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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,404 [Cheeful music] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,902 Rebecca: Love is so great, 5 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,971 that it's almost unreal. 6 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,374 I feel bad for the people who can't find it. 7 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,678 We've all met those types who try to convince their co-workers 8 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,580 that they're fine without it. 9 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,816 And then you take a look at their cubicles 10 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,484 and see heart-shaped frames all over their desks 11 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:56,088 with pictures of their three-legged cat named Bob. 12 00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,225 Not me. Not anymore. 13 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,127 I've paid my dues. 14 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:08,200 Old people always say, "when you meet the one, you'll know." 15 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,201 Well, they're right. 16 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,203 I mean when I met Richard, 17 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:14,573 it felt like the butterflies in my belly 18 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:18,510 dusted off the cobwebs and started fluttering again. 19 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,780 He was the one. 20 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,183 My only one. 21 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,499 Oh my God! 22 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,671 Oh, my God! 23 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,275 Oh, my God! 24 00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:53,979 Oh, my God! 25 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:57,216 Oh, my God! 26 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,320 Oh, my God! 27 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,189 Oh, my God! 28 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,861 [Crying] 29 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,302 No! No! I don't get it. 30 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,605 Hey, wait! 31 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,173 Are you guys hiring? 32 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,342 Because no one cares about love anymore. 33 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,512 So why not just have sex and get paid for it, you know? 34 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,113 Oh, come on! 35 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:31,483 Who cares if my vagina falls off from all the diseases out there? 36 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,520 I'll take some open sores. 37 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,090 Yoo-hoo! You want some of this? 38 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,361 Come on! I got what it takes. 39 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,197 No? Okay. 40 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,312 Oh, my God! 41 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:03,715 I cannot get laid tonight out of my head! 42 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:08,854 Richard! Richard and his little... 43 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,191 Wait. What's her name? 44 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:16,128 Oh, yeah. Whore. 45 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,563 Hey, baby. I'm home. 46 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:22,067 They paid me 200 bucks to take a picture of a pink poodle. 47 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,435 [Arf] 48 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:29,408 Richard! Is this mu-shu still good? 49 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,311 [Moaning] 50 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,152 Hey baby. 51 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,388 Because we got it Tuesday? 52 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,823 And there's pork in it? 53 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,893 I'm gonna... 54 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,428 Go. 55 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:10,382 You're late. 56 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,051 I've been waiting. Sit down. 57 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:17,289 Come on, sit down. Give me your hands. 58 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,294 You are such a lost soul. 59 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,363 You're in pain. Someone hurt you. 60 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:28,800 Someone ripped your heart out and tried to play badminton with it. 61 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,469 This man who hurt you... 62 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,570 He's a dark spirit. 63 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,472 I see blackness all around him. 64 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,374 But wait! 65 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,409 What? 66 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,945 I see a white pony. He stands alone. 67 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,781 His spirit is very bright. 68 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,084 He runs toward you, and...And... 69 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,152 And? 70 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:50,455 Oh! You turn away! I hate that part. 71 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,556 Why did I turn away? 72 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,425 Because you have to learn the lessons 73 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,594 before you can ride the white pony. 74 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:59,798 White pony? Can't he be a white stallion or something? 75 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:04,403 No, it's the white pony that you will ride into the sunset. 76 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,406 Only then can you have the happy ending you desire. 77 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,075 But first, you have to believe. 78 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,778 And you have to learn the lessons that come before. 79 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,347 Lessons? What kind of lessons? 80 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,615 Your own spirit. 81 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:20,285 Not that bright yet. It needs its roots done. 82 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:21,420 But you're close. 83 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:25,290 First, though, you must go through more pain 84 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:29,361 before your heart can find true happiness. 85 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,830 Well, that just sucks. 86 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,265 Well, it only gets worse. 87 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,333 You gotta be kidding me. 88 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,767 What, do I look like a comedian? 89 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,336 If you don't pay attention, 90 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:40,038 if you don't listen to your inner psychic voice, 91 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,275 if you choose the wrong paths and the wrong situations, 92 00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:45,544 if you think you can just do it all on your own- 93 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,378 what? 94 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,612 If you ignore the signs... 95 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,481 Love will never find its way into your heart. 96 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:56,988 You'll live a lonely, desperate, isolated, miserable existence. 97 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,392 I would not want to be you. 98 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,542 [Telephone ringing] 99 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,382 Who is it? 100 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,484 Hi, Carrie, it's Rebecca. 101 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:28,453 What time is it? 102 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,389 10:00 am. 103 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,992 Why? 104 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,429 I never realized how beautiful it is in the morning. 105 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,530 Birds chirping. 106 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:41,099 The smell of ass on Hollywood boulevard. 107 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,769 Hey! You want to start jogging? 108 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,903 No kidding, let's jog. 109 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,505 Are you on crack, Rebecca? 110 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,607 I am not jogging. 111 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,574 Please. 112 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,043 Have you seen my boobs lately? 113 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,278 Yeah. They're pretty. 114 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,614 Of course they are, and you know why? 115 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,549 Because I don't fucking jog! 116 00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:02,087 Besides, I have my "animal kingdom" audition in a couple of hours. 117 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,523 Want to go shopping? 118 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,425 Okay. 119 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,527 Wow! 120 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,729 He's a jerk, 'bec. 121 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:14,366 A cocksucking loser jerk. 122 00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:15,434 Oh, my God. 123 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,735 Every time something like this happens, 124 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,438 it makes me seriously want to consider lesbianism. 125 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,540 You can't even stand looking at your own vagina. 126 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,743 That's not true. I just had to figure out which department did what. 127 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:30,148 Hey! Maybe you can concentrate more on your work now. 128 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,618 I have been concentrating. 129 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,921 It just takes awhile to go from sandwich ads 130 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,623 and dog shows to vanity fair covers. 131 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,459 It doesn't just happen overnight. 132 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,461 Oh! Oh, no! 133 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,261 What? 134 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,963 I left my camera, my lenses, 135 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,598 my tripod, my gels, everything. 136 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,501 I left my future at Richard's. 137 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,735 Oh, no. 138 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,477 No. No way. I am not going over to his house. 139 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,612 Well, I'm not going to his house. 140 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,914 Michelle. 141 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,484 Oh, hell no! 142 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,919 For real? 143 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,755 Whew, girl. 144 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,592 You know I'll get your stuff, girl. 145 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,693 Um-hmm. 146 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,762 Nah, nah, nah, I ain't gonna beat his ass. 147 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,632 I can't speak for John, though. 148 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:24,402 That shit would be funny, right? 149 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,137 [Screaming] 150 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,540 I got to go. 151 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,412 What the hell are you doing? 152 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,682 Hot bacon. 153 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,117 Three o'clock. 154 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,020 That's not bacon. That's porterhouse. 155 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,524 Oh, no. He's wearing sneakers. 156 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,626 You can have him. 157 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,461 Fuck that. 158 00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,496 I'm not going near that world. 159 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,631 It's gong to be a very long time 160 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,699 before Rebecca goes searching for another dick. 161 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,469 The best medicine is to get back out there. 