All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S03E02.1999.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

[ Vonda ]
♪ I'm driving in my car ♪

♪ Ooh, I turn on the radio ♪

♪ I'm pulling you close ♪

♪ Mm-hmm
You just say no ♪♪

[ Richard ]
Ally? Ally!

What?

Am I disturbing you?

Uh, no. No.
Go ahead.

Thank you. Yeah.
Next up.

Uh, Butters, et al,
versus Gaylor.

- Billy, yours?
- Trial starts today.

Our client is being sued
for sexual harassment.

- What did he do? Breathe?
- It's a she. Alice Gaylor.

She's being sued by the other women
at Corbin Technology

basically for being too sexy.

-What?
-Exactly. Provocative dress, whatever.

The other women claim she's contributing
to a sexually charged working environment.

- They're suing her and the company.
- That is ridiculous.

- I-I'd like to meet this woman.
- How can the judge not throw that out?

[ Billy ] We're talking about sexual
harassment law, Ally.

Let's not expect it
to make sense.

We just have to assume that if any woman
anywhere, at any time,

feels the slightest twinge
of hypersensitivity,

and if she can tie it to anything remotely
sexual, she has a cause of action.

The courts will protect her,
which is good,

because as a matter of law,
women need protection.

They are "less than."
That's the law.

And as lawyers we must all
come to respect that.

Are we feeling
any anger, Billy?

No. Ally asked me
a question.

I did my best to answer it.

I'm responding
to a question.

Excuse me for
asking another one.

But don't we have a conflict of interest

representing both the woman and
her employer?

It's already taken care of.
I've asked Renee to be cocounsel.

She'll take Ms. Gaylor.
I'll take Corbin Technology.

All right then.
Off we go. Adjourned.

Ling, what is going on?

Have you ever
kissed a woman?

Forget it. You're not gonna
trick me again.

I'm not trying
to trick you.

Have you... ever?

No. I haven't.

At least not for real.

Ling, what?

Well, I know you see shrinks and you seem
to be the office maven on dreams--

you and the funny
little man.

If a woman
were to dream...

about kissing
another woman,

what would you
make of that?

Um, I-- I don't know.

I wouldn't necessarily
make anything of it.

I-I think it's probably
a little normal.

Uh, a-a little.

Have you ever
dreamt about it?

Look, Ling, would-would I be terribly rude

if I said that I didn't want to talk
about this?

Is it because
we're not friends?

Well, yes.

I like parts of you, Ling.

I-I think that you
are, uh, nice,

but-- but I wouldn't exactly say
that we're friends, would you?

I guess not.

Maybe we should
work on that.

-Well, o-okay.
-How 'bout we go to dinner?

-Just the two of us.
-Uh-- Sure.

Great!
I'll set it up.

[ Door Closes ]

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

I'm telling you, Renee.

I know when a person hits on me, and gay
women, for whatever reason, love me.

- Gay women love you?
- They're attracted to me.

Yes, they are.

-Ling isn't gay.
-Well, maybe she's bisexual.

Who knows?
[ Sighs ]

I think she asked me
out on a date.

And you said yes.

Well-Well-Well, I-I couldn't
be sure that it was a date.

She guised it in
"Let's be friends."

But that's how gay women do it.
They send mixed signals.

Say what you want about men,
but at least they're obvious.

Ally,

if it goes there, all you have to say is,
"Not for me."

What's with
all the panic?

What?

As a general rule--
Ugh.

- Where's Whipper?
- She's on vacation between jobs.

"As a general rule"
what?

As a general rule,

the idea of kissing another
woman grosses me out.

Ick.

But sometimes, the idea
of kissing certain women...

doesn't gross me out.

It's-It's not like I'm
attracted to them, but I--

Well, the idea
of kissing them isn't--

I don't know-- repulsive.

And Ling--

Maybe it's her perfect,
perfect face. I don't know.

But the idea
of kissing her--

It doesn't gross me out.

-Is that what's bothering you?
-It shouldn't?

Ally, relax.
You're a perfectly normal dyke.

-Renee.
-Kidding.

