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1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,546
[??????]
2
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,426
Hey.
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,718
Timmy, I got a little invite
4
00:00:10,718 --> 00:00:12,970
to a shindig
in the Hamptons tomorrow.
5
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:13,680
Be ready to leave at noon.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,100
And don't wear that jacket that
makes you look like a terrorist.
7
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:21,104
Both personally hurtful
and politically incorrect, sir.
8
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,814
Well done.
9
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,108
However, I can't make it.
10
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,276
Uh, why?
11
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,320
I'm doing volunteer work
tomorrow.
12
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,780
Oh, you gotta make up for
a little
13
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:34,284
drinky-drinky, swervy-swervy?
14
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:34,909
No.
15
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:38,746
Oh, did you proposition
an undercover cop?
16
00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:39,622
No.
17
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:42,750
Oh, it wasn't a cop?
How was she?
18
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:45,712
There was no prostitute.
19
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,340
I'm volunteering
for an organization
20
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,468
that revitalizes empty lots
and turns them into parks.
21
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,678
I've even been successful
in signing up
22
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,472
a few recruits from the office,
sir.
23
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,265
Okay, now I get
why you're doing this.
24
00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,185
Trying to dip your pen
in the company sluts.
25
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:04,606
What started as a metaphor
ended in tragedy.
26
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,650
Wait a second.
This one's married.
27
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,194
This one's a lesbian.
28
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,113
This one's quick with the mace.
29
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,781
All right, fess up,
what's in it for you?
30
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,032
I don't follow, sir.
31
00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:18,120
Anyone who does any work
with a charity has an angle.
32
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,830
My mom did it to get into
the right parties.
33
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,250
My dad did it to look
like a big man,
34
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,001
even though all he did
was write a check.
35
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:30,548
My Uncle Glen did it until Child
Services shut down his camp.
36
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,299
Um...
37
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:34,636
Well, I only volunteer because
it makes me feel good, sir.
38
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,347
Oh, is that the way
you wanna play it?
39
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,014
Tell you what.
40
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,975
I'm gonna find out
why you're really doing this.
41
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,394
Super use of your time, sir.
42
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,771
Now,
if you'll excuse me...
43
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,772
Hey, whoa, whoa.
44
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,565
I'll, uh, hang on to this.
45
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,152
Why?
Are you going to sign up, sir?
46
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:50,527
No.
47
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,155
Just wanna get big ol' lesbian
Shirley's home number.
48
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,449
She's growing her hair out,
I think she's coming around.
49
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,451
[SE�OR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
50
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:02,955
?? How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ??
51
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:08,836
?? How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ??
52
00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:11,256
?? With you by my side ??
53
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,383
?? There is no denyin' ??
54
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:18,180
?? I can't wait
For me and you ??
55
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,061
[??????]
56
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,021
So then I sat down
and he said,
57
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,150
"Wow, the picture on your
profile page is way different."
58
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,944
I said, "What do you mean?"
though I knew what he meant
59
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,905
because I used a blurry picture
of Kim Kardashian
60
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:36,656
I found on the Internet.
61
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,284
So you're not using
the blurry picture
62
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,952
of Penelope Cruz anymore?
63
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,620
No.
64
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,540
So then I'm in the middle
of telling him
65
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,749
how cool
my new tap class is,
66
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:50,044
when he remembers that he's
gotta go pick his sister up
67
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,713
from the airport
and he's gotta go.
68
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:56,884
Well, pfft, you don't want a guy
that forgetful anyway.
69
00:02:56,884 --> 00:03:00,972
Ugh, the Mets suck.
70
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,600
Jeff, we are at dinner,
with Liz.
71
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,436
Don't blame me,
blame the Mets bullpen.
72
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,731
You shouldn't be checking the
baseball scores at the table.
73
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,318
You're right.
There's a TV in the bar.
74
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:17,697
FYI, I counted my shrimp.
75
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:24,496
Anyway... Oh, what about that
guy that Lisa set you up with?
76
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,080
Oh, I called him
for a second date
77
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,083
and he told me he was moving
to Canada the next day.
78
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:32,211
Well, that's just bad timing.
79
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,636
I bet Jeff
didn't really count these.
80
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,268
I just have the worst luck.
81
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:52,399
Did you know I haven't slept
with a man in almost a year?
82
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,609
Well,
I have and let me tell you,
83
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,610
you're not missing much.
84
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,531
I'm starting to think no one
will ever sleep with me again.
85
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,449
Oh, Liz, no, that's not true.
86
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,744
No? Then name one person
who would want me.
87
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,746
I don't know, specifically,
but, uh--
88
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,791
You don't have to do that,
it's hopeless.
