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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:47,971 --> 00:00:52,032 One of the best things about living in a city like New York... 2 00:00:52,108 --> 00:00:53,598 is leaving it. 3 00:00:57,547 --> 00:00:59,674 My friend Patience and her husband... 4 00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:01,717 invited me to the Hamptons for the weekend. 5 00:01:03,153 --> 00:01:05,553 Patience and Peter were the perfect married couple. 6 00:01:05,622 --> 00:01:07,385 They were fun, smart... 7 00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:09,550 and they looked like they fell out of a J. Crew catalog. 8 00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:13,392 If their house wasn't right on the beach, I would have hated them. 9 00:01:13,463 --> 00:01:16,990 So he gets in the cab and slides up next to me. 10 00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,895 Yes? 11 00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,099 And it is hot. 12 00:01:24,975 --> 00:01:27,443 It is hot all the way from Houston and West Broadway... 13 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:29,068 to 72nd and Madison. 14 00:01:29,145 --> 00:01:32,706 Hampton houseguests are always required to sing for their supper. 15 00:01:32,782 --> 00:01:37,151 Brokers give investment advice. Architects, design advice. 16 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:41,953 Single people give married friends tidbits from their sexual escapades. 17 00:01:43,693 --> 00:01:46,958 The next morning I woke up feeling rested and fabulous. 18 00:01:47,030 --> 00:01:49,897 I couldn't wait to go out and take in the spectacular view. 19 00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:52,497 Morning. 20 00:01:54,137 --> 00:01:56,731 Patience went out to get juice and muffins. 21 00:01:56,806 --> 00:01:58,398 She'll be right back. 22 00:01:58,475 --> 00:02:00,136 There he was... 23 00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:03,737 full-frontal friend. 24 00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,007 Good! 25 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:08,915 He just stood there, casual, happy, hanging out. 26 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,180 - I didn't know what to do or say. - Great! 27 00:02:11,254 --> 00:02:14,917 I only knew one thing... that's way too much Peter before coffee. 28 00:02:15,725 --> 00:02:17,852 - Good morning. - Hey. 29 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:21,363 Got some fresh juice and the good muffins. 30 00:02:22,932 --> 00:02:24,991 So what's happening? 31 00:02:27,337 --> 00:02:31,831 I ran into Peter in the hallway without his underwear on. 32 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,842 P.S. Congratulations. 33 00:02:37,681 --> 00:02:38,909 Sunny day. 34 00:02:38,982 --> 00:02:42,042 Honey, did Carrie see your dick in the hall? 35 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,712 Yeah, she caught me on the way to the bathroom. 36 00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:47,222 Oh. "On the way to the bathroom." 37 00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:50,851 Oh, yeah! The good muffins. 38 00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:56,961 So what are we doing today? 39 00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:59,934 I barely had time to shove a "good muffin" in my purse... 40 00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:01,937 before I was on my way back to New York. 41 00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:04,667 I'm confused. Why would he do that? Did he want to have sex with you? 42 00:03:04,741 --> 00:03:06,732 I don't know. It didn't feel sexual. 43 00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:09,335 Maybe we wanted to show it off. Like a monkey. 44 00:03:10,513 --> 00:03:13,710 - So how big was it? - Fresh pepper? 45 00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:18,116 Yes, please. Thank you very much. 46 00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:21,819 - That'll do. - Would you like some fresh pepper? 47 00:03:21,891 --> 00:03:24,519 Oh, honey, I'd love some fresh pepper. 48 00:03:24,594 --> 00:03:28,394 In fact, I think everyone at this table could use a lot of fresh pepper. 49 00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,000 Thanks. 50 00:03:36,339 --> 00:03:39,069 So I told her I didn't understand why she was so upset. 51 00:03:39,142 --> 00:03:41,940 She said I couldn't understand it. I'm single. 52 00:03:42,011 --> 00:03:44,878 And what? Single women prowl beach houses... 53 00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:47,940 hoping for glimpses of their friends' husbands' dicks? 