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1
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,604
My fellow Americans,
it's been decades
2
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:31,364
since Gotham City once
exemplified American prosperity.
3
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:34,468
But one week ago, it
hit the point of no return
4
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,402
when the Joker seized control
5
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,304
and instituted martial law.
6
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,673
- [static on tv]
- Last night,
7
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,475
his base of operations,
the Joker Tower,
8
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,076
came crashing to the ground,
9
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,646
triggering an 8.6 earthquake
that leveled the city.
10
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,781
Sadly, Gotham is beyond saving.
11
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,084
- [all gasp]
- So it is with a heavy heart
12
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,654
that I hereby declare
that Gotham City
13
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,289
is no longer part
of the United States.
14
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,859
It is civitas non grata.
15
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,127
God bless the United
States of America,
16
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,829
and God help Gotham City.
17
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:06,533
Fuck yeah!
18
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,468
[theme music playing]
19
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,077
- [horn blaring]
- [tires screeching]
20
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,375
[dogs snarling]
21
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,409
[moaning] [straining]
22
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,394
[grunt]
23
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,590
Honk honk, motherfuckers!
24
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,125
[horn blaring]
25
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,528
[horn approaching]
26
00:01:37,563 --> 00:01:39,132
Home, sweet home.
27
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,569
Good job, my
little baby drivers.
28
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,771
I got a treat for ya.
29
00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:47,908
Now, Bud and
Lou, don't you fight.
30
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,843
There's one for each of ya.
31
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:53,480
And for my big
babies, I brought dinner!
32
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:54,724
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,415
Those beasts get steak
34
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,850
and we gotta eat this guy?
35
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,819
Are we living in
a mall or a zoo?
36
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,822
I like to think of
it as both now.
37
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:03,290
No, we're not eating him.
38
00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:05,257
This is Takashi, a sushi chef.
39
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,227
He's got a Michelin
star! [grunts]
40
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,360
I gotta admit,
41
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,695
I was excited to eat a person,
42
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,231
especially since I
already had sushi,
43
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,400
but I guess it's fine.
44
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,935
Come here!
45
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,670
Takashi, would it be
gauche to ask for a spider roll,
46
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,438
or are you strictly omakase?
47
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:22,175
Ive, are you not
jazzed about sushi?
48
00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:24,443
No, no. I mean, I like
Takashi's hand rolls
49
00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:25,611
as much as the next gal,
50
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:26,889
but don't you think it's time
51
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,390
to kinda like wrap
up this party up?
52
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:29,626
You know, it's been three weeks
53
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,717
since you took down Joker.
54
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:31,919
There's no Legion of Doom.
55
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:32,976
No Batman.
56
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,587
Gotham is yours for the taking.
57
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,399
I am having a blast!
58
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,191
This is what I've
always wanted, Ive.
59
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,259
Anarchy and sushi!
60
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,429
[horn blares]
61
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,931
Yeah, I mean, you definitely
could've had better sushi
62
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,633
when Gotham had refrigeration
63
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,634
and free trade with the
rest of America, but...
64
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,503
[blech] Is this a bird?
65
00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:51,546
Trust me. Seriously,
66
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:52,649
you're gonna be kicking yourself
67
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,831
if you don't take charge.
68
00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:56,543
Ive, the best part of living
in an apocalyptic wasteland
69
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,478
is no one's in charge.
70
00:02:58,544 --> 00:02:59,544
Whoo!
71
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,480
[horn blares]
72
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,325
It's chaos, baby!
73
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,854
It's like 'Nam after
the U.S. pulled out.
74
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,365
- [explosions]
- [sighs]
75
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,667
I don't think it's
exactly like that.
76
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,734
But it is pretty awesome.
77
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,961
Hey! You're on Penguin turf.
78
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,729
Get the hell outta here.
79
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,296
The hell ya talking 'bout?
80
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,942
Penguin called dibs on the mall.
81
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,467
Uh, we've been chilling
at the mall for, like, ever!
82
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,503
And dibs? There's no dibs.
83
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,338
The city's in ruins, idiot.
84
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,540
It's a post-dibs world.
85
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,284
Nobody owns nothing.
86
00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:30,342
Except for me!
87
00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:31,444
I own this mall.
88
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,580
It's chaos, baby!
