All language subtitles for Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - 2x10 - Shgoratchx!.DVD.en

Admiral, I am ready to leave
on patrol:

Good morning, Hawk:
We've picked up something very interesting:

Looks like a derelict ship
immobilized in Sector 5:
We're closing now:

She's coming into view, sir:

[Gasps]
It looks like a refugee
from the interstellar junkyard:

[Hawk]
And drifting into the freight lanes:

[Asimov]
I've sent Crichton down to see
if Buck wants to check it out:

I'd like for you to postpone
your patrol and join him:

I shall prepare the shuttle:
Good:

If you're going to wake Captain Rogers,
do it gently, do you understand?
Will you, Crichton?

He's been on his feet
for almost two days: : :

Before he went to bed
less than two hours ago:

Oh, very well, Doctor:

What an irritation it must be
to you humans: : :

To be required to spend
one-third of your life span: : :

In a comatose condition:

It predicates a hopelessly
inadequate basic design:

Yes, yes, yes:
Thank you very much, dear boy:

We've been over all this before, haven't we?

Do go and wake the captain, will you?
That's a good fellow:

You are Goodfellow, Doctor,
not l:

Heavens above,
I think he made a joke:
[Chuckles]

Oh, dear:
How depressing:

Now hear this!

Your presence is requested
on the hangar deck:

Let us put a stop
to this goldbricking:

"Goldbricking"?

A quaint expression from the century
which spawned you, Captain:

A perfectly dreadful century,
I might add,

highlighted by wars,
women's lib and the holocaust:

Leave me alone, will ya?
I haven't had any sleep for three days:

It was you, Captain,
who asked to be alerted: : :

If anything untoward happened:

I cannot be responsible: : :

For your physical
or emotional state, Captain:

Your presence is awaited
in the launch bay:

One of these days:

One of these days:

What's going on, Hawk?
A derelict vessel
in the shipping lanes: : :

With the possibility
of life-forms aboard:
Mmm:

What's he doing here?

Crichton is here,
as usual,

to fill the gaps
of human ignorance:

Crichton, one of these days,
you're gonna say: : :

The wrong thing at the wrong time
to the right person:

They're gonna turn your knob:
You know what I mean?

Knob? Knob?
I have no knobs:

Well, you get into the ship right now,
or I'll show you you have knobs
in the most unexpected places:

- Move:
- Oh, very well, Captain:

[Buck]
The admiral was right: It's the worst
pile ofjunk I've ever seen:

[Hawk]
It is hard to believe
it has held together in such a state:

[Buck]
No marking or insignia of any kind
to indicate where it's from either:

[Man Narrating]
In the year 1987,

NASA launched the last
of America's deep space probes:

Aboard this compact starship,

a lone astronaut,
Captain William "Buck'"Rogers,

was to experience cosmic forces
beyond all comprehension:

In a freak mishap,
his life-support systems were frozen: : :

By temperatures beyond imagination:

Ranger 3 was blown out
of its planned trajectory: : :

Into an orbit 1,000 times more vast,

an orbit which was to return
Buck Rogers to Earth: : :

500 years later:

Incredible:
If there is life in here,
I'm not sure I want to meet it:

Not if it's as old
as this ship seems to be:

It is very quiet:

Surely you're aware that "quiet"
is a relative concept:

Well, then be quiet, do your job
and scan for life-forms, Crichton:

[Creaking]

There are life-forms
of an inferior species aboard:

How inferior?
Warm-blooded, like humans:

Now, that's funny, Crichton:
Really funny:

You mind finding them for us?
Unnecessary:

The life-forms have already found us:

[All Shouting In Alien Dialect]

[Shouting Continues]

Translation:

If the language resembled
any reasonable tongue
known in this galaxy, I would oblige:

Unfortunately, it doesn't:

Crichton, establish
some kind of communication:

It is unnecessary
to establish communication:

They are already established:

We only speak Zeerdonian
when irritated:

Oh, well,
that's-that's good to know:

Um, my name
is Captain Buck Rogers:

This is Hawk:
We're from the Earth ship Searcher:

And we're from Zeerdonia:
I am General Xces:

- I am General Zoman:
- I am General Yoomak:

- I'm General Sothoz:
- I'm General Kuzan:

- I am General Towtuk:
- And who are you?

