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♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,906
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
3
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,819
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,911
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge tonight ♪
5
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:18,283
♪ But I don't care,
'cause all I want to do ♪
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:22,788
♪ Is cash my check and
drive right home to you ♪
7
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,224
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,726
♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪
9
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,169
I gotta tell ya, Mike, that is
one beautiful country club.
10
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,983
Yeah, I'm glad I could
take you out, man.
11
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,040
Say, you really love your golf.
12
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:45,444
Well, of all the major sports,
it's the closest to just sitting down.
13
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,313
Seriously, thanks again, man.
14
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,793
Yeah, well, thank you
for watching our place
15
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,261
next week while
we're on vacation.
16
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,362
That's what neighbors are for.
17
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,986
Oh, and by the way,
in case of emergency,
18
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,987
how do I turn on the hot tub?
19
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,734
There's a dial on
the wall, go to town.
20
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:02,627
Sweet. That resort you guys are
going to sounds pretty awesome.
21
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,441
St. Croix? It's incredible.
22
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,808
I'm gonna play
golf in the morning,
23
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,009
lie on the beach
in the afternoon,
24
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:09,011
and eat and drink all night.
25
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,970
Yuspa.
26
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,905
Oh, hey, guys. How was golfing?
27
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,039
Fantastic.
28
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,829
And F.Y.I., if I ever leave you,
29
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:18,176
it'll be for Mike.
30
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,157
You're free to
leave at any point.
31
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,285
Oh, hey, Deb.
32
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,563
Hi. Hey, good,
you guys are back.
33
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,697
What's up?
34
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,165
Honey, I just got off
the phone with Claudia.
35
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,690
Craig has to fly to Chicago
next week for some case.
36
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:32,902
What about our trip?
37
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,159
They can't go.
38
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,761
I can't believe it!
39
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,074
The Ostermans were supposed
to go with us to St. Croix.
40
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,265
Oh, that's too bad.
41
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,477
Listen, would you call the hotel
42
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,545
and change the reservations?
43
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,436
The package we got was for 4.
44
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,003
Oh, right.
45
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,323
Hey, listen, would you
guys have any interest
46
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:54,547
in coming with us?
47
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,713
Us?
48
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,182
Yeah. Sure!
49
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:58,428
Are you sure
you're not asking us
50
00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,929
'cause we just happen
to be standing here
51
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,553
and it's awkward?
52
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,832
No, we would love to have you.
53
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,066
Really? Yes, absolutely.
54
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,502
Are you sure? Yes!
55
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,991
What difference does it make?
56
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,372
We'll have a great time whether
they really want us there or not.
57
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,662
We do.
58
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,242
And, anyway, if this guy
doesn't have a golf buddy,
59
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,598
he's gonna drag me along.
60
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,378
Would you guys be
able to get off work?
61
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,669
Well, I do have a lot
of vacation time built up.
62
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,583
And my job can be
done by a monkey.
63
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,719
These are the
brochures for the resort.
64
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,220
They have all the
information, prices,
65
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,021
stuff like that. Look 'em over,
66
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,190
and just let us know.
It'll be a good time.
67
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,393
OK. Well, we'll call
you guys later. OK.
68
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,484
All right. Bye.
69
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,952
Wow! This place is beautiful!
70
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,101
Oh, my God.
71
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,023
Look how long the buffet is.
72
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,936
And there's no
mirror at the end.
73
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,495
I'm hip to that trick.
74
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,363
Uh-oh. What?
75
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,565
Look at the room rates.
76
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,867
Wow.
77
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:54,071
Maybe that's in St. Croix money.
78
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,775
You know, croiksies.
79
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,745
Doug, I really don't
think we can afford this.
80
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,558
Come on, we gotta go!
81
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,159
Hey, you remember when
Mike and Debi first moved in?
82
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,828
They thought we were freaks!
83
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,230
Now we're their first choice when
they can't get their real friends!
84
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,454
It's the comeback
story of the year!
85
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,322
I know, and I want to go,
86
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,435
it's just that we've never spent
87
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,225
this much on a vacation before.
88
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,327
So? We deserve it.
