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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Forward to HR.
2
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Hmm, not quite.
3
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Fix section two and
bring it to my office.
4
00:00:22,579 --> 00:00:24,650
Open door policy.
5
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Tell them no, and swear a lot.
6
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I expect foulness and creativity.
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- Hey, how was your weekend?
- Do not care.
8
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Where's the booze?
9
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I'm sure you're capable
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of finding a drink on your own.
11
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Come on. Where would I find...
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I'll consider this an apology.
13
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Wow, you guys actually look pretty good.
14
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Thank you for noticing.
15
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I am on a new fitness regimen.
16
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I've been practicing on the range.
17
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Didn't practice the spinning, though,
18
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which I thought would be easier.
19
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And I feel like there's
only a 10% chance
20
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I'll attack my coworkers' eyes
21
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with stainless steel kebab skewers.
22
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I mean, you should really be at zero.
23
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- Now it's up to 20.
- Ah!
24
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Eh, still pretty good.
25
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All right, back to basics here.
26
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Missions that make us money
27
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and make the world a better place.
28
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No muss, no waste.
29
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That certainly explains these guys.
30
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You, uh, ready for us to start?
31
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Yep, we're all about efficiency,
32
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so you can start now.
33
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So this "no waste" thing, Lana.
34
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How does that jive with
your office remodel?
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It's part of my new
philosophy, true transparency.
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The walls of my office will be glass.
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Isn't it a contradiction
for a spy agency
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to be so transparent?
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- No!
- Why not?
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Because shut up!
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I mean, that's not really
constructive right now, Cyril.
42
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Nice save.
43
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I don't think anyone noticed.
44
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Could you keep it...
45
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Down for just a minute
46
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until the briefing is over?
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Mission one of our new era.
48
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The Vanguard is a crew of
international jewel thieves.
49
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Ex-Special Forces.
50
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Highly organized.
51
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They have stolen billions.
52
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Who cares about shiny rocks?
53
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Unless...
54
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- Are we working for magpies?
- Ray?
55
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Y'all, this is our trial
to work with Interpol.
56
00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:11,094
One of their agents is
asking us for the assist.
57
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Wow. Cheryl: Interpol!
58
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This could really put us on the map,
59
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and that map is of
Paris, France, Europe.
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Nice! Who thinks I can eat
61
00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:19,165
a whole baguette without chewing?
62
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Bets on the table. Odds are two to one.
63
00:02:20,532 --> 00:02:21,534
- Nah.
- Pass.
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00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:22,551
- No.
- Obviously you can.
65
00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:24,087
Oh, right, you guys saw that one.
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Pretty impressive, and it did make
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for an entertaining funeral brunch.
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Pam, with all the new hires,
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I need you here to keep an eye on HR.
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00:02:31,046 --> 00:02:33,114
But Paris! And...
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Sorry, thought I had it. Didn't have it.
72
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But come on!
I can do both at the same time.
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Just like solemnly
paying your last respects
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00:02:40,386 --> 00:02:42,256
and inhaling carbs.
75
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Exactly. Thank you.
76
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I'll do HR stuff from
the phone over there.
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Ugh, all right.
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00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,279
Pam, you'll go with Archer and Ray.
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Uh, I like Paris.
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00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:53,517
Yeah, I need you here to
get Accounting up to speed.
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Pam gets to go.
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Yeah, but we like her.
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Okay. We get this right,
84
00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:59,636
and we'll have all the
Interpol work we can eat.
85
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It's all a part of our new beginning.
86
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And with that, continue.
87
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And in the interest of new beginnings,
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00:03:11,749 --> 00:03:14,074
maybe we keep this to ourselves.
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00:03:15,288 --> 00:03:16,657
Don't worry, Lana.
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He was probably just gasping
at your progressive leadership.
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B-b-b-body!
92
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No, it was the body.
93
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
94
00:04:03,853 --> 00:04:05,222
Why does everyone stand up?
95
00:04:05,255 --> 00:04:06,459
It's not like we're going anywhere.
96
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You're standing up.
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Otherwise, I'll lose my spot.
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Look at me like that again,
99
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and I'll slap you like a Huguenot.
