All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S01E07.1997.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

Do we ever meet interesting single men?

That's because we're lawyers
and all we meet are single male attorneys,

and that is a pathetic breed.

I apologize.

-Let's proceed.
-With the trial.

Yes. Today?

-Yes.
-'Cause you're insane?

Yes.

I can't go into it. It's just-- Oh!

What-- What's the word? Alone!

What was it this time?

She knocked somebody unconscious
and stole some diaphragm jelly.

It was on sale.

You're not a sexually spontaneous person.

This has an "intended." Who is it?

He's the guy who just walks in
from another world.

The guy who-- who's looking for my door.

That went well. We just have
closing arguments and then it's a lock.

There he is again!

He's here all the time, Ally. He's a D.A.

Well, yes, which brings me back to
why can't you introduce me?

I could introduce you,
but you want me to introduce you...

in a way that he doesn't know
I'm introducing you.

That makes it harder.

I could go to one of
your office parties, maybe.

Office parties?
We don't have office parties.

Don't move. Don't turn around.

Don't look. He's coming.

Here? To the elevator?

Block the door a little
so it doesn't close.

How? Quick!

-That'll do.
-Are you okay?

Um, yeah, I'm fine.

-You sure you're okay?
-Yeah.

Just caught me in the eyes-- Shoulder!

-Hey, Renee.
-Hi, Jason.

This is Ally McBeal. Jason Roberts.

-Hi.
-Hi. I actually know who you are.

-You do?
-No, it's a good thing.

I saw you in court last week and I asked.

Ally and I are roommates.

-Really?
-Oh, yeah. Girlfriends.

-Unmarried.
-Aren't we all?

-Hard to meet people in this town.
-Tell me about it.

And this is suddenly my floor.

So, girlfriend, um, I'll see you later.

Unless you make plans or something.

-Going all the way to the bottom?
-Uh, yeah.

The bottom. That's where I'm going.

-Ally?
-Yeah?

You feel like getting dinner sometime?

Thank God.

-Sure.
-Tonight?

Oh, um, tonight is-- That would be great.

I'll call.

Great.

I'll, uh-- I'll call you this afternoon.

Excellent.

I've been down this road

Walkin' the line that's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life

That I just can't hide

Oh, I believe I am ready

For what love has to bring Yeah, yeah

I got myself together

Now I'm ready to sing

I've been searching my soul tonight

I know there's so much more to life

Now I know I can shine a light

To find my way back home

Oh

Baby, yeah

Oh, yeah

It's a big, big mistake.

If you go home and change before,

that tells him that he has the edge
and he'll diddle with you.

But this doesn't really flatter me.

He asked you out wearing that.
This is fine.

Do you get all pitted
by the end of the day?

Not to my knowledge. Do I, Elaine?

Ally!

I have asked you not to walk up
on her sudden like that.

-I pop, Elaine. That's who I am.
-Well, do you want something?

New case. Small, but possible
business behind it.

Karen Horowitz. Nice lady. Family money.

Suing her rabbi.
I told her you could handle it.

Suing her rabbi? For what?

I never get involved in the legals.
She'll be here around 10:00. Thanks.

Oh-- Ah, that's all I have.

What's going on?

Georgia, um--

This is a difficult situation.

Um, you know my wife, Robbie?

Sure.

She doesn't like my working
side by side with you.

-I'm sorry?
-She's an insecure woman.

I mean, what can I say?

There's nothing to justify her insecurity,
but it's nevertheless real.

What's the punch line here?

I have nine litigation associates
but only one wife,

and part of marriage is accommodating
your partner's feelings...

even when they're unfounded.

I am transferring you
to our corporate department.

To Corporate?

Now, if you'd prefer tax or real estate,
we can work that out.

I'm a litigator.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry.

Your-- Your wife has an irrational
jealousy, I get punished for it,

and all you can say is you're sorry?

I-I don't mean to be rude, Ms. Horowitz,
but I just really don't understand.

What's not to understand?

My ex-husband's in a coma.

I understand the coma part.

I just-- Why this makes you
want to sue your rabbi--

I am scheduled to
be remarried in three weeks.

I have never been
so happy in love in my life.

Aw. Mistletoe.

You meant to say mazel tov. Thank you.

So, here's my problem.

