All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E27.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

("Furious" by Los Straitjackets playing)

REPORTER 1: Repeating what we know.

Ms. Reese has just been arraigned
on attempted murder charges.

Bail was set at $1,200,000.

-Denny Crane.
-Barry Goal.

REPORTER 2: Star of the popular
reality show The Phoenix

-entered a plea of not guilty.
-DENNY: Denny Crane.

Both sides agreeing
to an immediate trial date.

Why Ms. Reese was carrying the gun,
we don't know.

COURTNEY: I thought he was gonna kill me.

-Did you recognize him?
-Well, not then.

Now I know he's a photographer from one
of those celebrity stalker websites.

Fan-based websites.
They track certain stars.

Yeah, this one's called getcortney.com.

-Denny Crane.
-Barry Goal.

I'm sorry. You'll have to forgive Denny.

His eyes are bigger than his shame.
And frankly,

I don't know what to make of Barry.

So you said these websites
actually track celebrities.

COURTNEY: They hunt us down.

Anybody who spots me on the street

just text messages my location
into the website.

Some of them even get paid for a good tip.

Now anybody… Here.

Anybody can track my every move,
every minute of the day.

(keyboard clacking)

-Terrible.
-(groans)

(keyboard clacking)

Look at this.

Oh, there's our building.
And it says you're here.

And you're here.

One of your assistants probably
just made 100 bucks for this tip.

And the problem is, it's not just fans
who know where I am.

It's stalkers. Mentally ill people.

I mean, I've had guys show up straight
from the psych ward to my door,

saying I'm their ex-wife, and they're
gonna kill me for jilting them.

And you thought this man
was coming to kill you?

Yeah, I thought he…

Mr. Crane, I need you to stop
staring at me like that.

Of course. Marry me.

-I beg your pardon?
-Your 15 minutes are almost up.

Mine has lasted a lifetime. Tell her.

Marry him.

(comical percussive stinger playing)

(theme music playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

Lara and Joel Kohn to see Marlene Stanger,

10:30.

I think she stepped out of the building
for a few minutes.

Let me try her cell.

Are you here for Marlene Stanger?

She was recommended to us.

We made an appointment,
but she doesn't appear to be here.

That doesn't sound like Marlene.

I'm Denise Bauer.
I work very closely with Marlene

and I know that she is swamped.

Um, why don't you come in my office
and we can talk?

(sneaky stinger playing)

Both sides have apparently agreed
to fast-track this.

The only issue being did Ms. Reese
fear for her life, and if so,

was that fear reasonable?

Some speculation that Ms. Reese
was simply fed up with the paparazzi,

and this last encounter
was the final straw.

So far, we have no indication
of where Ms. Reese got the gun.

The good news, Courtney,
you're already beautiful,

so we don't have to "Marcia Clark" you.

The bad news is you're beautiful
and you shot a man.

The only person I can see getting away
with that is Princess Di,

who was herself killed by the paparazzi.

So by evoking her image, we get a twofer.

I suggest this
for your first day of trial.

A turtleneck in LA in the spring?
Are you trying to kill me?

We can mix and match,

but it's critical you feel comfortable
in your wardrobe.

The jury can sense comfort level.

-It's my own clothes or none at all.
-None.

-CANDY: Courtney… (groans)
-ALAN: Typically, we would want

the jury to relate to you.

Typically, no juror would have been

carrying a gun into a restaurant,

so perhaps the argument should be
they couldn't possibly relate to me.

DENNY: We'll get back to wardrobe.
Let's talk victim.

Our investigators are checking
into the photographer:

his friends, family, skeletons, the usual.

What is important is that, in the press,

he looks like someone who would attack
Courtney in an alley.

He did attack me in an alley.

Legals?

ALAN: In order to prove self-defense,

we need to show that
in these circumstances,

you reasonably felt your life was
in danger.

The only person who can convey
that is you, so you'll need to testify.

And I'll be right by your side.

-So will I.
-ALAN: Neither of them will be.

You'll be sitting up there all alone,

undoubtedly subject to unrelenting
cross-examination.

I'm a big girl.

DENNY: Excellent.

