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1
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,274
Come, Phyllis. Come.
2
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,450
What are we doing here?
3
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,744
I thought you were taking me home.
4
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,122
Good evening,
what can I do for you?
5
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,583
We would
like a double room.
6
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,210
With a shower and toilet?
7
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,336
Yes, please.
8
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,379
Room 308.
9
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:29,339
Many thanks.
10
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:30,423
Come, Phyllis.
11
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:31,674
But...
12
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,093
Hello, Rebeccal
13
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:37,263
Hey, Robinson, do you have a
room for me, too?
14
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:38,932
Loverboy wants to show me his dick.
15
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,268
Excuse me for asking, but...
16
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:46,356
Here in the hotel...
surely you've got...
17
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:51,945
a condom machine or something?
18
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,739
There's rubbers
upstairs on the bedside table.
19
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,658
They're on the house.
20
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,119
That�s very considerate.
21
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,457
I'm sure you're wondering what
all this is about, Phyllis.
22
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,586
You see, my deatr,
I'm afraid I lied this morning
23
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,506
when I told you that you
passed all your exams.
24
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,758
You lied?
25
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,093
Yes, Phyllis.
26
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,679
In truth, you're nine points short.
27
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:21,474
Four in sociology
and five in psychology.
28
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,061
But that's terrible.
29
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:25,979
No, no.
30
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,522
It's not terrible.
31
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,232
And do you know why?
32
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,067
Because I'm your examiner.
33
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,946
You're a hardworking
girl, Phyllis.
34
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,198
You've earned your degree.
35
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:42,787
I'll take care of the nine points,
nobody will know.
36
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,956
It will stay our secret.
37
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,835
But now, you have to
do something for me.
38
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,671
I'm crazy about you, Phyllis.
39
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,924
- But teacher, sir...
- For years, I've idolized you.
40
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,968
Take off your blouse, please.
41
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:02,015
You have no idea how much
I've longed for this moment.
42
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,767
The years of suffering...
43
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,811
Don't touch me!
44
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,402
All right, then.
45
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,071
Of course, I don't want
to force you into anything.
46
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,282
But you have to know
47
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,243
that under these circumstances,
I can't accommodate you, either.
48
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,787
Your parents will be
very disappointed, Phyllis.
49
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,581
But that's your choice.
50
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,752
Asshole.
51
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,589
Ah, you're coming
to your senses, Phyllis.
52
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,175
That pleases me very much.
53
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,221
But don't cry, please.
54
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,557
Look, did you know
55
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,851
that hotels have free condoms?
56
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,311
What?
57
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:52,357
I'm sure this safer sex campaign
is costing the government billions.
58
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,489
Now, lie back and relax.
59
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,369
But what --
60
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,586
Thisis a
non-smoking elevator, asshole.
61
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,507
Stinks like an ashtray.
62
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,895
- Good morning, detective.
63
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,941
- Hey, Mackeroni.
The word on the street is
64
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,193
some pimp over on 42nd street
put his mother-in-law
65
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:22,322
in the tumble dryer and
threw it out the window.
66
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,406
You want the case?
67
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,117
- He needs a bottle
of aspirin and a coffee first.
68
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,370
- That's not my department.
69
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,414
Do you think I'm a fireman or something?
70
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,042
I think so, too. Yes, exactly.
71
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,880
Ah, well, well, well. If it isn't
Mr. Mackeroni.
72
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,131
Good morning, Captain.
73
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,758
Don't change the subjeci!
74
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,720
If I send for you then move
your ass getting here.
75
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,013
Is that clear?
76
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,931
lt's my day off, sir.
77
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,061
You see
those girls over there?
78
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,688
I thought I had already
seen everything in this city,
79
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,440
but this takes the cake.
80
00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,317
Was there a motive?
81
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,444
- No. The one on the left had some
coke in her pocket
82
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,862
and the one in the
middle stinks of eggnog.
83
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,072
Otherwise, they're clean.
84
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,991
- The fact is, they bit off
their clients'...
85
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,286
genitalia.
86
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,082
There are four cocks in the
lab, neatly lined up side by side,
87
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,209
but these girls are all playing dumb.
88
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,127
- Did you say four dicks?
89
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,879
- Yes, there
was a fourth girl.
90
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,008
Not a hooker, a well-behaved
Oklahoma teenager.
91
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,262
There
was blood all over,
92
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:33,017
and the penis
jumped on the floor
93
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,186
and hopped under
the bed --
94
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,771
- This is your case, Mackeroni.
95
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,690
And I want a
report on all this nonsense
96
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,526
by tonight at the latest, okay?
97
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,654
Is sex always like that?
98
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,247
Listen, we've been
waiting for a half hour.
99
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,791
Why is our daughter
being detained here?
100
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,420
- Sorry, we don't know exactly
what's going on ourselves yet.
101
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,796
- Oh my god.
102
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,965
Has anything
happened to our child?
103
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,925
- No, don't
worry, Phyllis is okay.
104
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,221
The whole thing is just...how should I put
it...a little delicate. I don'...
105
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,181
- Get to the point, man.
106
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,474
What happened to the girl?
107
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,018
- I don't mean to
upset you, but Mister....
108
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,061
- Look, Detective.
109
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,898
We didn't fly all the way from
Farmville, Oklahoma, to New York City
110
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,316
to listen to your lame excuses.
111
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,652
Tell us what happened
to our daughter,
112
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,988
or let me speak to
your superintendent.
113
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,158
At a sleazy hotel,
114
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:31,826
in one of the worst
areas of New York,
115
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,037
your daughter bit off her
college professor's penis.
116
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,499
Cigarette?
117
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,006
What did you say?
118
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,632
- Yeah.
119
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,718
It's a clear-cut case.
120
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,304
The door was locked from the inside. When
we broke the door down,
121
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,181
Phyllis was sitting on the bed, screaming.
122
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,600
An unconscious man
was lying on the floor
123
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,270
and under the bed, the
officers found his penis.
124
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,152
- There must
be some mistake.
125
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,404
That's impossible.
126
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,323
Detective!
127
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,492
It may comfort you to know
128
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,994
that such cases are
not unusual in our line of work.
129
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,704
Quite the opposite, actually.
130
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,999
Four penises bit the dust in that
hotel that night.
131
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,834
And on 42nd Street,
132
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:26,214
word on the street is someone put their
mother-in-law in the tumble dryer
133
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,090
and threw her out the
window.
134
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,968
Look, sir, this is New York.
135
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,224
The clocks tick a bit differently
here than in Farmville, Oklahoma.
136
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,560
You better
take Phyllis home with you,
137
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,687
or she�ll start doing stupid things.
138
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,482
You know how teenagers are.
Have to try everything.
139
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,558
I don't know what
people see in this town.
140
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,353
I mean, there are a lot of guys who get
this sparkle in their eyes
141
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,105
when they hear "New York."
142
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,567
New York, the city of cities, the
absolute metropolis of the world.
143
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:31,988
Then they tell you about some shitty
museums, galleries and restaurants.
144
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,407
I spent my childhood
on the lonely,
145
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,201
crumbling Mackeroni
estate in Sicily.
146
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,746
There was stillness, nature, and the
wind rustling through the cypresses.
147
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,084
I often remember those times when I'm in my
car, stuck in New York traffic,
148
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,421
among the crowds, exhaust
fumes, and traffic.
149
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,633
This city is one big, stinking sewer
where the perverts roam.
150
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,094
Even well-mannered daughters
from Farmville, Oklahoma,
151
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,555
bite off guys' cocks
after being here a while.
152
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,850
As a cop, you
lose sight of reality,
153
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,769
and then all that�s left is
the scum.
154
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,857
It may be that there are also pleasant and
beautiful things in this city.
155
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,193
However, my job is to
dig deep into the shit.
156
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:09,919
Hello, Luigi.
157
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,170
Hi, Robinson.
158
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,464
What room did that
shit happen in last night?
159
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,299
That was in Room 308.
160
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,218
What's up with the hookers
all of a sudden, Luigi?
161
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,053
They bite the cocks
off of the clients.
162
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,263
They earn their money
off those cocks, don�t they?
163
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,015
All right,
give me the key.
164
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,059
You won't find anything, Luigi.
165
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:28,604
Just blood, blood everywhere.
This mess is costing me a fortune.
166
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:33,234
There's a trail of blood running
from the bed to the bathroom,
167
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,195
and all the wallpaper
Is spattered.
168
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,239
You can't leave
it like that, right?
169
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,492
I've seen a lot
in this shithole,
170
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,494
believe me, but this is new.
171
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,287
What am I supposed to do now?
172
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,669
They've already
arrested quite a lot of girls.
173
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,299
You still have yours, right?
174
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,645
I'm thinking of sending him
back to the police office in a moment,
175
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,398
Who is that boy over there?
176
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,607
What boy?
177
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,821
Ah, right. Billy.
He's doing well here.
178
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,657
He�s new, but
has good clientele.
179
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,243
Have you actually found
the cock in the meantime?
180
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,120
I've searched everywhere.
181
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,831
Under the cupboards,
behind the toilet --
182
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,084
Cut the crap,
Robinson. Give me the key.
183
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,296
What do you
want in the room, Luigi?
184
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:36,630
I'm telling you, though --
185
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,301
Do you know that the little cock-biter
was still a minor?
186
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:47,808
Had she not bit so hard, I would have bet
she still had baby teeth.
187
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:01,739
- Luigi!
188
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:03,824
- Oh, Bob.
189
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,367
What are you doing here?
190
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,411
- I sing.
191
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,122
I'm not Bob anymore,
my name is Babette now.
192
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,750
This shithole might
not be Broadway,
193
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,001
but I know for a fact
194
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,170
that a famous movie producer
secretly comes here to fuck.
195
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,548
I'm sure he'll notice me,
then take me to Hollywood,
196
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,801
and I'll bathe in champagne
for the rest of my life.
197
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,719
- Okay, I'll keep my fingers
crossed for you.
198
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,137
- Lolly!
199
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,140
- Don't call
me Lolly, my name is Luigi.
200
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,477
Luigi. There are
no more Lollies.
201
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,229
- I'll always
call you Lolly.
202
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,316
On our night together,
it drove you crazy when I called you Lolly.
203
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,276
But I guess you don't
want to remember that.
204
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:40,736
- Exactly.
205
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,907
And neither should you, Bob.
Don't think about it anymore.
206
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,951
- I think
about it all the time.
207
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:48,410
Lolly, we need to talk.
208
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,331
- I don't know what there is
to talk about.
209
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,625
- I�'m in therapy now.
210
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:55,751
- Good.
211
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,378
I'm gonna continue
doing my job now.
212
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,548
- Is that all
you have to say?
213
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,385
Look at me, Lolly. Everything I am, I
am because of you.
214
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:08,806
My therapist told me you
need me, you love me.
215
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:11,559
That you're just too proud
to tell me how you feel.
216
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,644
He also says
that you feel guilty,
217
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,647
because I remind you of your mother, and
you're tormented by the thought
218
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,941
that you had great sex with your mother.
219
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:23,153
But look, Lolly. In reality,
I'm not your mother at all.
220
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:24,154
- Is that so?
221
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,365
- I�'m your friend, your girlfriend.
222
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,367
Well, if you want, I'll
be your mother, too.
223
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,495
Every fourth man in this world has
sexual fantasies about his mother,
224
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,623
that's nothing special.
It's Psychology 101.
225
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,417
- And what kind of therapist is that, huh?
226
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,503
- Remember, Lolly, our
time together was so amazing.
227
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,047
- Our time together? Damn it, Bob, what
are you talking about?
228
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,466
- You showed me
what sexuality can mean.
229
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,679
It was intoxication,
ecstasy, passion.
230
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,683
It was pleasure, pain and
happiness, it was the meaning of life.
231
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:58,480
It lasted three minutes and I was
so drunk that I fell asleep.
232
00:14:58,814 --> 00:14:59,940
It shouldn't have happened, Bob.
233
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,650
I'm no longer Bob.
234
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,779
My name is Babette,
now, and I love you.
235
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,907
- Bob, listen.
- Babette.
236
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,700
Okay, Babette.
237
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,037
Whatever happened that night,
238
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,748
I can't remember and I
didn't want it to happen.
239
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,084
You have to forget me and
find yourself again, you hear me?
240
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,756
You're not a transvestite.
241
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,216
I�'m a reflection of
your mother and you love me.
242
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,469
That's what my therapist
says and he's right.
243
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,724
I'm busy, Bob, take care.
244
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,103
Lolly.
245
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,438
Who is this?
246
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:43,776
- Leave me be.
- I want to know right away who that is.
247
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,111
- Do you have something with him?
- I feel sorry for you.
248
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,238
- Oh, yeah? Oh no, I'm sorry.
249
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:51,033
Basically, you're crazy about me, but
you're scared of your feelings
250
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,202
and scared of personalities
stronger than you.