Though I am legally divorced from Ira,

by Jewish law I'm still married...

since he got hit by the bus
before he could give me the "get."

Without the "get"--
it's sort of a Jewish release, you see--

I cannot remarry under Jewish law.

Did you follow?
I'm happy to repeat myself.

What if you refused?

He didn't give me
the opportunity to refuse.

He just said you're transferred
and I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.
-That's all right.

-Georgia, that hurts!
-Yeah, I know.

It hurts me to think about it.

So, do I have a case in your opinion?

You're the expert on sex discrimination.

I haven't been fired or docked,
just transferred.

The guy has never harassed me.

It has never been a bad place to work.

Still, he transferred you based on--

Let's talk to the Biscuit.

The what?

John Cage. He's the star
on wrongful termination.

I haven't been fired.

Even so, the same laws could apply.

I-I can't believe this.

How can this be?
This is-- This is just incredible.

Well, I know it's wrong completely,

but a few weeks ago you wanted Ally
transferred out of litigation here.

That's different.

Just pop it.

I don't want to pop it. It could swell.

You don't want enlarged pores
on a first date.

There. I've diminished it.

What do you mean, "diminished it"?

I've diminished the pimple.

It's not as big. It's less than,
smaller, not as much.

You know how Richard would put it.

It's now a pimple de minimis.

You look fab.

-How did it go with Karen Horowitz?
-Okay.

I'm not sure we have cause of action,

but at least the rabbi agreed
to a meeting, and I'm on my way

to his temple to see him.

Good. And what are you up to?

Ally has a date tonight.
I'm minimizing her facial flaws.

Oh. Great.

I do good work.

I don't doubt we couldmake a case, but
the damages would be pretty speculative.

And I don't really want to sue.

I like this job.
I don't want to worry about fallout.

Which makes me think a quiet meeting
with this Burrows guy might be best.

Nobody's gonna force this guy's hand.
I know Jerry.

Which is why I'm thinking
the sword in the stone approach.

There's nobody better than you at that,
John. Can I set up a meeting?

You may.

But first you meet with him again.

Establish that your goal
is to work it out.

You won't be able to resolve it, but I do
not want him braced for hostility.

Then I'll do my meeting.

Can't you, you know,
forget about the rule just this once?

Can I forget about it just this once?

I-I-I don't mean to offend your religion,
but certainly you can make an exception.

We don't do that.

We don't just modify our faith
to make it more popular.

You don't need to be condescending.

Well, forgive me.

I'm not used to people bouncing in here,
asking me to adjust Judaism.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean, um-- Look.

Suppose we could show that Ira planned
to grant the get, which he did.

It's just that he got hit
by a bus before he could do it.

-I'm afraid that doesn't help.
-Why?

These people want to get
married and they can't.

This is really a silly rule. I'm sorry.

You come into my temple
and say it's a silly rule?

Well--

Yes! I think it is not fair.

If two people love each other,
want to get married

and can't because of this silly rule?

It's silly!

And I don't care if you have the Torah and
a bunch of Jewish hoopla to back it up.

Hoopla?

What if your wife had had a former husband
who was a vegetable?

You wouldn't be married!
Did you ever think of that?

-I'm not married.
-And you wonder why.

What?

Are you always such a bitchy little thing?

Bitchy?

Coming in here, insulting the Talmud,
insulting me--

What kind of a rabbi
calls somebody "bitchy"?

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

'Cause I'm bitchy?
God has no love for the bitchy?

-Get out.
-I'm going to tell you something.

Just 'cause you wear
that little thingie on your head

and you have that big heavy scarf,

it doesn't give you
the right to be vicious.

-Vicious?
-Yes, vicious.

You are a vicious rabbi,
and I am going to write a letter!

You insulted a rabbi?

Am I a bigot?

It's just, this seems so unfair and--

I think you're prone to overreactions when
the issues involve matters of the heart.

-Thank you, Elaine.
-Karen Horowitz called. She's on her way.

Oh, great. Oh, how am I gonna--

Oh.

I'm blotchy. You blotched me.

-I did not.
-It's red here. Look!

-I didn't do that.
-Oh, no.

My face just happens to get red in
the same spot that you minimized a pimple.

Look at this red spot! Does that look
less than, not as much, reduced?

