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♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
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00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,906
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
3
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,820
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
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00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:12,611
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge tonight ♪
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:18,283
♪ But I don't care
'cause all I want to do ♪
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,887
♪ Is cash my check and
drive right home to you ♪
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00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,224
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
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00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,893
♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪
9
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,102
but I think my
favorite mayor of all
10
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,304
was Mr. John D. Lindsay.
11
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Marvelous politician
and, if I may say,
12
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,141
easy on the eyes.
13
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,211
Hey, guys, good walk?
14
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,023
Oh, it was great.
Arthur's been telling me
15
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,691
all these funny mayor stories.
16
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,349
Oh, yeah? Oh, Holly,
17
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,317
let me pay you for this week.
18
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,230
There you go, sweetie. Thanks.
19
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,621
You don't have to
pay my dogwalker
20
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,925
in front of me
like I'm an animal!
21
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,027
Well, you can earn some money
22
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,995
and pay her yourself.
23
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,265
Easy there, sister. I was
just making conversation.
24
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,477
Holly: Thanks, Carr.
25
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:09,712
Listen, Arthur, I'm
adding a new dog
26
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,780
to our walk next time...
27
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,004
This adorable Jack Russell.
28
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,372
I hope it's not the Jack Russell
29
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,442
I knew in the army.
I left him for dead.
30
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,911
Hey, babe.
31
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,614
Hi, honey. Listen, I'm sorry
32
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,927
I couldn't make that meeting
33
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,428
with the mortgage
guy. How'd it go?
34
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,186
Great. He ran down
the options for me,
35
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,421
and I think I selected
us a refinancing plan
36
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,889
that fits our needs pretty well.
37
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,458
Yeah? Which?
38
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,493
Uh, the purple one.
39
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,928
Did you even read it?
40
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:37,929
No, but the broker
was pushing it,
41
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,998
and he seemed like
a pretty bright guy.
42
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,633
Look, the middle-aged
black couple here
43
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,602
seems pretty happy with it.
44
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,304
You're not ready
45
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:48,640
to do grown-up stuff
on your own, are you?
46
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,242
I got the gist of it, all right?
47
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,244
Right now we got 7
years left on our mortgage.
48
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,545
If we switch to this one,
49
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,114
it's gonna bring our
payments way down
50
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,482
because we're gonna spread
'em out over the next 30 years.
51
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,784
Hmm. That sounds good.
52
00:01:58,852 --> 00:01:59,985
Yeah. My only concern was
53
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:04,088
are we really gonna dig
each other for that long?
54
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,524
Well, unless you leave
me for a roast beef,
55
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,094
I think we're OK.
56
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,307
So when do we sign everything?
57
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,808
I'm picking up the
application tomorrow
58
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:12,909
and I'll bring it
by your office.
59
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,866
Holy sweet Mother,
60
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,468
I'm staring at a
bowl of chocolate.
61
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,348
Yeah, I'm making brownies.
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00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,515
Hey, get away.
They're not for you.
63
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:20,683
They're for Curt from work.
64
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,806
Who?
65
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:22,807
Curt, my friend from work.
66
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,986
It's his birthday tomorrow.
67
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,010
Uh-huh.
68
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,879
No... no! Stop it!
69
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,781
Don't... don't do it!
70
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,782
No!
71
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,131
You only bake a
few times a year!
72
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,219
I should be on the
business end of all of 'em!
73
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:37,623
Doug, I limit my
baking to keep you alive.
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00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,726
Look, you know, I'm not sure I like
you baking for another man, anyway.
75
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,005
All right. You know what? Relax.
76
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,428
Curt is gay.
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00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,864
Oh, well, then there's
no way he can eat
78
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,433
a tray full of brownies and
still look good in his gay pants.
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00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,434
So give. Give 'em to me.
80
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,735
Stop it! Stop!
81
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,058
Woman: Hey, Doug. Oh, hey, Amy.
82
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,002
You, uh, see the wifeski?
83
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,251
The what? The wifeski.
84
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,267
I'm sorry. I don't know
what you're saying.
85
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,756
My wife Carrie.
Have you seen her?
86
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:12,991
Oh.
87
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,870
Yeah, she should be
back from lunch any minute.
88
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:15,934
Thanks. OK.
89
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,376
Hey, honey.
90
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,744
Doug: Hey! Hey!
91
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:33,745
How are ya? Good.
92
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:34,891
I brought the mortgage down.
93
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:35,847
Oh, good.
