All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E04.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

ALAN: Previously on Boston Legal.

Hey, listen, I think you remember
Reverend Diddum.

It turns out the reverend
is also a lawyer.

I've decided to let him handle my divorce.

Instead of targeting the ex-husband,
we go after the reverend.

-The reverend?
-Three sexual harassment complaints.

GARRETT: The man has a certain weakness.

Did you commit this act
because he was evil...

-or because you are?
-Because he was.

I want Alan Shore.

(upbeat rock music playing)

I'd like to know
how a United States congressman

can be held liable for an official act
of congressional business

for which he enjoys immunity.

SHIRLEY: You can be held liable
because you've been sued

under traditional state tort law
for which you enjoy no immunity.

I want Denny Crane.

Uh, you don't want Denny Crane.

-Denise is one of our top.
-I'm entitled to the top.

Is there a reason I'm not getting Denny?

Denny...

-Denny has, uh...
-Mad cow disease.

I just saw him on television
in Kelly Nolan's murder trial.

He was at the defense table
for effect, Raymond.

He's not capable
of any complex litigation.

I knew you were there, Denny.

Did you?

RAYMOND: Raymond Jacobs.

You handled my first divorce 15 years ago.

My wife's name was Lois.

-I remember.
-Why wouldn't you?

-You slept with her.
-Only after the divorce was final.

RAYMOND: May I ask, Denny,

-how do you feel about gun control?
-For communists.

What about banning assault weapons
in the private sector?

DENNY: As soon as you say

it's okay to ban assault weapons,
my friend, even in the private sector,

you make it easier
to take guns away from hunting

and personal protection.

Soon, the military and the police
are without firearms.

By banning assault weapons
in the private sector,

the military and the police would lose
their guns?

And the dominoes. It's a whole theory.

(comical music playing)

She's a liberal. Can't even hunt.

(imitates gunshot)

You set?

Set?

You sure you don't need a second chair?
This is a murder trial.

I want Catherine to be the underdog.

An army of lawyers would subvert that.

You okay?

Tara quit.

What do you mean she quit?

She's gone.

-She quit the firm?
-She quit me, actually.

But she's left the firm as well.

Alan, do you have the necessary focus
to try this case?

I do.

(theme music)

♪ He had it coming, he had it coming ♪

♪ He only had himself to blame ♪

♪ If you'd have heard it ♪

♪ I betcha you would have done the same ♪

The coroner's report showed
he'd been struck twice behind the head.

DET. JOHN: The second blow being fatal.

D.A. MURROW: And was there
any sign of a struggle, Detective?

DET. JOHN: No.

D.A. MURROW: Any evidence to suggest

that the victim had made any threatening
movement toward the defendant?

No.

D.A. MURROW: And in the statement
made to you by the defendant,

did she say the victim
was threatening her?

But she did not say
that she was in any imminent danger

at the time she hit him.

Thank you, sir.

-Your witness.
-I have nothing.

It appears your exhaustive testimony
covered everything.

You left nothing out.

Is that correct, Detective?

-Pretty much.
-Pretty much.

Thank you, Detective,
for your fine commitment to detail.

Okay. The witness may step down.

Actually, one thing
you pretty much left out.

No harm. We can cover it now.

Mr. Ferrion had previously
killed two people.

He whacked both his mother and a neighbor.

-Allegedly.
-Allegedly.

Isn't it pretty much the opinion
of the Boston Police Department

that he committed these murders?

-Yes.
-ALAN: Thank you.

I'm sure you pretty much meant
to include that in your testimony,

but forgotten.

Oh!

Mrs. Piper came to you a week
before Mr. Ferrion was killed, didn't she?

She did.

Told you she feared
Mr. Ferrion would kill again?

-Yes.
-ALAN: Relayed to you Bernard's comments

about how the next time

he'd be sure to leave little clues
like the BTK killer.

She tell you that, detective?

-Yes.
-And after she told you all this,

you did what, detective?

I told her there wasn't enough
to make an arrest.

You sent her away.

Tell me, Detective,
have you considered if you'd heeded

Catherine Piper's warnings,
Bernard Ferrion might still be alive?

-Objection.
-Withdrawn.

Moving forward a bit
to Bernard Ferrion's demise.

So you've found him dead,

conducted a Sherlock Holmesian
investigation

which led at last
to Catherine Piper's doorstep?

No. She came to us.

-Oh, she came to you?
-Yes.