It's not like
I'm attracted to her.

- Ally, I get it.
- Fine. If you get it, explain it to me.

Why am I so nervous? And why am I so
worried about what I'm gonna wear?

You're worried about
what will happen...

if opportunity
and curiosity collide.

[ Scoffs ] Oh, but why am I worried?
I'm not gonna kiss her.

You might have the slightest,
itty-bitty little urge.

That's what's
bothering you.

Now, I'm off to court.
How do I look?

Like you're going off
to sing karaoke.

Great. Let's go.

The men in the office
just call her "the yummy one."

-You have any idea why?
-Of course I do.

She dresses the way she does.
She-- She flaunts sex.

She engages them
in sexually laced banter.

Can you give us an example?

Oh, she, um,
makes remarks to some of the men.

Little things.
It's a lot of innuendo.

She teases them, and it adds up to
an atmosphere of sex in the office.

-Did you complain to your employer?
-Yeah.

He says it's her personality.
That was his answer.

"It's her personality."

Innuendo. Hmm.
Was she guilty of any graphic sex talk?

-No, but--
-Thank you.

Was any of this innuendo directed at
you or the other women?

Well, not exactly, but... she does ask
the single women in the office...

if they'd like to be fixed up,
that she knows some fun guys.

And she is constantly
doing that.

Did any of the other women take up Ms.
Gaylor's offer to be introduced to men?

I believe a few did.

[ Renee ] What's wrong with the way
she dresses?

Well, it's always to accentuate
her sexual attributes.

I'm not a prude.
I don't mind cleavage.

It just puts out a sexual signal.
Let's be honest.

Well, am I putting out
a sexual signal right now?

Well, a little.

So, if I were to work
in your office,

dressed the way that I am now,
I'd be guilty of sexual harassment.

If you were to dress
that way every day,

if you were constantly dropping little
remarks about your libido...

and how much you like sex,

that would contribute to
a sexually charged workplace.

What if I said
something like,

"Girlfriend,

"it's been so long
since I've had it.

I don't even remember
how it goes."

Well, I doubt anybody
would believe you.

Ling, my little Rolaid,
what's wrong?

-Nothing.
-Hmm. Excellent.

Richard, have you ever thought
about kissing another man?

Ling, that's not
even funny.

-It disgusts you?
-Well, of course it disgusts me.

Don't get me wrong. There's absolutely
nothing wrong with being homosexual.

But it would be totally, uh,
disgusting to kiss one.

Oh, great. I can't-- I can't even look at
the foam now.

-I think there's something wrong with me.
-What?

I had a dream of...
two women kissing.

Two women kissing? Nothing wrong with
that. I have that dream all the time.

Why is it okay for two women to kiss,
but not two men? Seriously?

Yes.

In strict
anthropological terms,

mankind is all about the propagation of
the species.

Without procreation, uh,
mankind would become extinct.

To facilitate procreation,
the male species must become aroused.

Watching two women take their tongues to
each other arouses the male species,

which fosters
the urge to procreate...

and accordingly ensures the survival of
the human race.

To the contrary, watching two butt pirates
go at it could, uh,

make a man go limp for a week.

The species
becomes threatened.

I consider myself
pretty homophobic,

but what you just said,
that is disgusting.

Well, fine. Blame me
for anthropology.

Richard, I had...
an erotic gay dream.

I'm scared.
I-I don't want to end up with a woman.

Well, if you did, onion,
you know I'd be there for you,

watching,
touching myself.

This is serious!
I don't wanna turn gay.

Ling, people don't turn gay.
You either are or you're not.

-I've heard of people discovering midlife.
-Confused people.

Sexually ambiguous people.
Uh, I've made love to you.

I've never
found you ambiguous.

-Ambidextrous at times, but--
-[ Clattering ]

This is serious! If I become a lesbian,
it will be your loss.

It would be my--

-Ling.
-Never mind "Ling." I think I'm going gay.

-Excuse me?
-I had a dream about kissing... a woman.

So?

-"So?"
-Oh, come on, Ling.