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00:04:13,506 --> 00:04:15,175
Dude, you need to chill.
101
00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:18,248
The wine they have in
France is l'amazing.
102
00:04:18,281 --> 00:04:20,252
Uh, yeah, this stuff's from Quebec,
103
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and I think it's made
from beaver squeezins.
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Ah, the French.
105
00:04:24,303 --> 00:04:26,286
Where's the romance, the intrigue?
106
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Spies do not fly coach!
107
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,774
But they do apparently yell
about how they're spies.
108
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Misdirection, everyone!
109
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Who's this Interpol douche anyway?
110
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All it said was "Agent Z."
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00:04:36,974 --> 00:04:38,511
Probably some washed-up hack,
112
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a bureaucratic mushroom feeding
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on the decaying corpse of Europe,
114
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giving come-hither looks to his...
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- Shotgun!
- Shotgun!
116
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Ah, damn it!
117
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Zara Khan, Interpol.
118
00:04:57,983 --> 00:05:01,022
We weren't expecting
someone with your profile
119
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:02,404
or bone structure.
120
00:05:02,415 --> 00:05:03,918
Well, it's a blessing and a curse.
121
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Uh, what's the curse?
122
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- Pretending there's a curse part.
- L'zing.
123
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So you are officially
independent consultants
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joining me on a fact-finding mission.
125
00:05:11,889 --> 00:05:13,402
And unofficially?
126
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,108
Unofficially, I'd recommend
a more modern hairstyle.
127
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- Double zing!
- I would, but I'd be arrested
128
00:05:18,602 --> 00:05:21,842
by the U.S. Park Service
for desecrating a national treasure.
129
00:05:24,514 --> 00:05:25,917
Uh, you in a hurry here?
130
00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:28,890
Always.
131
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Wait, what are we doing?
132
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Like I said, fact-finding.
133
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We're just chasing down a lead.
134
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Ah!
135
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- Jesus.
- Um, was it in that guy's skull?
136
00:05:40,446 --> 00:05:41,615
Doesn't look like it,
137
00:05:41,648 --> 00:05:44,721
but I bet there are more skulls in here.
138
00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:45,924
Well, it's not one of mine.
139
00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:47,661
Wait, what do you mean, "one of yours"?
140
00:05:47,694 --> 00:05:49,998
Well, this one has the
"right" number of heads,
141
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:51,851
and look at those hands.
142
00:05:51,862 --> 00:05:54,641
Oh! Zero embedded poison sacs.
143
00:05:54,652 --> 00:05:57,166
Well, we're in luck.
The teeth are well-preserved.
144
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Okay, cross-reference those
with our dental records.
145
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,687
I don't know what that means.
146
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,289
I just think teeth are neat.
147
00:06:02,322 --> 00:06:04,461
"Hey, bones, get back inside!"
148
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,663
"No!"
149
00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:07,534
So we're calling the police, right,
150
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,605
since we're so above board now?
151
00:06:09,638 --> 00:06:12,577
Yeah, this is an internal matter.
152
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Internal, like my fingers
in this dead guy's mouth.
153
00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,052
Internal like I'm
going to gently convince
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and/or threaten the guy that saw this
155
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so he forgets all about it.
156
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Go get him.
157
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I think he just walked in.
158
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Well, that saves time.
159
00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:29,400
Tell me where the Eye of the Serpent is!
160
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Are we straight up robbing this guy?
161
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He doesn't look like a cat burglar.
162
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Because he's clearly a dog person.
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- Don't say dog person!
- Boom, got it in.
164
00:06:35,489 --> 00:06:38,111
- No, you did not.
- Whoa, uh, guys.
165
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If you don't tell me, it's
your pinky or your pug.
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- Oh, Muffin!
- Your choice.
167
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I... I... I can't choose.
168
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Guess it's both.
169
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- 3, 2...
- Oh, no! Oh, no! No!
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I'll tell. I'll tell!
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I wouldn't have shot the dog.
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And the finger?
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I've always thought ten is a lot.
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Oh, mints.
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This is a real roller coaster.
176
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She knows how to handle herself, though.
177
00:07:09,244 --> 00:07:11,149
- I don't trust her.