(chuckling) Well,
you certainly left that out, didn't you?

She didn't come forth for a full week.

Maybe Catherine hesitated
because she feared being arrested.

Yet her conscience and sense of morality

eventually overcame her fear,
which, of course, the jury would know

if you'd lived up to your oath
to tell the whole truth.

-Objection.
-Mr. Shore.

What? What did I say?

(comical rock music playing)

I paid $2,000 to his campaign personally,

and I contributed another two million
to the Democratic National Party

on the assumption that this congressman,

if reelected, would support gun control.

Well, certainly, Mr. Norton,
you realize that you cannot

buy votes on Capitol Hill.

(scoffs)
Please.

ALEX: There was never any quid pro quo

on any specific vote.

But, sir, in your complaint,
you cite his failure

to support the ban on assault weapons.

ALEX: The fraud was perpetrated
on me during his re-election campaign.

The two of us got together for dinner.

We shook hands.

He looked me in the eye and he told me

that he would champion, not support,
but champion the renewal

of the ban against assault weapons.

Then he goes off to Washington
and the ban just lapses,

doesn't even get brought up for a vote.

And sir, the fact that
this ban was not renewed,

how has it hurt you personally?

On January 2nd, my nephew was buying milk
in a convenience store.

Two men came in to rob the store
bearing AK-47s.

Gunfire ensued.

My nephew was killed.

I am very sorry for your loss, sir.

Are you suggesting that because
you contributed money to this congressman,

that you bought his vote?

There was no vote.

Instead, Congress just let the ban lapse
without so much as a discussion.

Didn't it lapse in part because
the legislators in favor of the ban

realized the votes just weren't there?

When you secure a contribution
based on a policy

you have no intention of honoring,

that's flat out fraud.

DENISE: My point is,

Congressman Jacobs couldn't have
gotten the ban renewed.

Tom DeLay had dismissed it
as simply a piece of feel good legislation

that had no chance of passing.

I didn't get a commitment from Tom DeLay.

I did from him.

(cheeky music)

-Oh, my God!
-Not quite.

What are you doing here?

Your behavior saddened me, Sara.

-It left me bereft.
-Bereft?

(scoffs)
Let's not get carried away, Reverend.

-You desecrated my collar.
-How?

You smelled it in a sexual manner.

You rubbed it lascivious
against your face.

I'm reporting you.

-To whom?
-Your superiors. Perhaps the bar.

And, and what happens to you
if your behavior becomes public?

I've considered that.
I must atone as well.

We must both go public
with our sins and atone.

Reverend, I'm... sorry.

I was only trying to help a client
I felt was being taken advantage of.

I'm really sorry.

I'd really appreciate you not...

telling.

(breathes deeply)

On one condition.

Go into the women's room,
remove your panties and give them to me.

-I beg your pardon?
-You sniffed my personals.

I should like a whiff of yours.

First of all, I spilled your collar,
not your shorts.

Give me your underwear
or I'm going to atone.

CATHERINE:
I first met him as a recovering murderer.

He'd killed his mother and neighbor.

Had he admitted these crimes to you?

Oh, yes, many times.

ALAN: Catherine, may I ask,

why would you seek to befriend this man?

CATHERINE:
Well, I felt at his core, he wasn't evil.

I also thought I could help him
by introducing him to Jesus Christ,

our savior.

-Was he open to that?
-Not terribly.

He thought it would make
him look like a bad Jew.

So, what happened?

Well, we were in the kitchen watching
the telecast about the Kelly Nolan trial.

He was talking about leaving
hints the next time.

The thing is...

CATHERINE: Saying how
he enjoyed the taste of killing,

my mind started swirling.

I was thinking, I'd gone to the police.

They said they couldn't help.

There was no place for me to turn.

If I ran away,

that was a betrayal
he said he couldn't tolerate.

I looked down at my hands.

So I was holding the skillet,
the weapon he'd used to commit murder.

And I suddenly thought
this was my only way out.

So I just swung...

twice.

And he dropped.

Catherine, you took a human life.

Killing his mother was strike one.

Killing his neighbor was strike two.

And the way he talked,
Bernie had a third strike coming.

(quirky music playing)

I heard about Tara. I feel you're hurt.

What's most upsetting, Denny,
is I don't hurt.

So I don't have to again tell you
I'm there for you and all that crap.

(sighs)

We can skip it.

How's your trial going?

DENNY: Hmm...

