:26,911 --> 01:34:28,746
trade information.
1568
01:34:28,872 --> 01:34:30,665
Professional courtesy?
1569
01:34:31,249 --> 01:34:32,333
Compeers.
You know what I mean?
1570
01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:34,961
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.
1571
01:34:35,044 --> 01:34:37,172
And stay away
from my special...
1572
01:34:37,255 --> 01:34:40,175
From my fucking
lady friend, man!
1573
01:34:42,760 --> 01:34:44,679
The lingonberry pancake.
1574
01:34:49,184 --> 01:34:51,311
Lingonberry pancakes.
1575
01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:56,774
Three pigs in blanket.
1576
01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:04,657
She has
lingonberry pancakes.
1577
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:16,711
I mean, we totally fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.
1578
01:35:16,794 --> 01:35:19,005
We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.
1579
01:35:19,088 --> 01:35:21,341
And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,
1580
01:35:21,424 --> 01:35:23,551
but he didn't do
anything, huh?
1581
01:35:23,676 --> 01:35:25,887
Well, sometimes it's a cathartic...
No, no.
1582
01:35:25,970 --> 01:35:28,264
I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,
1583
01:35:28,348 --> 01:35:30,725
why does he leave me in charge
of getting his wife back?
1584
01:35:30,808 --> 01:35:34,145
Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.
1585
01:35:34,229 --> 01:35:37,398
He's had enough. He no longer digs her.
It's all a show.
1586
01:35:37,482 --> 01:35:41,903
Okay, but then why doesn't he give
a shit about his million bucks?
1587
01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:44,656
I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,
1588
01:35:44,822 --> 01:35:46,824
but he
never asked for it back.
1589
01:35:46,908 --> 01:35:49,994
The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.
1590
01:35:50,662 --> 01:35:53,706
The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.
1591
01:35:53,790 --> 01:35:56,459
The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.
1592
01:35:56,542 --> 01:35:59,087
You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.
1593
01:35:59,170 --> 01:36:02,924
Okay, but how does all this
add up to an emergency?
1594
01:36:03,007 --> 01:36:07,220
I'm saying, I see what you're getting
at, Dude. He kept the money.
1595
01:36:07,303 --> 01:36:09,138
My point is...
1596
01:36:09,222 --> 01:36:12,433
Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,
1597
01:36:12,517 --> 01:36:16,562
which I'm allowed to break only if
it's a matter of life or death.
1598
01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:19,983
VVill you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
1599
01:36:20,066 --> 01:36:21,734
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1600
01:36:21,818 --> 01:36:23,194
Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!
1601
01:36:23,278 --> 01:36:24,904
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1602
01:36:24,988 --> 01:36:27,115
I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.
1603
01:36:27,198 --> 01:36:29,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know this.
1604
01:36:29,284 --> 01:36:31,536
And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.
1605
01:36:31,619 --> 01:36:33,121
So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,
1606
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,331
you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?
1607
01:36:35,415 --> 01:36:38,501
You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.
1608
01:36:38,584 --> 01:36:40,628
Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Man.
1609
01:36:40,712 --> 01:36:44,966
You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.
1610
01:36:45,049 --> 01:36:48,970
Man, taking care of her fucking dog,
going to her fucking synagogue.
1611
01:36:49,053 --> 01:36:50,888
You're living in
the fucking past.
1612
01:36:50,972 --> 01:36:54,309
Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.
1613
01:36:54,392 --> 01:36:57,353
You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!
1614
01:36:57,437 --> 01:36:59,564
I've... Jesus.
1615
01:37:00,815 --> 01:37:02,734
What the hell happened?
1616
01:37:03,651 --> 01:37:06,487
So viva Las Vegas
1617
01:37:07,905 --> 01:37:10,825
Viva Las Vegas
1618
01:37:15,747 --> 01:37:17,749
Let's go. Fuck it.
1619
01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:23,504
Where was she, man?
1620
01:37:23,588 --> 01:37:25,590
Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.
1621
01:37:25,673 --> 01:37:28,092
She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.
1622
01:37:28,176 --> 01:37:30,678
Well,I guess the fucking
nihilists knew where she was.
1623
01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:32,930
Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.
1624
01:37:33,056 --> 01:37:36,392
Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am I?
I'm a fucking veteran.
1625
01:37:36,476 --> 01:37:37,685
Come on!
That's who I am.
1626
01:37:37,769 --> 01:37:40,313
You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.
1627
01:37:42,648 --> 01:37:44,025
So, man.