-Calm down.
-What calm down?

I look like Gorbachev.

I have a first date tonight and I look
like a dead president from Russia.

This is just rich!

I got a call from the Anti-Defamation
League. Did you go sicko on a rabbi?

Did I go "sicko"?

He said you marched into
his temple all anti-Semitic.

Oh, that little liar. That--

I just criticized
one tiny little Jewish law,

and a big one for Karen Horowitz
and-- and--

I'm sorry.

Maybe I was out of line.
I-I'm so embarrassed.

I can tell.
Part of your face is turning red.

That wasn't helpful.

Is Gorbachev dead?

Georgia, put yourself in my shoes.

This affects my kids.

If my marriage is strained--

I'm not saying I don't sympathize.

But maybe the first step should be
for you and your wife to get counseling,

not to transfer me.

This is not my problem.

Look, I'm not going
to argue the merits of it.

I know you win on that score.

All I'm saying--

If working with a beautiful woman
jeopardizes my family,

my family comes first.

I've retained a lawyer.

Georgia, I could have said you were being

transferred to help
the corporate department.

I could have said the partners
wanted to thin out litigation.

I could have made up any excuse.

Do you think I wanted
to tell the truth here?

But I did so because I've always
been honest with you.

And I admire your honesty, Jerry.

But it is still wrong for me to get
punished for your wife's problem.

So you're suing me?

I hope not.

I'd like you to meet
with my lawyer though.

Fine. Fine.

It's already less red.

It is not. It's just that the rest of
my face is more red 'cause I'm so upset.

Bad news,

good news...

and potentially horrendous news,
whichever order you'd like.

Let's go in that order.

That would be my choice.

The bad news is
Karen Horowitz has returned,

looking a little like my dog Pupple
before we put him to sleep for rabies.

The good news is, this Jason Roberts
really is interested.

-Mmm!
-And the potentially horrendous news...

is that he's here in person right now
to confirm tonight's date.

He's here? With my face like this?

I'd tell him it's a Rorschach
test for love.

That was good.

And tell Jason that--
that I'm in a meeting.

-You can't snub him.
-Just poke your head out.

Tell him you're tied up.

He'll see my face. Do it quick!

-Jason. Hey.
-Hey, Ally.

Look, I'm in the middle of a meeting right
now, and I really can't get out of it.

But I'm looking forward to tonight.

Oh, great. I was thinking that I might
pick you up right here, say, 7:30?

Fabulous! I can't wait.

Okay. Um, 7:30 then.

7:30. Bye.

You ruined me!

Karen, come on in.

Would you like me to stay?

Just this one time? No!

One of the reasons I came to you

is because I regard
Jewish customs seriously.

I tried to gently persuade him.

I have been invited to
leave the synagogue altogether.

Excuse me?

He said it was one thing
to sic a lawyer on him,

yet another to send somebody
who didn't like men,

and still yet another
to hire a "Jew-hater,"

and to wrap all three of them
up in one waify little package.

He called me "waify"?

Oh, great! Make it about you.

I'm the one that's been expelled!

Karen! Karen, I will talk
to this-- this-- this-- Rabbi.

Rabbi. And I promise you, not only will
you get back into that synagogue,

I will make sure that you get married!

And this is a promise from me to you.

You don't have to worry about
the "get" business anymore.

Ira died last night,
so I'm free to marry again.

Oh! He died?

-In his sleep.
-Oh. Well, um--

Mistletoe. Yes, dear. Thank you.

But even still, I would like
to be married in my own temple,

and I can't very well do that expelled!

I will talk to Rabbi Stern.

I will apologize,
and I will make this all go away.

I promise.

-Could I offer you something to drink?
-No, thank you.

I actually had a small Sprite
in your lobby. It refreshed me.

Good.

Look, I know how--

how delicate this situation is,

and I'm prepared to make it
my responsibility to see to it...

that her partnership track
is not interrupted.

Her future here, i-it's solid.

She's a great, great lawyer.

I mean, everybody here knows it.

I find myself deeply troubled.

Well, I-- I tried to tell Georgia th--

It would be unfair for me
to negotiate while troubled.

I'm less receptive to compromise.

I'll call to reschedule.

And he just walked out?

According to Jerry.
Is-- Is this guy all there?

The Biscuit? He's there.
He just works differently.