I’m there as a prop.

Shirley not giving you enough to do?

(groans)
Alan, it's a dream case...

to be able to actually defend
a congressman

who opposes the ban on assault weapons.

It's what any lawyer lives for.

I'm going to show you something.

(cabinet door unlocking)

Jeez, Denny.

DENNY: Oh, this one...

-my father gave me.
-ALAN: Lovely.

Could you kindly point
in any direction other than my head?

It's not loaded.

-(gunshot fires)
-Oh, I guess it is.

For God's sake, Denny!

Oh, lighten up, would you?

-(gunshot fires)
-(people screaming)

What in God's name?

And it is in God's name, Shirley.

The right to bear arms.

-Second Commandment.
-That would be the Second Amendment.

That's same difference.

-I should be first chairing this case.
-(Alan breathing heavily)

If anybody should be the poster boy
for guns in this country...

It should be you.

Denny, Congressman Jacobs
is for the assault weapon ban.

Did you know that?

What do you mean he's for the ban?

He let it lapse because sometimes
in politics… there are politics.

But in principle, he's for the ban.

What if he supports a law
and then agrees to let it lapse?

Then that would make him...

A Democrat.

(quirky music playing)

You're giving representation
to a Democrat.

(rock stinger playing)

(downbeat music playing)

-(indistinct chatter)
-(vehicle honking)

With all the rain,

the Charles has spilled
into the sewage systems.

ALAN: It isn't exactly Nimmo Bay.

Word is,
they're catching some uncommon ones.

I think I'm going to retire, Alan.

What's going on?

No, no, no. I think it's a sign
when the practice of law

is less rewarding than...

Fishing in a sewer?

I feel devalued.

I always wanted to go out with my pride,

failing that at least my old time slot.

I wish...

I was never great.

Because?

Because...

I remember.

When God strips you of your talent,
he should at least

have the decency
to strip away the memory of having had it.

(pensive music playing)

What do you mean he wants your underwear?

I mean, he wants my underwear!

-Is he still here?
-No!

He asked me to think on it, pray on it,
and he'll be back in the morning.

Okay. Relax.

(sighs)

(Garrett clears throat)

Okay.

You've got to give him your underwear.

-What?
-Otherwise, we'll be fired.

I'm not going to give him my underwear.
Are you crazy?

-The guy's obviously sick.
-Which is why we need to be afraid here.

If we can't count on him to be rational
enough to save his own career…

Just give him your underwear.

That's not even an option, Garrett.

First, because I would never do it.

-And second, because…
-Sara, what if he report us?

-…I'm not wearing any.
-We'll be fired and...

-(whispering) You're not wearing any?
-Garrett, this is your doing.

I'm making it your problem.

You go deal with the sicko.

(quirky music playing)

D.A. MURROW: The skillet was in your hand.

-Could you hold it, please?
-Objection.

I would like her to demonstrate
how she struck, Mr. Ferrion.

Your Honor, this is meant
to inflame the jury.

-There is simply no reason...
-She already described it.

ALAN: The potential value

-of a demonstration in a case like this…
-She has taken this witness chair.

The prosecution is petrified

that my client comes off as sympathetic.

She wants her to re-enact the crime
to negate that sympathy.

It has no probative value.

It's a stunt and a cheap one.

-I'm going to allow it.
-What?

-The jury can see how it happened.
-She testified as to how it happened.

I've made my ruling. Step back.

Step back, counsel.

Would you show us your movements,
Mrs. Piper?

I...

(sighs)

I was at the sink facing this way, and...

he was going on
about the taste of killing.

CATHERINE: And that's when my mind started
to swirl at the thought,

"My God, he'll kill again.
He might kill me."

I looked at the skillet and suddenly
this could be my way out.

And I wheeled.

(Alan winces)

(quirky music playing)

-A plea.
-Did you have to hit it so hard?

I was under oath.

(thudding)

(groans)

I don't like the sound of that.

(sighs)

(clicks tongue)

Catherine. I'm not sure I can win this.

-You promised.
-I promised I'd try.

Well, that's all I'm asking for.
I mean, just keep trying, please.

(exhales deeply)

She really left?

-I'm sorry?
-Tara. She's gone?

(softly) Ah.

Evidently.

I'm sorry.

(somber music playing)

Not to worry.

Look, if I had the power
to move the bill for a vote, I would have.

In fairness,

did you try to move the bill for a vote?