1628
01:37:44,108 --> 01:37:47,904
So? She's back,
no thanks to you.
1629
01:37:47,987 --> 01:37:50,365
Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?
1630
01:37:50,448 --> 01:37:53,785
A million bucks from fucking,
needy, little Urban Achievers!
1631
01:37:53,868 --> 01:37:55,370
You are scum, man!
1632
01:37:55,453 --> 01:37:57,705
Who the hell is he?
Who am I? Who am I?
1633
01:37:57,789 --> 01:37:59,374
Walter. I'm the guy that's
gonna kick your phony,
1634
01:37:59,457 --> 01:38:00,792
gold-bricking ass, that's who I am.
Man.
1635
01:38:00,875 --> 01:38:02,710
We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.
1636
01:38:02,794 --> 01:38:04,837
We know you kept the million
bucks for yourself.
1637
01:38:04,921 --> 01:38:06,506
You have your story,
I have mine.
1638
01:38:06,589 --> 01:38:09,884
I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.
1639
01:38:09,967 --> 01:38:13,179
As if we would ever dream of
taking your bullshit money!
1640
01:38:13,262 --> 01:38:15,473
You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,
1641
01:38:15,556 --> 01:38:17,141
and you were
fucking glad, man.
1642
01:38:17,225 --> 01:38:19,477
You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.
1643
01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:22,855
All you needed was a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.
1644
01:38:22,939 --> 01:38:25,858
You... You human paraquat.
1645
01:38:25,942 --> 01:38:29,404
You figured, "Oh, here's a
loser, you know, a deadbeat.
1646
01:38:29,487 --> 01:38:32,073
"Somebody this square community
won't give a shit about."
1647
01:38:32,156 --> 01:38:33,741
Well, aren't you?
1648
01:38:34,992 --> 01:38:38,746
Well, yeah, but...
Get out, both of you.
1649
01:38:38,830 --> 01:38:42,083
Look at that fucking phony, Dude,
pretending to be a fucking millionaire.
1650
01:38:42,166 --> 01:38:44,460
Out of this house now,
you bums!
1651
01:38:44,544 --> 01:38:46,129
Let me tell you
something else.
1652
01:38:46,212 --> 01:38:49,966
I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.
1653
01:38:50,675 --> 01:38:53,845
A fucking gold-bricker.
Stay away from me, mister!
1654
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:55,596
This guy fucking walks.
1655
01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:58,015
I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
1656
01:38:58,099 --> 01:38:59,267
You stay away from me!
1657
01:38:59,350 --> 01:39:01,769
Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.
1658
01:39:01,853 --> 01:39:03,563
I said! Get away from me!
Come on. Come on.
1659
01:39:03,729 --> 01:39:07,191
Walter, put him down, man!
1660
01:39:07,275 --> 01:39:10,945
Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!
1661
01:39:28,212 --> 01:39:31,340
Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.
1662
01:39:35,261 --> 01:39:37,263
At least they had the
fucking decency to tell us
1663
01:39:37,346 --> 01:39:39,724
that we were fighting
the communists.
1664
01:39:42,226 --> 01:39:45,646
Whereas this whole fucking
thing, this whole fucking thing
1665
01:39:45,730 --> 01:39:48,566
is nothing about nothing,
about oil,
1666
01:39:48,649 --> 01:39:50,985
which is what I personally
hear, Dude.
1667
01:39:51,068 --> 01:39:53,362
Sure you'll see
some tank battles,
1668
01:39:53,446 --> 01:39:56,991
but fighting in desert is very different
from fighting in canopyjungle.
1669
01:39:58,075 --> 01:40:01,496
I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's
war, whereas this thing should...
1670
01:40:02,455 --> 01:40:04,707
You know, should be
a piece of cake.
1671
01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:08,211
I mean, I had an M16, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.
1672
01:40:08,336 --> 01:40:11,714
Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah.
1673
01:40:11,797 --> 01:40:14,133
That's fucking combat.
1674
01:40:14,217 --> 01:40:17,094
The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.
1675
01:40:17,178 --> 01:40:19,055
Worthy fucking adversary.
1676
01:40:19,138 --> 01:40:22,558
Who's in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
1677
01:40:22,642 --> 01:40:24,852
Whereas what we have here,
1678
01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:27,104
a bunch of fig eaters wearing
towels on their head,
1679
01:40:27,188 --> 01:40:29,357
trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.
1680
01:40:30,233 --> 01:40:32,401
- This is not a worthy fucking adversary.
