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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,702 Lex started the apocalypse 2 00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,977 with his phony "Save the Ozone" plan. 3 00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:19,913 Look, just breathe, okay? And if we learned anything... 4 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,731 from our future warlord traitor daughter, 5 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,858 it's that we are better together. We can do this. 6 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,318 Yeah, easy. 7 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:28,154 Stop toxic masculinity and bring back the sun. 8 00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:33,367 Did someone perfectly stack our coffee table books 9 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,203 by weight and theme? 10 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,751 Okay, I was actually feeling good, 11 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,669 yet my stress hallucinations are back. 12 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:45,004 Uh... Who is that? 13 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,756 Oh, you see her, too? Oh, yes. 14 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:49,133 Thank God, I'm not crazy. But I am very scared. 15 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,844 Hi, Harley Quinn. Truly a pleasure. 16 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,847 Uh... - Okay, got some crimes to stop, bye. 17 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,658 Hey! Where the fuck do you think you're going? 18 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,559 I'm sorry. Did someone just, like, clone you? 19 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,454 Listen, babe, just go ahead and start on the fixing the world thing, 20 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:02,313 and let's regroup later. 21 00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:09,278 Wrong bin, asshole. 22 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:16,285 All right, poser, the game is over. 23 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:18,329 Ow! Calm down, girlie. 24 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:23,418 Okay. Which of my many powerful enemies or psychotic admirers made you? 25 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:24,877 I'll explain. 26 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:30,717 God, Harley sheds like a Golden Retriever. 27 00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:32,844 Eh, time to eat your vegetables, Gordo. 28 00:01:32,969 --> 00:01:34,512 Come to pa... Whoa. 29 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,140 My God, it's still cold and there's a hair on it, yuck. 30 00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:39,183 Oh, that's okay. 31 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,228 Just because one potato is gone doesn't mean you're... 32 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,230 all alone. 33 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,833 What... What the... 34 00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,024 Okay. 35 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,651 Terra, you pranked me. 36 00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,737 Come on out, Volcana. Teffe? 37 00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:52,756 You expect me to believe a sad man... 38 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,200 accidentally made you in a microwave slash cloning machine? 39 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,786 Yeah, I'm 5% potato and 95% you. 40 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,580 Oh, gosh, I should've sent you an email 41 00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:03,166 before you saw me, so you could process this. 42 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:05,001 Mmm. 43 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,462 Melted butter. It all tracks. 44 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,138 Ivy. 45 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:20,850 So you thickened the ozone just to weaken Superman? 46 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,060 Can we schedule a lunch? 47 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,145 You're interrupting my UV light treatment. 48 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,939 You see, for plants, the sun is food. 49 00:02:27,065 --> 00:02:28,825 - It's called photosynthesis. - Yeah, I know. 50 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,569 And now what? You're just destroying life on Earth 51 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,362 to, like, punch him? 52 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:35,782 Even if I did what you're accusing me of, which I didn't, 53 00:02:35,907 --> 00:02:39,744 everyone who matters can relocate to my moon. 54 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:40,827 For a fee. 55 00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:49,170 Please don't make me laugh. 56 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:52,757 - My butthole is way too relaxed. - Ah, motherfucker. 57 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,884 I was going to protect you, but you overstepped. 58 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,262 I'm the boss, baby. 59 00:02:58,388 --> 00:03:00,181 And don't misquote me on that. 60 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:03,142 I said, "Boss, comma, baby." 61 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,685 I will stop you. 62 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:05,996 I'm the most 63 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,314 powerful businessman in the universe. 64 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,483 I'm keeping the ozone thick, 65 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,819 and Superman, you, 66 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:16,280 - and whoever else needs the sun... - Everyone needs the sun. 67 00:03:16,406 --> 00:03:17,573 Weak forever. 