Now just for fun, try it this way,
"I'm a bad girl."

I just want to hear how it plays.

I'm a bad girl.

Very bad girl.

Denny.

(comical rock stinger playing)

I cannot believe you, of all people,

are here asking me for a favor.

-Well, it's not so much a favor as…
-Buzz Lightyear himself.

-Who calls me that?
-Not me.

I look at you and see a Woody.

-She has no prison record.
-A boy is dead.

Which is why we're willing to plead.
Three months is the right result.

Whatever our differences, this is…

Whoa, whoa. What… what differences?

Are you referring to the time
I interviewed with you

for a position at Crane, Poole & Schmidt,

all the while, you surf the net to get
cheap ski lift tickets at Whistler?

Do you think that that would
cause a rift between us? (chuckles)

As if I'd even remember.

I need your help.

This is my niece.
And you know this is the right result.

Please.

On your knees.

And "Pretty please."

What?

Down on your knees. Do it.

And, and button it with, um…

(suggestive music playing)

…"beautiful goddess."

You're not serious.

I'm very serious.

Pretty please.

Beautiful goddess.

(quirky stinger playing)

(slow music playing)

DENNY: LA smog. Not good.

Ah.

Denny…

I consider myself a delightfully
lascivious person

and I often appreciate
that quality in others,

but I need you to tone it down
a little with Courtney.

She's the sexiest woman on earth.

Unless, of course, you go for preggos,
in which case, it's Angelina.

This is a serious case, Denny.
She's up on attempted murder charges.

It's a character builder. She'll be fine.

I'm gonna marry her, Alan.

Courtney Reese?

She's got Denny Crane
written all over her.

And I'll tell you this,
when the time comes,

she'll pull my plug…

happily.

Not to burst your bubble,
as unburstable as it appears to be,

but I get the feeling Courtney's interests
lie elsewhere.

-(muffled) What do you mean?
-I'm picking up on signals.

(soft music playing)

Well, pick up on this…

stay away from my sixth wife.

Courtney Crane.

(sighs deeply)

I love it.

(comical stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

(slow music playing)

Fish. Who knew?

-I'm proud of you, kiddo.
-Thank you.

MARLENE: Everybody's smiling.

Happy news?

Denise just landed… Dare I say it?

A big whale.

Sitter Delacy Foods.

They distribute up and down
the east coast.

The Kohn family, right?

Right.

Huh.

(reporters clamoring)

REPORTER:
The prosecution of Courtney Reese

for attempted murder begins today.

Unbelievable.

Wherever they go, they get the good stuff.

Unbelievable.

This isn't fair.

…a significant change in the works.

DAN: So I, I figured
she might come out the side alley.

She often does.
So I kind of staked out a position.

A.D.A. JOE: And at some point,
the defendant did come out?

-DAN: Yes.
-And what did you do?

I approached to take a picture.

-Did you say anything?
-DAN: No.

Did she say anything?

DAN: Yeah, I think she yelled, "Back off."

A.D.A. JOE: And then what happened?

DAN: I went to take a picture, and, uh…

she shot me.

Did she warn you?
Did she indicate that she had a gun?

(scoffs) No! No, she just opened fire.

It sounds like a terrifying encounter.

-Were you frightened, Mr. Rice?
-Of course I was.

ALAN: I can imagine.

By the way, can you imagine that Ms. Reese

might have been terrified
when you charged at her in the alley?

I think Ms. Reese is familiar with
photographers trying to get her picture.

ALAN: You jumped out
from behind a dumpster, did you not?

DAN: Yes.

-ALAN: Was the alleyway lit?
-DAN: It was not lit.

ALAN: Mr. Rice, you're
a freelance photographer, are you not?

You submit your work to many different
magazines and newspapers?

-DAN: Yeah.
-ALAN: And all these publications

prefer candid shots.

A scared expression is worth more than,

say, a picture where a celebrity
is smiling or posing.

Which is why you leapt out
from behind the dumpster, to startle her?

DAN: Yeah, I was trying
to get a candid shot of her, yes.

But, again, they're used to that.

By "they", I imagine you mean
celebrities and other people who,

at your discretion alone…

-(Denny gasps)
-…have forfeited their right to privacy.

