All language subtitles for Agatha Christies Murder Is Easy

THANK YOU. OH, YOU'RE SO KIND.

SURE, HERE WE GO.

I WAS SO AFRAID I WAS GOING TO MISS IT.

I MEANT TO GO ON UP THIS MORNING.

BUT THEN, OF COURSE, THE MORNING TRAIN

WOULD HAVE BEEN CROWDED, WHAT WITH THE DERBY.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WHICH HORSE WON?

THE DERBY?

OH, LET ME THINK.

I'VE BEEN SO UPSET WITH THIS DREADFUL BUSINESS.

MAYBE JUJUBE? JUJUBE II?

I DON'T THINK IT WAS JUJUBE. THEY SAID HE HADN'T A CHANCE.

MY COMPUTER SAYS HE DOES.

I PROGRAMMED ALL THE VARIABLES, THE JOCKEY, THE HORSE,

THE TRACK CONDITIONS, EVERYTHING.

AND EACH TIME, IT CAME UP THE SAME -- JUJUBE.

I'M SORRY.

I DO GET A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.

PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO EXCITING.

BUT I'M SURE AN OLD MUDDLEHEAD LIKE ME

COULDN'T BEGIN TO GRASP ANYTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS.

OH, SURE YOU COULD.

YOU SEE, IT'S ONLY A QUESTION OF PROBABILITIES.

NOW LOOK, IMAGINE YOU HAVE A JIGSAW PUZZLE,

ONLY SOME OF THE PIECES ARE MISSING.

ALL RIGHT, TAKE THE PIECES YOU HAVE

AND YOU FEED THEM INTO THE COMPUTER,

REMEMBERING THAT THE "PIECES" ARE NUMBERS.

AND THEN, THE COMPUTER WILL TELL YOU

WHAT THE MISSING PIECES PROBABLY LOOK LIKE.

OH, THEN IT ISN'T A MATTER OF ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY?

IF IT WERE, I'D BE RICH.

I'M SURE YOU DO VERY NICELY WITH YOUR WINNINGS.

OH, OH, THE DERBY?

NO, NO, YOU SEE, I DID THAT JUST FOR FUN.

I'M A RESEARCHER AT M.I.T., NEAR BOSTON.

I'M LUKE WILLIAMS, BY THE WAY.

AND I'M LAVINIA FULLERTON.

I GATHER YOU'RE ON HOLIDAY.

YES, YES, THIS IS MY FIRST TOUR OF EUROPE,

AND I AM BEGINNING TO SEE

WHAT IT IS I HAVE BEEN MISSING.

AH, YOU COULD DEVELOP OTHER PASSIONS, THEN.

YES!

JUST AS WELL, PERHAPS.

YOU KNOW, ALEXANDER POPE SAYS,

"ONE MASTER PASSION IN THE BREAST,

"LIKE AARON'S SERPENT,

SWALLOWS UP THE REST."

"ESSAY ON MAN," EPISTLE...ONE.

EPISTLE TWO.

IT'S HARD BEING ALONE, I KNOW.

OF COURSE, I DO HAVE WONKY-POOH.

MY CAT, YOU SEE.

BEAUTIFUL.

BUT HE'S HAD SUCH A PAINFUL EAR LATELY,

AND HE WAS MISSING THIS MORNING.

I SIMPLY COULDN'T LEAVE UNTIL HE WAS FOUND.

NOW WHY ARE WE STOPPING?

I'M SO LATE AS IT IS.

WELL, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.

DEAR.

WELL, I CAN ONLY HOPE

THEY DON'T KEEP THE USUAL OFFICE HOURS AT SCOTLAND YARD.

UH, SCOTLAND YARD?

OH, I'M SURE IT'S SAFE TO TELL YOU.

YOU SEE, OUR CONSTABLE AT WYCHWOOD

IS USED TO DEALING WITH TRAFFIC PROBLEMS

AND EVEN WITH DOGS WHO FOUL THE FOOTWAYS,

BUT I FEEL CERTAIN HE IS JUST NOT THE MAN

TO DEAL WITH --

WELL, WITH MURDER.

MURDER?

OH, YES.

AFTER THE THIRD TIME, ONE KNOWS.

THREE MURDERS?

AT LEAST THREE THAT I KNOW OF.

IT'S THE LOOK, YOU SEE.

THAT TERRIBLE, MAD LOOK ON THE KILLER'S FACE

BEFORE STRIKING.

I SAW IT FIRST

WITH MAJOR HORTON'S WIFE, AND SHE DIED.

AND THEN THERE WAS HARRY CARTER

AND TOMMY PIERCE.

AND I FEEL CERTAIN THAT DR. HUMBLEBY WILL BE NEXT.

AND THE TERRIBLE THING IS

THAT IF I TOLD HIM, HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME.

NOR WOULD OUR CONSTABLE.

BUT AT SCOTLAND YARD...

NOW YOU'RE SURE I CAN'T HELP YOU

FIND A CAB, JUST TO GET INTO LONDON?

NO, THANK YOU. IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

OH, LOOK, THAT'S YOUR HORSE!

OH, WAIT TILL JIMMY SEES THAT.

WELL, I MUST BE OFF. IT'S SUCH A PLEASURE.

THANK YOU.

UM, UH, PARDON ME, MISS FULLERTON?

OH, PROFESSOR WILLIAMS,

IT'S ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU ACTUALLY WROTE IT.

I COULDN'T THINK OF TAKING IT FROM YOU.

PLEASE.

IT'S DEDICATED TO MY AUNT MARY,

AND SHE NEVER EVEN SAW IT.

IN THAT CASE, I SHALL TREASURE IT.

UM, MISS FULLERTON?

ABOUT THIS MURDER BUSINESS --

YOU KNOW, AT FIRST I FEARED YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.

WELL, WELL, THINK OF IT IN TERMS OF,

WELL, PROBABILITIES.

NOW IT'D BE PRETTY TOUGH FOR SOMEONE

TO TRY AND GET AWAY WITH ALL THOSE MURDERS.

OH, FORGIVE ME, PROFESSOR,

BUT THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE IN ERROR.

YOU SEE, THE PERSON IN QUESTION

IS JUST THE LAST PERSON ANYONE WOULD SUSPECT.

AND SO LONG AS NO ONE SUSPECTS YOU,

MURDER IS EASY.

HEY, LUKE!

HA HA!

WELCOME TO LONDON!

JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU?

DID YOU SEE THOSE DERBY RESULTS?

I ALREADY HAVE A COMPUTER LINED UP

SO THAT YOU CAN PICK ME OUT A WINNER

DURING THE ASCOT MEETINGS.

NO, THIS IS MY FIRST VACATION IN YEARS.

I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SITTING

IN A COMPUTER ROOM AND DOING THE SAME THING.

IF YOU COULD JUST OVERLOOK THIS,

JUST THIS ONCE, BECAUSE, UM --

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

[ SCREAMING ]

I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER --

THE CURIOSITY --

I'M SORRY YOUR MISS FULLERTON

GOT HERSELF APPLIED TO THE PAVEMENT LIKE THAT,

AND I REALLY DO THINK IT'S TERRIBLY DECENT OF YOU

TO WANT TO GO TO THE FUNERAL,

BUT I HAVE LINED UP

A COUPLE OF ABSOLUTE BEAUTIES!

ONE'S GOT A YACHT, AND I THOUGHT,

AS YOU'RE NO LONGER INVOLVED WITH NANCY --

YEAH, BUT, JIMMY, DO YOU KNOW WHY

I AM NO LONGER INVOLVED WITH NANCY?

BECAUSE NANCY SAID TO ME I WAS MORE INVOLVED

WITH MY THEORIES THAN I WAS WITH HER,

AND A NUMBER OF OTHER LADIES HAVE SAID THE SAME THING.

THAT'S WHY YOU WANT TO GO TO THE FUNERAL?

IT'S JUST THAT THIS LADY GOT THROUGH TO ME

AND I'M VERY CURIOUS ABOUT DR. HUMBLEBY.

JIMMY, LOOK, A LADY IS GOING TO SCOTLAND YARD,

SHE IS GOING TO IDENTIFY A MURDERER,

AND THEN SHE IS KILLED.

NOW THAT DEFIES THE THEORY OF PROBABILITY.

LUKE, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HER STORY.

THIS COUNTRY IS TEEMING WITH THESE DOTTY OLD DEARS

FULL OF DIREST IMAGININGS.

THEY'RE A TYPE --

STOUT SHOES, CAPACIOUS HANDBAG,

GETTING WARM?

PROBABLY HAD A BUDGERIGAR, AS WELL, OR A CAT.

WONKY-POOH.

I REST MY CASE.

OH, ALL RIGHT,

I'LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR FUNERAL AT WYCHWOOD, THEN.

BUT I SHALL DEFINITELY

EXPECT YOU TO COME UP WITH THE GOLD CUP WINNER

AT THE ROYAL ASCOT FOR ME.

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

Man: "THE BEGINNING AND THE END.

"I WILL GIVE UNTO HIM THAT IS ATHIRST

"AT THE FOUNTAIN OF THE WATER OF LIFE FREELY.

"HE THAT OVERCOMETH SHALL INHERIT ALL THINGS,

"AND I WILL BE HIS GOD

AND HE SHALL BE MY SON."

AND SO THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO SAY

OUR LAST GOODBYE

TO OUR DEAR FRIEND, LAVINIA FULLERTON.

AND INDEED, YOU HAVE ALL BEEN GOOD FRIENDS TO HER.

MR. ABBOT,

WHO SERVED HER WELL AS A LEGAL ADVISOR

FOR MANY YEARS.

MAJOR HORTON.

AND YOU ARE REMEMBERING TODAY, I KNOW, HOW,

HOW FAITHFULLY MISS FULLERTON ATTENDED YOUR WIFE

IN HER LAST ILLNESS.

MR. ELLSWORTHY.

AH.

MR. ELLSWORTHY.

YES.

AND MISS WAYNFLETE, OF COURSE.

HONORIA, HOW WELL I REMEMBER

YOU AND LAVINIA AS YOUNG LADIES,

WITH CLARENCE HUMBLEBY.

AND WITH YOUR FATHER, TOO, BRIDGET, DEAR.

GOD REST HIS SOUL.

AHEM.

Vicar: AH, YES, CERTAINLY, OF COURSE.

LORD EASTERFIELD,

ALWAYS A FINE FRIEND TO ALL,

I'M SURE.

[ BELL TOLLS ]

HEY, JIMMY, WILL YOU SLOW DOWN?

THAT OLD SNOB'S GAINING ON US.

Easterfield: MR. LORRIMER!

LORD EASTERFIELD!

SO IT WAS YOU AT THE FUNERAL.

IS LADY BARBARA NOT WITH YOU -- HOW IS SHE?

