All language subtitles for Breeders.S04E06.No.Arseholes.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Kitsune

They love all the different
stuff you've worked on.

- Did you tell them I can do it?
- Yep, but not for three weeks

'cause you've got
this other gig.

Are they okay with that?

They are happy to work
around your availability.

Good. I do... I do like
freelancing, but, oh,

sometimes I miss being
in the same place every day,

seeing the same people,
you know, work friends.

Yeah. You're always the new boy
as a freelancer, aren't you?

Or girl, in your case.

Lady.

- Woman?
- Woman.

Right. Business chat done.
Let's go grab that lunch.

Grab, uh, oh, dear. Um...

Have we got lunch
booked for today?

Yes, straight after coffee.
A nice, fun lunch.

Oh, bugger. I've said I'd go
on a cheese barge with Siobhan.

You go up and down the canal
eating cheeses.

It's very well reviewed.

Oh, o-okay,
well, no... no worries.

Sorry. Um, do you wanna come?

Ah, no. I'm fine.

I don't wanna be the gooseberry
on a cheese barge.

Well, I'd better
get going then.

Um, sorry again about lunch.

No worries. Off you go.

- Go. Go get... Bye.
- Ciao. Ciao.

Okay. See ya.

Please leave
a message after the tone.

Hi, Susie's voicemail.

Um, I was just wondering if
you fancied a night in London

or lunch or something
one weekend.

So, uh, so, yeah, let me know
if and when you're free.

Sending loads of love.
Speak soon.

Oh, it's Ally, by the way.
I should have led with that.

To rerecord
your message, press...

Ally.

- Oh, my God! Evelyn. Hi!
- How are you?

I am fine.
Are you fine?

I... I'm really fine.
Um, look, there's somewhere

I actually have to be
in the next five minutes,

- but--
- Me, too. Absolutely.

- Give me your phone.
- Oh.

And I'll give you
my new number.

- We must meet up.
- Yeah, we must.

I know people always say that,
but I... I actually mean it.

And we can drink now
'cause our kids are 18,

and no one's breastfeeding,
hopefully.

- God, it's been ages.
- What, like, years and years.

Yeah. Oh, should I dig out
Shiloh and, um, Bexy's number,

and we can have
a full-on reunion?

- Yeah, that--sure. Great.
- Yeah!

- Ally, it's so good to see you.
- So good to see you.

- I gotta fly.
- No, you go, go, go, go.

- No... Okay.
- No, you're fine, yeah.

- Bye.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye.

" playing]

Oh, shit.

Not fucking bad.

Mmm.

Back off those fucking
muffins, Worsleys!

Yeah, yes, I know, it's
like what I was saying...

Can we leave those? Yes.

Mm-hmm.

What are you doing? You've
never cleaned that before.

Which is why I am now giving it
the deep clean it deserves.

You don't need
to deep clean the house.

You've literally never
done that.

This is crazy cleaning,
like in a documentary.

Oh, shit, that's rank. Look.

They're not gonna peer
inside the kettle.

God, I've really
neglected this kettle.

Mum, stop cleaning.

It's freaking me out.

Apart from saying hi
to Evelyn for two seconds,

I haven't seen these women
for 17 years.

I want to impress them.

They'll be impressed by
your charisma, not your kettle.

No arseholes.

- What?
- Well, usually there's

an arsehole with a group of
friends, but not with this lot.

There were 10 of us
all pregnant at the same time,

but only four of us got on,
so we used to meet up

and cry together
about breastfeeding

and eat loads of sugar.

Why aren't you still friends
with them now, then?

We just stopped seeing
each other. It all got too busy.

But anyway, my... my point is,
is that I can't go into my 50s

with Darren as my only friend.

And even he stood me up
the other day,

and Darren's never
stood me up before.

I mean, Darren's meant
to be a permanent fixture.

Darren is the Hootenanny.

Oh, fuck! This is sheer hell.

I am never doing
this again. Ahh.

You've got Susie, Mum.
Reading isn't that far.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

I will make the effort to go
to Reading at some point.

Aves, you ready to go?

What's happening?
Ally, are you still being weird?

Did you ever meet Mum's gang?

We weren't a gang.
We didn't shoot rival mums.

No, I can barely
remember them, to be honest.

You met them a few times.
We had that lovely picnic

at Regents Park.

If you guys wanna help,
you're very welcome to.

I've got a cramp.

No. Mmm...

Hey, what do you think?

I still think
it needs something.

Hmm. A tablecloth?

A tablecloth?

Maya's family always
have a tablecloth.

- Do they?
- Yeah.

I mean...

I'm not being an evangelist
for tablecloths--

No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's go
look at some tablecloths, then.