89
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,141
All right, we work
our entire lives
90
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,910
at pointless, dead-end jobs,
91
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:23,401
and we come home to
TV and stupid chit-chat.
92
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,638
What do you say?
93
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,642
Well, you do have
me re-thinking us.
94
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,110
I don't know.
95
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,311
Come on! Hey!
96
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,380
I will let you ride this turtle.
97
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,282
Or this cabana boy.
98
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,230
All right, you know what?
99
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,498
What the hell, let's do it.
100
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,522
I love you.
101
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,069
Hello, kids. Hey.
102
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,760
Whatcha got there?
103
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:49,973
Oh, just some brochures.
104
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,941
Actually, Dad, it looks
like we're going down
105
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,910
to the Caribbean next week.
106
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:58,170
We are? Ooh, I'm so excited.
107
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,839
Well, I hope you're
excited for us.
108
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,575
I see. Once again,
I humiliate myself
109
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,411
by assuming I'm a
member of this family.
110
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,091
Dad, we would love to take you,
111
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,225
but we're going
with another couple,
112
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,161
Mike and Debi from next door.
113
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:15,887
Darling, your swinging lifestyle
is really none of my business.
114
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,757
Just go on your fancy trip!
115
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,103
Oh, come on, you'll
have fun without us.
116
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,171
You can have Spence over,
117
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:22,271
and we'll bring
you back something
118
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,740
really nice from St. Croix.
119
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,874
Oh, you really think
I can be bought off
120
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,264
with some island trinket,
121
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,466
a linen summer suit, 42-short?
122
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,868
How insulting!
123
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,487
You almost ready? Taxi's
gonna be here any second.
124
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,856
Yup. I just need to finish
labeling these meals
125
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,279
for my dad.
126
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,692
I still think you should've
gotten one of those things
127
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,048
they have for cats, you know,
128
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,885
where the food falls directly
into the bowl when you hit it?
129
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,788
I know he can
learn that, you know.
130
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,493
Kids, sorry to be
the killjoy here,
131
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,138
but I don't think
this is a good time
132
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:58,162
for you to be going away.
133
00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,330
Why not?
134
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:03,067
There's a very nasty odor
down in the basement.
135
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,638
Yes, and now it's
traveled up here.
136
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,707
Old people smell.
137
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,510
Cutting-edge humor, Douglas.
138
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,479
What kind of odor, Dad?
139
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,758
It's quite noxious.
140
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,093
I've been feeling
light-headed for several days.
141
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:19,929
He's just making it up 'cause he
knows we're going away without him.
142
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,285
That's not true.
143
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:23,332
You pulled the same thing when
we were going to Ocean City.
144
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,090
I had sweaty palms
and you know it!
145
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,260
Come on, there's the taxi.
146
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,740
All right, honey,
could you just go down
147
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,431
and check it out, please?
148
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,366
Fine.
149
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,402
Come on, Arthur!
150
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,439
OK, I'm smelling nothing.
151
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,307
It's coming from this area.
152
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:44,843
I tried to get the panel off,
153
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,745
then I got woozy
and had to lie down.
154
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,698
That doesn't smell that bad.
155
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:56,933
What the hell is that?!
156
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,123
It looks like some type of mold.
157
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,503
Carrie: Hon, what's going on?
158
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,126
Just a sec!
159
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,540
Look, I got a taxi up there
160
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,442
waiting to take me to paradise.
161
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,900
Here's how it's gonna go down.
162
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:12,570
First, we're gonna
close this up,
163
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:17,709
then we're gonna close this up.
164
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,711
Carrie: Everything
OK down there?
165
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,114
Just fine and dandy!
166
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,816
It's fine! And?
167
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,117
I gave you fine,
168
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,352
but I draw the line at dandy.
169
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,530
Oh, the sky is so beautiful.
170
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,600
Yeah, it's like an oil painting.
171
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:46,037
Mmm, sea air smells
great, doesn't it, honey?
172
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,309
Somebody around
here has potato chips.
173
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,083
Thanks again for
lunch, you guys,
174
00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,391
and for payin' for the cabanas.
175
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,752
Oh, sure.