MAMA IS VERY WELL.

SPLENDID -- WELL, COME ALONG TO TEA.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE.

Easterfield: NONSENSE. OF COURSE IT'S POSSIBLE.

IT'S PERFECTLY POSSIBLE. I ONLY JUST LIVE --

GORDON, DEAR. REALLY, YOU MUSTN'T INSIST.

I'M BRIDGET CONWAY, LORD EASTERFIELD'S SECRETARY.

JIMMY LORRIMER.

AND LUKE WILLIAMS.

Easterfield: BRIDGET,

MR. LORRIMER IS COMING TO TEA.

GORDON, PLEASE.

I GATHER MISS FULLERTON WAS A FRIEND.

NO, ACTUALLY, WE CAME

TO SEE SOMEBODY.

THAT'S RIGHT. A DUTY CALL FOR MAMA, REALLY.

AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE OF HERS.

FELLOW CALLED HUMBLEBY.

DR. HUMBLEBY?

OH, DEAR.

WELL, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK THERE.

HUMBLEBY'S DEAD.

Lavinia: AND I FEEL CERTAIN

THAT DR. HUMBLEBY WILL BE NEXT.

Luke: NOW COME ON, I'M THE EXPERT ON PROBABILITY,

SO DON'T TELL ME THAT HUMBLEBY

JUST HAPPENED TO DROP DEAD RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

I'M NOT LEAVING TILL I FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE.

OH, VERY WELL.

BUT YOU CAN'T SIMPLY

JUST WALTZ INTO A POKY LITTLE ENGLISH VILLAGE

AND START ASKING QUESTIONS ALL AROUND.

YOU'LL STICK OUT A MILE.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY AND THINK

OF SOME PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR YOUR BEING HERE.

BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO STAY.

[ DOORBELL CHIMES ]

I KNEW YOU'D COME AFTER ALL.

T'ANG DYNASTY, I BELIEVE.

AREN'T THEY ALL.

WELL, IT'S TOO BAD ABOUT DR. HUMBLEBY.

OH, HUMBLEBY WAS A MUDDLEHEADED OLD FOOL.

Bridget: THAT MEANS HE DISAGREED WITH GORDON.

WELL, HE WOULD OPPOSE ME

ON THE QUESTION OF OUR WATER SUPPLY.

IF ONLY HE'D TAKEN THE TROUBLE

TO READ MY EDITORIALS ON THE SUBJECT, BUT NO,

STUBBORN AS A MULE.

Bridget: NOW, GORDON,

I'M SURE WE'RE ALL VERY SORRY HE'S DEAD.

WELL, YOU HAVE NO REASON TO GRIEVE, AT ANY RATE,

MY DEAR, BUT YOU CAN'T

OPPOSE THE WILL OF PROVIDENCE.

HERE'S OLD HUMBLEBY GETS A MERE SCRATCH,

AND IN THREE DAYS, HE'S DEAD OF IT.

I EXPECT IT HAD LESS TO DO WITH PROVIDENCE

THAN WITH BLOOD POISONING.

HE SIMPLY NEGLECTED HIS CONDITION, THAT'S ALL,

AS DOCTORS OFTEN DO, ODDLY ENOUGH.

I SHAN'T SAY ANY MORE.

COULDN'T BEAR LADY BARBARA TO THINK ILL OF ME.

HA HA HA.

ACTUALLY, MAMA HARDLY KNEW DR. HUMBLEBY.

IT WAS LUKE THAT WAS SO EAGER

TO COME TO WYCHWOOD, WASN'T IT, LUKE?

WAS IT REALLY?

I MUST SAY, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE OUR USUAL

WITCHCRAFT ENTHUSIAST.

WE GET SO FEW AMERICANS.

WELL, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR IT.

OF COURSE, I THINK ALL THIS WITCHCRAFT BUSINESS

IS RATHER ABSURD.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS HERE TO STUDY WITCHCRAFT?

WHAT ELSE COULD INDUCE ANYONE

TO COME TO WYCHWOOD?

Jimmy: OH, BUT LUKE'S THRILLED.

ALWAYS BEEN KEEN ON THE STUFF,

DOING A BOOK ON, HOW'S IT GO, LUKE?

ABOUT DEATH, ANYWAY.

UH, HA HA! WELL.

ANCIENT BURIAL CUSTOMS.

Jimmy: OF COURSE, WE WERE GOING TO GO ON TO STONEHENGE,

FOR THE DRUID FESTIVAL, BUT NOW I'M NOT CERTAIN.

PERHAPS ONE SHOULD TARRY.

I TRUST THERE ARE COMFORTABLE LODGINGS IN THE VILLAGE?

LODGINGS? NONSENSE.

YOU'LL STOP HERE, OF COURSE.

THAT'S VERY HANDSOME OF YOU, LORD EASTERFIELD,

TO TAKE LUKE IN LIKE THAT.

I SHALL BE QUITE ENVIOUS.

Easterfield: WELL, DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU'RE NOT STAYING HERE?

LUKE, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ASCOT.

MAMA'S GOT US PLACES IN THE ROYAL ENCLOSURE.

THE ROYAL ENCLOSURE?

I SAY, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D --

YOU SEE, MAMA IS HAVING A LITTLE PARTY AFTERWARDS.

JIMMY, I CAN'T STAY HERE.

Jimmy: NO, ANYWAY, SO DREARY, THESE PARTIES.

ALL THOSE CROWNED HEADS ELBOWING ONE.

MY DEAR BOY, OF COURSE HE SHALL STAY.

HE MUST STAY.

YOU'LL STAY.

Luke: THAT WAS A VERY NICE DINNER.

ALL RIGHT, AVERY, I'LL LOCK UP LATER.

ARE YOU GOING UP, GORDON?

I'VE GOT TO REVIEW THE ARTICLE ASSIGNMENTS,

BUT SHOW MISTER, UH -- TO HIM ROOM.

Luke: THANK YOU.

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

GORDON'S SO...

SERIOUS ABOUT HIS WORK.

HE OWNS A FEW WEEKLY NEWSPAPERS.

WELL, HE SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING.

OH, YES.

ONE'S NOT MADE A LORD FOR NOTHING, YOU KNOW.

HE REALLY IS A MAN OF A GREAT MANY GIFTS.

EXCEPT, PERHAPS, IN THE AESTHETICS DEPARTMENT.

HMM.

THERE'S NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE, IS THERE?

WELL, THEY'RE ALL RATHER...INTERESTING.

HA HA HA!

"ABOMINABLE" IS MORE LIKE IT.

BUT GORDON WILL REDECORATE.

HE'S RENOVATED THE WHOLE PLACE, BIT BY BIT,

SINCE HE TOOK IT OVER FROM MY FAMILY.

YOU DON'T MIND?

WOULD IT MATTER?

ANYWAY, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

THEY'RE GORDON'S.

PERHAPS THEY'LL DO TILL YOUR FRIEND

SENDS YOUR THINGS.

OH, OH, SURE. IT'S FINE, FINE.

I LIKE THE ROOM.

USED TO BE MINE.

I'M DOWN THE HALL NOW.

OH, THEN, YOU DO LIVE HERE?

I MEAN,

YOU'RE HIS SECRETARY AND --

AND HIS FIANCEE, AS WELL.

HUH.

AND NOW YOU'RE WONDERING IF IT'S USUAL

TO LIVE IN THE HOUSE OF ONE'S FIANCE.

I'M SORRY.

I HAVE A BIG MOUTH.

I'M AFRAID YOU'LL BE ON YOUR OWN TOMORROW.

GORDON AND I LEAVE EARLY FOR LONDON.

Lavinia: AND SO LONG AS NO ONE SUSPECTS YOU,

MURDER IS EASY.

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

HOP IN.

NO, THANKS, I SORT OF LIKE BEING ALIVE.

YOU'RE QUITE SAFE. I NEVER HAVE ACCIDENTS.

HUH.

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

DECIDED TO STAY AND HELP. HOW'S THE RESEARCH COMING?

I WAS JUST IN THE VILLAGE

AND I LEARNED SOMETHING.

VILLAGE FOLK ARE SUSPICIOUS OF STRANGERS.

THAT'S WHY YOU NEED MY HELP.

I KNOW, WE'LL SIMPLY SAY

YOU'RE MY COUSIN, ALL RIGHT?

OH, PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO BORE YOU WITH ALL THIS.

WELL, I EXPECT TO BE BORED.

IT'S DE RIGUEUR.

I AM IN TRAINING TO BE LADY OF THE MANOR.

I GATHER THERE HAVE BEEN SEVERAL FUNERALS LATELY.

YES, IT IS RATHER ODD, SO MANY ACCIDENTS.

LET'S SEE, THERE WAS HARRY CARTER.

HE WAS DROWNED IN THE RIVER. OWNED THE PUB, HA HA HA HA HA!

NATURALLY, GORDON SAID HE DESERVED IT

FOR BEING NOT ONLY A DRUNK,

BUT A SOCIALIST.

AND TOMMY PIERCE FELL OUT OF A WINDOW.

AND DR. HUMBLEBY?

FANCY DYING FROM A SCRATCH.

OH, OF COURSE, MISS FULLERTON.

ANOTHER ACCIDENT.

WELL, PERHAPS SHE DOESN'T COUNT,

AS SHE WAS KILLED IN LONDON.

BY A RECKLESS DRIVER.

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

Luke: WHAT ARE WE DOING BACK HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HELP ME.

REALLY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T COME HERE

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

IT'S HIS OWN MUSEUM.

A HOBBY.

MISS WAYNFLETE, THE CURATOR,

KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

HELLO?

MISS WAYNFLETE.

AH-CHOO!

MISS WAYNFLETE?

I'VE BROUGHT YOU LUKE WILLIAMS,

A SORT OF COUSIN OF MINE.

OH, OH, YES!

I SAW YOU AT POOR LAVINIA'S FUNERAL, DIDN'T I?

AH-CHOO!

I'VE GOT A DREADFUL COLD.

CAUGHT IT FROM MY HOUSEMAID, AMY.

YOU REALLY SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THAT.

Waynflete: I KNOW,

BUT I WANTED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS NEW EXHIBIT INSTEAD,

THOUGH I CAN'T SEE WHAT LORD EASTERFIELD

HAD IN HIS MIND.

BUT HE'S SO KEEN ON MODERNIZING.

HE MUST HAVE BROUGHT THESE THINGS

FROM THAT LABORATORY HE VISITED.

Waynflete: IT MADE ME QUITE SHIVER

JUST TO HEAR HIM DESCRIBE IT.

ALL THOSE DEADLY GERMS AND CULTURES.

Bridget: LUKE,

REMEMBER I MENTIONED ABOUT TOMMY PIERCE?

YES.

WELL.

THIS IS THE WINDOW HE FELL FROM.

WHILE CLEANING IT.

