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1
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:58,048
I'm not moaning, Lovejoy,
but how many more trips?
2
00:00:58,091 --> 00:01:00,082
One more should do it.
3
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:03,755
You know, we're missing a rather crucial item,
considering the circs.
4
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,698
The bed, I know. Your end up.
5
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,359
♪ Here comes the bride
6
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,667
- ♪ Daddy by her side ♪
- Hello, Amanda.
7
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,696
Hello, Ralph.
8
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,108
(Ralph) Morning.
(Amanda) Where's that awful thing going?
9
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:23,377
This, my love, is a Sheraton sideboard,
and as such, will go in a very eminent position.
10
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,884
- But it's ugly.
- Is it ugly, Tinker?
11
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,446
- Exquisite.
- So that's official.
12
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,050
- What can we do for you?
- I wondered if you'd seen Roger at all.
13
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:37,189
- You've not lost him again?
- Sensible fellow, if you ask me.
14
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:40,791
Big meeting with my housekeeper,
Francis Beauchamp,
15
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,668
discussing the menu for the reception
with the dear old-fashioned thing.
16
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:47,104
She wants to do something clever with fish.
17
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,032
See you.
18
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:58,482
Why is it some blokes always seem to land with
their feet in the honey?
19
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:01,578
Take this fellow, Roger,
who Amanda's marrying.
20
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:07,358
He walks in out of nowhere
and into a dowry like this.
21
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,384
Come on. Look.
22
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,731
Bavarian china to eat his dinner off,
23
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:16,462
Sheraton to put the Bavarian china on,
24
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,698
Chippendale for the after-dinner nap.
25
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,729
What did I start married life with?
26
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,799
Oh, yes... I remember like it was yesterday.
27
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,535
It wasn't too good a day either.
28
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:30,447
It was a card table, two fold-up chairs
and a packet of paper napkins.
29
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:35,011
Still, they say the early struggle
makes you a better person.
30
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,314
Who wants to be a better person?
31
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,350
(Whispers) Lovejoy, scramble!
32
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,631
- Oh!
- It's the third time this week, Roger.
33
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,367
- What the hell do you think you're doing?
- Do you really want me to spell it out?
34
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,740
My God, whoever christened you Roger
had a feel for the right name.
35
00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,473
I'm just saying goodbye to an old friend.
36
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,504
Have you tried shaking hands?
37
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,408
Once the vicar's done the business,
I'll be a model of propriety.
38
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:09,421
Lovejoy, please don't say anything.
The job's everything to me.
39
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,446
Go on.
40
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,516
What's it to do with you guys anyway?
41
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,653
Well, nothing, I suppose,
44
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:24,762
for the marvelous job you've done
on the furniture.
45
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,705
It should be the sort of place
a respectable man can settle down.
46
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,133
Adiós.
47
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,119
I don't know much about love, Lovejoy,
48
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:48,150
but shouldn't Amanda be told
or her father perhaps?
49
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,594
No. Too many people get hurt that way, Tink.
50
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,155
Besides, Amanda thinks he's the bee's knees,
51
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,599
Ralph can't wait to have a toff in the family
52
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:59,036
and Francis Beauchamp's doing
something clever with fish.
53
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,063
No, I believe him.
54
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,371
Once he gets married, he'll settle down.
55
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,117
Well, don't give us a hand, will you?
56
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,891
Well, if you insist, and there's no sugar in this.
57
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:29,532
Beds. Lovejoy, Malcolm Tandy's your man.
58
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:32,094
- Beds for all occasions.
- Malcolm Tandy...
59
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:37,204
Why don't you two take a drive
and see what he's selling these days?
60
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:41,509
Wouldn't it be better if we phoned him first,
find out if he's got what we're after?
61
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,674
Why is he so smart when it's not needed?
62
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:47,117
- What have I done now?
- I want to surprise him, not send a telegram.
63
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,144
The man owes me money.
64
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,988
And that, dear boy, puts him on a par
with the South American condor,
65
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,826
a creature so rare folk will travel
a thousand miles just to get a glimpse.
66
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,058
Or in this case, just 50 up the motorway.
67
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:01,089
Aha!
68
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:06,138
- There you go.
- "I owe you £400. Malcolm Tandy."
69
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,470
- Is he good for it?
- Of course he is.
70
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:13,207
Now, remember, it's a four-poster I'm after,
elegant, but sturdy, dainty, yet robust.
71
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:17,546
When you agree on a price, slap that down
in front of him and watch a grown man cry.
72
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,710
And there is still no sugar in this, Eric.
73
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,716
Here's to you, Francis.
74
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,751
You've done a marvelous job.
75
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,128
- Hasn't she, Bill?
- I'll say.
76
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,497
But I'm among savages.
77
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,799
Do you know that not one person here
can name the main dish?
78
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,328
Good Lord. Really?
79
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:42,364
Well... fish, isn't it?
80
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,802
And nobody savors anymore. They... guzzle.
81
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:52,807
I mean, look over there,
that furniture man talking to my daughter.
82
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,843
Oh, Lovejoy, you mean.
83
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:58,721
I'll have you know, my darling, that Lovejoy
is a man of impeccable taste
84
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,555
and great refinement.
85
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,925
- Lovejoy...
- Excuse me.
86
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,897
Have you met Francis Beauchamp,
my housekeeper?
87
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:12,268
Well, it's an ace bun fight.
I've really pigged out on this salmon.
88
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,866
Salmon a la Grecque, actually, but never mind.
89
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:19,344
Lovejoy, I've got something to show you
in my study.
90
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,370
New piece in the collection.
91
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,746
See you later, Fran.
Save us a pudding, won't you?
92
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:39,355
- You should open this to Joe Public, Ralph.
- Why? Can't stand the man.
93
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,660
It's too good a collection to keep to yourself.
94
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:47,802
Of course, they're no better than trade
themselves, you know, the Peagrams.
95
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,831
Made their pile in tin.
96
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,845
Ralph saw tin was on the blink,
so he made a dash for plastics.
97
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,870
Caught it at the right time.
98
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,907
Bill, if I told you that I saw a bed
coming up the drive, what would you say?
99
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,980
(Bill) I'd say
we're in for a very interesting cabaret.
100
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,186
Can I help you at all?
101
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,427
- Ralph or Lovejoy about?
- Surely you're not guests?
102
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:18,426
My dear lady, do I look the type
who'd barge in uninvited?
103
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,462
Frankly, yes.
104
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:24,806
Ah... And how is married life suiting Mrs. Hall?
