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1
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Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate
is the Garden of Eden,
2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,515
but it's been a good home to us, to me,
3
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,350
Frank Gallagher, and me kids who
l'm proud of, cos every single one of 'em
4
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,358
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:22,077
They can all think for themselves,
which they've got me to thank for.
6
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,749
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why
nobody calls him Phillip any more.
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00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,112
lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for
the others cos she's disappeared into thin air.
8
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,392
And Carl. We daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons -
9
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,955
it makes it stand on end and makes him
look like Toyah, and nits love him.
10
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,072
Debbie - sent by God, total angel.
11
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,112
You've to check your change
but she'll go miles out of her way
12
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,832
to do you a favour,
13
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,599
plus lickle Liam,
who's gonna be a star some day.
14
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:54,272
Sheila, me bird, couldn't be happier.
One plate short of a full set, like.
15
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,471
And fantastic neighbours Kev
and Veronica - lend ya anything,
16
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,873
well, almost anything.
17
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:03,550
Carol and Marty - the lodgers from hell.
Last of the lonely hearts
18
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,672
and a psychologist's wet dream.
Still, nobody's perfect.
19
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,077
But all of 'em to a man
know first and foremost
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00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:16,672
one of the most vital necessities in life
is they know how to throw a party!
21
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:17,948
Heh, heh, heh, scatter!
22
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,709
Come, they told me
23
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,910
Rum-pah-pum-pum...
24
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,918
'Now they say a lie can travel
half way round the world
25
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,349
'while the truth is still putting its boots on,
26
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,109
'which is right,
because lies are our currency.'
27
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,311
Bar's closed for half an hour.
28
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,708
lt's our New Year an' all, you know!
29
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,479
'There's white lies
and there's black lies.'
30
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,033
Ahl Pa-rum-pa-pum-puml
31
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,039
'And then there's the totally
fucking psychedelic ones.
32
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,514
'You know,
the ones that knock you sideways
33
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,551
'because you never saw them coming?'
34
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,716
Dicko! All right, mate.
35
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,593
Here you are, attention, everyone.
Here you are.
36
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,269
Time's upon us now. Synchronise
your watches, here yer are!
37
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,594
Ten, nine...
38
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,996
Here they are! The fruit,
apple of my eye, all four of 'em.
39
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,314
..Five...
40
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,830
l love you like the shepherd loves his flock.
41
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,916
..Three, two, one. Happy New Year!!!
42
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:25,035
Should auld acquaintance be forgot...
43
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,432
For Auld Lang Syne, my dear...
44
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,957
Eh, New Year's Resolution -
45
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,638
smoke more fags.
46
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,477
20 a day from now on.
47
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,353
And l'm gonna do more
crappy stripagram work
48
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,234
and cut out the exercise.
Might as well set realistic ones, eh?
49
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,717
Eh actually, l've got one for you.
50
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:08,038
Literature classes. You're always
going on about how you can't read.
51
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,993
Yeah, but school and homework and that.
52
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,474
l don't think so, V.
53
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,637
Unless you wanna be pulling pints
for the rest of your life,
54
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,955
you gotta put the effort in.
55
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,470
RHYTHMlC GROANlNG
56
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,192
Oh, Jesus...
57
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,355
What? What is it?
58
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,960
lt's your mam!
59
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,399
Have you eaten peanuts?
60
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,670
Only a handful to soak up the gin. >
61
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:35,914
Ah, l'm allergic.
62
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,157
- Shit!
- Well, you could have mentioned it!
63
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,236
Help, somebody!
64
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,114
- What have you done to him?
- He's dying. Anapapleptic...whatsit.
65
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,720
His throat's swollen up.
Get some water, Kev.
66
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,548
Two minutes into the new year
and this happens. lt's a sign.
67
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,956
Should never get involved with
married men. lt's a golden rule.
68
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,594
Please, God.
Don't make this happen to me.
69
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:04,191
l know l've strayed of recent years,
but l swear, let him live
70
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:09,155
and l'll come back to you, Lord,
if you just hear me this one special time.
71
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,679
Thank you.
72
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,952
He did it! He heard!
73
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,630
Care to help those less fortunate?
74
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,639
There's nothing more upsetting
than the sight of a sick child.
75
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:34,071
lt's surprising how generous people can be
when they're three sheets to the wind.
76
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,556
Bless you.
77
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,832
Deborah, you don't know if your parents
received the letters from school
78
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,189
- about your Liam?
- l'm not sure. ls it serious?
79
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,073
Well, it is, l'm afraid.
The Head's talking exclusion.
80
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,271
Liam's behaviour last term became
increasingly disruptive.
81
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,515
The nativity play was the final straw.
82
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,311
Did God send you?
83
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,351
No. God doesn't exist.
84
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,231
He's a made-up person,
85
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:03,114
and the Bible is all pretend stories
to make people be good.
86
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,230
God's not real?
87
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,352
We're a Catholic foundation for the education
of Catholic children.
88
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,072
Yeah, but he's only five.
89
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,031
Sinners start young, Debbie.
90
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,913
Miss Murdoch and myself
will be doing a home visit,
91
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,712
ten o'clock Monday.
92
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,594
lf you could remind your parents,
l'd be very grateful. Happy New Year.
93
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,313
Happy New Year.
94
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,319
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
95
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,511
Cops! Cops! lt's a raid!
Hide your gear.
96
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,711
lt's a raid, they've got sniffers!
97
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,638
lan?
98
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,116
- Not tonight! You can't tonight!
- Says who?
99
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,832
Says decency!
100
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,158
We've reason to believe Class A drugs are
being sold and consumed on these premises.
101
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,191
Course they are, it's New Year's Eve!
102
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,478
ln.
103
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,111
Just checking we had enough ice.
104
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,916
You can arrest me any day!
105
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,349
Get off.
106
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,316
- Fuck off.
- Ow!
107
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,119
Hey, hey! Jesus!
Who trained him to do that?
108
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,434
Yer twisted, fucking...
109
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,472
- Got one here, sarge.
- Get off!
110
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,557
(Woman) Leave him alone.
111
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,875
We'll meet again
Don't know where
112
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,753
Don't know when, sunshine
But l know...
113
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,152
Where'd you get the gear, Frank?
114
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,236
Bashed in bus stop.
115
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,317
Burnage end of Belshaw Lane.
116
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,114
But, but l did not do her over.
117
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,391
She was already dead
when l nabbed the bag,
118
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,271
hence, hence...
119
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,356
did l take the purse?
120
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,913
l did not take the purse.
121
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,996
l left the purse where it was
122
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,955
out of respect for the fact she was
already stiff as a minger's ring.
123
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:08,030
- ls that cos there was nothing in it?