I am Private Zedht:

Hmm:

- Six chiefs and one Indian:
- What is Indian?

Um, your private here:

Exactly:
We give orders, he takes orders:

Is that, uh, not confusing?

It's not confusing:
He never obeys:

If he does not obey,

what good does it do
giving him orders?

What good is it to be a general
if you don't have someone to give orders to?

Are you ready to give up?

- We wish to know why you attacked us:!
- Yes, yes!
- We want a reason!

Hold on:
We didn't attack you:

We thought you were a derelict:
You were adrift in a shipping lane:
You could cause an accident:

Boarding without permission
is an attack to Zeerdonians!

Yes, yes, yes!
You are indeed fortunate
that our weapons didn't function:

- How did that happen?
- We don't know:

They functioned perfectly
when the Sarlons came aboard
to pirate our cargo:

- That was a long time ago:
- A very long time:

- Before our energy cells imploded:
- That is why you are drifting?

Yes: But someday,
we'll repair the damages:

After all, we've only been adrift for about...

- 200 years:
- 300!

- Or more:
- Doesn't matter!
What matters is we complete our mission:

Yes, indeed:
Complete the mission:
Finish the job!

- Serve the queen!
- Do or die!

Raise the flag:!
What exactly is your mission?

We are under orders to proceed
to the distant side of star Sitof 43
and dispose of our cargo:

If it's of any importance,

Sitof 43 is a bomb disposal star:

Wonderful:

I'm almost afraid to ask you
what your cargo is:

Don't be afraid: They aren't:
Our cargo is solar bombs:

Solar bombs? How many?

Only 1,000:

That's enough to radioactivate
this entire area: : :

For over 50 million years:

General, uh, where are they?

All over:

Some are here,
safe and somewhat sound:

Somewhat sound?
Crichton, check 'em out:

Extremely unstable:

Exceptionally volatile:

The deterioration rate is accelerating:

Of course:
Our stabilizing system destabilized
when we lost our energy:

Yes, well, we'll set up a magnet beam
and take you on to Sitof 43:

In the meantime, I'm sure that our commander
would be more than happy
to welcome you aboard our ship:

Good: We accept:
[All Shouting In Agreement]

I have never quite seen
anything like them:

I have: I used to hang out with
a very pretty lady named Snow White:
Hmm?

What a ship!
What a stupendous ship!

What a magnificent ship!
What a stupendous,
magnificent ship!

This is unbelievable!
It's incredible!

- Take notes on the ship, Private:
- Yes, sir!

[Hawk]
I must go on patrol:

I leave our charming guests
entirely in your hands:

[Chuckles]
Thanks a lot:

I'm hungry!
Yes, hungry:

Famished!
Very famished!

Ravenous!
Starving!

Food!
Yes, yes, yes!

Crichton, would you go set up
the relay coordinates
for the magnetic tow, please?

As you wish:

Come on, gentlemen:
I'll see what I can do:

Yes, yes, yes!

Engagement complete and locked:

Our forward velocity must not exceed
three-quarters speed:

Well, why not?
If we go to plasma drive,

we'll make it to Sitof 43
a lot sooner:

The destabilizing solar bombs
aboard the Zeerdonian vessel: : :

Cannot withstand the increase
in kinetic energy: : :

Which accompanies transfer
to plasma drive:

He means it's risky:
[Chuckles]

Yes, yes, that's quite right, Twiki:

He does need a bit of translating
now and again, doesn't he?

Most impressive!
Lots of pretty lights!

If only we had a bridge like this!
We would be the envy
of the Zeerdonian fleet!

Wilma, Dr: Goodfellow, Admiral,

may I present General Xces
and his crew:
We're not crew! He's crew!

- I'm the crew:
- [All] We're generals!

Yeah, well, at any rate,
I'm gonna try and get some sleep:

If you'll excuse me,
I'll see you later:

Look at this:!
Yes, look:!

Gentlemen, gentlemen, what a pleasure...
what a surprise:

We've got lots to talk about,
and the nicest...

Oh!
What can I do
for you gentlemen?

- What are you?
- Uh, well, I'm Colonel Wilma Deering:

No, not rank:
What are you?