LUKE IS DOING A BOOK

ON DEATH RITES OR SOMETHING.

WITCHCRAFT, ANYWAY,

AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP HIM.

BUT HOW INTRIGUING.

YES, WE'VE QUITE A HISTORY THAT WAY,

GOES BACK TO PRE-ROMAN TIMES.

OF COURSE, OUR MOST FAMOUS WITCH

WAS ACTUALLY A WARLOCK.

OH, WHAT WAS HER NAME?

IT WAS HAROLD, I THINK.

Waynflete: AH-CHOO!

MISS WAYNFLETE,

YOU SHOULD BE HOME IN BED.

DON'T YOU AGREE, LUKE?

YES, ABSOLUTELY. THIS CAN WAIT.

YES, TOMMY FELL FROM THAT WINDOW,

ONTO THE FLAGSTONES THERE, QUITE HORRIBLE.

AND YOU FOUND HIM?

NO, IT WAS MR. ABBOT, THE SOLICITOR.

WE'D ALL GONE OFF TO THE CHARITY BAZAAR.

REMEMBER, BRIDGET? POOR TOMMY.

I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT

NO ONE LIKED HIM VERY MUCH.

HE WAS AN INFURIATING LITTLE SNOOP.

Waynflete: I'M SURE IT WAS VERY GOOD OF LORD EASTERFIELD

TO KEEP HIM ON AFTER TOMMY WAS SO IMPERTINENT TO HIM.

WELL, YOU KNOW GORDON.

SUCH A PITY, LORD EASTERFIELD'S KINDNESS

TURNING INTO TRAGEDY LIKE THAT.

YOU'LL STAY FOR TEA.

[ RING ]

AMY.

AMY.

WHERE IS THAT GIRL?

I'LL GO.

AMY, WE'RE WANTING TEA.

I'M AFRAID MY HOUSEMAID IS QUITE A LAZY GIRL.

WASN'T EVEN UP THIS MORNING WHEN I LEFT.

[ MEOWING ]

OH, YOU WOULD LOVE TO GET AT MY LITTLE BIRDS,

EH, WONKY-POOH?

WONKY-POOH?

YES, LAVINIA ASKED ME TO WATCH HIM

THE DAY SHE WENT TO LONDON.

HE HAD A BAD INFECTION --

I CAN'T FIND AMY ANYWHERE.

REALLY?

UP TO HER OLD TRICKS AGAIN.

GORDON GAVE HER NO END OF LECTURES

ABOUT STAYING OUT LATE.

[ KNOCKING ]

YOU'RE SURE SHE CAME HOME?

OH, YES!

I WAS AWAKENED BY A NOISE, VERY LATE.

SHE MUST BE IN THERE.

IT'S THAT ONE THERE.

THE LITTLE SKYLIGHT. THAT'S IT.

OH, DEAR, I DO HOPE SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

Bridget: PERHAPS SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

SHE WAS AWFULLY TORN UP ABOUT SOME LOVE AFFAIR

A WHILE BACK.

Waynflete: COME, YOU KNOW AMY,

ALWAYS SEVERAL MEN ON A STRING.

IN FACT, SHE'S JUST BROKEN OFF WITH MR. ELLSWORTHY.

CURIOUS.

NO SIGN OF ANYTHING.

COULD YOU NOT

TOUCH ANYTHING, SIR?

IT'S ONLY A COUGH MIXTURE.

I PRESCRIBED IT MYSELF.

DON'T SUPPOSE YOU NOTICED THE, UH --

NEEDLE MARKS ON HER ARM, DR. THOMAS?

I DID MANAGE TO NOTICE THEM,

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CONSTABLE REED.

I PUT THEM THERE MYSELF.

AMY'S COLD WOULD LINGER,

AND I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT BE RUN DOWN.

TOOK A BLOOD SAMPLE.

BUT THERE MUST BE A HALF-DOZEN MARKS

ON THERE, SIR.

QUITE -- AMY HAD WHAT'S COMMONLY CALLED

FLOATING VEINS.

ALWAYS TAKES SEVERAL TRIES TO INSERT THE NEEDLE PROPERLY

IN SUCH CASES.

EMBARRASSING FOR YOU, SIR,

ALL THAT STABBING ABOUT.

STILL, WE DON'T KNOW THAT SHE DIDN'T

MAKE ONE OF THOSE MARKS HERSELF, DO WE?

WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING, CONSTABLE?

DRUGS, MISS.

IT'S A COMMON PROBLEM THESE DAYS.

AMY?

REALLY, CONSTABLE,

I'M SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON NARCOTICS.

IF AMY WERE AN ADDICT, I BELIEVE I'D HAVE KNOWN.

ALWAYS A FIRST TIME, EH?

NOW MISS WAYNFLETE, I UNDERSTAND

SHE FREQUENTED ROCK CONCERTS IN LONDON.

OH, WELL, THAT'S PROOF POSITIVE, ISN'T IT?

ROCK CONCERTS.

Reed: PLEASE, MISS!

MUSTN'T TOUCH THINGS.

HOW VERY ODD.

SO WHITE.

NOT AT ALL A FLATTERING SHADE FOR AMY.

CARE TO HAVE A LOOK, SIR?

HEROIN.

DREADFUL BUSINESS, THESE DRUGS.

STILL, I EXPECT

IT'S JUST ROUTINE FOR YOU, ISN'T IT, SIR?

YOU BEING AN AMERICAN.

LOVE YOUR SQUAD CAR!

I WONDER.

WHAT'S THE PROBABILITY OF FIVE PEOPLE

DYING SUDDENLY IN A TOWN OF THIS SIZE?

SIX, COUNTING AMY.

AND I WONDER WHAT ALL THIS HAS TO DO WITH

YOUR STUDY ON WITCHCRAFT.

I WANT A STRAIGHT ANSWER, LUKE.

WHY DID YOU REALLY COME HERE?

HEEL! HEEL!

HEEL, NERO.

HEEL! HEEL, NERO!

YOU MUST BE JOKING.

I MEAN, WHO WOULD WANT TO MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT MISS FULLERTON DID,

AND THAT IS WHY SHE'S DEAD.

SHE SAID THE GUY WAS CRAZY.

PERHAPS IT WAS ONE OF YOUR WARLOCKS AT WORK.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT WARLOCKS WERE MALE WITCHES?

LET'S HOPE THAT MISS WAYNFLETE

IS NOT AS SHARP AS YOU ARE, HMM?

SHE'S SHARP ENOUGH TO BE SUSPICIOUS

ABOUT AMY, ANYWAY.

SO WHAT ARE WE SAYING?

THAT SOME MAN DOPED AMY

AND THEN PLANTED THE COMPACT

TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF SHE OVERDOSED?

BUT HOW DID HE GET INTO THE ROOM?

THE DOOR WAS LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE.

WELL, ANY FAIRLY STRONG MAN COULD HAVE GOT IN

THROUGH THAT WINDOW, JUST AS YOU DID.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

WAIT...

WAIT.

AMY KNOWS THE GUY. SHE BRINGS HIM HOME.

HE KILLS HER, HE LEAVES THE COMPACT,

AND THEN HE GOES OUT THE WINDOW.

MMM, BETTER.

AH, BUT --

WHY THE COMPACT?

WHY NOT A SYRINGE?

AH! AH!

OH!

CAREFUL.

WE ALREADY LOST HARRY CARTER

OFF THIS BRIDGE.

UNLESS HE WAS PUSHED.

OH, THIS WHOLE THIS IS

SO BIZARRE.

I MEAN, I'VE LIVED ALL MY LIFE HERE.

IF THERE REALLY IS A KILLER

AND HE REALLY IS MAD,

THEN I SHOULD HAVE SOME IDEA.

BRIDGET, THERE IS A KILLER, AND IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING,

HE'S GOING TO GO RIGHT ON KILLING.

WHAT?

OF COURSE.

WHAT?

COME ON, LUKE.

WHAT?

COME ON.

Ellsworthy: WITCHCRAFT.

NO, NO, I HAVE A FEW

AMULETS AND SUCH,

FOR THE TOURISTS, OF COURSE.

HMM, INTERESTING, MR. ELLSWORTHY.

YES, HERE, I'VE JUST GOT IN

A FEW ORIENTAL THINGS.

PERHAPS YOU'D BE GOOD ENOUGH TO TELL HIS LORDSHIP,

MISS CONWAY.

I SHALL.

WHAT IS THAT?

Luke: IT'S A BONG, USED FOR SMOKING HASH.

YOU MAY BE THE ONLY SOUL IN WYCHWOOD

WHO WOULD KNOW THAT.

YES, THIS ONE'S QUITE OLD.

IT'S POSSIBLY 19th CENTURY.

Bridget: MUST HAVE BEEN THE SORT OF AFFAIR

THAT COLERIDGE WOULD HAVE USED.

NO, NO. COLERIDGE USED OPIUM.

VERY DIFFERENT SORT OF THING TO HASHISH.

XANADU, YOU KNOW.

DIVINE MADMAN, COLERIDGE, THANKS TO OPIUM.

SANITY'S SUCH A BORE, DON'T YOU THINK?

I MEAN, IT TAKES A TOUCH OF MADNESS

TO SEE LIFE THROUGH A NEW AND --

ENTRANCING ANGLE.

AT LEAST, SO ONE IMAGINES.

I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE ARTISTIC TEMPERAMENT.

Bridget: OH, YOU'RE TOO MODEST, MR. ELLSWORTHY.

THOSE SKETCHES YOU DID OF...

AMY GIBBS WERE REALLY VERY GOOD.

YES, WELL, UH,

AMY WOULD MAKE A VERY PRETTY SUBJECT FOR ANYONE.

YOU THINK SO?

I'VE ALWAYS FOUND HER RATHER COMMON.

CERTAINLY NOT THE SORT TO WHOM

A MAN WOULD WANT TO LOSE HIS HEART.

SHE'D BE SURE TO BREAK IT,

WOULDN'T SHE?

YES, YES, I SUPPOSE THAT'S SO.

BRIDGET, WHAT A THING TO SAY ABOUT POOR AMY.

AFTER ALL, SHE'S DEAD.

DEAD?

Luke on tape: He was in love with Amy,

and he knows enough about dope to kill someone with it

and he's not very well liked,

and that's all I know about Ellsworthy,

except that he's generally pretty weird.

OH, THAT'S BRILLIANT, PROFESSOR WILLIAMS,

THEY'RE ALL PRETTY WEIRD, EXCEPT BRIDGET.

Okay.

Now let's look at the victim for a minute -- Amy.

She was young and pretty,

she was a man-chaser,

she was unreliable.

Bridget said she worked here

until Easterfield got in a hassle with her.

[ CLICK ]

WAIT A MINUTE.

[ CLICK ]

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ABOUT EASTERFIELD?