176
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,887
Tomorrow night, dinner is on us,
177
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,500
and I don't want to
hear any arguments.
178
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,601
All right. All right.
179
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:09,027
I don't think we're hearing any.
180
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,273
I hear they have this dish
here, it's called sizzling lobster.
181
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,408
It's supposed to be incredible.
182
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,132
Oh, well, slap a bib on me
183
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,335
and watch my arteries close up.
184
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:18,581
Is everything OK here?
185
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,738
Delightful, or as you
French would say,
186
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,367
It's delightful.
187
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:23,820
You folks look a little hot.
188
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:24,987
Could I cool you off
189
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,489
with a mist of Evian water?
190
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,545
Sure!
191
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,115
You do work here, right?
192
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,318
Close your eyes.
193
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,887
Ohh. Oh, yeah. Ohh.
194
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,757
You are very close
to being adopted.
195
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,559
All right, well...
196
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,394
here you go.
197
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,573
Thank you, Mr. Heffernan.
198
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,997
You know what,
here's an extra 5.00.
199
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,599
Soak through the
girls' tops, would you?
200
00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,444
Honey, where's my moisturizer?
201
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,047
Doug: What?!
202
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,282
My moisturizer.
203
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:06,551
I can't hear you.
204
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,621
I'm in the other room
of our 2-room suite!
205
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,657
Doug! Carrie?
206
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,225
Oy.
207
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,496
How great are these robes, huh?
208
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:21,077
We look like
freakin' polar bears.
209
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,034
Stop! Stop!
210
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,479
You moron! Oy!
211
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,220
For what we're paying,
212
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,121
I'm taking these robes home.
213
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,523
Hey, we said we were
gonna forget about money
214
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,769
and just enjoy this week, right?
215
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:47,970
You're right, you're
right, you're right.
216
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,172
And that means
treating the minibar
217
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,162
like it's our
refrigerator at home.
218
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,709
Wait, now I want you
to take a picture of me
219
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:56,201
with this $25 disposable camera,
220
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,435
eating this $7.00 Twix.
221
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:59,737
Come on here, right here.
222
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:01,272
There you go.
223
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,710
Stop!
224
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:08,513
Oh, that's probably
Mike about golf tomorrow,
225
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,626
but, you know what, I'm gonna
answer it in the sitting room
226
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,251
'cause this phone, it bores me.
227
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,623
Hello?
228
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,092
Douglas, it's Arthur Spooner.
229
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:25,341
OK, last name's not
necessary. What's up?
230
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:30,001
I had a Mr. Dick St.
John of Mold Masters over
231
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,936
to look at the situation.
232
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,449
Arthur, I told you
to leave it alone
233
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,817
and just sleep upstairs.
234
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,208
And I quote:
235
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,577
"Large area of interior walls
236
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:42,747
"infested with
stachybotrys-type growth,
237
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:46,751
pipes and wiring also affected."
238
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,954
Well, did he say how much
it would cost to clean it up?
239
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,690
And I quote:
240
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,427
"To remove all mold,
241
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:59,530
estimated cost $7,025."
242
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,966
$7,000?
243
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,868
Arthur: I'll await
further instructions.
244
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,169
Good-bye.
245
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,978
Hey, was that Mike? Huh?
246
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,757
Uh, yeah. It was just Mikey.
247
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,115
Hey, Doug. Say "Twix."
248
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,083
Twix.
249
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,358
Arthur: All right,
what's the delay?
250
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,038
Sometimes it
takes a little while
251
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,173
to get on the Internet.
252
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,964
It's who you know,
same old story.
253
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,366
OK, we're online.
254
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,735
All right, now get me
the skinny on mold.
255
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,317
They've got me living in
that petri dish of a basement
256
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,673
for 5 years.
257
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,182
I've gotta know
what it's done to me.
258
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:47,278
OK, here we go. "Mold helpline."
259
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,380
That's it.
260
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,526
All right, Arthur,
have you suffered
261
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,462
from any of the
following conditions?
262
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,519
Nasal stuffiness? Check.
263
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,787
Shortness of breath? Check.