- This whole thing is designed
178
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to bond us to her
through intense emotion.
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You gotta fight it.
180
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Jesus Christ, you worry too much.
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00:07:16,939 --> 00:07:19,594
That is famously not my problem.
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- Tell her!
- He gets shot, like, all the time.
183
00:07:22,428 --> 00:07:24,699
And safe sex? Forget it.
184
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He is absolutely riddled
with God knows what.
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The doctors sure don't.
186
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Good to know.
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00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,571
- Do you think she likes me?
- You're pathetic.
188
00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:35,259
I've done all I can.
189
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:37,636
That's 3-inch glass
that can only be opened
190
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- by the insurance company.
- Bollocks.
191
00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:41,700
Guess we should probably just give up.
192
00:07:41,771 --> 00:07:45,128
Unless... did anyone
bring a hypersonic punch?
193
00:07:45,139 --> 00:07:46,141
Huh? What? Huh?
194
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I guess I did!
195
00:07:49,838 --> 00:07:51,107
You'll want to get behind something.
196
00:07:57,371 --> 00:07:59,381
Is there any practical
difference between
197
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what we just did and blatant crime?
198
00:08:01,307 --> 00:08:03,545
Mm, it's more the attitude.
199
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:04,868
Uh, spl...
200
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,371
Do not say it. I forbid it.
201
00:08:08,314 --> 00:08:10,841
- Sploosh.
- I heard that!
202
00:08:10,852 --> 00:08:14,175
And I am sorry you were privy
to that internal discussion.
203
00:08:14,186 --> 00:08:16,024
We try to keep things lighthearted.
204
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:18,929
Not a problem, though I have
already informed everyone
205
00:08:18,962 --> 00:08:20,733
about the body because
of our stated values
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- of openness and transparency.
- Cheryl!
207
00:08:23,973 --> 00:08:25,810
Go get me some staples, please.
208
00:08:25,843 --> 00:08:27,547
Oh! Wait, you're right.
209
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,654
Those will totally hurt more.
210
00:08:29,665 --> 00:08:31,131
Thank you, Kurt.
211
00:08:31,142 --> 00:08:32,779
I'm glad to hear you did that.
212
00:08:32,790 --> 00:08:34,093
You are?
213
00:08:34,126 --> 00:08:36,130
Obviously, because I'd already scheduled
214
00:08:36,163 --> 00:08:38,502
a town hall where I'll be very happy
215
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,212
to hear everyone's concerns.
216
00:08:40,223 --> 00:08:41,276
Uh-huh.
217
00:08:41,715 --> 00:08:43,501
Does it bother you that Cheryl has
218
00:08:43,512 --> 00:08:45,026
a kebab skewer holster?
219
00:08:45,037 --> 00:08:47,807
Mm, not as much as it should.
220
00:08:50,802 --> 00:08:52,486
All right, you need to
tell us what's going on,
221
00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:53,933
like, now, because...
222
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:56,104
Oh, she's got a little slide show.
223
00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,008
Last week, the Vanguard
stole a sculpture
224
00:08:58,041 --> 00:09:00,780
called the Golden Dragon
from a private collector.
225
00:09:00,813 --> 00:09:02,484
This, the emerald we stole today,
226
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:04,186
was originally one of its eyes.
227
00:09:04,219 --> 00:09:06,558
We steal the second tomorrow
from the National Gallery.
228
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,141
Questions?
229
00:09:08,474 --> 00:09:10,600
Um, feels more like a crime spree.
230
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,704
How does this get us to the Vanguard?
231
00:09:12,715 --> 00:09:15,237
I've chased these guys for years.
They're impenetrable.
232
00:09:15,248 --> 00:09:16,945
The only time they
interact with outsiders
233
00:09:16,978 --> 00:09:18,749
is when they recruit new members.
234
00:09:18,782 --> 00:09:21,606
So we're basically rushing
the Vanguard's fraternity?
235
00:09:21,617 --> 00:09:25,028
No, thanks. My doctor says I
have to cut down on getting paddled,
236
00:09:25,061 --> 00:09:27,933
or I'll develop something
called "dead ass."