Do you think you're the first
heterosexual woman

to fantasize about
kissing another woman?

I've had stranger fantasies
than that, trust me.

Such as?

That's my business.

You can tell me.

I just told you
a vulnerable little secret.

Friendship is about
sharing, Nelle.

Oh, yes, Ling.
I-I keep forgetting you live to share.

Just tell me!
What is your dirtiest little fantasy?

-You really want to know?
-Yes!

You to me.

Okay.

Sometimes...

I fantasize about...
getting spanked.

-What?
-Well, I would never do it.

And trust me, I have no desire to be
either victimized or dominated by men.

But spanked?

Well, I-I read this book
long ago called Spank the Maid,

and don't ask me why,

but I found it
slightly titillating.

There's something a little
Victorian about it.

But, Nelle,
that is so not you.

It's-- It's submissive.
It's--

Actually, in spanking circles,
the bottom controls.

-You say when, you say stop.
-Is there a newsletter?

Ling, don't worry.
I'm not into "S" and "M."

And trust me, I-I would never think of
actually satisfying the curiosity.

But I can't deny it.

It's a fantasy...

to have a man spank me!

Thwap, thwap, thwap!

Right on my white little bottom,
till it turns pink.

You admit the men
talk about her.

She's a sexy woman,
Mr. Thomas.

Men talk about
sexy women.

But the other women, they claim that the
men get a little sex on the brain...

every time she's around.

How can I prevent that? Put out a memo,
"No sex on the brain"?

Maybe you could tell her
not to wear those clothes.

In which case,
she could sue me.

I mean, if I fire a woman for being too
sexy or looking too sexy,

I get sued by her.

If I allow her to walk around, uh,
oozing sex appeal,

I get sued by them.

There is sex in the air.
That's all I can say.

The men shoot looks to each other when
she passes by, and she plays it.

-She loves it.
-How so?

Oh, she leans over desks,
offering a little peek of cleavage.

She's very touchy.

She enjoys being
the center of attention,

and the men respond
like little sophomoric imps.

Respond exactly how?
I'm trying to get a picture.

The best way I can describe it
is sex is in the air.

If you go into a single's bar,
you get that feeling.

The horny antennae are up,
out and on the alert.

That's the way
it feels in this office.

There's an energy of hedonism,
and she generates it.

Quite on purpose,
I might add.

When you dress in the morning, do you try
to make yourself look your best?

-Yes.
-But she can't?

I know the problem.
Where do you draw the line?

Perfume? Tight sweater?
Where's the line?

All I can say,
she crossed it.

We say that men can't contribute to
a sexually charged workplace?

Well, women shouldn't
be able to either.

Okay, Alice,
you'll testify tomorrow.

It's important that you don't come off as
any kind of sexual predator.

-I won't.
-How are we doing?

I think all right.
Your testimony will be important.

Renee, can I steal you
for a second?

Okay. We'll meet here
tomorrow, 9:30.

I think you should tell her to tone down
the dress a little.

And I think you could tone it down
a little yourself.

Excuse me?
This is a courtroom.

I realize that.

Don't you think that
if she dressed differently,

it would look like
some sort of admission...

that the way she usually dresses is
inappropriate?

It is inappropriate. The issue is whether
it constitutes sexual harassment.

And like any case, it comes down to
who the jury sympathizes with more...

and, dressed like that,
it won't be her.

-Is that right?
-And it applies to lawyers too.

Don't get me wrong.
You're beautiful.

This look is great... on cable,
but in a courtroom?

-Will you think about it?
-I won't stop thinking about it.

-Trust me.
-Thanks.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

-Ally.
-Ling. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

I made reservations
at Jaspers. 8:00.

Oh. Great.
Excellent. Great.

-Are you still game?
-Oh, hey. Wouldn't kiss it.

Miss it.
I wouldn't miss it.

-Ling. Pringle.
-Uh, can't talk now, Richard.

-What was that about?
-How should I know? Why would you ask me?

I--
[ Sniffs ]

Richard, I need to talk to you.
Bit of an emergency.

Spanked?

