All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S05E04.2001.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

Obviously, there's--
there's some chemistry going on.

So let's just be adult, address it,

and put it out there.

If you somehow got
the impression that I was...

interested, I apologize.

-I'm interested in you.
-John, I'm--

I so want to be loved by you,

but not in the way that you
are interested in loving me.

I lied. Obviously I am interested.

I just-- With Jenny, it's just--

I-I know. I know.

It's only when you surrender to your want,

that you'll be able to clarify
what it is you truly need.

You're telling me again to go to the boy?

Oh, yes.

-(elevator bell dings)
-(door opens)

-Mmm.
-(gasps) Ooh.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-My fault.

-Are you okay?
-Perfectly fine, thank you.

-Why are you talking like that?
-Talking like what?

-Clipped.
-Clipped?

Yes, clipped. You've been
walking around for days now

looking circumspect, talking clipped.

I don't know what you're talking about.
I am completely fine.

I'm late for a staff meeting, that's all.

My mistake then. Sorry for keeping you.

-Fine, then.
-Clipped.

(gasps) Oh!

-(gasps, murmurs) Sorry.
-No, no, no.

-I'm sorry. It's okay.
-I was late to a meeting.

No, that's all right. I was--Me too.

I just was, um--

You know, listen. This--
This isn't working.

This is silly. This--

This keeping our distance stuff,
it really isn't working.

It's sort of makin' it worse.

Let's just knock.

-It off.
-It would be best.

(whispering) Yeah. Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay. Wh-When I say go, you go.

Where?

Uh, to the-- the conference
room staff meeting.

I don't wanna... walk in together.

Makes sense.

-What are you waiting for?
-You didn't say go.

-(harsh whisper) Glenn!
-I'm on my way.

(gasps)

♪ I've been down down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

Okay, uh, first up, um,
a-anybody seen the Biscuit?

Yeah. Bygones. Uh, next up,

uh, Werner versus Millbury,
Goldman and Burns.

Mine. Um, Raymond's being sued
for sexual harassment.

Big shock.

But he's hired me to defend him,
which actually is a shock.

Wait. The firm that fired you
now wants you to defend them?

Don't ask me.

Why are you two not looking at each other?

-Sorry. What?
-(plate clatters loudly)

Move along. Next up. Ticktock.

Oh, that's--
Uh, well, Capelini versus Bugle.

Richard, could I see you for one second?

-What? Now?
-It's important.

(neck cracks)

Wh-What's up?

Oh-- (sighs) nothing.

You just cut off a staff meeting.

Oh.

Well, I was just thinking
about taking a few days off.

Is everything okay?

-Oh, yeah.
-Uh, is it, uh, John?

John. John-- John Cage?

Yeah, he's missing. He left me a note.

It said, "Not to worry, I'll be back."

He... just took off?

I--I don't know what to think.
It could be, uh, another spa.

It could be he's-- he's tired, or--

Mmm. Maybe it's just the obvious.

He loves somebody deeply
who couldn't love him back.

Mmm? What happened?

Nothing.

Uh, he--

Well, he--he just told me
that he loved me deeply

and I told him
that I couldn't love him back.

(exhales) Do you think that's why he left?

Yeah, you see, I-I don't know.

Is that--that why you want time off?

M-Me? Oh, no.

-Is it Glenn?
-Glenn?

(stammering) Gl-Glenn--Gl-Glenn Foy?

-(chuckles) That Glenn?
-Yeah. That one.

Wait. Who--What? Wh-Who--What, Gle--

What do you--Glenn Foy? What?

Yeah, well, it's something, uh,
in John's note, you know,

reading between the lines.

-I don't know. (chuckles)
-What did it say?

What? Oh. Uh--Oh.

Yeah. Uh, "Dear Richard. Not to worry.

I'll be back. Yours, John."

Uh, "P.S. Ally likes Glenn." Right?

Ah! It's mine.

I'm just tired, Richard, and I need
a few days to rest, okay?

Yeah. Okay.

(elevator bell dings)

One of us has to move.

One would think it would be the gentleman.

I'm standing nose-to-nose with a drop-dead
gorgeous woman who smells good.

A gentleman would be a fool to move.

(grunts)

Is it any wonder you've been sued?

None.

And what's the deal
with hiring me, Raymond?

