All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S01E03.1997.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

- This is the pair.
- You think?

Absolutely.
They're tight enough to give you form.

But they don't flatten.
You see how it both lifts and rounds?

Plus you got some room in the thighs so it
doesn't look sprayed on.

Oh, yes. This is the pair.

Oh, the perks. I'm blinded.
What's going on?

Ally has her first date tonight
with Cheanie.

Oh! And this is how you practice.
That's great.

I'm deciding what to wear, Richard.
What do you want?

Nothing. I came in because of the smell.
I could smell the denim.

All that from one pair of pants.
I can't believe it.

Oh! Oh! That's why.

- Denim doesn't smell.
- Hmm. Fine. Suit yourself.

What are you doing?

Oh. Um, Richard said that denim smells.
Denim doesn't smell, does it?

No. No, it doesn't.

Oh. We knew that.

-We just were--
- Double checking?

Yeah. Um, did you want something, Georgia?

Yes, actually. I want you.

I'm representing Barbara Cooker, the
anchorwoman. You heard about this trial?

Yeah. You're representing her?

Trial starts tomorrow.

You are trying that case?

She's a pretty good litigator, Ally.

Plus, I hear the partners at her firm...

thinks it helps to have a woman do
the sex-discrimination cases.

I hear.

Anyway, I want you as my cocounsel.

- Me?
- Her?

- What?
- Nothing.

Why me?

Because the lawyer defending
the station is Jack Billings.

The Jack Billings.

- Hmm.
- Hey!

Yeah. I think your being at my table
might distract him a little.

- Plus you know his rhythms.
- Oh. I-I don't know.

- Really.
- Oh, come on.

Don't you wanna get this guy?

The press will be covering it.
You can get even in public.

- Oh, I would love that.
- How is the case?

The case is great.

They should be settling.
We have an interoffice smoking-gun memo...

saying she should be fired
for looking too old.

I don't know why they're
even going to trial.

You two, cocounsel?

Jackie boy loses focus
when it turns into sport,

and my being at the table,
I think it could work.

Yeah.

See, it's just that I have concerns
about the match here.

I realize you two share similar D.N.A.,
but it's Billy's.

It's--

Georgia and I are adults.
We're attorneys, and we're friends.

And we will be able to work together

whether you're able
to picture it or not, Richard.

Fine.

I see the picture perfectly.

I've been down this road

Walkin' the line that's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life

That I just can't hide

Oh, I believe I am ready

For what love has to bring Yeah, yeah

I got myself together

Now I'm ready to sing

I've been searching my soul tonight

I know there's so much more to life

Now I know I can shine a light

To find my way back home

Oh

Baby, yeah

Oh, yeah

- This is crazy.
- Why? Why?

I think it's wrong.

A lawyer just doesn't jump into a lawsuit
the day before trial.

I'll be second-chairing.
It doesn't matter.

When you walk into a courtroom and say
ready for trial, you should be ready.

- I don't see a problem.
- Richard.

Maybe it's just because
you oppose my cocounseling

a case with your first wife.

- I beg your pardon?
- Bygones.

- What did that mean, first wife?
- A joke. Ha.

- Ha?
- Ha. Bygones. Do it.

There's nothing wrong with you
doing it. It has nothing to do with Billy.

Unless you're taking the case

because it does have something
to do with Billy,

in which case I would have a problem.

- Billy isn't a factor.
- Well, there you go.

Do you think it would be bad to cancel
my date with Ronald Cheanie?

Tonight's date?

I have a trial in the morning,
and I don't know. Oh, God.

Reschedule. He'll understand.

Well, I can't really reschedule...

until he calls me, and he may not call
until the end of the day, and then--

That would be kind of rude to cancel
on such short notice.

Why can't you call him?

I can't call him. Rule number five:

To call is to pursue, and to pursue makes
you look too interested.

And then it makes him desire you less.

It's all right there in the book, Renee.

The Rules.

You read this?
These are the Cooker pleadings.

So you're not gonna call
this guy to blow him off...

because it's gonna make you look
too interested?

That book really works, Renee.

- I bet you use it.
- And men drip off of me.

"Don't talk to a man first.
Don't meet him halfway.