No.

Okay. Why not?

RAYMOND: Quite honestly,
because I was up for re-election.

If I'd been active about renewing
the ban on assault weapons,

the NRA would have opposed me,
run smear campaigns against me,

and I'd be sitting here today
as an ex-congressman.

You caved.

I cannot serve
my constituents if I'm not in office.

Like any elected official,
I have to pick my battles.

And political survival
has to be a consideration.

You told my client you'd support the ban.

At the time, I fully planned to.

Then in September,
three lobbyists from the NRA

walked in my office,

informed me they'd contribute heavily
to my opponent's campaign,

informed me they'd finance
negative ads against me.

My advisers told me they'd be successful.

So I would have lost my
seat supporting a bill

that had no chance of passing.

Does that seem practical to you?

Sticking to one's principles
always struck me as being practical.

Look, the ban on assault weapons...

The Democrats are for it.

The Republicans are for it.

The police are for it.

Eighty percent of the public is for it
and we don't have it.

That should tell you
how powerful the gun lobby is.

So you ran scared.

(quirky music playing)

That was horrible testimony.

All right, Denny.

What was the strategy there?
Can somebody please explain it to me?

The strategy was there was nothing
our client could really do

to renew the ban.

He's therefore not the proximate cause
of the plaintiff's injury.

But that’s defensive! Why be defensive
when justice is on our side?

-Justice being...
-Guns!

There are more guns in American households
than pets for God's sakes.

More guns and cell phones.

Guns are hot.

-It's not that simple, Denny.
-It's as simple as this.

You don't get on the stand

and say "I'm sorry
for not doing the right thing."

You testify, "I did the right thing."

That's how you win lawsuits.

You're right, even when you're wrong.

(quirky music playing)

All right, the panties are
in the envelope.

But before I give them to you,

we're going to set a few conditions
of our own.

Let me see.

The panties. Let me see
that they're really in there.

Let me have a sample sniff
to assure the authenticity.

I'm not going to let you smell them now.

(snickers)

Those are new. She never wore them.

Your law career is over, Mr. Wells.

All right, look,
let's try another approach.

(thrilling music playing)

I will beat you up.

Think I'm kidding?
I will smack you around, Reverend.

And what makes you think
I wouldn't enjoy that?

I'll be back this afternoon
if my terms are not met.

I will go to your superiors.

(thrilling music intensifies)

Awfully tiny cigar.

It's a kind of cigar that goes along
with our wimpy defense today.

Denise and I were discussing it.

We think you're right. We think maybe...

Maybe our approach should be...

"Guns are good."

But of course they are.

The thing is, I don't really believe it,
Denny, nor does Denise.

And juries can always tell
when lawyers are being disingenuous.

We need you to close.

Me?

Hmm.

(sighs)
Thing is...

Shirley I-I don't really do that.

I'm more about...

effect.

This is a big client
who's responsible for awarding this firm

many government contracts.

We need you to pull this out.

(hesitating)
The thing about closing, Shirley, is...

Too many words. I-I can't remember…

Mad cow.

You don't have to remember words, Denny.

This is about assault weapons.

Just speak from your heart.

This is about…

what's dear.

(solemn music playing)

(downbeat music playing)

ALAN: Now, what are you doing?

Shirley asked me to close.

I need more time to prepare.
I really… I can't just...

(sighs)

So I'm copying yours.

What do you mean you're copying mine?

You're closing.

It's good stuff. Do you write it?

-You can't just copy my closing.
-DENNY: Why not?

We're on the same team.
Don't be such a girl.

Denny, we have completely different cases.

So what?
It's not like the jury really listens.

Are you out of your mind?

What's the matter?

I'm afraid.

(somber music playing)

Afraid of what?

Hey...

-You're Denny Crane.
-No, I'm not.

That's somebody I used to be.

Can you believe the irony?

All I ever really wanted to do
was to rise up one day

and deliver the big summation
on behalf of…

A gun.

And now the day finally comes.

And I'm afraid.

The day will be here tomorrow, my friend.

And you won't be afraid.

You know why? You're still Denny Crane.

This I know.

I'm not suggesting
you give him your underwear.

-Ugh. Yes, you are. Garrett.
-I'm not.

I'm saying put these on and, uh...

You're as sick as he is!

-Sara, if this guy reveals…
-Where is he?

Waiting in the lobby.

(thrilling music playing)

(thrilling music intensifies)

Reverend.