251
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,788
Basically, you're
a little Sicilian fag.
252
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,333
- Never say that again. Don't
ever call me fag again,
253
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,711
or I will squeeze the artificial hormones
out of your laughable, fat body.
254
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:03,963
Understood?
255
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,590
- Hit me. Come on, hit me.
256
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,264
You love me.
257
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,516
I know it.
258
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,559
What type of crazy was that?
259
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,979
- My mother, didn't you hear?
260
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,731
- Say, are you a cop or something?
261
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,317
- Why?
262
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,569
Don't you fuck cops?
263
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,656
- Don't know, never had the chance.
264
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,867
So, are you a cop or not?
265
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,247
- I've got guts like a cop,
266
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,624
I fuck like a bull, so I
might as well be a cop.
267
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,502
You can picture me being
an insurance salesman,
268
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,753
if you find that more exciting.
269
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,505
Wow.
270
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:33,343
So, that�s --
271
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,721
Thirty-two centimeters exactly.
272
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:38,724
Hello there.
273
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,684
Can we start now?
274
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,811
Somehow, I think it's awesome.
275
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:43,771
- What?
276
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,065
- To shag a cop.
277
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,804
The rubber moved.
278
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,723
I could swear
that thing wobbled.
279
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,892
- Fuck that.
- Hold on.
280
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,521
I've got my own,
blacks look cooler.
281
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,147
Does it matter?
282
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,649
You can't tell the difference.
283
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,859
Yeah, but I don't
trust the hotel ones.
284
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,121
- What was that?
- Some kind of bug.
285
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,705
- Abug?
- Yeah, a bug.
286
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,082
That was the rubber.
287
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:45,916
- The rubber --
288
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,128
- It hissed at us and ran away. I saw it.
- Bullshit.
289
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:50,838
- You saw it, too, right?
- I didn't see anything.
290
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,422
- I'm not stupid, it was the condom.
291
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,299
- I don't see anything.
Bring me my lighter, quickly.
292
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,010
- Where�s your lighter?
- In my pants, right pocket.
293
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:57,970
Okay.
294
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:02,850
Here.
295
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:03,725
Thanks.
296
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:36,800
Hello, Luigi.
297
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,011
Hi, Sam.
298
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,808
So, what's wrong with you?
299
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,268
One nut.
300
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,231
This beast bit off
my right testicle.
301
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,817
You mean the little gay guy
who you were in the room with?
302
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:54,818
No.
303
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,029
It was a condom, Sam.
304
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,991
There's a cock-eating
condom up in that hotel room.
305
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:02,367
All right..
306
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,453
Well, at least
that's what it looks like.
307
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:08,248
You roll it onto your
banana and snap! It chews it off.
308
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:10,918
Okay.
309
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,923
Luigi, let me tell
you how I see it.
310
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,552
You got involved with some
drug-addicted trickster again,
311
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,680
and he was tripping during the
act and bit you hard.
312
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,934
Or it was some sadomasochistic
shit again, I don't know,
313
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,269
but that's how it must
have played out, right?
314
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,687
-No!
-No?
315
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:31,855
Robinson said
316
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,983
that the trickster fell out of the elevator
half-naked and ran into the street.
317
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,401
He just panicked.
318
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,528
Have you ever seen
a cock-eating condom?
319
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,031
That was a damn horror.
You would've panicked, too.
320
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:43,492
Okay.
321
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,952
Luigi?
322
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:48,956
Oh, sorry.
323
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,875
I just wanted to...
Detective Mackeroni,
324
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,543
smoking is not allowed here.
325
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:55,963
If you don't put out
the cigarette now,
326
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,257
I'm going to be very rude.
327
00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:02,511
And that is a pill
box, not an ashtray.
328
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,890
Please take the blue ones tonight
and the red ones tomorrow morning.
329
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,769
I see you've urinated,
that's a good sign.
330
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,063
Then the worst
will be over soon.
331
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,190
Thank you, Dr. Riffleson.
332
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,567
No problem,
that's what I'm here for.
333
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:23,615
No.
334
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,867
And certainly not without
a rubber, forget it.
335
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,121
You're so drunk, you won't
be able to get anything up anyway.
336
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,747
Oh, yeah?
337
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,165
I always get a hard-on.
338
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:37,713
You don't seriously think
that I'll touch your filthy cock?
339
00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,828
Thirteen dicks, Sam!
340
00:22:10,245 --> 00:22:14,374
While I was in the hospital, 13
guys lost their dicks at this hotel.
341
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,209
What do you think
happened there?
342
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:18,879
I can't figure
it out either, damn it.
343
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,548
We've turned the entire
hotel inside out, Mackeroni.
344
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,841
There is nothing to be found.
345
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,676
It's the condom, Sam.
346
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,928
I'm telling you, it's the goddamn condom,
and there's
347
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,639
hundreds of
condoms in this hotel.
348
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,518
Listen, I refuse to talk to you
any more about condoms that bite.
349
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:35,479
We need to
talk about this, Sam.
350
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:38,023
I saw that thing,
I saw it myself!
351
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,151
And because of that shitty condom,
I'm now missing my right ball.
352
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,153
And that was me being lucky.
353
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:44,488
Shit!
354
00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:52,913
There's no such thing as a killer condom.
- Not exactly.
355
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,040
Now watch this, Sam.
356
00:22:58,085 --> 00:22:59,127
What is this?
357
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:04,925
Check this out, Sam.
-Listen, Mackeroni, it's been a hard day.
358
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:08,136
Please spare me from
looking at your genitals.
359
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,221
Look here!
360
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,932
What do you think did this, a dust mite?
361
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:13,642
That little trickster...
362
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:17,187
Stop rambling about the trickster already!
It's the condom, Sam!
363
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:18,522
The condom.
364
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:24,611
lt's got 13 cocks on its conscience.
Thirteen cocks and one ball.
365
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:40,168
What do you
want me to do, huh?
366
00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:43,422
Do you want me to have the
boys frisk all the condoms?
367
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:45,507
That's going to be
a great headline.
368
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:49,302
"Police on the hunt
for a crazed contraceptive."
369
00:23:49,636 --> 00:23:50,720
You can relax now, Sam.
370
00:23:51,054 --> 00:23:52,264
Do what you do all the time.
371
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,014
Nothing.
372
00:23:53,890 --> 00:23:56,476
Then I'll deal with the
killer condom alone.
373
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:58,979
Not bad, either.
374
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,399
A cop against a rubber.
375
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:10,824
If a few weeks ago someone had told me that
one day, there would be condoms that bite,
376
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,742
I would have thought
they were crazy.
377
00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:15,495
Now, I have no trouble
with that thought.
378
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:19,749
In our time, concepts pop up every day that
were not known yesterday.
379
00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:25,213
Internet, cyberspace, mad cow
disease, risk groups, Kelly Family,
380
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:28,675
why shouldn't the term "killer
condoms" exist tomorrow?
381
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:33,054
I order these from
a major supplier in Queens.
382
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,766
Why? Something wrong with it?
383
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:41,229
These rubbers, Robinson,
aren't they individually wrapped?
384
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,690
No, that's
why they're so cheap.
385
00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:47,652
Do these incidents happen
in the same room?
386
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,654
Only in 308 at first.
387
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:52,491
But after the sixth
cock was bitten off,
388
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:56,870
I didn't give out the key anymore,
and -- boom -- it happened in 309.
389
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,665
The boy I was with
the other day, you know...
390
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,459
The one that bit off your --
391
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:05,170
- He didn't do that.
- No? But the cops still say --
392
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,505
Bullshit.
393
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,298
Did you see him again?
394
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,675
He never came back.
- Lolly!
395
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:12,761
Are you out of
the hospital?
396
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,555
As you can see.
397
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:18,725
I was so worried. Why didn't you want
me to come visit you?
398
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,685
- Bob, please.
- My name is Babette.
399
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:23,855
What did that nasty
little bastard do to you?
400
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:25,899
Is your cock all right?
401
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,442
It's off.
402
00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:29,694
Oh, God.
403
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,655
I'm sorry to hear that.
404
00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:34,783
Yeah, it's fine. Sex is not that important.
405
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,619
But Sam said
you only had one ball.
406
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:41,581
Well, the cock was bitten, too, and now
it's in a garbage can at the hospital.
407
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:43,124
That's awful.
408
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:47,587
I'm so sorry,
it's truly horrible.
409
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:48,880
You...
410
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:52,592
You're lying.
411
00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:54,511
What is that package
in your pants?
412
00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,555
The gauze bandage.
413
00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,224
You're making fun of me.
414
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,601
But you won't get rid
of me that easily, Lolly.
415
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:04,104
Take care, Bob.
416
00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:06,189
My name is Babette. Babette!
417
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:28,795
For a brief moment, I thought about
stopping by Billy's.
418
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,463
I couldn't get him out of my head.
419
00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:34,050
Then again, I'm not
sentimental or anything like that.
420
00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:37,679
I have no illusions
about love anymore.
421
00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:39,014
What'�s love, anyway?
422
00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:41,558
At the end of the
day, it's all about sex.
423
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,768
It's not about me,
424
00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:47,105
it's about this huge
thing between my legs.
425
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:51,109
Still, sometimes I long
for something different.
426
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,986
For a little warmth.
427
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:56,239
For someone who is simply
there when you come home.
428
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,283
Billy: Hi.
429
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:00,619
Hi.
430
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:03,538
Am I disturbing you?
431
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:04,664
What?
432
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:06,583
No.
433
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:09,961
I just...
434
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,339
I can leave if you want.
435
00:27:12,672 --> 00:27:13,840
No, it's okay, come in.
436
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,477
So why did you come here?
437
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:32,776
If we... I mean, if that
hadn't happened with the condom
438
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,987
and we had, you
know, some fun in bed --
439
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,155
Then what?
440
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:39,741
- Then I wouldn't have taken any money.
- Oh, yeah?
441
00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:41,826
I don't charge if I enjoy it.
442
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:44,788
But it's your job,
you live off that.
443
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:46,956
I would've put a few
bucks on the table for you.
444
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:52,295
If you want, I'd like to
meet you again sometime.
445
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:55,548
Well...
446
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,885
my balls need some rest
at the moment.
447
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,929
I'm not just talking
about sex, we could --
448
00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:02,639
We could what?
449
00:28:02,972 --> 00:28:07,018
Go dancing? Hold hands in love?
Exchange perfumed letters?
450
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:08,186
Well, I was thinking --
451
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,270
Listen, kid.
452
00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:12,107
I'm too old for this
kind of thing, you know?
453
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,859
The big love story doesn't
work for me anymore.
454
00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:16,820
Who's talking about a love story?
I only wanted --
455
00:28:17,153 --> 00:28:18,113
IIOnIy-II
456
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,740
You are one hot guy, Billy.
457
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:23,993
But I don't want to
break my back anymore.
458
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:26,830
When I'm better we'll have a hot round,
459
00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:28,915
or even two, and
that'll be it, okay?
460
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:32,335
Okay.
461
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:34,713
I'm out of here.
462
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,548
Yeah.
463
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:41,386
You're pretty
cool, aren't you?
464
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,055
I've been through too much shit.
465
00:28:45,348 --> 00:28:46,558
I�'m sorry.
466
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:48,810
Now, go away.
467
00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:26,181
- Well, how do you
like that, you filthy queen?
468
00:29:26,514 --> 00:29:28,266
It's fine, I've had better experiences.
469
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,478
- I'm tired of watching weirdos fuck.
470
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:34,147
What'�s the point?
471
00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:36,649
- Shut up, I need to focus.
472
00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:38,943
I want to hit you, how
much does that cost?
473
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,446
Barehanded? One dollar per hit.
474
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,616
With a whip, belt, or
the like, twice as much.
475
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:46,075
It gets cheaper
after the tenth hit.
476
00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:48,620
- Oh, man. That is Bob.
477
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,288
- His name is Babette.
478
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,165
Babette?
479
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:53,625
Do you see that?
480
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:55,293
This is Bob.
481
00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:58,129
That, that, that�s enough.
482
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,924
It�s enough to make you puke.
I don�t buy it.
483
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:03,468
He was with the
police until recently, and now?
484
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:06,137
Do you see this? Man, that's sick.
485
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,847
- The condom moved.
486
00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:12,268
- Is that all you're gonna say? This is Bob
and you see live condoms?
487
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:13,812
Damn it, Sam, get a grip.
488
00:30:14,145 --> 00:30:15,188
Okay, yes, this is Bob,
489
00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:18,107
but it doesn't matter. Put
that goddamn condom
490
00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:20,527
by the bed and I bet it's going
to show us its teeth.
491
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,948
[TV] You cheap slut. Well, how
do you like that?
492
00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:27,033
- You'd just have to untie me first.
493
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:28,910
In this position, I
can't put a condom on.
494
00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:32,914
- I�'m worthless. I'm a pile of shit.
I�'m a lousy little fag.
495
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,249
- All right, forget it.