Mm-mmm.

Don't see him more than once"?

It's not about getting dates.
It's about getting a husband.

Elaine.

Well, I don't see any husbands
dripping off of you.

Well, if I wanted a husband,
I could just snap my fingers.

Well, that would be against your rules,
wouldn't it? You'd look like the pursuer.

- Correct.
- All right.

Thank you, Elaine.

Well, I see where you get
your snappishness.

Ally?

- What is this?
- I'm scared.

Okay? I'm scared. First dates scare me.

Come on, you've already kissed this guy.

It wasn't a kiss. It wasn't a real kiss.
It was more like a demonstration.

I didn't even have to do any kissing back.

My lips just sort of stood their ground.

You're right.

He's probably gonna consider it a kiss,

which means he's probably figuring on
kissing me again tonight,

and technically, this is our first date,

and you shouldn't
kiss a guy on the first date.

- You just shouldn't.
- You really like this guy.

- I don't know.
- All right.

Just go out for drinks. Go to the bar.

You'll probably run into some friends
that help dilute the pressure.

I could, you know, be there perhaps.

- Would you?
- If you want, Ally.

But this?

I know she's right.

It's just whenever
I make a fool of myself,

I feel better if I can
blame it on the research.

The memo came
from a lower-level executive.

That's a defense you can make at trial.

Thank you. Would you mind terribly
if I finish my thoughts?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you ever saw them to conclusion.

- All right.
- Georgia's pretty good.

There are so many reasons to hate her.

The memo is a bomb.

If it gets admitted into evidence,
my client would be denied...

any chance for a fair trial.

The memo says what happened.

Your client fired Ms. Cooker
because of her looks.

If you could show this thing was a factor,

I'd say admit it, but you can't.

And the jury won't bother
with the distinction.

They'll see the smoke coming
from this little document,

make up their minds, and that will be it.

Mr. Billings, I understand
your displeasure, but as bombs go,

I think you would agree this would be
of the more relevant variety.

- Also more prejudicial.
- Your motion's denied.

See you all tomorrow.

So the memo comes in?

Yeah. They should offer something now.

Ah.

Next, please. Docket number 79362--

How are you doing, Ally?
It's good to see you again.

Thank you.

Yeah. I'll probably have a
little dream about you tonight.

You might wanna sue me in advance.

That's very funny, Jack,

'cause, um, I had
a feeling the other day...

that you and I might get together,

and that's exactly where it took place.

In your dreams.

Is this normal negotiating?

Ally's job is to keep him on tilt.

Ah.

I

I'm so in love with you

The first dance is critical.

I never start off close.
It gives me no place to go.

A dance is basically foreplay.

First there's the smile, then the laugh.

The right kind of laugh
can make a man feel interesting and funny.

And that's what guys love most in women--

somebody who makes them feel engaging.

I'm not listening to a word he says,

and he's not hearing anything I say.

He's got two questions:

does she like me
and will my mother like her?

And mothers love me.

He is cute.

Okay, this is the part
where you just hold his eyes,

look right at him,
give him a sense of progress.

I think I'll nestle in now,
let him smell me.

A little smile, a little sniff.

It's so easy. Let me be the one

You come running to

I realize that 40 is ancient, but still, I
mean, it's probably a cost thing.

They had to start putting more makeup on,

and in the overtime, it adds up. Trust me.

And, I mean, she's good-looking.
Maybe it's a cost thing.

Why are you talking so fast?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Really? I don't know. Um, why?

Well, you seem a little nervous.

Oh. Well, I do get nervous
at the end of dates 'cause, uh--

Make up something. Lie.

The word "end" reminds me
of the word "beginning."

And, you know, word association.

And the word "beginning"
reminds me of how-how the earth began,

and that always reminds me of the time
that I flunked a science test...

because I wrote down "big bang"

not knowing that the teacher
was really religious.

- And-And that's why I talk fast.
- Uh-huh.

Does he love me

I wanna know

Well, you probably got to call it a night

if you have a trial tomorrow, huh?

Yeah.

I can give him a little kiss.
Nothing slutty in that.

This case is getting some publicity.
Does that make you nervous?

I'm nervous about what
you're gonna do. Speed it up.