HE ALSO HAD A HASSLE WITH DR. HUMBLEBY

AND TOMMY.

NO, NO. IT'S JUST TOO PROBABLE.

COME ON, THINK.

I'VE GOT TO DO BETTER THAN THIS.

PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED.

[ SIGHS ]

MISS WAYNFLETE?

AH!

OH, MR. WILLIAMS! OH, HOW FRIGHTFUL!

OH, OH, I MUST BE MAD!

DO YOU KNOW, I SAW YOU THERE AT THE WINDOW,

AND I TOOK IT INTO MY HEAD YOU WERE GOING TO FALL!

IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

OH, YOU MUST THINK ME AN IMBECILE!

YOU'RE MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU LOOK,

MISS WAYNFLETE, PLEASE, PLEASE SIT DOWN.

DON'T CRY.

OH, NO, I SHAN'T.

OH, I'VE SEEN IT SO OFTEN IN MY MIND, YOU KNOW,

TOMMY GOING OVER.

AND WITH, WITH AMY AND EVERYTHING --

OOH, OH, DEAR.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WELL.

OH.

YOU'VE COME ABOUT YOUR RESEARCH,

OF COURSE.

AND I DO HAVE SOME THINGS FOR YOU.

UH, MISS WAYNFLETE!

WE HAVE TO TALK.

POOR LAVINIA.

DID SHE SAY WHO THE KILLER IS?

NO, NO, SHE DIDN'T.

BUT I THINK YOU HAVE SOME IDEA.

MISS WAYNFLETE.

THE DAY MISS FULLERTON WAS KILLED,

DO YOU REMEMBER

ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THAT DAY,

ANYTHING UNUSUAL?

NO.

WELL, LET ME THINK.

LAVINIA CAME BY WITH WONKY-POOH,

ASKED ME TO WATCH HIM,

AND, OF COURSE, I AGREED, AS I WAS JUST BY THE FIRE

ALL THAT DAY, ANYWAY.

I WAS COMING DOWN WITH THIS COLD, YOU KNOW.

AND AMY WAS IN BED WITH HER COLD.

OH, YES.

DR. HUMBELBY CAME BY TO LOOK IN ON HER

IN THE LATE AFTERNOON.

DR. HUMBLEBY, NOT DR. THOMAS?

NO, DR. THOMAS WAS AWAY THAT DAY,

AT THE DERBY, I BELIEVE.

THEY SOMETIMES TREATED ONE ANOTHER'S PATIENTS.

AND CLARENCE -- DR. HUMBELBY, YOU KNOW --

HE SAID, "I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A LOOK

AT THAT EAR OF WONKY-POOH'S, AS WELL."

THAT WAS LIKE HIM.

SUCH A NICE MAN.

OH, DEAR, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN

THE LAST TIME I EVER SAW HIM ALIVE.

WELL...

SHOULD YOU DECIDE

TO TELL ME WHO YOU SUSPECT...

YES,

I'LL THINK ON IT.

AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO ME.

IT'S A RELIEF TO KNOW IT ISN'T JUST ME,

THAT I'M NOT CRAZY

OR GROWING SENILE QUITE YET.

SENILE?

NO, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT

FOR DECADES, YET.

YES,

IT'S I.

QUITE PLAIN, EVEN THEN.

BUT YOUTH IS EVERYTHING, ISN'T IT?

WHO'S THE MAN?

WHY, IT'S GORDON, YOU KNOW.

MY FAMILY WAS

SO SCANDALIZED WHEN WE BECAME ENGAGED.

YOU WERE ENGAGED TO LORD EASTERFIELD?

LONG AGO.

LONG BEFORE HE WAS LORD EASTERFIELD.

SUCH A PROMISING BOY.

I WAS SO PROUD OF HIS SPIRIT,

HIS DETERMINATION.

AGE DOES THINGS TO PEOPLE,

MR. WILLIAMS.

STILL --

PERHAPS MY FAMILY WERE WRONG.

[ KNOCKING ]

YOUR THINGS, SIR.

THANKS. UH, A DRINK?

FROM A COLLEAGUE IN GREECE -- OUZO.

WHERE IS HIS LORDSHIP, BY THE WAY?

Bridget: OH, HE'LL BE IN TOWN VERY LATE,

PUTTING HIS PAPER TO BED.

GORDON'S A VERY HARD WORKER,

RATHER ADMIRABLE, I THINK.

IN FACT, HE'S AWAY

MUCH OF THE TIME.

OH, IT MUST GET KIND OF LONELY, HMM?

IT'S THE PRICE I PAY

FOR THE FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.

WONDER IF IT'S WORTH IT.

ARE YOU ASKING ME?

NO, NO, I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT, LATELY.

UM, YOU SEE, I'M KIND OF AT THE CROSSROADS.

I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE

IN THE ACADEMIC WORLD, AND I LOVE IT.

IT'S A SAFE RETREAT

AND I GET TO DO

EXCITING AND INTERESTING WORK

AND NOBODY BOTHERS ME.

NO HASSLES, NO TRIVIAL DETAILS.

AND -- NO HUMAN CONTACT.

HMM.

YES, WELL, THAT NEVER USED TO BOTHER ME,

AH, BEFORE,

BUT, UH --

THERE --

THERE IS THIS MAN IN MY DEPARTMENT.

HIS NAME IS HARRY LUDWIG. HE'S ABOUT 50 YEARS OLD.

YOU SAY "HI" TO HIM, HE'S STUCK FOR AN ANSWER.

HA HA HA HA!

BUT, LUKE, THAT'S HIM,

IT'S NOT YOU.

OH, WELL, NOT YET, ANYWAY.

IN ANY CASE,

I HAVE BEEN OFFERED A JOB WITH A CONSULTING FIRM

IN WASHINGTON.

I HAVE TO CONFESS, IT OFFERS SOME,

SOME REALLY EXCITING CHALLENGES,

BUT, UH --

I'D HAVE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE

ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, LIKE THE COMPANY

AND THE GOVERNMENT.

NO MORE NICE, SAFE,

THEORETICAL STUFF.

AND WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE?

SUPPOSEDLY, I AM ON VACATION

IN ORDER TO MAKE UP MY MIND,

AND SO FAR, I HAVE DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB

OF AVOIDING IT.

SOMETIMES, I THINK I'M DOING A PRETTY GOOD JOB

OF AVOIDING LIFE ALTOGETHER.

ASHE MANOR IS MY RETREAT,

JUST AS THE UNIVERSITY IS YOURS.

NO MORE GLOOM AND DOOM.

THE PROBABILITY THEORY WOULD SHOW THAT WE

WILL BOTH SURVIVE.

WHAT'S PROBABILITY THEORY?

MERELY A METHOD OF DECIDING WHICH EVENT

IS MOST LIKELY,

UNDER ANY GIVEN SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

FOR EXAMPLE,

IF YOU KEEP LOOKING THE WAY THAT YOU DO,

THE PROBABILITY IS,

OH, ROUGHLY 0.9,

THAT I WILL FORGET YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE'S FIANCEE.

I SEE.

IN THAT CASE, WE'D BETTER CHANGE THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

IT IS AFTER 11:00.

AND THEY SAY SIN BECOMES RAMPANT

AFTER 11:00.

OUT.

YES, IT WAS. JUST OVER THE LINE.

Abbot: CRIMINAL INSANITY.

THAT WOULD BE THE VERDICT FOR ONE OF YOUR WITCHES

THESE DAYS, MR. WILLIAMS.

YOU THINK SO, MR. ABBOT?

WELL, OF COURSE,

LEGAL INSANITY IS DIFFICULT TO DEFINE,

WHEN EVEN THE MOST DANGEROUS LUNATIC

MAY SEEM JUST LIKE THE NEXT BLOKE.

OH, HE MAY FEEL THAT HE HAS LOTS OF ENEMIES,

BUT WHO DOESN'T, WHAT?

INTERESTING, HOW EASY IT CAN BE

TO MURDER A PERSON, IF YOU'RE CLEVER.

YOU'RE PROBABLY EXPERIENCED IN THAT.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

I'M AFRAID MY WORK'S JUST THE DULL STUFF,

WILLS, INVESTMENTS.

ANYWAY, THERE'S BEEN NO MURDERS AROUND HERE

FOR AS LONG AS ANYONE REMEMBERS, EH, BRIDGET?

UNLESS SOMEONE FINALLY FINISHED OFF TOMMY PIERCE.

TOMMY?

THAT MORON. DRIVE A PERSON MAD.

TOMMY THE ONE THAT DROWNED?

NO, NO, NO, THAT WAS THAT IDIOT HARRY CARTER,

DROWNED IN THE RIVER.

THAT CAN'T HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR THE WATER SUPPLY.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

I SAY, THAT'S VERY GOOD.

WISH I'D THOUGHT OF IT. HA HA HA HA!

FANCY OLD HUMBLEBY'S FACE IF I TOLD HIM THAT.

WHY, MISS HUMBLEBY.

HAPPY YOU FELT LIKE COMING OUT.

I INSISTED.

SHE NEEDS THE DIVERSION.

MISS HUMBLEBY,

MY CONDOLENCES.

DID YOU GET THE AUTOPSY RESULTS, DR. THOMAS?

AMY DIED OF OPIUM DERIVATIVES.

BUT, I MEAN, HEROIN'S PRETTY EXPENSIVE, ISN'T IT,

FOR A HOUSEMAID TO AFFORD?

Thomas: THAT'S JUST THE TRAGEDY OF IT.

THE FIRST TIME'S ALWAYS FREE.

POOR AMY.

YES.

WELL, AMY ALWAYS WAS

TOO HEADSTRONG FOR HER OWN GOOD.

Easterfield: HELLO, EVERYONE!

RIGHT, WHO'S FOR DOUBLES?

ROSE?

COME ON, WE'LL CHALLENGE BRIDGET AND MISTER UH --

I'M NOT REALLY UP TO IT.

NONSENSE, ROSE. DO YOU GOOD.

Bridget: THIRTY-FORTY.

HEY, NICE SHOT, KID.

GORDON?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

FINE.

JUST PLAY, WILL YOU?

HA!

PLEASE, PLEASE, BRIDGET, YOU MUST WAIT UNTIL I'M READY.

Bridget: ALL RIGHT, GORDON, DEAR?

SERVICE.

FAULT!

DOUBLE FAULT!

MY GAME AND SET.

EIGHT-SIX.

IT'S NOT BAD, ALTHOUGH I SAY IT MYSELF.

WELL, PLAYED, MISTER, UH --

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, EH?

I SAY, EH, MAJOR?

FANCY ANOTHER GAME?

WHY'D YOU DO THAT? YOU GAVE HIM THE SET.

DON'T BE ABSURD.

MY GAME SIMPLY WENT TO PIECES.

IT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW.