68 00:03:17,657 --> 00:03:20,284 Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my 69 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,953 chlorophyll infusion. 70 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,036 Huh? 71 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:25,415 Chlorophyll is what absorbs life. 72 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:29,001 I understand photosynthesis, you shitprick! 73 00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:31,963 Ooh! Whoo! 74 00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:34,191 I didn't want Batgirl to miss you while you were gone, 75 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,800 you know, so I stepped in. 76 00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:38,325 And we have been so busy bringing hella criminals to justice, 77 00:03:38,428 --> 00:03:41,973 finding lost dogs and then finding them homes with more responsible pet owners. 78 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:44,976 Look at you swinging that big detective energy around. 79 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,979 Oh, and me and Batgirl did a CPR training class. 80 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:49,605 Oh, Flash came, too. 81 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:52,191 Oh, he is hilarious. 82 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:57,613 Hey, check this out. 83 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,897 Huh. Guess you had to be there. 84 00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:03,995 I'm telling you, Flash has jokes. I mean... 85 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,669 Hold on one teeny second. 86 00:04:15,173 --> 00:04:16,608 But, you know, we'll get back on the same page about everything 87 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:17,901 once we spend more time together. 88 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,719 Think about all the good you can do now. 89 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:22,680 Double the justice, double the fun. 90 00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:25,367 I'm gonna teach you everything I know. 91 00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:29,812 First hero lesson. Saving Ivy's adorable green apple bottoms. 92 00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:33,608 So, hey, are we gonna, like, kidnap Lex 93 00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:35,085 and force him to turn the sun back on? 94 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,861 Honey, I'm just... I'm too weak. 95 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,739 He must have a switch that just turns off the laser. 96 00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:41,365 We just have to get inside. 97 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:43,493 Oh, you look so hot when you rappel. 98 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:45,119 Sorry. Remind me why she's here again. 99 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,205 Well, you sent the Natural Disasters into hiding, 100 00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,348 so we need the extra support. 101 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:49,372 Plus, we are on a roll. 102 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:51,125 Yeah, we are, girlfriend. 103 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:53,669 Good God, you guys have so much energy. It's very annoying. 104 00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,046 Oh, the boardroom. 105 00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,799 We can access his office through here. 106 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,218 Ugh, a wet bar? Lex is so tacky. 107 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,780 She's actually really starting to sound like you. It's freaking me out. 108 00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:05,556 Ooh, I can smash like Harley, too. Ha! 109 00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:11,479 The fuck are these made of? 110 00:05:14,399 --> 00:05:15,400 Oh, shit. 111 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,124 I don't have my powers. 112 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,708 I can't defeat Lex. 113 00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:34,502 This is... This is humiliating. 114 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,088 Don't you have a seat on the LexCorp board? Vote him out. 115 00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:40,299 Use your business powers and go all Logan on Lex's Kendall-ass. 116 00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:42,927 Oh, my God, you're a goddamn genius, peanut. 117 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,930 I thought you didn't watch Succession 118 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,533 - because you hate satire. - She hates satire. 119 00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:50,059 - Harley! - She thought I was you. 120 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,770 Okay, boo. Go win over some board members. 121 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:56,983 Now, 70% of the budget is going to his ozone machine. 122 00:05:57,108 --> 00:06:00,903 After overhead, there's only 1% left for other projects, 123 00:06:00,987 --> 00:06:05,158 and I know how important men's reproductive rights are to you. 124 00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:06,826 If you can't get a tan, 125 00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:10,413 how will people even know you honeymooned in Tulum? 126 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,875 Hey, did you know that Lex was shtupping Ilene's granddaughter, 127 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,501 and that's what broke up her marriage? 128 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,212 And now she's dating an uncircumcised boy? 129 00:06:18,296 --> 00:06:20,423 It is time to remove Lex 130 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,467 as CEO of LexCorp. 