162 00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,572 There's nothing wrong with a little gratuitous sex 163 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,573 to help mend the pain. 164 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,376 Remember the last time we were all single? 165 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,977 We had sex with everyone. 166 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,247 Carrie, Brad pitt's throbbing cock couldn't help me right now. 167 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:13,218 Nothing in the world could heal this pain that I'm going- 168 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,519 what? 169 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,155 Do you remember how jealous Richard would get 170 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,491 when any guy would go near me? 171 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,092 Hey, baby. 172 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:22,727 What? 173 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,596 Can I help you? 174 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,097 Richard! No! 175 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,701 What the hell do you think you're doing? 176 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,036 Pap smear. 177 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,005 Yeah. He would go apeshit. 178 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,740 Exactly. 179 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,109 So I show up at Richard's fashion show tonight with another guy 180 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,945 he sees me mauling him and his insides 181 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,547 will get eaten up almost as bad as mine did. 182 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,883 It's the best revenge. Revenge. 183 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:45,750 How do I look? 184 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,085 Like a summer flower 185 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,956 that got rained on and stung by a bee. 186 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,426 Go, go, go. 187 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,795 ¶ Fire it up ¶ 188 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,030 ¶ let's go party down ¶ 189 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,632 ¶ light it up ¶ 190 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,934 ¶ let's go party down ¶ 191 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,705 ¶ light it up ¶ let's go party down ¶ 192 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:11,710 ¶ fire it up ¶ let's go party ¶ 193 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,445 ¶ fire it up ¶ 194 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,714 ¶ let's go party down ¶ 195 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,218 ¶ light it up ¶ 196 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,653 hi. 197 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,921 Hi. 198 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,889 I was just sitting over there with my friend 199 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:28,660 and thought you were kind of staring at... 200 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,561 Me? 201 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:32,998 Yeah. I was staring at you. 202 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,767 What are you doing for lunch? 203 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:36,968 Nothing. 204 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,805 Nothing. Do you like Chinese? 205 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,641 Huh? Chinese food. 206 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:46,845 Chicken chow mein and mu-shu pork. You know. 207 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,881 Mu-shu. 208 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,818 If you don't like Chinese, we could always just... 209 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,288 No. No. What are you doing tonight? 210 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,658 You want to go to this fashion show with me? 211 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,360 Sweetheart, do you have your gold card? 212 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,697 I seem to have left mine at home. 213 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,198 Who's this? 214 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,517 I don't know. 215 00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,835 It's just some bimbo hitting on me. 216 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,856 Come on, bitch! Hurry up. Let's go. 217 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:36,061 It's not like I do this for a living, you know. 218 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,365 Oh, shit! 219 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,800 What? 220 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,006 I can't even believe you fell for that shit. 221 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,708 Very funny, Michelle. 222 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,716 See how it's done? 223 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,719 That's what I was gonna do. 224 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:10,328 Look at him, thinking he look all good and shit. 225 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,732 This is exactly why I don't date models. 226 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:17,769 I don't see what she saw in the guy. 227 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,504 Well, it's all over now. 228 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:23,675 We can all kiss Richard's stank ass goodbye. 229 00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,077 Now get her shit and let's go. 230 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,780 I gotta call my baby daddy. 231 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,863 Holy shit! 232 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,877 What the hell are you doing? 233 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,582 What's up, dog? 234 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,251 What? 235 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:41,920 You got a problem? 236 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:46,524 You want to... you want to dance here? 237 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,794 You want to take this outside? 238 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,163 Huh? What's up? 239 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,099 Just get the hell out of here. 240 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,836 You screwed up, man. 241 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,873 You had a rose but you had to go and pluck a weed. 242 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,541 Then to make things even worse, 243 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,010 you go and fuck up all her camera equipment. 244 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:09,180 What kind of sick bastard are you? 245 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,650 That was her whole life, you asshole! 246 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,253 She sucked at it, anyway. 247 00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,538 You and me, buddy. 248 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:37,308 You and me! 249 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,913 When? 250 00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,584 Some day. 251 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,289 Some day. 252 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,159 Michelle: What up, dick? 253 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,728 Just a little water. 254 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,597 That ain't mud on your bed. 255 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,300 So let's go. 256 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,607 I'm getting non-stop excitement! 257 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,443 If you start coming with me, 258 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,545 I told you you'd have better luck here. 259 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,549 It can't be that hard to find one normal guy in this town 260 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,251 just to use for one night. 261 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,586 It's not hard at all. 262 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,121 They're begging to get used. 263 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,088 That last guy was a fluke. 264 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,924 Who the fuck would ask someone out 265 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,059 with their wife shopping two feet away? 266 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,460 I don't get it, Carrie. 267 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,963 I mean, I gave my heart to Richard. 268 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,565 What made him feel the need to have another woman? 269 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,535 Well, that's easy. Penis insecurity. 270 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,771 When the penis doesn't get enough showmanship, 271 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:43,241 it has to remind itself that it's still an almighty tool 272 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,742 and that it could make any woman moan. 273 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,945 Not one that got used to it like yours, 274 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,147 but one from uncharted waters. 275 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,248 Carrie winters? 276 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,084 Right here, honey. Wish me luck. 277 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,119 Good luck. 278 00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:11,169 ¶ Love is never equal ¶ 279 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:15,006 ¶ I learned that early at home ¶ 280 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,443 ¶ someone always loves more ¶ 281 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,145 ¶ than the other ¶ 282 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,883 how you doing? 283 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,022 I'm Mike. 284 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,191 Hi. 285 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,029 You're so gonna get this part. 286 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,999 Oh. I'm not an actress? 287 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,167 What? 288 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,169 You're so hot. 289 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,106 Like smoking hot. 290 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:52,543 You're like hot air popcorn popper hot. 291 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,277 Thank you. 292 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,881 Like hotter than exhaust hot. 293 00:16:56,883 --> 00:17:01,052 Hotter than the devil's pitchfork hot. 294 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,693 What's that smell? 295 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,032 I don't smell anything. 296 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,201 It's totally doing something to me. 297 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,805 What is that? 298 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,080 It's coming from you. 299 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:33,151 What is that beautiful scent you've got on? 300 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,086 Deodorant? 301 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:41,225 To me it smells like... Obsession. 302 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,132 Hey, baby. 303 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,902 You! 304 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,340 You smell so hot. 305 00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,843 So hold on to your seats, everyone. 306 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,879 Because we're gonna bring you heart-stopping, 307 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:06,751 claw-biting, family action fun! 308 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,219 That was just- 309 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,354 great. Wonderful. 310 00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,123 Really? 311 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,858 Right on! 312 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,094 How long have you been in the business? 313 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,363 Longer than you can scream arggh! 314 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:23,468 Oh! You're a feisty little one. 315 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:27,271 Hey, are you guys single by any chance? 