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1
00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:41,419
Oh, I am glad we came.
2
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,139
Aren't you glad we came out?
3
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:51,480
Me? I'm just looking back at
the old days when there used to be
such a thing as oxygen.
4
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,200
Come along you, we're nearly there.
5
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:57,199
Nearly where? There's nowt up here.
6
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:03,340
Oh... oh, don't tell me we've come
all this way and God's not in.
7
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:09,880
That's the whole point, isn't it?
The challenge of the lonely peaks.
8
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,920
I hope I live long enough to see
my ferret go up your trouser leg.
9
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:21,420
Look...
Look at Clegg gazing thoughtfully,
10
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,059
seized already
by the drama of the hills.
11
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:31,560
Actually, I was wondering,
if I took my second pullover off,
would I get a chill?
12
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,980
I have never seen
such a pair of civilians!
13
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:40,739
Does he know how far we've come?
14
00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:43,059
'Course I know how far we've come.
15
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:47,000
I'm not exactly a novice
at map reading, you know.
16
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:08,620
Did you see how I did that?
You know, that Paratrooper's Roll.
17
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:15,260
Catlike on the balls of the feet,
knees bent to absorb the shock.
18
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:19,739
And over you go, instinctively,
into this Paratrooper's Roll.
19
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,200
After a while,
it becomes second nature, you know.
20
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:29,519
Did tha' do a lot of parachuting?
As Corporal Signwriter?
21
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:35,640
Well... er... like most of us there,
I don't enjoy talking about it.
22
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:43,180
As a matter of fact,
as a military necessity,
they asked us not to talk about it.
23
00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:52,200
When people's lives depend upon
you keeping silent, it becomes
a habit difficult to break.
24
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:57,179
Which is why you may have
seen me sometimes.
25
00:02:57,180 --> 00:03:01,180
I'll be in a crowded room
and yet - remote.
26
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:08,979
The jaw set firmly.
Lips tightly sealed.
Not really being standoffish,
27
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:13,360
just the... well,
just the loneliness of the warrior.
28
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:19,080
Bowed a little under the weight
of his terrible knowledge.
29
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:24,499
Forever... separated from
fellow human beings.
30
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:29,899
Well, stuff me. We always thought
tha were just hanging back
31
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:32,599
in case tha had to buy a round.
32
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,920
It must be a lonely life.
The Way of the Samurai.
33
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,360
Well, one gets used to it.
Just don't ask me to talk about it.
34
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,280
Don't ever ask me to talk about it.
35
00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:54,480
Are you listening? Don't ask me.
36
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:57,339
Understood, Foggy.
37
00:03:57,340 --> 00:04:00,040
We won't ever ask thee
to talk about it.
38
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,659
I never was one for bragging.
39
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:13,379
You win a chestful of medals,
but you don't go swaggering about.
You put them away in a drawer.
40
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,479
I don't even know which drawer.
41
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,179
Top left on your dressing table.
How do you know?
42
00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:20,280
You showed us.
43
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:27,419
You must have asked.
I do oblige if people show
a genuine interest.
44
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:32,359
It's a good job someone round here
has military qualities.
45
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,699
Where would you two be then?
46
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,020
In bed.
47
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:41,419
Do you two just want to stay
bone idle?
48
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:46,459
Look, next time kindly ask us
that at the bottom of the hill.
49
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,760
I despair sometimes... I really do.
50
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,279
If it wasn't for my drive,
you'd never see places like this.
51
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,380
Oh, dear! Just imagine!
52
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,640
BOTH: Never see places like this!
53
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:09,139
I try to give you
an interest in life.
54
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:11,960
I've got an interest.
This one's legal.
55
00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:16,440
These things don't just happen.
56
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:24,840
You see, people have to go
to endless trouble -
planning, logistics, timing.
57
00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:30,920
Then when I do find you somewhere
with its own lonely beauty...
58
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:37,340
Unfrequented. Away from
everyday noise, rush and bustle...
59
00:05:55,196 --> 00:05:59,756
Them track bikes
weren't half moving though.