54 00:03:48,017 --> 00:03:50,850 - How good a friend was she? - What's the difference? 55 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,854 When someone gets married, all bets are off. 56 00:03:52,922 --> 00:03:55,254 They become married, and we become the enemy. 57 00:03:55,325 --> 00:03:57,452 As the only single lawyer working at her law firm... 58 00:03:57,527 --> 00:03:59,461 Miranda had given this topic some thought. 59 00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:02,362 Married women are threatened because we can have sex... 60 00:04:02,432 --> 00:04:04,593 anytime, anywhere with anyone. 61 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:05,929 We can? 62 00:04:06,002 --> 00:04:09,870 And they're afraid we're gonna have it anytime, anywhere with their husbands. 63 00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:11,634 I would never sleep with a married man. 64 00:04:11,708 --> 00:04:14,609 What makes you so sure you haven't? Wedding rings come off, you know. 65 00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:18,773 Face it, ladies. If you're still single, you are not to be trusted. 66 00:04:18,848 --> 00:04:21,476 Come on! Not all married women feel that way. 67 00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:25,180 Charlotte treated marriage like a sorority she was hoping to pledge. 68 00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:27,280 You're right. Not all. 69 00:04:27,357 --> 00:04:29,348 The ones who don't fear you pity you. 70 00:04:29,426 --> 00:04:31,291 That's not true. 71 00:04:31,361 --> 00:04:34,421 Are you telling me you haven't gotten those "poor single you" looks? 72 00:04:34,497 --> 00:04:36,897 - I hate those. - Okay, yes, I have. 73 00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:40,094 I hate it when you're the only single person at a dinner party... 74 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,432 and they all look at you like you're a... 75 00:04:41,504 --> 00:04:42,630 - Loser. - Leper. 76 00:04:42,705 --> 00:04:44,866 - Whore. - Exactly! 77 00:04:44,941 --> 00:04:47,432 I'm telling you, married people are the enemy. 78 00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:51,844 Was Miranda right? Were we enemies? 79 00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:54,941 Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles? 80 00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:59,116 I love my single friends. But now that I'm married... 81 00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:01,623 I don't see them as much as I used to. 82 00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,784 It's too painful. 83 00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:06,920 They remind me of how desperate I used to be. 84 00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:09,692 When women get married, they forget who they are. 85 00:05:09,766 --> 00:05:12,860 "L" becomes "we." "We" loved the movie. 86 00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,870 "We" hate that restaurant. 87 00:05:16,473 --> 00:05:19,442 My best buddy and I did everything together. 88 00:05:19,509 --> 00:05:22,034 Then he married this girl who doesn't like me. 89 00:05:22,111 --> 00:05:24,477 Now I only see him on Super Bowl Sunday. 90 00:05:24,547 --> 00:05:26,481 It's all about what you want out of life. 91 00:05:26,549 --> 00:05:29,074 Some people, like me, choose to grow up... 92 00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:31,086 face reality and get married. 93 00:05:31,154 --> 00:05:33,520 Others choose to, what? 94 00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:37,788 Live an empty, haunted life of stunted adolescence. 95 00:05:37,861 --> 00:05:41,262 No, it's not a cold war. It's an out-and-out battle. 96 00:05:41,331 --> 00:05:43,492 And it isn't just straight people. 97 00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:46,262 Every gay guy I know is running off to Hawaii... 98 00:05:46,336 --> 00:05:48,600 putting on a caftan, reciting vows... 99 00:05:48,671 --> 00:05:50,468 and feeling superior to me. 100 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:53,509 - Caftan? - Oh, yes, with orchid leis. 101 00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:54,508 Aloha. 102 00:05:56,012 --> 00:05:58,105 I miss the old times when everyone was alone. 103 00:05:58,181 --> 00:06:01,344 Now I'm starting to feel like I'm an outcast in the outcasts. 104 00:06:03,286 --> 00:06:05,686 Oh, my God! Joe! 105 00:06:07,824 --> 00:06:10,884 It's been years. I haven't seen you since you were... 106 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,052 Straight? 