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1
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:04,466
(coins drop in cash register)
2
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,152
- [Female Attendant]
Ground floor, perfumeries,
3
00:00:07,152 --> 00:00:09,921
stationery, and leather
goods, wigs and haberdashery,
4
00:00:09,921 --> 00:00:12,076
kitchenware, and food, going up.
5
00:00:12,076 --> 00:00:14,493
(horn music)
6
00:00:17,236 --> 00:00:20,062
First floor, telephones,
gents ready made suits,
7
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,406
shirts, socks, ties.
8
00:00:21,406 --> 00:00:23,533
- Captain Peacock's
coming up in the lift now.
9
00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:25,734
- Right, places everybody.
Places, quickly.
10
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:29,203
Now, as soon as the lift gates
open, you will all applaud,
11
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,832
and then I shall present Captain Peacock
12
00:00:30,832 --> 00:00:32,866
with his 20-year service badge, hmm?
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,513
- Rather an emotional moment, isn't it?
14
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,774
- Twenty years in this place.
15
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,372
It's almost as much as
the train robbers got.
16
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,205
(lift bell dings)
17
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,779
(group applauds)
18
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:41,841
- How unexpected.
19
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,395
- Captain Peacock, in
acknowledgement of your--
20
00:00:43,395 --> 00:00:45,277
Mr. Lucas, the button!
21
00:00:45,277 --> 00:00:46,707
- Oh.
22
00:00:46,707 --> 00:00:48,462
- Too late. I've lost him.
23
00:00:48,462 --> 00:00:50,467
- Cut off in his moment of glory.
24
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,627
- He's gone down to the bargain basement.
25
00:00:52,627 --> 00:00:54,325
- Shouldn't we just follow him?
26
00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:55,653
- Quick, yes, into the other lift.
27
00:00:55,653 --> 00:00:56,953
Quickly now, come on.
28
00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:58,012
We shall go and catch him up.
29
00:00:58,012 --> 00:01:01,241
Press the button, Mr. Lucas.
- Right.
30
00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:02,696
- Just a minute, he's coming,
31
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,453
the lift's coming up again!
32
00:01:04,453 --> 00:01:06,209
He's coming back.
33
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:08,392
They've gone, stupid lot.
34
00:01:08,392 --> 00:01:09,905
(lift bell dings)
35
00:01:09,905 --> 00:01:12,068
- May I say that this
comes as a great sur--
36
00:01:12,068 --> 00:01:12,901
Where are they?
37
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:15,418
- They've gone down to the
basement with your medal.
38
00:01:15,418 --> 00:01:16,835
- Oh, how stupid.
39
00:01:18,690 --> 00:01:21,773
- Just a minute, they're coming back.
40
00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:24,683
- We missed him.
41
00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:25,965
- Well, you've just missed him again.
42
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,805
He's gone down to the
basement to look for you.
43
00:01:27,805 --> 00:01:29,529
(employees exclaim)
44
00:01:29,529 --> 00:01:31,322
- We seek him here. We seek him there.
45
00:01:31,322 --> 00:01:35,674
It's like looking for
the Scarlet Pimpernel.
46
00:01:35,674 --> 00:01:37,510
- Hang on, he's back again. He's coming.
47
00:01:37,510 --> 00:01:40,510
- Oh, places everybody. Quickly now.
48
00:01:43,373 --> 00:01:44,395
(lift bell dings)
I'd like to say
49
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,247
it gives me great pleasure--
50
00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:50,192
- Yeah, it gives me
great pleasure and all.
51
00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:51,744
- Oh, this is ridiculous.
52
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,536
I'm going back to me counter.
53
00:01:53,536 --> 00:01:55,446
- The moment has rather lost its magic.
54
00:01:55,446 --> 00:01:57,929
- Oh yes, send him to my
office when he comes in.
55
00:01:57,929 --> 00:01:59,313
- I say! I say!
56
00:01:59,313 --> 00:02:01,682
I say!
(panting)
57
00:02:01,682 --> 00:02:03,111
I'm here.
58
00:02:03,111 --> 00:02:05,028
- Places, everybody.
59
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:05,861
- [Stephen] Oh,
60
00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:06,987
oh,
61
00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:08,580
oh.
62
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:10,639
- Captain Peacock, in acknowledgement
63
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,126
of your 20 years' service
here at Grace Brothers,
64
00:02:13,126 --> 00:02:16,992
it gives me much pleasure to
present you with this badge.
65
00:02:16,992 --> 00:02:19,684
The letters G.B. in 22-carat gold.
66
00:02:19,684 --> 00:02:20,517
- Plate.
67
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:24,364
- It comes as a complete surprise to me
68
00:02:24,364 --> 00:02:27,947
and I am most touched,
not to say, honored.
69
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,495
- In addition, and as a special token
70
00:02:31,495 --> 00:02:33,974
of your particularly
excellent service here,
71
00:02:33,974 --> 00:02:36,330
the management are taking the unusual step
72
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,769
of presenting you with this key.
73
00:02:38,769 --> 00:02:41,019
- What's it for? Your flat?
74
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:47,428
- It's the key to the executive washroom.
75
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:51,045
- The key to the executive washroom?
76
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:53,891
- I really didn't expect
this. It is, indeed, an honor.
77
00:02:53,891 --> 00:02:57,348
- The key to the executive washroom?
78
00:02:57,348 --> 00:03:01,415
I've served here for 35 years,
and I've never been once.
79
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,332
- You must be bursting.
80
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:06,343
- Well, I've been here longer than Peacock
81
00:03:06,343 --> 00:03:08,742
and I have to muck in with the rest.
82
00:03:08,742 --> 00:03:11,599
- Well, I have a further
announcement to make.
83
00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:14,207
- Oh, not another honor,
sir, that would be too much.
84
00:03:14,207 --> 00:03:15,713
- Yes, it would.
85
00:03:15,713 --> 00:03:18,405
No, this doesn't really
concern you directly.
86
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,560
I just wish to remind you all
87
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,352
about the change in the lunch break.