I think what they're trying
to find out is, my dear,
what kind of animal you are:

I'm a woman:
That's what:

Woman?

- What is woman?
- What you're looking at:
A-A female:

She's no female:
Couldn't be:

- Look, she's got bumps:
- Yes, bumps:!

[Towtuk]
Pretty bumps:!
Uh, well, you'll have to excuse me:

I'll arrange for your quarters:

She's like no female I ever saw:

And if you'd excuse me,
I've got a few things to take care of:

How does this work?
Look at all those numbers!

[Asimov]
See here... Wait a minute!

Astounding:!
Most impressive:!

I wouldn't mind workin' on this!
Hey, look!

An audio-sensitizer energy control!
I heard of these once:

- Don't touch that control!
- This control?

[Crichton]
Help:! Help:! Help:!

[Man Over P: A:]
Emergency:! Emergency:!
All hands to quarters:! All hands to quarters:!

Oh, my! Crichton's hurt:
Somebody help him, please:

The logarithmic function
of a parametric equation: : :

Is inversely proportional to the...
to the 10th power:

- Admiral! Crichton!
- [Crichton]
Truth is an extract of the abstract:

[Babbles, Indistinct]
What happened?

One of the generals
began playing with the controls:

Spearshake was
a merchant of vendors:
Check for damages, Colonel:

[Crichton]
Ilia was a lamb chop:

Mary had a little lamb:
What happened here?

[Twiki]
He hurt his head: He's dented:!

And everywhere that Mary foaled,
the lamb was...

lamb was...
You guys, grab him:

Take him down
to Dr: Goodfellow's lab:
Lamb was...

Mary glow:

Mary glow?
Mary glow:

Lamb was...

- What is a lamb?
- What's a Mary?

Who's "Glow"?

How about it, Doctor?
Is the damage irreparable?

[Sighs]
Looks quite serious, I'm afraid:

It appears that
the impact of the fall: : :

Has created a depression
in the positronic cortex:

Will he be all right?

Oh, Twiki, I don't know,
but I'll do my best:

You can fix him:
I know you can:

Dear me, there's a dent in the cortex,
as I feared:

It's quite a massive trauma:
Mmm, mmm, mmm:

I'll have to remove the brain
for further examination:

Take out his brain?
That's terrible!

Now, Twiki,
let's not jump to conclusions:

The positronic brain's
a pretty durable apparatus:

And yours has been functioning
very well
and for a very long time, Twiki:

Yes, but nobody ever put
a dent in my cortex:

There, there, there:
Now, then, I'll tell you what I'll do:

I'll run an analysis and have
a prognosis in a few minutes:

Attention, all personnel:
The Zeerdonian visitors
have disappeared from the control room:

- Please advise:
- What do you mean, disappeared?

We were monitoring the magnetic grid
and just took our eyes off'em for a minute:

- We turned around and they were gone:
- Well, they couldn't have left the ship:
They must be somewhere:

The only place where
visual scanners are nonfunctional
is the magnetic power plant:

[Mutters]

Wonderful!
Magnificent!

Have you ever seen
anything like this before?

I hope all of you
are absorbing what you see:

This equipment
is far superior to ours:

No wonder:
Ours is 2,000 years old:

Yes, yes: And if we bring back
samples of this transferral system,

we'll be decorated as heroes:

Take notes, Private Zedht:
You bet!

- I think their energizing patterns
are behind this panel:
- Yes, let's see:

- Oh, look at that:!
- That's interesting:!
- Don't!

[Zeerdonians Laughing, Clamoring]

What the devil's going on here?

Emergency power synthesizers:
All stations, report damage:

[Laughing, Clamoring Continues]

What are you trying to do,
kill yourselves?

How can we be killed
by something as harmless as that?

Harmless?
You could've gotten us all killed!
Not us!

That's right!
We are naturally...

Grounded! Aren't you?

[Wilma]
Grounded? You mean
electricity doesn't hurt you?

[Man Over P: A:]
Now hear this:
Power failure: Collision imminent:

I repeat: Collision imminent:
All crew to stations:
Secure for impact:

I've gotta get to the bridge:
Good luck:

[All Laughing]

Quiet down! Quiet!
Enough!