105
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:28,177
Well, put it this way, if you see Mr. Hall,
tell him I miss him.
106
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:32,583
He's not at it al...
Y-y-you haven't lost him today, surely?!
107
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,143
Lovejoy's in the study with Dad.
108
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,179
Tinker, that's hideous.
109
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,687
What do you think of that, my friend?
110
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,257
Magnificent.
111
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,293
Oliver Cromwell slept in that bed.
112
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,805
Yes. It was just before the Battle of Cuxham.
113
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,502
- I remember the 42nd...
- Not very well though.
114
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,533
I don't want to sleep on history.
115
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,947
I want to sleep on a soft mattress
with chintzy frills all over it,
116
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,576
daisies, butterflies, sprigs of lavender...
117
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,678
- You're a sympathetic man, Tinker.
- It has been said.
118
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,712
Your very good health, Mrs. Hall.
119
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,452
I don't want a house full of old furniture.
I'm sick of it.
120
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,518
Can't you have a word with Dad and Lovejoy?
121
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,088
I'll try, but I have a little problem of my own
to sort out first.
122
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,122
Eric, bring our passenger.
123
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,162
Where did you get this, Ralph?
124
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,941
Museum in Toronto going bust.
They were offloading...
125
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,968
- (Knocking)
- Come in.
126
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,003
Greetings, both.
127
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:38,813
I'm sorry I'm late, Lovejoy.
Pile-up at Junction 13.
128
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,309
- Glad you could make it.
- You're smiling.
129
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,587
- What's gone wrong?
- So young-ish, but cynical.
130
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,186
It's party time, Lovejoy, if you hadn't noticed.
131
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:53,130
- Did you get it?
- The bed? Yes. It's down there in the trailer.
132
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:57,001
You do know that Amanda prefers
the work of Terry Conran...
133
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,027
How is Malcolm Tandy?
134
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,699
Big. Er... bigger, really.
135
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:04,608
- Did he pay the I.O. U?
- Oh, yes. Yes, he did.
136
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,875
Well, it wouldn't actually fit into my wallet.
137
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:11,748
- Why? Did he pay you in pennies?
- No, no, no, all in one piece.
138
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,514
You've blown it, haven't you, on some nag?
139
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,547
Oh, good heavens! I see
you've got one of my favorite malts over there.
140
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:22,391
And if you don't come clean in two
or three seconds, I'll shove it up your nose.
141
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,419
- Where's my money?
- (Laughing)
142
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,756
Eric!
143
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,694
He's a thoroughbred, Lovejoy.
144
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,729
He's called Lassy, with a Y.
145
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:38,801
Lassy, this is the nice gentleman
I was telling you about.
146
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:42,871
I know you deal in antiques, Lovejoy,
but this is ridiculous.
147
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:48,719
Malcolm was a bit strapped, Lovejoy,
and, like I said, big.
148
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,918
He's got terrific form though, Lovejoy.
He's won seven races this season already.
149
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,427
He's down to run another
at Bungay, Friday week.
150
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,825
Good luck at Bungay.
151
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,532
Good luck at Bungay!
152
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,401
Deaf, as well as fat.
153
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:15,141
In my opinion, Lovejoy,
it's a pretty good investment.
154
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:19,447
(Eric) Yeah, Lovejoy, and we can soon
train him down to his fighting weight.
155
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:24,422
My grandad used to keep two greyhounds.
Black and Decker, they used to call them.
156
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,789
- Maybe he'd like another one.
- Oh, he's dead.
157
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:30,557
The dog's not too frisky either.
They'd probably enjoy each other's company.
158
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,759
Drinks, anyone, to soothe the troubled brow?
159
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,790
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
160
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:38,463
They've got a long journey
back where they came from.
161
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:43,405
Listen, boys, since Lassy seems
to have made himself at home...
162
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,433
The walk from the car knackered him.
163
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,811
Why don't you go back to the reception,
decide what to do with him later?
164
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:53,251
- I've decided.
- Lovejoy, I only ever had one rule in business.
165
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,845
Never say no to anything
in the first five minutes.
166
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,879
Let's go join the party.
167
00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:02,383
Yeah, but what about the bed? I mean,
we can't just leave it out there on the lawn.
168
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:06,159
I mean, people will... pass remarks.
169
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:09,998
We'll put it in the stables till tomorrow.
Save you the trip to the rectory.
170
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,027
Come on, Eric, I'll show you where.
171
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,964
(Lassy whimpering)
172
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,468
That's it. Come on.
173
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,504
That'll do you.
174
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,353
- Do you like horses, Eric?
- I prefer dogs.
175
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,214
You think Lassy can run?
176
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:37,525
I tell you, boy, I've got a colt out there
in the pasture right now who can fly.
177
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,231
You ever seen a horse gallop
when it's feet don't seem to touch...
178
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,258
(Banging)
179
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,894
- You hear something?
- No.
180
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,830
Who's up there?
181
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:58,281
Thanks all the same, Ralph,
but we made do with the straw.
182
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:01,115
No, don't bother coming up.
You might hurt yourself.
183
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:03,144
Helen!
184
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,726
I don't understand. Your wedding day!
You've only been married three hours.
185
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:14,355
I know.
186
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,295
I've a very low boredom threshold.
187
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:24,074
You ever do that to me again, Ralph!
188
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,011
My housekeeper's daughter for God's sake!
189
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,215
Ah... Is that who she is?
190
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,878
I think it's time we had a talk,
191
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,913
a real talk.
192
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,949
Exactly the right time.
193
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:44,930
Only, not in front of strangers, I think.
194
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,955
My study, right now.
195
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,701
I thought you and Amanda were friends.
196
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,904
More than that, almost sisters.
197
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:03,004
Is this how you treat family?
198
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,444
You're not my family, Ralph.
199
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:11,479
Your mother will have to be told.
200
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,515
You realize that, don't you?
201
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,718
Good.
202
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:24,032
Eric, for my daughter's sake...
203
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,728
You know what I'm saying.
204
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:29,565
Well, you ain't said it yet, have you?
205
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,909
Don't mention what you've seen here today.
206
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,703
Not to your parents
207
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,739
or Tinker or Lovejoy.
208
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:39,774
No one. Do you understand?
209
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,810
Right.
210
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:43,845
I like to keep things in the family.
211
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,581
Especially problems.
212
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,923
Saves people getting hurt.
213
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,952
I don't want that.
214
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,987
Take it.
215
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,967
I mean, if what you've just seen got around,
216
00:13:56,001 --> 00:14:01,462
who knows, you might be one of those people
who gets hurt.