131 00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:24,010 Can I count 132 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,136 on your vote? 133 00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:29,515 I still need one more vote. 134 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,559 She-EO to She-EO. What do I do? 135 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,311 Step your pussy up, Ivy. 136 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,439 Everything you need is at your fingertips. 137 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,441 Regenerative cream from Lazarus Spa, 138 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:40,777 electrolytes and Clegg. 139 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,236 Clegg? That's a person? 140 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,655 I thought it was like a dumb brand name 141 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,115 to avoid legal issues. 142 00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:47,366 Oh, Clegg's real. 143 00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:48,969 That recluse makes his annual public appearance 144 00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,120 at the Gotham Celebrity Golf Pro-Am. 145 00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,498 His vote would secure a majority for you. 146 00:06:53,623 --> 00:06:56,125 And be incredibly erotic for me. 147 00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:58,669 Golf goes against everything I stand for. 148 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,171 Privatizing green space 149 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,340 so old men with shrimp cocktail breath 150 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:05,176 can hit their tiny white balls with long hammers. 151 00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:06,677 But... 152 00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:08,971 Nora, get me the longest hammer you can find. 153 00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:10,473 First, an hour in the tanning bed. 154 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,725 - You are so not serving Polo Chic... - Ah. 155 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,811 With this whole sunken-eye look. 156 00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:16,562 We busted a human trafficking ring 157 00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:18,398 and still had time to get our nails done? 158 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,191 Ah, pretty great afternoon, huh? 159 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,527 These little babies always come in handy. 160 00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:24,213 You know, I was thinking. 161 00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:26,531 You're naturally good at this by-the-book hero stuff. 162 00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:29,700 But maybe you can take the Bat Fam reins for me for a while? 163 00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:31,202 Anything I can do to help. 164 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,013 You should get on the Nightwing murder thing. 165 00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,789 Ugh, Batgirl's still so upset over it 166 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,040 and I'm just out of ideas. 167 00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,792 Oh, right, I know who killed him. 168 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,436 Plus, she's probably getting loads of press requests 169 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,754 after embarrassing Mayor Joker on Psycho's pod... 170 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,214 Wait, back up. 171 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,383 Why you just mentioning this now? 172 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,551 Who's the fucking murderer? 173 00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,636 Oh, it's you, girlfriend. Boop! 174 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,555 No, no, no. I do not believe you. 175 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,515 You did it while you were sleepwalking. 176 00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,058 I was there. 177 00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:56,561 You made Nightwing put on your friendship bracelet. 178 00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:58,146 Then you killed him. 179 00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,690 And before that, you partied with the cold villains, 180 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:01,983 ate three slices of quiche, 181 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,460 and turned your underwear inside out 182 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,194 because you forgot to bring a second pair. 183 00:08:05,278 --> 00:08:07,238 All that could have been in the police report. 184 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,408 There, there. I understand this is a lot, 185 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,202 so I will give you some time... 186 00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:21,210 Dry grass, sunless sky and an overall feeling of bleh. 187 00:08:21,294 --> 00:08:23,004 Will humanity survive? 188 00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:24,839 That's a question for another day 189 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:29,552 as we kick off the 69th annual Gotham Celebrity Golf Pro-Am, 190 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,137 sponsored by Cleggbucks. 191 00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:40,104 Clegg, Poison Ivy. 192 00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:41,481 Don't believe we've met before. 193 00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:43,356 - Mmm. - Love the polo. 194 00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:45,777 Looks so expensive in that way that makes me go, 195 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,820 why? I mean, wow. 196 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,089 Big C. 197 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,281 Try this old brassie. 