107 00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:14,289 I was gonna say in Miss Saigon. 108 00:06:14,364 --> 00:06:17,231 - Still am. - I love Miss Saigon. 109 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:20,269 Oh, this is my friend Stanford. 110 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,634 This is my life partner Lou. 111 00:06:22,705 --> 00:06:24,730 Oh, look at that. 112 00:06:24,807 --> 00:06:27,970 - Congratulations. - Where are you registered? 113 00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:30,740 - Barney's. - I was kidding. 114 00:06:31,481 --> 00:06:33,813 How about you? Are you married? 115 00:06:33,883 --> 00:06:35,908 Not really. I mean no! 116 00:06:35,985 --> 00:06:40,149 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Perfect! 117 00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:44,950 - What? - Lou and I want to have a child. 118 00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:48,054 We already have a surrogate, but we need a topnotch egg. 119 00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:51,760 What are your feelings about donating one? 120 00:06:53,503 --> 00:06:55,937 Listen, here's our card. 121 00:06:56,005 --> 00:06:57,973 You think about it, and give us a call. 122 00:06:58,041 --> 00:07:00,100 - We'll pay. - Great seeing you. 123 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:06,515 I had just experienced single-bashing for the new millennium. 124 00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:09,074 I was no longer considered a person. 125 00:07:09,152 --> 00:07:11,552 I was now an egg farm. 126 00:07:11,621 --> 00:07:13,521 Meanwhile, in a park downtown... 127 00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:16,354 another single woman was about to be humiliated. 128 00:07:16,426 --> 00:07:20,487 Miranda was obliged to attend her firm's annual softball game. 129 00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:22,656 A law firm softball game is like any other... 130 00:07:22,732 --> 00:07:25,633 except when a lawyer steals a base, he gets promoted. 131 00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:28,500 Miranda. I was afraid you wouldn't come. 132 00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:30,505 All right. Let's get it over with. 133 00:07:32,108 --> 00:07:36,374 Panicked at the idea of spending another firm function labeled as a leper... 134 00:07:36,446 --> 00:07:39,779 Miranda had agreed to be fixed up on a blind date. 135 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:42,409 Miranda, this is Syd. Syd, Miranda. 136 00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:47,323 Look at you two. It's a perfect match. 137 00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:50,188 Well, I'm gonna excuse myself. 138 00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:54,820 - Nice to meet you. - You too. 139 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:57,695 I'm gonna get a soda. You want a soda? 140 00:07:57,767 --> 00:08:00,668 - Yeah. - I'm gonna get us a soda. 141 00:08:02,372 --> 00:08:03,339 Jeff. 142 00:08:03,406 --> 00:08:05,636 Pretty great, huh? Can I pick 'em or what? 143 00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,108 Yeah. I'm not gay. 144 00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:09,269 Seriously? 145 00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:13,042 I've been with the firm eight months. I haven't once seen you with a guy. 146 00:08:13,116 --> 00:08:15,414 Circumstantial, Jeff. I'm single. 147 00:08:15,485 --> 00:08:18,477 Christ! When did being single translate into being gay? 148 00:08:18,554 --> 00:08:20,522 Shit. 149 00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:23,684 You want me to go over there... 150 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,728 No, I'll do it. 151 00:08:28,264 --> 00:08:31,893 Brave Miranda marched right over and told Syd she wasn't. 152 00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:34,835 They had a good laugh and decided to stay and play ball. 153 00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:49,616 Miranda and Syd's last-inning double play got the attention of everyone... 154 00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:51,916 even the firm's senior partner. 155 00:08:51,988 --> 00:08:54,855 - That was quite a play, ladies. - It's all about teamwork, Charles. 156 00:08:54,924 --> 00:08:57,722 - Chip. - Chip. 157 00:08:57,794 --> 00:09:01,628 My wife and I are having a dinner party on the 12th. 158 00:09:01,698 --> 00:09:03,666 Just some couples, nothing fancy. 