496
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:37,210
I don't care if you run after
your killer condom here.
497
00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:40,004
I'm going back to the office
to handle this case my way.
498
00:30:44,717 --> 00:30:45,385
Hey.
499
00:30:45,718 --> 00:30:48,471
I got a new shipment of condoms.
500
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:50,306
Want to check them?
501
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:51,307
Shut up.
502
00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:57,605
Bye.
503
00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,441
[TV] I'm a nasty pig. I'm a
rotten little fag.
504
00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:03,236
Say I'm a rotten little fag.
505
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,280
- I'm a rotten little fag.
506
00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:06,406
- Why you?
507
00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:09,701
Me! I'm a rotten little fag! Say it!
508
00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:12,453
- Okay, you're a rotten little fag.
509
00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:15,498
- Finally, it's about time.
I'm a nasty pig.
510
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,041
I�'m a piece of shit.
511
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:19,919
I�'m a nasty little pig.
512
00:31:22,088 --> 00:31:23,631
- Take off the rubber.
- What?
513
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,301
- Take the rubber off your junk.
Come on! Quickly!
514
00:31:26,634 --> 00:31:28,177
- Don�t shoot!
- Shut up.
515
00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:36,227
Good.
516
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,104
Now, get rid of that thing. Come on!
517
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:53,077
Shit, must have been
a regular condom.
518
00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:55,872
Well, sorry. I'm sorry
for the disturbance.
519
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,916
You can carry on.
520
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,544
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't use it
anymore, there's a hole in it.
521
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,131
You're probably
not doing it right anymore.
522
00:32:05,465 --> 00:32:06,674
You must be totally insane.
523
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,259
Man, listen, I'm
doing my job here.
524
00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:10,094
I'm a pig, a lousy pig.
525
00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:11,137
Shut up.
526
00:32:43,002 --> 00:32:44,253
Where is it?
527
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,905
That's a cock.
528
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:14,617
- That's nasty. - Oh, God.
- I'm not cleaning that up.
529
00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:22,000
Congratulations, guys.
You did a great job here.
530
00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,668
I'm really impressed.
531
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:27,005
Maybe the press releases came from
Robinson, or some hooker.
532
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:28,631
I know where they came from.
533
00:33:28,965 --> 00:33:31,426
From an ex-cop named Bob Miller,
534
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:36,264
who works in this brothel of lunatics as a
bar slut, or a cum dumpster.
535
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:38,099
Sir, I saw that thing,
536
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,101
it's some bloody
animal or something.
537
00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:42,478
Ilt's best if we take
the whole hotel apart.
538
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:44,230
I think I misheard.
539
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:47,692
We've made fools of ourselves
enough over this.
540
00:33:48,317 --> 00:33:51,529
Dick McGouvern is coming
to the city tomorrow
541
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:53,781
and the last thing I
need is a police force
542
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:55,700
that no one takes
seriously anymore,
543
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:59,412
because they�re in some
dumps, looking for killer condoms.
544
00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:03,916
In that case, I'm asking you to
proceed on my own, Sir.
545
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:09,047
Oh, no, Mackeroni. Forget that. You
keep your hands off it.
546
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:10,506
- That's not possible, sir.
547
00:34:11,132 --> 00:34:12,008
- What?
548
00:34:12,341 --> 00:34:15,428
I come from a very old Sicilian family.
549
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:22,393
No one bites off a Mackeroni's testicle
unpunished. Nothing and no one.
550
00:34:22,727 --> 00:34:24,604
I'm warning you, Mackeroni.
551
00:34:24,937 --> 00:34:28,733
Chasing condoms at
this hotel one more time
552
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,985
will cost you your badge.
553
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:32,445
Is that clear?
554
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:38,326
I'll tell you one thing:
555
00:34:38,659 --> 00:34:40,203
if I don't get a promotion for this shit,
556
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:42,872
you won't need a killer
condom to get castrated.
557
00:34:52,298 --> 00:34:53,508
What's that?
558
00:34:58,471 --> 00:34:59,222
Hey.
559
00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:00,932
I'm talking to you.
560
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,645
Can you explain this to me?
561
00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:11,192
Yes, I'll have the boy searched for.
He chewed your balls, Luigi.
562
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:14,487
Who knows if he'll
do it again.
563
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:17,532
Tell me, are you
all deaf or something?
564
00:35:18,699 --> 00:35:23,371
Billy is all right and you
can release the hookers, too.
565
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:26,874
There's that damn condom
out there somewhere,
566
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,544
and if you don't
take action soon,
567
00:35:29,877 --> 00:35:31,879
we'll have more cocks on our hands.
568
00:35:38,427 --> 00:35:40,138
Okay, okay.
569
00:35:41,055 --> 00:35:41,848
Fine.
570
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:44,267
Understood.
571
00:35:47,436 --> 00:35:49,272
(indistinct muttering in Sicilian)
572
00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:57,947
Who knows? Maybe everyone was right,
maybe I do need a vacation.
573
00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:02,660
So what if that thing strikes again?
574
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,829
It isn't my problem.
575
00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:09,625
And Billy? What am I supposed
to do with a hooker?
576
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:13,296
A guy who'll take anyone's
ass for a few lousy bucks.
577
00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:21,053
What's going on here?
578
00:36:21,387 --> 00:36:22,805
- Oh. Hi, Detective.
579
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:23,681
- And?
580
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:26,475
- We're supposed to find the boy.
- He�s not here.
581
00:36:26,809 --> 00:36:29,312
- Seems he packed his clothes in a hurry.
582
00:36:29,645 --> 00:36:31,355
- Did Sam Hanks order this?
583
00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:32,899
Yes.
584
00:36:33,232 --> 00:36:35,985
Sir, he said we should
find that hooker
585
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:39,405
from the hotel who bit your --
586
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:42,366
The matter has been resolved, fuck off.
587
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,452
But we're not done yet, we --
588
00:36:44,785 --> 00:36:46,495
Get out, I'll investigate myself.
589
00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:22,949
Hello, Billy.
590
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:24,116
It's Jack.
591
00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:26,118
You know, from the newspaper ad.
592
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:28,537
I, well, loved being with you.
593
00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:31,540
Call me back. But don't call on weekends.
594
00:37:31,874 --> 00:37:33,960
You know my wife. Bye.
595
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:37,171
Hey, this is Robert.
Will we see each other again?
596
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:38,881
I'm in the mood
for your sweet ass.
597
00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:41,676
Greetings, Billy, this is Karl.
598
00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:42,885
Well, how are you?
599
00:37:43,302 --> 00:37:45,596
I wanted to ask you if we
could have a coffee together.
600
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:49,141
I've been thinking a lot
about my sexual fantasies.
601
00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:50,935
Maybe we can see
each other sometime.
602
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:54,146
I've bought an army
uniform now, give me a call.
603
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,106
Bye.
604
00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:00,403
I felt like an old jerk.
605
00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:03,364
What the hell do I want
from this little rent boy?
606
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,908
I should be focused on the case,
607
00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,452
not running around with
romantic ideas in my head.
608
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:12,790
Sure, New York can be pretty
damn cold this time of year,
609
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,709
but I'm Sicilian.
610
00:38:15,042 --> 00:38:17,336
I don't need sentimentality.
611
00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:20,923
And basically, I
don't even need sex.
612
00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:32,393
I watch some porn video,
613
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:35,354
jerk off, and then
take a cold shower.
614
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:36,772
That's enough for me.
615
00:38:46,782 --> 00:38:48,409
I don't need more.
616
00:38:55,875 --> 00:38:57,585
Get out of there, Mackeroni.
617
00:38:58,919 --> 00:38:59,378
Come on.
618
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:00,880
How?
619
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:07,928
Tell me, are you totally cracked up?
What do you want?
620
00:39:08,262 --> 00:39:10,598
- For you to get out of the tub
and sleep with me?
621
00:39:11,557 --> 00:39:13,809
- What are you, nuts?
622
00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:16,020
Put that goddamn knife away.
- No.
623
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,688
Are you trying to kill me, or what?
624
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:21,025
Put away the knife.
- Shut your mouth.
625
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:24,862
Okay, okay.
626
00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:26,364
Listen, Bob.
627
00:39:27,531 --> 00:39:28,616
Babette.
628
00:39:28,949 --> 00:39:31,327
I don't know what your
therapist told you, but --
629
00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:35,081
You're just talking shit. I know what I
want. I want you and you want me.
630
00:39:35,414 --> 00:39:37,500
You don't seriously think that --
631
00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:41,754
What was that?
- Don't change the topic.
632
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:44,298
You brought the goddamn condom with you.
633
00:39:44,632 --> 00:39:46,008
Of course I brought condoms.
634
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:47,760
Where did you get those things?
635
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,887
Well, from the hotel.
They were lying around there.
636
00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:51,597
Babette.
637
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,849
You brought the
damn killer condom with you.
638
00:39:58,270 --> 00:40:00,898
You need to be calm now. Very calm.
639
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:04,985
Forget our history and let's take care of
the condom first, okay?
640
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:10,074
I don't believe a word you say.
641
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:14,370
Yes?
642
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,418
Completely calm, Babette.
643
00:40:43,482 --> 00:40:46,235
Are you insane? That's a real
crocodile leather purse!
644
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:09,884
Shit.
645
00:41:10,217 --> 00:41:12,303
- What was that?
- The killer condom.
646
00:41:12,636 --> 00:41:14,680
- Oh, God, does it want your cock?
- Shut up.
647
00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:17,808
- And it was in my purse!
- Shut up, Babette, and help me.
648
00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:23,397
- Fuck. I was all psycho. Forgive me.
649
00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:26,525
I only wanted that --
650
00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,277
- Come here, Buffy.
651
00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:30,237
I thought I could --
652
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:19,328
Bob, are you still there?
- My name is Babette.
653
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:22,540
- Yeah. Bob, Babette. Listen, I need
you to help me now.
654
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:24,291
There's a hose behind you.
655
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:26,335
- What kind of hose?
656
00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,379
- A hose! Behind the stove.
657
00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:31,632
Attach it to the gas tap
and bring me the other end. Got it?
658
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:36,971
What? What
are you waiting for?
659
00:42:37,805 --> 00:42:40,307
I'm sorry.
660
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:43,143
- Forget it. Help me instead. Come on.
661
00:42:44,770 --> 00:42:46,438
- You know,
662
00:42:46,772 --> 00:42:49,400
I was thinking about you
all night, and then I was like --
663
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:52,486
- That's touching, Babette, but if
you don't hurry up now,
664
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,488
we're never going to finish this thing.
Understood?
665
00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:56,448
- Don't yell at me like that.
666
00:43:04,164 --> 00:43:04,999
Is everything clear?
667
00:43:05,332 --> 00:43:06,667
- Yes, everything is clear.
668
00:43:07,501 --> 00:43:09,795
- OK, good. Get into position.
669
00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:15,301
Done?
670
00:43:15,634 --> 00:43:16,760
- Done.
671
00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:23,976
Come.
672
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,646
Time for din-din.
673
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:35,654
If I were you, I would
have fears of castration.
674
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:39,491
If I were you, I'd have penis envy.
675
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:45,164
Come on.
676
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:46,999
Get him.
677
00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:49,585
Such a nice cock.
678
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,046
Hmm, yum, yum.
679
00:44:08,771 --> 00:44:09,647
Crank it up.
680
00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:12,691
Crank it up. Turn it up!
681
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:14,818
- Yes, yes, fine.
682
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:22,618
Okay, okay, that's enough.
Well, how do you like that, you beast?
683
00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:26,288
Bob, that's enough.
684
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:27,539
I can't stop it.
685
00:44:27,873 --> 00:44:30,250
Turn off the damn gas, Bob.
686
00:44:31,585 --> 00:44:33,295
God, what should I do?
- Bob!
687
00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:34,129
- Yes?
688
00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:36,131
-Turn off the gas tap.
689
00:44:36,465 --> 00:44:37,341
- It's not possible.
690
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,510
Maybe you should fix your gas line, the
thing is totally bent --
691
00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:41,679
- Bob, check this out.
692
00:44:42,012 --> 00:44:43,722
- I can't do more than this thing here.
693
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:48,560
Okay, Wilma, shoot.
694
00:44:48,894 --> 00:44:55,067
The thing consists of humanoid epithelia
lined with a peritrophic membrane.
695
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:58,153
It looks like regular
rubber condom material,
696
00:44:58,487 --> 00:45:02,616
but is actually a
complex organism
697
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:05,744
with a sub-dermal
chitinous lining.
698
00:45:09,498 --> 00:45:11,458
But it seems to have
everything it needs.
699
00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:14,128
Microscopically fine nerves,
700
00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:18,215
a reasonably evenly
distributed brain mass --
701
00:45:20,467 --> 00:45:21,677
That's disgusting.
702
00:45:22,010 --> 00:45:26,932
- So the teeth are as sharp as
razor blades, but apparently flexible.