89
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,084
I just feel so alone.
90
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:15,713
Oh. Uh...
91
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,674
Jeff.
92
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:19,634
Huh?
93
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,387
Jeff would totally
sleep with you.
94
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,013
What?
95
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,891
I probably shouldn't be
telling you this,
96
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:31,396
but you know
how married people sometimes--
97
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,189
No.
98
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,983
Right.
Well, sometimes married people
99
00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:38,820
play that game where you
make a list, you know,
100
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,029
of who you'd have sex with if
101
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,614
something happened
to the other one.
102
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:45,159
And it just so happens
you're on Jeff's list.
103
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,953
Come on.
104
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:47,870
No, I'm serious.
105
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,915
You're in the top five. Ha.
106
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,587
Wow,
Jeff finds me attractive.
107
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:59,048
That makes me feel
so good.
108
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,801
But Audrey,
I would never do anything--
109
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,680
Oh, no, no, of course.
I mean, I have to, but--
110
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,391
[BOTH LAUGH]
111
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,852
[??????]
112
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,439
Oh.
113
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,399
Oh, God.
114
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,317
Oh.
115
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,901
Adam,
I am not enjoying this.
116
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:23,239
It's like the soundtrack
to their sex life.
117
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,617
You're so inconsiderate.
118
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,660
He knows I'm trying
to lose a few pounds.
119
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:31,664
Good. Maybe I can get a little
more room on the bench.
120
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,250
What?
I'm sneakin' a cheek over here.
121
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,962
Sorry, I can't help it,
these waffles are so good.
122
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:38,713
Jeff, here, taste this.
123
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,923
I can't,
I'm allergic to strawberries.
124
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,718
My head swells up
like a bounce house.
125
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,178
Uh-oh,
call the hospital.
126
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,764
It already happened.
127
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,849
[CHUCKLING]
128
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,559
Come on,
you guys used to be fun.
129
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,396
What happened
to the laughter?
130
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,355
Jen, you don't need
to lose weight.
131
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,065
That's what I told her.
No, I do.
132
00:05:58,065 --> 00:05:59,817
I went to try on wedding dresses
this week
133
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:03,362
and when they would fasten them
up the fat on the top of my back
134
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:06,741
would pinch together.
Like a butt.
135
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,284
Like a back butt.
136
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:12,038
Oh, no. My cousin Wanda had one
of those at her wedding.
137
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,873
Wanda the Hutt.
138
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,458
See? You have to be
supportive of me.
139
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,585
It'd be easier
if you weren't being crazy.
140
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:20,254
You think you need to lose
weight, which you don't,
141
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,882
then I suffer
because you won't let me keep
142
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,009
my treats in the house.
143
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,011
He calls them treats?
144
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,722
Yeah, I've got some work to do
before the wedding.
145
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,600
Hey, you made reservations
to Walden's Steakhouse
146
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,101
for tomorrow, right?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
147
00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:37,271
And, um, sorry, but it turns out
it's gonna be a double date.
148
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,858
Don't be mad at me, but Liz
met someone on the Internet.
149
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,360
Oh, damn it.
150
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,612
Is this Liz,
your old boss?
151
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,114
Whose tap recital
you had to go to?
152
00:06:47,114 --> 00:06:47,740
Yes.
153
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,576
You know,
I thought there would be
154
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,454
at least
one other adult in it.
155
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,747
I invited her
because I thought she'd be
156
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,123
more comfortable
with us there.
157
00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:58,334
She knows it's gonna take
all three of us
158
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:01,128
to keep him
from running away.
159
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:03,673
[??????]
160
00:07:05,132 --> 00:07:08,970
Do, uh, you and Jen ever do
any charity work?
161
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,179
Oh, sometimes.
162
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,849
Uh, just last night Jen
did some charity work,
163
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,684
if you know what I mean.
164
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,520
You're referring to yourself
as charity?
165
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,230
Oh, yeah.
166
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,148
Oh, wait, no.
167
00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:22,734
Heh-heh.
Too late. You did.
168
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,194
I just texted Jeff.
169
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,155
So, what's going on over there?
170
00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:29,574
Jen is on this crazy diet.
171
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,285
And last night
she ate some of my treats--
172
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,497
I mean, my adult snacks.
173
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,207
--and then she got mad at
herself and threw the rest out.
174
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:41,794
So I'm putting a lock on this
cabinet so she can't get to it.
175
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:46,090
Heh. Congratulations.
You're engaged to a bear.
176
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,342
Ah.
Hey.
177
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,343
RUSSELL:
Hey, Jen.
