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1
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:17,461
Hey, hon, come on.
2
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,728
It's almost 8:00. My show's on.
3
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,920
Un-un-uh, there'll be
no boob tube tonight.
4
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,122
Wow, Battleship.
5
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,368
Where'd you dig this out from?
6
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,524
Well, I was in the attic
7
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:26,625
looking for Twister,
8
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,327
which I was hoping
we could play naked...
9
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,197
and I stumbled upon this,
10
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,199
which we could also play naked.
11
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,314
Um, don't think I
wanna play naked.
12
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,304
How about no shirts?
13
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,708
OK, fair enough.
14
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,888
Let's get cracking. Come on.
15
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,089
All right, well,
I gotta warn ya,
16
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,224
I used to rock at this game.
17
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,859
Yeah, you better pack
a swimsuit, sweetheart.
18
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:49,883
You're going down.
19
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,250
Yeah, OK, bring it.
20
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,319
All right, it's all you.
21
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,464
All right, here we go.
22
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,488
B-5.
23
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,356
Miss. C-7.
24
00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,357
Miss. E-2.
25
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,193
Miss.
26
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,294
E-7.
27
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,462
Miss. E-2.
28
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:08,399
Miss. A-9.
29
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,702
Miss. F-1.
30
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,438
Miss.
31
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:17,643
TV now.
32
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,810
Yeah.
33
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,981
♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
34
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,651
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
35
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,564
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
36
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,589
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge tonight ♪
37
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:37,028
♪ But I don't care,
'cause all I want to do ♪
38
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,098
♪ Is cash my check and
drive right home to you ♪
39
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,936
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
40
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:48,773
♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪
41
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,487
[Clears Throat]
42
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,155
Excuse me.
43
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,657
Where's your
Raymond Burr section?
44
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,592
Um, we don't have one.
45
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,206
Uh, what's the title of the
movie you're looking for?
46
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,296
I'm not sure,
47
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:13,832
but there's a wonderful
scene on an airplane,
48
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,402
and early in the picture,
the hero mails a letter.
49
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,806
It was about, uh, yea big.
50
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,585
And it was with Raymond Burr?
51
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,510
Possibly.
52
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,647
OK, I got 7 excellent choices.
53
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,494
You pick any one you want.
54
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:34,453
OK, more than half of
these involve Chucky.
55
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,921
I'll take that as a polite pass.
56
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,857
OK, and no, no, and no.
57
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,193
Come on, these are
all stupid guy movies.
58
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,395
Uh, I think you owe an apology
59
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,964
to miss Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
60
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,300
No, I saw the
trailer. It looks stupid.
61
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,615
Hmm, sounds like someone
wishes she were raiding tombs.
62
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,672
Doug, tonight, I want
to see a romantic movie
63
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,574
about 2 people who fall in love.
64
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,177
Well, then how
about Lethal Weapon?
65
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,756
What, these guys
weren't in love?
66
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,758
All right, Doug, put 'em
back. Come on, Carrie.
67
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,748
It's not happening. Let it go.
68
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,028
Well, I found our picture,
69
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,386
Raymond Burr in
Destination: Istanbul.
70
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,498
No, Dad, tonight, I wanna...
71
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,799
According to Leonard Maltin,
72
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,703
it's Burr's finest role!
73
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,058
Fine.
74
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,903
[People Cheering]
75
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,309
[Sighs]
76
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,877
Hey, Deac, you ever
have the whole backside
77
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:37,315
of both thighs go
completely numb?
78
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,917
No.
79
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,084
Huh.
80
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,233
I wouldn't worry about it
81
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:44,867
unless it's happening a lot.
82
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,191
No, no, no, no, no.
83
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,528
What would you consider a lot?
84
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,637
Shh, shh, shh!
85
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,697
Hey, we're talking here.
86
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,809
I wanna hear this.
I wanna hear this.
87
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,468
Man: Deep in the
forest of no trees,
88
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,737
on the first day of
the eternal equinox,
89
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,574
a child is born who
will ask the question
90
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:07,179
that will change the course
of Grünian history forever.
91
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,814
Child: Why must
we live in darkness?
92
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,461
Man: The Warriors
of Grün, Chapter One,
93
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,052
opens next Friday
at a theater near you.