- Yeah, and she stank of piss!
124
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,436
So that's theft, possession...
125
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,870
debatable whether you had
intent to supply.
126
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:19,914
Supply? Fucking come off...
Fucking...to who?
127
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,269
lt's not looking good for you, Frank.
128
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,678
lt's not looking good at all.
129
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,797
Unless...
130
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,549
On the go-od ship, lol-li-pop
131
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:39,230
lt's a sweet trip to the candy shop
132
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,669
Where bon-bons play
133
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,278
On the sunny beach...
134
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,799
Fuck off!
135
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,558
..Of Peppermint Bay.
136
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,152
Oh, he's going! He's going!
137
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,397
Hiya, Debbie. Oh, Happy New Year.
138
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,556
Debatable. ls me dad in?
139
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,079
He hasn't been to bed yet.
140
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,719
Letters from school. Liam's in big trouble.
They're doing a home visit
141
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,230
- and they wanna see one of his parents.
- And?
142
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,192
And you're one of his parents.
143
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,312
Dad, this is serious.
144
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,909
lf he gets expelled we'll have social workers
sniffing all over us.
145
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,598
What do you want me to do?
146
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,473
Promise you'll be at ours. Monday.
147
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,397
- Nine thirty, sharp.
- l promise.
148
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,351
Promise me you won't forget.
149
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,198
Cross my heart and hope to...
150
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,597
We've ran out of sprite
so l've done you a vodka.
151
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,198
Here ya are.
152
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,155
lt's your serotonin, winter blues.
Everyone gets a bit down in January.
153
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,317
Or it could be the fact that l'm bored,
knackered and skint.
154
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,113
- Try eating.
- l don't want to eat.
155
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,396
Didn't know you was going away.
156
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:18,116
- Spiritual retreat. Purifying my sinful soul.
- What brought this on?
157
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:22,233
The road to Damascus, except for me
it was the ladies lavatory.
158
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:26,637
l'm just a lonely woman searching
for love and He understands that.
159
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,114
When l needed Him, God listened.
160
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,072
- God doesn't exist!
- Liam!
161
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,712
He isn't real.
162
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,113
Get up, come on.
163
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,232
You're the only one that'll miss me.
164
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,271
Ah! l've got nits!
165
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,199
Bloody nits! Jesus!
Can things get any worse?
166
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,037
(Liam) No God. No God.
167
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,832
There's no God.
168
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,668
Liam, listen to me and listen good.
You can't keep saying that about God.
169
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,757
- Why not?
- Because it upsets people.
170
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,712
Don't say it any more, OK. Never again.
171
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:02,470
And when them nice people from school come
on Monday, you've got to be a very good boy.
172
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,351
Do you understand?
173
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,309
Sheila, it's Debbie. ls my dad there?
174
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,557
l think he's gone down with the flu.
Do you want me to get him to call you?
175
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,794
Forget it!
176
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,396
There's nothing more upsetting
than the sight of a sick child.
177
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,070
Don't want nits now, do we?
178
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,751
Come in.
179
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,351
Did you have a nice Christmas?
180
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,233
- Yes, thank you.
- Er, would you like a cup of tea?
181
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,239
Er, No, we're fine, thanks. We just need
a quick chat with your mum and dad
182
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,872
and then we'll be on our way.
183
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,469
My mum and dad can't make it today.
They send their apologies.
184
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,839
l'm afraid that won't do.
185
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,475
Three letters have been sent and not
a single one's been responded to.
186
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,433
The whole point of a home visit is so
we can openly discuss our grievances.
187
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,951
The school Governors take a very strong line
on parental responsibility.
188
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,788
Where are they?
l mean, why have they left this to you?
189
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,478
Surely you should be in school.
190
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,637
What exactly's going on here, Deborah?
191
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:07,309
Well, the thing is, they've a lot on
their plates at the minute.
192
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,033
And it's all got really difficult for them,
193
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,358
with the hospital visits
and getting time off work.
194
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,473
lt's not fair, none of it seems fair.
195
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,392
l'll speak to the teachers,
and l'll make sure they're made fully aware.
196
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,035
Can you ask them not to mention it
to Karen, his half-sister?
197
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,516
She picks him up after school.
She's inconsolable.
198
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,232
Cancer is a terrible thing.
199
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,716
You don't think it's God's way of punishing
him?
200
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,309
No, Debbie, you mustn't torture yourself
with such thoughts.
201
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,439
So here it is, merry Christmas
202
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,473
Everybody's having fun...
203
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,239
lf l hear that song one more time,
l'm gonna chin some fucker.
204
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,236
Oh, Jez,
205
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,397
tonight am l still good for them
couple of hours off?
206
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,637
- ls this gonna be a regular thing?
- l'm learning to read, Jez.
207
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,398
lt's not gonna happen overnight.
208
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,032
Well, read my lips.
209
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,832
l'm running a pub, not a library.
210
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:34,398
lf you want time off, find someone to cover
your shifts. Preferably young, sexy and female.
211
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,518
Problem solved.
212
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,278
..Granny always tell you...
213
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,793
House full of kids,
you're bound to get the odd nit.
214
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,558
lt's fucking disgusting.
215
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,956
You know your trouble?
You're too clean.
216
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,675
lf you're going out with our Marty,
you have to let your standards drop.
217
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,190
When we were kids, he used to wear
Y-fronts for that long,
218
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,992
we'd have to incinerate 'em.
219
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,190
Maybe that's where the arson started.
220
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,513
- lt won't crack, you know.
- What won't?
221
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,913
Your face.
222
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,269
l'm depressed.
223
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,151
You've food in your belly,
224
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,715
clothes on your back and a bloke
that worships the ground you walk on.
225
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,318
What's the problem?
226
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,478
l don't know...
227
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,476
You need sunshine.
228
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,397
And how am l gonna get that, Marty,
in the middle of fucking winter?
229
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,273
Unless you've got a spare grand
to whisk me off to Rio.
230
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,119
No. But l'm gonna make you happy.
231
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,878
- Hiya, Kev.
- Hiya, Debbie.
232
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,069
Start talking.
233
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,348
What?
234
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,712
- l told you to leave that on.
- Debbie, what the fuck have you done?
235
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:07,795
Nothing.
236
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,593
Bullshit. The school think he's ill.
Worse than ill.
237
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,837
One of the teachers has just started
crying on my shoulder.
238
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,190
Well, she had no right.
l specifically told her not to mention it!
239
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,879
Are you mental?
What the fuck you playing at?
240
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,593
You can't go around telling people that...
241
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,871
- Liam, mate, go and get in the bath.
- Don't wanna.
242
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,319
Do as you're told!
243
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,552
They were going to expel him.