703
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:29,893
- Okay. What's the meaning of all this?
704
00:45:30,227 --> 00:45:31,979
Is that some kind
of animal, or what?
705
00:45:32,312 --> 00:45:35,107
- Hard to say. It's not an animal in
that sense. I mean,
706
00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:38,235
it doesn't eat the dicks
and there�s no digestive tract.
707
00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:41,572
And the energy it needs to move
708
00:45:41,905 --> 00:45:43,574
comes from its own material.
709
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:45,492
It's artificial.
710
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:50,581
- Artificial? Are you saying
someone made this thing?
711
00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:51,874
- Yeah, probably.
712
00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:54,084
I'm thinking of some
kind of primitive life form,
713
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,462
like, for example, giant
worms, jellyfish, piranhas.
714
00:45:56,795 --> 00:46:00,716
Every few weeks, there are scientific
breakthroughs in genetic research.
715
00:46:01,049 --> 00:46:04,762
Just recently, a
very old professor
716
00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:06,513
received the Columbus
Research Prize for his discovery.
717
00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:10,017
That's all I can say about
it. Find a professional.
718
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:14,772
I prefer conventional cases,
like the one behind you.
719
00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:16,482
He simply suffocated
720
00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:19,818
because his 200 kilo
girlfriend sat on his face.
721
00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:22,196
We still don't know
722
00:46:22,529 --> 00:46:24,031
whether it was sex, or murder.
723
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:27,451
She says she doesn't know
anything, but unfortunately for her,
724
00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:29,828
he got some of her
pubic hair in his mouth.
725
00:46:30,162 --> 00:46:31,663
- All right, Wilma,
thanks for the help.
726
00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:36,293
- Take a look. All covered with pubic hair.
727
00:46:37,294 --> 00:46:39,588
This professor should
take a look at the condom.
728
00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,673
- Luigi?
- Yeah?
729
00:46:42,007 --> 00:46:43,509
- I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
730
00:46:43,842 --> 00:46:46,345
- It's okay, I probably
would have reacted the same.
731
00:46:46,678 --> 00:46:48,764
But I blame you for the boy, Sam.
732
00:46:49,097 --> 00:46:50,808
- What's wrong with you, Luigi?
He's a crook.
733
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:53,644
Burglary, shoplifting. We seized
drugs from his apartment.
734
00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:56,605
- That little bit of pot?
- Oh, did he please you so well
735
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:57,940
that you want to marry him?
736
00:46:58,273 --> 00:47:00,484
Man, Luigi, you could do a
sight better than
737
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:03,821
sticking your money up this guy's ass.
You're a real man.
738
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:06,949
Women adore you.
You should give it a try.
739
00:47:07,282 --> 00:47:08,450
- Quit bugging me, Sam!
740
00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:10,369
I don't give a fuck
about your women.
741
00:47:10,702 --> 00:47:12,412
I'd rather have a tight
man's ass than your boobs
742
00:47:12,746 --> 00:47:14,206
and piss flaps, and let's get this clear:
743
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:18,710
I want you to tolerate, accept, and
understand that once and for all.
744
00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:19,920
Understood?
745
00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:23,006
Okay, okay.
746
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:24,424
Really?
747
00:47:24,758 --> 00:47:26,885
I'll never hear that shit
out of your mouth again?
748
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:29,513
I'll never say anything about it again.
749
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,181
Cross my heart.
750
00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:33,267
Okay.
751
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:58,125
I've lived In this
town for 20 years, now,
752
00:47:58,458 --> 00:48:01,253
and sometimes I'm still not
sure if it's right for me.
753
00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:03,964
Sure, I had to leave Sicily back then.
754
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,760
If I'd stayed, I'd be the Mackeroni
family butcher, now, and I'd be
755
00:48:09,094 --> 00:48:13,473
making salami sausages
from donkeys all day,
756
00:48:13,807 --> 00:48:16,977
and my only pastime would be
shooting birds with a shotgun.
757
00:48:19,271 --> 00:48:20,480
And Mama...
758
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,567
She always wished for a Sicilian wedding.
759
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:26,069
Of course, the bride must be a virgin.
760
00:48:27,821 --> 00:48:28,906
Okay,
761
00:48:29,531 --> 00:48:31,533
so I made a career in New York.
762
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:34,453
I made it to the rank of
detective in the police force.
763
00:48:34,786 --> 00:48:37,414
Even so, Mama wouldn't
be very happy with my life
764
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,541
if she knew what
I was doing here.
765
00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:51,970
What about me? Am I happy?
766
00:51:12,152 --> 00:51:17,908
America needs to get back to its values.
767
00:51:19,117 --> 00:51:23,872
To the belief in God and His morals.
768
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:36,843
I want to take office
to heal our society.
769
00:51:37,886 --> 00:51:41,348
I want people to realize again
770
00:51:41,681 --> 00:51:45,852
what a wonderful
country God has given us,
771
00:51:46,353 --> 00:51:49,940
and that we must thank Him
772
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:55,487
by making this country strong again.
773
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:07,499
Everyone with sound hands
774
00:52:07,833 --> 00:52:09,709
is called upon to do their part
775
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:13,964
to restore America to the world
776
00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:17,050
that God willed her to be.
777
00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:20,929
The Promised Land of our time.
778
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:22,806
We've had enough.
779
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:24,891
Enough of scandals.
780
00:52:25,225 --> 00:52:27,227
About drugs, about perversions.
781
00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:33,441
The normal, righteous
majority of America
782
00:52:33,775 --> 00:52:36,236
needs to be put back
at the center of politics.
783
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:43,994
We stand for the politics
of order and peace.
784
00:52:44,578 --> 00:52:50,041
Join us for a pure America.
785
00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:11,771
- Have you lost your mind, or what?
- Buy your own make-up.
786
00:53:12,105 --> 00:53:13,440
I don't see why all the sluts
787
00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:15,192
help themselves to my dressing table.
788
00:53:15,525 --> 00:53:17,944
- Now, how do I look?
I have to go on stage soon.
789
00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,618
- Hello, Babette.
790
00:53:27,996 --> 00:53:33,084
I was just passing by and,
well, I thought I'd drop in
791
00:53:33,418 --> 00:53:36,963
and see how you're
doing after that nightmare.
792
00:53:38,548 --> 00:53:41,134
Man, we've both had
our experiences as cops.
793
00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:44,179
I mean, we've both
experienced a lot...but this?
794
00:53:44,512 --> 00:53:46,389
Wow, was that
really a horror movie!
795
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:50,560
I wanted to thank you.
796
00:53:50,894 --> 00:53:52,687
You were great.
- Is this for me?
797
00:53:53,021 --> 00:53:56,191
Yeah, that's --
- Tamara, honey, will you open it, please?
798
00:53:56,524 --> 00:53:58,068
My nails aren't dry yet.
799
00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:04,699
Do you know what
used to be here?
800
00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:08,161
- No.
- A church.
801
00:54:09,829 --> 00:54:13,583
- Is that supposed to mean something?
- I don't know, you're the cop.
802
00:54:15,168 --> 00:54:17,379
- It's a travel iron.
803
00:54:22,133 --> 00:54:23,009
Oh.
804
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:28,807
Yeah, I thought since
you've got so many new clothes,
805
00:54:29,140 --> 00:54:31,101
if you're ever on the road...
- Thanks.
806
00:54:31,434 --> 00:54:33,687
I hadn't expected such
a romantic present, thank you.
807
00:54:34,020 --> 00:54:35,981
- I can also exchange it
if you don't like it.
808
00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:40,986
- No, no. It's really nice.
809
00:54:41,569 --> 00:54:42,612
Really.
810
00:54:43,238 --> 00:54:47,033
Now my clothes won't crease
anymore, thank you very much.
811
00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:52,622
- Okay. I'll go leave then, huh?
812
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:56,418
Yes, I don't have any time, anyway. I have
to go on stage right away.
813
00:54:57,711 --> 00:54:58,753
- Take care, Bob.
814
00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:00,005
- Babette.
815
00:55:01,256 --> 00:55:03,049
- Yeah, sure, Babette.
816
00:55:21,776 --> 00:55:24,362
Hello, Luigi. Did you see that?
817
00:55:24,696 --> 00:55:26,072
The boy who bit off your ---
818
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:29,367
- Which room?
- 302. Should I page him?
819
00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,415
Hey, Billy.
820
00:55:36,458 --> 00:55:38,001
Still snooping on me?
821
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:41,713
I don't snoop. I just happened to be
here, so I wanted to talk to you.
822
00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:43,048
I�'m busy.
823
00:55:44,132 --> 00:55:45,759
Wait for me downstairs.
824
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:49,054
Okay. I'll wait downstairs at the bar.
825
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,012
Hey, what are you playing at?
826
00:56:49,531 --> 00:56:50,448
Hey!
827
00:56:53,535 --> 00:56:55,078
Damn place is full of crazies.
828
00:57:20,895 --> 00:57:22,272
It's down now.
829
00:57:23,064 --> 00:57:24,107
Now it's up again.
830
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:25,984
Up, down, up, down.
831
00:57:26,317 --> 00:57:29,070
I wish they'd make up their minds.
832
00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:50,508
They're blocking the elevator.
833
00:57:51,092 --> 00:57:52,510
I don't understand what they're
doing there, either.
834
00:57:52,844 --> 00:57:55,763
It won�t come down anymore, will it?
835
00:57:56,097 --> 00:57:57,765
I'm not taking the stairs.
836
00:58:44,103 --> 00:58:46,397
Yes, it's fine, it's fine.
837
00:58:52,820 --> 00:58:55,031
- What's going on now?
838
00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:56,157
Hey, Robinson.
839
00:58:56,491 --> 00:58:59,452
This whorehouse is falling apart, man!
- Shut up!
840
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:37,865
Bravo.
841
00:59:39,951 --> 00:59:41,661
Yeah, bravo.
842
00:59:44,956 --> 00:59:46,332
Bravo.
843
00:59:54,882 --> 00:59:56,175
That wasn't bad.
844
00:59:56,509 --> 00:59:59,887
- That was only half the power, you should
have seen me with two balls.
845
01:00:02,724 --> 01:00:06,269
Do you enjoy getting in bed with
every guy who likes literally every butt?
846
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:09,314
- I don't sleep with everyone.
- Yea? It looked very different earlier.
847
01:00:09,647 --> 01:00:13,109
OK, listen, I'm hungry.
We could eat something.
848
01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:15,653
I know a good Italian
restaurant. I�'m inviting you, okay?
849
01:00:15,987 --> 01:00:18,740
- You think I'm a complete ass, right?
- They make a good Tagliatelle Maddalena.
850
01:00:19,073 --> 01:00:20,658
Not as good as my mother.
851
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:23,036
She makes the cream
from fresh donkey milk,
852
01:00:23,369 --> 01:00:24,162
you can put your fork in it.
853
01:00:24,495 --> 01:00:28,249
- I do it with everyone? Do you think so?
- When mom makes Tagliatelle Maddalena,
854
01:00:28,583 --> 01:00:30,376
the grooms come to the
window just to smell it.
855
01:00:30,710 --> 01:00:34,297
-Stop talking about your mother. I don't do
it with everyone. I'm into you.
856
01:00:34,631 --> 01:00:38,843
- Yeah, don't give me that now. You're a
pretty boy, Billy, but what you do is shit.
857
01:00:39,177 --> 01:00:41,971
You just don't need to do that.
- Okay, so I do it with everyone.
858
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:45,683
Then why are you pursuing me?
- It won't happen again.
859
01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:50,271
Can I take you out to dinner now, or what?
- Who do you actually think you are?
860
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:52,440
Just 'cause you pay me, you
can keep your feelings out of it?
861
01:00:52,774 --> 01:00:54,776
You're making it a little
too easy for yourself, cop.
862
01:00:55,109 --> 01:00:58,696
That's not how it works. I'm leaving now,
I have an appointment.
863
01:01:05,286 --> 01:01:08,247
The little one is still new, he hasn't been
doing it that long.
864
01:01:08,581 --> 01:01:10,416
Hey, Mackeroni.
865
01:01:10,750 --> 01:01:12,043
I do it with everyone.
866
01:01:13,127 --> 01:01:13,795
Yeah.
867
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,147
Once my baby is President,
868
01:01:33,481 --> 01:01:35,942
will he have any time for me?
869
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:43,241
When your baby becomes President, he'll
take you with him for every state visit.
870
01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,869
What was that?
871
01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:39,464
How cute.
872
01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:43,134
Maybe it's one of those things
873
01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:45,553
we read about in the paper.
874
01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:24,050
News about the killer condoms.
875
01:03:25,384 --> 01:03:27,720
Killer condoms back in town.
876
01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:30,890
McGouvern caught it.
877
01:04:12,014 --> 01:04:13,349
Good morning, Luigi.
878
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,518
You look like you're
going to throw up.