94
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:36,993
Curt, this is my husband Doug.
95
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,494
Oh, it's great to
meet you finally.
96
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,951
C-Curt. Brownie Curt.
97
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,530
Yeah. I'd offer you one,
98
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,600
but my co-workers pretty
much mowed right through them.
99
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,935
I yanked my hands
away just in time.
100
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,992
Well, no biggie.
101
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:57,002
Speaking of scary co-workers,
102
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,571
did you see Vanveen
make his way over here?
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00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,739
Uh, yeah.
104
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:01,984
He was just standing
there, staring at us...
105
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,586
"What ya got there? Brownies?"
106
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,820
Very odd. Carrie: Very odd,
107
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,289
and did you see he was
wearing that thing again?
108
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,245
That thing with the snaps?
109
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,246
Yeah, yeah.
110
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,247
He thinks it works for him.
111
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,956
It doesn't. Uh-uh!
112
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,586
Yeah, totally.
113
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:20,036
So anyway, I got the,
uh, mortgage thing here.
114
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,604
You just gotta sign
next to the little tabbies.
115
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,173
All right, well, did you
read through it this time?
116
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,197
No.
117
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,043
I paid the guy to
put the tabbies there
118
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:27,999
so we wouldn't have to read it.
119
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,145
OK, I'm gonna go make a copy.
120
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,169
I'll be right back.
121
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,338
Oh, God, I'm stuffed.
122
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:35,740
Carrie took me out for sushi.
123
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,744
Oh, great. That's one less
time she begs me to go.
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00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,133
Raw fish not as
good as cooked cow.
125
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,783
Hey!
126
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,584
It's Carrie's work husband
127
00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:47,819
and her real husband
128
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:48,987
in the same place.
129
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,227
Work husband?
130
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,496
Oh, yeah. It's just this
joke they got going here
131
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,575
'cause we're always together.
132
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:00,631
I'm her work husband.
133
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,700
She's my work wife.
134
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:02,600
It's stupid.
135
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,436
No, no, it's...
136
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,471
It's funny. It's funny.
137
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,806
All right, honey. Here ya go.
138
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,219
OK. All right.
139
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,855
Now we gotta go set up the
conference room for a meeting.
140
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,090
The millionaires will riot
141
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,425
if they don't get
their free muffins.
142
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,381
OK. OK.
143
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,382
Curt: It's nice to meet you.
144
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,451
You, too.
145
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,336
Douglas.
146
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,704
Hey, Arthur.
147
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,275
What's troubling you, Son?
148
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,504
You never looked heavier.
149
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,021
Thanks.
150
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,223
Come here.
151
00:05:58,292 --> 00:05:59,524
Well, there's this...
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00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,694
There's this guy that
Carrie works with.
153
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,262
Nothing really bad's going on.
154
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,964
Actually, he's gay.
155
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,033
Ah, the homosexuals.
156
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,215
It's wonderful, the things
they've given to our culture.
157
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,338
I'm a big fan.
158
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,407
Can I finish?
159
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,408
All right.
160
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:18,410
So anyway,
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00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,245
she and this guy
got this thing going.
162
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,681
They're really close,
163
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:24,449
and they have all
these inside jokes.
164
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:25,450
They go out for sushi,
165
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:26,529
and it turns out
the people there
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00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,453
call him her work husband.
167
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,454
I mean, what's with that?
168
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,889
Come on. It's innocent fun.
169
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,291
I actually had a work wife once.
170
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,094
Really? Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,563
Her name was Phyllis Schneck.
172
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,233
She worked with
me in a crab cannery
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00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,978
in Glen Burnie, Maryland.
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00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,802
All righty.
175
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,816
Every morning, I would
kiss my real wife good-bye
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00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,539
and head to work.
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00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:49,819
Down at the cannery,
178
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,055
Phyllis and I would
laugh our heads off all day,
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00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:56,747
you know, real
inside crab humor.
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00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:57,882
Then, one day,
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00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,495
at the company picnic,
182
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,053
we hopped off into the forest
183
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,222
in a potato sack
184
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,558
and made love like rabbits.
185
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:13,943
Now that I think
about it, Douglas,
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00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:18,069
gay or not, new
guy spells bad news.
187
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,404
The new guy's so cute, isn't he?
188
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,906
He's OK.
189
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,752
I doubt he'll be
doing any Alpo ads
190
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,276
anytime soon.
191
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,712
You're so good with
the Frisbee, Pee-wee.
192
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,681
You're so good with the Frisbee.