[Buck]
What a mess:

Can we help, Captain Rogers?
[All Clamoring]

No, you can't help... Hold it!
You've been helpful enough:
Just stay put:

Buck, whatever happened down there
shorted out the tractor beam controls:

They're locked,
and the power flow's increasing:

I'm going to have Dr: Goodfellow join you:
Perhaps he can help repair the damage:

Admiral, the tractor beam's
pulling the Zeerdonian ship
right into our aft section:

How long until impact?
Less than seven minutes:

Activate deflector shields:
Go to plasma drive:

Admiral,
the solar bombs will explode:

I don't think
that'll make much difference, Colonel:

[Buck]
Looks like electronic spaghetti to me:
[Chuckles]

Strange beings:
They get upset over nothing:

Yes, strange: They take the long way
around every problem, don't they?

Reminds me of generals:

Present company excepted, of course:

I must take it upon myself
to redesign these systems
one of these days:

They're almost im...
Oh, good heavens!

I found the little culprit:
Look, look, look:

You found it?
Yes, indeed:

The transducer wire has melted...
melted clean away:

See? Look at that:
Look at that: Can you see it?
Yeah, well, I see it, Doctor:

The problem is that in about two minutes,
we're gonna collide with a ship: : :

Loaded with unstable solar bombs:

- What can we do about it?
- Oh, dear: I don't quite know:

I mean, we need jumper cables
or splicers or something,

and I'm afraid there isn't time:

Wait a minute:
Wait a minute:

You guys were all volunteering to help
a little while ago, weren't you?

- Yes:
- Let us help:
- We're good helpers:

We're excellent helpers:
We like to help:

Doctor, I, uh...
I think I may have found our jumper:

It's not quite a cable, perhaps,
but, uh...

All right, which one of you
wants to volunteer?

Generals don't act as jumper cables:
Private Zedht, step forward and volunteer:

Yes, do your duty:!
Yes, sir!

Whoa! No, no:

Thank you for volunteering, Private:
Step right this way:

Grab a hold of those two wires:

I was getting around to it, Captain:

So, get:

- This is fun!
- I wish I'd volunteered:!

Me too:!
He's having too much fun:!

Generals are supposed to have fun:!
Admiral, we have power now:
Unlock the retractor beam:

We need somebody down here
to splice a cable:

Right away, Buck:

We made it:

Lieutenant Martin,
reduce speed to warp three:

Reestablish magnetic stabilizers:

Yes, sir:

Twiki, why don't we see
how Crichton's doing?

Oh, yes, please:

It's funny:
Now's the first time: : :

Crichton ever needed us:

- Am I through yet?
- Not until that cable's spliced:

Wilson, just in time:
Did you bring everything?

Yes, sir, Captain Rogers:

As soon as you're free, Private Zedht,
I'd love to talk to you, if I may:

I have so many questions
I'd like to ask you:

I think I spark to that, Doctor:

That's a pun:!
Very good pun:!

An excellent pun:
I think we may create: : :

Some truly electrifying moments together:

Dr: Goodfellow, um,

weren't you working on Crichton's brain
before all this happened?

Oh, good heavens! Of course I was:
How could I have possibly forgotten?

Dear me, I must get back immediately:

You'll forgive me, of course:

Doctor?
I'm not sure
anything can be done,

but I'll... I'll do my best:

Come on, Twiki:
We're not giving up hope:

I'll look in on you later, okay?

Thank you:

[All Clamoring]

Wilma!
Gentlemen, please:

Please, please, please:

Wilma, I've just spoken to the admiral,
and he says that from now on,

the Zeerdonians are to be
your personal responsibility:

He asked that you try
to keep them out of trouble:

Me? Uh, has it occurred
to our admiral: : :

That their interest in me
is slightly more than casual?

Yes, well,
I wouldn't know about that:

In any case, I intend to get some sleep
if it kills me:

And the Zeerdonians are all yours:

[Nervous Chuckle]
Thanks:

Gentlemen, I would ask you please
to consider yourselves guests
aboard this ship, not crew:

Don't: : : Touch: : : Anything:

Guests do as they please:
What a great idea!