316 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,575 As a matter of fact, we both are. 317 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:34,178 Really? I'll be right back. 318 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,615 Rebecca! Come on in here. They want to meet you. 319 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,317 No. No. I don't want to. 320 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:43,287 Just get your ass in here! Hurry up! 321 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,058 Now! 322 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:52,163 Rebecca, I'd like you to meet our dates for tonight. 323 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:08,713 Why? Why? Why? Why? 324 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,283 Excuse me. 325 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,852 The least you could do is thank me. 326 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,921 For what? 327 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,156 We have dates. 328 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,424 Yeah. With two guys that are one chromosome away 329 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,626 from being Woody Allen. 330 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:25,163 Woody is hot and you know it. 331 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,131 Remember in "white men can't jump" 332 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,833 when they were playing basketball, 333 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,937 and he took off his shirt and he looked all golden like the sunset, 334 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,272 rising up to- 335 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,806 what are you talking about? I said Woody Allen. 336 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,276 Oh. Who's he? 337 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,628 Listen to me, Chrissy snow, 338 00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:42,979 if Richard gets one good look at this mug I'm with, 339 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,348 he'll piss in his pants. 340 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,285 No jealousy, my friend. Just laughter. 341 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,788 I figured it out for you, Janet woods. 342 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,291 When Richard comes down that catwalk, 343 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,358 I'm gonna shout out to him. 344 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,693 When he looks down you grab milo 345 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,295 and you put his head between your breasts. 346 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:01,499 He won't see that mug, just a man nestled in your large bosoms. 347 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,967 Not bad. 348 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,902 I'm going, okay? Damn! 349 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,337 Sorry. 350 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,139 I don't understand why we gotta be running this shit. 351 00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,640 Because 'bec left a note that said 352 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,543 "save me, it's an emergency, love, Annie hall." 353 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,412 This shit never be starting on time. 354 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:19,317 Hold on. You have to wait. It's way too crowded in there. 355 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,851 Wait for someone to come out. 356 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,221 Oh, hell naw. Do you know who I am? 357 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,590 Huh? 358 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:32,396 Oh, no. The small-time crooks are looking more like cheech and Chong. 359 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,333 Hi. 360 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,236 Wow. Look at the beautiful shiksas. 361 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,770 Two beautiful shiksas. 362 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,606 So how was I today? 363 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:42,907 You were great. 364 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,209 Will you be my bubbela? 365 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,344 [Belches] 366 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,179 Sorry. 367 00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:53,851 You know, I could do wonders for you, baby. 368 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,286 Uh-huh. 369 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,354 Is that so? 370 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,223 Yeah. That is so. 371 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,625 That's right. 372 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,962 I'm gonna make you cry like a little baby right now. 373 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:05,863 Uh-huh. 374 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,432 Let me get all up in that chest. 375 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,434 Uh-huh. 376 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,203 Yeah, baby. 377 00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,104 Ow! 378 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,505 Um-hmm. 379 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:20,611 Hiya! Who thinks you're cute? 380 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,379 I do. 381 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,281 Wanna take me home? 382 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,315 No. 383 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,716 Is it 'cause I'm too tall? 384 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,386 I've got a ladder with your name on it. 385 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,420 No. 386 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,055 Is it because you think I'm ugly? 387 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:31,722 No. 388 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,657 Because you're gay? 389 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,558 No. Oh. Impotent? 390 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,893 No. 391 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:36,894 Is it that you just don't understand the vagina? 392 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,964 No. I'd be happy to draw a chart. 393 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:55,079 Carrie, you should pay attention, all right? 394 00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,381 'Cause he's gonna come down any minute. 395 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:09,427 [Electronic rock plays] 396 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,943 Hey, Richard! 397 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,470 Oh, my God! 398 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,537 Oh, my God! 399 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,407 Oh, my God! 400 00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:58,209 Why do these things keep happening to me? 401 00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:04,315 A handsome one who has his dick go in the wrong fucking hole! 402 00:23:04,317 --> 00:23:07,385 It's not fair! 403 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:13,391 I'm the one who's humiliated all the time! 404 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,059 It's not fair! 405 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,160 Girl! 406 00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:16,861 The humiliation, throwing up in my face. 407 00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:18,162 What, 'chelle? Girl! 408 00:23:18,164 --> 00:23:19,430 Are you crazy? 409 00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:22,466 Your big old tittie's hanging out. 410 00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,573 Fuck it! 411 00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:33,978 They're just fucking globs of fat! 412 00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:37,148 That girl crazy. 413 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,586 [Crying] 414 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:55,833 You know, you're wasting water. 415 00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,971 But we really have to get out of here, 416 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,406 because there's this giant woman 417 00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:05,109 that's gonna come chasing after me any second from now. 418 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,011 I'm serious. 419 00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:10,881 Do you want to go get some ice cream? 420 00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:27,565 Tell me I don't smell like puke anymore. 421 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:30,568 You don't smell like puke anymore. 422 00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:34,538 You're a bad liar. 423 00:24:35,408 --> 00:24:36,674 What can I get you two? 424 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:40,311 I'll have the "I just got dumped" sundae. 425 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,646 I don't think that's on the menu, dear. 426 00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:46,617 Then make me the best sundae you could possibly imagine 427 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,787 that would take away every painful experience 428 00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:53,491 that any man ever did you wrong. 429 00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,194 You know what I think? 430 00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,530 What do you think, John? 431 00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:01,966 I think everything happens for a reason. 432 00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:06,170 Oh, God. Please don't give me any of that spiritual crap. 433 00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:07,771 I heard it from a psychic this morning. 434 00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:10,674 The best I'm ever gonna find is a white pony. 435 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,209 And to tell you the truth, 436 00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:13,944 I'd settle for a brown donkey. 437 00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,614 You know what, 'bec, maybe that's your problem. 438 00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:20,718 You just keep on settling for these idiots. 439 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,319 I have known you for so long, 440 00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:26,724 and every single day, you teach me how to be a better person. 441 00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:28,526 But for whatever reason, 442 00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:32,796 you will not let someone love you the way you deserve to be loved. 443 00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:37,935 And how should I be loved, John? 444 00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,744 Thank you. 445 00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:51,615 I just have to go to the back. Be right back. 446 00:25:53,853 --> 00:25:55,252 God, you're such an idiot! 447 00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:57,688 You just gotta fucking say it, John. 448 00:25:57,690 --> 00:25:59,690 Say the fucking words! 449 00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:03,060 Say it out loud. Okay? 450 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:07,765 Rebecca, you should be loved like no one else in this world. 451 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:12,202 You should smile every day knowing that every morsel of your being 452 00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:16,173 is being nourished by a man that will do anything he can 453 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,708 to make Rebecca happy. 454 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:21,278 Me, Rebecca. I love you. 455 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,747 The way you should be loved 456 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:27,751 is to be loved by me. 457 00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:33,123 See that? There you go. 458 00:26:35,394 --> 00:26:36,594 That's good. 459 00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:39,530 That was beautiful. 460 00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:41,699 Thanks. 461 00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:43,968 All right. 462 00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:51,809 Rebecca, there's something I gotta tell you. 463 00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:55,813 Listen, if you tell me that you're dying of a terminal illness, 464 00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:58,616 I swear to God I'm gonna kill myself. 465 00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:00,317 I'm not dying. 466 00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:02,686 Oh, thank God. 467 00:27:04,657 --> 00:27:07,291 Well, what is it? 468 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:11,495 Richard destroyed all your camera equipment. 469 00:27:14,634 --> 00:27:16,000 What? 470 00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,334 When I went to your place to pick up all your stuff, 471 00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:23,807 your equipment was in the corner and he just... he ruined it. 472 00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,682 I'm sorry. 473 00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:35,653 What am I gonna do? 474 00:27:35,655 --> 00:27:37,121 I'm not gonna be able to work. 475 00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:39,323 I can't afford to buy new equipment. 