Why wouldn't I hire you?
You're an excellent attorney.

-And?
-I need a tough, hard-nosed litigator.

And?

With a funny little freckle
face a jury'll fall for.

You want me for my freckles?

That, and you're a girl. I want a girl.

Well, this girl
is not about to just go and--

The case is all prepped, Jenny.

I can even do most of it pro se.

All you have to do is stand
up there all freckly

-and act, you know--
-Girlie.

Look, there's no better feather
for any lawyer

than to be hired
to defend another lawyer--

-especially one from a big firm.
-Mm-hmm.

Do you know why I became a lawyer?

Thank you.

-To, uh--To do good?
-Basically.

And can you tell me how I do that
by defending a blatant, skirt-chasing ape?

You know, for someone who
professes to be open-minded,

do you even care to hear my side
of the story,

or do you just want to rush to judgment?

-What's your side?
-I'm guilty.

Now, let's get started.

-How you doin'?
-(groans)

(shoe skids)

-Who is it?
-Guess.

-You're going home?
-Yeah. Bye.

-Ally--
-(clears throat)

Is this the adult way to handle this?

Oh, perhaps... not.

S-So, why?

Glenn, I find myself becoming
increasingly attracted to you,

which I will certainly admit to.

But the attraction is one
of the affair variety.

Which means at the finish line there
will be nothing but casualties.

So, whatever destructive urges I have,
I am choosing to face them alone.

And if that's unadult, well, then goo,
goo, goo, goo, good-bye.

(stumbles, grunts)

Raymond, if I'm gonna be
your lawyer, I will be your lawyer.

I'm not gonna be a puppet.

Too bad. I was hopin' to put my hand up--

Is this what you did with the plaintiff?

Come on, Jenny. It's strategy.

Strategy.

Well, as strategy, how can it
possibly make sense

for you to bring me in
on the eve of trial?

And didn't she sue your whole firm?

Yeah, we got that part dismissed.
It's just me now.

-Raymond.
-Jenny.

I can't win a case with freckles.

It's not just freckles. You're--
Y-You're girlie. You're--

You're gangly. Y-You're adorable.

And juries go for adorable, gangly girls.

There's-- There's research.

That kind of flattery just leaves me wet.

Please.

I need you.

-Okay.
-I owe you.

I'll be right back with the file.

-(beeps)
-(machinery whirs)

-(beeps)
-(machinery whirs)

Oh, he's really gone.

-(beeps)
-(screams)

-(screaming)
-(screaming, stammers)

Uh, uh, okay. Corretta, no. Corretta--

What in the hell is that?

-I can explain!
-What's going on?

He's jumping out of walls
while I'm on the toilet,

that's what's going on!

-You sick--
-I can explain.

You can explain? (yelps)

-You can explain?
-No. There's a room back there.

-Some kind of peeping!
-What is that?

That's John's home away
from home, and he's moved out!

Home away from home?

I'm sitting there,
trying to do my business--

Well, he had a little oasis.
He sought refuge there.

He left me a note that
said he was leaving.

I went in to see if he was still there.

I barely sat down, and out he leaps!

-What do you mean, he's leaving?
-John's gone.

I mean, d-don't ask me where, but--
(sighs)

he's gone.

The case itself
was a personal injury suit.

It was pretty routine.

Mr. Millbury represented the defendant.
I was representing the plaintiff.

Was Mr. Millbury's conduct
routine as well?

Hardly.

All during discovery, he repeatedly
made sexual advances at me.

When you say "sexual advances"--

He would ask me out.

But he wouldn't just say,
"Hey, let's go out for a drink,"

or, "Let's have dinner sometime."

No. It was always
something more... suggestive.

Can you be more specific?

Well, once, during a deposition,

he asked me to "tame his meat weasel."

PROSECUTOR: What about
when you got to trial?

Once, as we approached the bench,
his hand grazed my buttocks.

It was completely intentional.

It was a consistent, pervasive attempt
to reduce me in the eyes of the jury.

He would openly compliment
my clothing in front of the jury.

He once referred to me as "sexy"
right in open court.

He would-- (scoffs)
This is really disgusting.

-Please. Tell the court.
-Uh, he--

During discovery, he told me
that he had had a dream

that the two of us were doing karaoke
together... in the nude.

He said I had
"quite a talent with the mic."

It was completely phallic.