244
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,795
Which means education inspectors,
245
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,718
which means home visits,
which means social services,
246
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,957
because, in case you hadn't noticed,
no-one's bringing us up!
247
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,835
ls that what you want, busybodies
crawling all over the house?
248
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,030
Authorities deciding what's best for us?
249
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:51,437
Cos that's what's gonna happen.
We'll all be broken up,
250
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:56,600
thrown into care, or fostered
out to the nearest friggin' taker.
251
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,632
- Why didn't you tell us?
- What would you have done, Lip?
252
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,433
- Stopped shagging for five minutes?
- Expelled? What for?
253
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,438
They think we're atheists.
He keeps denouncing God.
254
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,189
Well, where did he get that from?
Who told him God don't exist?
255
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,151
Don't blame me. l say prayers.
256
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,349
lt was me.
257
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,469
Why?
258
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,080
- Cos it's true.
- Debs, he's a little kid!
259
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,157
Exactly, so we shouldn't be telling
him lies about superior beings!
260
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:24,991
You've done some screwy things in the past,
Debs, but this takes the fucking medal.
261
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,555
So what did you tell 'em?
How did they buy it?
262
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,996
lt's a collection of different cancers.
263
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,191
They treat it with monthly
chemo sessions.
264
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,755
l've got a letter from the hospital
detailing his treatment schedules.
265
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,270
But you haven't got a letter
because he's not a fucking patient.
266
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,232
Don't worry.
267
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,478
- She didn't wanna see it. People never do.
- Maybe he just gets better.
268
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,957
- Overnight?
- No, he's right. lt's our only way out of it.
269
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,151
We let his hair grow back and pretend
the treatment's worked.
270
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,997
But it can't leave this room.
271
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:09,273
The less people know, the more chance
we've got of burying this.
272
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,309
Yeah, one sec.
273
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,157
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
274
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,192
Hang on, hang on,
l've only got one pair of hands!
275
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,672
- Pint, please.
- l ordered two lagers...
276
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,110
lt's not rocket science! How long
have you been coming in here for?
277
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,515
What do you want, love? A lager? No problem.
278
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,676
- ls it two pints?
- l asked for crisps.
279
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,597
Night school, my arse...
280
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:39,475
- Jez, can l borrow these, please?
- Yes, yeah, go on, take 'em.
281
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,714
Thanks.
282
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,353
Come on, Lillian, we're
three deep at the bar here.
283
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,791
For example, in the sentence, ''l am
going to the bar to buy two beers,''
284
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,310
we have two examples of how
the same sounding word
285
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,033
is used in different contexts,
286
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,675
but if l were to add,
''Would you like a beer too?''...
287
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:06,069
..we can see how the
third meaning comes into play.
288
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,795
Open your textbooks at page three,
and there are some
289
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,353
straightforward examples of this rule.
290
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,678
Have a look yourselves and then we'll...
we'll go through it together.
291
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,636
Just gonna nip to the toilet, miss.
292
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,111
Dirty bitch.
293
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,790
Wants me in detention.
Corporal punishment.
294
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,751
l've been a naughty boy...
295
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,313
Are you gonna be long? >
296
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,557
Erm, l'm fixing the cistern!
297
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,828
Use the other one.
298
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,030
Which other?
299
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,629
Fuck should l know?
Nip out the fire door!
300
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,319
l've nothing to bloody wipe with.
301
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,311
Cheers, mate.
302
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,073
Do people think l'm poorly?
303
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,872
No.
304
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,751
Well, sort of.
305
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,229
Liam, listen to me carefully, right.
306
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,236
lt's just a game we have to play,
307
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:37,671
so if you do exactly what l tell you to do
then we won't get into trouble.
308
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,950
So if people think you're poorly, that's OK.
309
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,514
You have to let them think that, right?
310
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,518
lt's all part of the game.
Do you understand?
311
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,597
Off you go.
312
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,678
We've got a problem!
313
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:04,319
You got any spare change there for
the Little Liam fund? Oh, cheers.
314
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,112
Thanks ever so much. Ta.
315
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,310
Got any spare change in your pockets, gents?
316
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,873
Dig deep in these pockets.
317
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,115
There you go.
318
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,755
Ah, that's brilliant, thanks ever so
much, ta. Brilliant, ta.
319
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,076
A pound! ls that it? Little kiddie
at death's door and you
320
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,908
can only manage a pound! We're sending
him to Disneyland, not Camelot!
321
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,748
Sorry to hear about your Liam.
lt's a crying shame.
322
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,758
l thought it were t'other one first - that idiot from
Oasis.
323
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:38,033
l said to Maureen, ''He can pay for
his own trip, money he's making.'' Sorry.
324
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,388
lf they've started collecting wedge
we're in deep shit.
325
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,112
How did Jez find out?
326
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,913
Father Crichton. He's touring pubs
with his collection tin.
327
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,396
- Happy now?
- l didn't know they'd send him to Disneyworld!
328
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,877
l'll go with him. They've got massive rides,
like Space Mountain, not just Mickey Mouse.
329
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,117
- This is out of control.
- There's only one thing for it.
330
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,038
We're gonna have to go down there
and tell 'em the truth.
331
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,275
Stop it before it goes any further.
332
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,679
- l'm not doing it.
- We'll all do it.
333
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,752
Thanks ever so much. Very generous.
334
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,072
God bless ya.
335
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,553
Oh, thank you.
336
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,433
Chemotherapy is a modern miracle.
337
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,959
Absolutely.
338
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,436
May l buy you a drink, Frank?
339
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,471
Absolutely.
340
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,514
- What the fuck's going on?
- Now, Dad, listen...
341
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,755
Me own kiddie. And no-one tells me.
342
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,109
l'm the last to know, as usual.
343
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,879
l have to find out in the pub, off strangers.
344
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,151
ls this how it is now?
ls this how we've ended up?
345
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,318
Me own kids keeping secrets from me.
346
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:57,319
Well, suppose l've only meself
to fucking blame, haven't l?
347
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,555
But you could have fucking...
348
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,028
My little Liam!
349
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,108
Why...? Lickle Liam...
350
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,911
He's me own flesh and blood.
351
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,793
No, Dad, look it's...
352
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,479
Community is about sticking together
and that's what we're gonna do
353
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:30,514
so it's my pleasure to declare
the Liam Gallagher Appeal officially open.
354
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,030
APPLAUSE
355
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,870
- Frank. l came as soon as l heard.
- Oh, Mum, listen...
356
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,469
Not now. lf we tell them, everyone'll know.
357
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,158
Liam dying!
358
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,431
lt's a wonder you can remember
what he looks like.
359
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,311
Who rattled your fucking cage?
360
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:55,309
When did you last spend the day
with him? Take him out. Have fun.