88
00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:23,249
(groans)
89
00:03:23,249 --> 00:03:26,382
Well, the management feels that
we are losing a lot of trade
90
00:03:26,382 --> 00:03:29,025
by closing between one
and two, so in future,
91
00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:31,837
we will take our lunch break
between two and three, hmm?
92
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,689
- I don't think my stomach
can hang out that long.
93
00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:38,269
- Well, it's been hanging
out for the last 10 years.
94
00:03:38,269 --> 00:03:41,280
- Mr. Grainger, would
you inform your junior
95
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,979
that if he doesn't watch his
tongue when speaking to a lady,
96
00:03:44,979 --> 00:03:47,297
he'll get a bat 'round the ear hole.
97
00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:48,130
(bell rings)
98
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,213
- Ah, store's open. To your counters.
99
00:03:52,214 --> 00:03:53,483
Captain Peacock, one more thing.
100
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,400
- Yes, sir.
101
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,705
- Regarding your application
for an increase in salary.
102
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:00,761
- Oh, yes.
103
00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,387
- It has not been approved.
104
00:04:02,387 --> 00:04:04,587
- Indeed. I'm sorry to hear that.
105
00:04:04,587 --> 00:04:06,139
- I am, however, here to tell you
106
00:04:06,139 --> 00:04:08,424
that the management has
seen fit to extend to you
107
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:11,879
the privilege of using
the executive dining room.
108
00:04:11,879 --> 00:04:14,485
- The executive dining room?
109
00:04:14,485 --> 00:04:16,075
- See you at lunch, Stephen.
110
00:04:16,075 --> 00:04:17,908
- Thank you, Cuthbert.
111
00:04:19,004 --> 00:04:20,874
- It's still Mr. Rumbold.
112
00:04:20,874 --> 00:04:23,517
- I'm sorry, sir. Please forgive me.
113
00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:26,204
The key to the executive
washroom went to my head.
114
00:04:26,204 --> 00:04:27,954
- I quite understand.
115
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:31,166
(keys jingle)
116
00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,416
- Look at him flaunting it.
117
00:04:34,504 --> 00:04:37,069
I've wanted that key all my life.
118
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,781
- Well, you're not
management, Mr. Grainger.
119
00:04:38,781 --> 00:04:40,771
- No, you're not even
in line for the throne.
120
00:04:40,771 --> 00:04:43,354
(lift bell dings)
121
00:04:43,354 --> 00:04:44,816
- Are you being served, sir?
122
00:04:44,816 --> 00:04:45,649
- Well, it's hardly likely.
123
00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:47,984
I've just stepped out of the lift.
124
00:04:47,984 --> 00:04:49,934
- In that case, I will
rephrase the question.
125
00:04:49,934 --> 00:04:51,074
Can I help you, sir?
126
00:04:51,074 --> 00:04:52,706
- I'm looking for a bow.
127
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:56,319
- A bow. Tie, violin, or Robin Hood?
128
00:04:56,319 --> 00:04:57,378
- Very funny.
129
00:04:57,378 --> 00:04:58,556
- Oh, do forgive me, sir.
130
00:04:58,556 --> 00:05:00,065
I'm in a rather frivolous mood today.
131
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:01,241
You see, this is my anniversary.
132
00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:03,927
I've been with Grace
Brothers 20 years now.
133
00:05:03,927 --> 00:05:05,921
- Well, in that case
you'll know where I can buy
134
00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:07,421
a clip-on bow tie.
135
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:10,513
- A clip-on bow tie.
136
00:05:10,513 --> 00:05:11,977
- Yes, a clip-on bow
tie. You know the sort.
137
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,310
- I know what they are, sir.
138
00:05:19,295 --> 00:05:20,635
Mr. Grainger, are you free?
139
00:05:20,635 --> 00:05:22,713
- Yes, I'm free.
140
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:25,682
- This gentleman wants a clip-on bow tie.
141
00:05:25,682 --> 00:05:27,349
- A clip-on bow tie?
142
00:05:28,442 --> 00:05:30,717
- A clip-on bow tie.
143
00:05:30,717 --> 00:05:31,550
- Well, I'm very sorry.
144
00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:34,216
I'm afraid I can't help
you, Captain Peacock.
145
00:05:34,216 --> 00:05:37,713
I'm just going to the staff bog.
146
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:40,361
- Indeed, Mr. Grainger.
147
00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:44,836
- Mr. Humphries, are you
available for a clip-on bow tie?
148
00:05:44,836 --> 00:05:47,236
- I have never been available
for a clip-on bow tie,
149
00:05:47,236 --> 00:05:49,036
Mr. Grainger.
150
00:05:49,036 --> 00:05:50,307
Mr. Lucas will attend to the customer.
151
00:05:50,307 --> 00:05:52,056
Forward, Mr. Lucas.
152
00:05:52,056 --> 00:05:53,521
- Thank you very much, Mr. Humphries.
153
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,354
Good morning, sir.
154
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,163
Did I hear you say you were
interested in a clip-on bow tie?
155
00:05:56,163 --> 00:05:56,996
- That's right.
156
00:05:56,996 --> 00:05:58,034
- Please step this way.
157
00:05:58,034 --> 00:06:00,582
Would you be kind enough to
just take your tie off, sir?
158
00:06:00,582 --> 00:06:01,915
Let me help you.
159
00:06:03,309 --> 00:06:06,807
Now then, they we are,
sir. One clip-on bow tie.
160
00:06:06,807 --> 00:06:08,479
The springs on these are
very strong, you know.
161
00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:12,312
So strong, we sell quite
a lot as mouse traps.
162
00:06:13,396 --> 00:06:14,900
There we are.
163
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,078
- How's it look?
164
00:06:16,078 --> 00:06:17,259
- How does it look, Mr. Humphries?
165
00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:18,618
- Awful.
166
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:19,556
- What do you mean?
167
00:06:19,556 --> 00:06:21,873
- Oh, it's not your fault,
sir. It's the clip-on bow tie.
168
00:06:21,873 --> 00:06:23,702
- Well, why are you trying
to sell me an awful tie?
169
00:06:23,702 --> 00:06:24,962
- We're not trying to sell it to you, sir.