193
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:30,682
We get it.
194
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,751
He's good with the Frisbee.
195
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,593
Hey. Hey.
196
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,196
How was the rest
of your work day?
197
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,296
Fine.
198
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,976
Just fine? Come on,
give me more than that.
199
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,066
What?
200
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,235
Come on. I want to
be part of your work life.
201
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,417
Do you also want to pick
out my outfit for tomorrow?
202
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,573
Look, I'm serious.
203
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,952
Like, what's up
with the weird guy
204
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,276
who kept staring
at the brownies?
205
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,785
Vanveen? Yes!
206
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,313
What the hell is
up with Vanveen?
207
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,783
Give me the
what-what on Vanveen.
208
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:06,852
Nothing.
209
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,287
Just a very annoying
man who's 4'11".
210
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,388
Why do you care?
211
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,157
Well, excuse me
for wanting to know
212
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,158
as much about your life
213
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,267
as your work husband does.
214
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,162
What? That's right.
215
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,842
You didn't think I'd find
out you're a bigamist,
216
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:23,033
did you, Utah?
217
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:24,035
Doug, are you
actually telling me
218
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,071
you're upset because
I have a friend
219
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,072
who people, as a dumb joke,
220
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,073
call my work husband?
221
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,074
No, you know, you're right.
222
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,252
Why am I getting upset? Really.
223
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,209
You just have another
husband. That's all.
224
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,011
Doug, Curt is gay.
225
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,412
What part of gay do
you not understand?
226
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,416
I understand
plenty parts of gay.
227
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:39,995
Do you, Doug? Yeah, I do.
228
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,353
Well, you're being ridiculous.
229
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,355
Look, even if there
is no sex involved,
230
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,424
how would you like it
231
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:48,759
if I had a work
wife at IPS, huh?
232
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,228
What if Wanda
the dispatcher and I
233
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,163
just started spending
all this time together?
234
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,532
Wanda never leaves her desk.
235
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,068
She's 400 pounds.
236
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,203
Of fun.
237
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,782
All right, you know what?
238
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,907
I am done with
this conversation.
239
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,053
Whether he's gay or not,
240
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,888
bottom line is you
found somebody at work
241
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:06,922
you're sharing all
these things with
242
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,457
that you should
be sharing with me.
243
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,682
You guys have all
these inside jokes.
244
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,662
You got all this
stuff in common.
245
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,663
You go out for
lunch, you hang out.
246
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:18,522
You just described your
exact relationship with Deacon.
247
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,926
No, I didn't.
248
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,761
Think about it.
249
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,175
Have I ever once baked
brownies for Deacon?
250
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,866
No, but you made
him that big sandwich,
251
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:31,569
and you told me how much
you enjoyed watching him eat it.
252
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,516
OK, that was a new
kind of ham I discovered.
253
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,017
It's totally different.
254
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,209
And you guys have
a million inside jokes.
255
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,822
I mean, I come home,
you two are on the couch...
256
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,179
"Hey, Eddie, Eddie."
257
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,648
I mean, I don't know what
the hell you guys talk about.
258
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,384
So, admit it.
259
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:47,718
There are many times
260
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,298
you'd rather be spending
time with Deacon than with me.
261
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,688
So whether you like it or not,
262
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,723
he is your work wife.
263
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:56,949
You're ugly.
264
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,065
What's up, man?
265
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,200
What's up?
266
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:14,211
♪ Oh, you are everything ♪
267
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,148
♪ And everything is you ♪
268
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:20,752
♪ Oh, you are everything ♪
269
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,888
♪ And everything is you ♪
270
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,625
♪ Oh, you are everything ♪
271
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,962
♪ And everything is you ♪
272
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,334
♪ How can I forget ♪
273
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:41,372
♪ When each face that I see ♪
274
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:44,742
♪ Brings back memories ♪
275
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:50,081
♪ Of being with you ♪
276
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,717
♪ I just can't go on ♪
277
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,453
♪ Living life as I do ♪
278
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,821
♪ Comparing each girl to... ♪
279
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,360
You wanna catch a movie tonight?
280
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,761
Try and stop me.
281
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,043
Look at the ball,
Pee-wee. Ready?
282
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:08,999
Go get it.
283
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,769
Oh, isn't he great?
I just love him.
284
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,215
By the way, I was
reading a scathing piece
285
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,172
in the op-ed section
of today's Times.
286
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,518
Did you happen to
see it? No, I didn't.
287
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,475
Oh, who's a good boy?
