All language subtitles for Ikke naken - The Color of Milk

THE COLOR OF MILK

I was my mother's personal natural disaster.

She died in my childbirth.

That's why I'm looking like a dead body.

It's not hard. Roll up your eyes.

You find the right pose, and then don't budge.

Then things are so still and look like...

well...just like Death.

I can stay like this as long as I want.

Whatever happens in the rest
of the summer, would just happen,...

but had already probably begun.

Before Elin, Ingun, and I...

played dead for the last time,...

Before we tried to see...

Andy and the others naked in the garage...

and long before he dragged me
under water and held me there.

Hey, Andy, check this out!

What are they up to?

Looks like they've croaked.

It's your wakeup call.

What's up?

- Well?
- Andy...

Never mind.

- I am the greatest!
- Maybe at playing dead.

But you'll never win the Nobel Peace Prize.

- Do we want to see who wins?
- That I don't know.

- I know what. Come on!
- No, let's not.

- Let's try to see them naked.
- No.

Let's not.

- You think that's fun.
- Yeah!

- Don't you want to see them stripped off?
- No.

- Why not?
- Well, I suppose we have to.

Everyone says that, of course.

- It's expected of us.
- And that makes it OK?

Well, yeah.

Let's transcend Nature and ignore them.

Well...

It's more difficult to ignore
the natural environment...

You bleeding?

Go take care of it.

Selma!

Faster, swim faster!

- Grab the ball, it's yours!
- Andy's the loser!

- You were just meant to beat him to it!
- No, I wanted to keep it.

- Got it?
- Is that true?

Here, this is for you.

What?

We decided that we're going to be interested in boys.

- When you become Andy's...
- Andy?

- Otherwise, Elin will get him.
- Pardon?

How's that? We've got no agreement!

We decided that we weren't interested in boys.

Never. As in "Never in my Life!".

And we took the direst oaths to that effect.

Come here, Otto.

- People? Men aren't people!
- Nora, come on!

- No, the car's mine.
- The car?

He doesn't own any cars.

Why can't we get pregnant without boffing them?

- Is this about the car?
- Oh, don't pay any attention!

Marriage is Richard's idea, not mine.

I never want to marry.

To begin with, Papa was tired.

It wasn't the first time he didn't get involved.

Every family has a black sheep --- ours is Nora.

Richard the fireman, whose child
she has, is more reasonable.

Richard?

Tell her she can go to Hell.

Well, he usually is.

Nora and Richard were typical.

This is why we only want Platonic contact with boys.

However, it's usually the same...

whether they cohabit or get married.

These people have serious problems,...

and are closer to death than they think.

We wanted to avoid risks.

- We're not interested, right?
- Right.

- Elin?
- Are you with us?

~Yeah.
- Good. Bye, then.

You know where the cream is?

- Hmmm...
- I can do it.

- Oops.
- No!

I did it the first time.

- Take off your wet clothing.
- Hey, Richard.

Hey, Selma.

- Hi, Richard. ~ Hi.
- Have a seat.

- Do you want a cup of coffee, or maybe something else?
- No thanks.

Here, buddy...

I'll have that, and some fruit juice.

Thanks.

Hi, Darling.

Hi.

Hello...

It's not that I don't want to marry you...

- OK.
- but as someone...

- I'll move.
- Do you hear that, Annelise?

- He threatens to move out.
- Yeah, but he doesn't mean it.

The keys?

- I threw them down the toilet.
- The toilet?

Lucky for me...

- Richard.
- No.

It was the car again.

Give me the keys. Hand them over. It's my car.

They also had other problems...

but not about wheels.

But as I saw it, it was still great entertainment.

- Want me to give you a lift?
- No.

- Go on back inside.
- Nora, he'll take you.

How can anyone be so stupid?

When you're looking for someone...

You meet someone who's against
shacking up, but you don't like him.

Yet you can't do without him.

Nora and I aren't related.

She's the sister of my stepmother, Annelise.

My father and I have accepted her.

I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

- But Karsten...
- You're going to the Moon, Dad?

Can I come?

Please!?

The Moon was Mama's special place.

Her dreams grew there...and they died there.