John, how did it go?

I suspect intransigence.

-This won't be easy.
-I tried to tell you that.

Georgia, I want you to think very hard
as to what you really want.

I want my old job back in litigation.

Please don't rush with your answers.

-He works differently.
-H--

Now I have another meeting with the rabbi

to persuade him to take her back
in the synagogue.

That's the thing about me.

I make all my clients forget about all
their troubles by giving them bigger ones.

Don't try to be funny.
I hate myself funny.

By the end of the month she'll be
remarried and everything will be fine.

This guy has future written all over him.

So, um, did you become a D.A.
right out of law school?

Almost.

Worked at the Justice Department
for a year.

Then I switched.

I wanted the trial experience.

You see this guy

This guy's in love with you

What?

Uh, I was just thinking
about something else.

Something... else?

-Who looks at you the way I do
-Ab-bout the law?

Yeah. This 10-B-5 stock fraud.

You know how thrilling those cases can be.

Oh. Yeah.

I-I get tingles.

I still haven't figured out
a way to prosecute them.

I guess the object in those cases is just
probably to try to keep the jury awake.

I mean, the worst thing
about being a D.A. is...

the sense of futility, I suppose.

Oh... yeah.

Get that gunk off your face!

Oh, thank God.

Um, you, you h-- have a little--

Oh. Thanks.

I'm not really in favor
of the three strikes law,

but, uh, it is frustrating.

You know?

It's all one big, giant conspiracy.

So you're not going to date him?

I have a thing about first impressions.

I will forever see him
as Salad Dressing Face.

-Ally!
-It's not a criticism of him.

It's me. I need therapy. I know it.

Salad dressing?

I might have been able
to get past the first little drip,

but the second one was a gob,
a big gob of gooey, creamy Italian.

It will forever be etched on his face,
forever and ever and ever.

You have such a talent
for ruling guys out.

You just blew off a guy
last week for neck hair.

Well, I wouldn't have if I could
have wiped it off with a napkin.

The truth is, you missed
a giant opportunity.

-I did?
-Yes.

You could have blotted his chin.
A little touch.

Physical affection.

And it's maternal. Guys love that.

Whenever I'm attracted to a guy,
I hope and pray

he's got a crumb or something on his face.

I would love to talk more,
but I'm late for temple.

Alone. Forever. You. Alone.

I know my answer may have seemed rushed,

but I really do want to stay where I am,
doing what I'm doing.

I'd like everything to stay the same.

And, unfortunately, that is the one option
which is unavailable to you.

Why?

We could get her job back in litigation by
pressuring him, but it won't be the same.

It'd be different from Burrows's
perspective, from yours.

You'd have all the security
of a network executive.

That is the reality.

The reality of suing him... is even worse.

How so?

How so?

I'm collecting an errant thought.

Should you prevail in a lawsuit, and it's
my feeling you would, you'd get money.

But as far as future employment, nobody--

nobody will hire a pretty young woman...

fresh on the heels of
a sex discrimination suit.

Like it or not, you would be unhirable.

Uh, that's not a real word.

I use it anyway, which should give you
an idea as to how severely it applies.

Well, then, what do you suggest I do?

Accept the transfer, go to Corporate,
call a headhunter and update your résumé.

What? That sucks!

Well, that's not the word
I would use, but it is a real one.

-I-I'm not going to Corporate.
-Pragmatically--

-I hate that word-- pragmatic!
-Georgia, may I take your hand?

As a woman, I'd say sue.
But I'm not a woman.

That's not where I was going.

I got boxed in
by my poor choice of syntax.

Look, you can make a point for womankind,

or you can do what is probably
best in your own self interests.

I-I-I want to sue.

If it means not working there, fine.

I won't sit back and take this.

Splendid.

I'm normally a calm person,
but when you call me things like-- What?

Jew-hater, man-hater,

-and there was a third.
-Lawyer.

Yeah, that. In a pejorative way
it's not in me to let that go.

It's only because of Karen Horowitz that
I have decided to come here conciliatory.

This is you conciliatory?

Well... you said very bad things about me.

Very bad.

You said bad things about Judaism.
You called it "hoopla."

I did not call it hoo--

Oh.

I just meant that a person
shouldn't, you know,

be denied the right to get married...

just because of a little custom
that came about before the wheel.