476 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:40,758 It'll be fine. 477 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,293 I'll pawn one of my guitars- 478 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,429 no. No, John. 479 00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:46,997 You've been collecting those things 480 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:50,567 since Keanu Reeves started his first band. 481 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:53,003 Just forget it. It's useless. 482 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:56,373 I have no future. I have no future. 483 00:27:56,375 --> 00:28:01,512 No, Rebecca. What if your future's sitting right next to you, huh? 484 00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:04,715 Maybe the person sitting right next to you 485 00:28:04,717 --> 00:28:07,151 wants to spend their entire life making Rebecca happy. 486 00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:10,187 You know, stop drowning yourself in this dark pit 487 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,056 and pick yourself up and realize 488 00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:17,061 that the person sitting next to you might just be your entire existence. 489 00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:20,864 Please take a chance for once. 490 00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:24,334 Excuse me. 491 00:28:24,336 --> 00:28:26,070 Yes? 492 00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:27,805 Are you, by chance, my future? 493 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:31,709 Yes, I believe I am. 494 00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,878 What do you think? Should I go for it? 495 00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:39,249 All right. Wish me luck. 496 00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:40,651 What's your name? 497 00:28:40,653 --> 00:28:41,985 Rebecca. I'm Jake. 498 00:28:41,987 --> 00:28:43,654 Hi, Jake. 499 00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:56,166 Can I have one "I'm a complete dumbass pussy" sundae, please? 500 00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:02,573 [Disco music plays] 501 00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,092 Are you sure this is ecstasy? 502 00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,428 Oh, yeah. Without a doubt. 503 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,598 It's even mildly laced with acid. 504 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,366 Huh? 505 00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:40,310 Shush! 506 00:29:45,484 --> 00:29:48,886 You like to experiment sexually? 507 00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:53,290 What do you mean? 508 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:56,827 You know, try new things. 509 00:29:56,829 --> 00:30:01,465 Um...Not really. 510 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:06,870 Good. I can't wait to get you. 511 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,184 Shush. 512 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,932 Now count to thirty and come into the bedroom. 513 00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:37,167 Okay. 514 00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:44,842 If this is my future, 515 00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,177 I pray a large piano falls out of the sky 516 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,947 and hits me right now. 517 00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:58,388 Why can't drug hallucinations be real? 518 00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:01,892 The shit's starting to kick. 519 00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:43,233 What the hell, Rebecca? 520 00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,802 Let's have some fun. 521 00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:54,678 Time to go fishing, baby. 522 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,114 Touch my bass, Rebecca. 523 00:31:57,116 --> 00:32:03,921 Touch my bass! 524 00:32:04,223 --> 00:32:07,457 Touch my fucking bass! 525 00:32:16,936 --> 00:32:18,535 Michelle: She look dead. 526 00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:20,070 Carrie: She's not dead. 527 00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,471 How do you know? 528 00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,073 'Cause she'd be blue. 529 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:25,809 Hey, girl. 530 00:32:25,811 --> 00:32:28,211 You still with us? 531 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,984 Whew! She smells like fish! 532 00:32:33,986 --> 00:32:35,803 Oh, my God! 533 00:32:35,804 --> 00:32:37,621 Did you sleep with Charlie the tuna last night, 534 00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:39,790 or do you need to douche? 535 00:32:39,792 --> 00:32:43,660 Just leave me alone. 536 00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:47,431 Take your time. Don't nobody want to smell that. 537 00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:50,000 Um-um. 538 00:32:51,837 --> 00:32:52,769 [Bell rings] 539 00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:54,271 [Birds chirping] 540 00:32:54,273 --> 00:32:55,339 [Beeping] 541 00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:57,975 Rebecca, I got you some food. 542 00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:00,377 Huh? 543 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:21,465 [Bell rings] 544 00:33:21,467 --> 00:33:22,599 [Birds chirping] 545 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,569 [Beeping] 546 00:33:43,022 --> 00:33:46,823 What in the hell are you doing? 547 00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:49,026 I knew that shit wake you up, girl. 548 00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:51,061 You been sleeping for three days. 549 00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:53,630 I was not sleeping. 550 00:33:53,632 --> 00:33:55,532 I was thinking. 551 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:58,568 Yeah. Well, you might think better 552 00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:00,570 when you don't smell like a dead fish. 553 00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:07,544 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 554 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:12,949 Don't ever say that word again. 555 00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:15,252 Okay. 556 00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:19,389 Well, I'm gonna go cook some frozen food. 557 00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,858 I can make you a fish stick. 558 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,093 Rebecca: Shut up! 559 00:34:23,095 --> 00:34:24,594 Oh, shit. 560 00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:25,495 What now? 561 00:34:25,497 --> 00:34:27,197 Aunt flo came early this month. 562 00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:30,200 Well, girl, at least you ain't pregnant and shit. 563 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:32,769 Know what I'm saying? 564 00:34:33,072 --> 00:34:36,239 Would you help her with a baby? 565 00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:38,175 I don't know. Would you? 566 00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:39,709 Babies are sticky. 567 00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:42,279 Well, at least she could get some food stamps or something. 568 00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:46,283 Yeah, 'cause Richard would've done nothing to help the baby. 569 00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:47,851 Rebecca: Will you guys shut up? 570 00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:50,620 You mean to tell me with the two of you living here 571 00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:53,123 you don't have one tampon in the house? 572 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,025 No. We're out. 573 00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:57,227 Well, can you go buy me some? 574 00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:58,695 I ain't got no money. 575 00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,697 Just forget it. 576 00:35:17,816 --> 00:35:20,150 What do you mean, I have herpes? 577 00:35:20,152 --> 00:35:21,418 That's not possible. 578 00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:25,822 I've only slept with one guy in my entire life. 579 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:27,591 People like me don't get diseases. 580 00:35:27,593 --> 00:35:29,559 People like you get herpes all the time. 581 00:35:29,561 --> 00:35:33,497 It's the naive ones who think it can't happen to them. 582 00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,969 But doctor... 583 00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:43,340 God, I can't live in this state of pain. 584 00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:45,842 [Sobbing] 585 00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,677 You won't have to. 586 00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,279 It's called "herpes away." 587 00:35:49,281 --> 00:35:52,115 It's a creamy little ointment without any deadly side effects. 588 00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:55,185 "Take once a day to avoid outbreaks." 589 00:35:55,187 --> 00:35:56,453 This is amazing. 590 00:35:56,455 --> 00:35:59,956 I can't wait to tell my friends all about it. 591 00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,858 Just stop. 592 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,426 What's wrong? 593 00:36:03,428 --> 00:36:05,162 I'm not believing a word you're saying. 594 00:36:05,164 --> 00:36:06,763 Well, duh, that's 'cause I'm acting. 595 00:36:06,765 --> 00:36:09,099 I mean, I see quite a few things on your resume. 596 00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:11,868 And I think, how could anybody have ever hired you? 597 00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:14,971 And then it dawns on me, I bet every time you did get hired, 598 00:36:14,973 --> 00:36:16,273 it was always by a man. 599 00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:18,208 You need to pay your dues in acting. 600 00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:19,376 Not with men. 601 00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:22,345 You don't know what you're talking about. 602 00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:26,383 I hope one day you do know what I'm talking about. 603 00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,118 Yeah? 604 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,321 Well, I hate to rain on your parade, lady. 605 00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:34,958 But this shit doesn't work. 606 00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:40,297 Store announcer: What's for dinner? 607 00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:43,200 We've got a special on ground Chuck today, ladies. 608 00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:46,403 You can't go wrong with meat. 609 00:36:52,978 --> 00:36:55,111 Oh, shit. 610 00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:03,987 Oh, no. 611 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,499 Oh, no! 612 00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:20,570 Shit! 613 00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:32,282 Hello? Hello, please hurry up. 614 00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:33,416 It's an emergency. 615 00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:35,118 This is an emergency, too, sweetheart. 616 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,187 [Loud flatulence] 617 00:37:54,039 --> 00:37:58,808 Store announcer: Irv, we need a clean-up on aisle two. 618 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,315 Store announcer: Irv, we need a clean-up on aisle two. 619 00:38:08,553 --> 00:38:11,554 Oh, help, I've fallen. 620 00:38:11,556 --> 00:38:15,325 Oh! Oh, and I'm bleeding. 621 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,360 Oh, no! 622 00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:45,822 Store announcer: Irv, we need a clean-up in produce. 623 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,225 Oh, shit! 624 00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:54,364 Store announcer: Irv, we need a clean-up in produce. 625 00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:58,868 No. Thanks, irv, I've got it covered. 626 00:39:10,048 --> 00:39:12,349 When they were in the bag, they were $1.99. 627 00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:15,018 Well, I can't ring them up unless they're in the bag. 628 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:17,887 There is no bag. This is all that's left, okay? 629 00:39:17,889 --> 00:39:19,222 I already told you. 630 00:39:19,224 --> 00:39:21,324 If they're not in the bag, I can't ring them up. 631 00:39:21,326 --> 00:39:22,359 Listen, sweetheart, 632 00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:23,393 we're both girls, okay? 633 00:39:23,395 --> 00:39:25,128 Just give me a break. 634 00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:27,364 The longer I stand here, the more irv's gonna have to clean up. 635 00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:30,400 That seems to be your problem, not mine. 636 00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:31,701 No. Please- 637 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:33,636 irv, could we get a price check, please, 638 00:39:33,638 --> 00:39:35,405 on the super-size maxi pads 639 00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:39,275 for the woman who keeps bleeding all over the store. 