We're all yours!
Show us the rest of the ship!

What's for dinner?
Yeah, what's for dinner?

[All Clamoring]

Just go straight ahead,
gentlemen:

Hey, look at this!
Wow!

[All Clamoring]

Gentlemen,
can I have your attention, please?
What? What?

From here on,
I'd like you to read, relax...

Do whatever it is you do,
but here you must stay: : :

Until this ship returns to some sort
of normal business routine, all right?

Okay: Thank you:

Does that tell ya how to fix Crichton?
No:

Afraid not, Twiki: Unfortunately,
for all its advantages, you know,

the positronic brain has one fault:

Once something really serious happens to it,
no way we know of repairing it:

Will Crichton be consigned
to the compactor for recycling?
No:

We'll simply install a new brain
when we reach the base:

But it won't be Crichton:

No, Twiki, it won't be Crichton:

I'm sorry I was cross with you, son:

Dr: Goodfellow
did let me help to make you:

What do we do now then?
I'm bored:

So am l:
Let's find something to do:

And something to eat:
Yeah, something to eat:

Well, let's get un-bored!
Come on!
Yeah!

Humans are very gullible:
Everybody, think about the lock:

Off-think:! Off-think:!
Off-think:! Off-think:! Off-think:!

Off-think:! Off-think:! Off-think:!

Yeah!
Hey!

Whatever! We're guests!
Guests do what they want:

Private Zedht, lead the way:
Of course:

After you, General:
Thank you:

[All Laughing]

This is Colonel Deering:
Entering asteroid belt A-64:
Secure stations:

Deflector shields engaged:
Out:

[Groaning]

Ow!
What...

Private Zedht,
what are you doing in my bunk?

Trying to get some sleep:

Everybody on this ship
is always running around in a dither:

Doesn't anybody ever sleep?

My friend, I have been trying
to get some sleep: : :

Since long before
you and your peripatetic generals got here:

I haven't closed my eyes
in over 50 hours:

Now, what is it with you guys anyway?
You're worse than
the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Can't you stay out of trouble
for more than five minutes?

I can:
Generals can't:

It's in the nature of generals
to create havoc:

You can say that again:

- It's in the nature of generals...
- All right, all right, all right:

Hey, wait a minute:
Wait a minute:

I thought that Colonel Deering
had locked all you guys up
in the lounge for safekeeping:

- How'd you get out?
- We walked:

You did what?

We walked:
What do you mean, you walked?
You couldn't have:

It's impossible: It's an electronic lock:
It's foolproof:

Foolproof?
Nothing is foolproof to Zeerdonians:

We think things as we want them to be,
and they happen:

I don't understand:

We off-think locks and lids
and belts and catches:

We on-think
even better than we off-think:

Are you telling me that all you have to do
is think about something
and it happens?

You mean humans can't do
these elementary things?

No, we can't:
You see, we don't consider: : :

Unlocking a door by thinking about it
elementary:

It's easy if you know how:
Off-think:

See?

That's a...
That's a nice trick:

[Alarm Blaring]
[Man Over P: A:]
Battle stations:! Battle stations:!

Battle stations?
Keep your shirt on:

My shirt is on!

L-l... Stay put, all right?

I'll put on some clothes,
and then we'll see what's going on,
all right?

Whatever you say, Captain:

Why is it I have a feeling
I'd be better off
if they'd all been asleep in my bunk?

What's the meaning of this?
I gave no orders for firing:
Now, who's responsible?

I don't know, Admiral:
Someone is manually controlling the lasers
from the main weapons bay:

I guarantee we all know
who that someone is:

How did they get out of that lounge?

I'll do whatever I can, Admiral:

Sorry:
I really did lock them up:

I know, I know:
I'll tell you about it later:

Good shooting!
I got one too!

I got another one:!
Magnificent shooting:!

Better than that:!
It's perfect:!

I'm gonna go for double!
Isn't this fun?

[All Laughing]

Cease this insanity at once!
At once!

The defense shield is down!

It's too late:!
Hold on:!

Are all of you crazy?
Of course not:

We were just having fun:
Don't you people know better
than to play with these weapons?

You realize those lasers are effective
at over 40,000 grids?

What if you had had a ricochet
off one of the asteroids
and it hit your own ship?