178
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,887
Hey, let me ask you a question.
179
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,556
Do you ever do any, uh,
charity work?
180
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,517
Does talking to you right now
count?
181
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,769
You know, I don't know why
I even come over here.
182
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,730
Well, it's certainly not
in response to an invitation.
183
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,817
All right, that's it,
I can take a hint.
184
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,236
You guys wanna order Chinese?
185
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,155
Oh, yeah, I'd love to.
186
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,615
No. Too fattening.
187
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,617
Not if you don't eat it.
188
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:16,453
Oh, I think I poked the bear.
189
00:08:16,453 --> 00:08:18,080
What's this?
190
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,375
I locked up the junk food so you
wouldn't be tempted to eat it.
191
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,045
Seems pretty drastic,
but really not necessary.
192
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,255
I've got all the healthy snacks
I need.
193
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,801
Rice cakes, carrots, tofu...
194
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,052
Hey,
is that a Kit Kat wrapper?
195
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,639
Oh. I can't believe
someone threw that in there.
196
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:39,435
Whoa,
you killed a king-size.
197
00:08:40,227 --> 00:08:42,939
Ooh, don't show fear.
198
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:48,402
Just make yourself seem bigger
and back away.
199
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,073
[??????]
200
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,618
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
201
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,285
Hello?
202
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,412
AUDREY:
Hey, it's me. You there yet?
203
00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,413
Yeah, I'm having a drink.
204
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,457
Listen,
I just got a text from Liz.
205
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,291
Her date cancelled on her.
206
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:05,169
Oh, let me guess, he found
that video of her on YouTube
207
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:08,214
tap dancing
to "It's Raining Men."
208
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:12,093
I don't know the reason. Listen,
I just got called into work,
209
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,344
it should only be
a few minutes.
210
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,013
I'll be there soon.
You and Liz start without me.
211
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:19,058
Me and Liz alone?
I don't think so.
212
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,310
I don't need my steak
marinated in tears.
213
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:24,606
And I don't have the strength
to defend my shrimp alone.
214
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:30,486
Look, I'm just gonna walk around
the block until you get--
215
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,489
Hey, Liz.
216
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,157
[COUGHS]
Get here.
217
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,619
[??????]
218
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,539
[??????]
219
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,168
Timmy!
220
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,254
[SIGHS]
221
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,546
Oh, dear.
222
00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:50,757
Why, sir? Why?
223
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,802
Still trying to find out
what your angle is, buddy.
224
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,303
Oh, there we go, free food.
225
00:09:56,303 --> 00:10:00,767
Ah, yes, because how else would
I acquire a limp deli sandwich?
226
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,103
Hey, where are the rest
of the hoes?
227
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,562
They're back in the van.
228
00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:07,607
Aha, that's it!
229
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,317
Party van full of ho's.
230
00:10:10,317 --> 00:10:11,819
Not your kind of ho, sir.
231
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,780
This kind.
232
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,321
Oh.
233
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:17,449
Most disappointing homonym ever.
234
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:18,701
So you, uh...
235
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:22,413
You really get a good feeling
from doing this stuff?
236
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,539
Yes, I do, sir.
237
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,457
I wanna feel good too.
238
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:26,751
Seriously?
239
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,669
Yeah.
Okay, then.
240
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,046
Right on, sir.
There you go.
241
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,380
All right!
242
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,382
How does it work?
243
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,843
[??????]
244
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,306
[GROANS]
245
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,725
Whoo.
246
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,143
TIMMY:
Sir?
247
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,770
Yeah?
248
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,439
[??????]
249
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,275
Timmy! Timmy!
250
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,276
What is it?
251
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,570
Sir, it's a blister.
252
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,324
Is there a cure?
253
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,785
[??????]
254
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:05,331
I'll have the New York strip,
rare,
255
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,833
with the truffle butter.
256
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,085
Great choice, sir.
257
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:09,919
Oh.
258
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:13,255
I really don't like meat.
259
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,800
This is hard for me.
260
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:20,054
It's hard for all of us.
261
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,306
I'll come back.
Can I get you another?
262
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,559
Never stop
getting me another.
263
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,856
Well, at least I can
eat whatever I want.
264
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,233
Don't have to worry
about impressing a date.
265
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,651
Yeah, I'm sorry
that he cancelled.
266
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:37,321
But gall bladders burst.
267
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,073
Very common.
268
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:42,118
I know four men this year.
269
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:46,163
Normally I'd be bummed, but
I'm feeling pretty good lately,
270
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,415
and, well, I have you to thank.
271
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:50,251
Ah. What'd I do?