-Yes.
-Did she tell you that?

She didn't tell me.
I heard her tell Ling.

-Does Ling like to be spanked?
-I don't think so. She sounded shocked.

You know, as it is, Richard,
I'm not a sexually adventurous person.

Deriving pleasure
from pain--

It makes me
very uncomfortable.

-Uh, what? She never broached it with you?
-No!

Well, look,
don't panic here.

You know,
first things first.

I think you need to sit down with Nelle
and, you know, spank her.

-Richard!
-Just take her right over your knee--

Stop it! It isn't funny. It's violence,
and I'm not a sexual adventurist.

-I just--
-John, wait, wait. Hold on.

Don't you think you're being
a little selfish here?

What you should be expressing is
concern for Nelle.

Does she need help? Uh,
should she get counseling?

Maybe her talking to Ling was some sort of
a cry for help.

-There's a lot of questions here.
-Yeah.

Let's look at her
as a victim for a second.

And, you know, um, spank her,
'cause victims love that.

-Never mind.
-John, wait.

You think
you got it bad.

Ling has been having
gay erotic dreams.

-I beg your pardon?
-Yes.

-What do you think that means?
-I don't know.

But one thing
seems certain.

You and I, in bed--

We're not pleasing
our women.

[ Man ]
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Come on and rock me ♪

♪ Ooh, girl ♪

So, that was
an excellent dinner.

Scrumptious.
Really good.

How was your, um, meat?

-Oh, it was great.
-Excellent.

I love it when you go out to eat and
the food is excellent.

-I mean, don't you?
-Yes!

Look.

I guess it's obvious.
The dream I had about kissing a woman?

-The woman was you.
-[ Clears Throat ]

-Um, hmm.
-I've been just as scared as you.

I-- I always get afraid
that dreams mean something,

and... I tend to
confront them.

That's why I wanted
to have dinner.

Sitting here,
looking at you,

letting my mind
wander a little,

thinking,
what if you and I--

[ Gasping ]

I've reconfirmed with myself that what
I really want out of a relationship...

at the end of the day...

is a penis.

Oh, me too.

So, can we just drop this
little curiosity dance

and just resume
disliking each other?

-Oh, that would be so great.
-I am so relieved.

Oh, me too. God.

♪ Now, I've got myself
together ♪♪

Uh-oh.
3:00. Hockey team.

They look like they're
daring each other to move in.

I hate that, when a guy comes up to hit on
you while his friends watch.

Ally.

-Do you want to have a little fun?
-Sounds mean.

It is.

You know what arouses and frustrates them
at the same time?

-What?
-Two beautiful women... into each other.

-Shall we dance?
-[ Roy Orbison ] ♪ Pretty woman ♪

-Let's.
-♪ Won't you pardon me ♪

♪ Pretty woman
I couldn't help but see ♪

♪ Pretty woman ♪

♪ That you look lovely
as can be ♪

♪ Are you lonely
just like me ♪

[ Purring ]

♪ Pretty woman
Stop a while ♪

♪ Pretty woman
Talk a while ♪

♪ Pretty woman
Give your smile ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ 'Cause I need you ♪

♪ I'll treat you right ♪

♪ Come to me, baby ♪

♪ Be mine tonight ♪

♪ Pretty woman ♪♪

I thought the hostess
was gonna ask us to leave.

I thought
she was gonna join us.

-Oh, is this you?
-Yeah.

I had a-- a great time.

Whoever would have guessed
I could have fun with you?

Yeah.

-I'm sorry I made you so nervous at first.
-That's okay.

Uh, h-hey, you, um-- you want to come in,
get some coffee?

We could, um, make
some prank phone calls.

No, thanks.
It's late.

Richard's probably
waiting to do my knee.

Ah. Okay.

-So, uh, I'll see you tomorrow.
-Yeah.

Yeah, tomorrow.

God, John,
she's not alone.

As many as 30% of adult women
fantasize about getting spanked.

But it's violence.

It's also Freudian.
He said pain is arousing.

Oh, everything aroused Freud.
He was a little pervert.