170
00:06:24,962 --> 00:06:26,870
You said you wanted it.
171
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,862
- You see, nobody's wearing
them much at the moment.
172
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:31,019
- No, 'cept you.
173
00:06:31,019 --> 00:06:33,197
What occasion was it
you wanted it for, sir?
174
00:06:33,197 --> 00:06:36,286
- Well, it's an army reunion.
175
00:06:36,286 --> 00:06:37,552
(clicking tongues)
176
00:06:37,552 --> 00:06:39,017
- [Both] Oh, no.
177
00:06:39,017 --> 00:06:40,601
- Sir wouldn't want the
rest of his regiment
178
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,920
to think he'd gone to the dogs, would he?
179
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,954
- What are you talking about?
I've got my own building firm.
180
00:06:44,954 --> 00:06:47,068
- Well, no one would ever guess it, sir,
181
00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:48,945
in a bow tie like that.
182
00:06:48,945 --> 00:06:50,124
- Well, what do you suggest?
183
00:06:50,124 --> 00:06:52,235
- Well, sir, excuse me,
for two pounds, sir,
184
00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:55,850
you could have a pre-tied
velvet on a piece of elastic.
185
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,391
A lot of people are wearing
these, aren't they Mr. Lucas?
186
00:06:57,391 --> 00:06:58,224
- Oh, yes they are.
187
00:06:58,224 --> 00:06:59,993
Yes they are, they are,
they are Mr. Humphries, yes.
188
00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:02,109
That is, of course, if they
can't afford a proper one.
189
00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:04,141
- Proper one? What do
you mean, a proper one?
190
00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:05,892
- Hand-made, watered silk.
191
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,653
- Hmm, let's have a look.
192
00:07:08,653 --> 00:07:10,361
- They are five pounds.
193
00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:12,477
- Well, it's all right. I can afford that.
194
00:07:12,477 --> 00:07:13,310
- Sale, Mr. Lucas.
195
00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:15,568
- I'll make out the bill, Mr. Humphries.
196
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,763
- Only thing is, how do you tie it?
197
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:20,370
- There's a diagram inside the box.
198
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,565
- Well, show me how you tie yours.
199
00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:23,948
- Oh, I couldn't possibly do that.
200
00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:26,198
I always wear one of these.
201
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,246
- So I said to him, I
said, young man, I said,
202
00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:33,823
if you don't take your
hand off my knee at once,
203
00:07:33,823 --> 00:07:36,873
I'm getting off this bar
stool and going home.
204
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,765
- And did he?
205
00:07:37,765 --> 00:07:39,149
- He did not.
206
00:07:39,149 --> 00:07:39,982
- So you went home?
207
00:07:39,982 --> 00:07:41,065
- Eventually.
208
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:46,667
Anyway, he's taking me to the
pictures tonight to apologize.
209
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,597
I do hope he behaves
himself on the back row.
210
00:07:49,597 --> 00:07:51,586
- How do you know you're
gonna be in the back row?
211
00:07:51,586 --> 00:07:52,753
- I've booked.
212
00:07:55,159 --> 00:07:55,992
- Morning, ladies.
213
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:57,277
- Oh, good morning Mr. Mash.
214
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,335
- Here we are, then. Six jumpers.
215
00:08:00,335 --> 00:08:02,252
Six pairs of ear muffs.
216
00:08:05,699 --> 00:08:08,751
And I brought up these 24 pairs of
217
00:08:08,751 --> 00:08:10,663
Sensi-Touch rubber gloves.
218
00:08:10,663 --> 00:08:12,996
- Sensi-Touch rubber gloves?
219
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,360
- Been listenin' to the
Archer's lately, have ya?
220
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,007
(blows raspberries)
221
00:08:19,007 --> 00:08:22,387
- Ew, you're as common as muck.
222
00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:24,220
- They should be in
the kitchen department.
223
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,050
- Well, they are, but they
ordered a thousand pairs
224
00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:28,492
too many, you see, they want to shift 'em.
225
00:08:28,492 --> 00:08:32,055
Oh, I've got a Sensi-Touch
display model, as well.
226
00:08:32,055 --> 00:08:35,222
Hey, hey. There you are, look at that.
227
00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:38,527
Airtight and watertight, guaranteed.
228
00:08:38,527 --> 00:08:40,967
- But what's it for?
229
00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:44,060
- Oh, wash-a-day hands,
what you care for so much,
230
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:48,060
can still play the piano
with a sensitive touch.
231
00:08:54,178 --> 00:08:58,345
- Did you ever see anything
so awful in all your life?
232
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:02,915
- I don't make 'em,
lady. I just deliver 'em.
233
00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:06,332
As the midwife said to the bishop. Ha ha!
234
00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:09,661
- Captain Peacock.
235
00:09:11,415 --> 00:09:13,286
Captain Peacock!
236
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,794
Are you free?
237
00:09:14,794 --> 00:09:17,711
- Not at the moment, Mrs. Slocombe.
238
00:09:19,181 --> 00:09:21,545
Can I help you, madame?
239
00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:23,660
- No, thank you.
240
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:26,660
- Are you free now, Captain Peacock?
241
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,567
- Yes, Mrs. Slocombe.
242
00:09:30,418 --> 00:09:33,877
- Just look at this monstrosity.
243
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:36,808
- I have already seen this
excellent display model,
244
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:38,600
approved it, and given authority
245
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,227
for it to be used on your counter.
246
00:09:40,227 --> 00:09:44,706
- I see. Then I shall have to
go through you to Mr. Rumbold.
247
00:09:44,706 --> 00:09:46,736
- Are you sure you want to question
248
00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:49,178
the decision of your
superior, Mrs. Slocombe?
249
00:09:49,178 --> 00:09:51,499
- Captain Peacock, you may have the key
250
00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:53,526
to the top person's toilet,
251
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,359
but you are in no way my superior.
252
00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:00,584
- And women live longer than men.
253
00:10:01,897 --> 00:10:03,892
- I don't see what that has to do with it.
254
00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:07,345
- I know, but I just thought I'd tell you.