198 00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:52,950 The handcrafted shaft is made from ash, 199 00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,828 and the head is a sexy little... 200 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,830 Persimmon wood cushion. 201 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,582 Ooh, good eye. 202 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,435 We better watch our balls, right, boys? 203 00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,127 Don't wanna hit 'em into the litter box. 204 00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:05,505 You mean cat box? Easy mistake. 205 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:08,257 It's just nice to see a lady taking to the green. 206 00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:09,717 My wife hates golf. 207 00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:12,637 She's hung up on the whole "it's a waste of water" thing. 208 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,430 God love that idiot. 209 00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:18,309 Maybe you can teach this silly little lady a thing or two. 210 00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:19,519 Mmm, back off. 211 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,480 I know all about your hapless coup. 212 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,066 And I know you need Clegg's vote to win. 213 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:27,485 And you're not going to get it. 214 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,987 Ivy, what's your handicap? 215 00:09:30,113 --> 00:09:32,782 Gosh, social anxiety, I guess? Guilty. 216 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:33,745 Oh, you meant in golf? 217 00:09:33,825 --> 00:09:35,701 Uh... I don't know. 218 00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:38,663 I guess you're just gonna have to teach me. - 219 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,332 Clegg, my dude. 220 00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:42,833 You mind if I join? 221 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,966 This is the last place in the world I want to be. 222 00:09:50,049 --> 00:09:51,759 But I am ready to make good on my promise. 223 00:09:51,843 --> 00:09:53,511 I'll do the pod. 224 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,139 A full three-hour livestream, uncut, raw, no topic off-limit? 225 00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,433 Yeah, but first, I need a favor. 226 00:09:58,516 --> 00:09:59,851 No, no, no. I did that favor. 227 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:01,286 You're just paying what you owe me for that trip 228 00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:03,229 into Bruce Wayne's mind, remember? 229 00:10:03,354 --> 00:10:04,480 I'll wear latex. 230 00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:06,774 Okay. My little Psychos might be into that. 231 00:10:06,858 --> 00:10:10,236 I need you to use your annoyingly specific brain diving powers 232 00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:12,363 to help me recover a very important 233 00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:13,865 and very intimate memory. 234 00:10:13,948 --> 00:10:16,367 Ooh, yummy. 235 00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:28,671 Camping? Aw, shit! You tricked me. 236 00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:31,132 There better be a snow orgy in here or I'm out. 237 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:32,215 Shut it! 238 00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:40,475 Nightwing, ha-ha. Beat you! 239 00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:42,560 I rescued Batgirl. 240 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,521 Here, I made you another friendship bracelet. 241 00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:46,731 Put it on. 242 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,858 Oh, cut the crap, Harley. 243 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,069 You kidnapped Babs. 244 00:10:51,152 --> 00:10:52,629 You may have fooled some more gullible heroes, 245 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,465 but I always knew you were plotting to take us down. 246 00:10:54,489 --> 00:10:56,657 Oh, need help putting on your friendship bracelet? 247 00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:59,869 More like a lies and deceit bracelet. 248 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,204 You're not a hero. 249 00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,790 You're a vapid, carb-obsessed killer. 250 00:11:03,915 --> 00:11:05,917 You'll always be a villain. 251 00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,460 I'm a good guy. 252 00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:09,879 I am a good guy. 253 00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,756 I'm a good guy. 254 00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:13,633 I'm a good guy. 255 00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:14,842 I'm a good guy. 256 00:11:14,926 --> 00:11:16,677 I'm a good guy. 257 00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,471 I'm a good guy. 258 00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:23,893 Oh, look. It looks so cute on you. 259 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,189 I killed Nightwing. 260 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:29,607 And you didn't know! 261 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,360 My God, that is some hella repressed shit! 262 00:11:32,443 --> 00:11:33,443 Get me out of here. 263 00:11:36,823 --> 00:11:38,157 Oh, my God. Nightwing was right. 264 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,201 I'm a villain at my core. 265 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:43,496 Ooh, breaking the exclusive scoop 266 00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:45,706 that hero Harley Quinn 267 00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,583 killed Gotham's hottest heinie 268 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:51,462 is gonna beat my Joker-getting-owned-by-Batgirl episode. 269 00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:54,132 DJ Psycho. 