272
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:53,004
Heh. I don't know
if she mentioned anything,
273
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,089
but Audrey told me
about your list.
274
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:58,175
Favorite quarterbacks,
microbrews,
275
00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,385
what list
are we talking about?
276
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:04,181
Your list of who you'd sleep
with if Audrey wasn't around.
277
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:08,477
Oh, yeah,
that's a good one.
278
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:10,813
I know.
279
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,441
And I'm flattered
to be on it. Ha-ha.
280
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,118
On what?
281
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,621
You don't have to be
embarrassed.
282
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,541
Audrey told me
I was in the top five.
283
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,586
Did she?
284
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:37,548
I bring it up
because I'd like to know
285
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,217
what qualities I should
highlight on future dates.
286
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:46,557
So, what is it about me exactly
that you are so attracted to?
287
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,351
Jeff?
Yeah, I'm thinking.
288
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,604
It's just a toughie.
It's really tough,
289
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:54,565
you know, to narrow it down.
290
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,067
I...
291
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,028
like the way that you...
292
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,613
wear your stretch pants.
293
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,117
Oh, you can do better
than that.
294
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:08,037
I'm not sure that I can.
295
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,790
Maybe you like my breasts?
296
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,334
Oh.
297
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,878
Wanna know a secret
about my breasts?
298
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,047
No.
299
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,884
One's longer than the other.
300
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,515
[??????]
301
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,062
What happened?
302
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,981
I smelled donuts.
303
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,192
No, but--
But I hid the screwdriver.
304
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,278
I used my hands.
305
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,698
My God, you are a bear.
306
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,159
[??????]
307
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,828
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE]
308
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,213
You're really
going to town there.
309
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:03,885
So that's before you got
the special bra, huh?
310
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,180
That's why I got it.
311
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,183
All right then.
312
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,060
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
313
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:16,355
Oh, it's Audrey.
Excuse me.
314
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,649
Thank God. Where are you?
315
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:22,028
Jeff, I'm so sorry.
I'm not gonna make it.
316
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:22,444
What?
317
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:26,448
We have to rebuild the whole
issue tonight. There's no way.
318
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,742
Quit your job.
319
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,702
What?
Quit your job,
320
00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:34,999
and start pursuing your dream
of getting me out of here.
321
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,708
Yeah, sorry.
322
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:39,962
Hey, listen, I--
I doubt this will come up,
323
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,381
but the other day
Liz was so down
324
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,800
I-I sort of,
kind of told her--
325
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,803
I wanted to sleep with her.
It came up.
326
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:51,057
Jeff,
please do not hurt her feelings.
327
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:51,723
Her feelings?
328
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,267
How do you think
Danica Patrick feels
329
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:57,271
knowing she got bumped off
my list for Miss Long-Boob here?
330
00:14:57,271 --> 00:15:00,482
She told you about that?
331
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,277
You know she showed me once.
332
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,656
It looks like a sock
full of sand.
333
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,914
Anyway, babe, I'm really sorry.
I gotta go.
334
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,248
No.
Sorry.
335
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,917
No.
336
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:25,074
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com
337
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,803
[??????]
338
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,514
RUSSELL:
Timmy.
339
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,060
It's not working.
340
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,729
What's not working, sir,
besides you?
341
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,856
That good feeling
you promised me.
342
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,108
Where is it? I want it.
343
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:45,402
Hey, Timir.
The wood chips came in.
344
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,738
We can start filling
in the playground.
345
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:48,655
Be there in a second.
346
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:51,367
Hey,
what did he just call you?
347
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,661
Timir. It's my Indian name.
I prefer Timmy.
348
00:15:54,661 --> 00:15:56,580
I'm sure you do, Timir.
349
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,124
Ha-ha! Hey, Timir,
350
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,584
I'm starting to get
that good feeling.
351
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,254
It's a Timir-acle.
352
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:03,879
You finished, sir?
353
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:09,093
Au contraire,
I'm Timir-ly getting started.
354
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,552
Aw, come here, Timir.
355
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:13,597
I didn't even try
on that one!
356
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:18,727
Sir, no matter how much
you ridicule me,
357
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,936
you cannot take away the pride,
358
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:22,856
the sense of accomplishment
I will feel every day
359
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:23,899
when I walk by this park.
360
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,152
And that is a feeling
you will never have.
361
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:29,196
I feel sorry for you,
Russell Dunbar.
362
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,657
I really do.
363
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,994
Hey,
that guy's name is Timir.
364
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,579
So?
365
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:39,290
Seemed funny.
366
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,583
[??????]
367
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,295
Jeff, I could really use
your insight here.