Sara.

You're not getting any of my apparel,
Reverend.

If you want to tell my superiors
about our little sting, then do it,

knowing the consequences
will be far worse for you than for me.

One sniff, right here. I'll walk away.

One more slap,
we can call the whole matter settled.

(epic music playing)

Sweet.

(upbeat music)

There was no self defense
or defense of others here.

I'm not going to waste time
telling you something you already know.

The defendant simply made a decision,
a reflective one,

that Bernard Ferrion
should no longer be among the living.

Two whacks to the back of the head.

Whether Catherine Piper
was playing an executioner or God,

she committed murder.

Law and order isn't simply
something found on television

four nights a week.

Our integrity as a people
is inextricably bound up

with the idea
that we are a nation of laws.

You, as jurors,
took an oath to uphold the law.

In a time when we as Americans
are increasingly labeled

as a "Might makes right" society,

I sincerely hope,
for our legacy as a moral society,

you choose to honor that oath.

I certainly hope you're good.

In 2003,
we had 16,500 murders in this country.

Sixty-two hundred went unsolved.

On another 4,000, we made arrests.

The defendants eventually went free.

We don't catch killers in this country.

Since 1960, 200,000 murders
have gone unsolved.

Forget about the ones where we just failed
to convict for 200,000. We were baffled.

Ask me. We could use
a few more vigilantes.

Now, you swing that skillet
at your own risk, I grant you.

Kill an innocent person,
off to prison you should go.

But Catherine Piper didn't do that.

Catherine Piper tried law and order.

She was scared for her life.

She did fear for the safety of others.

And in the heat of that fear,
she swung that skillet,

accomplishing in the process
something the police couldn't.

She got the bad guy.

Now I certainly don't want a society
where people start arbitrarily

taking the law into their own hands.
I know you don't.

But society certainly isn't safeguarded.

Nor is it remotely benefited
by putting Catherine Piper in prison.

Unlike the District Attorney,
I don't think we're a country

inextricably bound up with law and order
or some national integrity.

I like to think we're… a people.

Mostly about humanity.

And humanity... isn't about

the right to trumpet moral superiority.

Humanity...

is about compassion.

Even forgiveness.

Catherine Piper, in all her fear,

reacted in a very… human way.

She's here now...

asking you to do the same.

(soft music playing)

I thought you'd be better.

-Where the hell is he?
-ALAN: I don't know.

The last time we spoke, he seemed…

He's supposed to be here closing.

I'll call him on his cell phone.

-But Shirley...
-The other side has started.

You may have to do this yourself.

Denny's feet seemed a little frozen.

Oh, my God.

-Denny's missing.
-CATHERINE: I heard.

How long does a jury deliberate?

-There's no rule.
-But it could be today?

The judge said he'll keep them
until ten o'clock tonight.

Alan.

Whatever happens, thank you.

I mean that.

Barretta said that to his attorney.
Brought him luck.

Like Congressman Jacobs says,

everybody wants the ban
on assault weapons.

The Democrats, the Republicans,

the police, 78% of the public.

And yet we don't have it. Why?

The Senate majority leader has said,
and I quote,

"The will of the American people
is consistent with letting it expire."

Is that consistent with your will?
With yours?

What the hell is going on here?

The NRA has them all terrified!

How powerful is this lobby?

Senator Kerry,
in his bid to get elected president,

was advised that he had to go out
and shoot an animal

and to be photographed doing so.

He's a windsurfer, for God's sake!

Well, enough... is enough.

It is time to start holding
Congress accountable.

Thirty thousand deaths by firearms
every year in this country,

and we can't ban assault weapons?

People need them
for personal protection? To hunt?

And now, we actually have legislation
pending in Washington

that will literally shield
the gun manufacturers

from being sued, even for negligence.

We can sue doctors, big tobacco, asbestos,

but the gun industry
gets its own special legislation

granting them immunity.

What the hell is going on?

Where are our elected officials?

This one vowed to fight the gun industry.

Took campaign contributions
on the promise that he would.

And what did Alex not get in return?

His 16-year-old nephew...

while buying a quart of milk,
was mowed down...

by two AK-47s.

-You want to take it?
-It's all yours.

DENNY: Denny Crane!

(patriotic stinger playing)

Mr. Crane, we do not allow firearms
in the courtroom.

Oh, it's just a prop , Judge. It's not...

-(gunshot fires)
-(crowd screaming)

…loaded.