361
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:56,759
Call yourself a father.
362
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,631
Hang on a minute... Fuckin'...
363
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,639
She's right, Frank. He needs his father.
They all need their father.
364
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:07,310
We should be there for them,
like proper parents.
365
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,989
Well, well, yeah, yeah, course. l mean...
366
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,678
We could move in!
367
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,917
Then we'd all be together.
Me, you and the kids.
368
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,236
One big happy family under the same roof.
369
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,840
(We need to talk.)
370
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,072
Oh, my God.
371
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,838
He's like summat from Chernobyl.
372
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,633
(Kev) Debbie needs to see a shrink.
373
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,716
How cracked have you got to be
to make summat like that up?
374
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,389
She's a young girl trying to bring up a kiddie
that doesn't belong to her.
375
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,637
- We should be praising her.
- For making up cancer, Veronica?
376
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,274
For coping, with no parents
377
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,835
and a bunch of brothers who expect her
to behave like their mother.
378
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,314
They're gonna kill us, you know that.
379
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:52,273
Hundreds of pounds have gone in.
Wages, benefits. For what?
380
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,753
lt's a fucking sham.
381
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,190
lf we tell people the truth,
what's the worst that can happen?
382
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,238
Remember Teresa Tyler.
383
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,715
Read all about it!
384
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,399
Fake charity woman torched from home.
385
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,476
Heartless bitch in fear of her life!
386
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,476
Read all about it!
387
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:15,310
lf they think you've used a kid to extort money,
they will build a fucking bonfire.
388
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,271
We could just say it was a mistake.
389
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,438
Like we thought he had cancer,
but we found out it was really mumps.
390
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,277
Least l'm trying.
391
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,949
We've gotta keep schtum, even if it means
not telling me dad and Sheila.
392
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,198
- You can't let 'em think he's dying.
- He can't be trusted!
393
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,789
lt's only for a few days. When it blows over
we'll tell them the truth.
394
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:39,834
lt won't do Frank any harm to love
his son a bit harder, will it?
395
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,711
You finished talking about me now?
396
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,398
We can't just move in there, Sheila.
397
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,715
He needs a mother, Frank.
398
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,228
Yeah, but they've done all right so far.
399
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,398
- Frank, he's your son! Come on.
- l know that, but...
400
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:05,594
lt's like Marti Caine said,
''You should go into battle
401
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,757
- ''like it's your worst enemy.''
- Look what happened to her.
402
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,432
LAUGHlNG
403
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,311
Laugh all you like.
404
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,191
l borrowed these off your mam!
405
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,837
- Where's everyone gonna sleep?
406
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,474
- See?
- Aren't these two gonna want their own room?
407
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,590
We'll have to convert the living room
into a granny flat,
408
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,474
then no-one will be able to get next door.
We won't have any privacy.
409
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:39,548
Not that we've got anything to hide or anything,
but we are adults, with very adult needs.
410
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,912
No, no. No, Sheila, it's not gonna work.
411
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,191
l don't know, the logistics are all to cock.
412
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,360
l'm gonna have to sit down
and rethink... What the fuck...?
413
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,231
What's this?
414
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,714
ls this normal?
Who thinks this is normal?
415
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,638
- lt's for Sue's depression.
- Lifting or deepening?
416
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,796
- What's going on?
- They're moving in.
417
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,434
- Says who?
- Someone could have told us.
418
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,152
You don't even fucking live here.
419
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,397
Never mind, there's more than
enough room for everyone.
420
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,477
Come on, Sue,
you can help me with the cleaning.
421
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,671
- l can't clean. The dust gives me migraines.
- Come on.
422
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,478
SQUAWKlNG
423
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,637
Present for Sue.
Pets are good for depression.
424
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,314
OK, everyone, see you next week.
425
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,430
So, how did you get on?
426
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,512
Five out of five. Excellent.
427
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,793
You're like, erm, teacher's pet.
428
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,632
l've gotta go, miss.
429
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,159
Ta-ra.
430
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,719
ENGlNE SPLUTTERlNG
431
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,071
What the fuck?
432
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,072
Billy! This fucking car you sold me!
433
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,031
You told me it wasn't a ringer!
434
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,799
Bought as seen.
And that was five years ago.
435
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,196
Now, fuck off. Our Satan's got a badger.
436
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,078
l guess you'll be needing a lift.
437
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,198
Well, this is as close as l go.
438
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,629
After this, it's straight to my place.
439
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,236
So...
440
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,037
..what's it to be, Kev?
441
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,550
Look, the thing is, Serena,
l've got a girl at home
442
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,990
and, much as l would like to...
443
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,270
she'd tear me dick off.
444
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,673
She'd never know.
445
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:03,038
ln my experience, women always know.
446
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,798
Suit yourself.
447
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,076
But l know you're interested,
448
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:15,071
or you wouldn't have to keep nipping off
for a wank halfway through my lessons.
449
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,588
l'm gonna have you, Kev,
450
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,918
so if l were you, l would just...get...
451
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,155
used to the idea.
452
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,999
Thanks for the lift.
453
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,954
Hey. There's kiddies dying
and you're doing that!
454
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,797
Go on, ya dirty bastard!
455
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:01,353
Go on!
456
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,678
Sheila, love, slow down.
457
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,110
l've got a house full of people
with hungry stomachs.
458
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:28,995
- When will we get a chance to eat all this?
- We need to conserve our energy.
459
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,999
l've done breakfast, dinner and tea -
whatever's left can be frozen.
460
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,951
They can all look after themselves -
461
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,117
what do you think they did before we moved in,
starved?
462
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,152
l mean, look at 'em,
none of 'em are wasting awa...
463
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:53,039
Just stop fuckin' cookin', will yer?
You're like a woman possessed.
464
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,709
We need food, Frank.
lt's what keeps us healthy.
465
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,389
Besides, little Liam's
enjoying himself, aren't you?
466
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,557
Mummy's little helper.
Oh, my risotto'll be turned to mud.
467
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:14,511
lf you're looking for drugs,
they hide 'em in the cistern.
468
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,678
No, no, l was just... Just a bit of dope
or summat, just take the edge off.
469
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:24,477
l mean, what with your brother
and it's being back here... lt's all a bit of a...
470
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,158
Dad.
471
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,236
About Liam...
472
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,679
The thing is...
473
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,676
What the fuck you both doing in here?
474
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,233
Looking for your drugs.
475
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,350
Well, good luck, cos l ain't got any.
476
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:41,474
No gear?! You call yourself a fuckin'
teenager! Hey... where's lan's stash?
477
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,353
You've gotta stop Jez,
she's talking to a journalist.
478
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,515
You're joking.
479
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,950
- She's arranging a charity day.