-But 30%.
-[ Beeping ]

Oh, listen to this.

"Many women brush their hair in bed,
leave the brush on the nightstand...

in the secret hope their partner will take
it to them."

What? Nelle sometimes
brushes her hair in bed.

My God, Richard.
I've gotta go talk to her.

Oh, no. I-I wouldn't.
Not if you want to get her going.

-Oh, now what?
-The surprise factor adds to the pleasure.

Just when I thought I had my sexual esteem
back. This is a disaster.

-[ Slapping Sounds ]
-[ Woman Gasping ]

-Ew.
-Ew.

Oh! Oh! Oh!
[ Gasps ]

I don't proposition the men.
I don't date anybody from work.

In fact,
I have a rule against it.

But you do dress to turn the guys
on a little?

I don't deny that.
I like to feel attractive.

And truth be told, your rule
about dating men at work--

the word is you kind
of use that a little.

You make guys think, ah, but for that
rule, they might have a chance with you.

- Yes, I do that.
- Can you tell us why?

It's power.
Sex for me is power.

-How so?
-I have something men want.

And even though they know they're not
gonna get it, they love the flirt.

They love being in my company,
and it's an equalizer.

- "An equalizer"?
- I'm not the smartest one in the room.

But I get a lot of help
from my coworkers, mostly male.

They're happy to cover my shifts or pitch
in on an assignment if I'm behind.

An attractive woman gets cut
a lot of slack sometimes.

- That's a fact.
- And you exploit that a little.

Yes.

But I've never exploited it
to victimize anybody.

[ Door Closes ]

You try your case,
Billy, and I'll try mine.

The problem is,
you're trying my case as well, Renee.

Our clients are linked,
and what you're doing...

hurts my client's chances
of getting a fair trial.

What am I doing?

Playing the stupid sex slut power card
like it's something to champion.

You should be ashamed
of yourself.

Your strategy has all the integrity of
a lap dance.

What?

You think what you're doing
shows some respect for women?

I respect any woman's right
to her individuality.

Oh, give me a break.
You know what your problem is, Billy?

You don't like women
being sexy.

It threatens
your own masculinity.

Threatens my--
Oh, I'd love to hear this.

Don't talk to me about respect for women.
You don't even like strong women.

-That's why you ran from Ally.
-What?

You knew you wouldn't be able to tell
her what to do and how to dress.

That is so--

So you find yourself
a little Barbie doll wife.

Hey! Don't you ever
attack my wife!

I'll be happy to stick up for her.
How's this?

She's too good for you,
you male chauvinist King Kong pig!

-Oh, I'm a male chauvinist pig?
-The worst kind.

You disguise yourself as being pro-women.
Well, you're not.

You had a problem with Georgia dressing
sexy last year. I know about that.

You left Ally because you knew she would
not stay home and cook and clean.

My problem right now is with cocounsel,
walking around the courtroom...

with a plunging neckline,
throwing her breasts out...

like they're two condos
she's trying to sublet!

Male chauvinist pig!
Get out!

[ Pig Oinking ]

[ Door Slams ]

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Oh, hi, sweetie.
I haven't seen you all day.

Oh? Well, I-- I've been
out in plain sight.

Cute.

I miss you.

How about coming home with me tonight,
let me cook for you?

Fine.

Maybe I'll whip up something slightly
more exotic.

Think you can
be adventurous?

-[ High Voice ] Sure.
-I'll get my coat.

[ Clears Throat ]

Hi, John.

What's the matter?

Elaine, do you remember
what you did for me last week?

-Could you, uh--
-Sure.

[ Moans ]

You hot, hot Biscuit.

Oh, I could fry an egg
on you.

Eggs...

and your hot,
hot sausage...

on a hot,
hot Biscuit.

I look at you
and I see brunch.

- You hot, hot Biscuit.
- [ Clears Throat ]

I'm his fluffer.

Uh--
[ Muttering ]

[ Vonda ]
♪ Oh, late at night ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ I'm taking you home ♪

♪ I say I want to stay ♪

♪ You say you want
to be alone ♪♪

-Ally!
-[ Gasps ] Ling!