217
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,301
(♪ Quickstep)
218
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:21,453
Oh, the salmon a la Grecque
is a ballet upon the tongue, Mrs. Beauchamp.
219
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:24,326
I knew there was French in you.
220
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,696
I wasn't sure exactly where, but I knew.
221
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,291
- Excuse us, Francis.
- Excuse me.
222
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:34,200
I've given it Ralph's five minutes,
and the answer is still no.
223
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,903
Can't we wait till after Bungay?
Eric is so looking forward to training him up.
224
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,503
I'm an antique dealer, not a dog owner.
225
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:45,313
- There is a problem. The dog's only worth 300.
- So where's the other ton?
226
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,478
Tandy said he'd bet it for us at Bungay.
227
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,510
Oh, good. You're fired.
228
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,546
But I don't work for you.
229
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,581
I felt like saying it. It felt good.
230
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,617
- Lovejoy...
- You're fired too.
231
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,652
What?
232
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,226
- You all right, young Eric?
- I need a drink.
233
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,862
(Ralph) If you don't love my daughter,
why the hell did you marry her?
234
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,362
(Roger) There are other reasons for marriage
apart from love.
235
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,841
I see, a gold-digger!
236
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,867
(Roger) Oro. ¡Mío!
237
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,770
(Ralph) Right!
(Roger) Buenos días, senor Stacy.
238
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:19,545
- ÿCómo está?
- Juan Stacy está muerto.
239
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:23,285
Y enterrado en la hacienda, Little England.
240
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,313
(Ralph) ÿQuién es usted?
241
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,883
(Roger) You're a bright chap.
Work it out for yourself.
242
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,100
- I never thanked you.
- What for?
243
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,768
For keeping quiet
about my farewell party with Roger.
244
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,802
What did you think I was going to say?
245
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,371
"Hey, everybody,
bet I know something you don't."
246
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:51,974
Thanks.
247
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:57,947
She resents our friendship, Helen does.
248
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:01,619
Ralph's mine. She's getting back at me.
249
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:06,230
You will stop me if I'm being indiscreet,
won't you?
250
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,256
I'll try.
251
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,201
- But it's much more than a friendship.
- Stop.
252
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:12,999
Much more.
253
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:16,371
He's such a vital man, you see, so youthful!
254
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:20,236
And he's always been so good to Helen.
255
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,438
Mrs. Beauchamp,
I don't know much about kids,
256
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,578
but, surely, at 20,
they're responsible for their own actions,
257
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:30,213
even if those actions are...
258
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,246
Bonking the bridegroom?
259
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,253
- Sorry.
- Yes, even that.
260
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:40,527
But Ralph has always been so good to Helen.
261
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,864
He even tried to take her father's place.
262
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,728
That's maybe what she doesn't like.
263
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:51,236
Yes. Well, Roger should have known better.
264
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,010
He needs taking down a peg or two.
265
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,845
(Fredericks) To be quite honest,
it's beginning to look rum.
266
00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:01,478
No one's seen the fellow since teatime,
leave alone the bride.
267
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,616
You were to pick up the newlyweds
at six o'clock, go to the airport?
268
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,355
Bali for honeymoon? Oh, it's rum. Rum.
269
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,153
Best you have a word with the guv'nor.
270
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,016
Ladies and gentlemen,
well, my watch says six o'clock.
271
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:38,012
Time to muster on the main drive to see
the bride and groom off on their honeymoon.
272
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:42,858
Er... time for one more waltz though,
so, ladies and gentlemen, take your partners.
273
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,295
- One, two, three.
- Everything all right?
274
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:48,231
He's done a bunk, hasn't he? God knows why.
275
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,667
- Has anyone looked?
- Of course they have!
276
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,496
Sorry, Lovejoy. It's not your fault.
277
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,871
Yes, these two have looked. No sign of him.
278
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,309
- How's Amanda?
- Left her in her room, drowning her sorrows.
279
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,670
Amanda! Amanda!
280
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:05,046
Amanda, no!
281
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,381
No!
282
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,078
Lay off a minute, fellas.
283
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,181
(Music stops)
284
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,215
Look at me, you lot.
285
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,057
All dressed up like a dog's dinner,
nowhere to go.
286
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,587
Well...
287
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,763
somewhere to go, but no one to go with.
288
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,794
Amanda, come on.
289
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,569
Do you fancy Bali with me, Lovejoy?
290
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,509
Sun, sand, all the romance you could wish for.
291
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:34,812
Black coffee.
292
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:39,580
All those who said I was crazy to marry
a bloke I'd only known for three months,
293
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,609
you were right!
294
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,644
The bastard walked out on me!
295
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:46,123
Don't let that spoil the party though.
296
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,353
What's happened to the music?
297
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:55,861
A super do, Ralphie, super,
in spite of everything.
298
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,200
Yes. Thanks, Bill. You'll be all right, walking?
299
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:02,332
Fine, don't worry. Everything will work out.
300
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,253
Oh, the stragglers are just on their way.
301
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,681
Good party, really, though.
302
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,957
I'm sorry, I still think we should tell the police.
303
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,558
He's only been gone six hours.
The police don't even consider that as missing.
304
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,569
He's panicked, hasn't he?
It's a bit late, but he's panicked.
305
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:34,868
Some blokes do
at the thought of a lifetime's commitment.
306
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:38,001
What do you say, Amanda? Call the police?
307
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,705
No, do as Lovejoy says.
Wait until the morning.
308
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,305
Sorry I made a fool of myself, Dad.
309
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,444
He'll turn up, won't he?
310
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,786
Blokes like that always turn up,
don't they, Lovejoy?
311
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:53,415
Always.
312
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,319
Lovejoy, you and your friends
had better stay the night.
313
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:01,355
- OK with you, Dad?
- Oh, yes, of course. You're very welcome.
314
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,698
(Clock strikes)
315
00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,726
(Lassy barking)
316
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:14,171
They say a dog's for life. Well, let me tell you,
some lives are shorter than others.
317
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,204
This could be one of them.
318
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,274
All right. I see you. Come on.
319
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,377
Come on, then. No, wait!
320
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,411
Lassy! Lassy!
321
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,892
Lassy! Lassy!
322
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:32,453
You're quicker at this than on the track...
323
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:34,488
Lassy!
324
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,524
Shh!
325
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,162
(Barking)
326
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,768
(Whimpering)
327
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,804
Lassy? Lassy!
328
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,749
Sit! Heel! Stay!
329
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,843
Catch! Fetch! Something. Anything.