640 00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:51,888 Stop her! 641 00:39:52,391 --> 00:39:53,490 Wait! Wait! 642 00:39:53,492 --> 00:39:55,492 I'll knock you out! I'll knock you out! 643 00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:58,261 You don't run no more! Don't run no more! 644 00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,130 I'll knock you out! 645 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:10,840 I'll get you, lady. 646 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:24,721 Hey, 'bec. 647 00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:25,588 Hi. 648 00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:27,023 How's it going? Okay. 649 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,258 What have you there? 650 00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:29,659 Nothing. 651 00:40:52,717 --> 00:40:55,618 So when are you gonna see him again? 652 00:40:55,620 --> 00:40:56,653 Tonight. 653 00:40:56,655 --> 00:40:57,987 He's taking me to the contra grill. 654 00:40:57,989 --> 00:41:00,623 You're so lucky to be dating a model. 655 00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,058 He's not just a model. 656 00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:04,494 H's fucking Richard huntington. 657 00:41:04,496 --> 00:41:05,662 Top model. 658 00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:07,964 He just landed three richeau commercials. 659 00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,399 That's huge! 660 00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:11,468 Maybe I'll catch a drink with you guys after dinner. 661 00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:13,303 You can't. Why not? 662 00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,972 After dinner I'm gonna fuck the shit out of him. 663 00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:17,507 You're so lucky. I know. 664 00:41:17,509 --> 00:41:22,412 Do you think maybe you could hook me up with one of his friends? 665 00:41:22,414 --> 00:41:24,514 No. 666 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,791 You a cyclist or just play for the other team? 667 00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:37,594 Why? 'Cause I'm waxing my legs? 668 00:41:37,596 --> 00:41:39,696 I get real, real nosy sometime. 669 00:41:39,698 --> 00:41:42,265 I like to know everything, you know? 670 00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:45,368 What you need to do is wax that ass. 671 00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:46,936 I'm actually a magician. 672 00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:49,706 I'm doing an underwater trick on the tonight show next week, 673 00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:51,941 and I can't have any hair on my legs. 674 00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:54,277 That's cool. That's real dope. 675 00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:55,144 Where you from? 676 00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:58,948 I flew in from Chicago, actually. 677 00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:02,652 Hey! What you doing tonight? 678 00:42:02,654 --> 00:42:05,555 'Cause I would love to hook you up with my girl. 679 00:42:05,557 --> 00:42:07,023 You know what I'm saying? 680 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,191 Uh-huh. 681 00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:09,726 She been through a lot of shit. You know? 682 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:13,162 Take her out to dinner, make her feel real good. 683 00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:14,564 That could be fun. 684 00:42:14,566 --> 00:42:15,632 That would be real nice. 685 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,834 She need to get out real, real bad. 686 00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:20,503 She done been through some shit. 687 00:42:20,505 --> 00:42:22,405 Ow! 688 00:42:24,743 --> 00:42:26,643 Well,she sounds great. 689 00:42:26,645 --> 00:42:28,578 Oh, no, no, no, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. 690 00:42:28,580 --> 00:42:30,914 You know, she a super-cool Barbie doll 691 00:42:30,916 --> 00:42:32,415 that just got dumped by Ken. 692 00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:35,752 But she cool, she a good girl, you know what I'm saying? 693 00:42:35,754 --> 00:42:39,389 Is there some place, you know, cool, 694 00:42:39,391 --> 00:42:41,658 that you recommend that I could take her? 695 00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:43,693 Uh... 696 00:42:43,695 --> 00:42:45,495 Ah! 697 00:42:45,497 --> 00:42:47,697 You know, I was thinking maybe you could take her to the contra grill. 698 00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:51,634 Around 8:00. Don't be late 'cause I'll beat your ass. 699 00:42:53,738 --> 00:42:54,704 Anything else? 700 00:42:54,706 --> 00:42:56,673 Pay me forty bucks for the wax. 701 00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:59,576 And twenty bucks 'cause I look good. 702 00:42:59,578 --> 00:43:04,414 Oh. Oh, here you go. 703 00:43:04,416 --> 00:43:06,683 Keep the change. 704 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,885 Yo, this only a dollar. 705 00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:11,487 Oh. Yeah. 706 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,590 Look again. 707 00:43:14,726 --> 00:43:19,362 Hey! Whew, baby! That's my boy! 708 00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:20,763 It's magic. 709 00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:24,067 Rebecca: "You will experience the tingling sensation 710 00:43:24,069 --> 00:43:26,469 "as the fatty acids and fruit enzymes 711 00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:29,706 replenish the nutrients in your skin." 712 00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:34,611 Hi. How are you? 713 00:43:34,613 --> 00:43:37,080 Tom, is it? 714 00:43:37,082 --> 00:43:38,247 I'm Rebecca. 715 00:43:38,249 --> 00:43:40,617 So you're a magician, huh? 716 00:43:40,619 --> 00:43:41,751 That's cool. 717 00:43:41,753 --> 00:43:45,154 This? Oh it's syphilis. 718 00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:47,256 I caught it in prison. 719 00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:50,526 Hey, where are you going? 720 00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:56,733 "Remove with one smooth motion." 721 00:43:59,904 --> 00:44:01,738 Ow! 722 00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:11,881 Oh, my God! 723 00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:17,654 One, two, three! 724 00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:21,290 Oh, for crying out loud, Rebecca. 725 00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,626 Revenge is not the solution. 726 00:44:23,628 --> 00:44:25,328 I'll be fine. 727 00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:26,796 I think. 728 00:44:26,798 --> 00:44:29,098 And now, you have lost your fiance. 729 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,801 You're not gonna have kids till you're fifty! 730 00:44:31,803 --> 00:44:33,870 Mom, we were never engaged. 731 00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:35,271 That is just great to hear. 732 00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:38,775 You have been living with this man for two years. 733 00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:39,876 Mom, I- 734 00:44:39,878 --> 00:44:41,377 you need to find a good catholic boy. 735 00:44:41,379 --> 00:44:44,347 What about that nice fella that works for you? 736 00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:45,682 Who, John? 737 00:44:45,684 --> 00:44:49,052 See? He's even named after one of the disciples. 738 00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:51,054 Mom, I am so not his type. 739 00:44:51,056 --> 00:44:53,022 So what are you gonna do with your life now? 740 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:56,159 Shoot up some heroin and become a sex slave. 741 00:44:56,161 --> 00:44:58,728 Oh, for Pete's sakes! 742 00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,063 Ma, did you hear that? 743 00:45:00,065 --> 00:45:01,764 Hear what? 744 00:45:02,901 --> 00:45:05,034 Oh, mercy! 745 00:45:05,904 --> 00:45:08,337 [Flatulence] 746 00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:09,872 Ha! 747 00:45:13,011 --> 00:45:16,079 Come on. Come on. 748 00:45:19,584 --> 00:45:22,218 Okay. Okay. 749 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:25,822 Okay. Okay. 750 00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:28,257 Okay, now I gotta zip. 751 00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:31,394 Okay. Here we go. 752 00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:34,464 Fuck! 753 00:45:35,934 --> 00:45:39,669 Come on, please. Okay. 754 00:45:39,671 --> 00:45:43,106 Just one more thing. 755 00:45:43,108 --> 00:45:44,874 Just let me button them. 756 00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:46,542 I swear to God I'll be good. 757 00:45:46,544 --> 00:45:49,378 Okay? Here we go, God. 758 00:45:49,380 --> 00:45:52,815 One, two, three! 759 00:45:54,018 --> 00:45:56,786 Okay. Oh, fuck! 760 00:45:56,788 --> 00:45:58,855 Fuck! 761 00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,294 Fuck you. 762 00:46:11,069 --> 00:46:13,202 Puff the magic dragon's in the house. 763 00:46:13,204 --> 00:46:14,771 You think you could magically make my ass smaller? 764 00:46:14,773 --> 00:46:18,040 Carrie didn't tell me that her jeans were size negative 4. 765 00:46:18,042 --> 00:46:19,442 They're baggy on me. 766 00:46:19,444 --> 00:46:21,611 But don't let you big ass deter you from your mission. 767 00:46:21,613 --> 00:46:24,480 We want Richard to eat his heart out. 768 00:46:24,482 --> 00:46:27,283 Oh, he will. 769 00:46:34,726 --> 00:46:36,826 Two of hearts. 770 00:46:37,428 --> 00:46:39,695 Oh, my God. 771 00:46:50,842 --> 00:46:53,409 Hey, do you want a beer? 772 00:46:53,411 --> 00:46:54,944 Yeah. 773 00:46:54,946 --> 00:46:57,180 Thanks. 774 00:46:57,182 --> 00:46:59,248 You're welcome. 775 00:47:07,759 --> 00:47:09,192 [Cracking] 776 00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,697 Magic, huh? 777 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:16,933 Yeah. 778 00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,704 [Chirping] 779 00:47:22,874 --> 00:47:25,775 Hi. I'm Rebecca. 780 00:47:25,777 --> 00:47:28,911 You are gorgeous. 781 00:47:30,615 --> 00:47:32,381 I'm lucky. 782 00:47:35,854 --> 00:47:37,753 Okay. 783 00:47:38,156 --> 00:47:39,355 Isn't that nice? 784 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,758 I'll go put these in invisible water. 785 00:47:43,895 --> 00:47:45,561 Are you ready? 786 00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:47,697 Okay. 787 00:47:49,734 --> 00:47:51,050 [Door closing] 788 00:47:51,051 --> 00:47:52,367 Hey, what's invisible water? 789 00:47:52,370 --> 00:47:54,904 Michelle: I don't know. 790 00:48:03,648 --> 00:48:07,717 So, Michelle told me you've been having a tough time lately. 791 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,987 Yeah. Yeah. But I'd really rather not talk about it. 792 00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:15,925 I've been trying to forget about it for like a whole ten minutes. 793 00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,495 I hope I can help. 794 00:48:19,497 --> 00:48:22,832 Me, too. I crave distraction right now. 795 00:48:22,834 --> 00:48:24,200 Really? Huh. 796 00:48:24,202 --> 00:48:27,803 Why don't you look under the table? 797 00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,075 [Cooing] 798 00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:38,247 Um, there's a fucking bird under the table. 799 00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:40,950 Why don't you look again? 800 00:48:44,055 --> 00:48:47,423 I swear to God there was a bird there a second ago. 801 00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:50,192 It's magic. 802 00:48:50,194 --> 00:48:51,761 Oh. 803 00:48:55,366 --> 00:48:56,465 I'm really hungry. 804 00:48:56,467 --> 00:48:58,267 Can we maybe call the waiter over here 805 00:48:58,269 --> 00:49:01,237 so we can order some food? I'm gonna start gnawing on the table cloth. 806 00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,139 No problem. 807 00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:06,442 Oh. Do you have a headache? 808 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:11,547 Shush. I'm psychically calling our waiter. 809 00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:17,620 Are we ready to order? 810 00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:20,890 Es magico. 811 00:49:24,896 --> 00:49:26,796 Would you care to hear the specials? 812 00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:28,064 Sure. Wonderful. 813 00:49:28,066 --> 00:49:29,832 We have a fettucini that is out of this world. 814 00:49:29,834 --> 00:49:31,600 Bathed in white clam sauce. 815 00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:33,569 And we have a fantastic rabbit. 816 00:49:33,571 --> 00:49:35,237 Rabbit! 817 00:49:38,009 --> 00:49:40,176 I love rabbit. 818 00:49:40,178 --> 00:49:42,979 I'll have the rabbit, well done, please, 819 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:46,983 and a bottle of your best chardonnay. 820 00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:49,919 She'll have salad and the water. 821 00:49:49,921 --> 00:49:51,687 Certainly. Very good. 822 00:49:51,689 --> 00:49:55,691 I hope my rabbit doesn't eat your salad. 823 00:50:05,303 --> 00:50:06,502 Will you excuse me? 824 00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:09,538 I have to use the little girls' room. 825 00:50:17,849 --> 00:50:19,915 Oh, come on. 826 00:50:20,651 --> 00:50:23,085 Please. 827 00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:34,830 Where did he get that shirt? 