- Hey!
1681
01:40:32,485 --> 01:40:34,529
What's this
day-of-rest shit?
1682
01:40:34,612 --> 01:40:36,197
What's this bullshit?
1683
01:40:36,280 --> 01:40:39,325
I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.
1684
01:40:39,408 --> 01:40:40,868
But you not fooling me,
man.
1685
01:40:40,952 --> 01:40:43,663
You might fool the fucks
in the league office
1686
01:40:43,746 --> 01:40:46,040
but you don't fool Jesus.
1687
01:40:46,207 --> 01:40:48,918
It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.
1688
01:40:49,001 --> 01:40:50,419
Laughable, man!
1689
01:40:51,587 --> 01:40:54,674
I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.
1690
01:40:55,424 --> 01:40:58,344
I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.
1691
01:40:59,804 --> 01:41:02,265
You got a date
VVednesday,baby!
1692
01:41:07,144 --> 01:41:08,312
He's cracking.
1693
01:41:08,396 --> 01:41:10,106
...the whole concept of age.
1694
01:41:10,189 --> 01:41:12,400
I mean, many learned men
have disputed this
1695
01:41:12,483 --> 01:41:15,319
but in the 14th century,
the Rambam...
1696
01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:27,540
Well, they finally
did it.
1697
01:41:27,623 --> 01:41:29,750
They killed
my fucking car.
1698
01:41:29,834 --> 01:41:33,421
We want the money,
Lebowski.
1699
01:41:33,504 --> 01:41:36,007
Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.
1700
01:41:36,090 --> 01:41:39,594
Ja- It seems you have forgotten
our little deal, Lebowski.
1701
01:41:39,677 --> 01:41:42,430
You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.
1702
01:41:42,513 --> 01:41:44,765
We know you never did.
1703
01:41:44,849 --> 01:41:46,434
Are these the Nazis,
Walter?
1704
01:41:46,517 --> 01:41:48,227
No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.
1705
01:41:48,311 --> 01:41:49,729
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
1706
01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:52,481
We don't care.
1707
01:41:52,565 --> 01:41:57,028
We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.
1708
01:41:57,111 --> 01:41:59,780
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Cool it, Walter.
1709
01:41:59,864 --> 01:42:03,701
No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.
1710
01:42:03,784 --> 01:42:07,121
That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.
1711
01:42:07,204 --> 01:42:09,540
His girlfriend
gave up her toe.
1712
01:42:09,624 --> 01:42:11,959
She thought we could
get $1 million.
1713
01:42:12,043 --> 01:42:14,545
It's not fair.
Fair?
1714
01:42:14,629 --> 01:42:18,257
V\Iho's the fucking nihilists around
here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?
1715
01:42:18,341 --> 01:42:20,718
Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.
1716
01:42:20,801 --> 01:42:22,511
There never
was any money.
1717
01:42:22,595 --> 01:42:24,722
The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,
1718
01:42:24,805 --> 01:42:26,849
so take it up with him, man.
1719
01:42:26,932 --> 01:42:29,477
And I would like
my undies back.
1720
01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:30,770
Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?
1721
01:42:30,853 --> 01:42:33,314
No, Donny.
These men are cowards.
1722
01:42:33,397 --> 01:42:34,690
Okay!
1723
01:42:34,774 --> 01:42:38,319
So we takes the money you have
on you, and we calls it even.
1724
01:42:39,737 --> 01:42:41,781
Fuck you.
Hey, no. Come on, Walter.
1725
01:42:41,864 --> 01:42:43,866
Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.
1726
01:42:43,949 --> 01:42:46,535
No. What's mine is mine.
No, come on, Walter.
1727
01:42:46,619 --> 01:42:48,829
No funny stuff.
All right. All right.
1728
01:42:48,913 --> 01:42:53,668
No funny stuff.
I got 4 bucks, almost 5.
1729
01:42:53,751 --> 01:42:56,337
- Igot$18.
- What's mine is mine.
1730
01:42:56,420 --> 01:42:59,548
We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!
1731
01:43:00,091 --> 01:43:01,425
Come and get it.
1732
01:43:02,760 --> 01:43:07,014
We fuck you up! Show me
what you got, nihilists.
1733
01:43:07,098 --> 01:43:09,558
I fuck you! Walter, come on.
He's got a sword.
1734
01:43:09,642 --> 01:43:11,852
Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!
1735
01:43:11,936 --> 01:43:15,773
I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!
1736
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,614
Take it easy, man.