330
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,877
Just come here, you prat!
331
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,486
Typical of your new money is that.
332
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:13,197
They leave the windows open, the lights on.
They don't care.
333
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,229
Lassy!
334
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,233
- Shh!
- (Barking)
335
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:23,044
Shh! What is it? What is it?
336
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,444
That's a very nasty thought you've got.
337
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:37,518
It's been a very funny day.
338
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:40,759
I suppose a doctor wouldn't rule out insanity.
339
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,564
Lumme. I have been talking to you
like you understand me.
340
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,094
Trouble is, I think you do.
341
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,471
Well, why shouldn't I?
342
00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:51,499
Better men than me talk to plants.
343
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:55,411
Why shouldn't I talk to a dog
and have him understand what I'm saying?
344
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,242
Too much booze.
345
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,481
That's the more probable explanation.
346
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,315
Yeah.
347
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,555
Come on, stop messing about, Roger.
348
00:22:10,595 --> 00:22:13,393
Ah! Ah! Ah!
349
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:22,630
Get him, boy!
350
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,038
Tinker, Eric...
351
00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:01,341
Shh... Now, you stay there, Lassy.
352
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,870
(Lassy barks)
353
00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:05,781
Stay.
Wake up! Come on, wake up!
354
00:23:05,817 --> 00:23:07,808
- Wake up, Eric!
- I don't want your money!
355
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:11,414
- I'm glad to hear it! Come on, get dressed!
- What is it? Oh!
356
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:19,591
You two get to the police station.
I'm going to stay on guard here.
357
00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:22,464
- Police station?
- It's a one-man-band in the next village.
358
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,834
Haul the fella out of bed
and don't take no for an answer.
359
00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:28,499
In a suit of armor,
360
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,940
16th century Italian?
361
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:31,965
Yes.
362
00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:34,808
Bullet hole in his bonce?
363
00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:37,838
Only you didn't see it?
364
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,574
Nor you.
365
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:45,579
I keep telling you, Sergeant, Mr. Lovejoy sent us
straight down here the moment he found it.
366
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,615
Then he went back to stand guard.
367
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:53,254
- So where does this dog fit in, this collie?
- Greyhound.
368
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:57,929
You said it was called Lassy.
You can't have it both ways, son.
369
00:23:57,969 --> 00:24:02,770
No, Lassy is a greyhound, Sergeant Hartley,
and he found the body.
370
00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:05,834
A moment ago, this Lovejoy did.
371
00:24:06,545 --> 00:24:12,381
They both did, Sergeant,
man and dog side by side as one.
372
00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:14,408
Ah. In a study,
373
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,648
two o'clock of a morning,
374
00:24:16,688 --> 00:24:18,679
in a suit of armor,
375
00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:21,191
16th century Italian,
376
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:23,592
bullet hole through his forehead...
377
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:26,028
On his wedding day.
378
00:24:26,064 --> 00:24:29,500
- Eric, must you?
- Whose wedding day?
379
00:24:29,534 --> 00:24:31,525
Roger Hall's.
380
00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:33,561
But you just said he was dead!
381
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:36,204
What's going on here?
382
00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:41,679
That is what we want you
to come down to find out for us.
383
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:45,749
We'd forgotten about the West African ax
whistling past his ear.
384
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:47,877
- Eric, do you have to?!
- Ax?
385
00:24:47,919 --> 00:24:51,218
Somebody threw an ax at Mr. Lovejoy.
386
00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:54,989
You were trying to cover up for him, eh?
387
00:24:55,026 --> 00:25:00,464
No. I was trying not to confuse the issue
with irrelevant details.
388
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:03,798
Didn't hit him by any chance, this ax?
389
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:08,499
No. No. Thanks be to God,
it landed in the curtains behind him.
390
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:11,441
Pity. Sounds like a troublemaker.
391
00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:17,540
Mr. Lovejoy is a very good friend of ours,
Sergeant. Now, can we go?
392
00:25:17,582 --> 00:25:19,641
If it's all right with you, Eric?
393
00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:22,409
Right.
394
00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:25,252
There'll be nookie
at the bottom of it somewhere.
395
00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:29,192
You mark my words. There always is.
396
00:25:37,435 --> 00:25:40,302
This funny day is turning into a funny night.
397
00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:47,469
I mean, everybody's got their own idea
of a good night out, haven't they?
398
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:50,447
It's just that mine happens to be
dinner with Jane Felsham,
399
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:53,417
and then, well, you know, on from there.
400
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:58,181
You'd think that would be easier to organize
than this, wouldn't you?
401
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,817
Baby-sitting a corpse with a soppy greyhound.
402
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,957
Evidently not, because I'm the one
stuck with a dead body and a dog
403
00:26:05,997 --> 00:26:07,988
and somebody else has got the girl.
404
00:26:11,269 --> 00:26:13,567
Come on, Lassy.
405
00:26:13,605 --> 00:26:15,664
It's time we shared this experience.
406
00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,698
Let's wake a few people up.
407
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:34,354
- Ralph, what is it?
- Don't ask me, love.
408
00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:40,858
Ah... You'll be this Lovejoy, then.
409
00:26:40,899 --> 00:26:42,890
And this is Lassy.
410
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,993
You look a bit heavy for a runner, boy.
411
00:26:45,036 --> 00:26:47,402
All right, Lovejoy, spit it out.
412
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,772
- Make it good.
- (Amanda) What the hell's going on, Lovejoy?
413
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:53,141
I'm not sure that you should be here, Amanda.
414
00:26:53,178 --> 00:26:55,976
Oh, for heaven's sake!
Am I some wilting violet?
415
00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,672
Suit yourself.
416
00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:06,118
It's Roger. He's been shot.
417
00:27:06,157 --> 00:27:08,148
And he's inside there?
418
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,151
'Fraid so.
419
00:27:21,873 --> 00:27:24,034
Someone's had him away!
420
00:27:24,075 --> 00:27:28,273
Hold on a minute.
Are you telling us you saw him in there?
421
00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:30,838
He's dead.
422
00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:33,850
We didn't actually see anything.
423
00:27:33,885 --> 00:27:35,876
Roger dead, in there?
424
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,911
Someone's moved him, armor and all.
425
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,117
This is in very poor taste, Lovejoy.
426
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,922
And someone flung an ax at me
and it landed in the curtains.
427
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:44,952
Very handy.
428
00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:48,022
Someone killed Roger Hall,
then had a go at me.
429
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,125
Good party, was it?
430
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:53,865
Don't come the old acid with me, mate.