It was a transparent reference
to a graphic sexual act.

Then, all during the trial,
he would ask various witnesses,

"Could you please speak into the mic?"

And then he'd look at me with his leer.

Miss Werner, did the defendant
ever get physical with you?

Yes. Aside from
the courtroom butt-grazing,

once, in a settlement conference,
he kissed me.

-PROSECUTOR: He kissed you?
-Yes.

He just grabbed me... and kissed me.

-PROSECUTOR: What did you do?
-I pushed him off.

And as a result of all this behavior--

I became so self-conscious,

I couldn't perform as a lawyer.

I lost that case in large part, I'm sure,

due to my rattled, scattered demeanor.

It involved a long-standing client,
which I also lost.

I-I've lost other business
all because of his...

wanton, predatory,

"unwelcomed"... sexual conduct.

You asked her to "tame your meat weasel"?

Come on.

-Raymond.
-Jenny, it's a boys' club.

No, it isn't. You might want it to be,

but it is no longer a boys' club.

Hey, you on my side here or not?

Raymond, you tell a fellow attorney
she's got "a talent with the mic."

You wink, "How you doin'?"

at anything in a dress,
and your career is on the line,

and you hire an attorney
because she's "girlie"

with a freckled face.

-I just don't--
-I hired you because you're great.

-I'll deny ever having said it.
-Oh.

-Thanks.
-Half of trial law is button pushing.

Well, with women, you really
can't push that...

button.

-You really don't see that, do you?
-Look, Jenny.

When I was little, my mother
used to complain all the time

that men considered her a sexual object.

She hated it. And one day,
I came home early from school.

I found her crying.

Why?

Because men no longer
considered her a sexual object.

I may have rattled Sarah Werner,
but part of her liked it.

Raymond, if you say that
on the stand, we lose.

You have a problem.

Forget me talking to you as a lawyer.

Let me speak as if I was your friend.

You really have a problem.

Gettin' ready to leave, huh?

Yep.

Look. Ally, you don't have
to go home to avoid me.

We both agreed not to go
to that other place

because of my relationship
with Jenny and because of yours.

And I think we're both grown-up
enough to honor that agreement.

No, I--

I could use some... time off actually.

Well, okay.

Uh, not that I'm tryin'
to change your mind,

but why is it that you think
that if you and I--we--

Why would--why would it be
of the affair variety?

I'm just curious.

You're a boy. I have no doubt that--

that it would be, um, fun.

And maybe, even after
my last relationship, it would be--

it would be-- (chuckles)
really good for me, but--

But?

B-B-But th-there's Jenny.

And for me to risk hurting her, it would
have to be for a greater emotional good.

I mean, th-this would-- this would
only be a-- a frolic.

You know it, and I know it.

I have a very strict policy against fun.

Later, Glenn.

-You're a very pretty woman, Miss Werner.
-Thank you.

-Have you ever been told that before?
-I suppose.

I bet Mr. Millbury wasn't the first
opposing attorney to find you attractive.

No, but he was the first one to come

swinging down on a vine asking me
to "tune his skin flute."

-He actually said that.
-(sighs)

-And you've been a trial lawyer how long?
-WERNER: Six years.

And have you found, sometimes cases turn
on something other than the merits?

All the time.

In fact, you think
your personal injury case

against Mr. Millbury was affected

by his... ape-like behavior?

-Yes, I do.
-You felt reduced in the eyes of the jury?

-Correct.
-And jurors--

who knows what they'll respond to, right?

In fact, I've sometimes flirted slightly
with male jurors.

Just a little smile here or there,
nothing big, but--

-You ever do that?
-(chuckles)

We all try to charm jurors.
I won't deny that.

When you get dressed
in the morning of a trial day,

do you choose your clothes carefully?

-Yes.
-You want to look attractive,

maybe even a little sexy for the men,
but not too much to put off the women.

-Am I right?
-Part of a lawyer's case is presentation.

-I-I-I won't deny that, either.
-And part of a lawyer's strategy

is to rile his opponent, to make him or
her seem antagonistic, disrupt her rhythm.

-True?
-There is a line, Ms. Shaw.

And you proclaim to know
where this line is?

No. But when one lawyer tells another

that he "polished the pink helmet"
with me in mind,

that--that-- that crosses it,
wherever it is.

I asked one question too many.