159 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,928 We'd love it if you both could make it. 160 00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:07,435 We'd love to. 161 00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:15,208 Later that night, Miranda gave me the lowdown on her day. 162 00:09:15,278 --> 00:09:18,873 So you think it's just because they think you're in a couple? 163 00:09:18,948 --> 00:09:21,143 I know it. I've been with the firm for two years. 164 00:09:21,217 --> 00:09:24,277 He's barely spoken to me. All of a sudden, it's "Chip." 165 00:09:24,353 --> 00:09:26,082 A lawyer named Chip. Gotta love that. 166 00:09:26,155 --> 00:09:29,249 And they seemed so relieved to have finally figured me out. 167 00:09:29,325 --> 00:09:31,623 So you're going to the dinner? 168 00:09:31,694 --> 00:09:34,424 Yup. I'm determined to make partner in this firm... 169 00:09:34,497 --> 00:09:36,931 even if I have to be a lesbian partner. 170 00:09:36,999 --> 00:09:39,297 After Miranda left, I had a thought. 171 00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:41,666 Maybe the cold war isn't about hate. 172 00:09:41,738 --> 00:09:45,765 Maybe it's about fear, fear of the unknown. 173 00:09:45,842 --> 00:09:48,276 Married people don't hate singles. 174 00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:51,677 They just want us figured out. 175 00:09:51,748 --> 00:09:54,342 I felt it was time to stop all the speculation... 176 00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,180 and infiltrate the enemy camp. 177 00:09:56,252 --> 00:10:00,313 Lunch with my favorite couple, David and Lisa. 178 00:10:00,389 --> 00:10:03,654 Well, I don't think of us as married so much as together. 179 00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:05,318 - Wait. Are we married? - Yeah. 180 00:10:05,394 --> 00:10:08,261 Remember that day you wore the white dress and we got all the flatware? 181 00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:10,060 Oh, yeah. 182 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,499 I guess I should stop seeing other men. 183 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:14,729 What about you? You like being single? 184 00:10:14,804 --> 00:10:16,635 Most of the time, yeah. 185 00:10:16,706 --> 00:10:18,606 Then there are the other times. 186 00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:22,337 Like family functions when you're the only one that's not married... 187 00:10:22,411 --> 00:10:24,140 and they sit you at the kid's table. 188 00:10:24,213 --> 00:10:29,344 Or when you two eat off the same fork, I just... 189 00:10:29,418 --> 00:10:31,352 Oh, man, that's so sweet. 190 00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:34,446 Don't start crying. He's such a pussy. 191 00:10:34,524 --> 00:10:37,288 But you do want to get married someday, right? 192 00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:39,220 I don't know. 193 00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:41,729 I'm beginning to think I may not be the marrying kind. 194 00:10:41,798 --> 00:10:42,856 Really? 195 00:10:42,932 --> 00:10:45,196 No sooner had the words come out of my mouth... 196 00:10:45,268 --> 00:10:47,236 than I wondered if they were true. 197 00:10:47,904 --> 00:10:50,873 Hey, Sean! What a surprise! 198 00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:53,135 This is our friend Carrie. 199 00:10:53,209 --> 00:10:55,143 We just about to have dessert. Want to join us? 200 00:10:56,212 --> 00:10:57,474 Sure. 201 00:10:58,781 --> 00:11:00,749 This is such a surprise. 202 00:11:00,817 --> 00:11:06,483 Another time I hate being single is when married friends "surprise" fix you up. 203 00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:08,581 Two espressos and a tiramisu later... 204 00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:11,286 I had learned that Sean was the youngest of three brothers... 205 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,294 had his own investment firm... 206 00:11:13,362 --> 00:11:16,331 and was about to move into an apartment he had just purchased. 207 00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,867 - You know this was a fix-up, right? - Oh, please. 208 00:11:18,935 --> 00:11:21,062 I could smell it before you walked in the door. 209 00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:23,537 My parents met on a fix-up... 210 00:11:23,606 --> 00:11:26,507 and they will be married 41 years next month. 211 00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:28,635 Wow. That's great. 212 00:11:28,711 --> 00:11:32,147 It was then I realized I was having coffee with the marrying guy. 213 00:11:32,215 --> 00:11:35,548 That elusive and rare Manhattan man whose sights were set on marriage. 214 00:11:35,618 --> 00:11:39,179 So, Carrie, can I see you again? 