I'd like to have a crack at that.
60
00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:05,216
Funny you should say that.
61
00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:11,295
What's funny about that, Norm?
62
00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:13,455
I think it's funny.
You on a track bike.
63
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:19,496
Yes, as he is now,
scruffy little Herbert,
he needs a new image.
64
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,255
A new image?
65
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,415
Don't you want to be big
with Nora Batty?
66
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:28,135
Oh yes, I do,
I want to be big with Nora Batty.
67
00:06:28,136 --> 00:06:33,256
Would she be able to resist...
the Phantom?
68
00:06:36,236 --> 00:06:38,435
What's this Phantom have to do?
69
00:06:38,436 --> 00:06:42,115
Nothing, he just has to be...
magnificent.
70
00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:46,375
Magnificent?
Oh well, I can handle that.
71
00:06:46,376 --> 00:06:47,816
Are you sure?
72
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,855
How fast is magnificent?
73
00:06:50,856 --> 00:06:53,715
Oh, it's not a question of speed.
74
00:06:53,716 --> 00:06:58,115
Well then, it's no bother, is it?
75
00:06:58,116 --> 00:07:03,435
I can be slow and magnificent.
I'm in with a chance with that.
76
00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:05,575
It's presenting the right image.
77
00:07:05,576 --> 00:07:08,095
That's it. No bother.
78
00:07:08,096 --> 00:07:14,016
You have to look cool,
suave... and fearless.
79
00:07:16,876 --> 00:07:21,575
Why did he have to mention
"fearless", Norm?
80
00:07:21,576 --> 00:07:23,755
You were OK with cool and suave?!
81
00:07:23,756 --> 00:07:26,235
No bother. Just fearless.
82
00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:29,755
You don't have to BE fearless,
just LOOK it.
83
00:07:29,756 --> 00:07:35,675
Oh, that's it, then.
Put me down for fearless!
84
00:07:35,676 --> 00:07:38,375
Are you sure about this?
He knows what he's doing.
85
00:07:38,376 --> 00:07:40,755
I'm improving his image. Yes.
86
00:07:40,756 --> 00:07:44,455
God knows he needs it.
God knows I need it.
87
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:49,356
All we need now for the Phantom
is an impressive mount.
88
00:07:51,236 --> 00:07:55,055
Look at this mess!
I thought I told you to clear up!
89
00:07:55,056 --> 00:07:57,375
I thought I had cleaned it up.
90
00:07:57,376 --> 00:08:01,255
I wonder why men are born useless.
91
00:08:01,256 --> 00:08:04,855
What evolutionary advantage is there
92
00:08:04,856 --> 00:08:10,535
in having one half
of an entire species programmed
to behave like a duck egg?
93
00:08:10,536 --> 00:08:12,615
Hey up, Crusher!
94
00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:18,096
I'll be with you in a minute,
when I've finished this rollicking.
95
00:08:20,936 --> 00:08:22,815
That lad'll be a bundle of nerves.
96
00:08:22,816 --> 00:08:26,395
Her bark is worse than her bite.
97
00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:29,595
Mind you, with a bark like that,
who needs a bite?
98
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:35,335
Crusher, I bet tha enjoys working
for thy Aunty Ivy, eh?
99
00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:38,395
Oh aye, I'm really enjoying working
for Aunty Ivy.
100
00:08:38,396 --> 00:08:45,596
Me mam said I would.
"You'll really enjoy working for
your Aunty Ivy", she said.
101
00:08:47,876 --> 00:08:50,436
DOWN, IVY! DOWN! GET DOWN! IVY!
102
00:08:52,296 --> 00:08:54,235
Take it easy with this lad here.
103
00:08:54,236 --> 00:08:59,496
Easy? They took it easy with you,
and look what happened!
104
00:09:04,516 --> 00:09:07,656
Will you let her to talk like that
to the Phantom?
105
00:09:11,716 --> 00:09:15,776
Am I going to allow her to speak
like that to the Phantom, Norm?