89
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:37,325
It's like 'Nam after
the U.S. pulled out.
90
00:03:37,349 --> 00:03:38,976
- [explosion]
- [frustrated] Stop, stop, stop!
91
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,252
[softly] No flashbacks.
92
00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:41,463
So you go back to the Penguin
93
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,855
and tell him to
go screw himself.
94
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,491
- [grunt]
- [chomps]
95
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,534
Hey, Takashi.
96
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,728
Can you incorporate
this into a rainbow roll?
97
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,963
Light on the rice. [Laughs]
98
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,276
I'm watching my figure.
99
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,542
Harley, this is what's
going to happen
100
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,830
if you don't take control.
101
00:03:53,854 --> 00:03:56,245
Every one of these assholes
has an army of goons
102
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,347
that they're just gonna keep
sending until they take over the city.
103
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,915
I think you may
be catastrophizing.
104
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,008
[explosion]
105
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,945
Hey! You're on Two-Face's turf.
106
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,881
Don't make that face at me.
107
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:08,949
Fine, I'll deal with it.
108
00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:11,518
Listen up, goons!
109
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,620
Excuse me, I
identify as a hench.
110
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,632
Listen up, goons and henches,
111
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,567
the world we know has ended.
112
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,560
The Justice League is kaput,
the Legion of Doom is doomed,
113
00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,463
and Joker's had his last laugh.
114
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,966
This is our chance to
even the playing field.
115
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,502
You! Who do you work for?
116
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,069
The Riddler. Obviously.
117
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,704
Seriously? Two-Face. Come on.
118
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,016
But why?
119
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,286
What have those
assholes ever done for you?
120
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,754
Joker treated me like shit,
121
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,411
until I decided I'd had enough
122
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,014
and took him down.
123
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,482
And look at me now.
124
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,827
It is time to rise up!
125
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,987
Everyone should
be their own villain.
126
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,100
Don't work for the
Penguin, be the Penguin.
127
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,533
Over here, the hench...
128
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,002
I've got a two part
question for ya.
129
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,803
Are you saying we should
become the Penguin,
130
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,396
or that we should
do stuff like him?
131
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,831
Up to you, goo...
[blech] ...hench.
132
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,432
This is New Gotham.
133
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,012
The power isn't held by the few,
134
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,502
it's up for grabs.
135
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,838
So everyone should go get some.
136
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:06,983
- [belching]
- [glass shattering]
137
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,107
[all cheering]
138
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,550
Everybody on the floor!
139
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,052
No, yous get on the floor.
140
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,519
Phil, the fuck is going on?
141
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:21,754
[guns cocking]
142
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,456
[hesitantly] Hi.
Hey, I'm Steven,
143
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,690
I'm the shift manager.
144
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,560
Uh, are we being
robbed, or are you?
145
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,571
Plus also, the bank was
just robbed 15 minutes ago
146
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,973
by someone who
said he was, quote,
147
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:30,997
"Penguin like."
148
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,365
[growls]
149
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,367
Two-Face double
crossed by his own goo...
150
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,702
[cackles]
151
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:39,740
Citizens of New
Gotham, riddle me this...
152
00:05:39,805 --> 00:05:41,608
Citizens of New Gotham...
153
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,677
Craig? What the
hell are you doing?
154
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,778
[chuckles] Who is this
Craig you speak of?
155
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,982
I am the Inquizitor-or-or...
156
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,084
Craig, get off the air!
157
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:51,685
Here's a quizzy quiz.
158
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,653
Who's not my boss anymore?
159
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,088
You!
160
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,057
We're cutting in live
from Penguin's casino
161
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,925
and looks like I'm
the big winner today.
162
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,961
Come and get it, New Gotham!
163
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,100
[Penguin] Are we all here?
164
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,168
[sighs] We're missing one.
165
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,137
[dramatic music plays]
166
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,973
[gun cocking]
167
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,507
[ice shatters]
168
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,053
[German accent]
Your door is inoperable.
169
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,646
It's a pull!
170
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,747
Uh... My bad.
171
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,125
- This guy...
- Gentlemen,
172
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,158
thank you for coming.
173
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:24,985
Let me cut to the chase.
174
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,596
Harley Quinn's goon rebellion
175
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,790
- is destroying our way of life.