264
00:10:56,856 --> 00:11:00,291
Loss of urinary control?
265
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,792
Double check.
266
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:06,731
All right, what else?
267
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,200
Well, there's something here
268
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,347
about how extended
exposure could lead
269
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,239
to diminished
mental capabilities.
270
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,307
Oh, God! I could lose my mind?!
271
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,641
Theoretically, yes.
272
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,443
Spence, promise me this.
273
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,646
If you start seeing even
the slightest indication
274
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,783
of strange behavior on my part,
275
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,085
I want you to kill me.
276
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,631
Doug: Honey?
277
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,777
Carrie: Yeah?
278
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,368
Do you know anything
about a charge
279
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:46,938
in the gift shop for $13?
280
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,974
Yeah, I bought a pack of gum.
281
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,009
Oh, gum.
282
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:54,212
OK, as long as it was
something important.
283
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,317
OK, honey, now remember,
284
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,426
we have dinner
reservations at 6:00,
285
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,233
so try to get back
here from golf by 5:00
286
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,068
so I can hose you down.
287
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,125
Where are you going?
288
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,226
To the spa.
289
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,439
I booked a 2-hour
massage with Phillipe.
290
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,563
Hold on, uh...
291
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:16,234
maybe I want to
give you a massage.
292
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,736
You do?
293
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,082
Every time I ask you at home,
294
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,706
you say, "What's in it for me?"
295
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,742
I feel romantic down
here, and, you know what,
296
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,488
I'll give you twice as good
a massage as Phillipe.
297
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,414
And I offer additional services.
298
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,683
Yeah, I have Miguel
at 12:30 for that.
299
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,152
Very funny. Come
on, lie on the bed.
300
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,831
This better be good,
though, I'm telling you.
301
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,189
And I should tell you,
my hands are registered
302
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,991
with the department of love.
303
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,626
Sexy fingers division.
304
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,896
All right, there you go.
305
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,199
Mmm. A little harder, hon. OK.
306
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,501
Split the difference!
307
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,037
See? That's better.
308
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,250
Isn't that good? Yeah.
309
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,207
Use the oil, honey.
310
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,552
Hmm? Oil.
311
00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,076
Oh.
312
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,312
Oh, there we go.
313
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,814
OK.
314
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,132
What's going on up there?
315
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,588
Nothing, nothing. It's fine.
316
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,228
It's fine, fine.
317
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,064
I feel like I'm being marinated.
318
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,999
It's all good. It's all good.
319
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,568
OK, all right! Massage
over! Massage over!
320
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,470
Dismount! Dismount! Dismount!
321
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,439
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
322
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,574
That was very sweet, very sweet.
323
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,587
I think I'm gonna let Phillipe
have a crack at me now.
324
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:33,677
Hold on. You can't go.
325
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,846
Why not?
326
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,280
'Cause we can't
afford a massage!
327
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,860
What are you talking about?
328
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,551
That smell your father smelled?
329
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:43,721
It was mold, and it's
gonna cost $7,000 to fix.
330
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:46,991
$7,000?!
331
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,637
But you told me
you went down there
332
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,639
and checked everything
out before we left!
333
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,696
I did.
334
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:52,975
You said everything was OK!
335
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,566
I may have lied.
336
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,779
You may have, or you did?
337
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,370
I may have did.
338
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:00,571
Doug!
339
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,718
I didn't know it was
gonna cost so much!
340
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,175
OK, well, you know what?
341
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,511
The vacation that we couldn't
afford in the first place is over.
342
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,580
What?
343
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,281
Yeah, that's right.
Start packing, buddy.
344
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,617
And throw in a
few of those towels.
345
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,364
But the room... we already
pre-paid for the room.
346
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,798
We can't get that money back.
347
00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:17,822
Oh, right.
348
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,401
And our flights,
it's gonna cost us
349
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,535
more money to change them.
350
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,559
Oh, my God.
351
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,527
Suddenly, I have an
incredible headache.
352
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,376
That's $6.00!
353
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,799
Crap!
354
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,368
Crap!
355
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,937
Look, I screwed up, OK?