255
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:08,769
- For the last time, Mrs. Slocombe,
256
00:10:08,769 --> 00:10:10,844
do you wish to question my judgment?
257
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:14,462
- Yes, Captain Solomon Peacock, I do.
258
00:10:14,462 --> 00:10:15,844
- In that case, I shall
have to put the matter
259
00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:17,716
before Mr. Rumbold without further delay.
260
00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:18,549
- Good.
261
00:10:18,549 --> 00:10:20,195
- And may I say that I
disapprove of your using
262
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:22,845
this rude tone to me in front of a junior.
263
00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:25,653
- Captain Peacock, I'm so sorry.
264
00:10:25,653 --> 00:10:28,015
Miss Brahms, would you
mind removing yourself
265
00:10:28,015 --> 00:10:30,133
a few paces and covering your ears?
266
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,883
- Yes, Mrs. Slocombe.
267
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,460
- Pompous twit.
268
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,702
- What will you do if Rumbold approves?
269
00:10:41,702 --> 00:10:44,633
- I'm not taking any chances.
Pass me the scissors.
270
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:48,501
- Just once more. I think
we're getting somewhere.
271
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:50,977
Little bit closer. Yes.
272
00:10:50,977 --> 00:10:52,360
Now.
273
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,527
Up and over, make a bow, through
the hole, and there we go.
274
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,891
It's quite simple, isn't it, sir?
275
00:10:59,891 --> 00:11:02,141
Now, I'll have a go on you.
276
00:11:03,144 --> 00:11:04,561
Ah-ha! Wrong way.
277
00:11:06,928 --> 00:11:09,609
Up and over, make a
bow, through the hole...
278
00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:12,109
- Mrs. Slocombe, are you free?
279
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,785
- At the moment, yes.
280
00:11:15,785 --> 00:11:17,777
- I have told Mr. Rumbold
that you wish to defy
281
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:21,641
my executive decision that
the Sensi-Touch display unit
282
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:23,349
is suitable for your counter,
283
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,321
and he has come over to
give his executive ruling
284
00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:28,365
to dispose of the matter once and for all.
285
00:11:28,365 --> 00:11:30,516
- Yes, well I haven't
actually seen it before,
286
00:11:30,516 --> 00:11:32,389
but I'm sure if Captain Peacock likes it,
287
00:11:32,389 --> 00:11:33,530
then it must be all right.
288
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:36,335
- Oh, it's right up
Captain Peacock's street.
289
00:11:36,335 --> 00:11:38,418
May I show you?
- Please.
290
00:11:39,475 --> 00:11:42,642
(blowing raspberries)
291
00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:53,378
(lift bell dings)
(coins drop in cash register)
292
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:57,821
- Can I help you, sir?
293
00:11:57,821 --> 00:11:59,531
- The ladies, please.
294
00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:01,708
- Lingerie or powder room?
295
00:12:01,708 --> 00:12:03,701
- I'd hardly be wanting the powder room.
296
00:12:03,701 --> 00:12:04,847
- Just a little joke, sir.
297
00:12:04,847 --> 00:12:05,847
- Only just.
298
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,003
- Mrs. Slocombe.
299
00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:10,507
- May I assist you, sir?
300
00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:12,015
- Yes, I want to buy a dress.
301
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:14,458
- Certainly, sir. About what age group?
302
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:15,515
- Fortyish.
303
00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:20,110
- Oh, the younger middle-age
range, quickly Miss Brahms.
304
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:21,734
And about what size?
305
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,076
- It's for me.
306
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,576
- Hold the range, Miss Brahms.
307
00:12:27,351 --> 00:12:28,649
I beg your pardon, sir.
308
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:30,153
- It's for a fancy dress party.
309
00:12:30,153 --> 00:12:31,906
- Oh, I see.
310
00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:32,882
- All the men are going as girls,
311
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,755
and all the girls are going as men.
312
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,263
- How amusing.
313
00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:37,596
- Yes, very gay.
314
00:12:38,637 --> 00:12:40,137
Tape, Miss Brahms.
315
00:12:42,255 --> 00:12:45,588
Would sir raise his arms?
- Here we are.
316
00:12:50,847 --> 00:12:54,631
- Forty-two, including the spectacle case.
317
00:12:54,631 --> 00:12:56,580
Will sir be wearing any padding?
318
00:12:56,580 --> 00:13:00,318
- Well I thought a couple of
oranges would get a big laugh.
319
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:03,235
- Tangerines will get a bigger one.
320
00:13:04,544 --> 00:13:06,862
- I want something under 10 pounds.
321
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:11,418
- Something from the cotton
seconds, Miss Brahms,
322
00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:14,271
from the maternity range.
323
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,409
- Can I try it on?
324
00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:18,225
- Not in my department, you can't.
325
00:13:18,225 --> 00:13:22,392
You'll have to use the men's.
Captain Peacock, are you free?
326
00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:25,824
- You called me, Mrs. Slocombe.
327
00:13:25,824 --> 00:13:28,625
- This gentleman is
going to a fancy dress do
328
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:32,452
and wishes to use the gents'
facilities to try it on.
329
00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:34,858
- Yes, the gentlemen's department
would be more suitable.
330
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:36,120
This way, if you please, sir.
331
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,765
- [Customer] Thank you.
332
00:13:38,765 --> 00:13:40,796
- Mr. Grainger, are you free?
333
00:13:40,796 --> 00:13:42,380
- I'm sorry, Captain Peacock,
334
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:46,547
but I'm just going to have
my coffee in the staff case.
335
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:49,584
Mr. Humphries, are you free?
336
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:51,829
- I'm busy pricing my
ties, Captain Peacock.
337
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:53,541
- The gentleman wishes to try on a dress.
338
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,254
- I'm free.
339
00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:58,254
(audience applauds)
340
00:13:59,659 --> 00:14:01,579
- It's for a fancy dress party.
341
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,329
- Oh, yes sir, they all say that.
342
00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:11,050
- Well they're, they're
throwing very nicely, sir.
343
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,010
Yes, they're very snug, too.