368
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:49,050
When did it occur to you that
you wanted to make love to me?
369
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,679
I don't remember.
370
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:58,017
Was it the time I was over
showing off the shimmer unitard
371
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,060
I wore for my tap recital?
372
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:02,813
I think it's safe to say
it was another time.
373
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,483
Here's your strawberry daiquiri.
Mm, yummy!
374
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,610
Is there anything else
I can get for you?
375
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,487
You know,
I think we will order
376
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,905
that chocolate souffl�
after all.
377
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,366
Just a reminder, it'll take
45 minutes to prepare.
378
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,786
No, no. Look, we need something
that's ready right now.
379
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,123
Don't listen to him.
He's just being silly.
380
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,668
Okay,
one souffle coming up.
381
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,547
Want a taste?
382
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,799
Uh, no. No strawberries.
383
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,552
Okay, well,
since we have more time,
384
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,513
let me ask:
if it wasn't my unitard
385
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,932
that caught your eye,
what was it?
386
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,142
And be specific.
387
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,853
Look,
I really don't remember.
388
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:46,565
Oh, was it the time
I split my bike shorts
389
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,318
and you could see everything?
390
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,450
Give me that.
391
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,579
I can't believe you.
392
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,082
You--
You could have died.
393
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,959
Worth it.
394
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,253
Well, I am proud of you
395
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,463
for not saying anything
to hurt her feelings.
396
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,590
Yeah, if you think about it
I'm kind of a hero.
397
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,385
I wouldn't go that far,
but I guess I do owe you one.
398
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:19,473
I have some thoughts on exactly
how you might repay me.
399
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,226
Oh, really? Here?
400
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:27,314
I spent six minutes
watching her tap dance video.
401
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,775
Yeah, here.
402
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,446
[??????]
403
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,615
Hey.
404
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,866
Oh, why are you here, sir?
405
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,827
Did you realize that "Timir"
rhymes with "queer"?
406
00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:44,415
No, but that's extremely
excellent. Ha-ha!
407
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,709
No, uh, I'm here
for the park dedication.
408
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:50,629
Really? And why is that?
Well, because I was wrong.
409
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,506
You did a decent
and charitable thing
410
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,133
without
any selfish motivation.
411
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,385
I think I understand
what a good feeling
412
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,262
that gives a person.
Really?
413
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,471
Well,
if that's the case,
414
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,140
you too can experience
this feeling.
415
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,600
It means a long term commitment,
hours of hard work.
416
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,937
Yeah, that's not really my
thing, so I'm gonna get it now.
417
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,316
Chief,
let's light this candle.
418
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,320
Welcome, everyone.
419
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,698
Right now I'd like to introduce
you to a great man,
420
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:21,452
whose generous donation
of $20,000
421
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,579
made all of this possible.
422
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,622
No. No, you didn't.
423
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,417
I kinda did.
424
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:31,878
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Russell Dunbar.
425
00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:33,214
Oh, thank you.
426
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:36,091
Oh, that's nice.
I appreciate it. That's great.
427
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,719
That's enough. That's enough.
428
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,722
Twenty thousand is a lot.
429
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,681
Thank you.
430
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,516
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
431
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,977
Mr. Dunbar,
would you do us the honor?
432
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:47,728
Oh, okay.
433
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,856
Look at that. Hey, that's me!
434
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,483
MAN:
Can we get a picture?
435
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,861
Oh, wait. This isn't right.
436
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,320
Timmy?
437
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,739
Yes, sir?
Can you hand me that hoe?
438
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,366
[SIGHS]
439
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,202
Oh, come here, Timir.
440
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,160
[ALL LAUGHING]
441
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,078
That's funny, right?
442
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:10,166
Hey, what say we get the other
kind of hoes down here, huh?
443
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:13,212
Ha-ha. Huh?
Who's with me, huh?
444
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,713
No one?
445
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,465
[??????]
446
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,511
So how's Jennifer's
diet coming?
447
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,346
Not good.
This morning I caught her
448
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,516
eating hot chocolate powder
with butter.
449
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,727
Well, I can't take it anymore
so I came up with a plan.
450
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,604
Uh-oh. This'll be good.
451
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,689
See, I adjusted the scale ahead
six pounds
452
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,859
so she'll think she lost weight
even though she hasn't.
453
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,695
You mean you adjusted it
back six pounds.
454
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,657
No, it's forward, 'cause--
455
00:20:44,951 --> 00:20:46,578
Oh, no.
456
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,914
[SOBBING]
457
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,378
[??????]
458
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,382
[??????]
459
00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:59,919
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460
00:21:59,969 --> 00:22:04,519
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