- Jesus!
480
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,672
We'll have to tell her the truth.
481
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,474
Jez! Are you out of your mind?
She'll sack the pair of us.
482
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,195
We can't let it go in the papers -
if she starts checking details,
483
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,390
we'll be hung out to dry.
484
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,113
l didn't go telling everyone
he had fucking cancer.
485
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,674
- Neither did l.
- You didn't stop it when you found out.
486
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,269
- l was trying to protect Debbie.
- Yeah, and look where that's got us!
487
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,278
- Hey, what's going on?
- We've got a problem.
488
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,676
Events, celebrities, fairground...
489
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:32,350
the entire day with one aim -
helping a sick child in his hour of need.
490
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,597
And l assume you'll be contributing
the profits from the bar.
491
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,474
Don't push it, sweetheart.
l've a living to earn, you know.
492
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:44,071
OK, think l've got everything.
Right, l wanna get a snapper down,
493
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,997
get a shot of Liam and his family.
494
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,314
Front page spread?
495
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,397
That depends if there's a murder.
Sick kids are good,
496
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,273
but there's only one,
and nothing beats a murder.
497
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,312
Let me know when you've
confirmed a celebrity.
498
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,396
This day for little Liam, what you calling it?
499
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,158
Liam Day!
500
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:03,839
Bitch.
501
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,711
We're finished.
502
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,354
Maybe not. Cover for me.
503
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,949
- Where's Kash?
- Er, in the back. Kash!
504
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,150
Cancer wrist bands?
505
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,395
Yep, l'm happy to do my bit.
506
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,749
They're not even charity registered.
507
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,109
They're still promoting the cause.
508
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,998
Live 8, Comic Relief -
509
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,191
do you think they all do it out of
the goodness of their hearts? Bollocks.
510
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:36,030
Every time Bono shits, he earns a million quid.
He ain't making my poverty history!
511
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,551
We're in a mess. You're the only one
that can get us out of it.
512
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:45,310
See, the trouble with you is
you put it all down to faith.
513
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,193
Faith. Faith!
514
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:53,030
Well, people haven't got fucking faith.
lt's all drip, drip, drip...
515
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,469
Drought, famine, tsunami...
516
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,559
Drip, drip, drip. Things are
getting worse out here, you know?
517
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,956
Just gettin' fuckin' worse,
so they think, ''Fuck him,
518
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,560
''let him sit on his cloud,
twiddling his beard.''
519
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,036
As flies to wanton boys
are we to the gods.
520
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,038
They kill us for their sport.
521
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,629
Fuckin' Shakespeare, fuckin' King Lear.
522
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,036
Yeah, fucking, he had it right, didn't he?
But you can't expect us
523
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,038
to like you just like that,
as a matter of course.
524
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,913
You can't expect
''O, come let us adore him...''
525
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,554
Fuck off! Where's your cure for cancer?
526
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:32,310
Where's your cure for cancer?
Where's your cure for cancer, eh?
527
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,238
Where's your help for the lickle
Ethiopians and lickle kiddies
528
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,670
with two hearts and arms
that don't fucking work properly?
529
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,713
lf you want us to have fucking faith,
you're gonna have to prove yourself.
530
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:48,312
Second Coming, parting of the waves,
something spectacular,
531
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,079
something biblical, you know?
532
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,714
Otherwise, the fucking game's up...
Whoa, whoa...
533
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:57,070
Kiss the brick, Franky boy.
534
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,116
Argh, this is intimidation.
535
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,594
You know, it's harassment.
536
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:06,110
l know how the fucking Muslims feel now.
537
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,639
lnnocent man, eh, Frank?
538
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:17,432
On the good ship Lollipop
lt's a nice way...
539
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:21,598
Got a party tonight. Big bash.
No hard feelings, eh, Frank?
540
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,076
Me son is dying!
541
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,878
lf there's one time you're allowed
to get mashed off your fucking face...
542
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,311
Little Liam.
543
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,394
(All) Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners
544
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,034
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
545
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,640
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee,
546
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,318
blessed art thou amongst women
547
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,828
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
548
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,792
(All) Holy Mary mother of God,
pray for us sinners
549
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,752
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
550
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,030
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee,
551
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,594
blessed art thou amongst women and...
552
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,835
- Kev!
- What you doing creeping round?
553
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,555
- What you doing cracking one off?
- Just fancied it.
554
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,956
- Why didn't you wait?
- l didn't know when you were gonna be back.
555
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,513
Right, what's going on?
556
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,039
What you talking about?
557
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,548
You. You're acting weird.
558
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,397
l... l'm not.
559
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:41,035
l think it's all this Liam stuff,
you know, it's making me edgy.
560
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:45,437
Liam not dying makes you
want to wank off to teenie porn.
561
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:51,872
lt's this, innit, V? l can't do it.
lt's just not happening.
562
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,672
You've only been twice.
563
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:56,712
Yeah, l know but it's gonna take
months and years.
564
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,992
And for what? To be able to do
what everyone else finds piss easy.
565
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,989
Yeah. And so you can feel good about
yourself, go for the jobs you want, yeah,
566
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,635
read the paper instead of looking at
the fuckin' pictures.
567
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,194
You are not jibbing it,
not without good reason.
568
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:14,390
l've got a good reason.
569
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:24,234
lt's full of spods, the class, you know?
570
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,236
And knobheads who can't fucking read.
571
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:29,795
l feel like one of the school spanners, again.
572
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,718
You're doing really well.
You've just gotta keep at it.
573
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,273
'Ey...
574
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:39,110
do you think l like wiggling me wares for
a load of overweight businessmen? No!
575
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,197
But l've gotta do it, because l want
a summer holiday. Same with you.
576
00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:46,518
So no more moaning,
and no more wanking - you're going.
577
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:26,513
As a representative of the local council, l'm
delighted to announce that, in conjunction
578
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:31,076
with Saint Gabriel's RC Primary School
and the local church, we've decided
579
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:35,193
to use Liam Day as a fundraiser
not only for little Liam Gallagher,
580
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:38,869
bless him, but also a number of
other sick children in the locale.
581
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,272
Miss Murdoch, Father Crichton
and myself have agreed
582
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,995
that a pilgrimage to Lourdes,
the renowned sacred home of healing,
583
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:55,239
would be the appropriate venue for the trip,
as well as a brief stop at Euro Disney.
584
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,990
The local council will be providing a minibus,
free of charge, for the entirety of the jaunt.
585
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:04,556
APPLAUSE
586
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,115
l know exactly what you're going through.
587
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,879
We lost our Toby to it last September.
588
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,388
Thanks, love. lt's the kindness of
strangers that gets you through.
589
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:27,999
Dicko!