We never had a ricochet:

On Zeerdonia, we used to
practice like this all the time:
[Man Over P: A:] Emergency:!

Emergency:!
Captain Rogers to the bridge, please:

Try and do something with them, hmm?

Oh, thanks a lot:
Even if you have to tie them up:

Tie us up?
Why would you wanna tie us up?
We were only having fun:

Uh...

The bunch of you
are acting like little children:

How old are you anyway?
Old:

Very old:
Very, very old:

A thousand years:
Or more:

More than a thousand years old?
[All]
At least!

[Chuckles]
Well, do you have children?

- Oh, yeah:
- We do:
- Sometimes:

- In a way:
- Well, then you have wives
waiting for you at home:

What's a "wive"?

Uh, a female:
A-A woman, like me:

No, no wives:

No females like you:

[Nervous Chuckle]

But... Wait:
You said you had children: How?

- We attend:
- The queen:
- When she calls:

- If we hear:
- She hasn't called:
- In a long time:

She will:
Oh, yes, she will:

Well, then,
your-your queen bears your children:

No:
She lays eggs:

- Eggs?
- Many eggs:
- Seven eggs:

- Us, in a shell:
- In a shell?

- In a shell:
- But how do you...

[Chuckles]
Oh, no:

Oh, no, no, no, no:
I'm not gonna get into that one:
I'm going to the bridge:

- And I certainly hope the lot of you
will behave yourselves:
- [Beeps]

How did you do that?

Uh...
[Nervous Chuckle]

What are you doing?
We must settle a question:

Settle a-a question?
About a woman:

Yes: What is a woman?

Oh, well, now, just a minute, all of you:
[Yoomak]
You claim to be a female:

That is an impossibility:

[Xces]
No female looks like you:
[Zedht] Correction:

- No female looks as good as you:
- Certainly not our queen:

- She hasn't got bumps:
- We must examine you:

Examine? Now, wait a minute:
What are you talking about?

- Begin the off-think:
- "Off-think"?

- Off-think! Off-think!
- You must be completely mad:

- Off-think!
- [Yells]

Now, gentlemen:
Gentlemen...
Off-think!

Off-think:! Off-think:! Off-think:!

Now, wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Wait a minute: Wait a minute:

Now, how dare you!
We must examine:

- For science:
- No, no: Not on your life:

It's all right:
General Yoomak is a doctor:

Off-think! Off-think! Off-think!

Off-think:! Off-think:!
Off-think:! Off-think:!

There it is:

The impact threw both
the main and backup gyros
out of equilibrium:

And now, we're heading straight
for the seventh sun of Khyphotak:

It's hard to believe
that such a small asteroid hit
could cause so much damage:

We can't reverse power or direction?

We tried overpowering
the gyros hydraulically: : :

And shorted out
the entire control system,
including the leads to the power plant:

Meaning we have
no internal communications, huh?

That's the picture:
Not very pretty, is it?

No, it isn't:

I'm gonna round up Wilma
and go find Dr: Goodfellow:

I don't know what he can do,
but he seems to be our last and best hope:

[Wilma Screams]
Whoa:! Stop it:!

You're out of your heads:!
Stop it:!

Stop this instant!
What's she so upset about?

Stop!
Maybe she has a blemish
she doesn't want us to see:

Wejust wanna check it out:
Gentlemen:! Gentlemen...

[Chattering Continues]

What is going on in here?

They're-They're madmen:

Absolutely insane:
Lot of help you were, Captain:

You could've made it
a little sooner:

All right, all of you
in a group together behind me:

I don't want you any more
than a step behind me:

You understand?

We'd be delighted, Captain Rogers:
We like you:

Almost as much
as we like Colonel Deering:

No problem, dear boy,
if we had time:

But unfortunately,
to reach the affected areas,
it would be necessary: : :

To tear down the entire control panel:

That would take, I would say,
at least four hours:

Which we don't have,
since we're due to impact: : :

The seventh sun of Khyphotak
in less than two:

Does anybody know
what's going on around here?