237
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,953
What? Sorry my life's cooler than yours.
238
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:33,735
And Interpol is fine with this?
239
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:35,320
- In theory.
- That means no.
240
00:09:35,331 --> 00:09:37,809
Every time I've gotten close
to these guys, they bolt.
241
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,156
We're pretty sure we have a mole,
242
00:09:39,189 --> 00:09:40,593
which is why we hired you guys.
243
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:43,476
Let's all get some rest.
244
00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:46,761
Today you were just back-up,
but tomorrow is the real deal.
245
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,802
So we're turning her
in to the cops, right?
246
00:09:50,813 --> 00:09:52,249
If the French have cops
247
00:09:52,282 --> 00:09:54,521
and not mimes with invisible guns.
248
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:55,757
What are you talking about?
249
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:56,925
Stealing jewels,
250
00:09:56,958 --> 00:09:58,294
pretending there's a mole in Interpol
251
00:09:58,327 --> 00:09:59,731
so we don't contact them.
252
00:09:59,764 --> 00:10:01,602
She's obviously part of Vanguard
253
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,973
and even more obviously
gonna double-cross us.
254
00:10:04,006 --> 00:10:06,678
Okay, and you're sure
you're not just saying that
255
00:10:06,711 --> 00:10:08,749
because you're intimidated by her?
256
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,753
And she is not at all into you?
257
00:10:10,764 --> 00:10:12,568
One, she's obviously into me,
258
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,230
because I can read the subtle
art of reverse body language.
259
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,190
And two, I'm not into her.
260
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,316
You seem pretty worked up, bud.
261
00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,799
Things will look better if
you go have a glass of wine,
262
00:10:22,810 --> 00:10:25,850
meditate, then gaze
down at the Paris streets
263
00:10:25,883 --> 00:10:27,278
while you rub one out.
264
00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:28,878
That's what this gal is gonna do.
265
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,558
I mean, I wasn't gonna do that,
266
00:10:30,569 --> 00:10:32,318
but I think I have new plans.
267
00:10:32,329 --> 00:10:34,408
Yeah, you guys are probably right.
268
00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:36,152
Maybe I am overreacting.
269
00:10:36,304 --> 00:10:37,907
I'll just call it a night.
270
00:10:41,715 --> 00:10:43,251
Misdirection.
271
00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:47,226
God, I hate being right all the time.
272
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:48,829
Wait, no, I don't.
273
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:51,233
It's the best.
274
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,322
Ah, the perfect place to meet up
275
00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:04,961
with your Vanguard buddies.
276
00:11:04,994 --> 00:11:06,932
Mmm, mmm, wow.
277
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:08,441
Mmm, that's pretty good.
278
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,305
You should order that again.
279
00:11:11,675 --> 00:11:13,579
Ah, the perfect place to...
280
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,799
Be backstabbed by your friends!
281
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,169
- You what?
- I said the first part over there.
282
00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:21,081
Come on. We're just hanging out.
283
00:11:21,092 --> 00:11:22,128
Monsieur, une chaise?
284
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,242
Make it two, pal.
285
00:11:23,253 --> 00:11:25,658
Wow, going pretty hard, huh?
286
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:28,074
Oh, you haven't seen me go hard.
287
00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:30,239
I think a lot of ladies
haven't seen you go hard.
288
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:33,017
Also, you just ordered two chairs.
289
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:34,821
Can you please keep it down?
290
00:11:34,854 --> 00:11:36,766
Everybody's looking at us.
291
00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:39,252
Look, Archer, you seemed pretty steamed,
292
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,334
so I figured I'd let you cool off.
293
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,104
But I just want to get
to know you guys better.
294
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,275
Yeah, probably to probe for weaknesses.
295
00:11:45,308 --> 00:11:46,912
Sure it's not about something else?
296
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,292
Yeah, they told me how someone
297
00:11:48,303 --> 00:11:50,742
posing as an Interpol
liaison kidnapped your child.
298
00:11:50,819 --> 00:11:52,122
That must have been really hard.
299
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,557
- Well, I guess it was diff...
- wait a second!
300
00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:57,221
Why are you giving her
information about my family?