You did fine.

You never ask a question
you don't know the answer to.

It's the cardinal rule of
cross-examination. I screwed up.

Jenny.

-You did fine.
-Raymond,

now it all comes down to your testimony.

Do you think you could possibly
come off "Homo sapien"?

I can try.

And what about the kiss?
You need to explain that to me.

-Oh, we were just fighting.
-So you kissed her?

Well, we were arguing,
and she started getting dismissive.

You know when you're tryin'
to get through to somebody,

and you grab 'em and hold 'em, you know,

to kinda try and force eye contact

so they'll see your point, to connect?

I don't really grab people, Raymond.

Well, our faces were close, like this.

And then she got this look. It almost--

I don't know.
I swear, it's like she wanted to kiss me.

A man can read that look,
especially the ape-like men.

She didn't pull away.
She just stared back at me.

So I pulled her closer.

We were just like this.
See how I'm holding you?

You could easily pull away if you wanted.
Well, this is how I had her.

And in that second, I actually was...

attracted to her.

I pulled her even tighter.

Our lips were three inches apart,
just like this.

So, I kissed her. Huh.

It was a one-time thing,
and, uh, she didn't complain.

-That explain it?
-Huh?

Oh.

-Yeah.
-(Ikettes singing) ♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ I got a whole lotta kisses ♪

♪ Oh, baby you've been missin' ♪

♪ I got a love everlastin' ♪

♪ And it's yours for the askin' ♪

-(no audible dialogue)
-♪ If you come back home ♪

♪ I'll be right there I'll have your pipe
and slippers ♪

♪ Right by your chair ♪ (continues)

-They let anybody sing up there?
-I don't know.

-They let you sing.
-So you testify tomorrow?

The truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth,
so help me God. Wag-tail.

-And Jenny's doin' okay?
-Great.

-What's up with you two these days?
-Why?

-I almost kissed her.
-(gags) Excuse me?

Not really. It was part
of a demonstration.

I was showing her how
I came to kiss the plaintiff.

But as it was, she's cute up close, Jenny.
She's got these big eyes--

What are you saying, Raymond?

You want to go out with Jenny?
-No. Maybe.

But I would never, I mean, without--
I mean, unless--

Forget it. Golden Rule.

You think I'd let you do one
of your hit-and-run numbers--

-I don't do that.
-Don't be foolin' around with Jenny.

Okay. You still have feelings for her?

Of course I have feelings for her.

-I love her.
-I'm not gonna go there.

-Is she interested?
-Look, I don't know.

I-I don't want you hurting her.
She's not a wag-tail.

-Fine.
-Fine.

♪ Oh, baby if you bring your love
back to me, yeah ♪

-♪♪ (continues)
-Do you think Ally's too old for me?

-You're gonna go out with Ally?
-No. No, no. I-- She said was too old,

so I'm just wonderin',
if ever I met somebody like Ally

that I would want to date,
would she be too old?

Why are you lying to me?
If you like her, just tell me.

I-I can't get her out of my mind. I--

When I'm with her, I want to tell her
everything there is to know about me.

-Have you?
-No. I'm just sayin'-- Forget it.

No. Look, look, look.

I don't really know her,
but she seems like a real woman.

Well, isn't that good?

Eh, it's just that, uh,
we're not real men.

-What are we, then?

We're the guys girls
go out with for three months,

have the time of their lives,

until they grow up and meet
the man they'll marry.

Ally? She's already grown up.

-Oh.
-♪♪ (continues)

I made up my mind.
I'm getting up there to sing.

-Is she interested in dating you?
-Ally?

-Jenny.
-Oh. I don't know, Glenn.

We did
that double-date thing once--

-I just--I-- I don't want her hurt.
-Next topic!

Is she interested?

-She's not a wag-tail.

-Fine.
-Fine.

♪ Your pipe and slippers
right by your chair ♪

♪ Oh, baby if you bring it back, yeah ♪♪

-(knocks)
-Off to court?

Yeah, Raymond's testimony.

-Say a prayer.
-Ah.

-Wh-What do you think about Raymond?
-I'm sorry?

Well, I know we always--
We joke about him,

but... seems like a pretty good guy,
isn't he?

-What's going on, Glenn?
-Nothin'. I was just--

You ever think...
maybe you should date him?