590
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:36,758
Got some wicked new stuff coming in.
Stronger. Proper spaceman stuff.
591
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,792
Stronger the better.
l want a direct route to oblivion.
592
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,391
- l don't get it.
- What's not to get?
593
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,908
Council donates a minibus,
which immediately gives
594
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,678
the whole thing a ring of authenticity.
595
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:58,919
We fill it full of young unfortunates, send it to
France and voila, the appeal's done its job.
596
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,997
Not all about Liam,
he's just one of a bunch kids,
597
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,031
which stops that reporter sticking
her nose where it's not wanted.
598
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,469
What do you get out of it?
599
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,034
Good publicity for the council.
Plus a bit extra...
600
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,195
Viagra.
601
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,959
l've a mate in Toulouse
who imports it from lndia.
602
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,117
Thousand boxes at a tenner a pop.
Pick it up en route.
603
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,388
Amount of limp dicks round here,
we're gonna clean up.
604
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,398
We need a driver. You in or what?
605
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,959
Why not? Could do with some spare dosh.
l need a new fucking car.
606
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,314
Well, what about one of the Spice Girls?
607
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,715
l don't care... any.
Oh, but not Geri, not if
608
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,751
she's gonna bring that bleedin' dog.
609
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,438
Take That then.
610
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,233
l know we'll not get Robbie but
the rest of them can't be busy.
611
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,032
l can phone her if you like.
612
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,594
Oh, we're not having Su Pollard!
613
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,197
DOORBELL RlNGS
614
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,994
(Lip) Feeling any better, Sue?
615
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,996
Little bit.
616
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,871
You can't rush these things.
617
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,639
Depression lifts in its own good time.
618
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,229
Bit lower, Marty, that's it.
619
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,149
Me mam's here.
620
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,869
- Liam.
- Who is it?
621
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,471
l'm your mummy.
622
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,511
l'm your mummy.
623
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,959
l'm your mummy.
624
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,349
l'm your mummy.
625
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,157
SHE SOBS
626
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,668
All right, Monica.
627
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,318
(Sobbing) Why didn't you tell me?
628
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,828
Why didn't anybody tell me?
629
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,952
SOBBlNG UNCONTROLLABLY
630
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,476
He's not ill.
631
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,872
lt's all a lie.
632
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,518
lt was a mistake.
633
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,950
She didn't mean any harm.
634
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,117
lf you'd come for the home visit,
none of this would have happened.
635
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,516
Oh, so it's my fault, is it?
636
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,994
Fuckin' hell!
And there's me thinking it was you.
637
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,476
Or you, or you, or you, or you.
638
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,910
No, it's fucking Frank. Again.
639
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,111
l suppose Tweedledum and
Tweedle-fuckin'-dee knew an' all, did they?
640
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,230
- We knew.
- Yeah, yeah, just muggins here.
641
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:55,998
l didn't know either, Frank.
642
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:57,155
Oh, fine.
643
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,757
lf that's how much l fucking matter,
644
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,678
you'll be better off without me.
645
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:06,278
Frank! Frank... !
646
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,595
This is sick.
647
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,279
(Monica) This is beyond sick.
648
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:15,359
Evil fucking bitch!
649
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,351
Why did nobody tell me Fiona had left?
650
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,630
You've got me number, you could have called.
651
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,319
That's a two-way street.
Try ringing us from time to time.
652
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,193
We were managing OK until all this happened.
653
00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:53,355
There's a fundraising day Saturday.
654
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,958
You can't go through with it.
655
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,991
We've got no option.
656
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,589
Will you stay for it?
lt'd look better if you were there.
657
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,632
lt'd be like l was going along with a lie.
658
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,193
He's my baby.
659
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:09,677
When l heard that word ''cancer'',
it tore me apart.
660
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,238
Don't worry, l'm not staying.
661
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,352
Just gonna go and say goodbye to Liam.
662
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,513
Thought tonight was night school.
663
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,437
No, it's off, teacher's been run over.
664
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,311
You've not packed it in already.
665
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,433
No, no. Fucking teacher's ill.
lntensive care, life support.
666
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:44,678
They've had to call the priest in,
not even sure if she's...she's...
667
00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:46,153
l can't bleedin' go, can l?
668
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:50,034
- Why not?
- Because the teacher's hitting on me.
669
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,833
l'm frightened l'm gonna end up boning her.
670
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,519
No, it's not funny, Karen. She means business.
671
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,278
Proper porno poses, the works.
672
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:58,833
And l take it Veronica don't know.
673
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:03,829
No. And as far as she's concerned
l'm still gonna go to me lessons.
674
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:08,032
- How long you gonna keep that up for?
- Dunno. As long as it takes, Karen.
675
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,591
Oh, Jesus.
676
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,558
What if she looks in me work book?
677
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,875
Me school book.
There'll be no new sentences in it.
678
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,035
Well, write some.
679
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:21,277
Got a bit of a problem there, Karen.
680
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,072
You couldn't help us, could you?
681
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,509
Bring it here, then.
682
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,596
Ta.
683
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:33,868
Are you back?
684
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,314
How was strip-o-gram?
685
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,999
Some jug-eared tosspot's 40th.
686
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,953
He got a lob on though, so l must have
been doing summat right.
687
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,228
How was college?
688
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,633
Oh, crap.
689
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,797
Well, we did do that quick brown fox thing.
690
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:58,989
What's that?
691
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:04,353
You know.
The ''Quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog''.
692
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,518
Look, it's a sentence, right,
using every letter in the alphabet.
693
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,313
Good, innit?
l were well impressed.
694
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,032
Learn something new everyday.
695
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,149
You're not kidding.
696
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,349
What?
697
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,960
You've not been, have you?
698
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,228
Yeah, course l have. Look.
699
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,478
''Dear Veronica, l can't go to night school
cos the teacher is a horny little bitch
700
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,159
''who keeps flashing me her fanny.
Sorry, love, Kev.''
701
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,031
Kev!
702
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,358
l was gonna tell you but l thought
you'd rip her eyes out.
703
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:36,393
Veronica, she's a fucking predator, right.
lt's sexual harassment.
704
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,477
lf l was a bird,
l could have her up in court.
705
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,637
Men, you are pathetic. Can you not
trust yourself not to shag someone?
706
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,638
She wouldn't leave me alone, right.
707
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,274
She said she was gonna have me,
no matter what.
708
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,517
l felt like l were being
unfaithful just looking at her.
709
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,835
l only wanted to learn to read.
710
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,872
lt's not my fault l'm irresistible.
711
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,150
So much for bettering myself.
712
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,794
Gonna be pulling pints for the rest of me life.
713
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:10,190
- l can teach you to read.
- Wouldn't that drive you potty?