Oh, well, if you had put it that way
I wouldn't have taken offense.

I'm sorry. I--

I-I do these things.

I have a habit of saying the wrong thing
when I'm upset.

If you could fill this room
with everybody I've offended,

people would probably think
you're a much better rabbi than you are.

And--

Here's the deal.

When people are together
or they're about to get married...

and something happens
to keep them apart, it pushes a button.

Now, if I came on aggressive
I really apologize.

I just hope you don't punish Karen.

She's very devoted to you
and this synagogue. She really is.

I understand. I do.

But you came here as her agent,
acting within the scope of that agency,

therefore your actions
run to her accountability.

Where do you come up with these jingles?

I must have hit the bitchy button.

Two people want to get married
and you fire off slogans!

I should push "conciliatory"!

If she doesn't get a "get," you lose
funding? You are a rude, rude woman!

Is common sense pinched off
by that thing on your head?

Did you just say, "Is common sense pinched
off by that thing on my head?"

That was a slip.

What?

Oh!

I demand to know what part
of me you're laughing at.

Let me just say,

I'm going to assume that Karen's hiring of
you says something about her.

You tell her she's welcome here,

and I would be glad to do the ceremony.

Is this a trick?

Is this some sort of trickery,
you being nice?

I hate it when I don't
know what I've done,

especially when it's good.

I demand to know
why you are pleased with me!

Hey, John. How's it going?

Unacceptable.

Forgive my snooping. I just had to get
a glimpse of your pregame regimen.

Not that I learned much. Are you ready?

I am.

He's in there, waiting.

Good luck, John. Sometimes he can scream.

The room is ready.
The water has been chilled to 41 degrees.

-Thank you for agreeing to meet me.
-Mm-hmm.

Uh, look, Mr. Cage,

litigators have various techniques
for distracting opponents,

but please.

Look, I've been around a long time.
Perhaps we could sit closer.

I sit here as if to suggest
the room is full.

But it isn't.

Next meeting it will be.

These chairs will be filled
with your fellow partners,

people whose eyes you look into more
than any others for respect,

acceptance.

They know the situation,
but an excellent idea.

Well, they may know the facts,
Mr. Burrows,

but they've only heard you tell them.

My presentation may be less exonerating.

My presentation may have
the added impact of, well,

presentation,

one if made in front of a jury
would incur embarrassment,

not just to you but your entire firm,

a firm that-- correct me if I'm wrong--
cherishes reputation,

flaunts it for recruitment purposes.

It would be painful to have these
allegations levied against you...

before a jury, in an open forum.

It would be excruciating to bear them...

in a room filled with colleagues
who consider you a friend,

colleagues who trusted you with preserving
the integrity of a franchise...

they've all committed
themselves to deeply.

ook at yourself through their eyes,
Mr. Burrows, and hear the truth.

You hurt a young woman
at the bequest of a jealous wife.

Your partnership earnings, together
with bonuses, totaled $972,000 last year.

That's quite a bit of money, Mr. Burrows.

But it's only money.

For a man who prioritizes family,

money really is only money.

So, it becomes a smaller sacrifice
to give some of it to Georgia Thomas...

in exchange for your right to, uh, spare
embarrassment to your wife, your children,

to spare ridicule to a firm devoted
to its highbrow pedigree of principle.

You want to dismiss today's meeting
to one litigator's technique,

you may do so, Mr. Burrows,

but at enormous personal
and professional peril.

Fortunately you have a very easy out here.

Money.

Is the conference room available?

Rabbi. Hi.

The wedding is on. In my synagogue.
I'll be doing the service.

That's great.

Can I steal a second?

Sure.

Snappish!

Listen, I, uh, apologize for laughing
back at the temple,

but I have to say...

the thing I hate most about being a rabbi
is how everyone tiptoes around me.

Friends I grew up with suddenly became
embarrassed

to say a dirty word in front of me.

I found it refreshing how you were
so willing to be obnoxious.

-Thank you.
-Oh.

-Anytime.
-Listen.

Would you like to come
to the wedding as my date?

Oh, God, no. I mean--

What would God think,
you showing up with a Methodist?

Three weeks is a long ways off and I might
be in a relationship by then, God willing.

My God.