106
00:09:17,576 --> 00:09:19,395
Might not be a bad idea.
107
00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:21,016
I think tha's right.
108
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:37,735
Milburn... ours is a difficult way
to earn a living.
109
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:41,075
You've entered an unsmooth path
of life.
110
00:09:41,076 --> 00:09:47,495
The fast food industry is bedevilled
with every snag -
from excessive competition
111
00:09:47,496 --> 00:09:54,375
to creepy crawlies that sneak
on to people's plates.
112
00:09:54,376 --> 00:10:00,015
But of all the hazards
in the catering industry here,
113
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:05,215
the one I would warn you against
most strongly,
114
00:10:05,216 --> 00:10:08,875
is that dozy lot who just left
in a guilty hurry.
115
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:14,155
They're not wicked,
they're not even bad.
116
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:19,116
Only one third of them
is unhygienic.
117
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:22,835
But what they are
118
00:10:22,836 --> 00:10:26,715
is irr-esp-onsible.
119
00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:28,815
What are they, Milburn?
120
00:10:28,816 --> 00:10:31,535
- Irre...
- Irre...
121
00:10:31,536 --> 00:10:33,855
sponsible.
122
00:10:33,856 --> 00:10:37,475
Yes, that's it, that's right.
123
00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:42,216
It's not their fault entirely.
They've got something vital missing.
124
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:47,995
Apart from the obvious gap up here,
125
00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:52,555
they've got no women in their lives.
126
00:10:52,556 --> 00:10:55,635
There's no-one to exercise
a steadying influence.
127
00:10:55,636 --> 00:10:57,575
So naturally, as a consequence,
128
00:10:57,576 --> 00:11:02,955
they've become the three
biggest barmpots in the country.
129
00:11:02,956 --> 00:11:08,116
So try and ignore them, Milburn,
it's not easy, I know. But try.
130
00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:18,016
Milburn, is anything
bothering you?
131
00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:23,676
How long do
I have to wear this frock?
132
00:11:24,296 --> 00:11:29,415
It's NOT a FROCK!!
It's a catering overall!!
133
00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:33,775
Couldn't I wear my racing leathers?
Ooh, I look GREAT in those.
134
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:37,316
No, I can't...
I can't wear my racing leathers.
135
00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:52,416
That thing is supposed
to improve my image?!
136
00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:57,355
Look what Bluebird did
for Malcolm Campbell.
137
00:11:57,356 --> 00:12:01,255
Bluebird?
That looks like a plucked chicken.
138
00:12:01,256 --> 00:12:06,355
Gratitude, gratitude.
Listen, Little Uncomely Person...
139
00:12:06,356 --> 00:12:08,875
Norm, what's he mean "uncomely"?
140
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:12,316
It means you don't always come
when you're wanted.
141
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:17,136
That's very true.
I'm always uncomely.
142
00:12:18,596 --> 00:12:25,476
I won't listen to complaints about
my machine from anybody whose idea
of streamlined is Nora Batty.
143
00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:29,595
It doesn't even LOOK like
an off-the-road bike.
144
00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:31,876
Well, it IS off the road.
145
00:12:36,396 --> 00:12:40,196
It's pathetic...
No, no, it's not pathetic.
146
00:12:42,036 --> 00:12:44,115
It's very nearly pathetic.
147
00:12:44,116 --> 00:12:47,915
You are seeing her at her worst.
148
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:52,235
Yes, I think we can agree on that.
149
00:12:52,236 --> 00:12:56,875
But you are making no allowance
for the final polish.
150
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:01,195
True. We're making no allowance
for the final polish.
151
00:13:01,196 --> 00:13:07,315
I shalln't turn her out like that.
Oh, I am glad about that!
152
00:13:07,316 --> 00:13:09,835
I really am glad about that!
153
00:13:09,836 --> 00:13:17,295
She'll have a lovely coat
of black paint and he'll be
in colourful racing leathers.
154
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,315
Where will I get
colourful racing leathers?
155
00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:22,395
Don't ask, I shouldn't even ask.