301
00:11:57,232 --> 00:11:59,971
And don't try to plumb
my psychological depths,
302
00:11:59,982 --> 00:12:02,755
because I assure you, I don't have any.
303
00:12:02,766 --> 00:12:05,687
Pam, you're in contact with Lana.
What does she think of all this?
304
00:12:05,698 --> 00:12:07,776
Um, I actually turned my phone off
305
00:12:07,787 --> 00:12:08,789
to concentrate on the mission,
306
00:12:08,822 --> 00:12:12,129
because I'm a professional.
307
00:12:12,162 --> 00:12:13,297
Oh, boy.
308
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,039
HR won't respond to our complaints.
309
00:12:17,072 --> 00:12:19,878
All we're asking is a simple
workplace safety question.
310
00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:21,915
How did the body get in the wall?
311
00:12:21,948 --> 00:12:23,051
And how long has it been there?
312
00:12:23,084 --> 00:12:24,253
Glad you asked.
313
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,756
Well, our working theory is
314
00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:27,427
that the person in
question was rehearsing
315
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:30,365
a one-man show of "The
Cask of Amontillado"
316
00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:32,035
that, hmm, got a little out of hand.
317
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:34,306
What? No, that is not what...
318
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:37,665
Or it was someone annoying
we needed to get rid of.
319
00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:38,871
Seriously?
320
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:40,686
For the love of God, Cheryl.
321
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:43,759
Yes, right, for the love of God.
322
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,741
Look, in the spirit of openness,
323
00:12:45,752 --> 00:12:47,989
we don't know how the
body got in the wall.
324
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,600
But you all signed a
non-disclosure agreement
325
00:12:50,611 --> 00:12:52,064
and a declaration that you might see
326
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,412
disturbing things at this job.
327
00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:55,850
So let's all get back to work, okay?
328
00:12:55,861 --> 00:13:00,103
♪ Who wants vegan protein mini muffins ♪
329
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:01,621
- Screw you.
- Ugh.
330
00:13:01,632 --> 00:13:02,997
Come on.
331
00:13:04,232 --> 00:13:06,270
Cyril, I need you to
do a thorough background check
332
00:13:06,303 --> 00:13:08,495
on Interpol agent Zara Khan.
333
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:10,780
- I think she's a mole.
- I'm kind of busy, Archer.
334
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:11,943
Oh, I'm sorry.
335
00:13:11,954 --> 00:13:13,975
Well, in that case, do it anyway!
336
00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:18,832
Damn it, I said get the same one!
337
00:13:18,929 --> 00:13:21,232
Now no one gets it.
338
00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:24,295
So we're really following
this obvious turncoat
339
00:13:24,306 --> 00:13:26,702
into a situation that will
probably get us killed?
340
00:13:26,713 --> 00:13:29,038
And we're really gonna
sit here and listen
341
00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:30,453
to rhetorical questions?
342
00:13:30,486 --> 00:13:31,989
It wasn't rhetorical.
343
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:33,024
Or was it?
344
00:13:33,057 --> 00:13:34,360
Yeah, who's to say?
345
00:13:34,394 --> 00:13:35,963
Look, if you're so worked up about it,
346
00:13:35,996 --> 00:13:37,800
just run a background check on her.
347
00:13:37,811 --> 00:13:39,158
Well, in fact, I did,
348
00:13:39,169 --> 00:13:41,140
and she has a perfect record of arrests
349
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:44,280
on every case she's done,
which is the perfect cover.
350
00:13:44,335 --> 00:13:46,139
I say we kill her.
351
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:47,420
Come on. Let's go.
352
00:13:49,234 --> 00:13:50,871
Sorry, hate to question you,
353
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:53,637
but should we maybe
wait till it's closed?
354
00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:54,984
It is. Private event.
355
00:13:54,995 --> 00:13:56,270
So more security.
356
00:13:56,281 --> 00:13:58,525
Just means more chances for
us to make them look silly.
357
00:13:58,536 --> 00:14:00,708
- Gotta love that moxie.
- I'm a little rusty.
358
00:14:00,719 --> 00:14:02,839
Moxie is French for
"terrible decision," right?
359
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,053
Spoken like a man with moxie.