879
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:18,104
- I also have a damn horrible
taste in my mouth.
880
01:04:18,437 --> 01:04:20,231
Here, take a sniff.
881
01:04:22,733 --> 01:04:25,528
Is there anything new?
- I'm working on it, give me 10 minutes.
882
01:04:26,487 --> 01:04:27,446
- Okay.
883
01:04:29,407 --> 01:04:31,117
Hi, Sally.
- Ah, Luigi.
884
01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:34,287
- What are you doing here?
- The Captain asked me to come over
885
01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:36,706
and have a chat with
our mutual friend over there.
886
01:04:37,039 --> 01:04:40,001
Isn't that right, Porky? You
love talking to me.
887
01:04:40,334 --> 01:04:41,627
I'm not saying anything.
888
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:46,215
I don't rat on my friends.
889
01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:03,107
Okay, okay.
890
01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:04,692
It was Frank Collins' idea,
891
01:05:05,026 --> 01:05:07,069
but he really wanted
to work with Rich Bitch.
892
01:05:07,403 --> 01:05:09,614
So Bruce Winnegan shot Frank Collins.
893
01:05:09,947 --> 01:05:12,158
Killer Angel's also in on the deal,
894
01:05:12,491 --> 01:05:14,243
but he's currently with
Larry King on 46th Street.
895
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:17,163
They put all that stuff in little plastic
bags and they bring it to --
896
01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:20,124
- There you go. That went
quicker than I thought.
897
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:24,086
I heard you're chasing condoms now.
- Yeah.
898
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:26,964
Sally, would you do me a favor
before you go?
899
01:05:27,298 --> 01:05:29,216
- You know I don't touch rubbers.
900
01:05:29,550 --> 01:05:33,596
- No, I know. There used to be a church
where Hotel Quickie is now.
901
01:05:33,971 --> 01:05:36,223
- Is that so0?
- I want to know how long the thing stood,
902
01:05:36,557 --> 01:05:38,309
who demolished it
and why, and so on.
903
01:05:38,643 --> 01:05:41,687
And get me a photo of the church, will you?
- Okay.
904
01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:43,814
- Well, his balls were always nice and big.
905
01:05:44,148 --> 01:05:46,901
But his cock wasn't
particularly big.
906
01:05:47,234 --> 01:05:50,321
I mean, he was
actually quite small,
907
01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:52,698
but he once confided in me
908
01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:55,201
that that's why he
wanted to be president.
909
01:05:55,534 --> 01:05:56,911
Isn't that weird?
910
01:06:00,915 --> 01:06:03,334
(indistinct dialect)
911
01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:06,462
Good idea. Ciao.
912
01:06:06,879 --> 01:06:08,255
What's going on here?
913
01:06:09,006 --> 01:06:10,800
You mean you don't know?
914
01:06:11,175 --> 01:06:12,969
What don't I know?
915
01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:17,682
Fear of castration is
spreading among the population of New York.
916
01:06:18,015 --> 01:06:20,810
In recent days, the police
have been flooded with claims
917
01:06:21,143 --> 01:06:25,064
of male victims who all
reported condoms that,
918
01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:27,024
at the crucial moment,
919
01:06:27,358 --> 01:06:30,611
reveal themselves to be a
gluttonous species of unknown origin.
920
01:06:30,945 --> 01:06:34,365
The alien creatures
initially look like condoms,
921
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:39,036
according to eyewitnesses, and they
can also be used like condoms at first.
922
01:06:39,370 --> 01:06:43,124
As it has only now come out, this is
what happened in the hotel room
923
01:06:43,457 --> 01:06:46,544
where the Republican
presidential candidate, McGouvern,
924
01:06:46,877 --> 01:06:49,588
due to circumstances that
have not yet been fully clarified,
925
01:06:49,922 --> 01:06:51,674
lost most of his genitals,
926
01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:53,759
which is no
surprise to the police.
927
01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:55,136
-They knew about it!?
928
01:06:55,469 --> 01:06:57,805
They knew about
this killer condom.
929
01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,598
- Well, not exactly.
930
01:06:59,932 --> 01:07:03,019
I mean, there's been a
few cases like this, but,
931
01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:06,230
Yeah, it was just queers and hookers.
932
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:08,816
I never thought that --
933
01:07:09,150 --> 01:07:14,071
I mean, the incident
won't affect the campaign.
934
01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:17,283
-The campaign? What campaign?! You
don't seriously believe
935
01:07:17,616 --> 01:07:20,202
the people will elect a man missing
his cock to be the President
936
01:07:20,536 --> 01:07:21,162
of the United States?!
937
01:07:21,495 --> 01:07:23,414
Surely, you don't
seriously believe that. Or...?
938
01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:30,087
- What have you
found out about the little monsters
939
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:32,465
that supposedly
look like condoms?
940
01:07:33,841 --> 01:07:38,846
- Well, they're made out of
some kind of rubber.
941
01:07:39,180 --> 01:07:48,022
But, of course, it isn't really rubber, and
they've got thin skin, and they're --
942
01:07:48,355 --> 01:07:49,982
Lubricated?
943
01:07:54,737 --> 01:07:57,114
And banana-flavored!
944
01:08:02,036 --> 01:08:06,957
- What are the police doing right now to
crack down on the killer condoms?
945
01:08:10,127 --> 01:08:11,796
Professor Boris Smirnoff.
946
01:08:12,129 --> 01:08:17,343
Born in Vaclavitiv, Russia, in 1923,
then emigrated to the USA in 1943,
947
01:08:17,676 --> 01:08:19,011
to study natural sciences.
948
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:22,723
In 1956, he received an honorary
doctorate for outstanding services
949
01:08:23,057 --> 01:08:24,433
in the field of biochemistry.
950
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:27,103
Three years later, he took over
the management of a plastics and rubber
951
01:08:27,436 --> 01:08:32,316
chemistry laboratory, and in 1962, received
the Science Academy Award for
952
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:36,320
the development of a special rubber
solution, mainly used for prostheses,
953
01:08:36,654 --> 01:08:39,532
but also for the production of condoms.
954
01:08:39,865 --> 01:08:42,827
For a few years, now, he has only
been involved with genetic research.
955
01:08:43,452 --> 01:08:48,707
His loved ones don't know where he is.
Others are waiting for scientific papers,
956
01:08:49,041 --> 01:08:52,002
he had appointments for
lectures at which he did not appear.
957
01:08:52,628 --> 01:08:55,047
- There's a couple of postcards
from the Bahamas.
958
01:08:55,381 --> 01:08:57,591
- Yes, but it just says
the weather is nice and
959
01:08:57,925 --> 01:08:59,969
that he's fine, but his daughter says
960
01:09:00,302 --> 01:09:01,929
he's always hated nice weather
961
01:09:02,263 --> 01:09:04,765
and he's never been
fine if he wasn�t working.
962
01:09:06,308 --> 01:09:07,810
There, take a look at this.
963
01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:10,146
- What about it?
964
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:12,189
- Look at that guy behind him.
965
01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:15,109
- Who is that?
- Exactly.
966
01:09:15,442 --> 01:09:17,987
No one knows, but he's
always behind Smirnoff.
967
01:09:18,821 --> 01:09:20,906
- A bodyguard?
- Negative.
968
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:24,451
The daughter saw him in Smirnoff's kitchen
and mistook him for the chef.
969
01:09:24,785 --> 01:09:27,371
The party-goers said
he was a staff member,
970
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:30,749
but no one really
knows this man.
971
01:09:34,295 --> 01:09:36,130
May I ask what's going on here?
972
01:09:36,463 --> 01:09:39,008
There's a professor who's
probably been kidnapped and --
973
01:09:39,341 --> 01:09:42,636
All right. And what�s all this here?
A law firm?
974
01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:46,891
They bit off the presidential
candidate's cock
975
01:09:47,224 --> 01:09:49,268
and you're here sipping
coffee and watching videos?
976
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:50,227
Sir.
977
01:09:50,561 --> 01:09:53,731
Besides McGouvern, there were
17 other cases tonight.
978
01:09:54,064 --> 01:09:56,942
A few in brothels, the
rest in the gay scene.
979
01:09:57,276 --> 01:10:00,196
That means the little
pecker-biters seem to be multiplying,
980
01:10:00,529 --> 01:10:04,408
so before they attack some good
family man on the Upper East Side,
981
01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:07,077
I want you to get
this under control.
982
01:10:07,453 --> 01:10:08,579
- We're on it right now.
983
01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:11,373
- Also, starting tonight, I want
one of you to go undercover
984
01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:13,959
on the gay scene and
see what's going on.
985
01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:15,920
Mackeroni, you handle that.
986
01:10:16,253 --> 01:10:17,796
- That's not a good idea, sir.
987
01:10:18,130 --> 01:10:20,216
- No? And why�s that?
988
01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:22,551
You know the scene all too well.
989
01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:24,762
- That's exactly the problem.
990
01:10:25,095 --> 01:10:27,223
They know I'm a cop.
991
01:10:27,556 --> 01:10:29,141
- Sam, you do it then.
992
01:10:31,393 --> 01:10:34,271
- What?
- You will dress like a homosexual
993
01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:38,317
and take a look around. Or are
you too well known in the scene?
994
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:40,319
- No, but sir --
- Well then.
995
01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:43,739
And I don't want to see any
more hookers, or drug addicts.
996
01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:47,117
Only reliable witnesses, is that clear?
997
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:51,038
Mackeroni, you dress him up.
998
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:54,583
- The boys will like you.
999
01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:56,377
- But I don�t want that to happen.
1000
01:10:56,710 --> 01:10:58,712
Man, this is ridiculous.
1001
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:02,216
Am I supposed to stomp into the gay stores,
take the elevator and ask the fags,
1002
01:11:02,549 --> 01:11:06,470
�Have you seen a condom that's been baring
its teeth lately?�
1003
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:09,932
- You'd better be careful when you're
having sex with someone
1004
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,768
and carefully inspect
the condom beforehand.
1005
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,479
- What?
- It'll be over sooner than you think.
1006
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:20,567
- But the -- I mean,
they�ll ask me if I want it, right?
1007
01:11:20,901 --> 01:11:24,071
- If one of them wants you,
Sam, you don't stand a chance.
1008
01:11:24,989 --> 01:11:28,200
- No chance? So, I don't have a chance
then? What's that supposed to mean?
1009
01:11:28,534 --> 01:11:31,620
- Gay men are real men who know
what they want, Sam.
1010
01:11:34,498 --> 01:11:41,255
Here, take the hanky. You let it hang out
of your pants on the back right pocket.
1011
01:11:43,424 --> 01:11:44,216
- What?
1012
01:11:45,050 --> 01:11:46,135
What good is that?
1013
01:11:46,635 --> 01:11:49,054
- It's a code that says,
1014
01:11:49,388 --> 01:11:53,017
�I don't feel like having sex
tonight so leave me alone.�
1015
01:11:54,351 --> 01:11:55,602
- And that works?
1016
01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:58,814
- It's the only thing that works, Sam.
1017
01:12:01,108 --> 01:12:02,151
- Hand it over.
1018
01:12:15,581 --> 01:12:16,874
I'll see you back at the station.
1019
01:12:17,833 --> 01:12:20,085
Luigi, don't you want to come with us?
1020
01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:22,087
Sam, you have to go through this alone.
1021
01:12:22,629 --> 01:12:24,631
And what if they don't let me in there?
1022
01:12:24,965 --> 01:12:27,676
They'll let you in, Sam, you look sexy.
1023
01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:41,482
- Detective, it's getting worse
night after night.
1024
01:12:41,815 --> 01:12:44,526
To be honest, I don't even know where
to put people anymore.
1025
01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:46,320
You can see for yourself
what's going on here.
1026
01:12:46,653 --> 01:12:48,364
- Mackeroni?
1027
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:53,243
[Women speaking foreign language]
1028
01:13:02,544 --> 01:13:03,921
- Detective, hear me out.
1029
01:13:04,254 --> 01:13:07,091
No, I want to say something as well.
1030
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:11,845
- I was tired. I found no common thread
in this story, no beginning.
1031
01:13:12,179 --> 01:13:17,559
Every morning when I wake up,
it feels like I had a bad nightmare,
1032
01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:22,398
but then I grab my ballsack for a moment
and reconcile myself to the absurd reality.
1033
01:13:26,151 --> 01:13:28,112
Now, listen to me for a moment.
1034
01:13:30,739 --> 01:13:35,411
I realized I was damn lucky that the condom
jumped on only my right nut.
1035
01:13:35,744 --> 01:13:38,497
I mean, in a city like New
York, what does a man do
1036
01:13:38,831 --> 01:13:41,750
when he's lonely at night and
he doesn't even have a cock?
1037
01:13:42,543 --> 01:13:43,627
Luigi?
1038
01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:49,716
Joe?
1039
01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,385
What are you doing here?
1040
01:13:51,718 --> 01:13:52,886
What happened?