288
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:18,777
You're a good boy.
289
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,456
You're a good boy. Ready?
290
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,012
Go get it again.
291
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,014
It was saying we haven't had
292
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,226
a decent secretary of commerce
293
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,883
in over a decade. Oh, real...
294
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,196
Oh, who's smarter than you?
295
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,285
Nobody.
296
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,832
Nobody's smarter
than you. Ready?
297
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,788
Look at it.
298
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,590
Look at it.
299
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:33,858
Go get it.
300
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,494
Arthur: Come here! Come here!
301
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,230
Give me that ball, Pee-wee!
302
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,698
Give it to me!
303
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,870
I believe this is yours.
304
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,974
Carrie: Curt, do
not ask him out.
305
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,842
Because he's straight.
306
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,445
He is.
307
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,847
All right, good luck to you.
308
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,448
Hey, call me after
the train wreck.
309
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,683
OK. Bye.
310
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,430
It's wonderful to
see how you kids
311
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,687
keep your marriage so fresh.
312
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,423
Ha ha ha ha ha.
313
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,425
Listen, the mortgage guy called.
314
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,860
He wants us to meet him
in his office at 3:30 tomorrow
315
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,028
to sign the final papers.
316
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,029
Doug: Great.
317
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,109
In other news, you were right.
318
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,065
Deacon is my work wife,
319
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,066
and I'm good with that.
320
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,267
So there you go.
321
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,802
Are you still on this thing?
322
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,615
I'm not on or off anything, OK?
323
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,938
It's just fact.
324
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,485
You found somebody you
like to spend all your time with,
325
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,441
and so have I.
326
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,742
Don't be a moron.
327
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,611
I never said I wanted to
spend all my time with Curt.
328
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:29,925
It's fine. You guys
can hang out, eat sushi.
329
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,260
Deacon and I are
going out tonight
330
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,062
to explore one of
our common interests,
331
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,319
the cinema of Mr. Vin Diesel.
332
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,755
OK, you know what?
333
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,796
Hey, Curt, it's me again.
334
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,532
Hey, do you want to go
dancing or something tonight?
335
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,233
OK, great.
336
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,369
So I'll see you in,
what, like, a half hour?
337
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,870
All right, hon. Bye-bye.
338
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,006
Ya happy?
339
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,007
Thrilled.
340
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,342
It's better this way.
341
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,343
Now you don't have
to pretend to care
342
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,645
about sports and ground beef,
343
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,858
and I don't have
to pretend to care
344
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:03,893
about your new shoes
345
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,484
and your feelings.
346
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,520
You know what?
Maybe I do wanna spend
347
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,521
every second of
my day with Curt.
348
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:11,900
Feels good to admit it, right?
349
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,324
Feels fantastic.
350
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,470
Would you do me a favor?
351
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,973
Please hand me my
Michael Jordan cologne.
352
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,274
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
353
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,342
Here we go.
354
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,366
Wow, wow.
355
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,011
I like to smell good for my man.
356
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,035
OK.
357
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,302
Zip me, please.
358
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,971
Not a problem.
359
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:28,279
Zip me, please.
360
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,878
What, your fly?
361
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:34,879
That's right. My fly.
362
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,514
You can zip your own fly.
363
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,783
That is such a slap in the face.
364
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,056
Hey, you think Vin
Diesel's full name
365
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,526
is Vincent Diesel?
366
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,272
I think the name
is totally made-up.
367
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,228
Really?
368
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,307
So you don't think
out there somewhere
369
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,499
there's a very proud
Sam and Edna Diesel?
370
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,304
Doug?
371
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,383
Hey, Carrie.
372
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,407
Hello.
373
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,607
What are you doing here?
374
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,522
I told you I wanted
to try this place.
375
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:08,690
What are you doing here?
376
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:12,817
Sorry, I didn't realize
you owned El Diablo's.
377
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,898
Waitress: Can I
start you guys off
378
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,099
with something to drink?
379
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,656
Yeah, I'll have a margarita.
380
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,802
Oh, do you wanna share one?
381
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:20,758
I don't drink that much.
382
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,926
Oh, sure. We'll
share a margarita.
383
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,955
Oh, and Deacon and I will
share a margarita as well.
384
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,168
No, we won't.
385
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:32,548
Fine, then we'll share 2.
386
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,005
OK, thanks.
387
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,219
So, what did you
guys do tonight?
388
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:38,821
Saw a movie. Loved it.
389
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,622
Lot of explosions
and loud noises.
390
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,513
Not for you two.