215 00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:41,390 Sure. 216 00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:49,290 Over the next week and a half, I met Sean for a movie... 217 00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:53,727 I met him for another movie... 218 00:11:56,439 --> 00:12:00,603 and I helped him pick out a top of the line cheese grater at Williams-Sonoma. 219 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,644 My buddies are giving me a big housewarming on the 12th. 220 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:05,772 - You should come and bring your friends. - Sounds like fun. 221 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,242 Thanks for a great day. 222 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:15,188 He was like the flesh-and-blood equivalent of a DKNY dress. 223 00:12:15,258 --> 00:12:19,251 You know it's not your style, but it's right there so you try it on anyway. 224 00:12:21,797 --> 00:12:24,231 It was the night of the 12th. On the East Side... 225 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:28,100 a pseudo-lesbian couple attended a right-wing Republican dinner party. 226 00:12:34,543 --> 00:12:36,977 On the West Side, a trio of single gals... 227 00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:39,640 went to a single guy's housewarming party. 228 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,378 - So are his friends cute? - Don't know. I haven't met them yet. 229 00:12:43,452 --> 00:12:46,182 How did you manage to get a new boyfriend in a week? 230 00:12:46,255 --> 00:12:50,021 He's not my boyfriend. He's just somebody I'm trying on. 231 00:12:50,092 --> 00:12:51,525 All right. Ready? 232 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,631 Everywhere I looked, people were standing in twos. 233 00:13:00,703 --> 00:13:03,866 It was like Noah's Upper West Side rent controlled ark. 234 00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:05,874 It's all married couples. 235 00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:09,673 Samantha gave me a look like I had sold her to the enemy... 236 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,713 for chocolate bars and nylons. 237 00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:15,912 - This is for you. - Thank you. 238 00:13:15,985 --> 00:13:18,010 You must be Charlotte. 239 00:13:18,087 --> 00:13:20,885 - And you have to be Samantha. - Yeah. Where's the bar? 240 00:13:20,957 --> 00:13:24,085 Kitchen. You can't miss it. Room with the stove. 241 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,890 - This apartment is amazing. - I've been planning it for years. 242 00:13:26,963 --> 00:13:28,897 I'll give you the grand tour. 243 00:13:28,965 --> 00:13:33,265 As I moved through the married couples, I noticed something was different. 244 00:13:33,336 --> 00:13:35,861 No fear, no pity, no pointing. 245 00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:39,339 Were Sean's friends cold war conscientious objectors... 246 00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:41,774 or was it just that I was "figured out"? 247 00:13:44,113 --> 00:13:47,810 My accountant says that it's best to go with low-risk stocks. 248 00:13:47,883 --> 00:13:49,942 That depends. What are your expectations? 249 00:13:50,019 --> 00:13:51,884 Well, I'm not sure. 250 00:13:53,122 --> 00:13:56,114 Honey, I need you to come over here and meet someone. 251 00:13:56,192 --> 00:13:58,888 Sure. This is Samantha. Samantha, this is Elaine. 252 00:13:58,961 --> 00:13:59,859 His wife. 253 00:14:01,097 --> 00:14:03,122 Honey, I really need you in the other room. 254 00:14:03,199 --> 00:14:06,396 Sure. It was nice talking to you, Samantha. 255 00:14:10,306 --> 00:14:12,297 And this is the den. 256 00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:15,037 Oh, you have one of these leather club chairs. I love these. 257 00:14:15,111 --> 00:14:17,671 Thanks. I'm using this room as an office now... 258 00:14:17,747 --> 00:14:20,614 but someday this is gonna be the kid's room. 259 00:14:20,683 --> 00:14:21,707 Look. 260 00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:26,853 I got this three years ago in Aspen. 261 00:14:26,922 --> 00:14:28,913 What do you think? 262 00:14:34,397 --> 00:14:35,887 Okay, I owe you. 263 00:14:35,965 --> 00:14:39,162 I didn't know that all his buddies were gonna be married. 264 00:14:39,235 --> 00:14:41,635 Oh, my God. You're doing tequila shots? 265 00:14:41,704 --> 00:14:43,296 You see that buddy over there? 266 00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:46,401 I fucked him. 267 00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:49,741 See that buddy over there? 