714
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,549
Probably.
715
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:17,549
But we're a couple, aren't we,
and sometimes that means doing things
716
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,433
for the benefit of the other.
717
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,756
lt's all the rage. Corporates,
bisexual birthdays. We'll clean up.
718
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:32,351
l can't take me kit off in
a room full of strangers, V.
719
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,197
You'll be fine.
720
00:48:34,240 --> 00:48:36,595
Packet like yours,
they'll be all over yer.
721
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,349
l can't do it, V. One chipolata gag,
l'll be a gibbering wreck.
722
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,358
Fine, Kev. Could have doubled
our income as a strip-o-gram
723
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,039
and l could've taught you to read
into the bargain.
724
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:55,951
Can't l be a cowboy?
725
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,274
Frank.
726
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,835
Say petrol. Petrol.
727
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,874
(Marty) Say bonfire.
728
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,434
l guess he didn't come back.
729
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:11,871
l expect he must have slept at home.
At our old house.
730
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,192
(Marty) Matches...
731
00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:15,434
(Debbie) l'm really sorry, Sheila.
732
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,916
The last thing we wanted
was to hurt you or me dad.
733
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:20,188
You just...
734
00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:23,038
..Couldn't be trusted.
735
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:24,274
Bucket biff!
736
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:25,958
(Parrot) Bucket biff.
737
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,029
He did it.
738
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:31,596
Help us get through this, Sheila,
please, we need you.
739
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:32,914
Really?
740
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,277
(Parrot) Bucket biff!
741
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,991
BRASS BAND PLAYS
742
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,996
Good afternoon, everybody,
and thank you all for coming.
743
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,874
The time is 12.30,
the place is Chatsworth, England.
744
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,559
Welcome to Liam Day!
745
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,397
lf we get through this,
it'll be a fuckin' miracle.
746
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,034
Just gotta keep our nerve.
747
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:03,151
Few hours, it'll all be over.
748
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:21,793
Oi! You lot, off!
749
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,798
lf you wanna bounce,
go and shag your sister.
750
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,437
(Boy) Fuck off, you mean cow.
751
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,232
lt's only a quid down the offie.
752
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,316
Piss off down the offie then, Billy.
753
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,669
Ring Debbie, tell her we want
the star of the show here by two.
754
00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:34,835
And get your wristband on.
755
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:41,069
Now l know how Geldof must have felt.
Give us your fucking money!
756
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,271
Hey, you little shit.
You didn't even pay for that!
757
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,630
What the fuck you doing? He's wasted.
758
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:50,669
lan.
759
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:54,477
BURPS
760
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,832
Look, we made a mistake.
761
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:00,074
Not interested.
762
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,554
No, it were wrong.
We shouldn't have kept it from yer.
763
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,068
Not interested.
764
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,953
But we were in the shit,
we had to make decisions.
765
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,436
Not fuckin' interested.
766
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:15,632
Well, maybe you should try asking
yourself why we didn't tell yer.
767
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,237
Ah, Dicko, the very man.
768
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,794
Come on, l need that spaceman stuff.
769
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,316
FANFARE
770
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,829
(Woman) ls that him?
771
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,150
ls that the cancer boy?
772
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,591
Why is everybody clapping?
773
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,119
Just pretend you're Superman, yeah?
774
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:12,309
Hello and thank you all for coming.
Hope you're enjoying Liam Day.
775
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,950
Today is a very special day,
because it's about our community,
776
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,913
the community of Chatsworth,
coming together in a common cause.
777
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:26,191
Little Liam Gallagher
is an exceptional child
778
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:29,994
and l'd like us all to commend and
applaud this young man's bravery.
779
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:36,599
l'm delighted to announce that,
780
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:41,236
thanks to your generosity, we've
reached our appeal target of �6,000.
781
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,158
Whatever's going on?
782
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,792
Little Liam, dying of cancer.
783
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,435
lt's a bummer, like, but at least
he gets a free holiday out of it.
784
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,836
Nooooooooooo!
785
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,916
Why do you keep punishing me?
786
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,996
Haven't l done enough?
787
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,473
(Veronica) Mum. Mum!
788
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:00,351
Carol!
789
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:05,190
Don't let it happen.
Don't let this little boy be taken away.
790
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:07,913
(OVER PA) lt's all right, Debbie
made it up, it's only a game.
791
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,110
Liam, no!
792
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:13,152
(CROWD) What?!
793
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:17,028
Debbie? ls this true, Debbie?
794
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,749
lt's a load of bollocks.
He's not even dying!
795
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,360
(Woman) lt's a con.
796
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,437
They're nicking our fuckin' money!
797
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,919
This is still a worthy cause.
These children deserve your support...
798
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,629
ARGH!
799
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,318
Help!
800
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,952
(Lip) What's happened? What's he done?
801
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,638
Dad!
802
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,877
(Lip) He's not breathing.
Veronica, he's not breathing.
803
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:56,309
(lan) ls he just pissed?
Do something, he can't be dead.
804
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,794
(Carl) Why in't anyone doing anything?
805
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:00,990
Someone call an ambulance.
806
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,235
Please, someone help. Dad!
807
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,113
Daughter's deceit leaves Dad dead.
808
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,394
SlREN WAlLS
809
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,838
Don't you dare die,
810
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,472
because who will that help?
811
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,592
Then we'll have no-one.
ls that what you want,
812
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,074
to leave us on our own?
813
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:31,509
Mum's gone, Fiona's gone.
814
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:38,398
And now you're gonna leave us.
lt's not fair. lt's just not fair.
815
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,715
So you're gonna have to live,
816
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:44,070
and that's the end of it.
Do you hear me?
817
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:48,272
l know l shouldn't have
told everyone Liam had cancer...
818
00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:53,998
..and l know you hate me
for not telling you the truth.
819
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:56,349
But you're my dad
820
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,675
and l'll make everything all right, l promise.
821
00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:01,553
lf you live,
l'll make everything all right.
822
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,352
Excuse me, excuse me.
823
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,269
Debbie. Here y'are.
824
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,432
He will be all right, won't he, Debbie?
825
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:01,871
Struck down at the moment of truth.
826
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,673
lt's biblical, is this.
lt's God's way of telling her
827
00:56:04,720 --> 00:56:06,756
what she did was pure evil.
828
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,791
Carol, zip it.
829
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,592
Don't you think l know that?
830
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,438
But l can't turn back the clock, can l?
831
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:15,072
Get off.
832
00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:20,153
Let him live.
833
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:22,873
Please, let him live.
l can't be on my own.
834
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,512
l'd rather die than be without him.
835
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,152
Please.
836
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:29,670
Frank's had a toxic reaction,
which lead to his collapse.