A little.

Well, I had a really great time.

Me too.

Okay. Good night.

- Good night.
- Finally.

Oh, no You'll be deceived

Is it in his eyes

Oh, no He'll make believe

If you wanna know if he loves you so

It's in his kiss

What was that? Thanks.

- Sure.
- He pecked me?

I laughed. We danced close.
I let him sniff.

He pecks me?

If you wanna know if he loves you so

It's in his kiss

- Now, how does Jell-O help?
- I don't know. It just does.

When I eat Jell-O, I feel better.
Don't ask me to reduce it to a science.

You could've kissed him.

It would've broken the rules, of course.

But here's a flash, Ally.
Some guys are shy.

I let him smell me.

Well, maybe he didn't wanna
come off too interested.

Maybe there's another bunch of stupid
rules out there for men.

This is the problem with playing games.
Somebody's got to lose at it.

I really, really hope he calls me today
just so I can hang up on him.

You had a great date. I don't care.

He kissed me before.
We were dancing close.

Most men would've asked to sleep with me.
But no, what he did was rude.

Sleep with you?

Well, I wouldn't have said yes, but still.

What, he can't be a man
and just paw me a little?

I am a sexual object, for God's sake.

He couldn't give me a little grope?

Uhh.

How long had you been anchoring at WKZN?

Eleven years.

And during that time, you'd received
various awards, had you not?

Yes. Seven local news Emmys.

Um, I received a Peabody Award.

But this isn't about job performance.

Ms. Cooker, I show you this interoffice
memo dated March 3.

Who is the author
as it appears on the document?

George, uh, Micklehead.
He's the station superintendent.

And would you please read for the court
the highlighted section?

"Crunching the demos,

only six percent of the
18-to-30-year-old men...

"would care to sleep with her.

"The number's only
slightly higher for the 18-to-45 group.

Basically, the only men
who get a rise out of her

are no longer capable of rising."

How does it make you feel to read that?

It hurts.

Do you think it's wrong to make a
personnel decision based on appearance?

I think it's wrong to fire someone because
you think they look too old.

You do? Suppose I'm a television producer
casting a movie...

and I needed a young 30-ish, sexy lady?

We're not talking about a television
movie. We're talking about the news.

I see. So you would predicate
your position then...

on the premise that television news
and television entertainment...

are two different things altogether?

Yes.

The decisions that go
into making television news...

have nothing to do with entertainment?

I didn't say that.

Well, say it if you believe it.

Obviously, news programming has been
perverted by the need to get ratings.

I won't deny it.

If it bleeds, it leads.
We've all heard that one.

And sex. The news loves
to sell sex these days too.

Isn't that true, Ms. Cooker?

Maybe we should object.

- No. She can handle herself.
- I realize that news shows...

need to be arresting,
exotic and even sexy.

And it always helps to have
a pretty face up there.

But that still doesn't make it right
to fire a person...

whose job performance
is beyond reproach...

simply because her face begins
to show a wrinkle or two.

But why not? What if you interviewed
for this job...

and they said, "Sorry. We were looking
for somebody younger"?

- Would that be okay?
- Yes.

So they could hire based on youth,

but they can't
fire based on lack of youth?

- That's right.
- Where's the distinction?

Well, the distinction is that

if someone already has a job
and they're doing it well,

you shouldn't be able to fire them
because of old age.

- It's ageism.
- Ah.

Here's a picture of you
when they hired you.

Isn't it possible
that part of the criteria...

was this pretty face
and this youthful appearance?

Couldn't that have been a part of what the
station was looking for, Ms. Cooker?

Yes, but--

The woman you replaced,
she was older, wasn't she?

Yes.

Good looks and youth cut
in your favor 15 years ago.

- Didn't they, Ms. Cooker?
- That doesn't make it right.

But you didn't object then.

You participated in the ageism
then by taking the job.

And here you sit today.
Isn't that wretched hypocrisy, Ms. Cooker?

Objection.

Let the record reflect that the two size
fours just objected.

- I wonder how they got their jobs.
- Objection!

I still can't believe it.

I should've seen it coming.
It was vintage Billings.

- He argued age discrimination.
- I'd put her back up there.