Hey, hi, hi!
How's it going?

- You're all flustered again.
- Me?

Uh, no, no. I'm-- I was just, you know,
hanging out.

[ Sighs ]

You know, relaxing.
[ Gasps ]

-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.

I'm fine. Oh.

[ Grunts ]

Ugh.
[ Sighs ]

-Why are you so nervous?
-Oy.

All right.

I had a great time
last night.

But, but--

As we were saying good night,
you wanted to kiss me?

Well, I'm--
Well, um-- Well, yeah.

But no. I mean,
it's not because--

-You're gay.
-Right. I'm not gay.

You know, I'm not even ashamed to admit
that I don't want to be gay.

-But--
-You're curious.

Well, it wasn't
just that, Ling.

For whatever reason,
last night...

I had an urge to kiss you.

Do you now?

[ Lock Slides Shut ]

Could you step out
from behind that desk?

I-- Well, I-I was, um,
headed this way anyway.

I've been thinking
about it too.

You have?

-All day.
-[ Whimpers, Clears Throat ]

Maybe it's because we had such a good
time, and--

Nelle thinks the euphoria of a new
friendship can send the brain--

You talked to Nelle
about it?

-Yes.
-What did she say?

She had some theory
about--

There's something arousing about curiosity
and non-mainstream whatever--

I don't really remember.

She thought it would all go away if
I did kiss you.

Maybe we should,

ju-just to see
what it's like.

What do you think
it would be like?

Soft.

-Soft.
-♪ Girl, you can't hide your desire ♪

♪ And when we kiss ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Fire ♪

♪ Hey, hey, fire ♪

That didn't suck.

Not at all.

-One more?
-Little one.

♪ Fire ♪

♪ Kisses are like fire ♪♪

-I still cannot believe it!
-Oh, neither can I.

-I kissed a woman.
-And?

She can kiss.
I mean, you know Ling.

There's nothing
she's not good at.

How did you leave it?

We just left it.

We kissed a second time,
and she just walked out of the room.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

That's it?
You didn't talk?

I don't think either one of us
had any idea what to say.

-Who told?
-Excuse me?

Why are you here?

To see Renee. I think we need to
coordinate our closing arguments.

What's there to coordinate? You condemn
sexual harassment laws in general.

Then I hang my two condos
out for rent.

Renee.

I've got my closing
for my client.

You just worry
about yours.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Okay.
What have I missed?

So, you just left
after dinner?

I couldn't take it.

She started brushing her hair-- brush
the size of a tennis racket.

-No.
-[ Sprays ]

-And you?
-Well, she just rolled over.

My little knee pit thing
isn't working.

-She's built up a small callus.
-Mmm.

What's happened to us, John?
We're not our usual sex machines.

Well, I tell you what.

I'm not gonna wallow.

If I can't be the old John Cage,
then I'll be the new one.

-Meaning?
-I changed once. I can change again.

Well, may the wild winds
carry me onward.

[ Passing Gas ]

Good start.

I'm a new man... again.

Hmm.

Why should women have to work
in that kind of climate?

With men sniggling
like schoolboys.

Why should they have to go
to an office every day...

to watch her strut around like some
centerfold layout queen...

for the collective
Neanderthal jolly?

Is it so unreasonable
to say to this woman,

"Dress a little
more modestly"?

Is that such a huge imposition
on individuality?

There is no harassment
going on here.

This is an enormously attractive woman.
Men are attracted to her.

I'm sure they do look, smile,

shoot sideways glances,
maybe even fantasize about her.

Are you gonna punish
the employer for that?

What have you heard what
anybody has actually done?

Come on.

You put men and women in the same room,

sexual chemistry will always be
in the air,

especially when you have
a woman who looks like that.

When I was a little girl,
I went to a musical.

And there were all these
can-can girls jumping around.

They looked
a little silly to me.

But then this one...

beautiful woman came out...

and started singing
to this powerful man.

And on the stage,
she suddenly controlled him.

And I didn't think
she was a victim.