- [grunts]
176
00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:31,625
Stupid coffee machine!
177
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,127
It's impossible to figure out!
178
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,661
We need goons!
179
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,807
Well... well, I loosened it up.
180
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,074
Can I ask you a
serious question?
181
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,110
Why are you so stupid?
182
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,002
Incredibly, Bane is right.
183
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,613
Not about the coffee
maker, but we need goons!
184
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,415
Now they all think they're us.
185
00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,017
If everyone's a
villain, then no one is.
186
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,887
And we need to get
them back in line.
187
00:06:49,911 --> 00:06:51,745
We need structure. Right fellas?
188
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,255
We can't run organized crime...
189
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,115
Uh... I'm not in
organized crime.
190
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,682
I'm actually trying
to find a cure
191
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,617
for my wife's terminal illness.
192
00:06:58,685 --> 00:06:59,952
And how are you funding that?
193
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,954
Uh. Through organized crime.
194
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:06,160
Exactly... which we can't do with
Harley leading this insurrection!
195
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:09,495
We need to get her on
board and get our goons back!
196
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:12,132
Uh... one note, one small note.
197
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,533
Maybe we should
have invited her to this?
198
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,401
- What?
- Shut it, Bane.
199
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,875
[rumbling]
200
00:07:24,543 --> 00:07:27,113
Come on, come on. I know
you're out there, buddy.
201
00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,132
[thunderclap]
202
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:34,922
[grunts]
203
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,466
Robin?
204
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,959
No! This is the Bat-Signal,
not the Robin-Signal.
205
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,494
Get out of here! Shoo, shoo!
206
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,005
Will you stop shooing me!
207
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,029
Batman is missing.
208
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,276
[dramatic gasp] What?
209
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,076
He was in the Joker
Tower when it fell...
210
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,877
And I haven't heard
from him since.
211
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:49,913
Oh, my God!
212
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:50,937
Did you try texting him?
213
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,939
Of course I tried texting him.
214
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:53,874
What am I, 40?
215
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,151
Course! Could...
216
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,718
you share that
contact info with me?
217
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,187
[hesitantly] Yeah.
He wouldn't like that.
218
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,781
Plus that would mean
you have my info, too.
219
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,649
C'mon! The city's falling apart!
220
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,196
- We need Batman, damn it!
- Whoa, whoa...
221
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,197
He's gone.
222
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:07,620
Which is why I'm here.
223
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,555
'Cause I'm ready to
take up the mantle.
224
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:10,723
[snarls] I'm Batman.
225
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,192
[blech]
226
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,093
[grunts]
227
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,639
Ow! That's thick plastic!
228
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,697
Slipped.
229
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,009
Can you just toss that back?
230
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,593
- There's a little left in it.
- [grunt]
231
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:23,971
Where are you, Batman?
232
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,809
[squeaking]
233
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,610
[King Shark] Oh, come
on. Let me pet you!
234
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,011
I want to teach you love.
235
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,114
Hey Takashi, you're gonna freak!
236
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,559
I got the last fresh
ginger in Gotham
237
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,626
just like you asked!
238
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,951
[excitedly] Ginger!
239
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,019
Hip, hip, hooray!
240
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,630
Holy shit!
241
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,623
It's about time, what
took you so long?
242
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,570
Hey, you know, it's pretty
rough out there, okay?
243
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,061
I had to fight five new
question-based villains.
244
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,596
Uh... [clears throat]
245
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:50,673
Harley, a word.
246
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,143
Is it "congratulations"?
247
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,801
I stopped all the villains
by liberating the goons.
248
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,070
Harls, this was your
chance to control the city,
249
00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:00,807
but now instead of like five big
assholes trying to run Gotham,
250
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,243
we've got a thousand
little assholes to deal with.
251
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,878
Ugh, you worry too much, Ive.
252
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,976
Um...
253
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,791
You know, I think I'm worrying
like the perfect amount, to be honest.
254
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,092
Thanks, Lou. What'd ya bring me?
255
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,028
"Harley Quinn, you
are cordially invited
256
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,254
to attend the inaugural
meeting of the Injustice League."
257
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,590
What is the Injustice League?
258
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,059
I believe it is a play
on "Justice League."