828 00:50:34,832 --> 00:50:37,366 And the skank. 829 00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,703 She's pretty. 830 00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:43,839 Why do exs look better when they're exs? 831 00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:46,575 Why am I talking to myself in the mirror? 832 00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:47,576 I don't know. 833 00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:48,744 Then shut up. 834 00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:50,246 You shut up. 835 00:50:58,189 --> 00:51:00,489 Why did the blonde jump off the building? 836 00:51:00,491 --> 00:51:03,826 To see if a maxi-pad had wings. 837 00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:14,170 [Crying] 838 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:36,759 Thank you. 839 00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:39,495 You're welcome. 840 00:51:45,803 --> 00:51:47,136 Hi. 841 00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,805 Wow. 842 00:51:49,807 --> 00:51:53,509 You look even more beautiful. 843 00:51:55,746 --> 00:51:58,314 What? Huh? No, thank you. 844 00:51:58,316 --> 00:51:59,882 No, I didn't ask you anything. 845 00:51:59,884 --> 00:52:04,220 I just said that you look even more beautiful. 846 00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:08,958 Oh! You made this into a flower. That's so sweet. 847 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,294 No. That wasn't me. That was the waiter. 848 00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:15,164 Oh. 849 00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,135 So, beautiful, 850 00:52:19,137 --> 00:52:21,437 where would you like to go after this? 851 00:52:21,439 --> 00:52:23,305 Why don't we figure that out later? 852 00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:27,276 Right now I just want to sit in this chair and stay put. 853 00:52:27,278 --> 00:52:29,411 Or maybe not. 854 00:52:29,413 --> 00:52:32,248 You weigh 125 pounds, right? 855 00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:37,286 No. I'm 115. 856 00:52:37,288 --> 00:52:39,855 Fine. 125. 857 00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:44,277 Here we are. 858 00:52:44,278 --> 00:52:47,263 A beautiful salad for a delightful lady. 859 00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:50,499 And...The rabbit. 860 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:52,368 Rabbit! 861 00:52:54,705 --> 00:52:56,605 Can you send a blue fucker on the rocks 862 00:52:56,607 --> 00:52:58,507 to that guy in the corner? 863 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,176 Um-hmm. 864 00:53:03,214 --> 00:53:04,146 I'll go first. 865 00:53:04,148 --> 00:53:08,184 Oh. I didn't know we were taking turns. 866 00:53:08,186 --> 00:53:12,655 Let's see, your beauty is like a magic spell. 867 00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:15,724 So mysterious and tricky, 868 00:53:15,726 --> 00:53:18,961 it could make an angel lose his wings. 869 00:53:18,963 --> 00:53:19,995 Where's my wings? 870 00:53:19,997 --> 00:53:21,363 Where's my wings? 871 00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:25,034 But conquer any dragon. 872 00:53:26,671 --> 00:53:31,073 I hope you let me look inside because I'd really love to taste your treasure. 873 00:53:31,075 --> 00:53:35,377 Well, my treasure's under construction right now, so... 874 00:53:35,813 --> 00:53:37,546 Oh. 875 00:53:41,219 --> 00:53:43,485 Now, you. 876 00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:45,421 Okay. Um... 877 00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:48,057 Excuse me, sir. A blue fucker, 878 00:53:48,059 --> 00:53:52,194 compliments of the young lady over there. 879 00:53:52,196 --> 00:53:53,996 Who's that? 880 00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:58,234 Your love spell has worked so well 881 00:53:58,236 --> 00:54:00,402 that it has taken control over my body 882 00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:05,441 and making me do things I would never do in my life. 883 00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:12,715 Oh, shit! I'm sorry. 884 00:54:12,717 --> 00:54:16,986 No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I got it. 885 00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:20,689 No. No, don't. Don't. It's fine. 886 00:54:20,691 --> 00:54:22,424 No, no, no, no. It's fine. 887 00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:25,327 Don't worry about it. No, no, no- 888 00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:36,272 guess what? It ain't magic. 889 00:54:36,274 --> 00:54:38,274 [Screaming] 890 00:54:38,276 --> 00:54:41,277 And the wizard says to the little boy, 891 00:54:41,279 --> 00:54:44,113 "you can't do magic with your bare hands. 892 00:54:44,115 --> 00:54:46,882 You need a magical wand." 893 00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:49,218 Will you shut up? 894 00:54:49,220 --> 00:54:50,619 [Tires screech] 895 00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:52,421 You stupid- 896 00:54:52,423 --> 00:54:54,456 [tires screech] 897 00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:56,392 [Siren wails] 898 00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:59,495 Magic spell! 899 00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:18,981 What the hell is your problem? 900 00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:21,450 You realize you could've killed somebody? 901 00:55:21,452 --> 00:55:24,019 First of all, top o' the morning to you. 902 00:55:24,021 --> 00:55:25,321 I'm sorry, officer. 903 00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:28,857 There was actually a big bee in the car. 904 00:55:28,859 --> 00:55:32,528 And I'm allergic. 905 00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,063 A bee? 906 00:55:34,332 --> 00:55:36,598 Sir, I'm gonna ask to search your vehicle. 907 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,702 Would you please pop the trunk for me? 908 00:55:39,704 --> 00:55:41,770 Sure. 909 00:55:42,540 --> 00:55:43,472 Pop. 910 00:55:43,474 --> 00:55:45,174 There you go. 911 00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:46,508 So what do we got? 912 00:55:46,510 --> 00:55:49,078 A couple of smart-asses. 913 00:55:50,014 --> 00:55:51,547 Whew. Whew. 914 00:55:51,549 --> 00:55:54,450 We got ourselves a couple of bombers. 915 00:55:54,452 --> 00:55:55,651 Sure as shit do. 916 00:55:55,653 --> 00:55:59,455 What the hell is wrong with you? 917 00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:02,024 Don't worry. Follow my lead. 918 00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:03,359 Don't move. 919 00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:06,128 You wanna tell me about what you got in the trunk? 920 00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:08,130 Yeah. I'm a magician. 921 00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,532 I didn't know magicians carried c-4. 922 00:56:10,534 --> 00:56:12,067 C-4? What the hell is c-4? 923 00:56:12,069 --> 00:56:16,405 C-4 is actually a very powerful explosive. 924 00:56:16,407 --> 00:56:19,475 Explosive? Are you out of your mind? 925 00:56:19,477 --> 00:56:21,477 Wait. Of course you are. 926 00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:22,878 Listen, I can explain. 927 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:27,416 I'm doing a big underwater trick on the tonight show. 928 00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:30,386 And there's a big explosion at the end. 929 00:56:30,388 --> 00:56:31,420 That's all. 930 00:56:31,422 --> 00:56:33,222 That's it. All right, out of the car. 931 00:56:33,224 --> 00:56:34,423 What? 932 00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:35,657 Step out of the car. You're under arrest. 933 00:56:35,659 --> 00:56:37,826 Step out of the car, sir. Step out. 934 00:56:37,828 --> 00:56:40,095 Turn around, hands behind your back. 935 00:56:40,097 --> 00:56:41,864 You have the right to remain silent. 936 00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:45,334 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. 937 00:56:45,336 --> 00:56:46,201 You know the rest. 938 00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:48,670 This is a big misunderstanding. 939 00:56:48,672 --> 00:56:49,838 We're gonna be fine. 940 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,240 They're not gonna do nothing to us. 941 00:56:51,242 --> 00:56:55,310 I need you both to remove all of your garments, please. 942 00:56:57,782 --> 00:57:00,849 Can we both do this separately? 943 00:57:00,851 --> 00:57:03,285 I mean, I hardly know this guy. 944 00:57:03,287 --> 00:57:06,088 Yeah. Well, that's what they all say. 945 00:57:06,090 --> 00:57:07,856 She doesn't feel comfortable 946 00:57:07,858 --> 00:57:11,460 taking off her clothes in front of me. 947 00:57:18,369 --> 00:57:23,272 Either you do it or I do it for you. 948 00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:25,974 Okay. 949 00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:44,960 You're almost there. 950 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:50,332 Please. Please, I am begging you. Please. 951 00:57:50,334 --> 00:57:53,035 Let me do this someplace else. 952 00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:05,547 What is that, a mattress? 953 00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:10,519 All right, it's your turn, sir. 954 00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:12,554 Let's go. 955 00:58:33,978 --> 00:58:37,279 Well, I won't be giving her the cavity search. 956 00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:43,819 So it looks like it's your lucky day, bastard. 957 00:58:43,821 --> 00:58:46,889 Drop 'em. 958 00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:54,830 Well, well, well. 959 00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:58,867 What do we have here? 960 00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:08,877 I was saving this trick for later. 961 00:59:27,331 --> 00:59:28,997 Magic! 962 00:59:38,676 --> 00:59:41,476 Hi. Hi. 963 00:59:45,382 --> 00:59:46,949 Can I ask you something? 964 00:59:46,951 --> 00:59:48,584 I'm not going anywhere. 965 00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:54,423 What made you get into your profession? 966 00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:59,061 I walked in on my boyfriend fucking another girl. 967 00:59:59,063 --> 01:00:05,601 That's it! That's it! I knew it! 968 01:00:05,603 --> 01:00:08,804 I'm joining your posse! 969 01:00:09,907 --> 01:00:14,209 I just need to get away from all this pain. 970 01:00:14,211 --> 01:00:15,644 You know what I realized? 971 01:00:15,646 --> 01:00:18,780 Sometimes you just gotta face the music. 972 01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:19,948 And move on. 973 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,584 Blah blah blah blah. 974 01:00:22,586 --> 01:00:25,454 Yeah, right, lady. 975 01:00:36,066 --> 01:00:40,335 "The hardest love to learn is that which is dark. 976 01:00:40,337 --> 01:00:43,605 "The kind that causes the most pain. 977 01:00:43,607 --> 01:00:48,343 "It is up to the soul to look past that dirty love 978 01:00:48,345 --> 01:00:53,782 "and regain the beauty that illuminated so bright before. 979 01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:58,020 Pure love." 980 01:00:58,022 --> 01:00:59,421 Yeah, right. 981 01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:06,028 My white pony is probably in a glue factory by now. 982 01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,434 ¶ You're so unfair to me, man ¶ 983 01:01:12,436 --> 01:01:17,506 ¶ can't you see what you're doing to me ¶ 984 01:01:17,508 --> 01:01:25,580 ¶ I'll go along my way ¶ 985 01:01:29,553 --> 01:01:34,990 rajul. Listen, I had to sleep with a 70-year-old man 986 01:01:34,992 --> 01:01:36,725 for two years to get that ring. 987 01:01:36,727 --> 01:01:39,461 You should have kept your legs together. 988 01:01:39,463 --> 01:01:41,296 You are an asshole. 989 01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:42,497 You're a slut. 990 01:01:42,499 --> 01:01:45,901 I'm aware of that, but it's three karats. 991 01:01:49,740 --> 01:01:51,440 Hi. 992 01:01:53,744 --> 01:01:56,011 What have you got for me? 993 01:01:56,013 --> 01:01:58,413 A 1968 Martin v.18, 994 01:01:58,415 --> 01:02:01,683 a '59 gretsch duo jet, 995 01:02:01,685 --> 01:02:03,819 a '59 country Western, 996 01:02:03,821 --> 01:02:05,854 and a '66 kohner. 997 01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:09,925 The '66 kohner. Can I see it, please? 998 01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,828 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 999 01:02:20,037 --> 01:02:22,838 You like it? 1000 01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:32,781 I cannot believe my eyes. 1001 01:02:32,783 --> 01:02:37,719 This is the very guitar I played for my wife at our wedding. 1002 01:02:37,721 --> 01:02:41,890 Are you sure it was that very guitar? 1003 01:02:41,892 --> 01:02:43,759 Yes. You see this? 1004 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,961 "R" is rajul. Me. 1005 01:02:45,963 --> 01:02:47,929 "M" is for morona, my wife. 1006 01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:49,798 I always wondered what that meant. 1007 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:53,068 That's pretty amazing, huh? 1008 01:02:53,070 --> 01:02:55,203 No, no. It was meant to be. 1009 01:02:55,205 --> 01:02:58,640 I always knew it would come back to me. 1010 01:02:58,642 --> 01:03:00,976 How much do you want for it? 1011 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:02,244 Name your price. 1012 01:03:02,246 --> 01:03:05,947 The others you can keep. I have no need for them. 1013 01:03:07,084 --> 01:03:09,551 $3,000. 