No, they signed up for it
when they chose to be famous.

Did they sign up for having their car
run off the road?

Because you've done that with
other celebrities, haven't you?

Objection.
The victim is not on trial here.

The victim is very much on trial.

-He has three assault arrests…
-Objection.

-He's broken into houses…
-Objection.

-Spit at celebrities to provoke…
-A.D.A. JOE: Objection!

The objections are sustained.

This man's prior actions are not relevant.

But my client's state of mind is,
and many of the paparazzi,

Mr. Rice included, are criminals,
some very dangerous.

Apparently, Filipino street gangs
have even got into the act. Why?

-Objection.
-Because ultimately,

-this is about vast amounts of money.
-Objection.

Sustained!

(tense music playing)

I fired you!

And I was as expressly clear about that…

-As you are insane?
-My daughter!

-Who contributed to the death…
-No!

-Yes.
-How dare you go behind my back?

-It's Hannah's call, not yours.
-She's 16 years old.

Exactly. she's got her whole life
ahead of her.

Now three months is a good deal.

She can serve it over the summer
and be back in time for school.

-As a convicted murderer?
-Manslaughter.

Oh, my God.

BRAD: This is not about
safeguarding her college transcript.

This is the best deal
that we can ever hope for.

Now I got the DA to go along with it,
so for once in your life,

just once, trust me.

Oh, is that what this is all about?

Getting me to finally trust you?
Proving yourself to your big sister?

At the risk of jeopardizing
our relationship any further,

-you got a friggin' problem.
-Oh.

For the past 16 years,
your self-esteem has been inextricably

bound up with this idea of having
a perfect daughter.

Well, she's not perfect.

Her resume, college transcript,

and, yes, even her record,
they're all gonna be blemished.

But this does not have
to destroy her life.

If she takes this to trial, she could go
to jail for a year, maybe two.

(pensive music playing)

And you can't just wave your magic wand
to make this go away.

(upbeat music playing)

I know I'm new here,
and I really don't want to make waves.

What is the problem?

This.

Mario inadvertently found it in the trash.

-Mario?
-(seethes) Our night janitor.

Really lovely gentleman. Helpful.

I was so grateful when he found it
because I thought I'd misplaced it,

but when I saw this…

I was taking videos of my coworkers
to send to my family.

I left it in the kitchen.

I guess I accidentally left it on video
recording mode, and well…

(sobs) …this happened!

Oh, my. (groans)

Maybe Denise thought
she was playing a practical joke,

but I just don't think
it's all that funny.

I mean, is that how the lawyers
treat each other here?

Certainly not.

I didn't think so,
but somebody should tell Denise,

because she is full of little pranks.

Other pranks?

Again, I'm really so uncomfortable
with this.

But I went out to greet my clients,
the Kohns, in the lobby the other day.

Referrals from my old firm.

I was late, I admit, as they were
scheduled in my personal calendar,

but since it was in the trash…

Anyway, I went out to get them,
and they were gone.

It turns out Denise took them.

Denise?

(quirky stinger playing)

You understand, Ms. Guttman,

that be pleading guilty
to involuntary manslaughter,

you stand convicted of a felony?

Yes, sir.

Very well.

Ms. Raines, the District Attorney's office

joins the recommendation of the defense

for three months at Guttenburg?

We do, Your Honor.

This is a very serious matter
involving the loss of a human life,

but we are impressed
by the defendant's remorse.

We're also mindful that she has
no previous criminal record

and we're satisfied that three months
constitutes a just punishment.

Well… you might be satisfied,

but I'm not.

See, I have to be cognizant
not only of the death of Ryan Klein,

but also of the pandemic
of pharming drug parties

going on in every town
all over this country,

causing the loss of many lives.

Three months is an insult to those lives.

-BRAD: Your Honor, this…
-JUDGE SIMON: I'm talking, counsel.

The court rejects this
and will not entertain any plea

which causes Ms. Guttman
to serve less than three years.

-What?
-Brad.

I ask that Your Honor be recused.

Denied. Now you want to go to trial, fine.