360
00:14:04,086 --> 00:14:05,456
It's not called moxie in men.
361
00:14:05,489 --> 00:14:07,792
It's called just being a man.
362
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,953
Oh, so it's called "double standard."
363
00:14:09,964 --> 00:14:13,037
Pff, no, you don't call it that.
364
00:14:25,061 --> 00:14:26,609
Man, what a shit show.
365
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,711
Who was this for, Gertrude Ederle?
366
00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:30,473
Because I am swimming in this.
367
00:14:30,506 --> 00:14:32,109
I mean, mine fits great.
368
00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:35,120
- Yours is okay. Mine is amazing.
- I'm sorry, Archer.
369
00:14:35,131 --> 00:14:37,575
I was just going by memory,
and I guess in my mind...
370
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,223
- Here it comes.
- You have a gut.
371
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,138
- You call this a gut?
- Quiet!
372
00:14:41,193 --> 00:14:42,793
And no! Honestly,
373
00:14:42,804 --> 00:14:44,875
it's really impressive
for someone your age.
374
00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:46,156
Ray, Pam,
375
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,869
go to the rotunda and cause a diversion.
376
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,448
- A big one.
- Uh, in front of everybody?
377
00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:53,351
Archer, come with me, and stay close
378
00:14:53,385 --> 00:14:54,854
so I don't double-cross you.
379
00:14:54,865 --> 00:14:56,235
Oh, sure, joke about the thing
380
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,816
you're actually gonna do.
381
00:14:57,827 --> 00:14:59,932
That's convincing everybody.
382
00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:02,246
Uh, looking a little green there, buddy.
383
00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:03,594
I kind of have a thing
about looking silly
384
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:05,241
in front of fancy people.
385
00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:06,411
In high school, I was a waiter
386
00:15:06,444 --> 00:15:08,358
at the nicest restaurant in town,
387
00:15:08,369 --> 00:15:10,240
and it wasn't great.
388
00:15:15,574 --> 00:15:19,784
Boy, you're never gonna
amount to nothing, you stay a fool.
389
00:15:20,439 --> 00:15:22,216
Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
390
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:25,371
That was the nicest restaurant?
391
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,154
Well, it was a small, very shitty town.
392
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:30,002
Well, now you can purge
yourself of your fear.
393
00:15:30,057 --> 00:15:31,561
Embrace the chaos.
394
00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:34,567
Well, whatever this is,
at least it won't be...
395
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,974
the wedding reception of an
archduke and a movie star!
396
00:15:38,007 --> 00:15:39,611
Pam, I can't do this.
397
00:15:39,644 --> 00:15:42,015
Come on. Nobody knows who you are.
398
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,397
Excuse-moi, didn't you win
399
00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:45,923
the bronze medal in the giant slalom?
400
00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:48,666
Sorry, I'm just a giant skiing fan.
401
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,211
My whole table is.
402
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:53,228
Everyone, everyone, look who I just met.
403
00:15:53,351 --> 00:15:55,188
Nope, I'm leaving. Ow!
404
00:15:55,199 --> 00:15:58,236
How dare you speak to me that way!
405
00:15:58,247 --> 00:15:59,316
Come on, hit me.
406
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:00,886
I'm not ruining this wedding.
407
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,390
That's what you think.
408
00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:03,959
You knave!
409
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,551
They're rich, not medieval.
410
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:10,338
Attention! Attention!
411
00:16:10,372 --> 00:16:12,610
All guards to the ballroom.
412
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:15,181
Okay. You can see both exits from here.
413
00:16:15,214 --> 00:16:17,553
- Stay and keep watch.
- Oh, so you can grab the jewel
414
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:19,323
and slip out like the snake you are?
415
00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:20,659
How would a snake grab a jewel?
416
00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,463
With its tongue, obviously.
417
00:16:22,496 --> 00:16:23,955
They're prehensile.
418
00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:26,152
Okay, I still have questions
about how it crawls,
419
00:16:26,163 --> 00:16:27,867
but I'm gonna go grab
this thing instead.
420
00:16:27,878 --> 00:16:29,298
You know nothing about nature,
421
00:16:29,309 --> 00:16:30,579
and I'm coming with.