Yeah. Don't worry.

- If that's him, I'm not home.
- Who?

Oh, come on. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not here for him.

- Pizza's here.
- Who?

You want him, Ally.

I don't.

- Who?
- Cheanie. The guy who's totally gay.

Hi. I-I-I-I knew you were there.

Is that why you don't
return my phone calls?

You think I'm gay?

No! No, I don't-- I-I-I think-- I'm-I'm in
trial. It's this trial.

- And I'm-- You're--
- Ally, I came here to get the truth.

- Just kiss her.
- Renee.

- I got to go.
- She's a jokester.

That must be why we're all laughing.

Ronnie, I-I-I'm sorry.

I-I-I-- I'm in the middle--
Could we talk tomorrow?

Could you-- You could just be patient,
and I could explain everything.

- And please, please, tomorrow.
- Why can't you explain it now?

Please. Tomorrow.

I-I-I-I--
I'm in the middle-- I'm-I'm in trial.

And, um, I'm-I'm-- You're-- I'm--
Please. Tomorrow.

Okay. Fine.

Why did you do that?

Because. I wasn't gonna watch you go
through your typical mating dance...

where you always wind up mateless.

What mating dance?

You know. The I-I-I-I
don't really have time now.

It's complicated.
I-I really just can't go into it.

It's just-- It's just--
Oh. What's the word?

I'm alone. That's it. I'm alone.
There's nobody else in the room.

I'm all by myself.

Oh, I'm in the kitchen now.
Alone. Hello, pot.

Hello, pan.

Alone. Mateless.

How can I tell if he loves me so

Is it in his eyes

Oh, no You'll be deceived

It was stupid to try
and date and litigate in the same week.

Get in the crosswalk. It's too confusing.

Cheanie will probably side
with the merits of our case,

and then I'll get asked out by the jury.

Excuse me. Sorry!

Or is it in his face

But that doesn't mean I fail to recognize

the cosmetic reality of television news.

And if you do,

then why shouldn't the station be allowed
to make a cosmetic change?

It's wrong if it's based
solely on cosmetics.

I had a deal with these people,
a contract.

Well, and they are willing to honor the
financial terms of that contract.

Paying me off to walk away
isn't honoring the terms.

It's not honor at all.

I turned away previous offers from
competitors who sought to steal me away,

because I felt I had
a fiduciary relationship...

with this station and with these people.

I had a duty of good faith,
and I honored it.

"Honor." "Good faith." "Fiduciary."

Do these words have
any real meaning in TV news?

They do, and they should.

And these are things that
a court of law should try to enforce.

Well, good faith is a component of every
contract, Mr. Billings.

So we say. But let's take the contract to
its most organic, to marriage.

The court won't go near enforcing fidelity
or good faith in marriage contracts.

Objection. This is not a domestic case.

No, but come on.

This plaintiff is asking the court to jump
in and enforce fidelity?

In TV news?

You seem to have gotten off
the beaten path.

I'm not so sure, Your Honor.
Are you married, Ms. Cooker?

- Objection.
- Short leash, counsel.

- Ms. Cooker, married?
- Divorced.

Since I'm on a short leash,
I'll cut right to it.

Your husband left you for a younger woman,
didn't he?

- Yes.
- And that hurt, didn't it? A lot.

- Objection.
- Sustained.

Ms. Cooker, is it possible the suit
against my client

being replaced by a younger woman...

has more to do with your anger
against your husband?

No. That's not true.

Been dumped by a younger model once.
Not gonna let it happen twice.

- Objection.
- Speaking of younger models--

Objection!

- Ladies, how was court today?
- It sucked.

Is there anybody in there
who's gonna jump out at me?

No. When you have a few seconds,

I have some thoughts on why Cheanie may
not have wanted to kiss you.

I think I'm finding my niche--
losing cases that can't be lost.

I'm the one who's losing it.

We're just gonna have to hope...

the jury hates Jack Billings
as much as we do.

If that's possible. Where is Barbara?

She's in the unisex bathroom.

I think she's a little upset with how
things are going.

Well, that'll change. They're gonna have
to put their people up.

And I'm gonna have to get 'em.
Now it's our turn.

Uh, she-she in? Ally in?