156
00:13:22,396 --> 00:13:29,256
Just leave it to me.
I promised to supercool your image
and supercool it I shall.
157
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:36,195
Hey, Norm,
me in colourful racing leathers!
158
00:13:36,196 --> 00:13:37,455
On both feet?
159
00:13:37,456 --> 00:13:40,875
Oh no, they go over like
one piece pyjamas.
160
00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:45,575
My pyjamas don't go all over.
My pyjamas never go anywhere.
161
00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:50,675
Imagine you, eh!
You in colourful racing pyjamas!
162
00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:52,795
Yeah. Brmm, brmm!
163
00:13:52,796 --> 00:13:56,575
And a helmet with a device on it.
164
00:13:56,576 --> 00:14:02,976
What sort of a device? Your badge,
your logo, your racing trademark.
Something special to you.
165
00:14:04,036 --> 00:14:07,795
A winged ferret. A winged ferret!
166
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:12,836
We'll find you something suitable,
Little Racing Person.
167
00:14:19,716 --> 00:14:22,835
Come along then, wheel it out.
168
00:14:22,836 --> 00:14:25,575
It's not easy. It's top heavy.
169
00:14:25,576 --> 00:14:32,335
Good grief, man.
How are you going to impress
Nora Batty if you can't wheel it?
170
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:35,796
He lacks determination,
have you noticed?
171
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,556
And maybe a couple of buttons
in various places.
172
00:14:47,796 --> 00:14:51,435
There's more bits on this
than Nora Batty.
173
00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:53,395
Where the hell do I hold it?
174
00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:56,495
Wherever you get hold of Nora Batty
for comfort.
175
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,595
I can see where everything fits
on Nora Batty.
176
00:14:59,596 --> 00:15:02,495
I've never noticed.
Nor me. Still he should know.
177
00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:08,455
I do know. Tha doesn't study
a subject for years without
learning a thing or two.
178
00:15:08,456 --> 00:15:11,755
Don't wave it about.
It's top heavy.
179
00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:15,175
Walk it up and down,
get the feel of it.
180
00:15:15,176 --> 00:15:19,035
I've got the feel of it.
Feels like a gas stove.
181
00:15:19,036 --> 00:15:20,995
What about a cup of tea?
182
00:15:20,996 --> 00:15:23,795
I hate it, Norm, I really hate it.
183
00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:28,415
Go on. Approach the whole thing
in a constructive manner.
184
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,755
Never mind the work that's gone in.
185
00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:35,615
Listen, Barry Sheene,
off-the-road bikes have no windows.
186
00:15:35,616 --> 00:15:39,115
But Nora Batty doesn't know that.
187
00:15:39,116 --> 00:15:43,675
When she sees you
in racing leathers,
crouched over the handlebars,
188
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:47,535
her heart is going to give
a skip and a flutter.
189
00:15:47,536 --> 00:15:49,456
So's mine. And mine.
190
00:15:51,236 --> 00:15:53,575
All this enthusiasm.
191
00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:58,235
Look, do you want to build up
your macho image or not?
192
00:15:58,236 --> 00:16:00,596
On this?
193
00:16:00,716 --> 00:16:03,956
I know what I'm doing.
Put it on the stand.
194
00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:08,456
Hey! Wow! That's really macho.
Putting it on the stand.
195
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:22,736
Wait a minute, where will I borrow
flash racing leathers?
196
00:16:39,196 --> 00:16:41,436
Him?
197
00:16:57,896 --> 00:17:04,755
He looks like a radish...
the world's first racing radish.
198
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:07,015
Will he be alright on rough ground?
199
00:17:07,016 --> 00:17:13,355
Oh yes, he'll be fine.
There's a natural protection
for his sort, you know.
200
00:17:13,356 --> 00:17:18,015
Some primitive, scruffy god
takes care of them.
201
00:17:18,016 --> 00:17:23,975
They survive.
They're still there at the end
of holocausts and parties.
202
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:31,935
We must find out from Wally,
where and when exactly he's taking
Nora for her next ride.