259
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,163
Boy, will they have a
juicy lawsuit on their hands.
260
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,999
Wonder woman is
very litigious. Trust me.
261
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,368
This is bullshit.
262
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,403
The city's supposed to be chaos!
263
00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:32,816
You know, I'm trying to be less of a
know-it-all, so I'm just gonna go read.
264
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:33,883
[excitedly] I can't,
it's killing me,
265
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,342
I told you so! Okay,
[inhales deeply] Whoo!
266
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,144
Now I'm going to go read.
267
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,322
[Harley Quinn]
Hey motherfuckers.
268
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,248
Look at that, gang's all here.
269
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,871
Freeze, been a minute.
270
00:09:42,895 --> 00:09:45,594
Bane, good to see you on your
feet after the Legion went boom.
271
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:50,066
Luckily I was away, dog sitting
for my Aunt Linda's girlfriend.
272
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,235
[softly] We're very supportive.
273
00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,236
Aw, that's nice.
274
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,534
So, what's the deal?
275
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:56,239
You guys get invites to this
Injustice League dealio too?
276
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,303
- Actually, Harley...
- [ominous instrumental music]
277
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,100
Tada!
278
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,636
Wait, wait. You guys
are the Injustice League?
279
00:10:03,702 --> 00:10:05,715
We had time to
get a banner made,
280
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,841
but not enough to find
one more executive chair?
281
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,311
Oh, again with the swivel chair.
282
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,980
Your recklessness
forced us to band together
283
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,081
to restore order in the
criminal underworld.
284
00:10:15,149 --> 00:10:16,793
There's gotta be a hierarchy.
285
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:17,794
Exactly!
286
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,686
It goes supervillains,
sidekicks,
287
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,654
goons that went to
Harvard, and then goons.
288
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,166
Okay. That's just
the same old shit.
289
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,000
I mean. This is a chance
to do something new.
290
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,059
Much gratitude for the segue.
291
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,062
Feast your eyes on
new... New Gotham.
292
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,331
Hmm?
293
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,434
Not. Interested.
294
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,003
[exclaims] Whoa. Hey!
295
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,837
Where did this map come from?
296
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,240
I'm still on a
goddamn folding chair.
297
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,750
Jesus, Bane.
298
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,052
We all thought it would be funny
299
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,421
if we gave you
a folding chair...
300
00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:45,788
- and we were right!
- [Two-Face laughs]
301
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,813
Oh, I see your joke now.
302
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,783
Your... jest will be avenged.
303
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,719
[uninterested] Anyway...
304
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,176
we've divided up Gotham.
305
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,057
Each of us will control a territory
where we make our own rules.
306
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,160
Which you could have
seen if we still had the map.
307
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,263
Guess which part
was gonna yours?
308
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,731
Hint, the bad part. [Laughs]
309
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,902
I took out Joker,
so I make the rules.
310
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,403
And this shit won't fly.
311
00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:14,971
- It ain't happening.
- Told ya.
312
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,025
[Harley Quinn]
Ivy, are you there?
313
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,129
Can you hear me? Where am I?
314
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,251
Riddle me this...
315
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,897
Who's the biggest fool of all?
316
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:31,725
You! For wasting your
only chance to rule Gotham.
317
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,826
[cackles]
318
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,763
If you'd just played the game,
you wouldn't have ended up like this.
319
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,065
[laughs]
320
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,267
You did this to yourself.
321
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,869
[mumbling]
322
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,884
You'll never be one of us.
323
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,943
You're just a sad,
pathetic clown.
324
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,779
[all laughing]
325
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,482
[screaming]
326
00:11:59,287 --> 00:12:00,287
[grunt] [groans]
327
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:03,423
[gun firing]
328
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,325
We're getting
destroyed out there, men!
329
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,369
And Cheryl. [Sighs]
330
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,394
I know it seems like
the bad guys have won,
331
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,464
but I'm here to tell
you they haven't.
332
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,375
Batman's still out there.
333
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,399
Somewhere.
334
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:18,404
[exhales] I know
things seem bleak.
335
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,907
We're being hunted by
villains and citizens alike.
336
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,298
No food, no power.
337
00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:24,317
I mean, my God, there's
only coconut flavored
338
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,113
sparkling water in
the vending machines.