I'm sorry. Here I go.

I-- Look.

I've been having kind of a weird stretch.

Last week I gave mouth-to-mouth
to a huge person...

who thought it was a Snow White thing
in reverse, and he asked me out.

And then I finally met somebody I
could like, and he had creamy Italian.

And now I assault Judaism
and get hit on by a rabbi.

Something tells me
that I just probably shouldn't date...

until the world begins
to make sense again.

You could have just said, "No, thank you."

You're right. Ask me again.

I don't have my mental health.

I don't have my mental health.

I don't have my mental health.

I don't have my--

This will probably teach me
to lock the door.

Don't get up.

I would, but...

I'm lacking the words, Georgia.

I'm also lacking any feeling in my feet.

This happens sometimes
when I'm embarrassed.

Is there any way I can help?

No.

I'll be getting up now.

-I apologize.
-Okay.

It was good to see you. You, too.

You might think there's an explanation,

but you would be wrong.

That thing is giving me a headache.

Relax, Georgia.

-Billy.
-Georgia.

Billy.

Don't tell me to relax.
I know Jerry Burrows.

When you tell him
he can't win, he digs in.

Which is why we're all ready
for this meeting.

-Are we ready?
-Yes, we are.

I'm so tired of your excuses, girl.
You got all these excuses.

I don't have any excuses. I-It's just--

They're either too fat, too Jewish,
too much chin dressing.

You go cold on guys
'cause it's your nature.

You need a new attitude.

Would you go out with a rabbi?

-I might.
-I seriously doubt it.

Don't usher me.

Oh!

-Oh!
-Later.

-Ally.
-Jason. Hey. How are you?

Great. You're looking good this morning.

So are you.

-I had a good time the other night.
-Me, too.

Wanna try it again sometime?

Um--

Uh, whatever.
We don't need to make plans today.

Okay.

Don't ask me to explain that.
It's-- It's just, uh--

No, a-actually, I am going to explain it.

I'm interested, but that salad dressing on
your face the other night--

The image keeps sticking with me, so
I needed to do something to preempt it.

And now I have.

I have wiped the slate
and your face clean.

Call me.

Nice kiss, by the way.

You just did that?

It was so out of my character.
I think that's why I enjoyed it.

What a story.
I can't wait to embellish it.

What's going on in there?

The big meeting.

I thought real hard about
your presentation, Mr. Cage,

and I don't doubt the efficacy
of your delivery.

But you know what? I sense a waning public
appetite with sex discrimination laws.

-Do you?
-Yeah.

I think these safeguards insult women,
make them look weak even.

I also sense a waning appetite

with people who sue
who haven't really been hurt.

I haven't been hurt?

I get flipped over to Corporate where
I proofread leverage buyout contracts?

You weren't fired. You weren't demoted.
Your salary is exactly the same.

I got kicked out of my department because
your wife thought I was too pretty!

-You going to argue that in court?
-No. I plan to champion it.

Because I'm willing to bet that
a jury won't hate a man

that puts his family before his job.

-You put your family before her job!
-Yes, I did.

And here's the bottom line--
there are no compensatory damages here.

She's not out of pocket.
All you have are possible punitives.

That means you have to get a jury
to not like me.

And, hey, I'll take that bet.

We could plead emotional distress.

Please do that. I would love it.

The beautiful blonde
is emotionally distressed.

You think I won't get you. Just try me.

-I will get you! Don't yell at me!
-I will yell!

I might even kick
your ass right in this room!

-All right. Would you excuse us?
-No, I will not excuse you!

-I will stay right here!
-This is my case! My life!

Please. Just give us two minutes.

Well? How did it go?

-Good, I think.
-We did our part.

The Biscuit will bring it home. Trust me.

Hey, interesting, uh, defense strategy.

I'm tempted to incorporate
that into another case I'm defending...

where the issue is similar.

The appeal to family-- I like that.

-Yeah. You're to be commended.
-Well, thank you.

Yeah, I agree, actually, the successful
prosecution of our claim here...

is by no means a guarantee.

As you can see, I'm dealing
with very emotional clients.

The prospect of losing is no deterrent.

They're determined to see this through,
whatever the cost.

Yeah, but can they afford the cost?
Young kids, mortgage to pay--

Well, that's where
I'm sort of helping them out.