Yeah, she is. But may I just say something
before you go in?

I suppose.

Ally is a very important friend of mine.

And if you're really interested in her,
well, that's one thing.

But if you are just after
a few cheap thrills,

you'll have to go through me.

Uh, well, I-I-I-I can appreciate that.

I was just about to tell you.

Ronnie, now is not a good time.

What I have to say is gonna take two
seconds.

No.

- Two seconds.
- There are people in my office.

I don't know what's going on.
I really don't.

If you called today,
I swear I was gonna return.

Well, that's very nice to know.

But what I need to say to you,
I have to say in person.

All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay?

I-I-I was just being stupid
and insecure, 'cause--

Well, since you didn't kiss me
the other night,

I-I-I got insecure, and I thought maybe

you didn't wanna see me anymore.

And I'm sorry.

Oh. Okay.

So can we wipe it clean?

Uh, no.

Uh, actually, I think I-- Your-Your-Your
instincts were correct.

- He is gay.
- Back off, Elaine.

What-- What do you mean
my instincts were correct?

I-I, uh, I don't-- I don't think, uh,
I should see you anymore.

What?

I just don't think that you
and I are gonna work out.

Oh.

Oh.

Um-- Okay.

Okay, that's, um--
Probably that-- that's best.

Well, I said it would just take
a couple of seconds, so--

Good-bye, I guess.

Yeah. Bye. All right. Bye.

Billy, hello.

- What's wrong?
- What? Nothing.

Ronald Cheanie. He, um--

He-- He dumped me.

Damn it!

What-- What, he's
leaving the whole firm or just you?

- Out.
- Yeah, absolutely.

- Let me just say in times like these--
- Now!

Maybe I can still catch him.

You okay?

Why don't men like me?

Are you crazy? Men love you. You're--

They go nuts for you.
Only until they get to know me.

I got to know you, Ally, and I fell in
love with you, remember?

Yeah, and you left. Remember?

Ally, trust me.

Knowing you is not
a deterrent to loving you, okay?

Sometimes I just-- I just--

All I ever wanted was-was to be rich...

and to be successful
and to have three kids...

and a husband who was waiting home for me
at night to tickle my feet.

And-And-And look at me. Look at how I've--

I don't even like my hair.

Today, sadly, when we look
for an anchorperson,

we probably shop more for a model
than a journalist.

Is there a reason for this trend?

A big one.

- The public.
- Could you explain?

Well, it's not a terribly patriotic thing
to say, but, uh--

You can say it, sir.

Okay. We're a stupid country.

- America?
- Land of idiots.

The average viewer's attention span
is that of a gnat.

Hong Kong becomes a free nation.

If we give it more than a minute coverage,

women flip over to channel 2 to see
whether Madonna has bleached her roots.

And men-- sports, homicides, sex crimes.
Anybody follow O.J.?

That sounds pretty cynical, sir.

It doesn't make me feel happy.

That woman right there.

The finest TV journalist
I've ever worked with, ever.

Unfortunately, there wasn't
enough buzz on the Internet

about wanting to see her naked.

It's putrid. I got so frustrated,

I sent a proposal down
to our board of directors,

suggesting that we
lose anchors altogether...

and replace them with talking breasts.

The proposal was voted down 11 to nine.

A land of idiots.

- But you're not like that.
- No, I'm not.

You know better
than the rest of the village.

Well, I know for a fix of profundity not
to tune in to Jerry Springer.

But you're the one
who fired Barbara Cooker.

We're a consumer business, Ms. McBeal.

If the people don't watch,
we're out of that business.

That just sounds so logical,
I'm tempted to give up right here.

I've been tempted to give up myself.

- Yes. Poor you.
- All right.

You mention Jerry Springer.

People watch him.
Why not use him as your anchorman?

Because I have disc problems
in my lower back.

I can only stoop to a certain level.

Jerry Springer would be a stooge?

No. Not if we wanna cover amputee
transvestites kissing midgets...

in order to make their mothers jealous.

But of you want a modicum of integrity
in your broadcasts--

And if the people wanted to see the kind
of person that you just described,

you do draw lines.

Yes.

But you chose not to draw the
line when it came to ageism.