- What, together?
- Yeah. I don't know

what I'm looking for.
You're the tablecloth guy.

These are all too fussy.

It's like putting knickers
on a table.

- That one's quite plain.
- Plain is good.

I want my muffins to shine.

Can you get me one of those?
Thank you.

Oh, what's that?
I like that.

- Thank you.
- Cheers.

Thanks.

Um, you won't be
embarrassed of me,

the 18-year-old baby daddy?

No, never.

Just that it might
make you look like a, um--

- Like what? Like a shit mum?
- No, I wasn't gonna say that.

Well... it might.

No, 'cause I'm not
a shit mum, and anyway,

they're not like that.
That's the point.

- "There are no arseholes."
- No arseholes.

So, uh, how long are
you with us again?

- Uh, just for one more night.
- Right.

Yeah. Maya's cousins go back up
to Glasgow tomorrow, I think,

so we get our bedroom back.

But I just, I really like
being back in my old room

with my D&D all set up
and the house just all quiet.

Mm. Well, there's gonna be
four women cackling away

in the house today, so...

- Cackling, Mum?
- Yeah.

I've never,
ever heard you cackle.

I... I am a cackler.

- You're not a cackler.
- I am.

Especially with these girls.

Maybe I'll go and get
that pint with Gaz

- he keeps bothering me about.
- Gaz? Really? What, Cokey Gaz?

He's a dick, Luke.
We don't like him.

Well, no, he's off the coke now,

but he is... he's still a dick,
so I'll just... I'll stay in.

Well, I guess one harmless pint
in the afternoon

would be fine, wouldn't it?

- Hi!
- Hi!

Two at once! Instant party!
Come in, come in.

Bloody hell, it's gorgeous.

Many, many, many stairs,
and glass.

So much glass
and far too many sofas.

No one needs that many sofas.
Stop talking, Ally.

I don't know why
you didn't ever come here.

Oh, Evelyn came, and you
went to hers once, right?

Oh. Oh, yes, that's right, yeah.

Yeah.

I walked out
of the house one night

and checked straight
into a Travelodge...

...and ate cheese on the floor

in front of the telly
for two days.

Shit.

- Did you feel angry?
- Oh, I felt mad, Bexy,

like mad as shit.

I slid down a wall once,
you know, like...

You know how people
do that in films?

- Yes.
- Like... Like Bette Davis.

Ah, I can't even remember why.

Well, I was 39.

30-fucking-nine?

Oh, my God,
that's so fucking unfair.

- Yeah.
- I thought I was young.

Fuck the menopause.

Oh, this is what I've missed,
us just being like this.

I love it so much. Right,
I wanna know about your kids.

Tell me everything.

But first, would you like
to have some wine?

Oh, no, thank you.
It's a bit early.

Cup of tea would be nice,
though.

Sure. Um, Shiloh, wine?

Um... Ooh.
Tea for me too, please.

You've gone to so much effort.

A tablecloth. It's very posh.

I don't think I've ever
owned a tablecloth.

Oh, no, I haven't
gone to any effort.

This--We always eat like this.

I've gone to
so much fucking effort!

We never eat like this,

and I bought that tablecloth
this morning.

I just wanted you to think
that I was amazing.

Well, you areamazing.

I've always thought
you were amazing.

I mean, you always made us...

well, I can't speak
for you, Rebekah,

but you've always made melaugh.

You're Rebekah now?
You're not Bexy anymore?

No. No one wants to be
a five-foot, 50-year-old Bexy.

Ooh! Evelyn.

- Hi!
- Hello again!

Oh!

The reunion's happening.
Come and see everyone.

When did you last see,
um, Bex-- Re--

Sorry. Rebekah and Shiloh?

Oh, I couldn't...
I couldn't honestly...

And look, they're...
they're here.

- Put your stuff there.
- Okay.

Here we are. Do feel free
to try a muffin.

So, tell me about the kids.

Well, I never see Gem.

He's always, always out.
You know, comes in at 6 a.m.,

and he wants to go everywhere,
do everything.

Australia, Thailand, Texas.

- Texas?
- Yeah. Austin.

"Austin's buzzing," he says.
Like...

He really loves his life, but I
do want him to start to focus.

- Like, you know, go to uni.
- Yeah, but Shy, he's 18.

They should be doing that stuff.
What were we doing at 18?

I'm not gonna tell you
what Iwas doing.

Exactly.

- These are the fun years.
- Yeah!

Make mistakes
while they're still at home.

- Ally, have you got any wine?
- Lord, yeah.

I'm just gonna pop out
for a quick rollie,

then I'd love a massive wine.