837
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:31,312
He doesn't work with
animals at all, does he?
838
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,351
- No.
- No.
839
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,949
Only, he seems to have consumed
a large quantity of phencyclidine.
840
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,788
lt's a tranquiliser,
often used by vets to calm horses.
841
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:42,193
- He'll be all right, though?
- He'll be fine.
842
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:45,630
Few days rest
but he's had a lucky escape.
843
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:48,911
PCP's one of the big boys,
not to be fooled with.
844
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:50,439
Oh.
845
00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:13,435
We're taking him home.
846
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:14,959
His home's here.
847
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:18,515
Liam, love, all your things are ready.
848
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:21,597
You're gonna come back to
Mummy's house for a while.
849
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:23,312
Mum, you can't just take him.
850
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,112
He doesn't know me.
851
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,390
l'm his mum and he
can't remember who l am.
852
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:28,589
Whose fault's that?
853
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,428
You know why l left.
854
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,870
Look you're all grown-up now...
Well, nearly grown-up.
855
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,639
Oh, Liam, he's so young.
856
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,830
We need to spend some proper time together.
857
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:43,474
(Monica) Come here, lovey.
858
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,431
Mam, don't do this.
859
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,313
lt's not fair. You can't split us up again.
860
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,397
You can't do this. l won't let yer.
861
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:52,509
This is nowt to do with you.
862
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,152
lt's got everything to do with me.
863
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:57,112
You wanna pick a fight,
you're messing with the wrong chicks.
864
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:58,275
We're taking him.
and that's the end of it.
865
00:57:58,320 --> 00:57:59,309
Over my dead body.
866
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,395
lf necessary.
867
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,908
(Monica) There isn't a court in the land
wouldn't support me having my son.
868
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,712
Well, we'll see then, won't we?
869
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:06,876
That's the only way
he's gonna leave this house.
870
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:07,955
Stop it.
871
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,116
Just stop it!
872
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,037
You're arguing over him
like he's a lost dog.
873
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:15,595
He's got a mouth, and a brain. He can
decide what he wants for himself.
874
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:17,278
He's a five-year-old boy.
875
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,629
Why don't you try asking him?
876
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,356
Liam, love,
877
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:34,190
we need to decide where you're gonna live,
who's gonna look after you.
878
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,959
Do you understand?
879
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,549
(Monica) So, where do you think
you'd be happiest?
880
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:43,319
With me, your real mummy...
881
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,554
..and Norma.
882
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,397
(Monica) And Norma.
883
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:51,594
Or staying here, with, erm,
Sheila and...your father.
884
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:54,313
lt's up to you, mate.
885
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,112
Whatever you choose is all right.
886
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:22,798
Some weekends, as long as
l can have him some weekends.
887
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:34,874
lt's funny. ln spite of everything
that's happened, l feel good again.
888
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,276
The clouds have lifted,
and it's all down to you.
889
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:39,719
l just want you to be happy.
890
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,118
l am.
891
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,230
With you looking after me.
892
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:46,793
(Parrot) Lazy bitch. Lazy bitch.
893
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,513
But that parrot's gotta go.
894
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:08,078
Let's get you inside. Hot bath
and rest, that's what you need.
895
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,395
You've got to start
looking after yourself.
896
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,715
l don't wanna be widowed
before l'm even wed.
897
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:18,592
Heard every word.
898
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,633
This is erm...interesting.
899
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,432
Did you make it yourself, Sheila?
900
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,038
Yeah. lt's quite straightforward.
901
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,150
lt's, erm, wine, brandy, cinnamon
sticks, cloves...
902
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,430
..Paintstripper!
903
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:36,469
Aren't you supposed to put
sugar in mulled wine, Sheila?
904
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:38,351
Sugar? l forgot the sugar.
905
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:40,197
Must have been all the excitement.
906
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:43,676
Never mind, you can add your own
sugar when you want. Here you go.
907
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:47,554
(Carol) Good health.
(ALL) Good health.
908
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,751
Unaccustomed as l am...
Erm, l'd like to say a few words.
909
01:00:53,520 --> 01:01:00,039
Sometimes, you know, it takes a bolt
from the blue to make you realise...
910
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,632
..what is important in life.
911
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,114
And, er... And, er...
912
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,037
Sorry. l'm welling up here.
913
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,674
Because just before l hit the deck,
914
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,474
thinking that me number
was up, l had a vision.
915
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,719
A sort of premonition.
916
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,796
Clear as day.
917
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:24,308
Like l could touch it.
918
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:30,638
And it was me and Sheila, together,
919
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:34,150
grey-haired and wrinkly,
920
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:39,433
in Sheila's house on Sheila's couch,
surrounded by all our children.
921
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,629
Every single one of yer.
922
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:50,676
And you were looking after us
in our dotage.
923
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:54,110
And no matter what we needed,
924
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,230
you couldn't do enough for us.
925
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:58,555
Oh, Frank.
926
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,556
No, no, all right, just wait a minute.
927
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:02,318
Let me finish what l'm saying.
928
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:04,635
What l'm saying is...
929
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,193
l forgive you.
930
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:12,074
For the lies, the deceit.
931
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:15,432
Because...
932
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:19,837
l know that, whenever l need you,
933
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:23,953
you will always be there for me.
934
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,832
Me and you are going home, our home,
935
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,348
so we can make this vision come true.
936
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,198
Yeah, Frank.
937
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:44,948
(Sheila) Cheers.
938
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:46,479
(ALL) Cheers.
939
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:54,715
(Frank) 'They say truth's stranger than
fiction, and it's true.
940
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:58,753
'l mean, the world's full of people
doing mad, sick, crazy things.
941
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,473
'Take a look around you.
You couldn't make it up
942
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:03,590
'in a month of fucking Sundays.'
943
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:07,749
What's new pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa
944
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,597
- Do you wanna drink?
- All right.
945
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:11,790
Unless you fancy
something a little bit stronger.
946
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,634
Poke my sister, you're dead.
947
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,875
You make me so fucking horny.
948
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:21,353
ls that what Romeo said to Juliet?
949
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,312
Move your fucking hand, you silly bitch.
l just need a room.
950
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:26,749
Damsel in distress needing shelter.
951
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:29,030
He's begging her, she's slapping him.
952
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,036
Who the fuck have we let into our lives?
953
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:33,873
He's not your fucking mate!
954
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,036
lt's just a normal family home.
955
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:23,639
Q-U-l-C-K.
956
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:29,038
B-R-O... U?
957
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:33,710
Wrong. There's no U in brown.
958
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,435
Ah, does that mean l'm gonna
have to have the cane again, miss.
959
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:41,519
l'm afraid so. Bend over.
960
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:48,516
(Kev) Ooh, miss.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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