203
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:35,915
Then you have to appear,
as if by accident.
204
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:39,035
I wish he hadn't said "accident".
205
00:17:39,036 --> 00:17:46,215
You'll be alright, you'll be fine.
You're going to look quite like
an astronaut.
206
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:50,036
The first radish in space.
207
00:18:00,016 --> 00:18:02,515
The man himself.
208
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:07,595
Good day to you, Wally Batty.
Alone at the watering hole.
209
00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:09,835
Not any more.
210
00:18:09,836 --> 00:18:11,655
Forgive the intrusion, Wally.
211
00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:16,835
Expecting a lot of rain, is he?
212
00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:18,875
Mind tha business.
It's rude to stare.
213
00:18:18,876 --> 00:18:26,656
Please yourself,
but you're in t'wrong gear
for not being stared at.
214
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,395
Listen, fellers,
I wish I could help you.
215
00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:35,795
Help us?
Whatever it is you're after.
216
00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:38,395
After? How do you mean "after"?
217
00:18:38,396 --> 00:18:42,755
If it was up to me.
But, I'm under starter's orders.
218
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:47,695
I've got strict instructions not
to have more than one drink.
219
00:18:47,696 --> 00:18:51,475
And not get involved with anybody.
220
00:18:51,476 --> 00:18:53,136
Especially not big drinkers.
221
00:18:55,496 --> 00:18:56,755
Tomfools.
222
00:18:56,756 --> 00:18:59,495
Wise. It's best to avoid tomfools.
223
00:18:59,496 --> 00:19:02,335
We do.
Aye, there's a lot of them about.
224
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:04,715
And unaccompanied females.
225
00:19:04,716 --> 00:19:10,896
You got no worries there,
because we're certainly
not unaccompanied females.
226
00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:15,635
Which is good news for all
the unaccompanied males.
227
00:19:15,636 --> 00:19:20,455
You seem a trifle restless, Wally.
228
00:19:20,456 --> 00:19:27,756
Well, I can't stop long.
I've got to take the missus out
for a ride.
229
00:19:40,436 --> 00:19:46,675
How the hell's she going
to recognise me? I might as well
wear a bucket on me head.
230
00:19:46,676 --> 00:19:52,195
Oh no, it's perfect. It looks like
the top on a bottle of ketchup.
231
00:19:52,196 --> 00:19:56,155
I'm not wearing it. Temper.
Not a champion's mark.
232
00:19:56,156 --> 00:19:59,675
Cool in a crisis. That's
what we're looking for.
233
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:03,195
Calm under pressure.
If you want to impress the woman.
234
00:20:03,196 --> 00:20:08,675
How the hell's she going to know
it's me in all this gear?
235
00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:11,796
And not some bottle of ketchup.
Watch it!
236
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:14,495
She's won't know it's you.
That's what I mean.
237
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:16,395
Not in the beginning.
238
00:20:16,396 --> 00:20:18,335
Then what's the point?
239
00:20:18,336 --> 00:20:22,995
Leave it to me
Little Fighter Pilot Person.
240
00:20:22,996 --> 00:20:30,375
Relax. Think Tango Red Leader.
Angels One Five. Bandits 9 o'clock.
241
00:20:30,376 --> 00:20:32,575
We're going to build you up.
242
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:36,095
First, you're just a figure
out of nowhere.
243
00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:39,035
With a roar of sound -
Whoosh! Vroom! Vroom!
244
00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:42,695
And he's certainly got plenty
of v-room!
245
00:20:42,696 --> 00:20:48,255
She'll be spellbound. And shocked.
246
00:20:48,256 --> 00:20:52,795
Yes. Let's face it.
Slightly shocked.
247
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:57,895
Heart a-flutter.
Who is this fascinating figure?
Who WAS this fascinating figure?
248
00:20:57,896 --> 00:20:59,395
Gone. In a twinkling.
249
00:20:59,396 --> 00:21:04,615
A twinkling. Oh, you'll enjoy that.
Having a good twinkle.