NO -- THE FIRST DOUBLE FAULT OF THE DAY?

YES, THAT WAS RATHER GOOD.

YOU MEAN YOU ADMIT IT?

OBVIOUS, MY DEAR WATSON.

WELL, WHAT THE HELL FOR? YOU'RE A GOOD PLAYER!

EQUALLY OBVIOUS, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

GORDON HATES LOSING.

WELL, TERRIFIC.

MAYBE I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER.

BUT THEN, YOU'RE NOT MY BREAD AND BUTTER.

YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO MARRY A CREEP LIKE THAT FOR MONEY?

OH, I'LL EARN MY KEEP ALL RIGHT WITH GORDON.

YES, IF YOU DON'T MIND THE JOB DESCRIPTION.

HE'LL FORGET TO KISS ME GOOD NIGHT

AFTER A MONTH.

SURELY YOU CAN SEE WHAT A CHILD HE IS.

YES.

AND WHAT A COLD-BLOODED GOLD DIGGER YOU ARE.

WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN BEING A HOT-BLOODED FOOL!

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO LOVE A MAN?

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FIRST FIANCE, JOHNNY.

I CARED FOR HIM LIKE HELL AND HE THREW ME OVER

FOR A WIDOW WITH THREE CHINS

AND AN INCOME THAT MAKES GORDON LOOK LIKE A PAUPER!

THAT SORT OF THING RATHER CURES ONE OF ROMANCE,

DON'T YOU THINK?

YES, I GUESS IT COULD.

IT DID!

WELL, GOOD, THEN MAYBE IT'LL CURE ME,

BECAUSE I WAS BEGINNING TO HAVE

SOME PRETTY ROMANTIC FEELINGS ABOUT YOU.

WHAT?

OH, REALLY, LUKE,

WE'VE ONLY JUST MET.

WHY DON'T YOU GROW UP AND BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT?

I AM, AND THAT'S WHY I'M WRONG FOR YOU,

SINCE YOU'RE ONLY HOT FOR CHILDREN LIKE EASTERFIELD!

NERO! COME HERE, SIR.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN VERY HARD ON YOU

WHEN MRS. HORTON DIED.

YES!

BUT PEOPLE WERE KIND.

AND BRIDGET CAME EVERY DAY, TOWARD THE END.

BROUGHT DOWN HOTHOUSE GRAPES FROM EASTERFIELD'S.

THAT WAS AWFULLY SPORTING OF BRIDGET,

SWALLOWING HER PRIDE THAT WAY.

YEAH, SHE HAS PLENTY OF THAT.

HMM.

WELL, MY WIFE WAS A WONDERFUL WOMAN, BUT SHE DID

SNUB BRIDGET TERRIBLY AFTER HER FATHER LOST HIS MONEY.

POOR BRIDGET'S HAD RATHER A TIME OF IT.

EXPECT YOU KNOW, BEING HER COUSIN.

YES, WELL, SHE NEVER SAID MUCH ABOUT IT.

NO, NO, WELL, SHE WOULDN'T, WOULD SHE?

I STILL SAY THAT IDIOT HUMBLEBY WAS THE CAUSE OF IT ALL.

ANYONE COULD SEE BRIDGET'S FATHER WAS DYING,

BUT HUMBLEBY INSISTED HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT HIM.

THOUGHT THE POOR GIRL WOULD GO MAD WITH GRIEF

WHEN HE DIED.

AUGUSTUS! HEEL, SIR! HEEL, HEEL, HEEL!

WINNIE! AUGUSTUS! HEEL, SIR!

HEEL, HEEL, HEEL!

I, UH, I HAVE TO INTERVIEW TOMMY PIERCE'S MOTHER.

CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

OH, NO, I'LL NOT SET FOOT IN HARRY CARTER'S PLACE,

EVEN IF HE IS DEAD AND GONE TO HELL!

I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT,

HIS LORDSHIP GIVING HIMSELF AIRS.

IT'S NOT LIKE HE WERE REAL GENTRY,

NOT LIKE MISS BRIDGET OR MISS WAYNFLETE.

DIDN'T I HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT -- AH!

WHAT WAS IT? ABBOT AND AMY GIBBS, UH --

OF COURSE, I'M NEVER ONE TO GOSSIP,

I NEVER HAVE BEEN, BUT, UM --

I ALWAYS SAID THAT AMY WOULD COME TO A BAD END.

THINK HOW IT BROKE POOR MISS BRIDGET'S HEART,

AMY STEALING HER JOHNNY AWAY, THE CHEEK OF IT!

AND I'LL ADMIT,

IT WAS NAUGHTY OF TOMMY,

LAUGHING AT MISS BRIDGET OVER IT, BUT --

WELL, I THINK WE'LL ALL BE HAPPY TO SEE HER AS LADY OF THE MANOR.

IT'S HERS BY RIGHT, AFTER ALL.

YES, THAT'S INTERESTING.

BUT, MRS. PIERCE, DID I HEAR YOU SAY

AMY STOLE BRIDGET'S FIANCE?

[ sighing ] But maybe Bridget's

covering up for Easterfield.

She is protective of him.

Oh, come on, Luke, you have to face it --

she could have killed either one of them for revenge.

Humbleby for letting her father die,

Amy for stealing her fiance, Johnny,

and don't forget, she lied to you about that.

She said he left her for a rich widow.

[ CLICK ]

AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, LUKE?

[ DIALING ROTARY PHONE ]

[ KNOCKING ]

[ KNOCKING ]

Luke: I WAS HOPING YOU WERE STILL AWAKE,

SO I COULD SAY THAT I'M SORRY

ABOUT THIS AFTERNOON.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

AND I WANTED TO SAY

I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A GREAT MISTAKE,

GOING FOR EASTERFIELD

WHEN YOU COULD HAVE ME.

BUT THERE'S NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.

AND -- I NEED YOUR HELP.

HA HA HA HA!

YOU IDIOT!

I DON'T SUPPOSE ANY OF THIS COULD HAVE WAITED TILL MORNING?

OH, IT COULD.

BUT I WANTED TO TEST

YOUR REACTIONS TO STRESS.

HOW AM I DOING?

YOU PASS.

NOW WILL YOU GO SOMEWHERE WITH ME TOMORROW?

I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT.

REMEMBER?

Man: BUT NOW HE'S GOT THE WIND UP ABOUT ALL THIS,

WHAT TO STOP HIM LAYING THE BLAME ON ME?

Bridget: OH, RIVERS, REALLY!

YOU'RE BLOWING THE THING ENTIRELY OUT OF PROPORTION!

THEN YOU'LL HAVE NO OBJECTION TO ME TELLING HIM, WILL YOU?

YOU KNOW WHAT A TEMPER HE HAS.

I DON'T LIKE BEING QUESTIONED!

RIVERS, REALLY, IT WAS NOTHING!

YOU NEEDN'T CONCERN YOURSELF.

BUT HE HAS TO BE TOLD!

ALL RIGHT, RIVERS! I'LL TELL HIM.

BUT PLEASE BE GOOD ENOUGH TO LET ME DO IT IN MY OWN WAY.

WELL, MAKE IT SOON, MISS,

OR I SHALL TELL HIM MYSELF.

THAT WOULD BE VERY FOOLISH, RIVERS,

VERY FOOLISH.

YOU'RE CERTAIN THAT YOUR FRIEND JIMMY

SAID TO COME HERE?

MM-HMM.

YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU'RE PERPLEXED.

COME ON.

LUKE, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

AH.

WE, MY DEAR, ARE GOING TO FIND OUT

WHO THE KILLER REALLY IS.

YOU'RE JOKING.

NO, I'M NOT.

WE ARE GOING TO GET THE HELP WE REALLY NEED.

NOW IF YOU WILL JUST SIT DOWN.

AFTER YESTERDAY,

I DECIDED IT'S MUCH TOO COMPLICATED

FOR US TO FIGURE OUT BY OURSELVES,

SO I AM GOING TO PROGRAM

EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE MURDERS

INTO THE COMPUTER

AND IT IS GOING TO TELL US

THE NAME OF THE MURDERER.

YOU ARE JOKING.

BRIDGET, THIS IS MY BREAD AND BUTTER.

IT'S JUST A QUESTION OF RELATIVE PROBABILITIES

IF WE PROGRAM IT PROPERLY.

[ PROCESSING ]

Luke: NOW HERE ARE THE NAMES OF THE SIX VICTIMS.

Bridget: WHAT DOES IT SAY?

WELL, IT IS ASKING

HOW THE VICTIMS WERE KILLED,

AND WE DON'T KNOW THAT IN ALL CASES.

[ PROCESSING ]

Luke: AT LEAST, WE KNOW

WHAT KILLED THEM.

DO YOU EVER STOP TO THINK

HOW SMART THE KILLER MUST BE?

KILLED EVERY ONE OF THEM IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

I KNOW, IT'S TERRIFYING.

[ PROCESSING ]

MOTIVES, NOW THAT'S A TOUGHIE.

BETTER JUST INPUT THE CLASSICS FOR NOW,

AND HOPE THAT WE HIT IT.

YOU KNOW, LUST, GREED, FEAR.

WHAT ELSE?

REVENGE?

AH.

[ PROCESSING ]

Bridget: OPPORTUNITY?

THAT MEANS WHO WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE

AT THE RIGHT TIME, I SUPPOSE?

BUT THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW THAT.

EXCEPT IN THE CASE OF MISS FULLERTON.

WOULD YOU AGREE THAT WHOEVER KILLED MISS FULLERTON

PROBABLY KILLED ALL THE OTHERS?

YES.

BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO COULD HAVE KILLED HER?

BECAUSE SHE WAS KILLED ON DERBY DAY

AND WE NOW KNOW

WHO WAS ABSENT FROM THE VILLAGE

ON THAT DAY.

THAT'S WHY YOU WERE ASKING EVERYONE

ABOUT THE DERBY.

OH, LUKE, YOU ARE CLEVER.

Luke: OUR LEADING CANDIDATES.

FIRST ABBOT,

THE ATTORNEY, A WOMANIZER.

ELLSWORTHY,

PROBABLY THE LAST PERSON TO SEE AMY ALIVE.

MAJOR HORTON,

WHOSE WIFE DIED MYSTERIOUSLY.

AND DR. THOMAS,

WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT DRUGS.

THERE MUST BE OTHERS.

WELL, I DID CHECK UP ON A COUPLE OF OTHER PEOPLE.

THERE'S ME, OF COURSE.

I WAS IN LONDON THAT DAY, TOO.

YOU MEAN WITH EASTERFIELD?

SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU,

BUT I KNOW WHERE GORDON WAS,

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I WAS.

BRIDGET, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.

I'M NOT KEEPING A LIST

ON EVERYBODY IN WYCHWOOD, YOU KNOW,

JUST THOSE I HAVE EVERY REASON TO SUSPECT.