If you're talking about natural disasters...

I wasn't the only one in my Mom's life.

I had nothing to do with her getting pregnant.

I mean, it must have been romantic, right?

We don't often talk about the Moon...

not after what happened to Mom.

My late uncle used to graze cows
there during the summer...

and so did his sons...

Karsten and Peewee.

By the second day the milking
machine was already bollixed.

- Hi, Selma.
- Can you see to the washing?

- Dream on.
- If you'd be so kind.

No, it's beyond me, sorry.

Poor cows.

I didn't know...

Karsten and a friend from university were involved.

That guy --- the Swede.

Not that I thought he was anyone special...

but he WAS different.

Hello.

You know that milk came from the black cow?

It's pitch black.

Come check this out.

Drink.

Try it.

The milking machine predicts
the weather --- you hear that?

Your hands are filthy.

You'd think washing would appeal to you!

Mother Nature is wonderful yet baffling.

No, Nature is a terrorist. It attacks us!

Elin, if you'd be so kind?

- I need a doctor.
- For a bee sting?

- No, for my foot.
- Let's see. Sit down.

- So far as the knob...
- You mean "dickhead"?

Just what we need, modern sex education.

- That's for next year.
- That's too stupid.

That's too late for me --- I need it this summer.

This should help you control yourself.

- So tell me.
- No way.

- I'll read about it.
- No.

Let me read it.

About Elin.

"I've been smooching wildly with Andy."

Have you been kissing Andy, Elin?

- Is that true?
- Have you been making out?

- Traitor.
- Who's the traitor here?

- You broke your word.
- True.

Was it with your tongue?

Didn't you ever ever ever want to kiss someone?

No.

OK.

- Show us how.
- No.

That's your punishment.

No.

Everything OK?

You could help calm things down.

They're nice.

Richard.

Richard.

Selma, these are cold kisses.

Oh, God...

- Isn't this great?
- Yes, very.

Annelise!

- Wow, it's hot!
- Richard, open the door.

Come to Papa.

It might be black on the inside. Don't laugh.

Who says so?

It's milk. Milk is white.

- Have you ever thought about your hair style?
- No.

You should see your hair.

- Is this about puberty?
- Hello.

- Here, feel it again.
- This is just the thing for Selma.

- I'm not getting married!
- Give me a break!

Dream if you must, but you're
still not getting married.

Do you know how much 19 meters of silk costs?

- No.
- I'll buy 19 meters of silk, if...

- It'll cover your bust.
- Nora, please!

- Oh, really!
- Why are you in such a bad mood?

Or haven't you reached puberty?

I can kill a few people if no one else will.

Oh, Selma!

Everything seemed to...

be building up.

I really wanted to die. That's only natural.

The dead outnumber the living.

And compared to the living,
the dead may not be so badly off.

Maybe we could send someone to save you.

An angel, maybe?

If you listen.

Well?

- Have you been making out with Elin?
- Why would I do that?

Well?

And if I did, so what?

Wonderful, this is great!

Let's finish this up. But it's not the end of the show.

- My father doesn't like it.
- Mine, neither.

Yes, but you've still got a mother.

No, not really.

A flat.

- Maybe he annoys me for fun.
- Are you nuts?

Is it true that you can learn to like the plague?

Are you following me?

Maybe you'll like this?

Why should I?

You can keep it.

I've got another two.

Go fuck yourself.

Asshole!

Selma? Could you...

- Shit.
- Can you handle this little miracle? He's so intense!

- This is Nora's kid. Where's she?
- You can help out, not just hang around.

Why should I?

- Because it's Midsummer's Day tomorrow.

So what? It was the grimmest Midsummer's Day ever.

Everyone I knew seemed to have changed.

That's a real gem.

Maybe you were born on the wrong planet.

- Maybe --- if the Moon counts as a planet.
- So you're an extraterrestrial?

Yeah, from another world.

- I was born?
- Maybe not.

- You know what things are like.
- Is that good?

- She asked if it's good.
- I'm sorry?

If it seems promising, we work together.

He promises to control himself.

Andy...

- I knew it.
- What?

- In fact, Andy and I have an understanding.
- Really?

Isn't that Christensen's daughter?