94
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,654
Oh, my God!
95
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,223
We are so there!
96
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,296
Couldn't be more not there.
97
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:27,165
You never read
the Trilogy of Grün?
98
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,567
It's a... It's a classic.
99
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,802
It's been translated into,
like, 50 different languages.
100
00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:34,873
He was doing so well.
101
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:35,985
He has a girlfriend,
102
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,086
started dressing better,
103
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,311
and now this.
104
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,857
This movie's gonna be huge,
105
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,525
and I'm gonna
be at the first show
106
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,583
if I have to camp
out for a week.
107
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:48,086
Have you ever actually
met this girlfriend?
108
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,022
Hey, guys.
109
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,935
Hey! Hey! Honey...
110
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,893
would you do me a favor
and unload these for me?
111
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:55,994
I'm gonna go change.
112
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,274
What'd you get for dinner?
113
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,130
Uh, some salad fixin's
114
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,677
and a nice piece of halibut.
115
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:01,701
Halibut?
116
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,502
Yeah, my dad
wanted it. It's good.
117
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,839
Yeah, it's the ocean's
answer to pork chops.
118
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,441
This is so annoying.
119
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:10,675
What?
120
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:13,378
Carrie doesn't listen
to me about anything.
121
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,157
This morning, I told her 5
things I wanted for dinner,
122
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,549
but Arthur wanted halibut,
bam, we get halibut,
123
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,118
and then last night, I
wanted to rent Lethal Weapon,
124
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,287
but no, Arthur wanted
to get something else.
125
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,656
So we gotta spend 2
hours watching some fat guy
126
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,458
chasing his own
letter to Istanbul.
127
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,794
It's so unfair.
128
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,129
You sound like my kid.
129
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,664
What do you mean?
130
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,943
Well, he always complains
that his little brother
131
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,478
gets his own way all the time,
132
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,946
so you know what
he started doing?
133
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,080
He started tricking
the little guy
134
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,249
into asking for the
stuff he really wants.
135
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,151
Now I got a
4-year-old hitting me up
136
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,375
for a Victoria's
Secret calendar.
137
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,150
Arthur!
138
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,527
Hello, Douglas.
139
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,695
King Arthur, how goes it?
140
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,096
Did Carrie get me my fish?
141
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,543
Uh, yeah, I think so.
142
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,267
Ah, halibut, very
healthy for the prostate.
143
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:12,103
If I had one, it would be
lubed to a fare-thee-well.
144
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,240
Yeah.
145
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,919
Uh, you know,
you haven't told me
146
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,854
any of your World War
II stories in a long time.
147
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,089
You were over in Italy, right?
148
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,879
Uh-huh.
149
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:25,116
I actually have a photo
taken of myself with Mussolini.
150
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,919
He's upside down, of course.
151
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,087
Oh, yeah.
152
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,466
That must have been
pretty wild, though, huh?
153
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,967
I mean, gosh, being over there,
154
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,926
all the history, the art...
155
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,761
the pizza.
156
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,297
The hookers weren't
too shabby, either.
157
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,979
I bet you they
weren't too shabby,
158
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,981
now, but back to the pizza.
159
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,672
Actually, I remember the
night before our assault
160
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,907
on the German
stronghold in Montecasino.
161
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,310
We were just expecting
our usual K rations,
162
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,212
but then this little
baker showed up
163
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:57,582
with a wagon full of
freshly baked pizza pies.
164
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,129
Mmm, I bet you they
tasted pretty good, huh?
165
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,452
Oh, did they ever.
166
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:05,323
When I bit into that warm,
crispy slice of heaven,
167
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:06,958
it was like...
168
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,961
Like all the misery
and horror of war
169
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,130
just suddenly disappeared?
170
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,265
Yes.
171
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,633
Hi, Dad.
172
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,303
I want pizza!
173
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,175
It's OK with me. I don't care.
174
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,688
I want cheese steaks!
175
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,353
I want to try the new
Chinese place down the block!
176
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,406
I want Bose speakers in our car!
177
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,481
I want fried chicken...
178
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,586
and waffles.
179
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,569
I wanna watch Crank Yankers!
180
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,543
[Laughs] Oh, yeah.
181
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,055
Warriors of Grün, huh?
182
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,057
3 days and counting, am I right?