- Here we go.
- Ah, thank you.

Oh, rollies and wine.
You're my kinda gal.

I've never said "gal" before
in my whole life.

Ah. It's so weird,
all being together again,

but, like, nice weird.

Do you remember when we went
to that breastfeeding clinic,

and I got stuck in the loo,

and the lactation consultant
had to break me out?

Yeah. Well, sort of.

We laughed
about it for ages.

Do you know,
I thought that was Shiloh.

No, it was me!

- Do you want one?
- Oh, God, um, always, but, uh,

I went down a Google hole
about smoking on HRT, so...

Oh, yeah.
That's why I don't do HRT.

Because I love smoking.

Only joking. No, I am doing it,
but I'm doing it naturally,

you know, mushroom tea,
seeds, all that crap.

And smoking.
God, I'm a massive hypocrite.

I think
I would have killed Paul

if I wasn't on HRT.

Oh, um, you...
you still with Paul, then?

I am, yeah.

Are you...
Are you still with Abigail?

- I am.
- She's so great.

- She is.
- How is she?

Very good, thank you.
Yeah.

I was telling
my, um, kids how...

how brilliant you all are,

what a shame it is
that we fell out of touch.

Do you know how...
you know how in every group

there's always a--

That's Paul. I better...
I better take this because

he's with his parents.

Just check everything's
all right.

Hi, love. Two secs.

...just such
a total arsehole.

- Who?
- My boss.

- My boss is such an arsehole.
- Awful person.

Oh, right. Do...
Do you know them?

No, no. Just... just
from what Shy was saying.

Right. Yeah.

So, you're happy, Ally?

Yeah. I mean...

Yeah, I mean,
it hasn't always been happy,

and we won't always be happy.

There's always fucking
challenges, aren't there?

What...
What sort of challenges?

Oh, just the normal stuff.
The normal...

every family... stuff.

Oh, that'll be Lukey. Luke.

Hi, love!
Uh, we're just upstairs.

Give me a shout
if you want anything.

- 'Kay!
- Oh, is he coming up to say hi?

Luke, come up and say hi!

So many stairs.

Here he is.

Uh, this is Luke.

Although you've all met,
obviously.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Hi. You're so tall, Luke.

Am I?

We remember you as
a teeny-tiny baba.

- Oh, don't embarrass him.
- It's so good to see you.

Yeah, you... you, too.

How was Gazand the pub?

Uh, yeah, I didn't end up
seeing him in the end.

I just, um, just went for
a nice stroll in the park.

Okay.

I'll make a cup of tea and go
down and play, if that's okay?

Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Cool. See you all.

- See you!
- Bye.

- See you then.
- Bye.

- Oh, he's adorable.
- What a lovely young man.

"A nice stroll in the park."

What's he
playing down there?

Uh, PlayStation or D&D.

It's Dungeons & Dragons.

It's like... it's roleplay.

Improvisation with elves.

Like in Stranger Things.

- Oh!
- Oh.

Yes, of course.

That's really sweet
that he still does that.

- Oh, yeah.
- Better that

than growing up too fast.
You're very lucky.

It's not that sweet.

I think that lots
of 30-year-olds play D&D, too.

Well, at least
you know he's safe,

not like Sammy. I wish Sammy
was innocent like that still.

My Gem's the same.
His social life is crazy.

- Crazy.
- What's Luke up to next?

He's down to the last few
candidates for a place

on a music production course
in Manchester.

It's a very,
very prestigious course.

It's life-changing, potentially.

- Wow!
- Yeah.

Good for him!

I went to the Adelphi.
Manchester.

Time of my life.

- Frankie's off to uni.
- Mum?

Oh! Fucking hell. You made
me jump, Luke.

- Yeah?
- Can I have a quick word?

Yeah.

- Why are you lying, Mum?
- I'm not lying.

- It's true about the course.
- "What's Luke up to next?"

I'd have thought
"becoming a dad"

would probably be
the answer to that one.

I'm sorry. I was trying to--

Be someone else?
Pretend that I'msomeone else?

No, no, you're perfect
just the way you are. I just...

It's me. It's me
that's not. I'm so sorry.

I knew you were
embarrassed of me.

I'm not, Luke.
I'm just a wanker.

I'm a massive, fucking wanker.

Sorry about that.
Where were we?

- Um... Frankie and...
- Ah, yeah, well,

she's got this
hideous boyfriend, Sid.

Oh, he's dreadful.
He likes himself

way more than he likes Frankie.

How do you know that?

Um...

Ally--

You're still friends,
aren't you?

Yes.

Yes.
I'm gonna have a fucking muffin.

We've been friends
since we last saw you.

Right, well, why
did you pretend you weren't?