391
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,159
So how was your
little dance party?
392
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:45,415
It was great.
393
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:47,062
Curt's a really great dancer.
394
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,019
He's in great shape
395
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,532
'cause he works out a lot.
396
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,487
Oh, wow.
397
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,488
Jeez.
398
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,002
Well, Curt, what do you bench?
399
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,992
Oh, um, about 180.
400
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,739
180. Deac, how about you?
401
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:57,962
I don't know. Like, 210.
402
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,063
210?
403
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,364
Hmm.
404
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,913
That's slightly more than Curt.
405
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:05,769
Wow, Doug.
406
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,616
Your work wife can bench more
407
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,440
than my work husband.
408
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,415
Um, you know,
409
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:20,204
I think I'm just gonna
go check on our drinks.
410
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,056
Work wife?
411
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,736
Yeah, Curt is her work husband.
412
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,960
You're my work wife.
413
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,829
Do I like pinto beans
or black beans?
414
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,500
Work wife?
415
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,535
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
416
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,037
Oh, lookee here.
417
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,916
Looks like Curt's found
himself another date.
418
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,273
Carrie: Oh.
419
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:43,274
Perfect.
420
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:44,553
I was having a
great night with him
421
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,509
until you showed up.
422
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,279
Work wife?!
423
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,280
It's nothing.
424
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,589
Don't make a scene.
425
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,297
I... I don't know what the
hell's going on between you two,
426
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,620
but don't drag me into this,
427
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,354
and don't call me
your work wife.
428
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:02,726
If anything, you're
my work wife.
429
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,499
Pee-wee.
430
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,434
Who's the best Pee-wee?
431
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,069
You're the best Pee-wee.
432
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,105
Woman: Excuse me?
433
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,306
Do you know what time it is?
434
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:16,540
It's, uh...
435
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:26,117
It's a quarter past
the hour of 2:00.
436
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,152
Thanks.
437
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,021
May I assume you walk
dogs professionally?
438
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,023
Yup.
439
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,369
Would you happen
to have any openings
440
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,526
in your group?
441
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,628
Sure. Always room for one more.
442
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,099
Uh, where's your dog?
443
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,287
You're looking at him.
444
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,748
Time to go, Arthur.
445
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,850
Actually, while you've
been heaping love
446
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,284
on your precious Pee-wee,
447
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,108
I made other arrangements.
448
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,910
This striking young lady
449
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,546
will be walking me henceforth.
450
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:56,792
Arthur, are you actually saying
451
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,894
that you're jealous of Pee-wee?
452
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,963
Arthur, he's a dog.
You're a person.
453
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,064
Spin it any way you want.
454
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,088
It still stinks.
455
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,437
Oh, come on, Arthur.
456
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,035
You know I love walking you.
457
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:08,092
Prove it.
458
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,760
Either he goes or I go.
459
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,829
Well, I gotta say
Pee-wee's owners
460
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,198
do pay me slightly more than...
461
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,599
yours.
462
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,602
Fine. I'm out of here.
463
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,570
Congratulations, Pee-wee.
464
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,905
Enjoy it till she
tosses you aside
465
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,240
for the next young pup!
466
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,809
Oh.
467
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,748
Well... I'm yours.
468
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,828
Which direction are we going?
469
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,519
I'm sorry.
470
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,320
I don't walk people.
471
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,522
Uh-huh.
472
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:41,391
I wish you'd told
me that before.
473
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,927
Holly!
474
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,563
Man: So, we're offering you
475
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,131
a no-cost, 30-year refinance,
476
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,766
and your last installment
477
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:54,304
will be due in November of 2032.
478
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:55,973
Before you sign
this, look it over,
479
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,742
see if you have
any more questions.
480
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,254
I just need to say
hi to a camp friend
481
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,745
who stopped by to visit.
482
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:09,519
Thanks to you, Curt
totally avoided me today.
483
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,355
He didn't even get
me my Starbucks
484
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,657
like he usually does.
485
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,759
Deacon called me an a-hole.
486
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,665
Question for you,
487
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,811
do you think it's wrong that
we're about to sign a mortgage
488
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,412
to live in a house
together for 30 years,
489
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,480
and it just came out this week
490
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,371
that we've nothing in common?
491
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,239
We have stuff in common.
492
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,374
Oh, yeah.
493
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,686
We both prefer the
company of other people.
494
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:32,976
We nailed that.
495
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,680
We have stuff in common.
496
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,681
Right?
497
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,682
I don't know.