THOUGHT PERHAPS YOU DID SUSPECT ME.

YOU SAID I WAS A --

"COLD-BLOODED GOLD DIGGER."

WHY NOT A COLD-BLOODED KILLER?

HEY, I SAID I WAS SORRY. AND AFTER LAST NIGHT --

THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO BE SURE.

I GUESS YOU THINK

I'M PLAYING SOME STUPID LITTLE GAME OR SOMETHING.

I HAPPEN TO BELIEVE IN THIS STUFF

AND I'M VERY DAMN GOOD AT IT!

I'M SORRY!

IT JUST ALL SEEMS

SO FANTASTIC TO ME.

NO, NO, NO!

YOU WANT YOUR NAME IN, I'LL PUT YOUR NAME IN, OKAY?

[ SIGHS ]

NOW WE'RE READY. AT LEAST, I AM.

ARE YOU?

FOR WHAT?

TO FIND OUT WHO THE KILLER IS.

ARE YOU READY?

OH, LUKE.

[ CLICK ]

[ PROCESSING ]

Jimmy: CHEERS. THANK YOU.

BOY, IF YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HER FACE

WHEN HER NAME POPPED UP ON THAT COMPUTER.

AND I THOUGHT GORDON WAS A CHILD.

REALLY, LUKE, YOU HAVE A MOST PECULIAR

SENSE OF HUMOR.

THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MAKE FUN OF MY WORK.

AND WHY SHOULDN'T I?

AFTER ALL THAT, YOUR MARVELOUS COMPUTER

STILL COULDN'T COME UP WITH THE NAME OF THE REAL KILLER.

LUKE.

AM I TO UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE PUT

THE ENTIRE RESOURCES OF OXFORD UNIVERSITY

AT YOUR DISPOSAL

SO THAT YOU CAN PLAY A JOKE ON THIS POOR GIRL?

IT'S NOT A JOKE, JIMMY.

DO YOU MEAN TO SAY BRIDGET'S THE MURDERER?

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE,

I JUST KNOW THAT I HAD SOME PRETTY GOOD REASONS

FOR SUSPECTING HER, SO I --

I THOUGHT THAT IF I,

IF I HAD HER NAME FLASH ON THAT SCREEN,

SHE'D COME UNGLUED, SHE'D TELL ME EVERYTHING --

I, I, I --

I'M BEGINNING TO REMEMBER NOW

WHY I DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE.

LOOK HERE, OLD FRIEND.

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE UP ALL THIS SLEUTHING NONSENSE

AND GO TO THE AUTHORITIES.

JIMMY.

I'M IN LOVE WITH HER.

WELL DONE.

BUT IF YOU KNOW SHE'S GUILTY --

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE.

RIGHT NOW, IT'S ALL SPECULATION.

YES, BUT WHAT IF SHE IS?

I DON'T KNOW.

[ SIGHS ]

BUT I AM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH THE ONE WOMAN

WHO REALLY KNOWS THE TRUTH.

[ RING ]

Waynflete: WHO IS IT?

MISS WAYNFLETE, IT'S LUKE WILLIAMS.

[ UNLOCKS DOOR ]

OH, MR. WILLIAMS.

SOMEONE TRIED TO KILL ME!

ON MY WAY HOME, I STOPPED

TO GIVE THOSE PETUNIAS A BIT OF WATER.

I WAS SIMPLY STANDING HERE

WHEN THIS THING WHIZZED PAST MY HEAD

FROM UP THERE.

I DIDN'T DARE TOUCH IT.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE?

NO, I WAS SO FRIGHTENED, I WENT STRAIGHT HOME.

ELLSWORTHY.

Rivers: TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. I DON'T BLAME HER.

DON'T TELL LIES TO ME, RIVERS. YOU UNGRATEFUL LOUT.

YOU'RE FIRED. FIRED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

WHAT'S MORE, YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS.

DON'T WORRY! I'M OFF!

AND IT'S YOU WHO ARE GOING TO REGRET THIS,

YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOT!

Easterfield: HONORIA, I'M SORRY

YOU SHOULD HAVE TO WITNESS SUCH A DISGRACEFUL SCENE,

BUT THAT MAN --

GORDON, WHAT ON EARTH'S HAPPENING?

IT'S NOTHING, MY DEAR.

I'VE JUST DISMISSED RIVERS.

RIVERS?

GORDON, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?

NOTHING, MY DEAR, THAT NEED BE REPEATED.

JUST A PACK OF FILTHY LIES.

HOW DARE HE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!

NOW, GORDON,

YOU REALLY MUST TRY NOT TO GET UPSET.

SOMETHING VERY SERIOUS

SHALL HAPPEN TO THAT YOUNG MAN,

YOU MARK MY WORDS.

YES, YES, GORDON, I'M SURE IT WILL.

OH, LUKE!

LUKE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

NOTHING, NOTHING IS WRONG ANYMORE,

AND THAT'S THE WONDERFUL PART.

I LOVE YOU, AND EVERYTHING IS OKAY NOW.

LUKE, WILL YOU WAIT A MOMENT?

YOU'VE GOT ME SO CONFUSED, I CAN'T THINK.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL JUST TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME.

NUMBER ONE IS THAT I LOVE YOU.

NUMBER TWO, I'VE BEEN ABSOLUTELY WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I REALLY DO KNOW WHO THE MURDERER IS NOW.

SHE KNEW? MISS WAYNFLETE KNEW?

IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE I KNOW NOW.

IT'S ELLSWORTHY.

ELLSWORTHY?

YES, YES, I WILL EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS TO YOU LATER,

BUT RIGHT NOW, I HAVE TO SEE THE CONSTABLE.

LUKE, WAIT.

MAYBE YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT ELLSWORTHY.

NO, NO, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

MAY I BORROW YOUR CAR?

OH, UH, I'D TAKE CARE OF MISS WAYNFLETE,

IF I WERE YOU -- SHE'S A LITTLE SHOOK UP.

AND I REALLY DO LOVE YOU.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT.

Reed: MISTER, UH --

WILLIAMS, ISN'T IT?

YES.

WELL, MR. WILLIAMS,

I DO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.

AND IT'S A COLORFUL STORY, HEAVEN KNOWS.

BUT YOU SEE, SIR,

HERE IN ENGLAND,

WE REALLY DO PREFER

SOMETHING IN THE NATURE OF SOLID EVIDENCE

BEFORE WE --

GO ABOUT ARRESTING PEOPLE.

"SOLID EVIDENCE"?

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?

I SAW IT IN ELLSWORTHY'S SHOP.

UH, WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS, UH --

OOH!

CERTAINLY SOLID, AT ANY RATE, ISN'T IT, SIR?

AND NO END OF FINGERPRINTS,

I'LL WAGER.

BUT HOW CAN YOU IGNORE WHAT --

EVIDENCE, MR. WILLIAMS,

THAT'S ALL I ASK.

REAL EVIDENCE.

HA!

[ KNOCKING ]

[ KNOCKING ]

I'VE COME TO TELL THE TRUTH.

[ DOORKNOB RATTLES ]

Bridget: AHHH! OH, LUKE! THANK GOD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME.

OH, LUKE, THANK GOD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

I SAW ELLSWORTHY COMING BACK, AND I, I THOUGHT --

HEY.

HEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO BACK INSIDE.

OH, THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES,

I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE KILLED YOU.

YOU'VE WON, YOU KNOW.

"WON"?

WHAT HAVE I WON?

ME.

IF YOU REALLY WANT ME.

IF I "REALLY" WANT YOU?

LUKE, LISTEN.

IF YOU KNEW

WHAT I HAVE DONE SIMPLY OUT OF PRIDE.

I'VE LET THE PAST RULE ME, AS IF --

WYCHWOOD WERE THE WORLD.

I DON'T WANT TO BE LADY OF THE MANOR,

NOT REALLY.

I JUST WANT LOVE.

YOU HAVE THAT.

FROM ME.

I KNOW.

I TRULY FEEL THAT.

THAT'S WHY I WANT TO GET RIGHT AWAY FROM HERE,

BEFORE THE PAST OVERWHELMS ME COMPLETELY.

TAKE ME WITH YOU.

Bridget: BUT I WANT TO GO RIGHT AWAY.

YOU WILL COME WITH ME TO TALK TO GORDON, WON'T YOU?

YOU KNOW WHAT A TEMPER HE HAS. OF COURSE I WILL.

AHHH! OH!

THE CHAUFFEUR.

[ GASP ]

Easterfield: DEAD.

STRUCK DOWN BY DIVINE WRATH.

A REMARKABLE THEORY, LORD EASTERFIELD.

WELL, THE LORD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS,

YOU KNOW.

DOES HE INDEED, SIR?

WELL, HOW CAN YOU DOUBT IT?

RIVERS ABUSES ME, AND WHAT HAPPENS?

WHERE IS HE NOW?

GORDON, PLEASE COME INTO THE HOUSE WITH ME.

THE WORD ACCORDING TO EASTERFIELD.

YES, HE'S A RIOT, ISN'T HE?

ALMOST AS FUNNY AS I AM.

IT'S TOO BAD RIVERS ISN'T ALIVE TO ENJOY IT.

OH, I TAKE YOU QUITE SERIOUS NOW, SIR.

QUITE SERIOUS, INDEED.

EXCEPT ON ONE POINT.

ELLSWORTHY IS NOT YOUR MAN.

WELL, I SAW ELLSWORTHY'S HANDS.

THEY WERE COVERED WITH BLOOD.

AH, IT WAS YOU WHO BROKE INTO HIS SHOP LAST NIGHT.

I EXPECT HE'LL BE LODGING A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU,

ONCE HIS HAND CLEARS UP.

HE CUT IT, YOU KNOW,

CHANGING A TIRE.

OUTSIDE THE, UH, WITCHES' HEAD INN.

PLENTY OF WITNESSES TO IT.

THEN ELLSWORTHY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.

THIS MIGHT BE INTERESTING TO YOU, BY THE WAY --

THE C.I.D. TELL ME THAT THE CAR

THAT KILLED MISS FULLERTON HAS NOW BEEN IDENTIFIED.

IT WAS A LARGE, MAROON CAR,

CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN.

A MAN IN THE CROWD PHONED LAST NIGHT

AND GAVE THE LICENSE NUMBER.

HE HADN'T ACTUALLY SEEN IT, YOU UNDERSTAND,

BUT THE WOMAN BESIDE HIM HAD,

SO SHE GAVE HIM THE NUMBER.

ONLY HE WASN'T SURE HE HAD IT RIGHT.

WELL?

DID HE OR DIDN'T HE?

DID.

BUT THE CHAUFFEUR HAD AN ALIBI

AND THE CAR --

BELONGS TO ONE OF THE GENTRY, SO --

THAT WAS THAT.