- She's changed.
- She's 18.

- For the better?
- Yeah.

- Selma?
- Quite normal.

Christensen's daughter is cleverly average.

In any case women shouldn't be as old as their men.

- Or even older.
- Right.

Right. Do we want you to go?

If you have an agreement
with him, surely it's your move?

Come on, guys.

We'll hang out near them.

Come on.

Let's go.

You put 7 flowers under cushion
and dream of your future lover.

Will it work if they're already dead?

Haven't we been milling around them enough?

Can we trust them well enough not to?

Certainly not.

What are they up to now?

- We sit here and ignore them.
- Exactly.

- Can I join in?
- No.

I was fed up with Ingun and especially with Elin.

Couldn't they make out with someone besides Andy?

She was living a fantasy, and no one...

out of our class...

knew that better than me.

I had no one else.

Should I let my family distract me?

Did you hear what Selma learned today?

- Selma, what about your body?
- It's dazzling.

And it's so into development!

- Will this woman never shut up?
- Oh, Selma...

Nora can't stop talking.

Or she had a button which only said "on".

They can go on about nonsense forever, it seems.

- How late is it?
- Look for yourself.

The ladies are waiting for us.

Christensen's daughter Lila will be there, too.

- Christensen's little girl?
- Little is good.

- Them, too?
- No, just her.

- Yeah, just her.
- You're joking, right?

All alone on 400 square meters of beach without us.

OK, Richard?

What's this about the Christensen youngster?

- Have you seen her recently?
- Yeah, but keep it quiet.

A Swede who's lucky the Moon's not up.

What Swede?

Because if he was here,...

I don't think you saw him with Miss Christensen.

Who's that guy? Annelise,
have you got a Swede for yourself?

Well, Dear? Answer us.

Don't you already know him?
He says you study together.

Yeah. As I'm 19, I'd also like an academic career.

- An academic career, oh dear!
- Would you rather make...

- How hot is he?
- Why do you care about that?

- What now?
- Yes. Nora, what now?

What's going on between you and Mister Moon?

- Nothing.
- Where have you been?

You started it. What's going on
between you and Miss Christensen?

Sorry. Sorry.

It's not like that.

Nora. Nora.

- OK, I've had it...
- Richard!

- Who invented the car?
- Ford. ~ Henry Ford.

Things are terrible.

It all started so nice, but then...

Life is terrible, Selma.

But there's no escape.

Now everybody's happy!

Do you have a few painkillers?

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I'd donate my life to science.

- How do you donate?
- Your body?

I'll win the Nobel Prize.

You mean, you'll live your life as a scientist?

- Donate means giving away.
- Same thing.

- Hello?
- Can you see what I left out, Nora?

It's for you, Selma. It's Elin.

- I'm not here.
- She's not here.

Why should I have to answer when they won't?

Can't you hear the telephone?

Deal with it.

- This is Ingun.
- Say we're going away on holiday.

Man vanishes from the face of the Earth.

Within 100 million years
the Y-chromosome will die out.

Men as we know them will no longer exist.

We'll only have a few remains...

but we'll still have women.

Just as I thought --- there's something
deeply flawed with men.

Poor fools! They wouldn't expect that!

Maybe some of them should
be saved --- maybe one in five?

Those like the one at the Moon. He looks fit.

Maybe a few band members of Metallica.

Orlando Bloom.

The rest should be culled, like Andy.

It would be no loss to mankind
if he were to shrivel away.

I'll give you 100 Kroner for giving it to her.

She left her Aunt to live with her fireman. 150.

170.

OK.

200.

It's not worth 200 kroner.

Nora?

Nora?

Check this out.

- I got 200 kroner to do this.
- That's awful!

Where'd it go? Get it out of here!

Richard.

It'll have more of them. Take it away.

You know that many scientists fear
that the worst is yet to come?

- How will you go about it?
- Sex education.

There's a Nobel Prize in sex education?

Yeah, at least insofar as there are test-tube babies.

Clones have to come. The rest will go out of style.

You mean...?

No! Test-tube babies are the solution!

Then the baby will grow in a pressure cooker.

And you can leave it there
until you've got your life in order.