But you've got me,

which means that I can
impose sentence now…

or later.

(foreboding music playing)

(sobbing)

I've received 17 death threats,
the latest coming two weeks ago.

I also get thousands of letters
from prison inmates,

pledging their love and planning
to seek me out upon release.

And I get many inappropriate,

prurient letters
from people on the outside as well.

Sometimes doctors, lawyers.

I've received three in the last day
from one of my own lawyers.

You're clearly the object
of a lot of adoration and obsession.

Which comes with celebrity and fame,
I realize, but this kind of fame…

And… and add to that the internet.

What does the internet
have to do with this?

(scoffs)
With these celebrity stalker sites,

everybody can become
a member of the paparazzi.

I mean, they've all got cameras
and e-mail access with their cell phones.

It's become simple to track
my whereabouts.

Obsessive people know how to find me,

which is why I got a permit
and now carry a gun.

Which you were carrying with you
the other night.

Yes.

As I left the restaurant, a man charged me
in a dark alleyway.

I called for him to stop. He didn't.

I saw black metal in his hand.
He raised it.

I thought he was carrying a gun.
I reacted and shot first.

A lot of people track you, follow you,
want to see you in person.

-That's the impression I'm getting, true?
-Yes.

Most of these people, I'm guessing,
would be innocent fans…

just wanting to get close to you.
Also true?

-Or aggressive photographers.
-Yes.

In fact, the other night
when you arrived at the restaurant,

you were met by a slew of paparazzi,
weren't you?

Yes.

A.D.A. JOE: Also, in fact,
you had an altercation on your way

into the restaurant that night,
didn't you?

Yes, I did.

-You'd had enough, hadn't you?
-Objection.

-A.D.A. JOE: This wasn't self-defense.
-Your Honor.

-You were pissed off.
-I made an objection.

-Sustained.
-A.D.A. JOE: In particular,

-you had a vendetta against this man.
-ALAN: Objection!

He just sustained the objection.

Ms. Reese, you've encountered Mr. Rice
before, haven't you?

I didn't recognize him at the time
that I shot him.

You didn't see him going
into the restaurant?

I did, but I didn't know it was him
charging me in the alley.

You once got a restraining order
against this man.

I didn't know it was him when I fired.

A.D.A. JOE: I see.

-You just got lucky?
-Objection.

Sustained.

Nothing further.

(suspenseful music playing)

Courtney, you should've told me
that you knew him.

I don't really know him.

There's a handful of paparazzi
who resort to terrorist tactics.

And you knew him to be one of them.

I didn't recognize him in the alley.

But you did recognize him
on your way into the restaurant.

So you knew he was there.
You'd had previous run-ins with him.

This could be construed
that you targeted him.

-I didn't.
-I believe you.

Marry me.

-Does he have a mental problem?
-Yes.

Are there any more surprises?

-Such as?
-Like are you really a man?

-I could live with that.
-Denny, go lust someplace else!

How many run-ins have you had
with this particular photographer?

Several, along with half a dozen
other photographers,

but I didn't know it was him when I fired.

Right.

I sincerely hope the jury believes that.

Otherwise, famous or not,
you're going to prison.

(pensive stringer playing)

There's nothing I can do. It's his call.
You know that.

-Why did he do this?
-I don't know.

-Did you tell him to?
-Of course not.

Is this about my Whistler trip?

Brad…

Well, what happened?

I called one of his former clerks.

Evidently, Judge Devon lost
a teenage daughter to a drug overdose.

-Maybe that's in play. I don't know.
-Great.

But he's a good judge. He's a fair one.
This seems way out of character.

Also, for what it's worth,

the clerk gave me
some additional backstory.

He had a little thing years ago
with one of your partners.

Who?

Shirley Schmidt.

(dramatic stinger playing)

PAUL: Marlene says

that you conveniently threw away
her electronic planner

the night before some of
her more critical appointments,

including the one with the Kohns.

First of all, I didn't poach her clients.
I did her a favor.

And second of all, I didn't toss
her precious little device

so she'd miss her appointment.

I did it out of spite. Simple as that.

I have to say, Denise, that personally,
I am very disappointed.