339
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,416
Oh, Cheryl!
340
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,418
I kind of like it. [Chuckles]
341
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,486
America may have
turned its back on us,
342
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,054
and chaos fills the streets...
343
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,157
we're still Gotham's finest.
344
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:42,538
We have a job to do, and
God damn it, we're gonna do it!
345
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,176
[all cheering]
346
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,234
Now you get out there and
you take back your town...
347
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:50,846
- Our town...
- [gun fires]
348
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,806
I'm taking over this
police department.
349
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:55,341
Like cheeseballs you are!
You don't have the authority!
350
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,649
[men groaning]
351
00:12:56,673 --> 00:12:58,945
Anyone else itching to
get shot in their privates?
352
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:00,212
[moaning]
353
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,857
Hey... guys... [chuckles]
354
00:13:02,881 --> 00:13:05,418
All right, Gordon,
I'm a fair guy.
355
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,522
Heads you live and
we'll call it time served.
356
00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:11,325
Tails and we'll...
- [screams] -[gun fires]
357
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,596
[gasping]
358
00:13:15,663 --> 00:13:17,297
You won't get
away with this, Dent.
359
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,432
I already have.
360
00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:20,067
Give my love to Barb.
361
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,368
I'll be back.
362
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,337
And I'm bringing
the Batman with me!
363
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,508
Ugh. Jesus Christ, coconut.
364
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:30,043
♪ You're a cop, You're
damn good cop ♪
365
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,945
♪ Saving the city
With Batman ya ♪
366
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,413
♪ Ain't gonna stop ♪
367
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,615
♪ You're a cop, cop, cop ♪
368
00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:36,549
♪ You're a damn-good-cop! ♪
369
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,716
Bah, bah, bah!
370
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,572
[tires screech]
371
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,203
Come on and get
me, you crazy fucks!
372
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,140
Ben? And Cheryl?
373
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,475
On your knees, Jimbo!
374
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,145
The hell do you think you're...
375
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:07,280
Why would you do this?
376
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,426
You're cops.
377
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,451
There ain't no cops
no more, old man.
378
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,052
We're Bane boys now.
379
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,121
Things change quick
on these mean streets.
380
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:16,433
[groans]
381
00:14:16,457 --> 00:14:19,606
[chuckles] Let's jet!
382
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,513
[dejected] You're a damn good...
383
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,279
[sobs] ...nothing.
384
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:51,057
[music blaring]
385
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,360
[people screaming]
386
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,498
Hey, Mr. Penguin!
387
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,365
Good to see you, Mr. Penguin!
388
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,168
How ya doing
tonight, Mr. Penguin?
389
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,003
Fine, fine.
390
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,171
[woman giggles]
391
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,472
Hey. Sex upstairs later?
392
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,140
[laughs]
393
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,277
Oh. It's good to be the Penguin.
394
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,245
Mr. Penguin, good to see yo...
395
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,756
- [groans]
- Okay, that's too many people
396
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,615
saying hello to me.
It feels disingenuous.
397
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,052
Ahhh... I actually meant it...
398
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,086
[elevator dings]
399
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,357
Why so blue, Harley? [laughs]
400
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,259
It's a party for Christ's sake!
401
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,727
[cackles]
402
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,261
Monsieur Penguin,
403
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,964
uh, what can I get for you?
404
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,231
Where's Jeffrey?
405
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,701
[nervously] You
kil... killed him?
406
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,501
Oh, that does sound like me.
407
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,639
Would you like some champagne?
408
00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:43,243
To celebrate your
taking back the city?
409
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:48,114
Perhaps make a little toast
to your magnificent self?
410
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,448
Mmm, why not!
411
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:50,616
[mumbling]
412
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,686
The bird has taken the worm.
413
00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:54,297
- Tweet, tweet.
- [King Shark] Tweet, tweet.
414
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,589
- I'm here.
- [Clayface] And?
415
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,157
And I'm not saying
"tweet, tweet."
416
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,591
She said it! [Laughs]
417
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,125
[Sy] But one birdie left...
418
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,471
Tweet, tweet, baby.
419
00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:02,504
We're ready.
420
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,063
Let's hatch this egg.
421
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,198
Ladies and gentlemen!
422
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,100
We're killing it.