Since Billy is a member of the firm,
this case is on the house.

And given that, given their outrage,

no, we can't count on practicality
to ever figure into their thinking.

Yeah.

And as inventive as that family defense
is-- and again, I like it--

we both know in the end you probably lose.

And you'll probably look bad.

Well, yesterday
I got to do my little dance.

Today it was your turn to play peacock.

Now it's time to do what we lawyers
always do in the end.

We pick a number.

Ms. McBeal. How delightful to see you.

Call me Ally. And that was snide.

I'm sorry.

I just had this sudden fear that you now
have a client who likes ham...

and you're here asking me
to waive that stupid little kosher thing.

Actually, I've come here to ask you out...

on a date.

-What are you up to?
-Nothing.

I-I've just been thinking.

And, see, I am so indifferent
to every man I meet these days.

It's rare that one comes along who I could
so immediately dislike.

So I figure there must be
something behind that.

This is how you ask me out?

Look,

they say you're not supposed
to be honest with men...

because the truth is so detrimental
to their image,

but I am just going to lay this out.

You and I--

It's probably like mayonnaise on brisket,

but I've decided to make
an adjustment in my social life.

-What do you mean "adjustment"?
-I have decided to juggle.

Instead of waiting for Mr. Right, I'm
gonna take chances on Mr. Not Likely's...

on the theory of "Who knows?"

-Juggle.
-Yes.

And I would like you to be one
of the balls I keep up in the air.

It's taking a lot of time.

Well, he doesn't like to rush.

Oh, he-- he doesn't like to rush.

You know, it doesn't
give me great confidence.

-Don't "Georgia" me!
-I didn't say anything.

You were about to.

I have put my whole career in
the hands of Bagpipe Biscuit...

who doesn't even look
at people when he talks.

$311,000. End of business.

Uh-- Payable to me?

-Today.
-$300,000?

And 11. $311,000.

I'm rich! I mean, I-I can--
Student loans-- gone!

Car payment-- gone!

-Billy!
-Gone!

I'm kidding. Just kidding.

Look, it is conditioned on you being out
in two weeks. That is a concern.

Even though this is all sealed,
there are leaks.

And when you're out of a job
it is difficult to find a new one.

-She'll work here!
-What?

Sh-She'll work here while she looks.

We could use the talent and she'd be able
to interview from strength.

-Really?
-Well, if it's okay with Billy.

Some men don't like to work side-by-side
with the ball and chain.

-That's your call.
-I think it's great. Do it.

You--

You don't have to do all of this for me.

Georgia, you're a great lawyer.
This is good for us.

Helping people is never more rewarding
than when it's in your own self interest.

Look there! You just got
your first Fishism! Welcome, family!

Yeah!

I've been down this road

Walking the line that's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life

That I just can't hide

To Georgia! Welcome aboard.

-Oh, thank you.
-Welcome, Georgia.

-And how about our Biscuit?
-To John.

-Yes!
-To John!

So, you kiss Dip-Chin and tell the rabbi
you want to juggle his--

Renee, it's the new me.

You were right.
I have got to start ruling men in.

I have Roberts on Tuesday,

the rabbi on Thursday,
Chicago Hope in between.

I have a life.

This rabbi is conservative.
He can't intermarry. You do know this?

I don't convert on the first date.

And besides, this is exactly my point.

I am not looking for a lifetime.
I am looking for a fun Tuesday night.

That would be fine
if you were capable of fun.

Well, I am!

Ally McBeal, man-eater.

I like it.

-Ally.
-Georgia.

You're the one person I haven't
run this by, my joining the firm.

-I think it's great.
-Well, it's probably only temporary.

Just a few months until--

Georgia, here's a hot flash.

I like you. I'm glad.

Just lock the door in the--

I will.

I have a dance with the Biscuit.
Out of courtesy.

She asked. I'm not moved by the music.

-All new associates have to dance with me.
-Oh, really?

I did.

He's mine. They're yours.

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah I decided to move on

They say it's all in the attitude,

and mine has changed.

And I can tell.
This time it's going to last.

Maybe even a week.

Ooh, yeah

Oh, I believe I am ready

For what love has to give, yeah

I've got myself together

Now I'm ready to live

Yeah

I know there's so much more to life

You stinker!