-I-I know that seems crazy.
-(chuckles)

-Glenn, if you want to go out
with Ally, you can.

(scoffs)

-Ally?
-You don't think I see?

The whole office sees.

I-I don't know--I--

You were gonna say you don't know
what I'm talking about,

but you couldn't finish the sentence

because the one thing you and I
had--and will always have-- is honesty.

We don't lie to each other.
Now, since I'm due in court,

I don't have time for you
to stumble your way along,

so I'm just gonna tell you
why you're in here.

Guilt is stopping you from pursuing Ally.

And a lot of that guilt
would go away

if I were
to start dating somebody.

I get it. But for you to come in here

and try to fob me off on your best friend

so that you can shag Ally
with a clean conscience--

It's despicable, Glenn.
And it's not who you are.

So I can only assume that you're thinking
with the one part of yourself

that I no longer associate with.

Now, I'm late for court.

Mmm. It was Raymond's idea.

What?

He was basically asking
my permission to date you.

I didn't give it to him.

So much for your little theory.

(muttering quietly) Oh, I--

Don't you think this is
a little disrespectful, to just move in?

Nelle, if you leave a place
abandoned, rats move in.

Clearly.

I got an e-mail. It said,
"feel free to inhabit" his hole.

-So, you've heard from him?
-Yeah. It said he was safe.

He's probably down at some Club Med
with his pec-and-glute suit.

Richard, aren't you a little concerned
that he just takes off?

-Flat screen?
-Oh, yeah. It's, uh, far wall. Yeah.

You know, of course I'm worried.
But what else can I really do, but, uh--

Inhabit his hole.

When I was 15 years old,
I'd written an essay

that was
extremely personal to me.

I read it in front of the class,
which I wasn't crazy about doing,

but if you want to be a good writer,
you have to be willing to reveal yourself.

And when I finished what I thought

had been this
incredibly emotional session,

a girl in the second row
came up to me after class,

and she said, "I just want you to know,

as I sat there watching you,

I couldn't take my eyes off
of your incredible ass."

Could you tell us how this is relevant,
Raymond?

Well, I remember how devalued I felt
in that moment.

And I realized, people can become

what they are in the eyes of others.

-And ever since, I've been--
-An ass?

Aware... of the power one has

to undermine the esteem
and demeanor of others.

So I started employing it
as a strategy in trial.

Every lawyer has some trick.

Most usually like to make the other guy
feel unprepared or--or overwhelmed.

But with women, I've found that they have
an innate predisposition

to thinking, "I'm not really smart.
I am how I look."

With women who dress to accentuate their
physical beauty, this is especially so.

All I was doing with Miss Werner...

was trying to exploit a weakness.

So, this was just a strategy.

-That's correct.
-And if it's strategy, anything goes.

Miss Beckenworth,
in your closing arguments,

you'll no doubt be calling me
a chauvinistic, insensitive oaf.

I won't sue you for it.

Except your chauvinism
goes to the merits here, Mr. Millbury:

making sexual advances on opposing counsel

for the admitted purpose of harassing her.

Older attorneys attack my youth in court.

Blue bloods refer to me as a "swell guy"--

implying to the jury
that I'm a "good old boy," meaning "dumb."

Everybody looks for chinks in the armor.

What chink were you exploiting
with my client?

That she's beautiful.

There's a prejudice in this country: Where
there's beauty, don't look for brains.

I didn't invent it. I don't really buy
into it either.

The surprising thing is,
is that your client does.

That's why she's suing me.

He was really good.

I mean, he didn't even waive
his right to be a pig,

and he was still very persuasive.

ALLY: That's great.

And he was in total control.
That's the thing.

-The jury was just drawn right in.
-That's terrific.

-And he made sense, Ally. He really did.
-Yes, you--you said that.

And... I'm attracted to him.

-Wha--Ooh. Ah.
-(teakettle whistling, stops)

-What was that last one?
-I can't believe it,

but while he was testifying--
I don't know--he just seemed--

-He seemed what?
-Cute.

-Now just tell me I haven't lost my mind.
-No.

No, you haven't lost your mind.

And before, when he had his hands
on my shoulders,

I just wanted him to kiss me.

-Wow.
-You think I'm weird.

Well, no. No, if you--
if you want to date Raymond,

there's nothing wrong with that.

Well, why would anyone go out with him?