I know what I saw.
431
00:27:53,905 --> 00:27:56,430
You know what you think you saw.
432
00:27:56,474 --> 00:27:59,409
The best of us
can fall prey to alcoholic fantasy.
433
00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:04,548
Come on, Lovejoy, in your keenness
to solve the mystery, you made a mistake.
434
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:08,511
- Let's all go back to bed.
- (Hartley) Just a minute, sir.
435
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:12,489
If this Roger Hall is missing,
then I think I should take some details.
436
00:28:13,058 --> 00:28:16,960
And as for you, Mr. Lovejoy,
there may be charges to follow.
437
00:28:16,995 --> 00:28:19,463
It's all right, Ralph. I know where Roger is.
438
00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:23,757
It's not the first time,
so I guess there must be something in it.
439
00:28:23,802 --> 00:28:26,737
- What are you talking about?
- Helen's missing too.
440
00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:28,898
My daughter, Sergeant.
441
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:31,431
I guess they must have run off together.
442
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:35,913
Mr. Lovejoy,
you've been upsetting too many people.
443
00:28:35,947 --> 00:28:38,814
I want you out of this house first thing.
444
00:28:48,326 --> 00:28:50,317
This is it, Lassy.
445
00:28:50,361 --> 00:28:52,352
Time to show us your stuff.
446
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:57,935
- How many packets is that?
- We like sugar cakes, don't we?
447
00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:02,373
Come with us, Lovejoy.
It'll take your mind off things.
448
00:29:03,641 --> 00:29:06,041
What are you planning to do
with my friend anyway?
449
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:10,912
- Your friend?
- This dog is the only one who believes in me.
450
00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:14,407
- Aren't you?
- But this is a recognized method of training.
451
00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:16,443
(Tinker) That's right.
452
00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:20,046
- Come with us.
- No.
453
00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:31,866
- What's the matter with him?
- He's having a good old British sulk.
454
00:29:31,903 --> 00:29:33,894
(As Lovejoy) Nobody believes me.
455
00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:36,099
- What, not even you?
- Not even me.
456
00:29:43,948 --> 00:29:48,009
Right, this is it. Give me about
a 100-yard start, then let him go, right?
457
00:29:53,725 --> 00:29:57,161
Nice wabbit. Lassy go catch wabbit.
458
00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,428
Tinker boil wabbit for Lassy's tea.
459
00:30:01,266 --> 00:30:05,225
Mmm. Good dog. Wait for it. Wait for it.
460
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:09,936
Now, imitate the action of the bullet!
461
00:30:11,943 --> 00:30:15,208
Excuse me! Wrong way!
462
00:30:23,888 --> 00:30:25,879
Come in.
463
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,929
You're the last person I expected to see.
464
00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:40,928
- Milk and sugar.
- No thanks.
465
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,100
- And, before you ask, no sign of Roger.
- That figures.
466
00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:48,078
Helen Beauchamp turned up. Cheeky bitch.
467
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,413
- Said she'd been staying with a friend.
- That figures too.
468
00:30:53,251 --> 00:30:55,446
You still reckon you saw him, don't you?
469
00:30:55,486 --> 00:30:58,080
It's not the kind of thing one makes up.
470
00:30:58,122 --> 00:31:00,113
But dead...
471
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:03,116
I can't take it in.
472
00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:07,796
- Are you sure?
- It's the truth. Why would I want to hurt you?
473
00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:10,995
- Some other explanation, maybe.
- Yeah, that I'm going...
474
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:13,299
There's a few takers around here for that.
475
00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:16,569
- Then where is he now, Lovejoy?
- How about your father's estate?
476
00:31:16,608 --> 00:31:19,668
That's big enough to lose a body in.
Just needs finding.
477
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:24,307
If you want to live with the thought that he left
with another woman, that's all right with me.
478
00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:27,250
- I never liked him anyway.
- I did.
479
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:29,185
I loved him.
480
00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:34,482
I always thought you were worth more.
481
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:39,926
It's nice of you, but I've never kidded myself.
482
00:31:40,965 --> 00:31:43,024
My shelf life was just about to begin.
483
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:47,470
Along comes this handsome stranger,
whisks me off my feet.
484
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,302
What was I supposed to do,
tell him no thanks?
485
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:56,370
I'm sorry.
486
00:31:57,115 --> 00:31:59,106
Please come back and help me, Lovejoy.
487
00:32:03,321 --> 00:32:08,315
So, why do you two doubt the nookie theory
so beloved of Sergeant Hartley?
488
00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:10,350
I've had time to think it over.
489
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:14,388
But we ourselves caught Roger in flagrante
several times,
490
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,765
as did your father and Francis Beauchamp.
491
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:22,964
- But is that reason for someone to kill him?
- At least we're talking like he's dead.
492
00:32:23,007 --> 00:32:28,138
You are, Lovejoy, but some of us still have faith
in alcoholic fantasy.
493
00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:32,081
- I don't.
- You will, dear boy. You will.
494
00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:35,984
No, but when we took that bed
up to the stable, we found him with Helen.
495
00:32:36,921 --> 00:32:39,287
(Eric) There was a bit of a barney.
496
00:32:39,324 --> 00:32:43,055
Mr. Peagram made me promise
never to tell anyone else ever about it.
497
00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:47,557
I mean, he threatened me.
Even gave me some money.
498
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:50,358
- Money?
- How much?
499
00:32:50,401 --> 00:32:52,392
Well, that's not the point.
500
00:32:52,437 --> 00:32:55,201
The point is he looked fit to kill.
501
00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:03,003
What do you think, Amanda?
502
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,309
Well, put it this way, why should Roger run off?
503
00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:08,977
I knew all about his stuff on the side,
504
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:12,312
and he knew I knew.
505
00:33:12,357 --> 00:33:14,348
And you didn't mind?
506
00:33:16,961 --> 00:33:19,122
That's the man I wanted to marry.
507
00:33:20,798 --> 00:33:22,959
Why would your dad know Spanish?
508
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:25,993
Family made their pile in Venezuela.
509
00:33:26,037 --> 00:33:28,028
Farming.
510
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,875
- And who's John Stacy?
- No idea. Why?
511
00:33:34,779 --> 00:33:38,044
It doesn't matter anyway. He's muerto, dead.
512
00:33:38,082 --> 00:33:42,280
- I heard your dad and Roger talking about it.
- Well, why didn't you tell the police?
513
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,084
They weren't very interested in anything I said,
remember?
514
00:33:45,123 --> 00:33:48,820
I am. Please help me, Lovejoy.