268 00:14:49,812 --> 00:14:51,507 I fucked him too. 269 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,907 I never thought I'd see them again. 270 00:14:54,984 --> 00:14:57,179 Maybe we should start tagging your married men... 271 00:14:57,253 --> 00:14:59,448 and that way you can keep track of them. 272 00:14:59,522 --> 00:15:03,014 - He's gonna ask you to marry him. - He is not. 273 00:15:03,092 --> 00:15:05,026 I've been dating him a week and a half. 274 00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:08,086 No guy buys a classic six on the Upper West Side... 275 00:15:08,164 --> 00:15:11,156 unless they are seriously thinking about marriage. 276 00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:14,600 Some people read palms. Charlotte read real estate. 277 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,503 If you turn into one of those married assholes... 278 00:15:17,573 --> 00:15:19,507 I'll kill you. 279 00:15:20,943 --> 00:15:24,970 Sean is the greatest guy, and he love kids. 280 00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:30,208 Plus, he owns his own business, and he's got 300,000 in the bank. 281 00:15:30,286 --> 00:15:33,585 We both slept with him, and he is great in bed. 282 00:15:33,656 --> 00:15:35,851 An hour and a half into this housewarming... 283 00:15:35,925 --> 00:15:39,793 I had gone from party guest to prisoner of war. 284 00:15:39,862 --> 00:15:42,194 Samantha is totally drunk. I've gotta get her out of here. 285 00:15:42,264 --> 00:15:45,700 - You're not going anywhere without me. - Carrie. 286 00:15:45,768 --> 00:15:48,794 Oh, God. More friends. 287 00:15:48,871 --> 00:15:50,031 Surprise! 288 00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:52,297 It certainly was. 289 00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:55,207 Last time I saw Patience, she was shoving me on a bus. 290 00:15:55,277 --> 00:15:59,179 When Sean told us you and he were dating, we were so thrilled. 291 00:15:59,248 --> 00:16:03,082 Oh. Well, listen. About what happened at your beach house... 292 00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:05,643 - Don't mention it. - I just... I'm not even sure... 293 00:16:05,721 --> 00:16:07,450 I said don't mention it. 294 00:16:07,523 --> 00:16:10,924 This party is terrible. Who are you? 295 00:16:10,993 --> 00:16:14,451 This is my friend Patience, and this is her husband Peter. 296 00:16:15,631 --> 00:16:17,599 I heard about you. 297 00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:21,202 Big pepper mill dick! 298 00:16:25,407 --> 00:16:27,967 And just as suddenly, our little cease-fire was over. 299 00:16:29,578 --> 00:16:32,843 Meanwhile, across town things were winding down. 300 00:16:32,915 --> 00:16:35,110 Thank you so much. We really had a great time. 301 00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:37,914 As did we all. 302 00:16:37,987 --> 00:16:40,319 She is a real find. 303 00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:42,357 We'll do it again soon. 304 00:16:42,424 --> 00:16:45,393 I'll meet you at the elevator, okay? I need to... 305 00:16:47,496 --> 00:16:49,691 We can't do it again soon. 306 00:16:49,765 --> 00:16:51,756 Syd and I aren't really a couple. 307 00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,496 In fact, we're not even really lesbians. 308 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:57,004 Well, Syd is. I'm not. 309 00:16:57,072 --> 00:16:59,336 I just took advantage of the situation... 310 00:16:59,408 --> 00:17:01,706 to bend your ear about my work at the firm. 311 00:17:02,578 --> 00:17:04,375 Shrewd move, Counselor. 312 00:17:05,114 --> 00:17:07,275 - No harm done. - Thank you, sir. 313 00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,283 My wife will be disappointed. 314 00:17:09,351 --> 00:17:12,809 She was looking to add a lesbian couple to our circle. 315 00:17:17,092 --> 00:17:18,889 As they rode between floors... 316 00:17:18,961 --> 00:17:22,954 Miranda considered how much easier her life would be if she were in a couple. 317 00:17:23,032 --> 00:17:24,465 Any couple. 318 00:17:30,406 --> 00:17:32,237 Yep. 319 00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:34,799 Definitely straight. 320 00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:37,277 Yeah. You are. 321 00:17:38,647 --> 00:17:39,579 Sorry. 322 00:17:41,717 --> 00:17:44,083 While Miranda cursed her heterosexuality... 323 00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:46,815 and wondered how much longer she could fight the war... 324 00:17:47,756 --> 00:17:51,317 Charlotte cursed tequila and forced Samantha into a cab. 325 00:17:51,393 --> 00:17:54,191 She decided Samantha was too drunk to get home alone... 