183
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,181
Yeah.
184
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,551
Is this the line?
185
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,687
No, that's the line for the
movie that starts in 10 minutes.
186
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,390
So I'm... I'm first in line?
187
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,025
Oh, sweet!
188
00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:00,038
Hello, Dark Lord of Grün.
189
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,908
Your faithful servant is first.
190
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,152
Hey.
191
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,756
Darling, question for you.
192
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,759
Do you find me
sexually attractive?
193
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,904
Well, Dad.
194
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,884
Yes, I know you're my daughter.
195
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,187
Can't you put that
aside for one moment
196
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,055
and answer a simple question,
197
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,979
am I sexy?
198
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,615
No, I can't!
199
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,416
Why are we even
talking about this?
200
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,318
Well, usually, when I
go to the Senior Center,
201
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,387
I get quite a few admiring
glances from the ladies,
202
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,922
but today, zippo.
203
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,168
Even in the pale
blue sweat suit?
204
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,926
I was surprised, too.
205
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,262
So just tell me.
206
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,797
Have I gotten heavier?
207
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,231
You look fine.
208
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,666
No, I put on weight.
209
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,447
How can I not have with all
the junk I've been eating lately?
210
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,504
So why don't you
just eat a little better?
211
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:07,951
Funny, I always intend to,
212
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,219
but then Douglas starts
talking to me about this and that,
213
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,855
and suddenly I'm
slumped in front of the TV,
214
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,747
and I'm eating something
terribly unhealthy.
215
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,484
I want pizza!
216
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,485
Chinese!
217
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:21,486
Cheese steaks!
218
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,487
Cotton candy!
219
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,688
Fried chicken!
220
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:26,223
That sneaky bastard.
221
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,931
Hey, babe.
222
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,076
Hey, hon. How was work?
223
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,501
Good, good.
224
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,803
Listen, um, I'm pretty beat.
225
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:39,971
I don't feel like cooking.
226
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,173
Is it OK if we just order in?
227
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:43,408
Oh, yeah, sure.
228
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,887
What are you in the mood for?
229
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:48,780
Well, I, uh, passed by this
new place on my way home.
230
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,181
Looks kind of fun.
231
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:54,185
"The Vegan Café and Juice Hut."
232
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,820
You OK with that?
233
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,355
Yeah, little different,
234
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,067
but if that's what
my little lady wants,
235
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,157
I'll give it a go.
236
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,693
Oh, you're so sweet.
237
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,838
All right, I'm gonna go change.
238
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:03,906
You look over the menu. Will do.
239
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,229
OK. OK.
240
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,231
[Footsteps]
241
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,837
[Whispering] Arthur.
242
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,116
"No oil, no butter.
243
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,020
We only cook with love."
244
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,743
Arthur!
245
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,480
Is it dinnertime yet?
246
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:25,450
Yeah, yeah, come on.
247
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,558
Some day, huh?
248
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,497
City life, I'll tell ya.
249
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,566
Sometimes I wish we
just lived in the country,
250
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,068
you know, lived on a...
251
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,458
a farm.
252
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,626
Wait a second.
253
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,973
Didn't you live on a farm?
254
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,531
Yes, I did, from
the ages of 7 to 10,
255
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,534
then again at 43.
256
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,842
Wow, I bet you had
a lot of animals, huh?
257
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,906
Oh, yes, we had a
veritable barnyard.
258
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,941
What kind, exactly?
259
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,543
Everything. Goats.
260
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,678
Hmm, goats. What else?
261
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,913
Chickens.
262
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,292
Chicken. I had
chicken for lunch.
263
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:58,850
Go on.
264
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,385
Well, uh, horses, pigs...
265
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,631
Pigs? Pigs? You had pigs?
266
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,766
Oh, we had about
a dozen of them.
267
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,068
You know, they're
actually quite loyal
268
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,725
and intelligent animals.
269
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,094
And not bad eatin', huh?
270
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,662
Well, sure.
271
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,599
We would marinate the ribs
in a honey whiskey sauce,
272
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,602
then slow-cook
'em over an open pit
273
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,303
till the meat was so tender
274
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,606
it was practically
falling off the bone.
275
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,853
Mmm, I bet you
can still taste it, huh?
276
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,076
Oh, can I.