HOWEVER --

HOWEVER.

SOMETIMES IT'S DIFFICULT TO SEE

WHAT'S RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE.

BUT YOU SAID THE CHAUFFEUR

HAD AN ALIBI.

ON DERBY DAY, HE DROVE HIS CHARGE TO LONDON,

BUT THEN HE WAS GIVEN THE AFTERNOON OFF.

AND WHEN THE CAR WAS RETURNED,

IT HAD A DAMAGED FRONT BUMPER.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?

HE WAS ASKED TO FIX THE BUMPER

ON THE SLY.

WHICH, BEING A LOYAL SORT, HE DID.

AND WHEN HE WAS QUESTIONED,

HE LIED, BEING A LOYAL SORT.

BUT I DON'T SEE --

PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. WILLIAMS.

YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST PART.

WHEN, DESPITE HIS LOYALTY, HE WAS DISMISSED,

HE CAME STRAIGHT AND TOLD ALL.

POOR BLOKE, HE HAD NO NOTION

OF ANY CONNECTION WITH MISS FULLERTON'S DEATH.

HE THOUGHT THE CAR HAD BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT

WHICH HAD GONE UNREPORTED.

THEN --

IT WAS --

UH, BE AT THE STATION AT MIDDAY.

LUKE, WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?

NOTHING. NOTHING YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW.

PLEASE BELIEVE I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW.

NOT FOR CERTAIN.

I KEPT HOPING IT WASN'T GORDON.

BUT IT IS?

WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO YOUR FAMILY?

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST MARRY HIM ANYWAY?

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I WOULD HAVE DEFIED THEM.

I WOULD HAVE DEFIED THE WORLD.

OH, IT ALL SOUNDS

SO ABSURD.

YOU SEE,

I HAD A LITTLE PET CANARY, MOONLIGHT,

AND GORDON,

GORDON COULDN'T BEAR IT, SOMEHOW, THAT I COULD LOVE

ANYTHING ELSE, EVEN A LITTLE BIRD.

AND ONE DAY,

HE JUST SNATCHED HIM AWAY FROM ME

AND WRUNG HIS NECK,

RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES.

AND, UH, AND THAT WAS WHEN YOU BROKE OFF

THE ENGAGEMENT.

I COULD NEVER FORGET

HOW HE SEEMED TO ENJOY IT.

BUT THE YEARS PASSED

AND I NEVER SAW HIM

DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.

OH, HE WAS ALWAYS HOT-TEMPERED

AND PROUD, BUT --

THEN THESE ACCIDENTS BEGAN HAPPENING,

AND HE BEGAN TO TALK ABOUT DIVINE JUSTICE

AND RETRIBUTION.

HE RAVED ON AND ON TO ME

ABOUT HOW PEOPLE HAD TO BE PUNISHED

FOR THEIR SINS AGAINST HIM.

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID ABOUT RIVERS.

OH, MR. WILLIAMS,

I HAVEN'T KNOWN WHAT TO DO.

I'VE THOUGHT A HUNDRED TIMES

OF TRYING TO TALK TO BRIDGET,

TO WARN HER SOMEHOW.

BUT YOU SEE HOW THAT WOULD SEEM TO HER.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE,

BECAUSE THEY'RE ON TO HIM NOW.

AND BESIDES, BRIDGET HAS ALREADY DECIDED TO LEAVE HIM.

LEAVE HIM?

OH, HEAVENS.

WE'VE GOT TO GET HER AWAY.

DON'T YOU SEE WHAT HE MIGHT DO?

Easterfield: THAT FOOL AVERY.

ELLSWORTHY BROUGHT THESE DAYS AGO.

I'VE BEEN MOST ANXIOUS TO SEE THEM.

THERE -- LOVELY, ISN'T IT?

NOW WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?

THERE WAS TO HAVE BEEN A PAIR.

GORDON, I FEEL SO ASHAMED. YOU'RE TAKING THE NEWS SO WELL.

YOU'VE EVERY RIGHT TO BE FURIOUS WITH ME.

NOW ISN'T THAT A BEAUTY?

PERFECT WORKMANSHIP.

AND WHAT AN EDGE.

[ opening door ] Luke: BRIDGET?

HELLO, HONORIA.

I EXPECT YOU'VE HEARD.

BRIDGET'S DECIDED TO GO OFF WITH MISTER, UM --

THIS FELLOW HERE.

SO THEY WON'T BE WITH US LONG, HMM?

LORD EASTERFIELD, I'D LIKE TO OFFER MY APOLOGY,

IF YOU'LL ACCEPT IT.

IT WASN'T MY INTENTION TO TAKE BRIDGET AWAY FROM YOU.

THE FACT OF IT IS, WE FELL IN LOVE.

YES.

WELL.

I ONLY HOPE IT IS LOVE YOU'RE AFTER,

AND NOT THE FORTUNE THAT'LL COME TO BRIDGET ONE DAY.

UH, GORDON, WE'VE BEEN ALL OVER THAT.

I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

IT'S NOT YOUR DECISION, BRIDGET.

OH, I KNOW HOW THEY ALL SNEER AT ME,

CLAIM THAT I ONLY PROSPERED AT YOUR FATHER'S EXPENSE,

AND I'LL NOT HAVE IT.

I HAD INTENDED TO PROVE THEM ALL LIARS

BY DOING YOU THE HONOR OF MARRYING YOU,

AS WELL AS LEAVING YOU MY ESTATE.

COME TO THAT, MY DEAR,

MAY NOT BE A PROBLEM, ANYWAY,

SINCE, NO DOUBT, I'LL OUTLIVE YOU,

BOTH OF YOU.

GORDON!

Luke: LISTEN, IF YOU'RE THREATENING US --

THREATENING YOU?

HOW ABSURD.

IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, YOU KNOW.

I'M ONLY THE INSTRUMENT OF A HIGHER POWER.

GORDON, PLEASE, DON'T START.

IT'S HAPPENED EVERY TIME --

THAT WRETCHED PIERCE BOY,

LYDIA, CARTER,

HUMBLEBY, AMY, RIVERS --

ALL MY ENEMIES, CAST DOWN AND EXTERMINATED.

BUT YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU, HONORIA?

OF COURSE, GORDON, OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND,

AND I'M CERTAIN YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT YOU KNOW, GORDON, DEAR,

YOU'VE LET YOURSELF GET UPSET.

UPSET?

NONSENSE, I'M FEELING PERFECTLY FIT!

IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT?

THEY ALL DIE.

COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I'LL JUST GET MY BAG AND GO HOME.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,

LET HIM GO ON KILLING PEOPLE?

YOU CAN'T PROTECT HIM ANYMORE.

GORDON IS CHILDISH AND HE'S POMPOUS

AND HE CERTAINLY HAS A TEMPER.

BUT, LUKE, DEEP DOWN, HE IS HARMLESS.

I PROMISE YOU, THE MAN WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, HE SURE AS HELL WOULD CHOKE A CANARY.

A CANARY?

THAT'S WHY MISS WAYNFLETE BROKE OFF THEIR ENGAGEMENT.

HE KILLED HER CANARY.

SHE SAID THAT? MISS WAYNFLETE SAID THAT?

YES, SHE SAID THAT.

AND THEN, THERE'S ALSO THE CAR.

NOT THAT YOU DIDN'T SUSPECT THAT ALREADY.

WHAT ABOUT THE CAR?

BRIDGET,

HE RAN DOWN MISS FULLERTON IN THE ROLLS.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.

A WOMAN IN THE CROWD

SAW THE LICENSE NUMBER.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE ROUGH WITH YOU.

LOOK, I HAVE TO GET TO CONSTABLE REED'S OFFICE.

THE CONSTABLE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT GORDON?

YES, NOW ARE YOU COMING WITH ME?

WELL, UH --

I NEED A LITTLE TIME

TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.

IF I COULD MEET YOU SOMEWHERE --

AT MISS WAYNFLETE'S.

I'LL MEET YOU THERE LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

LUKE.

YEAH?

I HOPE THE CONSTABLE WILL BE DISCREET ABOUT THIS.

WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS NOW THAT

GORDON WILL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID PUBLIC HUMILIATION.

IF REED TROTS THIS OUT

AND MAKES A BIG SHOW --

GORDON MIGHT EVEN KILL HIMSELF

RATHER THAN FACE IT.

I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT,

GORDON A MURDERER.

I FELT CERTAIN, TOO.

BUT NOW THAT I'VE HAD TIME TO REFLECT MORE CALMLY,

WELL.

DO THINK, JUST FOR A MOMENT,

HOW CLEVERLY IT WAS ALL DONE.

AND WHATEVER OUR FEELINGS

FOR GORDON,

LET US ADMIT THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE

THE KIND OF DEVIOUS INTELLIGENCE

IT MUST HAVE TAKEN

TO MANAGE ALL THOSE MURDERS.

BUT IT'S PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, ISN'T IT?

TAKE HARRY CARTER.

HE DID LAUGH AT GORDON, AND IN PUBLIC, TOO.

AND SHORTLY AFTERWARDS, HE'S DROWNED.

AND TOMMY'S CASE WAS SIMILAR.

AND POOR RIVERS, KILLED AT THE VERY GATES,

RATHER OBVIOUS.

PERHAPS TOO OBVIOUS.

ALMOST, PERHAPS, AS IF A VERY CUNNING PERSON

WERE TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM

THAT A LESS CUNNING PERSON HAD DONE IT.

WHY, BRIDGET,

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NOTHING, I'M FINE.

OH, DEAR, I'VE UPSET YOU.

WHAT ABOUT A NICE WALK?

DO US BOTH GOOD.

A WALK?

YES, LUKE WON'T BE FINISHED FOR A WHILE YET.

THAT SHOULD GIVE ME JUST ENOUGH TIME.

LORD EASTERFIELD

LOOKS GUILTY, ALL RIGHT.

BUT THEN, PERHAPS THAT'S

PRECISELY WHAT SOMEONE IS AFTER,

SOMEONE WHO'LL FIND IT PROFITABLE

TO GET LORD EASTERFIELD OUT OF THE WAY,

EVEN TO SEE HIM DEAD.

IF THERE WERE SUCH A PERSON,

WHY WOULD THEY KILL ALL THOSE PEOPLE?

WHY NOT JUST KILL EASTERFIELD?

TOO RISKY.

ESPECIALLY IF THE PERSON WERE SOMEONE

CLOSE TO LORD EASTERFIELD.

OH.

WELL, THEN, PERHAPS WE SHOULD, UH,

QUESTION MISS BRIDGET CONWAY.

I'M SURE SHE'LL COME UP WITH SOME ANSWERS FOR US.

NO!

YOU KNOW, MISS WAYNFLETE,

YOU MAY BE ON TO SOMETHING

ABOUT GORDON AND THE MURDERS.