326 00:17:54,263 --> 00:17:56,595 and insisted she spend the night on her couch. 327 00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:08,935 Let me get that door for you. 328 00:18:13,182 --> 00:18:15,116 - All right. - I like him. 329 00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:19,053 She got Samantha upstairs and safely to bed. 330 00:18:19,121 --> 00:18:21,055 Or so she thought. 331 00:18:22,324 --> 00:18:26,590 A couple of hours later, Samantha woke up still drunk and still single. 332 00:18:26,662 --> 00:18:28,755 And single to Samantha meant one thing. 333 00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:38,364 - Can I have a cigarette? - Sure. 334 00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:45,613 Can I have a kiss? 335 00:18:57,259 --> 00:18:58,191 Jesus. 336 00:18:59,928 --> 00:19:02,522 I really shouldn't. Somebody might see. 337 00:19:03,365 --> 00:19:06,129 Why don't you come upstairs, just for a minute? 338 00:19:23,752 --> 00:19:26,880 Don't be scared, miss. It's me, Tommy. I'm just leaving. 339 00:19:26,955 --> 00:19:29,549 Your friend invited me up. I know it was wrong. 340 00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:32,651 But I've been so lonely since I left home... 341 00:19:32,728 --> 00:19:34,662 and I wanted the feel of... 342 00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:37,460 a woman's touch on me. 343 00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:40,461 I'm going into the bathroom now... 344 00:19:40,536 --> 00:19:44,267 and when I come out, you won't be here. 345 00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:46,274 And I never want this mentioned again. 346 00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:49,875 Let me get the door for you, miss. 347 00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:01,248 I was hoping you'd stay over. 348 00:20:05,728 --> 00:20:08,128 Look, Sean... 349 00:20:08,197 --> 00:20:09,994 I don't think this is gonna work. 350 00:20:10,065 --> 00:20:13,000 We want different things. You obviously want to get married... 351 00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:15,229 and I don't know what I want. 352 00:20:18,107 --> 00:20:20,405 You could smell my desperation, right? 353 00:20:23,078 --> 00:20:24,511 It's just... 354 00:20:26,415 --> 00:20:28,815 I was trying you on. 355 00:20:28,884 --> 00:20:30,647 You know? See if it fit. 356 00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:34,045 It doesn't. 357 00:20:34,123 --> 00:20:35,784 I'm sorry. 358 00:20:43,432 --> 00:20:45,866 I don't understand you women. 359 00:20:45,934 --> 00:20:47,765 All I hear is... 360 00:20:47,836 --> 00:20:50,100 "I want to get married." 361 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,640 And none of you says yes. What the fuck? 362 00:21:03,886 --> 00:21:06,855 I'm so tired of going through women. 363 00:21:06,922 --> 00:21:08,856 I just want to get married. 364 00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:13,657 I may know someone who's perfect for you. 365 00:21:15,898 --> 00:21:16,830 Who? 366 00:21:16,899 --> 00:21:21,302 They started out casual... a brunch here, a concert there. 367 00:21:21,370 --> 00:21:24,066 But pretty soon they were visiting china. 368 00:21:24,139 --> 00:21:27,074 I always wanted this pattern for formal dining. 369 00:21:28,677 --> 00:21:30,611 Are you serious? 370 00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:37,383 Charlotte broke it off then and there. It would never work. 371 00:21:37,453 --> 00:21:40,445 He was American Classic; she was French Country. 372 00:21:42,891 --> 00:21:45,121 Your friend never called like she promised. 373 00:21:45,194 --> 00:21:48,322 - Why is that? - I don't know. 374 00:21:53,202 --> 00:21:56,399 As I sifted through the rubble of my marriage skirmish... 375 00:21:56,472 --> 00:21:57,564 I had a thought. 376 00:21:57,639 --> 00:21:59,971 Maybe the fight between marrieds and singles... 377 00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:02,067 is like the war in Northern Ireland. 378 00:22:02,144 --> 00:22:04,078 We're all basically the same... 379 00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:06,740 but somehow we wound up on different sides. 380 00:22:06,815 --> 00:22:10,808 Sure, it'd be great to have that one special person to walk home with... 381 00:22:10,886 --> 00:22:12,877 but sometimes there's nothing better... 382 00:22:12,955 --> 00:22:15,515 than meeting your single girlfriends for a night at the movies. 383 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:44,000 Translation And Subtitles By Captions, Inc. Los Angeles 384 00:22:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew 30632

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