277
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,356
Yeah, you wanna taste
some tonight for dinner?
278
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,080
No can do.
279
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,782
I'm on a very strict diet.
280
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,117
What?
281
00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:34,719
OK, you ready to order, honey?
282
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,155
Uh, yeah, um,
283
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,725
I'll go with the
grilled soy cheese.
284
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:53,950
Everything was so
great, you know?
285
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,152
I was working Arthur
like a finger puppet,
286
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,586
and out of nowhere,
he goes on this diet.
287
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,577
Now I can't eat
anything anymore.
288
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:03,815
You do realize you're
eating a hot dog right now?
289
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:04,923
Yeah, I know that.
290
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,595
I'm talking about
when I eat at home.
291
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,263
You know, Carrie always
wants to eat healthy.
292
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,364
Now Arthur does, too.
293
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:10,633
It's 2 to 1. I'm being outvoted.
294
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,167
Well, you either gotta
keep eating healthy
295
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,359
or get 2 other fat guys
to move in with you.
296
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,388
That's funny. That's good.
297
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,043
Hey, where's my hot dog?
298
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,100
All right, it's coming.
299
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:26,638
Here.
300
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,205
Thanks.
301
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,486
Did we really have to come all
the way down here to give you this?
302
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,510
I mean, the cart
is 10 feet away.
303
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,779
I can't move. I'm first in line.
304
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,550
There is no line.
305
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,885
People could come.
306
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,765
So you really slept
out here all night?
307
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,988
Yeah.
308
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,556
Little rough.
309
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,025
Little rough.
310
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:51,395
Pretty sure someone touched me.
311
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,608
[Cell Phone Rings] Oh.
312
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,999
Hold on.
313
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,901
Hello.
314
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,413
Yeah, no, Mom, I
can't take you right now.
315
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,004
I'm a little busy.
316
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:04,575
I... Well, wouldn't the
paramedics be faster?
317
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,810
Oh, OK, OK,
318
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,756
all right, OK, I'm
coming... coming.
319
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,326
Guys, I gotta take
my mom to the doctor.
320
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,261
Could you guys
just hold my place...
321
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,417
No.
322
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,719
Deac?
323
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,565
Yeah, "no" sounded about right.
324
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,056
Oh, please!
325
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,335
I've been here 2 days.
326
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,669
I'm gonna be gone
for a couple hours.
327
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,638
You know what, Deac? You owe me.
328
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,040
I've done a lot
of stuff for you.
329
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,596
Yeah, like what?
330
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,765
Like when Kelly kicked you out
331
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:31,502
and I let you move into my
apartment 3 months rent-free
332
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,811
and created a home
for you and your kids.
333
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,440
Have fun, guy.
334
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,352
Can I help you?
335
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,687
What?
336
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,455
Oh, God, Arthur, you...
337
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,224
I didn't recognize
you from the back.
338
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,358
You look so lean.
339
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,038
I thought you were the
Sparkletts delivery guy.
340
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,161
Really?
341
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,295
Absolutely.
342
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:02,033
Well, I have been
dieting like a madman.
343
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,868
And it shows.
344
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,904
End of story, end of diet.
345
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:08,907
Now let's talk about our favorite
South American countries.
346
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,174
Mine's Chile.
347
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,044
Hey, guys. Hey.
348
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,412
What's up?
349
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,591
Actually, Douglas was saying
350
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,459
I might want to
ease up on my diet.
351
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,118
Oh, was he?
352
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,964
Yes, what do you think, darling?
353
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:23,587
Hmm, uh,
354
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:24,834
I've gotta be honest
with you, Dad.
355
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:28,025
I don't think you're,
uh, quite there yet.
356
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,227
Really? I do.
357
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,455
Mmm, I don't know. Turn around.
358
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:39,871
Mmm, still seeing a lot
of butter on the biscuit.
359
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,438
What rear end
are you looking at?
360
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,507
Right there, Jiggles Magoo.
361
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,520
Are you kidding? You know
what I want for Christmas?
362
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:46,978
That ass wrapped
in bicycle shorts.
363
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,792
No, he doesn't, Dad. He doesn't
want your ass for Christmas.
364
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,948
I do, I do.
365
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,394
Doug, I know what you've
been doing, all right?