Nora and Richard could use something like that.

This might give children a more fun childhood.

And no one would die in childbirth.

Hi. Good to see you. Have a seat.

- We just ate. You want some watermelon?
- No thanks.

You were wonderful in the school gala.

- He read a poem.
- It was wonderful.

- You haven't gone on holiday yet?
- What were you thinking of doing?

- I love the summer in Norway.
- Someone said something about going abroad?

- But what do you want?
- What?

I'm just wondering what he's doing here.

Our different genders helped us start...

on the wrong foot.

We'd be better off as single-cell organisms.

Or the type that has many mates.

No sex, only breaking off parts.

How do you think it would be...

to be a single-cell organism?

Which of the two would I be when it split?

- No idea.
- Or would I simply die?

While two similar creatures
would both become of me.

- Two? Of you?
- Maybe even into threes...?

I like you better when you're not angry.

I was into it and I was playing well.

Why did I mess up the shot?

I should have gone the other way...

because I was the girl. Anyway, I saved it.

Penalty kick!

He's in.

Yeah, she got it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- He didn't score!
- Great save!

What a save! The crowd goes wild!

Shit!

From the canal!

- Who's going to clean him up?
- Me.

Poor boy, you're out.

- Knock it off!
- Hey...

The agreement was 200.

- It's not enough.
- We can sell the fish.

Sell something that you caught --- it's my fish!

If I have a clone with Andy,
would you still like me, Selma?

Of course. Give me some more of that.

Hi.

Hi.

- Jesus.
- Hello.

Hello.

- What have they got?
- Are they chasing us?

Typical women.

- OK. Let's head off.
- No.

Typical women.

Wait for me.

Hey...

Yeah?

What?

Could you repeat that?

What?

What you said.

Andy...

- What?
- God help me.

What would happen if you took a glass of water...

and dumped it into the ocean?

- Into the Pacific?
- Yeah.

What are the chances you'll
find the same molecules again?

- Minimal.
- You can bet on that.

You mean, like drinking one of those molecules?

Exactly.

Water molecules are very small
and constantly changing.

I've watered crops with water I've used myself.

Andy, try to think outside the envelope.

You drink water from where I have my crops.

So I have come to believe.

Oh, shit!

- Come on, arm up high.
- I don't want to. It's not my fault.

OK, already. Nora has found a world is full of snakes.

Andy, that's your fault.

You should have resisted temptation, but you didn't.

As a punishment you have to go
to this shit-inspired wedding

And wearing my stupid new dress.

- Fair enough.
- Come here.

OK.

Where?

Holy shit!

Right on a platter! Come on, boys!

- OK, men --- it's show time!
- Me first!

Let's kiss --- that's what they want.

You think they're here just to please themselves?

Who's next up?

Check it out.

Lille!

You're the missing link between Man and Ape.

How can I get laid if she always sticks her nose in?

Beats me.

I didn't know you were interested in such things.

We're not.

I mean, not really.

I understand if it's a bit of a letdown.

Something in that reptilian brain
sends him a message...

that girls with downcast eyes are our only hope.

Reptilian?

The instincts from when we were still reptiles.

Like lizards and snakes...or even rats!

Selma...

Let's go.

You want a career? What will you be?

- A Nobel Prize winner.
- I'm willing to bet that will pay well.

I might be able to stay within budget.

Andy, that's not for me.

- OK. Maybe you're too smart?
- No idea.

Maybe so.

You know you're just jelly-gunk inside?

- So...
- Kinky?

- Not hardly.
- But it's true?

- What?
- That you'll never fall in love.

Who says?

- Elin and the rest.
- I don't know.

- They're not really all that clever, are they?
- No.

But is it true?

I have myself under control.

Say that again.

I have myself under control.

Of everyone I know, you've got the most self-control.

I can't find it.

- Good to see you here.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Nice to see you.

Just a moment. Selma?

- Have you found the breadcrumbs?
- Not so loud...

- Do we have what we need?
- Yeah...

I don't think breadcrumbs are strictly necessary.

Let's just buy bread. OK?

We'll make our own breadcrumbs.

- Nora?
- Yeah,...