And if the public let you know that they
didn't want a black anchor,

the customer would win?

No. I'm not a bigot.

- Ageism is a bigotry.
- Well, maybe it is.

But it's unconscionable
to prefer race or skin color.

It isn't to want
a prettier or younger face.

- So now you're defending the public.
- No, no--

No, no. Wait. No. The idiots.

No, I'm not. What I'm saying,

though not me, I can understand how others
may wanna see beauty on the screen.

And as a pragmatic person who has to keep
a news show in business,

sometimes I have to compromise
to the public's whim.

So you've made
a big compromise firing her?

Creatively, yes.

And this woman,
who served you for 15 years,

turned down more lucrative offers at other
stations only to be fired now--

she also made a very big compromise,
didn't she?

It's a cruel world.
But also it's the real world.

I object to that, Your Honor.

I object to people who every
time they do something scummy...

blame it on the environment.

I don't think that's
an objection I can rule on,

but you've made your point.

You were great.
You got us right back in the game.

- You think?
- I know it. I was watching the jury.

- They don't like that lump.
- Girls.

Still looking well.

Don't be smug, Jackie. She just scored in
there, and you know it.

The jury likes her. You, they'd like
to come at with a meat hook.

I'd put up some serious money. Fast.

The tables are turning.

- Georgia!
- I think you should close.

- What?
- The jury likes you.

You definitely go in with more momentum
than me. You close.

When I'm strong in
court, I feel strong in general.

I like to take advantage
of my strong periods.

I can do certain things I wouldn't
ordinarily have the strength to do.

Yes. Ronald Cheanie, please.

Well, interrupt him. Tell him it's
Ally McBeal calling.

Big fan of the truth? You're not gonna
walk away until you get it?

Well, same with me, and I'm gonna squat
right here until you give it to me.

That didn't come out the way I meant.

Could you excuse us
for a second there, Shirley?

This office is too big, by the way.

You could put a Porsche in here, and I
have no doubt that you probably own one.

- Are you on something?
- Mm-hmm. I'm on adrenaline.

Between this trial and you, I have had a
man-hating week,

and I'd be a fool to waste it.

Why did you dump me? I demand to know.

This isn't funny, Ronnie.

I know. It's just the stuff
that comes out of you.

Makes me fall even more.

Wha--

Wha-- What do you mean fall even more?

- I just can't stop thinking about you.
- This is a trick.

It's not a trick. I've never met
anybody like you.

We've been on one date really,

and already I can see myself
falling in love.

Falling in--

Then why-- You said that you
didn't wanna see me anymore.

And that is not a normal thing to say for
somebody who's falling in love.

What is going on here?

Your favorite book,
Henderson the Rain King?

- Yeah?
- You identifying with Henderson,

the guy going around saying,
"I want, I want, I want. I want."

Yeah?

Well, that makes for an
interesting character, Ally.

And when you print your life story,

I'll be waiting on line at the bookstore.

But for a partner?
I don't know if I'd wanna sign up...

with the person who knows that she's gonna
be wanting forever.

Ronnie, I-I--

I was making conversation.
We were dancing.

I was just saying that so you would know
that I read books.

No, no.

That's just you all over, Ally.

The day you stop wanting
is the day you begin to die.

You-- You go through people.
You'll-You'll go through me.

- That is just-just-just so--
- True.

So what are you saying, that I'm the kind
of person that can never be happy?

I think you'll know
more happiness than most.

You just won't be content.

He's doing this on purpose.

Renee's right. There's probably a book of
rules for men, and he's read it.

So, um, are you saying this because you
want me to deny it,

to make me want you more?

'Cause it's working.

I'm saying this because
you are a great lady.

And I don't wanna spend my life
feeling overmatched.

That's the most flattering
thing anybody's ever said to me.

- You coward.
- Excuse me?

You want some Stepford girl with her own
little matching apron set? Fine.

She's waiting to rub your feet.
But if you want me, you got to go for it,

because I'm-I'm-I'm it.

- You said that?
- Yes.

Oh, no.

- I said it.
- Oh!

Oh, what? Is that too bold for you,

Ms. "Grab the Opposing Counsel's Butt"?

Oh, no.