366
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,929
I know you've been
using my father
367
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,697
to get the food that you want.
368
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:56,888
What?
369
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,090
Oh, come... Don't play dumb.
370
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,058
Is this true, Douglas?
371
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:05,796
So I guess my summer in Bologna
372
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,364
meant nothing to you.
373
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,799
Excuse me.
374
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:16,819
Tonight's dinner's your call.
375
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,110
I'm easy.
376
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,823
You know, this whole
thing is really your fault.
377
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,847
Excuse me? Yeah.
378
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,427
I only did all that
because... you know what?
379
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,894
I never get any of the
things I want around here.
380
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,430
I don't get the food I want.
381
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,931
I don't get the videos I want.
382
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,255
I let Arthur live in my house,
383
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,668
and he gets
anything he asks for,
384
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,603
and I'm your husband,
and I get nothing!
385
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,160
Really?
386
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,496
[Whispering] Yeah.
387
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:39,997
You get nothing?
388
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,244
'Cause I... 'Cause I'm... I'm
kind of thinking back here,
389
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,569
and I'm remembering
ordering a lot of pizzas for you
390
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,138
and watching a lot
of Stallone movies
391
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,140
that I'm pretty sure
weren't my idea.
392
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,289
Oh, and then there was
that lizard that I let you buy
393
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:55,579
that may... or may not still
be in this house somewhere.
394
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,548
And I'm sorry. I'm confused.
395
00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,184
Was it my idea to drive 10 hours
396
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,921
to the Ultimate Fighting
Championship in Dayton, Ohio?
397
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,256
No...
398
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,402
but you controlled the
radio most of the way.
399
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:11,829
OK, so what are we talking
about here, Doug, huh?
400
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,332
What things haven't
you gotten your way on?
401
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,532
List them for me.
402
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,903
I guess it was...
403
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,371
that video that
Arthur wanted and...
404
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,240
then the halibut.
405
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,744
So, 2 things? Well, 2 in a row.
406
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,296
Deac?
407
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,765
Oh, hey, guys.
What... What's up?
408
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,077
What's up, man? We're going
to check out the Jet Li movie.
409
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:50,134
What you doing?
410
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,436
Uh, nothing, just, uh...
411
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,738
just chillin'.
412
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,287
What's up with the wizard, man?
413
00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,378
Uh, that's actually...
Uh, is a friend's.
414
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,546
[Laughs] Hold up.
415
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,359
Are you lined up
for that Grün thing?
416
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,861
No, no, man. I told you, I'm
just holding a place for my friend.
417
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,930
Palmer's all Grüned up.
418
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,253
[Both Laugh]
419
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,754
All right, then.
420
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,994
Um... wait up, guys.
421
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,036
Hey, Arthur.
422
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,404
Hello.
423
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,617
You want some ice cream?
424
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,941
No, no.
425
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,911
This cottage cheese
is all I'm allowed.
426
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,526
You don't need to diet,
OK? You look great.
427
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,717
Don't, Douglas.
428
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,420
My body image is
topsy-turvy right now.
429
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:46,991
Look, I'm really sorry
about everything, OK?
430
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,104
If it makes you feel any better,
431
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,738
Carrie's really
mad at me, and...
432
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:50,973
she's not letting it go.
433
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,196
How bad is it?
434
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,098
Well, she won't talk to me,
435
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,212
she won't look me in the
eye, and I'm pretty sure
436
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,116
there won't be any
shimmy-sham in the near future.
437
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:04,675
My second wife Lily used to shut
the gate on me pretty good, too.
438
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,847
Really?
439
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:12,183
Why don't you
tell me about that?
440
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,720
I want you to have
sex with Douglas!
441
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,157
And I want pizza!
442
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:31,401
It was all right, man.
443
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,547
Kind of... [Laughs]
444
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:33,571
Wah-taah!
445
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,306
It was good.
446
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,812
Let's go that way.
447
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,116
I'm in the front of the line.
448
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,218
Been here a few days.
449
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,330
I'm just going to
go back up, and...
450
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,954
Nice wand. Excellent.
451
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,422
Oh, Vorpal sword. Brilliant.
452
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,226
Yeah. Mach Tow. All right.
453
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:56,626
Knee boots... work it.
454
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,496
I'm in front of
the line... yeah.
30822
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