FOR SOME OF THEM MUST HAVE TAKEN

SOME QUITE BRILLIANT PLANNING,

TO SAY NOTHING OF NERVE.

YES, YOU DO SEE.

TAKE AMY, FOR EXAMPLE.

SHE CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE LET GORDON

PUT A NEEDLE IN HER ARM.

OH, BUT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS

TO KILL A PERSON WITH HEROIN.

I READ UP ON IT. AFTERWARDS.

DID YOU?

HOW VERY THOROUGH OF YOU.

AND BRIDGET,

SURELY IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN A SIMPLE MATTER

TO INDUCE BLOOD POISONING IN DR. HUMBLEBY.

OF COURSE, GORDON COULD HAVE LEARNED OF SUCH THINGS

FROM HIS VISIT TO THE LABORATORY.

WHAT ABOUT LYDIA HORTON?

SHE DIED LONG BEFORE GORDON WENT

TO THAT LABORATORY.

ARE WE TO BELIEVE THAT HE REALLY KNEW

HOW TO POISON THOSE GRAPES HIMSELF?

WHAT GRAPES?

WHY, THE GRAPES HE SENT FROM HIS HOTHOUSE.

YOU TOOK THEM TO LYDIA YOURSELF,

DIDN'T YOU, BRIDGET?

YES, SO I DID.

WASN'T AWARE YOU KNEW THAT, MISS WAYNFLETE.

YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT ELSE YOU KNOW.

[ RING ]

WHY SO SILENT, MISS WAYNFLETE?

I'M WAITING TO HEAR THE REST.

I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW ANYTHING.

IT'S ALL JUST SPECULATION.

PROBABLY QUITE FOOLISH.

FOOLISH?

OH, NO, YOU WERE NEVER FOOLISH.

YOU'RE QUITE CLEVER.

IN FACT, MAYBE ALMOST AS CLEVER AS THE KILLER.

I DON'T THINK YOU REALIZE

WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU LOOK FOOLISH ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT,

PROPER MISS WAYNFLETE,

IN HER PROPER LITTLE GLOVES.

YOU WEAR THEM EVERYWHERE, DON'T YOU?

BRIDGET, YOU MUST STOP THIS.

"WHY DO YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIELDS IN GLOVES,

O FAT WHITE WOMAN WHO NOBODY LOVES?"

HA HA HA! WHERE DID I HEAR THAT?

I CAN'T REMEMBER,

BUT IT FITS YOU PERFECTLY,

BECAUSE NOBODY DOES LOVE YOU, MISS WAYNFLETE.

NOBODY DOES AND NOBODY EVER WILL.

PLEASE...

YOU THINK GORDON DID, BUT YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU NEVER HAD HIM,

YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANYONE OR ANYTHING!

EXCEPT THAT CLEVERNESS OF YOURS,

AND THAT CLEVERNESS

COULD GET YOU INTO TROUBLE.

COULDN'T IT, MISS WAYNFLETE?

UH!

UHH!

UH! UH!

BRIDGET!

BRIDGET!

BRIDGET!

BRIDGET!

YOU ALMOST MADE IT, DIDN'T YOU?

OR DID YOU ALREADY GET EASTERFIELD,

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA!

AHHH!

AHHH!

AH!

AHHH!

I SAY --

WHAT'S HE DOING TO MISS WAYNFLETE?

Bridget: SHE'S ADMITTED EVERYTHING?

Reed: ADMITTED IT, YES, MISS.

SHE WOULDN'T BE SATISFIED TILL SHE'D

GIVEN US EVERY DETAIL.

YES, IT WAS AWFUL.

SHE WAS SO PROUD OF HER CLEVERNESS.

I KNOW.

I TRIED TO PLAY ON THAT TO GET A CONFESSION OUT OF HER,

AND SHE WAS GOING TO TELL ME...

JUST BEFORE KILLING ME.

THAT WAS TO BE

YOUR FINAL CRIME, GORDON, KILLING ME,

BECAUSE --

I WAS LEAVING YOU.

THAT'S WHY SHE ASKED YOU TO MEET HER

IN THE MEADOW AT MIDDAY, I SUPPOSE.

YOU WERE TO BE FOUND THERE,

WITH MY BODY.

AND YOUR DAGGER.

HOW ON EARTH DID SHE GET HOLD OF MY DAGGER?

OH, SHE STOLE IT THIS MORNING, OFF THE TABLE.

IT STILL HAD YOUR FINGERPRINTS ON IT.

OF COURSE.

HER PROPER LITTLE GLOVES.

POOR HONORIA, THOSE RAGES OF HERS.

DO YOU KNOW, SHE ONCE KILLED HER OWN PET CANARY,

JUST BECAUSE IT PECKED HER.

I SIMPLY COULDN'T FEEL THE SAME ABOUT HER, AFTER THAT.

THEN IT WAS YOU THAT BROKE OFF THE ENGAGEMENT?

Bridget: I TOLD YOU HOW TENDERHEARTED HE IS.

WHEN YOU REPORTED TO ME THAT STORY ABOUT THE CANARY,

I KNEW MISS WAYNFLETE MUST BE LYING,

TO MAKE GORDON LOOK GUILTY.

SMART GIRL.

IT'S REALLY JUST A MATTER

OF KNOWING A LITTLE ABOUT HUMAN NATURE, LUKE.

PERHAPS THAT'S WHY YOUR FAMOUS COMPUTER

COULDN'T COME UP WITH THE RIGHT ANSWER.

NO, DON'T BLAME THE COMPUTER.

I DIDN'T PROGRAM MISS WAYNFLETE AS A SUSPECT.

OH, DON'T FEEL BADLY ABOUT IT, MISTER, UM,

WILLIAMS.

NO, SHE EVEN TOOK ME IN,

HAD ME CONVINCED THAT THE ALMIGHTY

WAS WREAKING VENGEANCE ON ALL MY ENEMIES.

IT ISN'T ALTOGETHER A BAD THEORY.

BUT WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THIS --

HOW DID MY ROLLS COME TO BE IDENTIFIED

AS THE CAR THAT BOWLED OVER MISS FULLERTON?

Bridget: BECAUSE I HAD THE ROLLS ON DERBY DAY.

THAT'S WHY I KNEW IT COULDN'T BE YOU, GORDON.

AND YOU BASHED THE FENDER?

MISS WAYNFLETE KNEW

MISS FULLERTON WAS ON TO HER,

SO SHE FOLLOWED HER TO LONDON.

SHE SAW HER CHANCE

AND PUSHED MISS FULLERTON UNDER A PASSING CAR.

THE DRIVER OF THE CAR FAILED TO STOP,

SO SHE SIMPLY GAVE YOUR LICENSE NUMBER

TO A MAN IN THE CROWD.

BUT HOW DID SHE MANAGE ALL THE OTHER MURDERS?

SOME ARE OBVIOUS,

BUT WHAT ABOUT HUMBLEBY, FOR EXAMPLE?

NOW WHEN HUMBLEBY WENT TO VISIT HER,

MISS WAYNFLETE RAN HER SCISSORS

INTO HIS RIGHT HAND

AND THEN INSISTED ON BANDAGING IT.

BUT FIRST, SHE INFECTED THE BANDAGE

WITH DISCHARGE FROM WONKY-POOH'S EAR.

GOOD LORD.

IF YOU'LL FORGIVE ME.

Bridget: AND THE OTHERS?

SHE, UH, SHE KILLED LYDIA HORTON

WITH GARDEN SPRAY ON THE GRAPES,

LITTLE BY LITTLE.

AND THEN, THE NIGHT THAT AMY CAME HOME

FROM LONDON,

MISS WAYNFLETE BROUGHT HER

A NICE CUP OF TEA,

LOADED WITH HEROIN.

Reed: IMAGINE THE OLD WITCH DOING ALL THAT

JUST BECAUSE HIS LORDSHIP

JILTED HER SO LONG AGO.

ALL FOR REVENGE.

YES.

HER ONE MASTER PASSION

SWALLOWED UP THE REST.

EH, BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR?

UH, "ESSAY ON MAN," EPISTLE TWO.

OH, YES.

BUT IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SO MUCH LOVE

COULD TURN INTO SO MUCH HATE.

IS IT?

EXCUSE ME.

I MUST GO TO GORDON.

I STILL LIKE YOUR SQUAD CAR.

WE HAVE RETURNED TO THE USE OF THE BICYCLE

IN THE INTEREST OF ECONOMY,

ENVIRONMENT,

AND, IF I MAY SAY SO, SIR,

EFFICIENT POLICING.

GORDON'S ALREADY HARD AT WORK

ON HIS NEXT SERIES OF ARTICLES,

"FAMOUS FEMALE CRIMINALS THROUGHOUT THE AGES."

HE SAYS HE'S FAR TOO BUSY A MAN

FOR MARRIAGE, ANYWAY.

GOOD.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE GOING WITH ME?

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY GO OFF WITH A MAN

WHO THINKS ME CAPABLE OF MURDER?

AND LOVES YOU ANYWAY.

I GUESS I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT I COULD GET THAT LUCKY,

TO HAVE WHAT I WANT.

TO HAVE YOU.

TOO IMPROBABLE FOR YOU?

WELL, AT LEAST YOU KNOW THE WORST ABOUT ME.

THAT OUGHT TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING.

DO I?

NO MORE QUESTIONS? NO MORE CURIOSITIES?

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT.

WHERE DID YOU GO ON DERBY DAY?

I WENT TO SEE JOHNNY.

JOHNNY? YOU'RE KIDDING.

I THOUGHT HE WAS NO GOOD, I THOUGHT HE JILTED YOU.

HE WAS, HE DID.

I JUST WANTED TO BE SURE, THAT'S ALL.

I TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIM

AND I REALIZED WHAT AN IDIOT I'D BEEN

AND I LEFT.

[ CAR ENGINE HUMS ]

I SEEM TO HAVE THE HABIT OF CHOOSING THE WRONG MAN,

HAVEN'T I?

HELLO, YOU TWO.

THOUGHT I'D JUST POP BY,

MAKE SURE YOU WERE STILL ALIVE.

I HOPE SO.

SPLENDID, THEN WE'VE JUST GOT TIME

TO MAKE THE ROYAL ASCOT MEET, IF WE HURRY.

JIMMY, THE ASCOT'S NOT FOR ANOTHER WEEK.

QUITE -- JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO WORK OUT

WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE GOLD CUP.

WELL, ARE YOU COMING?

WELL?

ARE WE?

LET ME REPHRASE THE QUESTION.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

LUKE?

YEAH.

THERE'S ONE THING I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW.

UH-HUH?

I MADE GORDON CUT ME OUT OF HIS WILL.

NOW I KNOW THE WORST ABOUT YOU.