Paul, you know me.

Why else would I be disappointed?

With the partnership vote this close,

it amazes me that you would do something
so stupid to jeopardize it.

-Are you saying that…
-What I'm saying

is that as of this moment,
your chances of making partner…

have diminished.

It's within the sentencing guidelines.

It's not as if you can argue
abuse of discretion.

BRAD: But judges always allow
joint recommendations.

SHIRLEY: But they're not bound by them,
Brad. You know that.

She's 16 years old.

Your only hope is to somehow
get him recused, but…

honestly, I wouldn't know how.

I've been told that…

you had a relationship with this judge.

(smacks lips) Ah.

Shirley, I would never try
to exploit this…

Sure you would. That's why you're here.

I don't know what else to do.

I won't get it overturned on appeal.
I don't know what else to do.

(suspenseful stinger playing)

She knew the paparazzi were there.

She had an altercation on the way in.

She had to know it was possible that
the man in the alley was a photographer.

They ambush her all the time.
What the hell?

She opened fire anyway.
Figure in the darkness, boom!

Shoot first, ask questions later, I guess.

The truth is, celebrities
like Courtney Reese

get away with things all the time.

Tickets to the Rolling Stones concert,

a table at a crowded restaurant
with no reservation.

This is her life, all day, every day.
She gets away with things.

And so when a photographer tries
to take her picture

and she doesn't like it,

and she happens to have a particular
grudge against this man,

she thinks she can get away
with shooting him.

Because fame is power. It is privilege.
It is a sense of entitlement.

Now, I'm sure none of you want to live
in a world where there's one set of laws

for the famous people,
and another set for the rest of us.

The facts in this case do not say

that Courtney Reese is an actress
or a model or a world-famous celebrity.

The facts in this case say…

that she's a criminal
who tried to murder somebody.

A neurobiologist at Duke University
conducted an experiment

where he gave a group of thirsty monkeys

a choice of either
having their favorite drink,

which was some sort of
cherry juice concoction,

or of having the opportunity

to look at pictures of the dominant
celebrity monkey of their pack.

Despite their thirst
and the allure of the cherry juice,

they chose to look at the pictures.

Apparently,
monkeys have a part of their brain

that specifically responds to the thrill
of celebrity, as do we.

Think about that for a moment.

A part of our intricate, fantastic
and powerful, mental machinery

specifically responds to Courtney Reese

and others who have achieved
her level of notoriety.

We have hundreds of magazines
and websites to follow them, track them,

stalk them, not to mention
cultivate a public obsession for them.

It is totally and utterly out of control.

Her fear of being followed or assaulted

or even murdered is not an irrational one.

She receives threats on her life,
obsessive declarations of love,

psychotic musings about imagined relations
or phantom encounters.

And because of celebrity stalker websites,

her movements and whereabouts
can be tracked to the second.

That's the world she lives in.

So what happened that night?

A man came towards her
in the dark, quickly.

She told him to stop. He didn't.

Fearing for her life,
she acted to protect herself.

She didn't shoot to kill.

She wounded him in the shoulder
to stop his charge.

She was afraid.

Was her fear reasonable?

(pensive music playing)

Some years ago,

a young actress named Rebecca Schaeffer

was shot and killed by a fan
in front of her apartment building.

Monica Seles was stabbed in the back
on a tennis court during a match.

Gianni Versace was gunned down
as he stepped from his home in Miami.

George Harrison was stabbed
in his home in the country.

John Lennon was shot four times
in the back by a devoted fan

as he was coming home
in the evening with his wife.

Courtney Reese carried a gun with her
because of all that had come before.

And she didn't want to be next.

That… is reasonable.

(pensive music playing)

(door opens)

Simon.

Ex-parte, Shirley.
You of all people should know better.

Yes.

Let's file this meeting
under that category, then.

"Things we should know better".

A boy died.

So did a girl, 12 years ago.

-Is that in play?
-You're out of line.

A wise man once said to me,

over a Martini, I believe,

you can take all the facts of case,
figure in all the lawyers,

extenuating circumstances, and still,

people forget, in the end,
it all really comes down to the judge.

You said it with such a charming twinkle.