344
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:14,804
- They're too snug, I'm afraid.
345
00:14:14,804 --> 00:14:18,188
I need a larger size
in jacket and trousers.
346
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:19,288
- Oh dear.
347
00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:22,834
- Perhaps I should try
something with a bold check.
348
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,084
- A bold check.
349
00:14:26,751 --> 00:14:28,263
- I'll hang this up here for you sir,
350
00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:30,680
while you transform yourself.
351
00:14:31,732 --> 00:14:32,711
- [Customer] I've got it on.
352
00:14:32,711 --> 00:14:34,794
- Oh, have you. Oh, good.
353
00:14:37,604 --> 00:14:39,355
- Yes, I'm afraid we
haven't got much in check.
354
00:14:39,355 --> 00:14:41,478
Ah, here we are, sir, how 'bout this one?
355
00:14:41,478 --> 00:14:42,311
- Ah, yes.
356
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,982
- What do you think? Is it me?
357
00:14:48,982 --> 00:14:51,714
- Well, it's certainly not the dress.
358
00:14:51,714 --> 00:14:54,700
- You know, I don't know why men do it.
359
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,658
He's gonna look awful in a dress.
360
00:14:56,658 --> 00:14:59,667
- Yeah, he didn't look all
that much in the trousers.
361
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,677
- Ah, there we are, sir.
362
00:15:01,677 --> 00:15:04,323
And there's your old jacket
and trousers in the bag.
363
00:15:04,323 --> 00:15:06,396
- Excellent fit. It feels worn in already.
364
00:15:06,396 --> 00:15:07,694
- Yes, very nice.
365
00:15:07,694 --> 00:15:10,172
We sold one of those to Robin
Day the other day, you know.
366
00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:14,339
When he retires, he's gonna
work as the test card.
367
00:15:16,229 --> 00:15:17,688
- What have you done with that check suit?
368
00:15:17,688 --> 00:15:19,472
- Sold to my customer, Mr. Humphries.
369
00:15:19,472 --> 00:15:20,722
- Oh, our Aida.
370
00:15:22,678 --> 00:15:25,850
- They never should've
let Mr. Humphries fit him.
371
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,477
He's been in there for hours.
372
00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:31,644
- He's probably trying to
chat him into an handbag.
373
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:35,949
- You'll just have to give
me a new suit, that's all!
374
00:15:35,949 --> 00:15:37,061
- I'm sorry, sir.
375
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,177
I'll, I'll, I'll try
and find you something.
376
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:40,316
Look, you better wait in here.
377
00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:41,863
- I can't. I'm dying to spend a penny.
378
00:15:41,863 --> 00:15:43,696
- Oh, well look, here.
379
00:15:45,521 --> 00:15:49,688
Hitch your skirt up and
speak with a Scottish accent.
380
00:15:53,046 --> 00:15:57,809
- Can I help you, sir or
madame, as the case may be?
381
00:15:57,809 --> 00:15:59,598
- I want the gents.
382
00:15:59,598 --> 00:16:01,004
- The top of the stairs.
383
00:16:01,004 --> 00:16:01,837
- Thanks.
384
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:02,898
- You should've used the powder room
385
00:16:02,898 --> 00:16:05,065
when I first suggested it.
386
00:16:09,691 --> 00:16:11,859
(lift bell dings)
(coins drop in cash register)
387
00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:13,852
- What time is it?
388
00:16:13,852 --> 00:16:14,685
- One o'clock.
389
00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:15,681
- Oh, another hour to lunch.
390
00:16:15,681 --> 00:16:19,023
I wonder if Mr. Grainger
will lend me his chair.
391
00:16:19,023 --> 00:16:20,693
- You do look a bit peaky, Mr. Humphries.
392
00:16:20,693 --> 00:16:22,938
- Well, I'm not surprised.
I've had no breakfast.
393
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:25,099
A friend of mine was supposed
to do some shopping for me,
394
00:16:25,099 --> 00:16:26,280
and he let me down.
395
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,219
This morning, I got up.
396
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,012
I thought, ooh I wonder
what's in the fridge.
397
00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,009
When I got there, the cupboard was bare.
398
00:16:31,009 --> 00:16:32,715
- Well, that's not like
you, Mr. Humphries.
399
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:37,351
- It's not. I usually keep a
bit of something tucked away.
400
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:39,338
- You never know when it's
gonna be a rainy day, do you?
401
00:16:39,338 --> 00:16:40,194
- That's true.
402
00:16:40,194 --> 00:16:42,271
Anyway, I found an egg
and I boiled some water,
403
00:16:42,271 --> 00:16:44,143
and do you know, could
I find my egg timer?
404
00:16:44,143 --> 00:16:45,310
- No.
- Right.
405
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:49,347
So I picked up the phone
and I dialed the operator.
406
00:16:49,347 --> 00:16:50,814
- Did he know where your egg timer was?
407
00:16:50,814 --> 00:16:52,480
- No.
- Surprising.
408
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,255
- I'll smack your wrists in a minute.
409
00:16:55,255 --> 00:16:57,535
Anyway, I said to him, could
I have an alarm call, please,
410
00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:59,038
at three minutes past eight.
411
00:16:59,038 --> 00:17:00,751
He said, it's eight o'clock already.
412
00:17:00,751 --> 00:17:04,292
I said, I know that,
but I'm boiling an egg.
413
00:17:04,292 --> 00:17:07,517
He got quite nasty, but
he had a very nice voice.
414
00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:09,387
Anyway, by the time we'd made it up,
415
00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:11,665
the water had boiled dry,
the egg was like a golf ball,
416
00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:13,980
and I had to run for me bus.
417
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:16,666
- There must be something
in the factoriette.
418
00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:19,431
Delaying our canteen
lunch is a contravention
419
00:17:19,431 --> 00:17:20,691
of human rights.
420
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:21,954
- Eating our canteen lunch
421
00:17:21,954 --> 00:17:24,401
is a contravention of human rights.
422
00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:26,801
- I'm going to phone
the factory inspector.
423
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,063
- I know how he feels.