Well, we... we didn't want to.
It was just you assumed.

Well, you could
have corrected me.

Uh, excuse me, you two.
Hello. Pipe up, please.

I'm so sorry, Ally.

Have you really
been friends the entire time?

- Fucking hell.
- You weren't on Facebook.

I'm still not on Facebook.
Is that why we're not friends?

'Cause I'm not
on fucking Facebook?

No. That...

So, how often do you meet up?

Oh, fine. Leave this all to me.
Yeah, cheers, girls.

Look, we used
to meet up every week,

but now it's just
every few months.

But, look, it was so good
to bump into you.

But it was clear
that you thought

that we weren't all
still in touch.

But why did you bother coming?

You could have said
you were busy.

- Oh, my God.
- What is it?

I am... the arsehole.

What?

I'm the arsehole.
That's why there isn't

an arsehole on the group,
because I'm her.

You're not an arsehole, Ally.
We really wanted to see you,

and we planned to tell you
that we were still friends,

but... it just seemed...

I don't know...
so mean.

It's a bit mean to come
to my house and lie to me.

That's mean.

- It is.
- It is.

It really is.

So, why did you stop
inviting me to things?

You're lovely, Ally.

Why did you
stop inviting me to things?

- Let's just say it.
- Just say what?!

So, this is the picnic that
you're talking about?

Yeah. We were all hanging out
in Regents Park.

Really sunny day.

Yeah, I remember.
It was a beautiful day.

Paul and my David went
to watch the bubble man

with the big wand thing.

Paul had put
some money in the hat,

but the bubble man said,
"Sorry, no more bubbles."

Right.

But Paul said
he'd paid for bubbles.

But the bubble man insisted

and said he'd give Paul
the money back.

- David was mortified.
- And then... Paul...

called the bubble man a cunt.

Right, but was he one?

Well, he actually
called him a bubble cunt.

I mean, I thought it was
quite funny.

But, it was Abigail. She--

Ally, they were
holding our babies.

So? They didn't understand,
did they?

And it sounds like
the bubble guy wasbeing a cunt.

If someone's paid for bubbles,
then give them

some fucking bubbles.
It's not hard.

The point is,
Paul said it often.

He was always swearing
or shouting, raging away.

We just found it
a bit much. He...

He was a bit much.

Right.
But it was only one time.

There were some
other times, Ally.

But you liked me?

We thought if we'd came,

maybe you'd have split up,
or he'd changed.

Oh, we did almost
split up, actually.

And he can be an arsehole,
but so can I.

He's al-- He's also...
He's a fucking wonderful person,

and he doesn't shout
that much anymore.

God, he's my best...
he's my best mate.

And it's not like I'm
Kate fucking Middleton, is it?

You have said "fuck"
about 60 times.

It's not about swearing.

I remember Paul didn't seem
to like us much either.

That's just a thing
that he does.

Well, I'm gutted.

I'm gutted, too.
All these years,

I could have been
making you shit muffins.

Fuck it. Come on.
Let's just start again,

pick up from where we left off.

That's nice of you.
It is, but I...

I can't pretend that Paul
doesn't exist, because he does,

and he will probably say "cunt"
in front of a baby again

because he loves
the word "cunt."

And maybe even Luke's baby...

because Luke
is having a baby.

Yeah, I've been talking shit
all day, too.

That's what Luke is up to next.

He is becoming
an 18-year-old dad.

He doesn't live here
anymore.

He just comes back to chill out

and be a Dungeon Master.

So, we've all been lying.

But I've been the best at it.

Let's do this again.
I mean, not exactly this,

but let's not
leave it so long.

Yeah. Okay. See ya.

- Okay. Bye, Ally.
- Bye.

Yeah, he canbe an arsehole.

But I love my arsehole!

Sorry, kids.

- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.

When I was really little.

I'm pretty sure
it was only last year.

Oh, ha ha.

- Hey, hon.
- Hey.

What you looking at?

Houses.
We're moving to Reading.

- Reading?
- Mm-hmm.

Right. But you... you know
Susie's not staying in Reading.

- She's coming back.
- But she can't come back yet.

She can't just up
and leave her parish, Paul.

Okay, so we're... we're
temporarily moving to Reading?

Yes. No. I don't know.

Would... Would you like me to
drive you to Reading tomorrow?

Yes, please.

- Or youcould even drive.
- I could.

It's 26 minutes
from Paddington to Reading, Mum.

- I just looked.
- There you go.

Thank you.

I'm gonna get another one
of your muffins.

They're fucking incredible.

- Having another one?
- I'm coming in again.

- He's having another one.
- All right.

Fucking arsehole.