498
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:38,794
What's all this stuff we have?
499
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,250
Well, OK, for one thing,
500
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,053
we have a great sex life.
501
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,966
OK, but what about
when the sex goes away?
502
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,830
Maybe it won't go
away. Oh, please.
503
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,757
Do you realize how brittle
504
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,393
your bones will be in 30 years?
505
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,072
I'll crush you to dust.
506
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,896
What if we're just
507
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,209
sitting across from each other
508
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,732
30 years from now,
509
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,878
bored to tears,
510
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,336
your father's, like, 105,
511
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,782
and he's hooked up to
some machine in the kitchen,
512
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,252
and I can't even get
at the waffle maker.
513
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,208
That a pretty
picture for ya, huh?
514
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,676
Doug, come on. This is stupid.
515
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,378
We have a lot of
stuff in common,
516
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,745
a lot.
517
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,081
In fact, you know what?
518
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,882
Why don't we each make a list
519
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,284
of our 10 favorite things,
520
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,819
and if we don't have
at least one match,
521
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,888
we do not sign these
mortgage papers.
522
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:20,237
Fine. OK.
523
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,895
Actually, let's make it 20.
524
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,599
Number 18.
525
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,600
OK, we got 3 more shots
526
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,601
at making a match here.
527
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,135
What do you got?
528
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,748
Sunsets. Sunsets?!
529
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,283
What? What do you have?
530
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,384
New car smell.
531
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,142
What?! I can't believe you!
532
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,143
You see a freakin' sunset
533
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,289
every day of your life!
534
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,957
New car smell.
Now that's special!
535
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,458
All right, all right.
Let's just calm down.
536
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,750
We have 2 more left, all right?
537
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:46,751
All right, number 19.
538
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,419
What do you got?
539
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,487
A good book.
540
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,770
Do you wanna
live with me or not?!
541
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:55,926
Yes, I wanna live with you.
542
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,561
I love you, you idiot.
543
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,773
Well, I love you, too!
544
00:19:58,797 --> 00:19:59,730
Well, if you loved me,
545
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:00,931
you'd wanna go salsa dancing
546
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:01,932
once in a while.
547
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:02,934
Well, if you loved me,
548
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,613
you'd enjoy a nice
can of SpaghettiOs
549
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,647
from time to time.
550
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,104
Well, if you loved me,
551
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,772
you wouldn't have used 2 slots
552
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,074
for SpaghettiOs and Beefaroni.
553
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,310
They're different.
554
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,679
If you loved me,
you'd know that!
555
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,850
OK, you folks ready
to sign that mortgage?
556
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,630
Not unless our number 20s match.
557
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,265
We got a whole thing going here.
558
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,609
All right, what do
you got, sister?
559
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,993
You know what?
560
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,763
I bet you our number 20s match.
561
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,653
What? That's right.
562
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,269
And even if they don't,
563
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,337
it doesn't matter.
564
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,476
Man: Great.
565
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:47,377
Well, we'll get
this all processed,
566
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:48,879
and we'll mail you
guys out a copy.
567
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:49,880
OK, great.
568
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:50,960
Well, thanks for your help.
569
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:52,094
Thank you very much. See ya.
570
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,558
Bye. Bye.
571
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,923
You really mean
that? It doesn't matter?
572
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:03,994
Doug, you can't
put this on a list.
573
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:06,844
Just for kicks,
574
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,477
do you wanna say what
we had for number 20?
575
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:11,268
OK.
576
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,502
You first.
577
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,605
Chamomile tea.
578
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,073
Porno. Let's go.
579
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:23,147
So I'm out of the nail
place for, like, 5 minutes,
580
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,649
and the nail polish on
my thumbnail peels off.
581
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:26,950
So I go back, and I'm like,
582
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,485
"Can you fix this please?"
583
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,153
And Susie...
584
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:33,023
♪ ...You are everything ♪
585
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:36,026
♪ And everything is you ♪
586
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,830
♪ Oh, you are everything ♪
587
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:40,964
♪ And every... ♪
588
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,267
I love you.
589
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,769
Aww.
590
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:48,738
But the main problem with
the Socialist Party in the 1940s
591
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,218
is that they didn't
tailor their message
592
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:51,541
to the common working man.
593
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:52,810
Everything was very...
594
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,613
♪ ...You are everything ♪
595
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:58,883
♪ And everything is you ♪
596
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:02,620
♪ Oh, you are everything ♪
597
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:03,688
♪ And... ♪
39841
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