1041
01:13:53,303 --> 01:13:55,013
Is that a joke?
1042
01:13:57,474 --> 01:13:59,726
I'll get the bastards.
1043
01:14:00,060 --> 01:14:03,647
Joe, whoever's behind this,
I'll take him down, I swear.
1044
01:14:03,981 --> 01:14:10,571
- I never knew what penis envy was, Luigi.
Now, I know penis envy sucks.
1045
01:14:10,904 --> 01:14:12,906
- I know.
- No, you don't know anything.
1046
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:13,907
You still have it.
1047
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:16,535
- Well, they took one of my nuts.
- Fuck your nuts.
1048
01:14:16,869 --> 01:14:19,705
What's the point of one nut, anyway?
I don't have anything anymore, Luigi.
1049
01:14:20,038 --> 01:14:21,957
And you, you still have it all.
1050
01:14:22,291 --> 01:14:25,752
Yours has always been thicker
than mine and now I have nothing.
1051
01:14:26,086 --> 01:14:28,881
That's not fair. And you?
1052
01:14:29,214 --> 01:14:33,093
You can still drive the youngsters
crazy with your big, fat cock.
1053
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:34,970
- So this is penis envy.
1054
01:14:35,304 --> 01:14:36,638
- Take good care of it.
1055
01:14:36,972 --> 01:14:40,851
Who knows how much
longer you'll have it.
1056
01:14:47,232 --> 01:14:48,984
I hate hospitals.
1057
01:14:51,820 --> 01:14:53,822
And I can't stand
hospital chapels, either.
1058
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:09,296
Sam is fine now,
protected, and can have his fun.
1059
01:15:45,499 --> 01:15:48,252
Olga, my dear!
1060
01:16:19,449 --> 01:16:21,868
This is the church that used to stand
1061
01:16:22,202 --> 01:16:23,662
where Hotel Quickie is now.
1062
01:16:23,996 --> 01:16:26,623
It was demolished
exactly 20 years ago.
1063
01:16:26,957 --> 01:16:29,167
Peaceful people
used to live in the area,
1064
01:16:29,501 --> 01:16:31,128
then brothels and
sex shops popped up.
1065
01:16:31,461 --> 01:16:34,298
There was a lot of protest from
citizens about the demolition,
1066
01:16:34,631 --> 01:16:37,217
but there was an
aspiring politician
1067
01:16:37,551 --> 01:16:39,386
who made sure that
this place of worship
1068
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:42,306
was secretly obliterated.
1069
01:16:43,724 --> 01:16:45,726
His name is McGouvern.
1070
01:16:48,645 --> 01:16:50,147
Nice job, Sally.
1071
01:16:51,189 --> 01:16:54,276
Listen, I could use
you on the job here.
1072
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,570
Not a chance. I have to go
back to the Bronx,
1073
01:16:56,903 --> 01:16:59,615
there's a violent crime
or two going on there, too.
1074
01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:03,327
Tell me, where is Bob, anyway?
1075
01:17:03,660 --> 01:17:05,954
You've always been
a great team, right?
1076
01:17:10,417 --> 01:17:14,755
...Bob took a few days' vacation.
1077
01:17:15,088 --> 01:17:18,425
That's fine. Okay, bye then. Bye, bye boys.
Ciao.
1078
01:17:20,594 --> 01:17:21,553
Ciao, Sally.
1079
01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:33,440
[Woman speaking foreign language]
1080
01:20:13,016 --> 01:20:13,642
Beer.
1081
01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:49,177
I�'m a nasty little pig.
1082
01:21:26,673 --> 01:21:29,593
Sometimes, the city seems
like a huge, cancerous tumor
1083
01:21:29,926 --> 01:21:33,096
that grows and grows, ever nearer to
its own destruction.
1084
01:21:33,972 --> 01:21:35,849
Maybe I'll always be a stranger here,
1085
01:21:36,308 --> 01:21:38,894
because I spent my
childhood in Sicily,
1086
01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:41,104
right by the sea,
1087
01:21:41,438 --> 01:21:45,483
with my loving mother, singing sad
songs by the fireplace.
1088
01:21:45,817 --> 01:21:46,776
- Mackeroni!
1089
01:21:47,360 --> 01:21:50,363
Mackeroni, where are
you, you Sicilian faggot?!
1090
01:21:52,699 --> 01:21:53,533
Luigi!
1091
01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:04,419
Yellow hanky in the
back right pocket, yeah?!
1092
01:22:04,753 --> 01:22:09,049
That perverted gorilla pissed on my leg
because he thought I was into it.
1093
01:22:09,382 --> 01:22:12,135
I'm married, I have a child.
1094
01:22:12,510 --> 01:22:16,556
I'm really not used
to this kind of shit! Stop laughing!
1095
01:22:17,349 --> 01:22:19,184
It's not fucking funny.
1096
01:22:19,517 --> 01:22:23,563
- Okay, okay. Calm down, Sam.
I'm sorry, okay?
1097
01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:28,944
It was a joke. How was I suppose to know
that would really happen?
1098
01:22:30,070 --> 01:22:35,325
- You're lucky I didn't give you a red one.
- Ared hanky? What does that mean?
1099
01:22:36,076 --> 01:22:37,202
- Fist fucking.
1100
01:22:38,244 --> 01:22:39,955
Come on, let's have a coffee.
1101
01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:43,541
- I don't need coffee. You can deal with
this case yourself.
1102
01:22:43,875 --> 01:22:47,295
This scene is too --
Shit, I'm getting out.
1103
01:22:47,629 --> 01:22:50,757
- Stop, you can't quit now.
1104
01:22:51,299 --> 01:22:53,426
And whatever you think of those
leather boys out there,
1105
01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:55,679
they just want to have fun.
1106
01:22:56,012 --> 01:22:59,891
Now they're being attacked by some killer
rubbers and we have to stop it!
1107
01:23:03,895 --> 01:23:05,522
Damn it, I need you.
1108
01:23:10,610 --> 01:23:11,695
- Okay.
1109
01:23:13,029 --> 01:23:15,073
Okay, but no more yellow hankies.
1110
01:23:16,199 --> 01:23:17,826
- No more yellow hankies, fine.
1111
01:23:18,159 --> 01:23:21,621
- And no red hankies, either. Nothing.
1112
01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:23,790
- Nothing like that anymore, okay.
1113
01:23:37,178 --> 01:23:39,055
What are you staring at so stupidly?
1114
01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:41,641
Never seen a
real male friendship?
1115
01:23:56,906 --> 01:24:00,326
No one pisses on my leg, no one.
1116
01:24:00,910 --> 01:24:02,037
I know.
1117
01:24:04,372 --> 01:24:05,123
Sorry.
1118
01:24:09,919 --> 01:24:13,214
[Women speaking foreign language]
1119
01:24:24,684 --> 01:24:27,729
- What's up with her?
- Is there anyone here who can translate?
1120
01:24:32,108 --> 01:24:33,818
- Something to do with a condom.
1121
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:36,237
Where?
1122
01:24:36,613 --> 01:24:37,238
Where?
1123
01:24:37,572 --> 01:24:38,364
Where?
1124
01:24:38,698 --> 01:24:40,158
Where, Condom Sefiora?
1125
01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:42,827
Listen to me. Where condom?
1126
01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:47,874
Hospital?
1127
01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:50,794
A condom in the hospital?
1128
01:24:52,295 --> 01:24:54,005
Sefiora, can you show me where that is?
1129
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:55,548
Come with me. Get up!
1130
01:24:57,801 --> 01:24:59,803
- I'll check it out.
- What do you want to see?
1131
01:25:00,136 --> 01:25:01,721
I have this weird feeling.
1132
01:25:06,392 --> 01:25:09,479
Isn't there an interpreter who can
translate here for a moment?
1133
01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:12,232
[Foreign Chatter]
1134
01:25:12,565 --> 01:25:13,650
What is she saying?
1135
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:17,570
Condom?
1136
01:25:43,763 --> 01:25:44,639
Futschka.
1137
01:26:02,448 --> 01:26:03,908
Detective Mackeroni.
1138
01:26:06,494 --> 01:26:10,039
Even a dedicated policeman has
to sleep at night from time to time,
1139
01:26:10,373 --> 01:26:12,500
otherwise their health suffers.
1140
01:26:33,146 --> 01:26:33,771
Hi.
1141
01:26:35,648 --> 01:26:36,566
Hi.
1142
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:37,817
Is the cop here?
1143
01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:41,321
Who?
1144
01:26:41,654 --> 01:26:42,697
You know who.
1145
01:26:43,031 --> 01:26:45,825
Detective Mackeroni just left
1146
01:26:46,159 --> 01:26:47,827
and I'm guessing he
won't be back anytime soon.
1147
01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:49,621
And where did he go?
1148
01:26:55,752 --> 01:26:59,172
Listen, boy. Your cop is
in enough trouble as is, okay.
1149
01:26:59,505 --> 01:27:02,258
Even without you
obsessing over him.
1150
01:27:03,176 --> 01:27:04,010
Uh-huh.
1151
01:27:05,970 --> 01:27:08,765
You're not the first petty criminal in
Luigi's life.
1152
01:27:09,098 --> 01:27:10,600
You guys all took advantage of him,
1153
01:27:10,934 --> 01:27:15,438
got on his nerves, and basically,
they all looked just like you.
1154
01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:24,405
What about that man?
1155
01:27:26,157 --> 01:27:27,367
What about him?
1156
01:27:27,700 --> 01:27:29,953
Can't anyone here
understand this?
1157
01:27:30,286 --> 01:27:33,456
She says she saw the Asian man in
the hospital's chapel.
1158
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,459
He's a devil and he had one
of those condoms with him.
1159
01:27:36,834 --> 01:27:37,627
Go.
1160
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,338
Come on, come with me.
O'Brian, off to the hospital.
1161
01:27:41,547 --> 01:27:45,343
Come along and it'll be quick.
1162
01:27:46,427 --> 01:27:48,888
Elly, bring us two coffees, please.
1163
01:27:49,222 --> 01:27:50,723
Please, take a seat.
1164
01:27:51,724 --> 01:27:54,560
Sorry to bother you at this hour,
1165
01:27:54,894 --> 01:28:01,067
but that woman who had her
nose bitten off by that condom --
1166
01:28:02,151 --> 01:28:03,278
What about her?
1167
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:06,447
She came to me
at the precinct last night.
1168
01:28:06,781 --> 01:28:09,158
Yes, she was very excited.
1169
01:28:09,492 --> 01:28:11,035
I thought I'd check it out and--
1170
01:28:11,369 --> 01:28:12,996
What did she tell you?
1171
01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:15,373
I'm not sure.
1172
01:28:16,082 --> 01:28:17,792
I believe she saw
one of those condoms.
1173
01:28:18,126 --> 01:28:19,127
What?
1174
01:28:20,003 --> 01:28:20,795
Here?
1175
01:28:21,170 --> 01:28:23,715
In the chapel, as
far as I could understand.
1176
01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:29,304
Detective, this woman
wakes up every night screaming
1177
01:28:29,637 --> 01:28:32,140
and fantasizing about
condoms jumping in her face.
1178
01:28:32,473 --> 01:28:36,102
She desperately needs her meds and
sedatives. Where is she, anyway?
1179
01:28:40,815 --> 01:28:44,736
Does an Asian man work in this
hospital, maybe a Chinese person?
1180
01:28:46,279 --> 01:28:48,281
No, not that I know of. Why?
1181
01:28:50,408 --> 01:28:51,784
No specific reason.
1182
01:28:52,493 --> 01:28:55,371
The other day, for a moment, I thought I
had seen a Chinese man.
1183
01:28:57,290 --> 01:29:00,376
There are over a billion Chinese
people living on this planet, Detective.
1184
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:04,088
It�s very possible you may
have seen one of them.
1185
01:29:08,009 --> 01:29:12,221
To the chapel, she says
you should go to the chapel.
1186
01:29:12,555 --> 01:29:14,182
Why does he always
understand everything?
1187
01:29:24,567 --> 01:29:26,944
Are you married, Detective?
1188
01:29:27,570 --> 01:29:29,155
Me? No.
1189
01:29:36,412 --> 01:29:39,082
Maybe you should consider getting a wife.
1190
01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:42,794
Especially for a man like
you, it is very important
1191
01:29:43,127 --> 01:29:47,465
that someone takes care of you in the
evening when you come home alone.
1192
01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:50,843
I'd rather be alone.
1193
01:29:52,678 --> 01:29:56,391
For this reason, the Lord
created two genders among human beings,
1194
01:29:56,724 --> 01:30:00,895
so that they can find one another
and then share their lives.
1195
01:30:01,521 --> 01:30:03,064
Yes, that might be true.
1196
01:30:03,981 --> 01:30:09,028
I have to go now, Dr. Riffleson.
1197
01:30:09,362 --> 01:30:10,905
You're very lonely, aren't you?