It doesn't make any sense:
It must make sense,
just not good sense:

There's gotta be another way
to fix those leads:

That type of repair capability
was built into Crichton's construction: : :

For just such an emergency:

But with the poor fellow
being hors de combat,
I'm afraid we're as good as lost:

I can make Crichton function:
What did you say?
I beg your pardon?

I can make him work:

I have a positronic brain too:

Oh, I know it's not as good as Crichton's:
He keeps telling me that:
But it might work:

What are you suggesting, Twiki?

Well, Dr: Goodfellow
could take my brain: : :

And put it in Crichton's body:

Then I could make his extensors work,
and the ship could be fixed:

Bless my soul:
What an extraordinary idea:

How very brave of you, Twiki,
to suggest it:

I am a robot,
and by the first law of robotics,

a robot may not permit a human being
to come to harm if he can prevent it:

You are all in danger:
I must help:

Forgive me, Twiki:
Forgive me saying this,

but Crichton's rather
a more sophisticated robot than you:

His more complex circuits
might very well do irreparable damage
to your little brain:

Then there'll be no more Twiki:

The alternative is no more you,
no more any of us:

There's not much time left, Doctor:
We gotta get started:

Buck, what do you say?

Well, Doc, I'm afraid that
Twiki's come up with
the only possible solution:

[Sighs]
Well, my friend, Crichton may be
more sophisticated than you are,

but when it comes to guts,
you got him beat hands down:

Says you:
I'm quaking in my boots:

Come on, Doc:

Are you ready, Twiki?

I'm ready:

You'll be all right, Twiki:
I know you will:

You'll be back with us in no time:

Hang in there, big fella:
We're all rootin' for you:

I am robotic unit: : :

T-W-K-E-4:

Well, he's working:

[Chuckling]
Oh, thank goodness for that:

I am governed by Dr: Issac Asimov's
three immutable robotic laws:

One: A robot may not injure
a human being: : :

Or through inaction,
allow a human being to come to harm:

Two: A robot must obey the orders
given to it by human beings,

except where such orders would conflict
with the first law:

Three: A robot must protect
its own existence: : :

As long as such protection
does not conflict: : :

With the first or second law:

That's wonderful:
Do you know what you've just heard?

Those are the first words spoken
by all articulate robots: : :

Following the moment when
the positronic brain is introduced
to the servile mechanism:

[Chuckles]
T-W-K-E-4:

Can you hear me?
We have a problem:

I am here to solve problems:
Command me:

Good:
Oh, Buck, listen to me:

The longer Twiki's brain
is subjected to the strain
of Crichton's superior circuits,

the greater the risk
that he will incur permanent damage:

- Is there something we can do?
- Well, you see, I had so little time,

I'm afraid I had to cut
some of the leads
to Twiki's positronic cortex:

Well, how can we help?

You see, if you and Buck
could isolate those leads...

Do you follow me...
and extend them to the same length
as the uncut leads,

it would save a great deal of time
when I replace the brain:

In fact,
it could make all the difference:

Consider it done, Doctor: We'll have
those leads ready by the time you get back:
Right:

Listen, it's a matter
of electro-timing, old boy,
with our lives at stake here:

I understand the problem:
I will eliminate it:

Well, you'd better hurry:
We can't take much more of this heat:

I shall begin at the main juncture
of the gyro:

Every second...
Every second counts:

Serious problem here?

It is done:

Will somebody please try the controls?

He did it!
We're swinging back to course!

[Applause]

I am pleased to have been able to help:

Attention, all hands:
Impact with Khyphotak's seventh sun
has been avoided:

All systems are functioning:
Emergency standby personnel may stand down:

Thank you, Crichton:

I am not Crichton:
I am robotic unit: : :

T-W-K-E-4:

Crichton no longer functions:

I know:

If I understand the problem here,
you wish Crichton to function again?

But of course we do:
Of course:

But it's impossible:
His brain's damaged:

Nothing is impossible:
Not for Zeerdonians:

Come on:
Let's go see what we can do:

[Sighs]

I wouldn't trust them
not one centimeter:

Do come along, T-W-K-E-4:
We're gonna see if we can help Crichton:

Ah! There:
Thank goodness:

He's back home, so to speak,
in no further danger:

I'll tell you what we'll do:
We'll feed him energy very slowly:

Then we wait a few minutes,
and then we shall see:

It's time to on-think
the dented one:

On-think! Yes!
On-think!
[All Shouting In Agreement]

"On-think"? What on earth
are you people talking about?