Well, we-we-we say that we want
to have an evolved, sensitive companion

to share our feelings with,
and-and-and we do.

But underneath that, we still
want a guy

who can beat up
the other guys if need be.

Are we...

an inferior gender?

Ugh. No. No. Actually, no.

Th-The problem is, is that
women are so far superior

on the relationship level that--

that it's tough to find
a real autonomy with--

Well, it's-- it's-- (sighs)

Jenny,

they like football.

Now as a whole, they're a dumb sex.

-There--
-(breadstick snaps)

I said it.

Well, are you telling me
there's not one nice,

funny,
smart, decent-looking guy?

-No, of course there is.
-Well, where is he?

-Detroit.
-Sorry?

I was kidding. Ha-ha.

'Cause, you know--Because,
you know,

it would take a sense
of humor to live in Detroit.

See the thing--the thing about Raymond is,

is that even though
we don't want to admit it,

we are all drawn a little to protectors.

And as far as bodyguards go,
he's--he's cute.

And he's a lawyer, so he's not
that stupid.

He's just a little misguided.
But--

-Is he kind?
-Actually, yes.

All right. So he's smart, cute and kind.

Yeah, we--we-- we could all do worse.

♪ Are you ready
for this thing called love ♪

♪ Don't come from me and you
It comes from up above ♪

♪ I ain't no porcupine
Take off your kid gloves ♪ (continues)

Don't you think we should try
to contact him?

Obviously,
he's going through a crisis.

Look, he's-- he's always been eccentric,
Nelle, mysterious.

Yes, but he's never left before.
Maybe he's having a real breakdown.

-That ridiculous bodysuit he was wearing?
-(coughs) Bitch.

Sorry.

-Did you say something?
-I coughed.

I got something-- (coughs) stuck up--
in my throat.

I think we should go
to his house and check. Nelle's right.

-Or go to the police.
-Oh, yeah, the police. Yeah.

Show them the note
where he vows to be back.

They'll call in the F.B.I.

You're just happy to take over
his hole.

This is just material
gain for you, isn't it, Richard?

I'll go to his house tomorrow
and check, okay?

Thank you.

I think I should sing.

You look good when you sing up there.
I think I should do it.

-Raymond, you're tone-deaf.
-Whatever.

-How'd your testimony go?
-Okay. I think the jury saw the real me.

-And you're not offering to settle?
-(giggles)

That's funny. No, it's all up to, uh,
Jenny now. She closes.

She's a good closer, right?

-I didn't mean it like that.
-Right.

I didn't. Look--Glenn, will you
just forget it?

I told you
I'm not gonna go there.

-Hey, I'm okay if you do.
-Right. That's obvious.

I'm serious. As long as you're not lookin'
for a notch on your belt.

Please. My belt is all talk. You know that
better than anybody.

If you treat her well, I'm okay with it.

-I don't think you are.
-Well, fine then.

You think what you want,
but, you know, I-I--

I want her to go out with a good guy.
And you're a great guy.

I mean, would it--would it
be awkward for me at first?

Of course. Absolutely.

But, you know, in the long run,

I mean, you know, I--
Let me ask you a question.

Suppose it did work out.
You two fall in love.

What's that gonna do to us?

-I'm asking you.
-No, I'm askin' you.

I'm her ex. Could you be friends
with your lover's ex?

Well, so you're still saying no.
That's just another way of saying it.

No. I'm sayin' that I could be okay
with it ultimately.

I'm asking, could you?

-Let's just change the subject, okay?
-All right. Fine.

So, how's Ally?

-How would I know?
-Guess you wouldn't.

-Fine.
-Fine.

♪ Are you ready
for this thing called love ♪♪

We live in a society--

"Might makes right." "Winner takes all."

"Show me a good loser,
I'll show you a loser."

It's all about winning.

And if you do so, then you're successful.
Never mind your behavior.

In business? "Ruthless," "cutthroat"--
that's high praise.

Similarly, in law,
it's, "Get your verdict," "your number."

And if it means harassing your opponent,
sexually degrading her--

committing a sexual battery even--
so what?

If it's good strategy, that's just
the way it goes.

We need the 12 of you

to reset those boundaries a little.

Your daughters might be lawyers one day,
your sons.

Maybe for their sake,
if not Sarah Werner's,

let's dial the code of conduct

back to include simple manners, decency.