270 00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:58,094 Remember, chest out, caress the club, 271 00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:02,098 swizzle your hips and swing. 272 00:12:12,150 --> 00:12:13,484 I'm a kingmaker. 273 00:12:13,568 --> 00:12:15,695 Looks like someone just won Clegg's vote 274 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,030 and that someone is sh... Me. 275 00:12:18,156 --> 00:12:20,032 Usurper! 276 00:12:20,158 --> 00:12:22,660 Uh, I think you meant, "You super." 277 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:23,953 Heyo! 278 00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,204 Hey, Lex. I think I smell 279 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,499 an "in your fuckin' face" coming. 280 00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:31,169 Ho, oh! 281 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,675 Well, that's a real kick in the cooter. 282 00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:40,386 Hey, Ive. 283 00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,697 I figured out who killed Nightwing. 284 00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:42,805 It was me. Case closed. 285 00:12:42,889 --> 00:12:44,140 Whoa. Are you okay? 286 00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,600 Hmm... As an investigator, 287 00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:47,202 it is nice to finally nice to know whodunnit. 288 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:49,353 But as a good guy, it's pretty fucking bad. 289 00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:50,229 Ugh, yikes. 290 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,898 But also, crazy coinkidink. 291 00:12:52,023 --> 00:12:53,941 I just accidentally killed Clegg, 292 00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:57,361 the linchpin to my dramatic boardroom takeover plan. 293 00:12:57,445 --> 00:12:59,530 Oh, we are such twin flames. 294 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,240 My shit's fucked, too. 295 00:13:01,324 --> 00:13:03,218 Okay. Now I just gotta figure out how to keep Psycho quiet. 296 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,763 Oh, I'm totally down to kill Psycho, honey, 'cause I'm on a roll. 297 00:13:05,787 --> 00:13:06,871 Ha! Jokes. 298 00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:08,289 Wait. That gives me an idea. 299 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,092 Keep you posted. Bye. 300 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,727 How long would it take you 301 00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:13,951 to get to Psycho's recording studio? 302 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:15,713 What up, pigtails? 303 00:13:15,797 --> 00:13:17,358 I wanna prank my former associate, Dr. Psycho. 304 00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:18,817 Of course, I immediately thought of you, 305 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,968 you know, since you are the lord of hijinks. 306 00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:22,446 You know, you never respond to my GIFs. 307 00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,305 So I was worried you didn't think I was funny. 308 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:25,848 I need to work on my self-confidence. 309 00:13:25,932 --> 00:13:27,517 Ugh, that's a very male take. 310 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,726 So, what are we doing? 311 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,228 Prank call? Rubber snake? 312 00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:32,563 Generic brand plastic wrap on the toilet seat? 313 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:35,358 Or what if you turned back time five minutes? 314 00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:38,403 Psycho hates doing ads, and if we go back five minutes, 315 00:13:38,528 --> 00:13:40,738 he'll have to do them all over again. 316 00:13:43,616 --> 00:13:44,616 I'm in. 317 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,169 Looks like someone just won Clegg's vote 318 00:13:55,253 --> 00:13:57,797 and that someone is sh... Me. 319 00:13:57,922 --> 00:13:59,590 Usurper! 320 00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:02,427 Uh, I think you meant, "You super." 321 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:03,803 Heyo! 322 00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:05,096 Hey, Lex. I think I smell 323 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,766 an "in your fucking face" coming. 324 00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:12,687 Oh, f... 325 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:14,522 Wow. Two holes in one. 326 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:17,483 Oh, God. Who invited the virgin? 327 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:19,902 You selling candy for your rec league, son? 328 00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:23,990 Ah, you're right! This is hilarious. 329 00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:25,742 All right. Thank you. Time to go. 330 00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:27,577 Why? 331 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:30,621 Can't we just hang and bask in these righteous friendship LOLs... 332 00:14:30,747 --> 00:14:31,831 Get outta here! 333 00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,458 Right in the kid Flashes! 334 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:35,918 All right. Ready to see that salacious memory? 335 00:14:36,002 --> 00:14:38,188 Oh, yeah. You know, I just remembered the thing I forgot. 336 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:40,131 And it was no biggie. Peace out. 337 00:14:43,468 --> 00:14:45,470 So, do you believe me now? 338 00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,221 Yeah. I guess I was so messed up. 339 00:14:47,305 --> 00:14:48,490 I didn't know what I was doing. 340 00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,874 But I really wanna make this right. 341 00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:51,392 That's what doubles are for. 342 00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:53,394 I'm here to help. 343 00:14:53,478 --> 00:14:54,604 The fuck are you doing? 