- Georgia.
- Hey, honey.

Gonna be late?

Not too. We're just
going over the summation.

I gather.

Doing better?

Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks.

I'll, uh-- I'll be in my office.

Okay.

Hey.

What?

Okay, where do we start?

Hmm.

This morning on the elevator,

when we were both thinking about nothing,

my nothing was Cheanie.

- What was yours?
- Maybe this case.

What about this case?

I don't know.

I think for both of you,
this trial could be unsettling.

You both fall into the "pretty" category,
just like Barbara Cooker.

And it can be disconcerting to realize...

that suddenly everything you think you are
can just disappear with a wrinkle.

Thank you for clearing that up, Elaine.

Personally, from my standpoint,

I think you both have a lot more
going for you than looks.

This is the assistant
they give me to ease my day.

Yeah. It'd be a lot easier to laugh her
off if she wasn't a little on the mark.

We both get mileage out of our looks.

- And?
- It's temporary.

Are you afraid of getting older?

I'm afraid of growing out of what my
husband fell in love with.

At least partly.

Afraid of not measuring up to whatever my
senior partner saw in me.

- You don't really believe that.
- No.

No, I don't.

But I don't think Barbara Cooker
ever did either.

We've got to win this case.

For peace of mind, if nothing else.

Richard, I need a signa--

I spoke to Ronald Cheanie last night,
and I am wrought.

You're wrought?

He said there may be an intolerable
working relationship with this firm.

He said you squatted for the truth. Ally--

You can relax, cuz.

Ronnie called me this morning,

and we're going out on a date
tonight to see what if.

Well, that's wonderful.

I-- I'm-- I'm thrilled for you.

I knew you would be. I got to get to
court.

Ally. You were there
to help me with Whipper.

I'd like to give you something.

Love, it's an equation.

A "me," a "you" derives a "we."
It's really that simple.

I'll try to remember that.
What I'm saying...

is the foundation for any "we"
is a "me," and if the "me"...

is still a work in progress, then, for God
sakes, don't start constructing the "we."

What are you saying, Richard? I need work?

I say it because I care.

Oh! Parenting is nothing if not selfless.

That's a Fishism. Yes, it is.

Of course looks count.
Nobody's saying they don't.

She's an on-camera anchor.
Looks have to count.

And look. Look at her.

This is an attractive woman.

And the defendant admits-- admits--

was the finest journalist they had.

And they cut her loose 'cause not enough
people wanted to see her naked.

The justification? The public.

"America: The land of idiots."

People do read Entertainment Weekly.

I don't know.

What I do know is that we have a sampling
of the public right here in this jury box.

So you tell us.

They fired an Emmy Award-winning anchor...

on the premise that the public
is a bunch of idiots...

who would rather see Playboy models
covering

amputee transvestites kissing midgets.

Well, I'm sorry.

But if that's how they regard the public,

if that's what they think of you and
you and you and you and you,

well, then I guess we shouldn't be too
surprised

that they disregarded Barbara Cooker.

You're the public.

Be heard.

She didn't get fired for being old.

She was discharged because
she was no longer capable...

of performing the functions of her job.

Like it or not, in this day of remote
control and five zillion channels,

one function of the anchorwoman
is to be physically arresting,

pretty enough to make a channel
surfer stop right there and say, "Ooh."

There's only one word
to describe this guy.

The job's different today.
The job function is different.

As for the stuff he's saying--

It's a reality.

Do I like it? Am I happy
to be living in a world...

that prioritizes beauty over content?

Look at me.

I was the fat boy who had to take
his own sister to the prom.

And I bet he tried to cop a feel.

I'm the guy with the mustache,
because my friends told me...

the more face I could cover, the better.

But that's the real world,
in every walk of life.

Lawyers, journalists, secretaries,

pudgy teenagers looking
to get one lousy date.

Looks matter.

You wanna punish my client
for that reality,

I suppose you could.

But they're not responsible.

And you know that.

- Now what?
- We wait.

Any guess as to how long they'll be out?

Ladies.

Nice touch on the public bit.

Oh, thanks, Jack. The big fat prom boy
thing, that was good too.

It felt right.

Listen. The palms are getting sweaty on my
side. They're willing to offer four.