I fuck you!
1737
01:43:23,698 --> 01:43:25,616
Take the $4.
I fuck you!
1738
01:43:29,954 --> 01:43:30,996
I fuck you!
1739
01:43:31,080 --> 01:43:32,957
I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.
1740
01:43:37,712 --> 01:43:39,839
Hey, dickhead!
Anti-Semite.
1741
01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:43,509
I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!
1742
01:43:43,592 --> 01:43:46,721
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1743
01:43:46,804 --> 01:43:48,806
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1744
01:43:55,062 --> 01:43:57,022
We got a man down, Dude!
1745
01:44:00,735 --> 01:44:01,944
Oh, God. They shot him, man.
1746
01:44:02,027 --> 01:44:04,238
He's not shot. No, Dude.
Are you shot, Donny?
1747
01:44:04,363 --> 01:44:06,657
There weren't any shots fired.
Huh?
1748
01:44:06,741 --> 01:44:09,994
It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.
1749
01:44:10,536 --> 01:44:13,372
I'd go myself, but I'm pumping
blood, might pass out.
1750
01:44:13,456 --> 01:44:16,751
Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.
1751
01:44:16,834 --> 01:44:19,253
We got help choppering in.
1752
01:44:46,781 --> 01:44:48,449
Hello, gentlemen.
1753
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:50,785
You are the bereaved?
Yeah, man.
1754
01:44:51,452 --> 01:44:54,121
Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.
1755
01:44:54,205 --> 01:44:56,499
Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak.
1756
01:44:56,582 --> 01:44:58,834
The Dude actually is...
1757
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:01,796
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing.
1758
01:45:03,631 --> 01:45:08,302
Yes. I understand you're
taking away the remains?
1759
01:45:08,385 --> 01:45:09,553
Yeah.
1760
01:45:10,304 --> 01:45:12,097
We have the urn.
1761
01:45:13,474 --> 01:45:15,684
I assume this is credit card?
1762
01:45:16,894 --> 01:45:17,978
Yeah.
1763
01:45:32,660 --> 01:45:34,078
What's this?
1764
01:45:34,829 --> 01:45:36,497
Now, that's for the urn.
1765
01:45:36,580 --> 01:45:38,582
Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.
1766
01:45:39,375 --> 01:45:42,002
Yes. So we were informed.
1767
01:45:42,086 --> 01:45:45,840
However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to you
1768
01:45:45,923 --> 01:45:47,508
in a receptacle.
1769
01:45:48,759 --> 01:45:50,553
That's $180.
1770
01:45:50,886 --> 01:45:54,807
It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1771
01:45:55,140 --> 01:45:57,309
Well, can't we just...
$180?
1772
01:45:57,393 --> 01:45:59,395
They range up to $3,000.
1773
01:46:00,187 --> 01:46:03,315
We're... Can't we just rent
it from you, you know?
1774
01:46:03,399 --> 01:46:06,193
Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.
1775
01:46:06,318 --> 01:46:08,654
V\Ie're scattering the fucking ashes!
Walter, Walter.
1776
01:46:08,737 --> 01:46:11,240
Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.
1777
01:46:11,323 --> 01:46:13,701
Sir, please lower
your voices.
1778
01:46:13,784 --> 01:46:17,872
Man, don't you have, you know,
something else we can put him in?
1779
01:46:17,955 --> 01:46:18,998
You know?
1780
01:46:19,081 --> 01:46:22,126
That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1781
01:46:22,418 --> 01:46:24,003
God damn it!
1782
01:46:26,130 --> 01:46:27,798
Is there a Ralph's
around here?
1783
01:46:54,825 --> 01:46:57,494
Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.
1784
01:46:58,746 --> 01:47:00,873
He was one of us.
1785
01:47:00,956 --> 01:47:04,877
He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.
1786
01:47:05,002 --> 01:47:08,756
And as a surfer he explored the
beaches of Southern California
1787
01:47:08,839 --> 01:47:11,634
from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo
1788
01:47:11,717 --> 01:47:14,303
and up to Pismo.
1789
01:47:15,095 --> 01:47:16,347
He died...
1790
01:47:17,348 --> 01:47:21,435
He died as so many young men of
his generation, before his time.
1791
01:47:21,518 --> 01:47:24,688
In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,
1792
01:47:24,813 --> 01:47:28,108
as you took so many bright,
flowering young men
1793
01:47:28,192 --> 01:47:31,028
at Khe Sanh, at Ian Doc,
1794
01:47:31,111 --> 01:47:32,863
at Hill 364.