515
00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:52,493
- You're sure your dad's not around?
- He's in London.
516
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,521
It's a regular board meeting.
517
00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:59,195
Right, up there lies the finest tracking device
known to man.
518
00:33:59,237 --> 00:34:03,833
Give him a whiff of this and take him round
the house and see if he can pick up a trail.
519
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:04,864
Why?
520
00:34:04,909 --> 00:34:08,504
It belongs to whoever flung an ax at me,
the same person who killed Roger Hall,
521
00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:10,912
in my alcoholic fantasy, of course.
522
00:34:10,948 --> 00:34:12,779
I'm going to the Gothic hall.
There's more armor there.
523
00:34:12,817 --> 00:34:14,808
- What shall I do?
- Go with them.
524
00:34:14,852 --> 00:34:17,878
They look suspicious on their own.
525
00:34:29,934 --> 00:34:31,458
Oh-oh.
526
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,665
(Tinker) Where's he taking us?
(Amanda) The folly.
527
00:34:35,706 --> 00:34:37,697
(Tinker) How very apt!
528
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:44,112
I don't suppose you'd fancy a chat, would you?
First, how about an introduction?
529
00:34:44,148 --> 00:34:47,879
I'm Lovejoy, but then,
you er... you already know that, don't you?
530
00:35:52,950 --> 00:35:54,941
(Tinker) Lovejoy!
531
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:57,580
Lovejoy! We've done our bit.
532
00:36:00,258 --> 00:36:01,589
Lovejoy?
533
00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:03,920
Lovejoy!
534
00:36:04,695 --> 00:36:06,663
Lovejoy, speak to me.
535
00:36:06,697 --> 00:36:08,722
Help me, Eric. Amanda, go and get a doctor.
536
00:36:08,766 --> 00:36:12,395
(Eric) He's not dead, is he?
(Tinker) No, he's not dead. Get him up.
537
00:36:13,538 --> 00:36:16,405
- Right, come on.
- Put him on this sofa here.
538
00:36:20,077 --> 00:36:22,068
- Careful.
- Doctor's on his way.
539
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:24,013
It's me, Tinker.
540
00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:26,039
I know. I can smell it.
541
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,074
Eric, what happened?
542
00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:30,110
Gothic hall. Bump on the head.
543
00:36:30,154 --> 00:36:32,145
Did Lassy get the scent?
544
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,818
- Lie still, Lovejoy. Dr. Williams won't be long.
- Did he?
545
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:37,259
- It took us to the folly.
- Was Roger there?
546
00:36:37,295 --> 00:36:42,995
(Tinker) No, but if somebody is trying
to kill you, Lovejoy, I want to know who.
547
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,764
- What's that place, Amanda?
- Gardeners use it.
548
00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:50,172
- But he's not here. Honestly, we've looked.
- Might have passed through.
549
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:53,200
(Tinker) You mean someone carried him here
in full armor?
550
00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:55,303
- Why not?
- Why here though?
551
00:36:57,148 --> 00:36:59,139
This could be one reason.
552
00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:05,321
- What's beyond those trees, Amanda?
- More trees for half a mile, then the lake.
553
00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:21,532
Well, Roger, I hope you're out there,
otherwise we're all sunk.
554
00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:24,769
The police aren't going to drag
a lake that size on a whim.
555
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:26,037
Your whim.
556
00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:28,068
Maybe they won't have to.
557
00:37:30,214 --> 00:37:32,205
Why the visit?
558
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:36,710
I'm very pleased to see you and all that,
but you never were a dropper-in on folk.
559
00:37:37,888 --> 00:37:40,982
- This one you made, Henry?
- No, German.
560
00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:43,186
This here's Italian.
561
00:37:43,227 --> 00:37:45,821
Lighter, more refined.
562
00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:51,361
You can just imagine them raising their visors
and having an ice cream, can't you?
563
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:57,798
Well, you might think this is a daft question,
Henry, but supposing I was to say to you if...
564
00:37:57,842 --> 00:37:59,833
What are you doing?
565
00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:10,652
Do you know, in all my years in this game,
566
00:38:10,688 --> 00:38:15,557
I've only ever met one beggar with a suit of
armor better than your 16th century knight,
567
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,495
and that's Pulex irritans.
568
00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:21,521
Who's he?
569
00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:23,556
Your common flea, mate.
570
00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:28,933
And I think your dog's playing host
to a crusade of 'em.
571
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:33,933
This dog's been with me 24 hours a day
and I haven't been bitten yet.
572
00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:38,838
Aye, well, animals are like that, aren't they?
573
00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:42,380
They don't pick on their own kind.
574
00:38:42,420 --> 00:38:46,049
One bloodsucker won't often pick on another.
575
00:38:46,724 --> 00:38:49,488
- Thank you, Henry.
- Bring him over here.
576
00:38:49,527 --> 00:38:51,518
Come on. Up!
577
00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:57,627
That's it. Now, you hold his head,
and we'll get rid of this lot in a minute or two.
578
00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:00,660
What was that about a daft question?
579
00:39:02,273 --> 00:39:07,609
Supposing I murdered someone, stuffed them
in a suit of armor and flung it in a lake.
580
00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:10,671
It would sink, wouldn't it?
581
00:39:17,588 --> 00:39:22,423
It's not fair, Lovejoy. You said we were going
to take it in turns on this lookout thing.
582
00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:25,785
It's all very English, isn't it?
583
00:39:25,830 --> 00:39:27,821
The lake,
584
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,856
the picnic,
585
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,027
the trusty companions, the good book,
586
00:39:32,069 --> 00:39:34,060
the jumping fish
587
00:39:34,105 --> 00:39:37,836
and the gentle hum of an ageing teenager
moaning his guts out in the background.
588
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:41,242
Well, I'm here to learn about antiques,
not sinking the Bismarck.
589
00:39:41,278 --> 00:39:43,803
It's an important part of your education,
old boy.
590
00:39:43,848 --> 00:39:46,783
Oh, rubbish. What's he know about armor?
591
00:39:46,817 --> 00:39:49,718
Half an hour with one of his pals
and suddenly, he's an expert?
592
00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:53,012
Besides, I want the toilet.
593
00:39:55,259 --> 00:39:58,717
There's a lot of rubbish talked
about armor, you know, Tink.
594
00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:01,254
Some's heavy, some isn't.
595
00:40:01,298 --> 00:40:04,734
These guys had to fight in it,
so it had to be portable.
596
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:09,763
- What sort of weight are we talking about?