Four hundred?

No. Four dollars. Take it or leave it.

400,000?

Sealed. No admission of guilt.

Take it.

- Your offer is rejected.
- I beg your pardon?

Don't you have to ask her?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Did you want it? Say yes.

You think I should?

- No.
- What?

- Okay, yes.
- No.

What?

Your instincts said no.
I'm gonna go with that.

- My instincts?
- Mine too.

You're turning down $400,000?

Uh--

I can't believe it. How? How?

This has got to be more than this case is
worth. I'm-I'm just-- I'm--

Wrought.

I think the jury was with us.

Ally gave a great closing.
Billings was not sympathetic.

Ally, why are you looking so blue?

Because we turned down
so much on my instincts.

I have bad instincts.

That's not true. You were right about
Cheanie wanting to dump you.

Could I have a second alone
with Ally, please?

I'm very helpful in these situations.

Well, just the same.

Ally, it's not my style to care about
others, but what's going on?

What do you mean?

You just turn down an offer like that.

You've been personalizing this thing.
What is this about?

Do you ever, um, worry about winding up,

you know, alone?

I'm alone now, but I've got Whipper.

Is that some sort of Fishism?

Uh, sort of. Everybody's alone, Ally.

It's just easier to take
in a relationship.

Well, see, I don't believe that.

I believe that everybody
is half of a whole and that--

And I know it-it sounds kind of--
What's the word for it?

- Uh, silly?
- No.

No. Not silly
and-and-and not sorry either.

The people who just give into loneliness,
the people who just accept it,

those are the sorry ones.

The people who are strong,

who stand up for what they believe
in and chase their hearts,

those are the people
who end up like-- like...

Barbara Cooker.

Oh. Uh-huh.

I see this tough woman.

Smart, unflinching,

uncompromising,

unhappy.

Hey.

I was talking about
Barbara Cooker, not me.

I was not talking about me.
Who said anything about me?

I don't know.

Uhh.

Say something nice
about Cheanie, would you?

Hey.

Hey.

So Cheanie's back on.

I don't know if it's good or bad.

This guy has me so confused.

We go on a non-date, and he kisses me.

And then we go on a real date, and he
doesn't. He wants in one minute--

Do you want in?

Yeah.

Why do I feel unfaithful in saying that?

- You want my advice?
- Sure.

You've never let me down before.

If you want this guy
to stick around for a while,

if he goes to kiss you, kiss him back.

That's terrible advice.
What, put out or lose out?

- That's not what I mean.
- What do you mean?

I mean if memory serves me,

if you kiss him, he may not stay forever,

but he won't be running off quick.

A person isn't a good kisser, Billy.

It takes two to--

The jury's back.

I can always tell when something big
is about to happen.

Whether it's gonna be good or bad, I can
always tell.

I can always feel it coming on.

- Which is it gonna be?
- That I can't tell.

Has the jury reached its verdict?

- We have.
- What say you?

In the matter of Cooker vs. WKZN
Television, we find for the plaintiff...

and order the defendant to pay damages
in the amount of $930,000.

- Can you believe that?
- Ahh!

Does he love me I wanna know

One juror thought he stopped
short with the mustache

and he should've grown a beard.

It's not as good as getting my job back,
but as consolations go--

- Hey. Are we dancing?
- Absolutely.

- But first I have to pee.
- Oh, that is so romantic.

- It doesn't mean that I'm gay.
- Shut up.

Well, is it in his face

- Well, we did it.
- We did it.

You might get hired
by some other station now.

Maybe.

I wouldn't be surprised. I saw the news
coverage of the trial.

You were lit great in the courtroom.

Thank you.

Hey, Ally!

That's where it is Uh-oh.

What? Kiss him

And squeeze him tight

And find out what

Is it in his eyes

Oh, no You'll be deceived

I'm getting so healthy.

I can double-date with them.
My-My stomach doesn't hurt.

And I actually like who's dancing with me.

Who says I'll end up alone?

Or is it in his face

Oh, no It's just his charm

In his warm embrace

Oh, no That's just his arms

If you wanna know if he loves you so

It's in his kiss

Oh, it's in a kiss

You stinker!