356
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,339
But the room's
already pre-paid for,
357
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,853
so why don't we just
enjoy the rest of the week,
358
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,922
and, you know, we'll
take care of the mold thing
359
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,745
when we get back.
360
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,714
OK, all right. You're right.
361
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,449
But you know what,
we are not spending
362
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,451
another dime, OK,
more than we have to.
363
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,752
Agreed? Agreed.
364
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,099
Plenty of stuff we can do
365
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,500
that doesn't cost a cent, right?
366
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:55,092
We got a beautiful view
of the ocean right here.
367
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,162
OK, I wish I would've
saw the Jet Skis
368
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,466
before we were poor.
369
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,173
Hello? Oh, hey, Mike.
370
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,808
No, I didn't forget about golf.
371
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,854
Golf? You're not playing golf.
372
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,212
I will see you there.
373
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,846
OK, buddy. Take care.
374
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,426
Doug, if I am not
getting my massage,
375
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,731
you're not spending
money on golf.
376
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,707
Fore!
377
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,042
Seriously, sorry I'm late.
378
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,255
No problem, Doug.
379
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,524
Ah, you want to
tee off back there?
380
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,582
I...
381
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,095
You know what, I'm
just gonna hit from here.
382
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,818
I'm fine. This is
perfect, seriously.
383
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:55,927
All right.
384
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,055
Whoa! Heads up in
the Day Care Center!
385
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,724
Let's play some golf.
386
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:10,968
Sir?
387
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,197
You, sir!
388
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,074
Sir!
389
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,383
Hey, you guys. Hey, you two.
390
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:26,962
What's up, you're
not doing a cabana?
391
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,763
We're kind of cabanaed out.
392
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:31,855
Yeah, my Aunt has
one. We use it a lot.
393
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,258
You sure? It's like
110 on the sand there.
394
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,505
It's all right. I like my
skin like I like my cheese:
395
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,095
deep fried.
396
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,599
Ow! What's the matter?
397
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,868
The sand's hot.
398
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,482
And how is everyone doing?
399
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,083
Can I cool you off with a mist?
400
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,074
Sure, Patrick. Go for it.
401
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,843
Mike: Mmm.
402
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,246
Mmm.
403
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,681
Here you go, merci.
404
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,584
And now for the Heffernans.
405
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,884
Oh, no! We're good!
406
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,298
Oh, just a little spray.
407
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,522
No, no... Whoa, you missed me!
408
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,057
I'm going to get
you, Mr. Heffernan!
409
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,286
No! Hey, hey!
410
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,663
No spray.
411
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,871
Hey, Arthur.
412
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,117
I just dropped by to see if
you wanna catch a movie.
413
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,273
Who are you kidding?
414
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,576
You know I couldn't follow it.
415
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,413
What?
416
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,281
I'm losing my mind, remember?
417
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:35,052
This Family Circus cartoon
might as well be in Greek.
418
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,522
Arthur, you're not
losing your mind.
419
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,267
You're just psyching
yourself out now.
420
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:42,326
Let's just put that
to a test. How?
421
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,195
I've always been able
to debate any topic
422
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:48,633
and tear down opposing
arguments with pinpoint logic.
423
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,646
You want me to debate you?
424
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,970
Exactly. We'll pick a topic,
425
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,172
and we'll see if I
can hold my own.
426
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,642
OK, what's the topic?
427
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,976
How about this:
428
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:02,313
Should the United States
normalize relations with Cuba?
429
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:03,780
You be pro.
430
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,816
All right. Uh...
431
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,862
the Cold War's been
over for 10 years.
432
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,053
Cuba is no longer a threat,
433
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:13,001
but instead could be a
valuable ally and trading partner,
434
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,403
so it makes perfect sense
435
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,927
to normalize
relations with Cuba.
436
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,330
You moron, what do you
know about anything?!
437
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:25,703
You're a frightened little drone
that can't even get a woman!
438
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,672
If you're so keen on
normalizing something,
439
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,607
why don't you
start with your face!
440
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,012
I still got it.
441
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,753
Sizzling lobster is served!
442
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:48,326
I love you, honey, but
tonight that is my date.
443
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,994
Hey, you guys! There you are.