- Well, Italian, about 50lb according to Henry.
597
00:40:09,807 --> 00:40:12,742
That's dispersed weight,
so you'd hardy notice it.
598
00:40:12,777 --> 00:40:16,110
- Want a sandwich, Eric?
- No. I want the toilet.
599
00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:19,605
What, again? What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with him?
600
00:40:20,484 --> 00:40:23,612
(Tinker) We used to fish a lake like this
when I was a boy.
601
00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:27,055
(Lovejoy) Here we go, Eric,
back into the mists of time.
602
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:29,787
Of course, we never knew
there was nothing in it.
603
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:33,691
My father, God rest his soul,
would never tell us.
604
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:36,393
Kept us occupied during the long summer vac.
605
00:40:38,969 --> 00:40:42,427
I sometimes think that set the pattern
for the rest of my life,
606
00:40:42,473 --> 00:40:44,839
a lake with no fish.
607
00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:49,844
Lovejoy!
608
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,871
I know, you want the toilet.
609
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,907
No, look!
610
00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:08,628
- Oh!
- It's him, all right.
611
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:10,657
Now what?
612
00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:14,770
It grieves me to say it, but the Old Bill.
613
00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:18,503
Mind you, I don't see that local plod
nailing Ralph. Do you?
614
00:41:18,542 --> 00:41:21,568
- Are you sure it is Ralph?
- Who else is there?
615
00:41:21,612 --> 00:41:25,275
We'd need Amanda's help.
Will she give it against her own father?
616
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,511
She loved this poor sod more than him.
617
00:41:27,551 --> 00:41:29,246
(Gagging)
618
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:37,560
When you think about it, they make submarines
out of metal. They float up and down.
619
00:41:37,595 --> 00:41:41,326
And you were expecting this one to surface,
eh, Lovejoy?
620
00:41:41,365 --> 00:41:43,925
If he'd been Australian,
he'd have come up sooner.
621
00:41:43,968 --> 00:41:45,959
All that fizzy beer and stuff.
622
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:49,632
Bit of a gas himself, is Mr. Lovejoy, Inspector.
623
00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:51,834
I think a long natter is in order.
624
00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:54,538
You're coming the old acid.
First you didn't believe me.
625
00:41:54,578 --> 00:41:57,672
- Now, it's nudge-nudge wink-wink.
- Hold on, you two. Hold on.
626
00:41:57,715 --> 00:41:59,706
Why were you so interested?
627
00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:02,548
Everybody thought I was seeing things.
I knew different.
628
00:42:02,586 --> 00:42:05,248
I told you two days ago
and you didn't believe me.
629
00:42:05,289 --> 00:42:08,258
- Difficult.
- Difficult? I've got the bump to prove it.
630
00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:12,023
- Who gave you that?
- The bloke who killed Roger.
631
00:42:12,062 --> 00:42:15,793
- Bloke?
- He means Ralph Peagram, Mr. Burgess.
632
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,165
We must flush him out. A trap needs laying.
633
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:21,069
Dodgy.
We need the right kind of bait, don't we?
634
00:42:22,773 --> 00:42:24,764
Yes.
635
00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:33,114
(Knocking)
636
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:35,141
Come in.
637
00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:41,187
- Lovejoy.
- I thought I said you weren't welcome here.
638
00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:45,252
I certainly don't feel welcome, Francis.
639
00:42:45,296 --> 00:42:47,287
Where's Amanda, Ralph?
640
00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:51,233
- She went off at the crack of dawn.
- It's just as well, I think.
641
00:42:51,268 --> 00:42:54,863
Your opinions aren't of great interest to me
anymore, Lovejoy.
642
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,237
You've been paid,
and as far as I'm concerned...
643
00:42:57,274 --> 00:43:00,471
I've got some bad news for you.
Well, for Amanda, that is.
644
00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:04,540
- Found Roger's body.
- Where?
645
00:43:05,849 --> 00:43:09,478
In the lake.
Whoever dumped it there made an error.
646
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,454
It's understandable, of course.
647
00:43:11,488 --> 00:43:13,479
What error, Mr. Lovejoy?
648
00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:15,617
They thought armor would sink.
649
00:43:15,659 --> 00:43:19,060
OK, let me finish my breakfast
and I'll be with you.
650
00:43:25,502 --> 00:43:28,665
(Ralph) Built
by one of the first Peagrams, that.
651
00:43:28,706 --> 00:43:32,073
Brought his mates down here for card games
the old woman didn't approve of.
652
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:34,737
- Half a mile away.
- (Lovejoy) You never had that trouble?
653
00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:36,769
With wives, I mean.
654
00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:40,250
You mean,
did she mind if I played with the lads?
655
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,651
No, boy. She played with the lads herself.
656
00:43:43,687 --> 00:43:46,520
Lovejoy, if this is true, you know...
657
00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,685
- They must be going into the trees, sir.
- There's no need, Ralph.
658
00:43:49,727 --> 00:43:51,718
It will put Amanda's mind at rest.
659
00:43:51,762 --> 00:43:54,492
It must have been grim for her, not knowing.
660
00:43:54,531 --> 00:43:56,726
Of course, I never did think much of him.
661
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,461
After you, Lovejoy.
662
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:04,130
(Hartley) Don't.
663
00:44:04,942 --> 00:44:07,604
What did the pathologist say yesterday,
Mr. Burgess.
664
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,704
- Are you sure you want to know?
- Yes.
665
00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:13,478
Single bullet, .45 caliber,
through the forehead at close range,
666
00:44:13,517 --> 00:44:16,145
almost certainly using a silencer.
667
00:44:16,186 --> 00:44:18,177
Does your father have such a gun?
668
00:44:18,222 --> 00:44:20,486
Dozens, all shapes, all sizes, all ages.
669
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:23,583
- Quick?
- Instant?
670
00:44:24,862 --> 00:44:28,958
- So, what's in the suit of armor today?
- A wet suit full of polystyrene.
671
00:44:28,999 --> 00:44:32,526
(Lovejoy) There he is.
(Ralph) Looks like I owe you an apology.
672
00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:35,629
- One of several, I reckon.
- For doubting you, I meant.
673
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,307
The flying ax, the bang on the head...
674
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,502
In short, for trying to kill me.
675
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:47,840
Why would I want to do that?
676
00:44:48,652 --> 00:44:52,019
Because I was the only person
who'd seen that body,
677
00:44:52,056 --> 00:44:54,752
apart from you, who shot him.
678
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,691
I still am.