There is no law against
our world being dignified.

Trial law-- it's like going to battle.

Forget lawyers treating
their learned brothers

and sisters with respect.

It doesn't work that way anymore.
It's a war.

And you know what?
I can take it.

And I have a lot of women lawyer friends
who litigate.

And guess what? They
can take it too.

We can dish it out, and we push buttons,
just as we get ours pushed.

And we win sometimes, and other times not.

But it's the good ones--

ones like Miss Beckenworth--

They don't go running to their rooms

crying sexual harassment
every time they lose.

We stand up. We pick ourselves up.
We fight harder.

I'll tell you this. As a woman,

I am totally offended
by Mr. Millbury's conduct.

It was unacceptable. But I'm outraged
by the plaintiff's suggestion

that because we're women,

we can't handle ourselves
against the likes of him.

I don't need special protection.

I don't want it.

You're a woman, for God sakes. Be a man.

Well, it's just that, um,

I find myself getting--
(sighs) y-you know--

-"Horny-ous."
-Weaker!

And i-it's not that I think
that I should be with him.

No.

It's just that I am
a fairly attractive woman,

and I have fertile eggs, and-- and for me
to be alone, it just seems a little--

-Against God?
-(quietly) Mmm. Mmm.

Allyson.

-Would you dance with me?
-Uh, s-sorry?

Sometimes a woman misses
the trappings of a relationship.

Dance with me, Allyson.

Trust your therapist now.

-(clicks)
-(man on speaker, slow) ♪ Oh, ho-ho, ho ♪

Just close your eyes

-and pretend you're with a man you love.
-♪ Oh, ho-ho, ho ♪

-Let yourself go, Allyson.
-♪ Oh, ho-ho, ho ♪

-(sighs)
-♪♪ (flute: mock asian melody)

-You feel better?
-Yeah, actually, I--I do. (chuckles)

It's the trappings sometimes.

(pop, fast) ♪ Everybody was
kung fu fighting ♪

-What the--
-Keep up, Allyson.

-I am not gonna keep up.
-Trust your therapist now.

-Gimme the remote.
-Allyson.

♪ In fact it was
a little bit frightening ♪

(both yelling)

-♪ But they fought with expert timing ♪♪
-(martial arts vocalizing)

-♪♪ (stops)
-(scoffs) That is ridiculous!

Maybe we should go home.
Who knows how long they could deliberate.

They indicated they were close.

-You seem nervous.
-Me?

No. I'm fine. I just--
I just get restless.

Mmm.

Raymond, if you lose,
she's suing you personally.

You could lose your house,
worse, your wardrobe.

I know this, Jenny.

-Are you trying to make me nervous?
-No, I--

I guess I'm just curious why you've
trusted all of this to... freckles.

You really don't have a clue, do you?

You're a pretty amazing attorney.

How many lawyers do you think could take

on the phone giants
like you did and scare them?

And your closing just now--
it--it was fantastic.

Thank you.

You don't have a clue about anything.

You mean, like you might be interested
in dating me?

Women's intuition,

plus Glenn told me.

I said to Glenn, I thought you were cute.
I never--

If there's one golden rule in life,
you don't mark on your best friend's turf.

Oh, "mark on his turf"--
there's a romantic turn of phrase.

I actually think Glenn
would like for you to date me.

That would give him a free guilt pass
to date Ally,

and that's what he really wants.

-What do you want?
-Me?

-Yeah.
-Well, what do you want?

-I'd like to go out with you.
-You're not concerned?

Of course I am-- mostly about
me and Glenn.

He's my best friend.

One reason for that,
we've always taken each other at our word.

His word here
is that he'd be okay with it.

-And if he's not?
-I'd probably stop seeing you.

-Well, there you go.
-What "there you go"?

I'm open to finding out.

You haven't answered
the previous question.

What about you? What do you want?

Well, I'm open to dating.

I'm single now.
I'm not seeing Glenn anymore.

The field is... open.

Am I in the field?

-Well, the truth is--
-Jury's back.

(door closes)

-We should get in there.
-Okay.

-Suddenly I'm nervous.
-Me too.

Madam Foreperson, has the jury reached
a verdict?

-We have, Your Honor.
-What say you?

In the matter of Werner versus Millbury,

we, the jury, find in favor
of the plaintiff

and order the defendant to pay damages

in the amount of 75 cents.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, thank you for your service.