1198
01:30:12,573 --> 01:30:14,075
Goodnight, Dr. Riffleson.
1199
01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:16,077
I'll walk you to the exit.
1200
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:18,162
I have to go in that direction, anyway.
1201
01:30:18,538 --> 01:30:21,124
[Speaking Foreign Language]
1202
01:30:21,874 --> 01:30:22,959
What is it?
1203
01:30:31,717 --> 01:30:32,885
What is she saying?
1204
01:30:33,219 --> 01:30:34,762
No clue.
1205
01:30:39,642 --> 01:30:42,103
That's it, this woman needs a priest,
or a psychologist,
1206
01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:44,230
and so will I if this continues.
1207
01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:46,441
Let's find Luigi and then
head back to the station.
1208
01:31:00,746 --> 01:31:02,790
I'm sending the
woman back to you,
1209
01:31:04,750 --> 01:31:06,752
but don't let her
run away again.
1210
01:31:07,086 --> 01:31:09,464
Don't worry, it won't happen again.
1211
01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:38,409
- What was that?
- What?
1212
01:31:38,743 --> 01:31:39,869
- Somebody fired a gun.
1213
01:31:40,203 --> 01:31:42,622
- Gunshots? Here? I didn't hear anything.
1214
01:31:53,466 --> 01:31:54,926
Who is that screaming?
1215
01:31:55,259 --> 01:31:58,095
That's probably the hysteric
from the first floor.
1216
01:31:58,429 --> 01:32:01,641
Every time the pain
becomes too great...Detective!
1217
01:33:48,998 --> 01:33:50,625
Professor Smirnoff?
1218
01:33:51,834 --> 01:33:53,169
Professor Smirnoff?
1219
01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:57,506
- There you are at last.
1220
01:33:58,507 --> 01:34:01,469
Did you bring
me red fruit jelly?
1221
01:34:01,802 --> 01:34:03,220
- Red what?
1222
01:34:03,554 --> 01:34:04,680
- Red fruit jelly.
1223
01:34:05,056 --> 01:34:07,600
Don't pretend that you don't
know what I'm talking about.
1224
01:34:08,643 --> 01:34:12,772
You're from the
police, aren't you?
1225
01:34:13,147 --> 01:34:16,108
They're not allowed to harm her.
1226
01:34:16,442 --> 01:34:20,404
I need my red jelly, I
can't live without red jelly.
1227
01:34:20,738 --> 01:34:22,948
- Who am I not
allowed to harm, Professor?
1228
01:34:23,282 --> 01:34:26,327
- Do you know what I'm doing here?
1229
01:34:27,787 --> 01:34:28,996
- I'm all ears.
1230
01:34:29,705 --> 01:34:32,166
- I'm Professor Smirnoff.
1231
01:34:32,500 --> 01:34:33,501
- I know.
1232
01:34:33,834 --> 01:34:36,087
Tell me, Professor,
who's holding you --
1233
01:34:36,420 --> 01:34:40,383
- I created all of this.
1234
01:34:40,716 --> 01:34:47,139
Just look at this graceful rubber
animal. Have a good trip, Maurice.
1235
01:34:49,475 --> 01:34:53,104
Would you like to know
how I created all this?
1236
01:34:53,437 --> 01:34:54,397
- Yes, Professor.
1237
01:34:54,730 --> 01:34:57,733
- A hybrid of larvae of the genera
1238
01:34:58,067 --> 01:35:04,865
Sammekinus, Miliaris, Citalia Simplex, and
an extremely halophilic Ikosaeder virus.
1239
01:35:05,199 --> 01:35:09,495
When their pronuclei fuse,
the strongly acidic
1240
01:35:09,829 --> 01:35:17,378
phospho-ribosilic, forminino--amido--
imidazol carboxamide...
1241
01:35:31,350 --> 01:35:36,689
...to produce
artificially-moving creatures
1242
01:35:37,022 --> 01:35:41,444
that are able to move
independently and purposefully,
1243
01:35:41,777 --> 01:35:43,863
no different than how we eat food.
1244
01:35:44,196 --> 01:35:46,031
For example, the red fruit jelly.
1245
01:35:46,365 --> 01:35:51,078
- And biting off innocent men's genitals?
What is this, professor? What for?
1246
01:35:51,829 --> 01:35:54,415
- I still receive my red jelly for it.
1247
01:35:55,082 --> 01:35:55,958
- From whom?
1248
01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:58,627
Who gives you the
red jelly, Professor?
1249
01:35:59,587 --> 01:36:02,548
- I�'m the one that
gives the professor red jelly.
1250
01:36:02,882 --> 01:36:04,717
Any other questions, Detective?
1251
01:36:05,050 --> 01:36:09,096
- Doctor Riffleson.
- Precisely. Now, hand me your gun.
1252
01:36:10,014 --> 01:36:11,682
I said, give me your gun,
1253
01:36:12,016 --> 01:36:14,643
or he'll blow your sick little
brain right out of your skull.
1254
01:36:16,145 --> 01:36:17,605
Search him.
1255
01:36:27,615 --> 01:36:31,702
- The game is over. The police
are here to rescue me.
1256
01:36:32,036 --> 01:36:34,246
- Shut up and keep working.
1257
01:36:34,580 --> 01:36:36,499
- No, I won't carry on.
1258
01:36:36,832 --> 01:36:40,503
The police will rescue me and then I,
Professor Smirnoff --
1259
01:36:40,836 --> 01:36:44,215
-Get to work, or there won't be
any red fruit jelly.
1260
01:37:01,232 --> 01:37:04,652
Come on, Detective. Get going.
And don't make a wrong move.
1261
01:37:04,985 --> 01:37:06,195
Go, go, go.
1262
01:37:09,573 --> 01:37:12,993
I'm very glad you're
visiting us here, Detective.
1263
01:37:14,328 --> 01:37:16,622
May I ask what
this is actually about?
1264
01:37:16,956 --> 01:37:19,375
I'm preparing New York for his arrival.
1265
01:37:20,209 --> 01:37:21,877
For whose arrival?
1266
01:37:22,211 --> 01:37:24,505
The arrival and return of the Lord!
1267
01:37:26,382 --> 01:37:27,633
I don't understand.
1268
01:37:27,967 --> 01:37:31,595
No, and why should you? The Lord does not
speak to the fallen.
1269
01:37:31,929 --> 01:37:35,391
On December 31st, 1999, here
in New York, the Lord,
1270
01:37:35,724 --> 01:37:39,770
accompanied by His earthly counterpart,
will land punctually on an 11:30 a.m.
1271
01:37:40,104 --> 01:37:41,397
flight from Rome.
1272
01:37:41,730 --> 01:37:48,237
He is coming to pass judgement on the
greatest, most sinful Babel in the world.
1273
01:37:48,571 --> 01:37:50,698
This city is like
Sodom and Gomorrah.
1274
01:37:51,031 --> 01:37:54,785
And I have the biblical
mission and divine honor
1275
01:37:55,119 --> 01:37:59,665
to lead the way by judging and
punishing in advance
1276
01:37:59,999 --> 01:38:02,877
the most wicked
of the deadly sinners.
1277
01:38:04,295 --> 01:38:05,004
Well, I --
1278
01:38:05,337 --> 01:38:06,922
Don�t deny facts, Detective.
1279
01:38:07,256 --> 01:38:09,967
I know everything about you
and your unnatural activities.
1280
01:38:10,301 --> 01:38:14,722
The Bible says, "A man
shall not lie with another man,"
1281
01:38:15,055 --> 01:38:16,307
you know that, right?
1282
01:38:16,640 --> 01:38:18,726
And the Bible also says,
"Be fruitful and multiply,"
1283
01:38:19,059 --> 01:38:21,353
and not give in to lust
and devilish desires.
1284
01:38:21,687 --> 01:38:24,648
But I don't find a word in the
Scriptures about condoms,
1285
01:38:24,982 --> 01:38:26,609
not a word about
contraception. Nothing.
1286
01:38:26,942 --> 01:38:30,863
Nothing about futile
ejaculations and those disgusting orgies
1287
01:38:31,196 --> 01:38:34,199
of you and your
perverted friends.
1288
01:38:39,622 --> 01:38:42,875
Come on, Detective,
go and have a look.
1289
01:39:00,601 --> 01:39:03,854
A pretty little company,
isn't it, Detective?
1290
01:39:04,313 --> 01:39:08,609
Brothel owners and
pimps, men in drag,
1291
01:39:08,943 --> 01:39:11,070
cops chasing the good ones
and letting evil people go,
1292
01:39:11,403 --> 01:39:14,031
tourists poking their
noses into things
1293
01:39:14,365 --> 01:39:17,534
that are none of their
business. But I'll defeat evil.
1294
01:39:18,285 --> 01:39:19,495
I will not rest
1295
01:39:19,828 --> 01:39:23,749
until the last wicked man is
handed over on Judgement Day.
1296
01:39:24,083 --> 01:39:25,626
So, that�s it.
1297
01:39:25,960 --> 01:39:29,088
A neurotic, man-hating
religious fanatic
1298
01:39:29,421 --> 01:39:31,882
has transformed a brilliant
scientist into an instrument
1299
01:39:32,216 --> 01:39:34,301
of her deranged worldview.
1300
01:39:35,427 --> 01:39:39,139
Professor Smirnoff's new method for
binding silicon latex with
1301
01:39:39,473 --> 01:39:44,186
centripetal lecithin
filaments is a sign from God
1302
01:39:44,520 --> 01:39:48,273
that we must put an end to all
these perverse sinners!
1303
01:39:50,234 --> 01:39:51,068
Uh-huh.
1304
01:39:54,863 --> 01:39:56,490
Come with me, Detective.
1305
01:39:57,074 --> 01:39:59,034
Come, come, come!
1306
01:40:01,245 --> 01:40:03,163
You�re so fond of bragging,
1307
01:40:03,497 --> 01:40:06,834
you love to boast about needing
extra large condoms.
1308
01:40:21,390 --> 01:40:25,978
Detective Mackeroni,
this model's especially for you.
1309
01:40:26,311 --> 01:40:28,272
Nice of you to think of me.
1310
01:40:28,605 --> 01:40:35,362
I've waited for this moment for weeks. Now,
pull out your sinful Babel penis.
1311
01:40:36,321 --> 01:40:38,157
You're insane.
1312
01:40:40,034 --> 01:40:41,577
What are you waiting for?
1313
01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:44,705
Pull it out.
1314
01:41:35,631 --> 01:41:36,673
Come on, Detective.
1315
01:41:37,007 --> 01:41:38,175
Let's get to feeding.
1316
01:41:38,509 --> 01:41:39,426
Listen, Dr. Riffleson.
1317
01:41:39,760 --> 01:41:42,429
I'm not sure the Savior would
approve of these methods.
1318
01:41:43,097 --> 01:41:46,141
I mean, after all, He�s
the one who gave me this nice, big penis.
1319
01:41:46,475 --> 01:41:47,684
To be fruitful with it!
1320
01:41:48,018 --> 01:41:50,562
So you can marry a woman
and start a family with her.
1321
01:41:50,896 --> 01:41:55,234
And what do you do with it? You stick it
into intestinal tracts of young men.
1322
01:41:55,567 --> 01:42:00,656
No, Detective, that wasn�t what the Lord
wanted when He gave you that penis.
1323
01:42:02,783 --> 01:42:05,577
And now, you can finally
get it out of your pants.
1324
01:42:17,297 --> 01:42:18,132
Cop?
1325
01:42:46,493 --> 01:42:47,411
Billy!
1326
01:42:48,162 --> 01:42:48,912
Cop!
1327
01:42:56,753 --> 01:42:57,921
Yes!
1328
01:43:09,266 --> 01:43:10,601
I'm free!
1329
01:43:11,393 --> 01:43:13,937
Professor Smirnoff is free!
1330
01:43:19,151 --> 01:43:19,735
Cop!
1331
01:43:20,694 --> 01:43:21,570
Billy!
1332
01:43:27,409 --> 01:43:28,118
Yes!
1333
01:43:54,978 --> 01:43:57,981
What do you want, Professor?
1334
01:43:58,982 --> 01:44:02,653
Everyone dies unless I get red jelly.
1335
01:44:02,986 --> 01:44:04,446
Not now, Professor.
1336
01:44:04,780 --> 01:44:07,741
I can't go on without red jelly!
1337
01:44:10,911 --> 01:44:13,288
You stupid old man!
1338
01:44:22,422 --> 01:44:23,465
Luigi!
1339
01:45:11,972 --> 01:45:13,890
I guess you saved my cock, huh?
1340
01:45:14,516 --> 01:45:15,934
I love you, Cop.
1341
01:45:17,894 --> 01:45:18,854
Here.
1342
01:45:21,481 --> 01:45:22,733
Bandage your hand.
1343
01:45:23,066 --> 01:45:24,568
Excuse me, lovebirds.