422
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,984
From here on out, I am attached to you.
423
00:16:32,995 --> 00:16:34,631
Oh, what, like a male anglerfish?
424
00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:36,446
Good reference, but I'm still mad.
425
00:16:36,457 --> 00:16:38,027
Hey, who are you guys?
426
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,109
Oh, hey. I'm Officer Night.
427
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,291
You might be wondering my first name.
428
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,529
Officer? We are not officers.
429
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:45,743
Ooh.
430
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,382
First name, Good. "Good Night."
431
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:50,218
Oh, I don't think he gets it.
432
00:16:50,273 --> 00:16:52,110
Well, smash and grab time.
433
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:55,195
That way! You lead!
434
00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:57,478
There is no way I'm
turning my back on you.
435
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:00,758
I would have gone left.
436
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,244
Ugh! Stop backseat escaping!
437
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,508
I don't care. Get it done!
438
00:17:05,519 --> 00:17:08,435
Yeah, I'm on it. Hold on a sec.
439
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:11,315
Usually HR complaints
don't involve a dead body,
440
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:13,231
a town hall to discuss the dead body,
441
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,981
and then a blatant lie
involving Edgar Allan Poe.
442
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,269
Ouch!
443
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,188
I'm on the goddamn phone!
444
00:17:21,381 --> 00:17:23,951
Oh, sorry, your Archdukeness.
445
00:17:23,962 --> 00:17:25,310
I wouldn't worry about it.
446
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:27,125
It's not like violence
against an archduke
447
00:17:27,158 --> 00:17:28,695
ever led to something bad.
448
00:17:28,728 --> 00:17:30,566
I'll come up with
something for you, Lana.
449
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,269
If I wanted to be a career babysitter,
450
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,006
I would have majored in sociology
451
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:35,822
at a regional community college.
452
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,520
Fucking fix it!
453
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,318
Here you are, Ms. Arch...
454
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,214
Oh, my God, I'm Malory.
455
00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:44,527
- Sorry.
- You know, systems of power...
456
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,665
Go print an invoice.
457
00:17:52,415 --> 00:17:54,614
Huh? Jeezy-petes!
458
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,187
Archer, we weren't hired by Interpol.
459
00:17:58,198 --> 00:17:59,688
There's a zero instead of the "O."
460
00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:00,814
It's a fake!
461
00:18:02,897 --> 00:18:04,539
Interpol didn't hire us.
462
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,438
- You did.
- It's not what you think.
463
00:18:06,449 --> 00:18:08,887
What I think is that
you give me that emerald,
464
00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:12,138
and I take you to the
cops or mimes or whatever.
465
00:18:12,276 --> 00:18:14,381
I'm afraid I can't do that.
466
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,727
I am not cleaning that up.
467
00:18:25,783 --> 00:18:27,735
We're not so different, you and I.
468
00:18:27,746 --> 00:18:30,340
Wait, I know how that
sounds, but seriously.
469
00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:32,013
You're the mole at Interpol.
470
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:34,416
"Intermole."
471
00:18:34,427 --> 00:18:35,856
Damn it, it was right there.
472
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,200
You saw my record.
473
00:18:37,211 --> 00:18:38,591
People at Interpol have been trying
474
00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,806
to sabotage me because
I make them look bad.
475
00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:42,985
So I hired you personally
to catch the Vanguard.
476
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,517
Then why were you buying us all drinks
477
00:18:44,528 --> 00:18:46,532
and trying to find out
personal stuff about us?
478
00:18:46,651 --> 00:18:48,755
Because Interpol is Snore City,
479
00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:50,593
and you guys are fun.
480
00:18:50,648 --> 00:18:51,758
We do kind of rule.
481
00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:53,787
But honestly, the
real reason I hired you
482
00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:55,669
is I just have to win.
483
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,123
And I knew you would come through.
484
00:19:11,975 --> 00:19:13,946
I've got a motorcycle
stashed on the stairwell.
485
00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:16,466
Can I drive down the
stairs on the motorcycle?
486
00:19:16,477 --> 00:19:18,019
If you're okay with
me sitting behind you.
487
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,249
I accept.