423
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,035
We put down the goon rebellion
424
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,339
and they're thanking us for it.
425
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,274
We carved up the city
426
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,509
and they're thanking
us for it. [Laughs]
427
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,577
Sy, smoke, smoke!
428
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,145
Right! On it. [Clicks]
429
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,481
So I'd just like to
raise a glass and...
430
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,083
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
431
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,753
You back there,
sit down. I'm talking.
432
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,354
[Clayface over
phone] Stall Sy, stall.
433
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,255
- [Penguin] As I was saying...
- Eh... Uh...
434
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,390
Hey, excuse me!
435
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,693
- We got a birthday boy tonight.
- What?
436
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,461
And a one... And a two.
437
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,565
- [plays piano]
- ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
438
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,467
[Poison Ivy] Okay
Psycho, nice and easy.
439
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,570
- [Sy continues singing]
- Easy! Careful. Careful!
440
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,347
[Sy] ♪ Happy birthday dear... ♪
441
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,381
♪ ...Penguin! ♪
442
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,484
Can I call you Penguin?
443
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:48,551
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
444
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,243
All right guys, let's go.
445
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,311
It's not my birthday.
446
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,580
♪ And many more! ♪
447
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,816
I said it's not my birthday.
448
00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,217
And can we lighten
up on the damn smoke?
449
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,663
As I was saying... thanks to me,
450
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,087
and of course
451
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,057
everyone's favorite
ice sculpture,
452
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,157
Harley Quinn.
453
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,224
[crowd gasps]
454
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,475
Stop them!
455
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,167
All right, we gotta make this
extraction as gentle as possible.
456
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,270
Okay. We can't rattle her because
her life is in the balance, okay.
457
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:19,539
Ahhh! [Groans]
458
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,641
Look what you made me do.
459
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:25,357
Okay, this is not a good start.
460
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,058
[screaming]
461
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:29,861
[happily] Oh, hey, Ive.
462
00:17:29,885 --> 00:17:31,417
Harls! Hi. You okay?
463
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,685
How are you feeling?
464
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,756
[yells] Get me
the fuck outta this!
465
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,691
Everybody stand back!
466
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:39,459
Hit it, Sy.
467
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,536
- [grunt]
- [tires screech]
468
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,760
[laughs]
469
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,201
- [grunt]
- [groans]
470
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:52,782
Have at me!
471
00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:55,107
Somebody free my swinging arm!
472
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:57,577
Fire finger, flame begin!
473
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,281
- Ha! [Grunt]
- [groaning]
474
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,161
[men screaming]
475
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:07,463
[Harley Quinn]
Sweep the leg Johnny!
476
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,589
[cackles]
477
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:14,655
- [men groaning]
- [Harley Quinn laughs]
478
00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:16,896
[grunt]
479
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,265
- [screaming]
- [gun firing]
480
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,332
[groans]
481
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,169
[ice screeching]
482
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,315
Harley... I always thought
483
00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:29,718
- you were a sidekick.
- [struggling]
484
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,478
A goon with a name.
485
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,679
But I was wrong.
486
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:33,780
[grunt]
487
00:18:34,816 --> 00:18:35,793
Asshole.
488
00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:37,284
You're a mistake.
489
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:38,919
A mutation.
490
00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,421
Thankfully, nature has
graced us with a solution
491
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:45,224
to the Harley Quinn
problem, survival of the fittest.
492
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,291
[groans]
493
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,696
[sobbing] My beautiful nose!
494
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,531
- [screams]
- [grunts]
495
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,700
[laughs]
496
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,245
Without your bat,
497
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,203
you're just a defrosted gymnast!
498
00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,772
Eat grenades, Harley!
499
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,907
Take that!
500
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,541
- [laughs]
- [grunting]
501
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:08,515
I knew we should have
killed you from the start...
502
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,250
[Harley Quinn] Yeah,
you really blew it.
503
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,818
Over here.
504
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,586
No stupid, over here!
505
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,656
Oh, sorry you missed
me, fucking idiot.
506
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,722
Over here.
507
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:18,858
No. Oops!
508
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,226
- No. Wrong way.
- [exclaims]
509
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,328
Oh, you're so fucking stupid.