344 00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:56,481 Making this right like you said. 345 00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:58,608 Now the Bat Fam gets the Harley they deserve 346 00:14:58,691 --> 00:15:00,943 and you won't keep 86ing your coworkers. 347 00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:03,071 Coworker. Singular. 348 00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,947 Shockwave to the leaderboard. 349 00:15:05,031 --> 00:15:06,532 Poison Ivy kills Clegg. 350 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,326 We haven't seen a disaster like this since 351 00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:10,828 Blake Lively's British accent. 352 00:15:10,912 --> 00:15:12,747 Oh, woe! 353 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:14,332 We hardly knew ye. 354 00:15:14,457 --> 00:15:16,417 Oh. 355 00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,509 Ivy, can we get a comment? 356 00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:26,511 Um... Yeah. I mean, you see, 357 00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:31,140 low visibility because Lex blocked out the fucking sun. 358 00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:33,017 Oh, fuck. 359 00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:35,353 Forgive me. I was repaying a debt. 360 00:15:35,478 --> 00:15:38,189 Whoever said golf was boring... Ha! 361 00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:40,108 Jealous. 362 00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:42,527 I wish I thought to kill Clegg. 363 00:15:42,652 --> 00:15:45,196 Now the board will be locked into a tie, 364 00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:46,864 securing my position. 365 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:51,244 Suddenly, I understand what it feels like to snatch a wig. 366 00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:54,539 In you go, original sin. 367 00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:56,916 Gah. Who the fuck are they? 368 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,668 Criminals like you. 369 00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:00,211 It was ketamine therapy, 370 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,339 And you tried to get reimbursed by insurance, which is fraud. 371 00:16:03,423 --> 00:16:04,882 What did the nun do? 372 00:16:04,966 --> 00:16:06,527 I torrented Keeping Up with the Kardashians 373 00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,237 because I didn't want to add to their empire. 374 00:16:08,261 --> 00:16:09,470 First, it's piracy. 375 00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:12,014 Then a few clicks later, it's murder. 376 00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:13,558 You know this better than anyone. 377 00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,393 Okay, listen, I'd never punish anyone 378 00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:16,853 for this jaywalking-level crap. 379 00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:19,272 I started hero-ing because I wanted to help people. 380 00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:22,942 There is no redemption, only justice. Kick! 381 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,413 But I'm supposed to be the upgrade. 382 00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:38,833 Put in a good word for me with the dude upstairs, Sister. 383 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:42,712 And finally, there's a motion on the docket to oust me. 384 00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:46,591 Yeah, because CEOs should be leaders, 385 00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:52,847 not petty, sun-blocking, uh, dumb dum-dums. 386 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,767 All in favor of me maintaining my position, say "aye". 387 00:16:55,892 --> 00:16:57,393 - Aye. - Nay. 388 00:16:57,477 --> 00:16:58,561 - Aye. - Nay. 389 00:16:58,644 --> 00:16:59,764 - Aye. - Nay. 390 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:01,022 - Aye. - Aye. 391 00:17:01,105 --> 00:17:02,315 - Nay. - 6-6. 392 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,443 I remain CEO of LexCorp. 393 00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,695 You can't take what's mine. 394 00:17:07,779 --> 00:17:10,406 I take what's yours. 395 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,617 Hmm, what is this? 396 00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:15,453 B12. Delicious. 397 00:17:16,454 --> 00:17:18,622 What about Clegg's vote? 398 00:17:18,706 --> 00:17:19,791 Hi, who are you? 399 00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:23,002 Devora Macklewaithe, Clegg's wife. Well, I was 400 00:17:23,127 --> 00:17:26,756 until you impaled his butthole with this golf club. 401 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,883 So, say "aye," 402 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:31,969 as was his dying wish. 403 00:17:32,053 --> 00:17:33,221 Ivy, I don't know you, 404 00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:35,139 And I hate your shoes. 405 00:17:35,223 --> 00:17:37,451 But your girlfriend avenged my clavicle when no one else would. 406 00:17:37,475 --> 00:17:39,102 Especially Clegg. 407 00:17:39,185 --> 00:17:42,230 So, the least I can do is vote with you on whatever this is. 408 00:17:42,313 --> 00:17:43,481 Nay. 409 00:17:43,606 --> 00:17:45,483 Nay? Nay? It's a nay. 410 00:17:45,608 --> 00:17:48,319 Whose balls are in the cat box now, bitch? 411 00:18:00,123 --> 00:18:02,250 Batgirl, I've been looking everywhere for you. 412 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,335 I brought coffees. Very detective-y, huh? 413 00:18:04,419 --> 00:18:06,087 I'm never gonna find Nightwing's killer. 414 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,588 Ugh, you'll get the next one. 415 00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:09,590 I fucked up a million times. 416 00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:11,342 And you never gave up on me. 417 00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,529 Even when I killed Professor Pyg or doxed that mailman. 