I was trying to get laid.

And, boy, did you?

A case in my office has fallen
into the hands of the wrong judge.

This ruling can't bring
your daughter back, Simon.

But perhaps it can stop others from dying.

Do you really believe that?

What I believe
is none of your damn business.

I came in to play nicely.

You're wasting your time, Shirley.

Actually, Simon, I'm not.

I'm prepared to audit your sentencing
on drug cases to see if there's a pattern.

I am prepared to make it very public
should there be a pattern.

I'm also willing to expose other patterns
of a happily,

perhaps unhappily married judge.

Screw you.

You did that already.

Now you're doing it to a 16-year-old girl.
I will not allow for it, Simon.

I will bring down upon you
the wrath of my entire firm,

for which you will be no match.

No offense.

(bold stinger playing)

That Squid.

-I need you to talk to Paul.
-Me?

Yeah, he respects you.

I'm not entirely sure
that would be appropriate.

Why, because we're sleeping together?

No, because it's a direct violation
of firm policy.

I'm a partner. You're an associate.
It just wouldn't look good.

Brad, this has nothing to do
with our sex life.

It has to do with you knowing
I am an excellent lawyer

and I deserve to make a partner.

It's as simple as that.

-You do deserve this?
-Mm-hmm.

-I'll talk to him.
-Thank you.

("Frazzled Coyote" by Carl Stalling
playing)

(gasps)

(Marlene grunts)

(groans)

("Frazzled Coyote" continues playing)

(gasps)

(yelps and grunts)

(panting)

("Frazzled Coyote" intensifies)

(breathing heavily)

(music halts)

Paul, Shirley, listen, before this gets
twisted by the wrong person,

I just want you to know,
I am having sex with Brad.

And while I did ask him to speak to you
on my behalf regarding partnership,

that has nothing to do with us having sex

and everything to do with the fact that
I am an excellent attorney.

Is that clear?

("Frazzled Coyote" resumes)

My office, now.

(music ends)

So we just wait?

ALAN: The judge said, "Don't leave."
That means the jury is probably close.

And if we lose?

How much time will I have to serve?

There's no telling.

A normal person would serve
maybe three, four years.

But you're a figment.

I'm not sure
what the sentence is for those.

How odd it must feel to be the object
of so many…

strangers, dreams, and wantings.

I have little doubt you're able to trade
significantly on that.

But?

It has no currency with me.

COURTNEY: Hmm.

Well, lucky for me you're more convincing
in the courtroom.

(Alan chuckles wryly)

You do not believe me?

No, I do not.

(pensive music playing)

All you ever really have to do
is snap your fingers, right?

Oh, has it come to that?

You actually gonna make me snap?

(bold stinger playing)

As of five minutes ago,
all of this nonsense has stopped.

The intrigue, the spying,
the tattling, the games…

Marlene, don't turn your head away
when I'm speaking of you.

Sorry, Shirley.

Ever since you arrived at this firm,
there has been a current of spite.

It will stop as well. If it doesn't,
consider it grounds for dismissal.

(sighs) Marlene, leave.

Denise, stay.

Denise, you will not be making partner.

What?

Regardless of all your other antics,
the fact that you have slept with Brad

exposes this entire firm
to sexual harassment lawsuits.

(scoffs) That's absurd.

There are people sleeping with each other
all over this law firm.

Alan Shore mated two women

and had them trying to murder
each other in the lobby.

You're comparing yourself
to Alan Shore now?

How low are you going here?

Shirley, don't you see,
she is ruining our family?

This isn't a family.

It's a law firm.

So Marlene's getting my spot?

What spot?

Denise, when Marlene was hired here,

she brought in several major clients

and it was always our intention
to make her partner.

Why did you think
you were competing with her?

So that's it then?

I'm afraid so.

(melancholic music playing)

Hey, Guido.

Madam Foreperson,
have you reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

Be strong.

I'll try.

This is LA, it's always "not guilty".

We the jury find the defendant
Courtney Reese…

-not guilty.
-(chuckles)

-(people murmuring)
-(Barry exclaims)

JUDGE HARVEY:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

this court would like to thank you
for your service.