1014 01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:17,592 Done. 1015 01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:19,094 Okay. 1016 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:20,295 Wait! 1017 01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,197 Wait. 1018 01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,333 Here's another 500. 1019 01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:28,170 That you for taking such good care of it. 1020 01:03:28,172 --> 01:03:33,341 You are very, very welcome. Thank you. 1021 01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:35,143 All right. 1022 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:38,046 Have a good day. 1023 01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:51,459 What you doing? 1024 01:03:51,461 --> 01:03:53,528 I'm practicing. Gosh! 1025 01:03:53,530 --> 01:03:55,130 For what? 1026 01:03:55,132 --> 01:03:57,499 It's a new kind of mating call I read in some onion newspaper. 1027 01:03:57,501 --> 01:04:00,635 It subconsciously attracts men to women. 1028 01:04:00,637 --> 01:04:02,804 By making your nose squeak? 1029 01:04:02,806 --> 01:04:06,474 Yeah. Why do you think I had so many dates this week? 1030 01:04:06,476 --> 01:04:08,009 'Cause you a 'ho. 1031 01:04:08,011 --> 01:04:10,045 Hey, John's driving tonight, right? 1032 01:04:10,047 --> 01:04:11,279 No doubt. 1033 01:04:11,281 --> 01:04:13,448 Oh, my God! Look at this! 1034 01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:17,018 Look. Why does it have to go here and not my boobs? 1035 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:20,856 What you need to do is get your titties done like me. 1036 01:04:20,858 --> 01:04:23,658 I might be hungry but I look good. 1037 01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:25,861 I think I'm leaning on one of your boobs. 1038 01:04:25,863 --> 01:04:29,297 I can't wait to see this band play. 1039 01:04:29,299 --> 01:04:31,499 Yeah, well, just don't puke all over the mosh pit 1040 01:04:31,501 --> 01:04:32,567 and it should be pretty good. 1041 01:04:32,569 --> 01:04:35,971 Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that. 1042 01:04:35,973 --> 01:04:38,740 Some asshole slipped me a Mickey. 1043 01:04:38,742 --> 01:04:40,809 That was your boyfriend, Carrie. 1044 01:04:40,811 --> 01:04:42,077 Holy shit, you're right. 1045 01:04:42,079 --> 01:04:44,179 It's all coming back to me now. 1046 01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:46,348 He kept wanting me to go in his van. 1047 01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:49,017 You know, your really need to be more careful on who you pick up. 1048 01:04:49,019 --> 01:04:51,086 Why do you think I stopped dating grips? 1049 01:04:51,088 --> 01:04:54,589 I caught on pretty quick that they have absolutely no say in the casting process. 1050 01:04:54,591 --> 01:04:57,058 You know what? You've been going at this for six years now 1051 01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:59,027 and it probably wouldn't hurt to get into some acting classes. 1052 01:04:59,029 --> 01:05:03,498 No. I don't like how they want you to go deep inside yourself. 1053 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:04,833 And think. 1054 01:05:04,835 --> 01:05:07,936 It hurts my head, all that "find your inner child." 1055 01:05:07,938 --> 01:05:11,773 My inner child is a dark, muddy tunnel. 1056 01:05:11,775 --> 01:05:13,074 I don't want to step foot in it. 1057 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,277 I can tell you from experience, 1058 01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:16,711 once you face the music 1059 01:05:16,713 --> 01:05:18,280 you just might see that light at the end of the tunnel. 1060 01:05:18,282 --> 01:05:22,951 Honey, my light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. 1061 01:05:22,953 --> 01:05:24,352 [Horn honking] 1062 01:05:24,354 --> 01:05:25,787 Let's go, people. 1063 01:05:25,789 --> 01:05:30,692 Who is the best designated driver in the whole world? 1064 01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:32,360 John is! John is! John is! 1065 01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:35,130 I feel really buzzed. 1066 01:05:35,132 --> 01:05:38,066 That's 'cause I put Jack in your drink. 1067 01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:39,067 Thank you. 1068 01:05:39,069 --> 01:05:40,368 You're welcome. 1069 01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:47,242 [Indistinct chatter] 1070 01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:49,311 Hi. 1071 01:05:49,780 --> 01:05:52,547 Hey, man, are you gay? 1072 01:05:55,152 --> 01:05:55,951 No. 1073 01:05:55,953 --> 01:05:57,485 Oh, man, you gotta be gay. 1074 01:05:57,487 --> 01:05:59,154 'Cause that's the only way hot chicks like that 1075 01:05:59,156 --> 01:06:02,157 would be seen with a twinky like you. 1076 01:06:07,230 --> 01:06:08,997 Hey, pork chop. 1077 01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:10,065 Yeah? 1078 01:06:10,067 --> 01:06:11,967 You're just a bit jealous 1079 01:06:11,969 --> 01:06:14,569 because you pumped so many steroids into your body 1080 01:06:14,571 --> 01:06:17,605 that your dicks have completely shriveled up. 1081 01:06:17,607 --> 01:06:21,142 Now, him, on the other hand... 1082 01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:24,679 She's right. 1083 01:06:24,681 --> 01:06:27,782 He's always hard and makes me wet all day long. 1084 01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:30,018 [Moaning] 1085 01:06:30,020 --> 01:06:33,321 He be tearing that ass up, you know what I'm saying? 1086 01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:37,258 A little bit of donkey. 1087 01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:39,194 [Moaning] 1088 01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,132 You like that, don't you, little cracker boy? 1089 01:06:44,134 --> 01:06:46,434 Let's go, man, let's go. 1090 01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,874 Carrie: Oh, that was awesome! 1091 01:06:52,876 --> 01:06:56,311 I think I got one of his only chest hairs in my mouth. 1092 01:06:56,313 --> 01:07:00,148 Rebecca,I can stick up for myself sometimes, you know. 1093 01:07:00,150 --> 01:07:04,185 I know. We're just helping out a friend, that's all. 1094 01:07:05,055 --> 01:07:07,956 You know, you're kind of cute when you get turned on. 1095 01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:09,290 I was not turned on. 1096 01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:12,627 I beg to differ. 1097 01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,998 Well, what do you expect? 1098 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:22,070 I'm just saying I'm, you know, impressed. 1099 01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:26,107 See me in the shower. 1100 01:07:26,743 --> 01:07:29,644 Is that an invitation? 1101 01:07:32,716 --> 01:07:35,383 I'm drunk. 1102 01:07:37,254 --> 01:07:39,154 [Horn honking] 1103 01:07:39,156 --> 01:07:40,021 Come on! 1104 01:07:40,023 --> 01:07:42,824 Here's to the men that we love. 1105 01:07:42,826 --> 01:07:45,093 Here's to the men that love us. 1106 01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:48,830 But the men that we love will never love us 1107 01:07:48,832 --> 01:07:52,267 so fuck all the men. Here's to us. 1108 01:07:52,269 --> 01:07:55,270 Word. 1109 01:07:56,339 --> 01:07:59,874 Oh, God. I can't believe he's here. 1110 01:07:59,876 --> 01:08:00,909 Who? 1111 01:08:00,911 --> 01:08:02,944 Robert rodale. 1112 01:08:02,946 --> 01:08:05,580 That guy is probably the worst director 1113 01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,881 on the face of the planet. 1114 01:08:06,883 --> 01:08:08,783 I've seen every single one of his films. 1115 01:08:08,785 --> 01:08:12,787 Right now he's doing this $100 million piece of crap called "night vision." 1116 01:08:12,789 --> 01:08:15,957 It's about some guy who can see in the dark. 1117 01:08:15,959 --> 01:08:17,459 Who really cares? 1118 01:08:17,461 --> 01:08:19,127 When does it start shooting? 1119 01:08:19,129 --> 01:08:21,229 I don't know. 1120 01:08:21,231 --> 01:08:25,200 Okay, Carrie, here we go. 1121 01:08:25,202 --> 01:08:27,168 [Laughing] 1122 01:08:29,106 --> 01:08:31,473 Perfect. 1123 01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:39,147 That girl never ceases to amaze me. 1124 01:08:39,950 --> 01:08:41,583 I don't believe it. 1125 01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:45,086 You need to believe it 'cause I live with her. 1126 01:08:45,088 --> 01:08:49,157 No. No. Richard's here. 1127 01:08:50,293 --> 01:08:53,161 Why do people have to bump into their exs when we get past them? 1128 01:08:53,163 --> 01:08:56,397 I mean, can't they just die after we're done with them? 1129 01:08:56,399 --> 01:08:58,833 Rebecca, you want me to go ask him to leave? 1130 01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:02,003 No! No! No! 1131 01:09:02,005 --> 01:09:03,438 Thanks, though. 1132 01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,241 I'm just gonna deal with this the only way I know how. 1133 01:09:06,243 --> 01:09:11,312 Rebecca, maybe you should just slow down. 1134 01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:13,982 Poo poo on you! 1135 01:09:13,984 --> 01:09:16,017 I wanna dance. Come on. 1136 01:09:16,019 --> 01:09:17,318 John, is that you? 1137 01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,288 I knew we were totally meant to be together. 1138 01:09:20,290 --> 01:09:24,192 Come on, girl, let's go drop it like it's hot. Come on. 1139 01:09:24,194 --> 01:09:27,795 You want to drop it like it's hot? 1140 01:09:27,797 --> 01:09:29,030 No! Come here! 1141 01:09:29,032 --> 01:09:33,334 All of us believe that this is not up to you. 1142 01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:39,274 The fact of the matter is that it's up to me. 1143 01:09:39,276 --> 01:09:41,309 Audience: Hey! Hey! Hey! 1144 01:09:41,311 --> 01:09:47,215 Hey! Hey! Hey! 1145 01:09:47,217 --> 01:09:49,250 Let's go! 1146 01:09:57,961 --> 01:10:02,697 ¶ How can we fake this anymore ¶ 1147 01:10:02,999 --> 01:10:07,402 ¶ turn our backs away and choose to just ignore ¶ 1148 01:10:07,404 --> 01:10:12,073 ¶ some say it's ignorance it makes me feel some innocence ¶ 1149 01:10:12,075 --> 01:10:16,878 ¶ it takes away a part of me but I won't let go ¶ 1150 01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:21,649 ¶ tell me, why can't you see it's not the way ¶ 1151 01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:26,354 ¶ when we all fall down it will be too late ¶ 1152 01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:31,226 ¶ why is there no reason we can't change ¶ 1153 01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:36,264 ¶ once we all fall down who will take the blame ¶ 1154 01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:39,167 ¶ what will it take ¶ 1155 01:10:39,536 --> 01:10:46,274 ¶ if nothing could ever be this real ¶ 1156 01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:49,244 oh, my God. 1157 01:10:50,447 --> 01:10:51,279 Fuck you, Richard! 1158 01:10:51,281 --> 01:10:53,248 ¶ Some can't make the sacrifice ¶ 1159 01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:56,417 ¶ it's much more than just black and white ¶ 1160 01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:58,286 ¶ and I won't follow ¶ 1161 01:10:58,288 --> 01:11:02,757 ¶ tell me, why can't you see it's not the way ¶ 1162 01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:07,862 ¶ when we all fall down it will be too late ¶ 1163 01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:12,700 ¶ why is there no reason we can't change ¶ 1164 01:11:12,702 --> 01:11:16,404 ¶ once we all fall down who will take the blame ¶ 1165 01:11:16,406 --> 01:11:18,072 she's a crazy white bitch. 1166 01:11:18,074 --> 01:11:19,807 ¶ Well, at times like these ¶ 1167 01:11:19,809 --> 01:11:28,283 ¶ I've come to see how everything but time is running out ¶ 1168 01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:31,352 do you believe in destiny? 1169 01:11:31,655 --> 01:11:33,454 I used to. 1170 01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:37,792 Wow? Really? I was always thinking about becoming a scientologist. 1171 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,327 They're always famous, you know? 1172 01:11:39,329 --> 01:11:41,462 Is there like an audition, or something? 1173 01:11:41,464 --> 01:11:46,034 I could do a monologue from Ron l. Hubbard. 1174 01:11:46,569 --> 01:11:49,470 ¶ We don't see ¶ 1175 01:11:49,472 --> 01:11:54,442 ¶ tell me, why can't you see it's not the way ¶ 1176 01:11:54,444 --> 01:11:59,314 ¶ when we all fall down it will be too late ¶ 1177 01:11:59,316 --> 01:12:04,085 ¶ why is there no reason we can't change ¶ 1178 01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:10,391 ¶ once we all fall down who will take the blame ¶ 1179 01:12:30,980 --> 01:12:32,347 why? 1180 01:12:32,349 --> 01:12:36,017 You're right. She does look better from a distance. 1181 01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:38,353 I don't know why. 1182 01:12:38,355 --> 01:12:40,988 Why don't you just leave us alone? 1183 01:12:40,990 --> 01:12:42,657 No, I think you do know why. 1184 01:12:42,659 --> 01:12:44,359 Because the night before you did this, 1185 01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:47,962 we looked at each other and said that we would always be together. 1186 01:12:49,232 --> 01:12:50,465 And I believed you. 1187 01:12:50,467 --> 01:12:54,369 This was over a long time ago, Rebecca. 1188 01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,971 You just weren't giving me what it was that I needed. 1189 01:12:56,973 --> 01:12:58,573 And what was that? Gonorrhea? 