250
00:21:04,616 --> 00:21:10,075
A rush of wind, a roar of sound,
and you'll be gone.
251
00:21:10,076 --> 00:21:16,715
Leaving her wondering. Heart all
a-flutter with female curiosity...
252
00:21:16,716 --> 00:21:18,835
Who was he? Who was he?
253
00:21:18,836 --> 00:21:20,935
Exactly. It could be anybody.
254
00:21:20,936 --> 00:21:27,655
We won't disclose your identity on
the first time, or the second time.
255
00:21:27,656 --> 00:21:30,495
When ARE we going to disclose it?
256
00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:34,655
When she's half-demented
with curiosity.
257
00:21:34,656 --> 00:21:39,015
Can't sleep. Wondering -
who is he? Who is he?
258
00:21:39,016 --> 00:21:40,075
Who is...
259
00:21:40,076 --> 00:21:43,696
the Phantom?
260
00:22:03,476 --> 00:22:05,075
Stop squirming.
261
00:22:05,076 --> 00:22:07,455
What do I want a flag for?
262
00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:13,115
So that she'll recognise it's
the same rider every time.
263
00:22:13,116 --> 00:22:17,955
It's like a battle banner.
It'll look great.
264
00:22:17,956 --> 00:22:22,535
It'll look fabulous streaming
in the wind behind you.
265
00:22:22,536 --> 00:22:27,015
Medieval Japanese warriors
on horseback wore one.
266
00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:30,735
You know how many medieval Japanese
warriors have survived.
267
00:22:30,736 --> 00:22:32,595
What flag is it?
268
00:22:32,596 --> 00:22:37,855
It's... er... my old scout troop.
Oh, heck!
269
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:41,755
It's the only one I could get.
Number Three Troop.
270
00:22:41,756 --> 00:22:47,135
Aha, good old Number Three Troop.
We were top at Camp Cookery.
271
00:22:47,136 --> 00:22:49,115
I bet tha were.
272
00:22:49,116 --> 00:22:54,536
When it's streaming behind you
it'll look marvellous.
273
00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:04,476
Alright - contact. Start her up.
274
00:23:08,556 --> 00:23:11,835
Give her some revs.
Give her some revs.
275
00:23:11,836 --> 00:23:17,836
Don't shout. He's doing great
for a mounted, medieval
Japanese ketchup bottle.
276
00:23:21,676 --> 00:23:25,356
Let her go! Let her go!
277
00:23:37,436 --> 00:23:45,395
Don't worry, because this time
you'll be pushed until
you pick up some speed. Push him.
278
00:23:45,396 --> 00:23:47,795
Me? Yes, you, push him. Oh.
279
00:23:47,796 --> 00:23:49,036
Now. Are you right?
280
00:24:41,636 --> 00:24:47,335
Right, now we'll try the wheelies.
Wheelies?!
281
00:24:47,336 --> 00:24:54,795
When you rev it up, I'll lift
up the front wheel to get it on
the back wheel. Come on, then.
282
00:24:54,796 --> 00:24:55,816
That's it!
283
00:24:59,476 --> 00:25:02,395
By Jove, you've got the hang of it!
284
00:25:02,396 --> 00:25:03,596
HEY UP, NORA!!!
285
00:25:10,556 --> 00:25:14,016
Oh yes...
he's certainly got the hang of it.
286
00:25:19,876 --> 00:25:23,015
Now you've got the picture?
I've got the picture.
287
00:25:23,016 --> 00:25:28,355
There's Nora Batty having
a quiet picnic, you see.
288
00:25:28,356 --> 00:25:32,315
Then with a snarl of his
mighty engine, she sees
the Phantom doing wheelies.
289
00:25:32,316 --> 00:25:35,195
Wheelies in wellies, wow!
290
00:25:35,196 --> 00:25:41,036
A few wheelies. An idiot can do it.
An idiot is doing it.
291
00:25:43,456 --> 00:25:49,775
The effect will be dazzling.
Imagine her feelings when
she sees this dramatic appearance.
292
00:25:49,776 --> 00:25:53,635
What about the danger?