We're adjourned.

-(gavel raps)
-(both murmur)

-Thank you.
-(inhales) Mmm!

Now they're not saying
you were right, Raymond,

only that she didn't get hurt.

I understand. Thank you again.

Thanks for trusting me.

Well,

celebrate?

-Absolutely.
-♪♪ (rock)

"Some of y'all never been
down south too much.

I'm gonna tell you a little bit
about this, so you'll understand

what it is I'm talkin' about."

I'm sorry?

-♪ Down in Louisiana ♪
-(crowd hooting, cheering)

♪ Where the alligators grow so mean ♪

♪ There lived a girl that
I swear to the world ♪

♪ Made the alligators look
tame Polk Salad Annie ♪

I begged him not to do this.

-♪♪ (continues)
-Well, he's not... terrible.

No, he isn't. You said he couldn't
hit a note.

-He's hitting one of mine.
-(motorcycle engine revving)

♪ A mean, vicious woman ♪

He doesn't qualify as a missing person.

What if he really didn't write
the note or the e-mail?

It had to be him.
Who else knew of his hole?

Melanie?

Wha--Oh, you think, uh, she kidnapped him.

Well, she loved him.

Nelle, John is going through something.
H-He'll be back.

-(sighs)
-♪ And carry it home in a tote sack ♪

-♪ Polk Salad Annie ♪
-(crowd continues hooting, cheering)

♪ The gators got your granny
Chomp, chomp, chomp ♪

♪ Everybody said it was a shame ♪

(motor cycle engines revving)

♪ 'Cause her mama was
a-workin' on a chain gang ♪

♪ Straight razor-totin' woman
Polk Salad Annie ♪

(engines continue revving)

♪ Oh, Polk Salad Annie ♪♪

♪♪ (fades)

(clears throat) It's, um--
It's Friday night.

Mmm. Meaning?

Well, I... have a life. Also plans.

It's nearly 9:00. Uh, could we re--
resume this on Monday?

Uh, sure. I mean, yeah, okay.

You know, you once spoke
of the getting ready for a date--

the fixing your hair, the--
the putting on a-- a pretty dress.

In fact, you--you said it was often
your favorite part of a Friday night.

Well, th-the man part is usually the--
the letdown.

Well, go home... and do that.

Put on a sexy dress.

Do your hair. Splash some perfume around.

Enjoy the anticipation of it.

Christmas is nothing
compared with Christmas Eve.

-Isn't that pathetic?
-Of course not.

You're embracing the spirit
of having a relationship

in lieu of... actually having one.

-Again, isn't that pathetic?
-Allyson.

Give me your hand.

-I have plans.
-(scoffs)

If you're not happy, pretend that you are.

It's the trappings.

Mmm, this is me up here.

I know where you live, Jenny.
I've been there before.

Oh, right.

(both chuckle)

I'm not inviting you in,
so you can forget that.

I wouldn't go in if you did.

Right. "You can't lift your leg
on your best friend's girl."

-Is that the saying?
-(chuckling) No. No. It isn't.

Listen.

Thanks. You saved my life today.

Well, let's not exaggerate. But again,

thank you for trusting me.

-So--
-VONDA (slow): ♪ I think we're alone now ♪

-So. (chuckles)
-♪ The beating of our hearts ♪

♪ Is the only sound ♪

-Good night.
-♪♪ (kick drum, soft)

Right. Good night.

♪♪ (soft drum continues)

♪ Tryin' to get away into the night ♪

♪ Then you put your arms around me ♪

♪ As we tumble to the ground and you say ♪

♪♪ (soft drum)

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. (chuckles)

Okay. Good night, Raymond.

-Good night.
-♪ Runnin' just as fast as we can ♪

♪ Holdin' onto one another's hand ♪

♪ Tryin' to get away into the night ♪

♪ Then you put your arms around me ♪

♪ As we tumble to the ground and you say ♪

♪♪ (soft drum)

♪ I think we're alone now ♪

♪ The beating of our hearts
is the only sound ♪

♪ I think we're alone now ♪

♪ There doesn't seem to be anyone around ♪

♪ I think we're alone now ♪

♪ The beating of our hearts ♪

♪ Is the only sound ♪♪

WOMAN: You stinker!