679
00:44:57,728 --> 00:45:00,128
Don't get smart, Lovejoy. Don't get smart.
680
00:45:00,164 --> 00:45:03,190
(Lovejoy) Who's John Stacy?
(Ralph) Who told you about him?
681
00:45:03,233 --> 00:45:06,498
I heard you and Roger
having a slanging match in the study.
682
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:11,201
I knew muerto meant dead, so I looked in one
of those Spanish-English dictionaries.
683
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:13,709
Enterrado means buried.
684
00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:17,544
John Stacy dead and buried
in Little England farm.
685
00:45:17,581 --> 00:45:19,310
Did you kill John Stacy?
686
00:45:19,349 --> 00:45:21,340
(Chuckling)
687
00:45:22,486 --> 00:45:24,681
I am John Stacy,
688
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:26,622
Ralph's partner for 20 years,
689
00:45:26,657 --> 00:45:29,683
and friend for much longer, from schooldays.
690
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,753
- So where's Ralph?
- He died.
691
00:45:32,796 --> 00:45:36,459
Trampled to death
by 2,000 tons of stampeding beef.
692
00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:38,491
I scraped him up, buried him.
693
00:45:39,636 --> 00:45:45,541
Years later, one of the mainline Peagrams
croaked and Ralph inherited all this place.
694
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:47,441
Where does Roger fit into all this?
695
00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:50,504
Because his name's Rodrigo,
696
00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:54,108
Ralph's son by some dark beauty out there,
697
00:45:54,151 --> 00:45:57,882
indistinguishable from another,
except that she must have had a brain.
698
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:03,188
Six months ago, she told Rodrigo
to get over here and make a pitch.
699
00:46:03,227 --> 00:46:05,491
He can't tell him all this and let him off.
700
00:46:05,529 --> 00:46:07,520
Let's call it off!
701
00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:10,055
(Ralph) Blackmail. He knew who I was.
702
00:46:11,135 --> 00:46:13,126
So I killed him.
703
00:46:13,570 --> 00:46:15,697
I can't lose all this, Lovejoy.
704
00:46:15,739 --> 00:46:19,937
Been too much of a slog,
building it up from the wreck it was.
705
00:46:19,977 --> 00:46:21,968
Too many people depend on me now.
706
00:46:22,012 --> 00:46:24,947
Where's your mask, Ralph?
You know, the slinky black number?
707
00:46:24,982 --> 00:46:26,973
I don't need all that today.
708
00:46:27,017 --> 00:46:31,181
I'm sorry. I would pay you,
if I thought it would work,
709
00:46:31,989 --> 00:46:34,184
but you know the trouble with Danegeld.
710
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,789
The Dane keeps coming back.
711
00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:44,524
That's it. Let's go.
712
00:47:28,278 --> 00:47:30,269
Get him, boy!
713
00:47:33,951 --> 00:47:35,782
(Lassy snarling)
714
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:45,693
That was the dirtiest trick of all, Lovejoy,
715
00:47:45,729 --> 00:47:48,061
bringing her.
716
00:47:48,098 --> 00:47:51,090
That's the way she wanted it, Ralph.
717
00:47:53,937 --> 00:47:56,201
(Lovejoy) It's the way she wanted it.
718
00:47:57,741 --> 00:47:59,641
(Cheering)
719
00:48:14,625 --> 00:48:16,684
You've got to put that money on Lassy.
720
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:19,093
He gave me that money
so I wouldn't tell anyone.
721
00:48:19,129 --> 00:48:22,326
But you did tell everybody.
Come on, where's your faith?
722
00:48:23,767 --> 00:48:25,598
Eric...
723
00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:28,361
- Tandy's here, Lovejoy.
- Oh.
724
00:48:29,606 --> 00:48:32,837
I'm sorry, Lovejoy.
I know he's not all I cracked him up to be.
725
00:48:32,876 --> 00:48:36,812
Turned out quite well actually, Malcolm.
Turned into quite a hero. Well worth 300.
726
00:48:36,847 --> 00:48:40,010
- Thinking of keeping him.
- Don't say things like that, Lovejoy.
727
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,850
So you're changing your mind again, are you?
He is useless after all.
728
00:48:43,887 --> 00:48:46,082
- I didn't say that.
- You were desperate for him.
729
00:48:46,123 --> 00:48:49,058
I even told you he wasn't a runner
but you wouldn't have it.
730
00:48:49,092 --> 00:48:54,155
Saved my life actually, Malcolm, but 300 from
400 leaves a ton, which I would like, please.
731
00:48:54,197 --> 00:48:57,655
Later, Lovejoy, later. With interest.
732
00:48:57,701 --> 00:48:59,692
Just lob me an insult for now,
733
00:48:59,736 --> 00:49:02,899
vile, as much as you like, go on, and loud.
734
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:06,899
As a companion?
Oh, he's fine as a companion.
735
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:09,139
As a runner, rubbish.
736
00:49:09,179 --> 00:49:11,374
He's got quite a turn of speed actually.
737
00:49:11,415 --> 00:49:14,748
(Whispering) For God's sake,
don't ruin it for us both!
738
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:18,949
I don't think there's any call
for that kind of language, Lovejoy.
739
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:23,426
I mean, he's rubbish, but you might as well
run him since he's entered.
740
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:25,519
I've no idea what he's talking about.
741
00:49:25,562 --> 00:49:28,360
Explain the facts of life to him, will you, Tinker?
742
00:49:28,398 --> 00:49:32,835
The girlfriend's got a fortune on Lassy
to win for both of us.
743
00:49:32,869 --> 00:49:34,860
Well, don't expect me to bet on him.
744
00:49:35,706 --> 00:49:38,106
Oh, no, I'm sorry,
I'm not putting a penny on him.
745
00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:39,608
What's he on about?
746
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:46,446
At a guess, I'd say there's a scam afoot
and Lassy's reluctance to run is part of it.
747
00:49:46,483 --> 00:49:50,476
What's all that shouting?
Anybody earwigging will think he's useless.
748
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:55,690
- But he will run, with the right encouragement.
- Eh?
749
00:49:55,726 --> 00:50:00,459
(PA) And Trap 6, Mr. M Tandy's Lassy,
trained my Malcolm Tandy.
750
00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:04,056
(Cheering)
751
00:50:04,868 --> 00:50:06,859
(All) Get him, boy!
752
00:50:11,608 --> 00:50:14,076
(Chanting) Lassy! Lassy! Lassy!
753
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,710
(Cheering)
754
00:50:26,423 --> 00:50:28,414
Eric...61217
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