1795
01:47:34,156 --> 01:47:36,533
These young men
gave their lives,
1796
01:47:37,117 --> 01:47:38,577
and so did Donny.
1797
01:47:40,704 --> 01:47:42,706
Donny, who loved bowling.
1798
01:47:45,751 --> 01:47:46,752
And so,
1799
01:47:48,379 --> 01:47:50,756
Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,
1800
01:47:52,049 --> 01:47:57,179
in accordance with what we think your
dying wishes might well have been,
1801
01:47:58,514 --> 01:48:01,308
we commit your final
mortal remains
1802
01:48:02,226 --> 01:48:04,603
to the bosom of
the Pacific Ocean
1803
01:48:06,063 --> 01:48:08,065
which you loved so well.
1804
01:48:10,401 --> 01:48:12,486
Good night, sweet prince.
1805
01:48:27,626 --> 01:48:29,044
Shit.
1806
01:48:30,963 --> 01:48:33,007
Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1807
01:48:34,800 --> 01:48:37,928
Goddamn wind.
Fuck, god damn it, Walter!
1808
01:48:38,012 --> 01:48:40,305
You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1809
01:48:40,389 --> 01:48:42,599
Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!
1810
01:48:42,683 --> 01:48:44,268
I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
1811
01:48:44,351 --> 01:48:46,854
What was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I'm sorry.
1812
01:48:46,937 --> 01:48:49,231
What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?
1813
01:48:49,314 --> 01:48:51,316
Dude, I'm sorry. What the
fuck are you talking about?
1814
01:48:51,400 --> 01:48:52,985
Dude, I'm sorry.
1815
01:48:55,904 --> 01:48:57,114
Fucking...
1816
01:49:04,121 --> 01:49:05,581
Fuck, Walter.
1817
01:49:07,458 --> 01:49:08,959
Come on, Dude.
1818
01:49:09,793 --> 01:49:11,462
Hey, fuck it, man.
1819
01:49:15,382 --> 01:49:17,009
Let's go bowling.
1820
01:49:40,491 --> 01:49:43,827
And when you're sittin' there
1821
01:49:44,453 --> 01:49:47,581
In your silk upholstered chair
1822
01:49:49,083 --> 01:49:53,128
Talkin' to some rich folks
that you know
1823
01:49:56,465 --> 01:49:59,301
Well, I hope you don't see me
1824
01:50:00,302 --> 01:50:03,514
In my ragged company
1825
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:09,353
Oh, but you know
I could never be alone
1826
01:50:11,522 --> 01:50:14,525
Two oat sodas, Gary.
Right. Good luck tomorrow.
1827
01:50:14,608 --> 01:50:18,070
Yeah, thanks, man. I was
sorry to hear about Donny.
1828
01:50:18,153 --> 01:50:21,031
Oh, yeah. Well, you know,
1829
01:50:21,865 --> 01:50:25,828
sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know...
1830
01:50:25,911 --> 01:50:27,204
Hey, man.
1831
01:50:27,996 --> 01:50:31,166
How do you do, Dude? I
wondered if I'd see you again.
1832
01:50:31,250 --> 01:50:33,293
I wouldn't miss
the semis.
1833
01:50:33,377 --> 01:50:35,003
Oh, yeah?
How's things been going?
1834
01:50:35,087 --> 01:50:38,215
Well, you know, strikes and
gutters, ups and downs.
1835
01:50:38,298 --> 01:50:41,009
Sure. I got you.
Yeah.
1836
01:50:42,553 --> 01:50:43,595
Thanks, Gary.
1837
01:50:43,679 --> 01:50:46,014
Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.
1838
01:50:46,098 --> 01:50:49,143
Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.
1839
01:50:49,226 --> 01:50:51,311
I know that you will.
1840
01:50:51,395 --> 01:50:54,731
Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.
1841
01:50:58,735 --> 01:50:59,945
Walter.
1842
01:51:01,655 --> 01:51:03,615
The Dude abides.
1843
01:51:07,536 --> 01:51:10,873
I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.
1844
01:51:12,166 --> 01:51:14,376
It's good knowing
he's out there,
1845
01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:18,547
the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.
1846
01:51:21,258 --> 01:51:23,427
I sure hope
he makes the finals.
1847
01:51:25,053 --> 01:51:27,181
Well, that about does her.
1848
01:51:27,264 --> 01:51:28,765
Wraps her all up.