And I didn't see her
as a bimbo.

And I didn't think
she was the antifeminist.

No.

I saw a woman...

whose gift
was sex appeal.

Charismatic,

even contagious...

sex appeal.

And she wasn't ashamed
of having it.

Now, these women over here...

would have you believe that Alice Gaylor
should be ashamed of it,

just like some people tell me
that I should be ashamed of it.

Yes, I've been getting
that message all my life.

"If you use
your sexuality,

you set the feminist movement backwards."

That's ridiculous.

-[ Gasps ]
-So?

So?

We need to talk about it.

Well, what do you
have to say?

Me? Well, okay.

-It gave me another dream.
-Oh.

-About me and Richard.
-Oh.

I told him after you I could never go
back to kissing him.

Oh.

But it was just a dream.

The truth is, even though
you're a great kisser--

almost as good as me--

-and I admit to enjoying it--
-It wasn't--

-The same as--
-Yeah.

There was that one missing ingredient
you need for the tingle.

-And we both know what that is, don't we?
-[ Both ] Penis.

-I like men.
-So do I.

But I'm glad we did it.

So am I.

Promise me you'll
never tell anyone?

Ee-- I already told Renee.

But I will promise you
this, Ling.

I will never kiss
another woman.

Deal.

Mr. Foreman,
has the jury reached its verdict?

- We have, Your Honor.
- What say you?

In the matter of Butters, et al,
versus Corbin Technologies,

on the count
of sexual harassment,

we find in favor
of the defendant.

Count two, Butters, et al,
versus Alice Gaylor,

on the count
of sexual harassment,

we find in favor
of the defendant.

[ Judge ] Thank you very much, jury,
for your service. Dismissed.

[ Gavel Raps ]

I'm so happy to be going
to bed early tonight.

You have no idea.

[ Sighs ] I was on my feet all day.

I had to go
to the printers--

-What's wrong?
-Nothing.

I flex my pupils sometimes
to strengthen my eyesight.

Oh, John!

You can't improve your eyesight with
pupil flexes.

What, did your smile therapist tell
you that one?

That was nice.

-I have a little surprise for you.
-Oh, you do? What?

Oh, it's just, uh,
a little gift.

It's on the floor
beside the bed.

-Oh!
-No, it's on my side.

Oh, well,
can you hand it to me?

No.

You have to see it
on the floor.

What are you up to?

Just look, darling.

[ Screaming ]

-What, are you crazy?
-[ Muttering ]

You hurt me!
What the hell were you thinking?

I should call the police! I should have
you arrested, for God's sakes!

- [ Blubbering ]
- Just get out!

- I want you to leave!
- [ Blubbering ]

You sicko!

♪ This magic moment ♪

♪ So different and so new ♪

♪ Was like any other ♪
Where are you now?

Oh. Well, I-I'm sure
she'll get over it, John.

Look, can we talk later?
It's a little hard to hear.

Yeah. No, I'll call you back. Yeah.

-What happened?
-The Biscuit, uh, spanked Nelle.

-She threw him out.
-He spanked her?

-Why would he--
-It's a long story.

Ling, can we dance?

I-I've been kind of missing you. You know?

♪ Softer than a summer night ♪

-♪ Everything I want I have ♪
-Ally, look! He's got your girl.

Funny.

-♪ This magic moment ♪
-Seen Billy?

Uh, no, no. I think
he's still upstairs.

Hey, sit. Join us.

Oh, that's okay.
I-I'll sit in the Barbie section.

Oh, boy.

-Private practice is tough.
-You'll patch it up.

Hey, Renee! First civil trial and victory.

Here's to your milestone.

And to yours.

Funny again.

♪ Softer than a summer night ♪

-♪ Everything I want I have ♪
-So, are we feeling hetero these days?

[ Chuckling ]
Pretty much.

Good. 'Cause I've been on the Internet.
I got some new tricks.

Hmm. Can't wait.

♪ While your lips
are close to mine ♪

♪ Will last forever ♪

♪ Forever
till the end of time ♪♪

[ Woman ]
You stinker!