Well, l-I think I know
what they're talking about:

You said you could fiix anything
just by thinking about it:

The way you unlocked the doors,
and the way you, uh,

examined Colonel Deering, hmm?

Yes:
That was off-think:

But we can on-think
even better than we off-think:

But we must know
the original shape and function
of the brain:

We all know the original shape,
but how it functions, well...

Dr: Goodfellow?

Well, I don't know:
I suppose I know as much as anybody: : :

About his composition and his
synaptic and electromagnetic impulses:

Time to on-think!
Yes, it's time to on-think!
We should all on-think!

[All]
Think about the brain:!
Think about the brain:!

Think about the brain!
Think about the brain!
Think about the brain!

I am thinking!
Think harder!

Push!
Shove!

Ponder!
Concentrate!

Think about the brain!

Think about the brain!
Think about the brain!

Think about the brain!
Think about the brain!

Think about the brain!
Think about the brain!

Think about the brain!

[Wilma]
Look, something is happening:!
[All Cheering]

You did it, Doctor! You did it!
You got the dent out of Crichton's brain:

I knew you could do it:
They did it, all of them:
They did it:

Now, I'll tell you what...

to return Crichton's brain
to its original cranial cavity: : :

And see if both the brains function:

Ah:
Now, then:

That's all right:
Let's hope for the best, shall we say:

Oh, please,
let it be our old Twiki:

I say, are you there, Twiki?

[Wilma]
Twiki, are you there?

No response at all:

[Xces]
Time to on-think:!
Yes, it's time to on-think:!

[All Chattering]

On-think:! On-think:! On-think:!
On-think:! On-think:! On-think:!

On-think:!
Look!

Twiki: I say, Twiki, dear fellow,
can you hear me?

[Chirping]
Oh, I hope I never have to go through
anything like this again:

It's a drag:

[Laughs]
It's him: Welcome back, Twiki:

I knew you'd pull through, big guy:

It's good to feel like
my old self again:

What about Crichton?
Yes, what about him?

Oh, yes:
Now then, Crichton,

speak up, old boy,
if you can:

Why is everybody staring
in this insane fashion?

Surely you must have something
better to do, hmm?

Should've left him with the dent:

[Woman Screams]

You know we're arriving at Sitof 43...
you know, the repair station?
Everyone's waiting for you on the bridge:

I was just curious:
You ever heard of
curiosity killing the cat?

What's a cat?

You'll be leaving in a few moments
via the air lock:

Sitof has you on tractor beam:
They'll activate as soon
as you're aboard your ship:

I must say... it's been interesting
having you with us:

Interesting is hardly the word:
You've missed an experience:

So I have been hearing:
[Dr: Goodfellow]
No, no, no, no, no:

You've all missed the point:

Don't you understand what's happened?
We've all been part of a miracle...
a whole series of miracles:

We've been reminded of something
very important in life...

that anything you believe possible,

anything you think possible
is possible:

Oh, I know there have been misadventures,
but look at what we've gained:

Something has been brought back
into this old heart of mine: : :

That I thought it had lost forever:

Do you know what that is?

The magic of believing:
And I, for one,
want to show my gratitude:

Bravo:

We like you too:
Yes, indeed:

Very much:
Very much of muchness:

You have also given us something:

What is that?
[Xces]
When we return to our planet,

we'll be welcomed as heroes:

- The queen will make us knights:
- Why would she do that?

Because we saved your lives:

That's funny:
I would've sworn Twiki
had something to do with that:

I do believe I had something
to do with the process:

Well, let's say it was
a brilliant communal effort, shall we?
I think, in any case,

it's splendid that
you're gonna be made knights:

I should also ask Her Majesty, your queen,
to commission you a new ship:

What's wrong with the old one?
I don't know:
I haven't been on it:

But Captain Rogers tells me
it's a real dog of a ship:

It'd be a shame to send a knight out
on a dog like that, wouldn't it?

[All Chuckling]

Another pun!
A glorious pun!

- A super-splendiferous pun:!
- Apun to end all puns:!