1849
01:51:30,350 --> 01:51:33,812
Things seem to have worked out
pretty good for the Dude and Walter.
1850
01:51:34,479 --> 01:51:37,774
And it was a pretty good
story, don't you think?
1851
01:51:38,609 --> 01:51:40,944
Made me laugh
to beat the band.
1852
01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:43,071
Parts anyway.
1853
01:51:44,615 --> 01:51:46,783
I didn't like seeing Donny go.
1854
01:51:47,910 --> 01:51:52,956
But then I happen to know that there's
a little Lebowski on the way.
1855
01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:57,961
I guess that's the way the whole
darned human comedy keeps
1856
01:51:58,503 --> 01:52:00,839
perpetuating itself
1857
01:52:00,923 --> 01:52:03,091
down through the generations.
1858
01:52:03,592 --> 01:52:07,846
Westward the wagons, across
the sands of time until we...
1859
01:52:09,056 --> 01:52:12,267
Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.
1860
01:52:13,644 --> 01:52:16,146
Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.
1861
01:52:16,647 --> 01:52:18,982
Catch you later on
down the trail.
1862
01:52:20,150 --> 01:52:23,278
Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?
1863
01:52:46,218 --> 01:52:50,222
Take me down, little Susie
1864
01:52:50,305 --> 01:52:52,140
Take me down
1865
01:52:55,435 --> 01:52:57,938
I know you think
you're the queen
1866
01:52:58,021 --> 01:53:00,148
Of the underground
1867
01:53:03,860 --> 01:53:08,824
Send me dead flowers
every morning
1868
01:53:12,202 --> 01:53:16,707
Send me dead flowers
by the mail
1869
01:53:20,502 --> 01:53:24,965
Send me dead flowers
to my wedding
1870
01:53:27,509 --> 01:53:34,474
And I won't forget to put
roses on your grave
1871
01:53:35,767 --> 01:53:40,105
No, I won't forget
to put roses
1872
01:53:40,188 --> 01:53:44,484
On your grave
1873
01:54:09,593 --> 01:54:14,139
Bright light city
gonna set my soul
1874
01:54:14,598 --> 01:54:18,310
Gonna set my soul on fire
1875
01:54:19,644 --> 01:54:24,775
Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn
1876
01:54:24,858 --> 01:54:28,487
So get those stakes up higher
1877
01:54:30,072 --> 01:54:34,826
There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out there
1878
01:54:35,577 --> 01:54:40,665
They're all livin'
devil may care
1879
01:54:40,749 --> 01:54:45,212
And I'm just a devil
with love to spare
1880
01:54:45,295 --> 01:54:49,549
So viva Las Vegas
1881
01:54:51,093 --> 01:54:55,138
Viva Las Vegas
1882
01:54:58,850 --> 01:55:03,522
Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashing
1883
01:55:03,605 --> 01:55:06,566
And your one-arm
bandits crashing
1884
01:55:06,650 --> 01:55:10,237
All those hopes down the drain
1885
01:55:11,822 --> 01:55:16,993
Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttime
1886
01:55:17,077 --> 01:55:19,579
Night into daytime
1887
01:55:19,663 --> 01:55:21,832
If you see it once
1888
01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:28,338
You'll never be the same again
1889
01:55:30,382 --> 01:55:34,845
I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'
1890
01:55:34,928 --> 01:55:38,682
If it costs me
my very last dime
1891
01:55:40,183 --> 01:55:42,519
If I wind up broke
1892
01:55:42,602 --> 01:55:44,813
Well, I'll always remember
1893
01:55:44,896 --> 01:55:48,942
That I had a swingin' time
1894
01:55:50,777 --> 01:55:54,865
I'm gonna give it
everything I've got
1895
01:55:55,991 --> 01:56:00,203
Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hot
1896
01:56:01,121 --> 01:56:05,625
Let me shoot a seven
on every shot
1897
01:56:05,709 --> 01:56:09,921
So viva Las Vegas
1898
01:56:11,465 --> 01:56:15,218
Viva Las Vegas
1899
01:56:16,595 --> 01:56:20,807
Viva Las Vegas
1900
01:56:21,683 --> 01:56:23,560
Viva
1901
01:56:24,561 --> 01:56:26,062
Viva
1902
01:56:27,022 --> 01:56:28,523
Viva
1903
01:56:29,608 --> 01:56:32,861
Viva
1904
01:56:34,112 --> 01:56:40,911
Las Vegas
1905
01:56:45,248 --> 01:56:48,585
Viva
140872