424
00:17:28,063 --> 00:17:30,179
Oh, if my wind gets any worse,
425
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,581
I'll have to hoist gale warnings.
426
00:17:32,581 --> 00:17:33,414
I can't stand this.
427
00:17:33,414 --> 00:17:36,036
I'm gonna see if I can organize something.
428
00:17:36,036 --> 00:17:37,788
- Ooh, I'm starving.
429
00:17:37,788 --> 00:17:41,647
- So am I, but I've taken
steps to keep going.
430
00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:44,819
Quick, while Peacock's not looking.
431
00:17:44,819 --> 00:17:46,488
- [Wendy] A coffee percolator!
432
00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:49,135
- Yeah. It'll be percing any minute.
433
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,380
- Oh, smashing, I could just do with that.
434
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:53,547
Hang on, Peacock's coming.
435
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,450
- Looking forward to your lunch, ladies?
436
00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:01,743
- By two o'clock, that canteen
will seem like the Savoy.
437
00:18:01,743 --> 00:18:04,144
- Yes, I'm sorry I shan't be
joining you there, as usual.
438
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:07,201
- Oh, going on a diet? Again?
439
00:18:07,201 --> 00:18:11,189
- No, but not only have I the
key to the executive washroom,
440
00:18:11,189 --> 00:18:13,428
but from now on I shall be taking my lunch
441
00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:15,220
in the executive restaurant.
442
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,809
I just thought you'd like to know.
443
00:18:16,809 --> 00:18:20,382
- Oh, you're lord mutton now, aren't ya?
444
00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:21,215
- Yes.
445
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:23,926
I'm rather looking forward to it.
446
00:18:23,926 --> 00:18:26,000
It will be very nice to
have a choice of wine
447
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,513
with one's chicken fricassee.
448
00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:32,432
- Oh is that what they
call the rissoles up there?
449
00:18:32,432 --> 00:18:34,265
- I could do with a rissole right now.
450
00:18:34,265 --> 00:18:36,293
- When I was in the
western desert, of course,
451
00:18:36,293 --> 00:18:39,667
we were trained to go for long periods
452
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:40,924
without food and water.
453
00:18:40,924 --> 00:18:43,692
- You learned it from
the camels, I suppose.
454
00:18:43,692 --> 00:18:44,990
- I was just making the point
455
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,983
that I'm able to cope with the situation
456
00:18:46,983 --> 00:18:48,207
more easily than you are.
457
00:18:48,207 --> 00:18:49,424
- Don't worry about me.
458
00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:52,187
My stomach can hold on
as long as yours can.
459
00:18:52,187 --> 00:18:55,270
(percolator bubbles)
460
00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:59,597
- Rommel would've heard
that from 10 miles away.
461
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,346
- Have you phoned the factories inspector?
462
00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:04,030
- No, no, I had a change of heart.
463
00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:06,269
I've been very well treated at Grace's,
464
00:19:06,269 --> 00:19:08,956
and it won't be very long before I retire.
465
00:19:08,956 --> 00:19:12,499
I wouldn't like to be
branded as a trouble-maker.
466
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,024
- A word in your ear, Ernest.
467
00:19:15,024 --> 00:19:17,340
- Yes, Captain Peacock.
468
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,073
- I'm sorry if my elevation
469
00:19:19,073 --> 00:19:21,185
to the executive washroom upset you.
470
00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:24,311
I mean, I could have refused it, but well,
471
00:19:24,311 --> 00:19:26,014
that might have been
construed as taking a stand
472
00:19:26,014 --> 00:19:27,805
against the management.
473
00:19:27,805 --> 00:19:29,673
- Yes, Captain Peacock.
474
00:19:29,673 --> 00:19:32,514
I think you'll be far better off standing
475
00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:34,058
with the management.
476
00:19:34,058 --> 00:19:36,013
- I'm glad you see it that way.
477
00:19:36,013 --> 00:19:38,570
- Oh, it's only just that,
478
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:42,023
I had hoped that one day
I should have that key.
479
00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:44,381
- Well, er, no hard feelings then, Ernest?
480
00:19:44,381 --> 00:19:46,950
- Oh, no hard feelings at all.
481
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:50,854
I'd be delighted if you'd
have lunch with me today
482
00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:52,886
in the canteen.
483
00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:54,712
- Well, I'm afraid I can't.
484
00:19:54,712 --> 00:19:57,478
You see, from now on I
have to take my lunch
485
00:19:57,478 --> 00:20:00,285
in the executive dining room.
486
00:20:00,285 --> 00:20:03,214
- The ex-ex-executive dining room?
487
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:05,381
The executive dining room?
488
00:20:06,222 --> 00:20:07,606
- Glass of water for Mr. Grainger.
489
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,396
- I don't want a glass of water.
490
00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:11,313
Where's that telephone?
491
00:20:15,624 --> 00:20:17,494
- Tell your stomach everything's
all right. I've fixed it.
492
00:20:17,494 --> 00:20:19,568
All we gotta do is get
Peacock off the floor.
493
00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:20,420
- Have you got some sandwiches?
494
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,435
- No, I've done better than that.
495
00:20:21,435 --> 00:20:23,185
- Get rid of Peacock.
496
00:20:26,945 --> 00:20:29,528
(phone buzzes)
497
00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:33,731
- Slocombe, ladies.
498
00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:35,152
- Oh, hello Mrs. Slocombe.
499
00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:37,230
It's Miss Williams here, accounts.
500
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,222
Could you tell Captain Peacock
that one of his figures
501
00:20:39,222 --> 00:20:42,435
is in dispute, and we'd like
to see him up here immediately?
502
00:20:42,435 --> 00:20:45,362
- Very well. Captain Peacock?
503
00:20:45,362 --> 00:20:46,908
- Yes, Mrs. Slocombe.
504
00:20:46,908 --> 00:20:48,703
- You're wanted in accounts.
505
00:20:48,703 --> 00:20:50,953
- Thank you, Mrs. Slocombe.
506
00:20:52,365 --> 00:20:54,152
- Mr. Humphries, I'm
wanted up in accounts.