1190 01:12:58,575 --> 01:13:02,377 Get over yourself, Rebecca, okay? 1191 01:13:02,379 --> 01:13:04,312 I don't give a shit about you. 1192 01:13:04,314 --> 01:13:05,980 I don't know if I ever did. 1193 01:13:05,982 --> 01:13:09,050 So why don't you just get the fuck away from us, huh? 1194 01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:26,501 See, I told you. 1195 01:13:26,503 --> 01:13:27,402 You and me, bro. 1196 01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:30,505 You and me! 1197 01:13:33,376 --> 01:13:36,644 Hi. That was so hot. 1198 01:13:39,349 --> 01:13:40,915 Rebecca- 1199 01:13:47,857 --> 01:13:49,490 fuck it. 1200 01:13:50,627 --> 01:13:52,093 Excuse me! 1201 01:13:58,401 --> 01:13:59,200 Yeah? 1202 01:13:59,202 --> 01:14:01,068 Do you want to have sex? 1203 01:14:01,070 --> 01:14:02,103 What? 1204 01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:04,605 I'm totally gonna have sex with you. 1205 01:14:07,043 --> 01:14:08,576 What do I gotta do? 1206 01:14:08,578 --> 01:14:10,645 Nothing. I mean, you can try a bunch of cheesy lines on me, 1207 01:14:10,647 --> 01:14:13,581 but why bother? What I'm telling you is no matter what you do 1208 01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:14,882 you're gonna get laid. 1209 01:14:14,884 --> 01:14:17,652 I don't get it. 1210 01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:19,787 But you're going to. 1211 01:14:22,325 --> 01:14:24,025 Let's go. 1212 01:14:30,099 --> 01:14:31,466 Can I buy you a drink? 1213 01:14:31,468 --> 01:14:35,770 I don't know. Can you? 1214 01:14:35,772 --> 01:14:38,606 I was thinking about getting my boobs done. 1215 01:14:38,608 --> 01:14:40,107 But then I decided not to. 1216 01:14:40,109 --> 01:14:41,843 You wouldn't be able to see my inner beauty. 1217 01:14:41,845 --> 01:14:45,646 I'd be just like every other manufactured Barbie doll in this town. 1218 01:14:45,648 --> 01:14:48,583 Just seeking constant attention from everyone. 1219 01:14:48,585 --> 01:14:50,518 Hey! 1220 01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:51,953 Are you listening to me? 1221 01:14:51,955 --> 01:14:54,822 I wouldn't let a plastic surgeon go near. 1222 01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:56,591 I wouldn't go that far. 1223 01:14:56,593 --> 01:14:58,793 I did have my nose done, and I did have collagen put in my lips. 1224 01:14:58,795 --> 01:15:03,331 And you can be damn sure when I turn 35 I'm getting a full face pull. 1225 01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:06,133 Hey, baby, where you been? 1226 01:15:06,135 --> 01:15:08,703 Right here, waiting for you. 1227 01:15:09,873 --> 01:15:11,305 Who is she? 1228 01:15:11,307 --> 01:15:14,709 Just some skank who wants in my movie. 1229 01:15:14,711 --> 01:15:17,612 Hey, asshole, I heard that. 1230 01:15:17,614 --> 01:15:18,646 Good. 1231 01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:21,449 You know, one day I'm gonna be big. 1232 01:15:21,451 --> 01:15:22,850 And you'll be sorry. 1233 01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:23,885 Sure, sweetheart. 1234 01:15:23,887 --> 01:15:25,186 From your lips to God's ears. 1235 01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:27,622 So why don't you go find another dick to suck, 1236 01:15:27,624 --> 01:15:30,625 'cause my movie's cast. 1237 01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:33,194 You know what? 1238 01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:34,862 It's guys like you that make girls think 1239 01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:37,164 they have to play your "tickle my dick" game 1240 01:15:37,166 --> 01:15:39,667 to get anywhere in this fucking town. 1241 01:15:39,669 --> 01:15:41,302 Well, not anymore. 1242 01:15:41,304 --> 01:15:43,704 In fact, why don't you take care of your own pencil dick 1243 01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:45,540 and give the new girls in this town a little bit of time 1244 01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:50,411 to show their stuff before you rape them of any chance they've got. 1245 01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:52,914 I'm having some people over for an after-hours. 1246 01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:54,081 You're welcome to join us. 1247 01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:58,185 What, is your mommy out of town? 1248 01:15:58,187 --> 01:16:00,621 That's funny. 1249 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:06,460 So... 1250 01:16:07,263 --> 01:16:08,329 You good in bed? 1251 01:16:08,331 --> 01:16:10,531 'Cause if you're gonna point and shoot, 1252 01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,766 then I ain't interested. 1253 01:16:11,768 --> 01:16:15,870 You see, a woman needs some warm-up. 1254 01:16:15,872 --> 01:16:17,672 You know, some pre-game. 1255 01:16:17,674 --> 01:16:19,073 You know what I'm saying? 1256 01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:21,542 You know you're white, right? 1257 01:16:21,544 --> 01:16:23,110 Don't you ever call me that. 1258 01:16:23,112 --> 01:16:28,015 You're kind of cute for a white boy. 1259 01:16:28,017 --> 01:16:30,785 Hey, Michelle, let's get out of here. 1260 01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:32,853 I was gonna go to this after party. 1261 01:16:32,855 --> 01:16:34,755 No, 'chelle, let's just go. 1262 01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,759 All right. I gotta go. 1263 01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:41,262 It's cool. See you later. 1264 01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,234 What the fuck was that? 1265 01:16:47,236 --> 01:16:49,103 You fucking pussy, you let her get away? 1266 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,974 I was on stage with her fucking girlfriend. I was gonna fuck her. 1267 01:16:52,976 --> 01:16:54,809 [Moaning] 1268 01:16:55,445 --> 01:16:58,713 How's that? Do you like what I'm doing, baby? 1269 01:16:58,715 --> 01:17:01,315 Yeah, just don't talk. 1270 01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,426 What the hell... 1271 01:17:12,428 --> 01:17:14,328 Ouch! 1272 01:17:14,764 --> 01:17:17,632 It's not bubble gum. You don't chew it. 1273 01:17:17,634 --> 01:17:20,301 Oh. Sorry. 1274 01:17:20,303 --> 01:17:22,770 I can do it better. 1275 01:17:22,772 --> 01:17:24,839 No. No. 1276 01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,741 No. 1277 01:17:26,743 --> 01:17:27,975 I can't do this. 1278 01:17:27,977 --> 01:17:29,510 This is so stupid. I'm not gonna sleep with you. 1279 01:17:29,512 --> 01:17:32,513 Come on. Just give me another chance. 1280 01:17:32,515 --> 01:17:34,649 It's not you. It's me. 1281 01:17:34,651 --> 01:17:36,784 Why the hell do chicks always say that? 1282 01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:41,822 I don't know. Hormones. Morals. 12 years of catholic school. 1283 01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:46,594 Will we see each other again? 1284 01:17:46,596 --> 01:17:48,696 I don't want to see anybody for a while. 1285 01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:51,198 At least till I know it's right. 1286 01:17:54,671 --> 01:17:56,037 Let me give you a tip. 1287 01:17:56,039 --> 01:18:00,574 Buy yourself a mango, cut it in half, and practice. 1288 01:18:03,046 --> 01:18:04,845 [Door closing] 1289 01:18:18,728 --> 01:18:20,161 Rebecca: What's wrong with girls? 1290 01:18:20,163 --> 01:18:22,697 Why do we feel the need to sleep with someone for revenge? 1291 01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:25,299 I don't know how we ever let guys make us feel this way. 1292 01:18:25,301 --> 01:18:27,735 We're supposed to be spiritually stronger then men. 1293 01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:29,570 Yet I feel like we are so much weaker. 1294 01:18:29,572 --> 01:18:34,909 I don't know. Maybe we do it because we need to feel wanted. 1295 01:18:36,012 --> 01:18:38,913 Maybe it's just to fill that deep, dark hole. 1296 01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:40,815 To make some of that pain go away. 1297 01:18:40,817 --> 01:18:42,917 A little company. 1298 01:18:42,919 --> 01:18:49,056 Or maybe it's okay to just take time and go through things alone. 1299 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:54,562 Why does love have to be so cruel? 1300 01:19:58,461 --> 01:20:00,728 Why did you do this, John? 1301 01:20:00,730 --> 01:20:02,930 I did it cause... 1302 01:20:02,932 --> 01:20:06,567 Because you're the most beautiful girl in the world, 1303 01:20:06,569 --> 01:20:07,768 and when you are happy, 1304 01:20:07,770 --> 01:20:09,837 your face lights up so much, 1305 01:20:09,839 --> 01:20:11,605 and I hated seeing you unhappy. 1306 01:20:11,607 --> 01:20:13,908 And I knew that if I got you this stuff, 1307 01:20:13,910 --> 01:20:19,346 your world would come together and it would make your life better, 1308 01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:24,218 and you deserve the best life in the world. 1309 01:20:40,203 --> 01:20:42,069 I can't. 1310 01:20:44,473 --> 01:20:47,842 I can't do this. No. 1311 01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:52,947 It just won't work. 1312 01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:58,185 Why? 1313 01:20:58,187 --> 01:20:59,854 I'm sorry. 1314 01:21:10,466 --> 01:21:12,066 [Door slams] 1315 01:21:22,645 --> 01:21:24,144 John! 1316 01:21:25,648 --> 01:21:27,314 John. 1317 01:22:20,970 --> 01:22:22,503 John! 1318 01:22:23,205 --> 01:22:24,939 John, please. 1319 01:22:24,941 --> 01:22:28,609 John, just in the car. I am begging you. 1320 01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:31,879 Listen, I never meant to hurt you. 1321 01:22:31,881 --> 01:22:34,215 I've just been through so much 1322 01:22:34,216 --> 01:22:36,550 that I can't handle being in a relationship right now. 1323 01:22:36,552 --> 01:22:39,153 Rebecca, do you know that I have been in love with you 1324 01:22:39,155 --> 01:22:40,988 since the very first moment I saw you? 1325 01:22:40,990 --> 01:22:44,058 I really thought that if I was patient, 1326 01:22:44,060 --> 01:22:45,559 things would just work itself out, 1327 01:22:45,561 --> 01:22:47,594 and I sat there and I watched 1328 01:22:47,596 --> 01:22:50,331 when it just seemed like you'd rather be with someone who treated you like shit 1329 01:22:50,333 --> 01:22:54,301 than someone who really fucking cared about you. 1330 01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:59,006 Here I am, Rebecca. Here I am. 1331 01:23:01,310 --> 01:23:05,112 You know, I'm putting my heart on the line here, 1332 01:23:05,114 --> 01:23:06,981 and you don't seem to care at all. 1333 01:23:06,983 --> 01:23:09,683 I do. 1334 01:23:11,354 --> 01:23:12,419 I do. 1335 01:23:12,421 --> 01:23:14,822 Why? 1336 01:23:17,126 --> 01:23:18,559 I... 1337 01:23:20,129 --> 01:23:22,162 Why? 1338 01:23:24,967 --> 01:23:26,300 Forget it. 1339 01:23:26,302 --> 01:23:30,704 You know, I think I'd really rather take the bus. 1340 01:23:34,176 --> 01:23:36,176 I'm scared. 1341 01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:40,948 Fuck. 1342 01:23:42,118 --> 01:23:43,917 Fuck! 1343 01:23:47,523 --> 01:23:50,157 ¶ Baby I was hoping ¶ 1344 01:23:50,159 --> 01:23:53,560 ¶ for a sign ¶ 1345 01:23:53,562 --> 01:23:56,363 ¶ something that I couldn't deny ¶ 1346 01:23:56,365 --> 01:24:02,736 ¶ and then I was running so fast ¶ 1347 01:24:03,239 --> 01:24:07,841 damn it! Shit! 1348 01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:09,843 ¶ Oh baby ¶ 1349 01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:11,545 ¶ oh baby ¶ 1350 01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:15,649 ¶ I finally took a good look around ¶ 1351 01:24:15,651 --> 01:24:17,885 pony. 1352 01:24:20,723 --> 01:24:22,356 White pony. 1353 01:24:22,358 --> 01:24:25,526 ¶ Just for a moment ¶ 1354 01:24:25,528 --> 01:24:29,830 you're my white pony! 1355 01:24:31,767 --> 01:24:33,500 Rebecca: I guess what we're supposed to do 1356 01:24:33,502 --> 01:24:37,071 is find someone whose soul illuminates as bright as yours, 1357 01:24:37,073 --> 01:24:40,074 to grow with in all the right ways. 1358 01:24:41,010 --> 01:24:42,409 John! 1359 01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:44,711 You're my white pony! Yeah! 1360 01:24:44,713 --> 01:24:47,147 Stop the bus! Hey! 1361 01:24:47,716 --> 01:24:49,083 Stop the bus! 1362 01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:50,384 Rebecca! 1363 01:24:50,386 --> 01:24:54,188 ¶ So now it's waking from my lonely dream ¶ 1364 01:24:54,190 --> 01:24:56,790 are you all right? 1365 01:24:57,426 --> 01:25:01,895 John, you're my white pony. 1366 01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:05,466 ¶ So beautiful the things I can see ¶ 1367 01:25:05,468 --> 01:25:10,804 ¶ do you believe do you believe ¶ 1368 01:25:10,806 --> 01:25:16,443 ¶ do you believe in holding love ¶ 1369 01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:19,046 ¶ do you believe do you believe ¶ 1370 01:25:19,048 --> 01:25:20,747 Rebecca: Once you let go of dirty love, 1371 01:25:20,749 --> 01:25:24,151 your heart can open up to the highest love of all. 1372 01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:26,286 Pure love. 1373 01:25:26,288 --> 01:25:29,223 The kind of love you wait your whole life for. 1374 01:25:29,225 --> 01:25:31,492 ¶ I've been looking for the beauty in life ¶ 1375 01:25:31,494 --> 01:25:36,296 ¶ and I found it deep inside of me ¶ 1376 01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:41,301 ¶ and then I opened wide ¶ 1377 01:25:41,303 --> 01:25:44,138 ¶ now I'm flying ¶ 1378 01:25:44,140 --> 01:25:49,743 ¶ nothing's gonna hold me down ¶ 1379 01:26:05,928 --> 01:26:10,731 they're just fucking globs of fat! 1380 01:26:14,136 --> 01:26:14,968 That's good. 1381 01:26:14,970 --> 01:26:17,337 That was beautiful. 1382 01:26:17,339 --> 01:26:19,873 Thanks. 1383 01:26:19,875 --> 01:26:22,609 All right. 1384 01:26:25,481 --> 01:26:28,215 I got to go. 1385 01:26:30,152 --> 01:26:33,787 "Take once a day to avoid outbreaks." 1386 01:26:33,789 --> 01:26:34,855 This is amazing. 1387 01:26:34,857 --> 01:26:39,393 I can't wait to tell my friends all about it. 1388 01:26:50,306 --> 01:26:53,407 Es magico. 1389 01:26:55,811 --> 01:27:00,214 Touch my bass! 1390 01:27:00,216 --> 01:27:03,984 Touch my fucking bass! 1391 01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:09,890 Yeah. 1392 01:27:46,629 --> 01:27:49,696 [¶...] 89573

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