(ceiling cracking)

(indistinct background chatter)

Apologies.

(crowd yelping)

It was the shot heard round the world.

DENNY: Remember?

Not the punch, not the, uh, stabbing.

It was a shot to rally the Minutemen
to defeat the Redcoats at Lexington.

This nation began with a gun.

Will go down with a gun.

Or maybe, if we have them...

won't go down at all.

Let me tell you about assault weapons.

The FBI now reports that terrorists
are coming to America to get them

because it's easier to procure them here.

Now I ask you, how can we
supply terrorists with AK-47s...

and not give them to our own people?

That may sound crazy, but...
(stutters)

…part of being an American
in the Wild West was we came armed.

It's in the Bill of Sale for God's sake.

(whispering)
Bill of Rights.

DENNY: In our national anthem,

we've got bombs bursting in air
for God's sake.

We drive around with our shotguns
on the outside of our pickup

so the neighbors will see 'em. And...

nobody talks about this out loud,
of course,

but things might have
turned out differently

for the nephew of the plaintiff
if he had had his own automatic weapon.

First sound of democracy
came from a gun like this one.

And that's why...

the ban on assault weapons
has been allowed to lapse.

It's all about our basic civil rights.

It's about democracy. It's about freedom.

("Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing)

Denny Crane.

Mr. Foreman,
has the jury reached a verdict?

-We have, Your Honor.
-JUDGE HARRY: How say you?

FOREMAN: In the matter
of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts

versus Catherine Piper

on the charge of murder
in the first degree,

we, the jury, find the defendant...

-Is it so much to remember?
-(shushes)

Not guilty.

JUDGE HARRY:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

-we thank you for your service.
-Oh, thank God.

-Amen.
-JUDGE HARRY: You are dismissed.

I think… I think...

I think I might actually cry.

(chuckles)
I would have if I'd have been guilty.

JUDGE HARRY: Mrs. Piper.

You are free to go.

-Court is adjourned.
-Congratulations, Catherine.

Thank you.

You know, in all the time
I've known you, Alan,

I don't think I've ever hugged you.

We need to fix that.

(chuckling)

(tender music playing)

CATHERINE: Oh.

(Catherine breathing deeply)

-DENNY: Was it thrilling?
-It actually was.

With all the battles we fight,
we don't often get to wage them

on behalf of people
we genuinely care about.

And you? To be able to walk into court
dressed as the mascot

-for the New England Patriots.
-Super Bowl champion Patriots.

Alan, I was good in there.
I can't be sure,

but in the middle, I think I actually felt

smoke coming out of my ass.

I have no doubt.

SHIRLEY: Boys.

Any word?

Jury's still out, which... is a miracle.

Denny, your...

your closing was nothing
short of… unbelievable.

Thank you.

We might actually have a chance
of winning this, although...

Well, you heard me say miracle.

I-I just wanted to say that...

you intermittently made sense
in there, and...

You'll have sex with me.

Come on.

At least pet the musket.

(chuckling)

I have a dinner.

But because you've been so good...

-(whispering) Denny Crane.
-Whoo!

(whispers)
A quickie.

Nothing for my musket?

Another time.

DENNY: Hmm.

Alan, you were right.

I still am Denny Crane. I've still got it.

And I've decided
for my New Year's resolution,

I'm going to remember that.

-What's your resolution?
-It's October.

And that's a watch.

October's not too late
to make a resolution.

You don't have any.

Mine would be to appreciate
my friends every single day

and catch more fish.

Speaking of which,
the rumor appears to be true.

They're catching them up on Common Way.

Then what the hell are we doing
on this balcony?

Indeed.

-Cheers, Denny.
-Cheers, my friend.

("The Andy Griffith Theme" playing)

(distant laughter)

BRAD: Next on Boston Legal.

I've been Schmidt-canned!

Can you tell me, Shirley, what possibly
occasioned you to fire my assistant?

She went to the police to turn in a client
who she subsequently murdered.

-The fire killed my wife.
-DENISE: The woman was terminally ill.

Is the jury going to care
that her life was shortened by a few days?

SHIRLEY: Lori Colson filed

an internal complaint against you
for sexual harassment.

SHIRLEY: You need to apologize to her.

Take off your pants.

You had sex tonight
with one of their paralegals?

-Yes.
-Where do you think you are, Garrett?

Do you think you're still in college?

(theme music playing)