You are dismissed.

This court is adjourned.

(indistinct chatter)

ALAN: Denny.

(gavel bangs)

(lively music playing)

(reporters clamoring)

ALAN: Let's just keep moving.

DENNY: What about my statement?

I'll make the statement.

-My firm.
-My coast.

You can both make statements.
We'll wait for you in the witness room.

-BARRY: Barry Goal.
-Denny Crane.

BARRY: Barry Goal.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

So what happens now?

You just…

hop on a plane and fly back to Boston?

Immediately.

Is it really so awful…

to admit that you're attracted to me?

No.

But?

Denny and I have a little arrangement.

He picked you first.

I see. So, if he happened to pick
the love of your life first,

you would just… go with it?

You're not the love of my life.

So far.

We're not gonna kiss, are we?

(Alan inhales deeply)

-Denny's girl.
-In his mind.

Where it counts.

Cheek?

I'll give you a cheek.

(tender music playing)

So if I ever shoot anybody else…

You have my number.

(romantic music playing)

So you're not dead?

Not yet.

I… You… you went away, and…

I didn't hear anything. Switzerland…

Are you dying?

Are you better?

They were very, very, very good.

But it was awful.

(smacks lips) You wouldn't have
liked to have seen me.

I was at least 7% less cute.

Chocolate.

Mm, this nonsense…
I… I don't know what I was thinking.

Marlene and partnerships.

Office politics, none of it matters.

Yeah.

Whatever.

(chuckles softly)

Listen, uh…

You want to marry me?

(dramatic stinger playing)

(upbeat music playing)

Shirley, the judge reconsidered.
He gave us the three months.

-I'm glad to hear that.
-Thank you.

What'd you do?

I traded on an old friendship,
per your suggestion.

I don't know what to say.

You said, "Thank you." That covered it.

Denny, you're back.

I am? I am.

And I'm all here.

Congratulations on your big victory.

-It's all over the news. Married?
-No.

-You tried.
-I did.

Where's Alan?

Around. He said he had
something to take care of.

-Well, welcome back.
-Shirley…

This is a sweeps episode.

I'm not kissing you.

(sternly) Shirley!

I'm in my 70s. I'm still a physical
specimen, but you never know.

What if I drop dead one day,

and you never got that last…
tonsil brushing?

You always present the most ethically
challenging "what-ifers."

Your loss. And mine.

Denny.

("Babylon" by David Gray playing)

(whispers) Just in case.

(gasps) Mr. Shore.

(both grunts)

(Marlene grunts)

(crashing and shattering)

-MARLENE: Ah, it's okay.
-(Alan grunts)

Springtime.

I'm going to rewrite that office manual.

("Babylon" continues playing)

(Marlene grunts)

Denny, I'm gonna need
a new glass top for my desk.

What happened to you?

(groans)

There was a spider in my office.

Shirley kissed me.

Voluntarily?

Of course.

She still loves me.

Maybe I should marry her.

Shouldn't you first get over Courtney?

Well, my interest in Courtney was mainly…

-Firearms?
-Mm-hmm.

She'd shoot you in the end.

Perhaps before. (chuckles)

I really didn't love LA.

Full of false, faux people.

-You felt at home?
-I did.

I used to love visiting LA
because it was so "la-la."

It made me appreciate Boston more.

But lately, it seems the whole country
is a little "la-la."

Oh, not the red states.

(Alan chuckles)

We're bubblegum nation, Denny,
Tinseltown especially.

There used to be a day when the pandering
in our society was reserved for…

Politicians.

(chuckles)

Maybe that's what bothers me.

Hollywood has sunk
to the level of Congress.

(Denny chuckling)

You ever wonder if you and I are "la-la"?

Don't be ridiculous.

We're flamingos and good ones.

At least one thing remains constant.
I do enjoy traveling with you.

And the best part is,
we always come home together.

To more travels, Denny.

-To the mountains.
-Prairies.

The whores.

America the beautiful.

DENNY: Ah…

("Babylon" by David Gray playing)

To next season, my friend.

Same night?

God, I hope.

(theme music playing)

OLD WOMAN: You stinkah!