293
00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:58,976
Danger?
The Phantom LIVES for danger.
294
00:26:00,036 --> 00:26:01,075
Is that true?
295
00:26:01,076 --> 00:26:05,795
Well... sort of.
296
00:26:05,796 --> 00:26:12,595
That's my boy.
Now go to where I told you.
Prepare yourself mentally.
297
00:26:12,596 --> 00:26:15,635
He means pray.
298
00:26:15,636 --> 00:26:20,075
No, psych yourself up.
"I am the Phantom,
299
00:26:20,076 --> 00:26:25,095
"I am the Phantom, I am the..."
You know, that kind of thing.
300
00:26:25,096 --> 00:26:26,575
When I signal,
301
00:26:26,576 --> 00:26:33,735
get on the bike. Get ready for
the next signal which will be
one blast on my NCO's whistle.
302
00:26:33,736 --> 00:26:37,336
And then it's go, go, GO!
303
00:26:39,376 --> 00:26:40,936
Bye, bye, bye.
304
00:26:54,336 --> 00:26:58,515
- It makes a change.
- What?
305
00:26:58,516 --> 00:27:02,695
I say, it makes a change.
306
00:27:02,696 --> 00:27:06,856
Aye... What does?
307
00:27:07,916 --> 00:27:11,335
A trip out. Are you not listening?
You bring me out
308
00:27:11,336 --> 00:27:12,835
and you're not listening!
309
00:27:12,836 --> 00:27:17,016
Course I'm listening
I've had enough practice.
310
00:27:18,896 --> 00:27:21,375
Don't take that tone with me.
311
00:27:21,376 --> 00:27:27,995
Me tone's wrong now. I'm in trouble
with me tone. What tone?
312
00:27:27,996 --> 00:27:31,495
You know what tone.
Your argumentative tone.
313
00:27:31,496 --> 00:27:34,895
You're spoiling for a fight,
I can always tell.
314
00:27:34,896 --> 00:27:35,975
Rubbish, woman.
315
00:27:35,976 --> 00:27:39,335
You had an argumentative tone
on our honeymoon.
316
00:27:39,336 --> 00:27:42,376
Must a been t'last time I used it.
317
00:27:44,456 --> 00:27:47,295
Why bring me out
if you can't be pleasant?
318
00:27:47,296 --> 00:27:52,896
Listen, I bring you out.
Can't we draw the line
at being pleasant?
319
00:27:53,996 --> 00:27:58,255
You could try.
What have you done lately
320
00:27:58,256 --> 00:28:04,475
to entertain me? Marriage
should be a two way process!
321
00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:07,235
Have you ever wanted for
a clean shirt?
322
00:28:07,236 --> 00:28:10,075
Not desperately, no.
323
00:28:10,076 --> 00:28:13,535
Tell me when you've come home
and I've not been there!
No, you haven't!
324
00:28:13,536 --> 00:28:17,416
Despite how hard
you've tried on occasion.
325
00:28:20,436 --> 00:28:23,316
Eat up and we'll go home.
326
00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:31,235
Good heavens, they're here already.
327
00:28:31,236 --> 00:28:34,096
Where is he?
328
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:43,495
I am the Phantom.
I am the stupid twit that's
going to do the wheelies. Why?
329
00:28:43,496 --> 00:28:51,015
I am the Phantom. I am the Phantom.
I am the Phantom.
Altogether, please...
330
00:28:51,016 --> 00:28:57,215
♪ I am the Phantom
of the old garden wall
331
00:28:57,216 --> 00:29:00,995
♪ And when Nora sees me,
I bet she's going to...
332
00:29:00,996 --> 00:29:02,836
♪ fall... ♪
333
00:29:05,836 --> 00:29:08,716
He'd better do something quick.
334
00:29:09,736 --> 00:29:12,876
Fetch me a towel for me hands.
335
00:29:40,356 --> 00:29:43,175
You great, stupid nit.
336
00:29:43,176 --> 00:29:45,536
Look what you've done!
28237
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