He wants to know where to get air for his tires.

Hi.

- You want a lift?
- No.

- Where are you headed?
- Nowhere.

We're still doing our shopping for the wedding.

- Hey!
- Why don't we hire a caterer?

- Later.
- Is that everything?

Well, I'm off.

What on Earth?

A bit cold, yes, but at least he didn't see me.

- Come on. Aren't we leaving?
- First let me pay.

Won't you say hello?

I'm glad to see you. Have you
settled the milk business?

It looks white, but it's really black.

On the inside.

Have you found the air hose yet?

You know each other, don't you?

Selma. It's sweet. Isn't it sweet?

You don't know how it looks
when you're so out of it.

But you'll figure out all these
little tricks between men and women.

Let's go.

Think about it, Selma. Until next time.

- Next time?
- Yeah.

Hey, what was all that about?

What did he mean?

Milk.

Hi.

Hi.

- You slept for 17 hours.
- Maybe I needed it.

What's up, Selma?

Papa, you've got to start going to the barber's.

- You look like a total doofus.
- Selma...

I love you.

Just like the rest of us.

What do I get from you, if not the answer?

- About the milk?
- It's not white.

Maybe the Princess.

Half the kingdom, and all that sort of nonsense.

- It feels like a miracle.
- OK.

Andy, I know what we'll talk about today.

Odors in the form of a gas.

- They've got mass?
- No idea.

They can be weighed?

- In that case, they can exert a force.
- Yeah.

Some gasses can even kill.

So why shouldn't some gasses
bring the dead back to life?

Turn off the light.

It looks dark --- kind of green.

We've got to talk about this.

Is birth or death the crucial moment of our life?

Maybe either birth or death.

Or maybe something else entirely.

I like these extremely deep discussions.

You help me understand things.

I can think more clearly with you.

Things are as clear as they have ever been.

Do I have that effect on you?

Don't I have an effect on you?

Strange. You influence my intellectual development.

- Intellectual development?
- Yeah!

Nothing else?

- Like what?
- I don't know...

- Maybe your ordinary development?
- Andy! Are you talking about my body?

Don't go there!

- Stop that.
- Do it again.

What?

What? Turn and look at me. That's it.

Idiot!

What are you up to now? Come on, Selma.

- You know what?
- What?

You know what I am?

Lucky.

Aren't you?

Do you want to talk about the Big Bang?

Selma, I think it's been solved.

What?

Say it, or I'll get up and go away.

There can be no light there,...

so it was all black. Like milk.

Andy!

Come here.

- Andy! Aren't you coming?
- Andy.

Move it!

- What's that?
- Shhh.

Get down.

She's grabbed his knob.

I can't stand it...

Down!

Shit. My cousin.

Were you getting an eyeful?

We were watching, and we saw it all.

I'm going now.

Feeble!

You're mine, Snot-noses!

No.

- But it's quite natural.
- Pull the other one.

I'm better informed than most people.

What you all were doing
had nothing to do with Nature.

- Oh, really?
- It's nonsense.

I though we were an item.

That was a misunderstanding.

You can take it as read that we're through.

You can be sure we weren't together
and we never will be!

You can't misunderstand that, unless you're deaf!

Fine.

By the way, I never gave you
much scientific information.

- As if you did?
- Yeah. I was good at it, right?

- It's for me.
- Hello? Yes, OK.

- It's Nora.
- I know, take out a table.

Always 40 degrees.

Since the incident with the snake,
Richard has been wonderful.

All women should have snakes
in their laundry rooms.

Did you invite Andy to the wedding reception?

You know I don't want to talk about it.

There's someone else.

I've got another friend.

Me too.

I don't know who you're talking about.

- Annelise says you're sad about something.
- Sad?

No.

I can't imagine what you're talking about.

Really?

It's awful, Papa, awful.

Like I always said.

It's just dumb.

Is it something I did?

Why not use a hammer and nails?
Maybe you've got the wrong genes.

Maybe your female gene is flawed.

You mean the capacity for sewing
is in the X-chromosome?

Hi, Darling.

- Where are you headed?
- Nowhere.

I always thought I had it right.

I'd never get married...

or anything like that. I wasn't meant for love.