418 00:18:13,553 --> 00:18:14,595 I mean, we all mess up. 419 00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,806 The world is not black and white. 420 00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:18,433 I mean, now it actually kind of is. 421 00:18:18,516 --> 00:18:20,351 But, like, normally. 422 00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:22,121 Okay, are you gonna say something, or am I just standing out here 423 00:18:22,145 --> 00:18:24,313 with my emotional dick out for everyone to laugh at? 424 00:18:24,397 --> 00:18:27,024 Back away from that imposter, girlfriend. 425 00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:30,194 I'm the real Harley. 426 00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,530 You sneaky little skank. 427 00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:33,698 How did you get out? 428 00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:36,617 Damn it, I'm good. 429 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,619 What's happening? Is... Is this a Flash prank? 430 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:41,205 I don't always get his humor, but it's easier just to laugh. 431 00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:45,043 Stop that! 432 00:18:48,963 --> 00:18:50,631 Oh, yeah. 433 00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:53,301 You wanna dance, baby? Let's fucking dance. 434 00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:01,976 Batgirl, help. Ugh! 435 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,520 This ghoul's trying to take over my life. 436 00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:08,983 Well, you aren't doing anything with it. 437 00:19:18,493 --> 00:19:20,078 I'm the better Bat Harley. 438 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,589 Wait. Which one of you is Harley? 439 00:19:31,714 --> 00:19:33,567 - Me! - Oh, my God, we sound nothing alike. 440 00:19:33,591 --> 00:19:35,927 Her voice is so grating. I hate it! 441 00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:39,138 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 442 00:19:41,933 --> 00:19:43,643 The world isn't black and white. 443 00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:47,063 Of course, it is. 444 00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:51,651 Mwah. 445 00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:53,653 I knew I was a good kisser. 446 00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:55,988 Wait! 447 00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:00,636 Hey, they're giving away free mashed taters. 448 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,078 Kids, get your spoons. 449 00:20:02,161 --> 00:20:03,996 Harley, why'd you do that? 450 00:20:04,122 --> 00:20:04,997 She killed Nightwing. 451 00:20:05,123 --> 00:20:06,958 That fricking B! 452 00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:11,254 All right. We are deactivating the EarthSaver. 453 00:20:11,337 --> 00:20:13,589 So... Are you gonna push it? 454 00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:16,217 Yeah. I was just waiting for... Is, uh... Where's Lex? 455 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,679 I gotta go. I start to get hives being around this many notties. 456 00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:21,365 Okay, fine, now. It's fine, it's fine, I'll... 457 00:20:21,389 --> 00:20:22,432 Boom! 458 00:20:33,818 --> 00:20:36,904 My walnuts are back to being royal blue. 459 00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:45,705 Whoo! One step closer to dismantling the patriarchy, am I right? 460 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,915 Who wants margaritas? 461 00:20:53,671 --> 00:20:55,590 This doesn't feel like a victory. 462 00:20:57,091 --> 00:21:00,011 I can't believe I was working with an impostor. 463 00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:01,655 Although it does explain how amped you were 464 00:21:01,679 --> 00:21:03,389 to persecute trademark infringements. 465 00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,516 And I've increased my body count. 466 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,643 She was a murderer and a potato. 467 00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,413 So this doesn't technically count as killing? 468 00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:11,022 Yeah, it was basically cooking. 469 00:21:11,147 --> 00:21:13,547 But listen, I don't wanna keep getting off on technicalities. 470 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,610 I came to tell you I'm quitting the Bat Family. 471 00:21:15,693 --> 00:21:17,653 What? Harley, why? 472 00:21:17,737 --> 00:21:19,489 I'm tired of fighting who I am. 473 00:21:19,572 --> 00:21:21,616 Your Double was totally by the book, 474 00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,367 but I choose you. 475 00:21:23,493 --> 00:21:24,869 And I'd always choose you. 476 00:21:24,994 --> 00:21:26,913 You just need to work on your hero instincts. 477 00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:29,665 Trying to live up to your rules fucked up my relationship with Ivy 478 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:31,542 and messed with my brain. 479 00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:34,021 Even when I thought I was doing great, I still killed someone. 480 00:21:34,045 --> 00:21:36,214 Who tried to take over your life. 481 00:21:36,339 --> 00:21:40,718 Yes. Okay. My Double was intensely annoying and uptight and bossy as shit. 482 00:21:40,802 --> 00:21:43,596 But neither he nor that great ass deserved to die. 483 00:21:43,721 --> 00:21:44,555 You mean she? 484 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,182 Yep. Anyway, I'm sorry. 485 00:21:46,265 --> 00:21:49,435 But I'm finally ready to admit I can't do this. 486 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,312 But you can't quit the Bat Family. 487 00:21:51,396 --> 00:21:52,647 But I am. 488 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:53,999 The more I force it, the more bad stuff 489 00:21:54,023 --> 00:21:55,775 keeps happening and I... 490 00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:00,321 No, no, no. 491 00:22:00,405 --> 00:22:02,448 No, no, no. 35849

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