444
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,703
What do you got
in the bags there?
445
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,398
Oh, since it's
our turn to treat,
446
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,678
we thought we'd do
something special.
447
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,968
Yeah, let's go. All right.
448
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,044
More Ramen Noodles, Debi?
449
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:08,746
Sure. Mike?
450
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,716
Still working on my
cheese and crackers.
451
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,385
Hey, don't you fill
up on the appetizers.
452
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,620
We got a whole
native island feast.
453
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,389
We got our pineapple,
454
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:21,892
we got our... roast pig, huh?
455
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,796
Already pre-sliced and
pre-packaged for our convenience.
456
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,598
And let's kick it off first
457
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,132
with a little shrimp
cocktail, huh?
458
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:33,738
Whoa! She's blowing again!
459
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:34,872
OK!
460
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,985
Whoops, there goes
our wine glasses.
461
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,409
You guys sit tight.
462
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,955
Oh, sweetie, I
wouldn't put that there.
463
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,547
The sea gulls have
been pretty aggressive.
464
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,361
What's going on? I want
to go into the restaurant.
465
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,595
Honey, we'll go tomorrow night.
466
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,464
They're obviously having
some kind of money problems.
467
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,232
But why didn't...
They told us...
468
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:52,122
Just be nice, OK?
469
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,951
We may have lost
a couple of napkins,
470
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,893
but in other news,
I can now confirm
471
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:58,529
that our cabana
boy's definitely gay.
472
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:00,776
That's true.
473
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,666
Mm-mmm.
474
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,836
Looks kind of like
the tide's coming in.
475
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,137
No, no, I checked the chart.
476
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,572
We got at least 12 minutes.
477
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:12,209
Sizzling lobster is served!
478
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,246
How 'bout you finish those
cheese and crackers, honey?
479
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,048
Yeah, right.
480
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:21,886
Man: This is the best
thing I've ever tasted!
481
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,956
What are you... What
are you looking at, Mike?
482
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,592
Oh, nothing. I... Nothing.
483
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,860
Nothing.
484
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:32,463
Seems to me like you're
looking at the lobsters.
485
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,764
No, no, Doug, I...
486
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,566
'Cause tonight we
thought, you know,
487
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,201
we'd have a beautiful
picnic out here on the beach.
488
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,471
Might be more fun than
sitting in a stuffy restaurant,
489
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:43,073
but if you want lobster,
let's get you some lobster.
490
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:44,775
It's not like we
can't afford it.
491
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,987
I'm sure you can.
492
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,778
I know we can.
493
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,247
Look, Doug, we're friends,
494
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:53,984
and, you know, it's OK
if things are a little tight.
495
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,052
Things are tight?
496
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,088
Things aren't tight here.
Things are very loose.
497
00:20:58,156 --> 00:20:59,434
You know, that's
what I'm saying.
498
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,669
What makes you
think they're tight?
499
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,937
I don't know, I mean,
I'm sitting on a rock
500
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:05,295
and I'm eating
food from 7-Eleven.
501
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:10,033
OK, first of all,
it's from an A&P,
502
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,269
so get your facts straight.
503
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:14,305
And second of all,
if you want lobster,
504
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:15,450
we're gonna get
you some lobster.
505
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:16,585
Doug! No, no, it's fine.
506
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,642
Excuse me, can I get, uh...
507
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,489
2 sizzling lobsters down
there for my friends?
508
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,245
Actually, these are
our last 2 lobsters.
509
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,692
You know what,
I will take these 2.
510
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,327
Just charge them
to my room, please.
511
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,017
OK? Thank you.
512
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,153
Sizzling!
513
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,326
So, um...
514
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:38,395
I'm guessing everyone
on their own tomorrow?
515
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,236
This strap is digging
into my shoulder.
516
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,516
You know what,
you're carrying one bag.
517
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,685
I got like 7. Keep walking.
518
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,854
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Heffernan,
you're checking out?
519
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:53,055
Let me help you with your bags.
520
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:54,111
Oh, no, we're good.
521
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:57,660
Oh, I'm going to help
you, Mr. Heffernan!
36215
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