510
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,596
[sighs in relief]
511
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,464
[moaning]
512
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,566
[gurgling]
513
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,247
[men groan]
514
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,282
Hey Harley, are
you... Ooh, yikes.
515
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,407
It's about to get
way more "yikes."
516
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:36,643
Ahhh!
517
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:37,944
[death sigh]
518
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,711
Yeah, that was
definitely more "yikes."
519
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,715
Can we go get coffee?
520
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,496
Oh. Uh...
521
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,420
I let the emotions get
the best of me earlier.
522
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,587
This is a minor setback.
523
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,176
Here's what we're gonna do.
524
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,267
Go to your brother's house,
get his old scuba gear,
525
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,294
we fish my badge
out of Gotham Harbor.
526
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:59,308
Then, this right here... the
new GCPD headquarters.
527
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,877
That's right.
528
00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,845
I'm still commissioner.
I'll start a new department.
529
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,238
I can deputize you
right now, Barbara.
530
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,906
We'll clean up
this city together...
531
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,877
husband and wife cops.
An unbreakable bond.
532
00:20:10,912 --> 00:20:12,272
[Barbara] I want
a divorce. [claps]
533
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,949
It's all hopeless.
534
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,621
Where are you, Batman?
535
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:22,957
They put me on
ice and an hour later
536
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,991
the goons crawl
back to the bosses?
537
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,827
Harley, this might
come as a shock to you,
538
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,631
so I wanna... I want to say
it as delicately as I can...
539
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,465
You've been iced for two months!
540
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,034
- Two months?
- Nice work, Clay.
541
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,836
Um... Well, we've
been we've been trying
542
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,336
to break you out the whole time.
543
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,739
And hell, I got shot twice.
544
00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:41,575
I never got shot,
but I did put a lot of
545
00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:44,678
personal projects
aside trying to save you.
546
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,014
I never realized
547
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:48,347
how much we relied on
your leadership before.
548
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,615
I mean, I don't want to say
549
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,818
things were a disaster
in your absence,
550
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,921
but they weren't not a disaster.
551
00:20:53,988 --> 00:20:55,555
In fact, things got so dire
552
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:56,957
we finally got desperate enough
553
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,492
to try the talking block
of mud's stupid plan.
554
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,638
Which was a rousing success!
555
00:21:01,662 --> 00:21:02,938
Thank you very much. [chuckles]
556
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,865
You see, usually
penguin only hires
557
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:06,732
the most distinguished waiters.
558
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,001
Which is why I had to develop
559
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,635
my Francois character.
560
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,379
[enthusiastically]
He was born...
561
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,882
to a scullery maid...
Okay, thank you!
562
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,618
So, in the last two
months, did I miss anything
563
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,845
other than Clayface's
long-winded backstories?
564
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,046
Harley, just come with me.
565
00:21:20,814 --> 00:21:22,763
[door creaks]
566
00:21:25,919 --> 00:21:28,555
So after the goons
fell back in line,
567
00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:31,391
the Injustice League
carved up the city.
568
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,359
They call it new New Gotham.
569
00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:38,425
Which is... I mean,
I can't even...
570
00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,377
[Two-Face] If you
just played the game
571
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,978
you wouldn't have
ended up like this. [laughs]
572
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,005
[Mr. Freeze] You
did this to yourself.
573
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,740
[Bane mumbling]
574
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,020
[Riddler] Who's the
biggest fool of all?
575
00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:51,045
You!
576
00:21:52,913 --> 00:21:54,548
You were right all along, Ive.
577
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,750
I shoulda taken
control from the start.
578
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,819
Riddler, Two-Face, Freeze, Bane.
579
00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:01,387
I'm taking 'em all down.
580
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:05,424
And when I'm done,
Gotham is gonna be...
581
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:06,625
mine!
582
00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:08,428
[thunderclap]
583
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,631
[Poison Ivy] Cool.
584
00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:13,775
[male nurse] Yeah. We pulled him
from the Joker Tower rubble months ago.
585
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,068
He's been in a coma ever since.
586
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,670
The swelling
should've gone down.
587
00:22:16,737 --> 00:22:19,839
Let me just...
- Oh, my God. -[Gasps]
588
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,441
It's... Bruce Wayne.
589
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:24,678
[theme music playing]
40873
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