488
00:19:20,764 --> 00:19:23,102
Oh, sorry. Uh, reflex.
489
00:19:23,113 --> 00:19:25,050
No, no, no, I get it.
490
00:19:25,127 --> 00:19:26,531
I mean, look at me.
491
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,106
Whoo-hoo-hoo, motorcycle!
492
00:19:31,139 --> 00:19:32,643
Do you have to do that?
493
00:19:32,676 --> 00:19:36,584
Let me answer your question with a whoo!
494
00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:39,791
You know, we make a great team.
495
00:19:39,824 --> 00:19:41,260
Hard to disagree.
496
00:19:43,397 --> 00:19:46,287
I think if we take some time
building up our trust level...
497
00:19:46,298 --> 00:19:48,201
Then you're really gonna hate this.
498
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:49,751
- Decoy!
- Ah!
499
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,793
Okay, now I hate being right.
500
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,273
Excuse me.
Can I have your attention, please?
501
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:02,737
Well, first off,
502
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,774
I want to apologize for yesterday.
503
00:20:04,785 --> 00:20:07,190
I really wish Cyril
wouldn't have gone off script
504
00:20:07,245 --> 00:20:09,484
- and lied to you.
- God damn it.
505
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:11,220
But you should all know
506
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,357
this is a spy organization.
507
00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:15,051
We do dangerous work,
508
00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:18,101
and that means you're gonna
see some crazy-ass shit.
509
00:20:18,192 --> 00:20:21,328
So while I will try to be
as transparent as possible,
510
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:23,144
as transparent as possible
511
00:20:23,177 --> 00:20:24,992
is not gonna be very transparent.
512
00:20:25,003 --> 00:20:26,851
Well, that is not acceptable.
513
00:20:26,884 --> 00:20:28,320
Hold up there, face-nuts.
514
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,669
The boss is talking.
515
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,550
Is this part of your assistant duties?
516
00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,865
The only part of the job I like.
517
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:35,569
And let me tell you.
518
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,896
This will absolutely not
be the most messed-up thing
519
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:40,766
you're gonna see here.
Want to leave? Go ahead.
520
00:20:40,777 --> 00:20:43,206
Want to stay? You just got a 5% raise.
521
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:47,793
Any questions?
522
00:20:47,826 --> 00:20:49,797
Hey, Jim, do you have
those quarterly reports?
523
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:52,335
Wow, Pam sure does know her shit.
524
00:20:52,369 --> 00:20:54,440
Blame Cyril, tough love, raise.
525
00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:56,867
So you still gonna do the glass walls?
526
00:20:56,878 --> 00:20:58,482
Well, you know what they say.
527
00:20:58,493 --> 00:21:02,868
People who live in glass
houses are fucking morons.
528
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:06,587
As soon as she pretended
not to be into me, I knew.
529
00:21:06,664 --> 00:21:08,535
Traitor, god damn it.
530
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,472
These apologies from Pam and Ray
531
00:21:10,505 --> 00:21:15,281
better be absolutely abject
360-degree tongue baths.
532
00:21:16,327 --> 00:21:17,842
Hey, you made it.
533
00:21:17,853 --> 00:21:19,624
- I knew you would.
- What... how...
534
00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:21,327
- what the...
- It was the only move.
535
00:21:21,338 --> 00:21:23,720
No time to explain, but we do need
536
00:21:23,731 --> 00:21:25,234
to introduce you to someone.
537
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,771
This is Pavle.
538
00:21:26,804 --> 00:21:29,911
Yeah, he's apparently
with some sort of group
539
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,193
called, like, I want
to say the Vanguard.
540
00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:34,720
- Did I get that right?
- And he wants to talk to us
541
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:36,267
about maybe joining up.
542
00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:40,085
And I think we, us thieves,
should hear him out.
543
00:21:40,191 --> 00:21:41,595
Oh, well, hello.
544
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,638
Whoa!
545
00:21:43,671 --> 00:21:44,907
Ah!
546
00:21:48,615 --> 00:21:50,317
Hi.
547
00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:05,042
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
548
00:22:11,326 --> 00:22:14,265
Made in Georgia.
39522
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