507
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,427
- Are you really, Captain Peacock?
508
00:20:56,427 --> 00:20:58,257
- Yes, Mr. Humphries.
509
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,246
Would you take over for me while I'm away?
510
00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:02,078
- Would you like me to
take over standing here
511
00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,421
or walking about?
512
00:21:03,421 --> 00:21:05,126
- Don't be facetious, Mr. Humphries.
513
00:21:05,126 --> 00:21:06,811
- That's a perfectly proper question.
514
00:21:06,811 --> 00:21:09,170
- And my answer is that I
wish you to take over for me
515
00:21:09,170 --> 00:21:10,998
as floor walker while I'm away.
516
00:21:10,998 --> 00:21:13,415
- Very well, Captain Peacock.
517
00:21:29,311 --> 00:21:32,295
Another word out of you, and
you'll go back to the window.
518
00:21:32,295 --> 00:21:33,354
- Psst.
- Hmm?
519
00:21:33,354 --> 00:21:34,187
- Stop messing about.
520
00:21:34,187 --> 00:21:38,354
Now get up by the lift and
press the button three times.
521
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,369
(whistles)
522
00:21:47,591 --> 00:21:49,462
(lift bell dings)
523
00:21:49,462 --> 00:21:51,249
- Welcome to messes' meals on wheels.
524
00:21:51,249 --> 00:21:53,237
Get your soup or plate.
525
00:21:53,237 --> 00:21:57,192
My rigatoni or mine-strone,
steaming hot or already blowed.
526
00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:59,525
Come on in, here we go then.
527
00:22:00,609 --> 00:22:04,144
Sorry, second seating in 10 minutes.
528
00:22:04,144 --> 00:22:05,692
- Ooh, rats.
529
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:09,119
(lift bell dings)
(coins drop in cash register)
530
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,421
(sighs)
531
00:22:10,421 --> 00:22:12,671
(slurping)
532
00:22:24,601 --> 00:22:27,184
- I never did like lentil soup.
533
00:22:34,212 --> 00:22:36,910
- [Humphries] What did you decide on?
534
00:22:36,910 --> 00:22:38,293
- Shepherd's pie.
535
00:22:38,293 --> 00:22:40,947
- You always did like adventure.
536
00:22:40,947 --> 00:22:44,242
- When I went past, the
flies were enjoyin' it.
537
00:22:44,242 --> 00:22:47,826
- Oh, never mind. Put plenty
of that brown sauce on.
538
00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:50,409
You won't see their footprints.
539
00:22:53,886 --> 00:22:56,365
- I'm really gonna enjoy this.
540
00:22:56,365 --> 00:22:57,707
What did you settle for, then?
541
00:22:57,707 --> 00:22:59,790
- Melon balls.
- Unusual.
542
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:04,835
- Mr. Grainger, would you
take a whiff of this pilchard
543
00:23:04,835 --> 00:23:06,789
and give me your opinion?
544
00:23:06,789 --> 00:23:09,270
- I'd rather not, Mrs. Slocombe.
545
00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:12,047
It might put me off my rollmopse herring.
546
00:23:12,047 --> 00:23:13,547
- I'll tell you one thing, Mrs. Slocombe,
547
00:23:13,547 --> 00:23:14,969
about that pilchard.
548
00:23:14,969 --> 00:23:17,089
It's definitely dead.
549
00:23:17,089 --> 00:23:18,431
- Yes, which is more than can be said
550
00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:20,851
for that green thing what's
walking across your lettuce.
551
00:23:20,851 --> 00:23:21,684
- Oh.
552
00:23:29,068 --> 00:23:32,201
- Tough little monkeys, aren't they?
553
00:23:32,201 --> 00:23:35,451
- They have to be, to eat that lettuce.
554
00:23:37,405 --> 00:23:38,238
- Got it.
555
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,251
Ew, it's right put me off eatin'.
556
00:23:42,251 --> 00:23:45,381
- It's given him hell
of an headache, as well.
557
00:23:45,381 --> 00:23:47,464
(slurps)
558
00:23:51,605 --> 00:23:53,438
- Isn't it disgustin'?
559
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:57,460
- That's nothing. He always
eats his soup like that.
560
00:23:57,460 --> 00:23:59,861
If you want something really disgusting,
561
00:23:59,861 --> 00:24:01,778
get him some spaghetti.
562
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,180
- I meant the conditions
563
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:07,640
in the staff canteen are disgusting.
564
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,810
Fancy having to wait
an extra hour for this.
565
00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:12,960
- I don't think it'll happen again.
566
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,990
- Mr. Grainger phoned
the factory inspector.
567
00:24:14,990 --> 00:24:16,740
- Well done, Mr. Grainger.
568
00:24:16,740 --> 00:24:17,838
- Yes, I did.
569
00:24:17,838 --> 00:24:22,639
But apparently Captain
Peacock had complained earlier
570
00:24:22,639 --> 00:24:25,564
about the extra late luncheon.
571
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:28,781
He said that it upset his desert stomach.
572
00:24:28,781 --> 00:24:30,287
- Yeah, the inspector
said they've got no right
573
00:24:30,287 --> 00:24:31,506
to make us eat late.
574
00:24:31,506 --> 00:24:32,645
Then he took one look at this place
575
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,474
and went off to see young Mr. Grace.
576
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:37,696
- I shall be interested
to hear his report.
577
00:24:37,696 --> 00:24:40,631
- If he had anything to eat
here, it'll be a loud one.
578
00:24:40,631 --> 00:24:45,277
- I expect they're taking him
to the executive dining room.
579
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:48,202
- Hello, there goes Rumbold.
580
00:24:48,202 --> 00:24:51,213
- I bet he doesn't get things
crawling about on his lettuce
581
00:24:51,213 --> 00:24:54,266
in the executive dining room.
582
00:24:54,266 --> 00:24:57,846
They don't care, you know,
as long as they're all right.
583
00:24:57,846 --> 00:25:00,933
- Hey, it's all right, isn't it? Eh?
584
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:03,251
Nice bit of shepherd's pie, that.
585
00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:06,101
- What are you doing, Mr. Mash?