But that wasn't the problem.

Others might have thought that was it --- but no.

- Karsten.
- Hey.

- Can you come help?
- Should we invite him to the reception?

It's not unusual for people like him
to come. He'd love an invite.

- Who?
- That Swede of the Moon. ~ What?

He's going back to Sweden tomorrow.

He's packed his bags for tomorrow
after the ceremony.

He'd love your cake.

He's going back to Sweden. I'm going, too.

It was a sign.

Why should baggage hold us back?

This was a sign.

And not only that, you're putting on weight.

I'd be spared all this nonsense.

What a terrible world...

where I could never fit in.

They needed a well-deserved punishment.

They'd regret all their foul deeds!

Everybody.

But my salvation was near --- it's true what they say.

The rescue is at the end, or it's not a real rescue.

You can recognize a real rescue
because it comes at the end.

We got married.

Just one more photograph.

We think we've changed.

We'll no longer be interested in them.

We want to restore our agreement.

- Can we do that?
- No.

- It's kind of late.
- That's what I thought.

You've already seen a naked man?

That's exactly why.

Bye.

And then came Nora...

It's surprising how long a speech can take.

And Karsten did all credit to his reputation
with a member of Richard's family.

Nora is now the only woman...

I once said that I wanted
someone like a Greek goddess.

- That was new.
- Maybe he exaggerated.

Ask a man what he wants and he'll say: a woman.

But how should it be?

They must be fun and like...

a sense of humor.

They should welcome their husbands
with open arms...

and naturally provide a few well-fed children.

They must keep the house serene, do the cooking,
and mind the fish and footballs.

They should also be good.

Nora...

You're very very good.

I've got my goddess. On other matters...

in other matters I haven't been made aware of...

I'm thankful for that.

This is because we learn through fighting.

Only through struggle do you become a better man.

"It's not through peace that you will achieve Heaven."

That's how it is, Dear. We're agreed on that.

In my whole life, you've never given
me a moment's peace, Nora.

You outpaced me in the constant glory of your love.

You taught me of real love ---
love with grief and needs...

and deep passions for the two...

in the dark.

I love you.

- Nora, calm down.
- I'm totally wiped out.

- Now what?
- Give me the kid.

God, she's sweet. So incredibly sweet.

Hello?

- When will you head off?
- No idea.

I think...

they knew at once what Karsten had done.

Or would have liked to do with
Miss Christensen at the beach.

I could tell her but that would be
the end of her for Karsten.

Of course, he had his cows in the back of his mind.

I wouldn't be so sure of Karsten.

He's got a slippery rep.

- He's my nephew.
- And?

Well?!

Are you asleep, Selma? Can you even sleep?

She's asleep.

It's time we left.

Come on, we're going.

- Did we wake you up?
- Take your luggage outside.

You can get in the car.

The trunk's open, so you can stash the bags.

It was a deplorable incident on the beach
--- with your nephew.

It's not always easy to know...

who's first, or best, or another.

You can't decide, and it gets complicated.

But I couldn't have both...

Not at the same time.

You know what I mean?

OK.

No.

These are my things.

OK.

Bye.

It's black on the inside.

Because there's no light inside. That's why.

- You only just learned that?
- No.

I figured that out together...

with someone else.

Well done.

Even though I'm leaving...

We still have a special place, Selma. The Moon.

I know what they think of you. It's your legacy.

Now I'm on my way,...

and I'm sure that everything will be fine.

It's no fun to realize that you're...

just like everyone else.

But I guess things could be worse.

You had the shortest haircut!

Call him.

Do you have...

- something you want to share with us?
- No.

- So everything's cool?
- Yeah.

Good.

I think...

I still think it's a good idea.

- Hello?
- Andy?

Have you been making out with Elin?

Yes.

OK.

I thought I'd heard you say...

that you don't always know what's best for you.

Not right away, anyway.

Are we back together?

- Is there something you want to say?
- I'm glad.

But...

What if you die?

What if I die?

Then I'll die with you.

Maybe it's not birth...

or death which is the most crucial...

step in life.

Maybe love is, instead.

Of all the natural disasters, it's the greatest.

And the best.