1344
01:45:24,901 --> 01:45:26,611
I want to get down
from here, Luigi.
1345
01:45:26,945 --> 01:45:28,864
Mackeroni, get us down from here.
1346
01:45:29,197 --> 01:45:33,035
Hurry up.
1347
01:45:47,424 --> 01:45:48,216
Luigi, watch out.
1348
01:45:49,968 --> 01:45:50,969
Mackeroni!
1349
01:45:51,928 --> 01:45:54,181
Do you have a moment to spare for me?
1350
01:45:55,390 --> 01:45:57,392
The game is up, Riffleson.
1351
01:45:57,768 --> 01:46:00,062
How wrong you are! God is on my side!
1352
01:46:00,395 --> 01:46:02,064
Come, come, come!
1353
01:46:04,191 --> 01:46:07,652
What do you hope to achieve?
Let the boy go.
1354
01:46:07,986 --> 01:46:10,197
The Lord's will must be obeyed!
1355
01:46:10,530 --> 01:46:14,576
And the lord wants you to
jump into the condoms!
1356
01:46:16,620 --> 01:46:17,954
Hello, is anyone there?
1357
01:46:19,164 --> 01:46:20,165
Hello?
1358
01:46:21,291 --> 01:46:22,334
Jump!
1359
01:46:22,667 --> 01:46:24,503
Jump!
1360
01:46:24,836 --> 01:46:25,504
Hello?
1361
01:46:25,879 --> 01:46:27,130
Doctor Riffleson?
1362
01:46:31,968 --> 01:46:32,636
No.
1363
01:46:33,845 --> 01:46:35,222
I won't jump.
1364
01:46:36,807 --> 01:46:38,266
Look around, doctor.
1365
01:46:39,267 --> 01:46:40,852
This is your work.
1366
01:46:41,770 --> 01:46:43,980
Do you really think
God will forgive you?
1367
01:46:44,314 --> 01:46:46,483
It is Hell you've created here,
1368
01:46:46,817 --> 01:46:49,694
full of creatures that
could never be the work of the Lord.
1369
01:46:50,070 --> 01:46:53,490
You speak of sin and depravity,
and you might be right.
1370
01:46:54,032 --> 01:46:57,160
But look at the boy you're
pointing the gun at.
1371
01:46:57,494 --> 01:47:00,664
He's young and he
deserves the right to live.
1372
01:47:01,998 --> 01:47:07,504
There aren't any condoms in Heaven, Dr.
Riffleson, especially not ones that bite.
1373
01:47:07,879 --> 01:47:11,425
You speak of a God who will
judge all of mankind.
1374
01:47:11,758 --> 01:47:14,219
I say that God will protect all lovers.
1375
01:47:14,553 --> 01:47:17,806
He doesn't care if it's two
men, or a man and a woman.
1376
01:47:18,140 --> 01:47:22,018
He doesn't care if a man wears
women's clothing and sings in a bar.
1377
01:47:22,352 --> 01:47:26,648
lt's possible that these
people haven't always
1378
01:47:26,982 --> 01:47:30,569
done the right thing, but we're
all human beings.
1379
01:47:30,902 --> 01:47:33,780
Everyone is responsible
for their own life path.
1380
01:47:34,114 --> 01:47:37,200
If God ever does pass judgement over us,
1381
01:47:37,534 --> 01:47:40,871
He won't need anyone to do it for Him.
1382
01:47:41,204 --> 01:47:44,916
Each and every one of us here,
whether gay or straight,
1383
01:47:45,250 --> 01:47:50,213
whether a transvestite, or an
atheist professor, brothel owner or
1384
01:47:50,547 --> 01:47:53,592
police officer, Serb,
Croat, or Chinese --
1385
01:47:53,925 --> 01:47:56,344
I don't know where
these words came from.
1386
01:47:56,678 --> 01:48:00,891
I delivered a sermon, confident that my
words were having an effect.
1387
01:48:01,641 --> 01:48:04,853
He that is without sin among
you, cast the first stone.
1388
01:48:05,187 --> 01:48:07,898
The only thing that irritated
me was the strange light
1389
01:48:08,231 --> 01:48:11,526
surrounding me and
the angelic chants.
1390
01:48:11,860 --> 01:48:13,445
You don't really
know what love is.
1391
01:48:16,198 --> 01:48:19,743
Ilt's so dirty.
1392
01:48:24,289 --> 01:48:27,709
You're all so dirty.
1393
01:48:31,546 --> 01:48:33,131
It's over, Doctor.
1394
01:48:34,132 --> 01:48:35,800
You are alone.
1395
01:49:34,985 --> 01:49:37,946
There they are, over there. Come on,
get on with it.
1396
01:49:40,782 --> 01:49:42,951
Over to the right.
1397
01:49:43,285 --> 01:49:46,079
Let me through here.
1398
01:49:50,333 --> 01:49:52,335
Did you get it?
1399
01:49:52,669 --> 01:49:53,461
Hold it right.
1400
01:50:00,969 --> 01:50:01,970
You know, Luigi,
1401
01:50:04,514 --> 01:50:08,310
I'm fed up with playing your mother. The
job is too tiring for me.
1402
01:50:10,020 --> 01:50:11,730
You kept your cool, Babette.
1403
01:50:12,063 --> 01:50:14,232
I was a cop once, I know the score.
1404
01:50:15,275 --> 01:50:16,693
What will you do now?
1405
01:50:17,027 --> 01:50:20,196
I have no idea. First, take off these
pumps. My bra is killing me. My wig itches.
1406
01:50:20,530 --> 01:50:21,823
My balls are still tight as a fist,
1407
01:50:22,157 --> 01:50:23,783
worried that one of the
critters will bite into them.
1408
01:50:25,410 --> 01:50:26,453
Sam!
1409
01:50:31,458 --> 01:50:35,462
You were great. We were a really
good team, weren't we? Just like before.
1410
01:50:35,795 --> 01:50:38,131
Yeah, except you
weren't that pretty before.
1411
01:50:38,757 --> 01:50:41,426
Has anyone ever told you how
attractive you look
1412
01:50:41,760 --> 01:50:43,345
when you're hanging over a
pool full of nasty condoms?
1413
01:50:43,678 --> 01:50:46,723
- Oh, please, don't come at me like that.
- Oh, right, how could I forget.
1414
01:50:47,057 --> 01:50:48,808
You're homophobic.
- Homo what?
1415
01:50:49,142 --> 01:50:50,060
- Homophobic.
1416
01:50:50,393 --> 01:50:52,979
- After Luigi's Sermon on the
Mount, nobody can possibly
1417
01:50:53,313 --> 01:50:54,856
have anything against
gays anymore...or?
1418
01:50:55,190 --> 01:50:57,359
Every man should be happy
1419
01:50:57,692 --> 01:51:00,445
that he has anything between his legs at
all and can do whatever he wants with it.
1420
01:51:00,779 --> 01:51:02,322
I was kind of touched.
1421
01:51:02,656 --> 01:51:05,283
Luigi, I had no idea you could
make such moving speeches.
1422
01:51:05,617 --> 01:51:07,410
Anyhow, I'm going now.
1423
01:51:07,744 --> 01:51:10,330
I could use something
relaxing, a hot bath or something.
1424
01:51:10,664 --> 01:51:11,665
Isn't that a wonderful idea.
1425
01:51:11,998 --> 01:51:14,250
At home, I have a huge
bathtub and pine needle oil.
1426
01:51:14,584 --> 01:51:16,670
You lie in it and it smells like
the German Black Forest in spring.
1427
01:51:17,003 --> 01:51:18,046
All right, I'm leaving now.
1428
01:51:18,380 --> 01:51:21,132
Pine needle oil was always my mother's
favorite bubble bath.
1429
01:51:21,466 --> 01:51:23,677
I still remember how the
whole apartment smelled like it
1430
01:51:24,010 --> 01:51:24,928
when I was young.
1431
01:51:25,261 --> 01:51:28,223
Some smells accompany you from
childhood throughout your whole life.
1432
01:51:28,890 --> 01:51:32,227
Surely you remember how your mother smelled
when you were a little boy.
1433
01:51:32,560 --> 01:51:35,230
- Oh, please.
- Come on, tell me.
1434
01:51:35,563 --> 01:51:37,107
What did she smell like?
- I don't know.
1435
01:51:37,440 --> 01:51:39,526
- Come on, come on.
- She smelled of fish.
1436
01:51:39,859 --> 01:51:41,820
- Of what?
- Of fish.
1437
01:51:42,153 --> 01:51:45,532
- Of fish?
- Yeah, she was a fishmonger in Queens.
1438
01:51:47,826 --> 01:51:48,952
Should I tell you something?
1439
01:51:49,703 --> 01:51:54,040
I love fish. I often smell of fish myself.
1440
01:51:54,374 --> 01:51:57,669
Mainly because I
love gutting trout.
1441
01:51:58,002 --> 01:52:01,172
I guess you deserve a few
days off, Mackeroni.
1442
01:52:01,965 --> 01:52:04,718
I don't want to see you Iin the
office for the next four weeks.
1443
01:52:05,051 --> 01:52:06,344
Is that clear?
1444
01:52:08,346 --> 01:52:10,598
I won't be coming
into the office anymore, sir.
1445
01:52:11,933 --> 01:52:14,936
I've had it with this job.
- I hate to hear that.
1446
01:52:15,270 --> 01:52:18,857
You're my best man.
- You gotta know when to stop, sir.
1447
01:52:19,190 --> 01:52:22,068
- I bet I smell a lot more fishy
someplace than your wife does.
1448
01:52:22,402 --> 01:52:23,653
I smell like fish soup.
1449
01:52:23,987 --> 01:52:26,823
- Take a few days off and then
we'll talk about it.
1450
01:52:27,157 --> 01:52:28,116
Careful, sir.
1451
01:52:33,371 --> 01:52:36,166
You're a cop
through and through, Mackeroni.
1452
01:52:36,499 --> 01:52:38,626
You keep going.
1453
01:52:38,960 --> 01:52:40,336
Who knows, sir?
1454
01:52:42,881 --> 01:52:43,506
Thank you.
1455
01:52:50,388 --> 01:52:52,182
Yes, please give me the number.
1456
01:53:09,199 --> 01:53:10,283
Well, what now?
1457
01:53:12,202 --> 01:53:14,370
I'm hungry. Let's go eat something.
1458
01:53:15,121 --> 01:53:17,081
Okay, but not Italian.
1459
01:53:17,707 --> 01:53:19,542
But I know a
wonderful kitchen.
1460
01:53:19,876 --> 01:53:21,711
They have the best pasta
and sauces in the world.
1461
01:53:22,045 --> 01:53:22,921
Really?
1462
01:53:23,254 --> 01:53:24,506
Yeah, it's not far from here.
1463
01:53:24,839 --> 01:53:26,466
Once across the
ocean and we're there.
1464
01:53:26,800 --> 01:53:28,802
Sicily is closer than you think.
1465
01:53:29,135 --> 01:53:30,845
You're not serious.
1466
01:53:31,554 --> 01:53:33,223
Of course I'm serious.
1467
01:53:33,598 --> 01:53:35,475
We've got time, right?
1468
01:53:37,018 --> 01:53:38,603
Have you ever been to Europe?
1469
01:53:39,646 --> 01:53:40,939
No.
1470
01:53:43,024 --> 01:53:44,859
I'll show you my homeland.
1471
01:53:45,401 --> 01:53:48,446
I'll show you Mount
Etna and my mother.
1472
01:53:49,697 --> 01:53:50,865
Will she like that, too?
1473
01:53:51,199 --> 01:53:52,367
No.
1474
01:53:53,201 --> 01:53:56,454
But we don't need to tell her
that you're not a virgin anymore.
1475
01:53:59,123 --> 01:54:01,125
You really want
to stop being a cop?
1476
01:54:01,584 --> 01:54:02,752
I don't know.
1477
01:54:03,837 --> 01:54:06,589
If I stop doing it, there will
definitely be a downside.
1478
01:54:06,923 --> 01:54:07,757
So?
1479
01:54:08,091 --> 01:54:11,636
You'll stop calling me
Cop and I like it when you do that.
1480
01:54:12,178 --> 01:54:14,681
I promise I'll always call you Cop.
1481
01:54:15,014 --> 01:54:15,932
- Mackeroni!
1482
01:54:16,266 --> 01:54:16,975
Seriously?
1483
01:54:18,393 --> 01:54:19,644
Say it again.
1484
01:54:20,061 --> 01:54:20,979
Cop.
1485
01:54:23,481 --> 01:54:24,315
And again.
1486
01:54:24,858 --> 01:54:25,984
Cop.
1487
01:54:29,612 --> 01:54:30,530
Again.
1488
01:54:31,573 --> 01:54:32,448
Cop.
1489
01:54:34,492 --> 01:54:35,618
Again.
1490
01:54:36,828 --> 01:54:38,162
Kiss me, Cop.
116218
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