586
00:25:06,101 --> 00:25:08,748
- Well, I'm bending my knees, ain't I?
587
00:25:08,748 --> 00:25:12,491
That makes my bottom
go plonk on the chair.
588
00:25:12,491 --> 00:25:14,280
It's called sitting down.
589
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,739
- This has always been
our departmental table.
590
00:25:17,739 --> 00:25:18,633
- Yeah, well I know that,
591
00:25:18,633 --> 00:25:20,258
but as Captain Peacock's
gone up in the world,
592
00:25:20,258 --> 00:25:22,577
I thought I'd take his place.
593
00:25:22,577 --> 00:25:26,494
- There's a vacancy over
there, by the pig bin.
594
00:25:28,142 --> 00:25:29,607
- Charming, innit, eh?
595
00:25:29,607 --> 00:25:31,438
One of these days, mates,
we'll all be equal.
596
00:25:31,438 --> 00:25:34,938
Then I'll be in the executive dining room.
597
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,538
- Hang on, here comes Peacock.
598
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:40,761
- Oh, making his maiden voyage
to the executive dining room.
599
00:25:40,761 --> 00:25:43,011
(clapping)
600
00:25:43,895 --> 00:25:45,491
- He didn't even speak to us.
601
00:25:45,491 --> 00:25:49,658
- All power corrupts. Absolute
power corrupts absolutely.
602
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:52,124
(slurps)
603
00:25:52,124 --> 00:25:54,374
- Snorkel for Mr. Grainger.
604
00:25:59,785 --> 00:26:01,290
(clears throat)
605
00:26:01,290 --> 00:26:03,323
- Ah, Peacock. Welcome to the club.
606
00:26:03,323 --> 00:26:05,740
Do sit down.
- Thank you, sir.
607
00:26:11,171 --> 00:26:14,329
This is very nice, isn't it?
608
00:26:14,329 --> 00:26:15,376
- Will you join me in a glass of wine?
609
00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:17,959
- Oh, thank you very much, sir.
610
00:26:20,103 --> 00:26:21,441
Thank you.
611
00:26:21,441 --> 00:26:23,274
- That'll be 25 pence.
612
00:26:24,448 --> 00:26:27,698
Oh, no, no, no, not now. Later will do.
613
00:26:29,078 --> 00:26:31,113
- Thank you very much.
614
00:26:31,113 --> 00:26:33,280
Excuse me, sir. Thank you.
615
00:26:34,876 --> 00:26:36,626
Soup du jour, lentil.
616
00:26:37,607 --> 00:26:39,490
Le rollmopse herring.
617
00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:42,823
Le pilchard salad, et le shepherd's pie.
618
00:26:44,899 --> 00:26:47,482
To follow, an apres huite mint.
619
00:26:49,288 --> 00:26:52,219
Yes, great improvement on next door, eh?
620
00:26:52,219 --> 00:26:53,924
- Yes, we think so.
621
00:26:53,924 --> 00:26:55,720
- To your health.
622
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,921
- Amusing little wine, isn't it?
623
00:26:57,921 --> 00:26:58,921
- Hilarious.
624
00:27:02,144 --> 00:27:03,811
Peruvian beaujolais,
625
00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:05,788
type.
626
00:27:07,273 --> 00:27:09,107
Yes, I must remember that.
627
00:27:09,107 --> 00:27:11,711
Well, this is a great moment for me, sir.
628
00:27:11,711 --> 00:27:14,560
I mean, one struggles,
one does one's best.
629
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,394
One fails frequently, and
occasionally, one succeeds.
630
00:27:18,394 --> 00:27:22,053
Then finally, after a
long journey, one arrives.
631
00:27:22,053 --> 00:27:24,303
(pounding)
632
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:29,814
What on earth?
633
00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:32,403
- It's young Mr. Grace!
634
00:27:32,403 --> 00:27:33,653
- Don't get up.
635
00:27:34,883 --> 00:27:36,589
I'm sorry to spoil your lunch,
636
00:27:36,589 --> 00:27:40,168
but I'm having trouble
with the factory inspector.
637
00:27:40,168 --> 00:27:43,545
Somebody from one of the
departments sent for him,
638
00:27:43,545 --> 00:27:46,960
and it seems that the canteen is too small
639
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,527
for the number of people using it.
640
00:27:49,527 --> 00:27:51,483
- Well yes, I was aware that it should be
641
00:27:51,483 --> 00:27:55,323
a hundred square feet bigger,
sir, but what can one do?
642
00:27:55,323 --> 00:27:57,673
- Where there's a will, there's a way.
643
00:27:57,673 --> 00:28:00,355
I'm having the whole
thing knocked into one.
644
00:28:00,355 --> 00:28:02,628
- But what about the
executive dining room?
645
00:28:02,628 --> 00:28:04,995
- That's the least of your troubles.
646
00:28:04,995 --> 00:28:08,412
You've got to use the staff bog, as well.
647
00:28:10,578 --> 00:28:13,828
Carry on, boys. You're doing very well.
648
00:28:18,093 --> 00:28:21,093
(audience applauds)
649
00:28:23,722 --> 00:28:25,189
- [Female Attendant]
Ground floor, perfumeries,
650
00:28:25,189 --> 00:28:26,572
stationery, and leather goods,
651
00:28:26,572 --> 00:28:29,992
wigs and haberdashery,
kitchenware and food, going up.
652
00:28:29,992 --> 00:28:32,409
(horn music)
653
00:28:35,292 --> 00:28:38,061
First floor, telephones,
gents ready made suits,
654
00:28:38,061 --> 00:28:41,554
shirts, socks, ties, hats,
underwear, and shoes, going up.
655
00:28:41,554 --> 00:28:43,971
(horn music)
656
00:28:46,894 --> 00:28:49,757
Second floor, carpets,
tropicals, and bedding,
657
00:28:49,757 --> 00:28:51,386
material, soft furnishing,
658
00:28:51,386 --> 00:28:53,236
restaurant on Tuesday, going down.
659
00:28:53,236 --> 00:28:55,653
(horn music)
48699
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