All language subtitles for Youre.the.Worst.S01E08.Finish.Your.Milk.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-Web4HD_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,003 >> GRETCHEN: Yes, Rodney, I know 2 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,004 the agreement is for two years. 3 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,707 The truth is, I'm on dialysis. 4 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,676 It's acute renal failure caused 5 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,843 by sweat poisoning. 6 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,011 Strenuous exercise could 7 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,213 literally kill me. 8 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,714 I'm with my doctor right now. 9 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:14,915 Let me put him on. 10 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,084 >> JIMMY: Oh, come on. 11 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,018 (sighs) 12 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,187 (Indian accent): This is 13 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:20,388 Dr. Patel. 14 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,223 Look, between you and me, she's 15 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,691 on her deathbed. 16 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,559 I told her to cancel her gym 17 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,061 membership just to give her a 18 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,729 purpose in her final hours. 19 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,431 What a tragedy to die so young 20 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,899 having not accomplished anything 21 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,067 in life. 22 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:34,268 >> GRETCHEN: Oh, that guy. 23 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:35,503 What a pessimist. 24 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,737 I'm gonna fight this thing! 25 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,905 Thanks, Rodney. 26 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:38,939 You've been a delight. 27 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:39,940 >> JIMMY: Why don't you just 28 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:40,941 say, "I don't want to go to your 29 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:41,942 dumb gym anymore?" 30 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:42,943 >> GRETCHEN: Because I don't 31 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,612 want Rodney out there judging me 32 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,613 when I don't show up for 10:00 33 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,547 a.m. Pilates class. 34 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,548 >> JIMMY: You've never been to a 35 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:48,349 10:00 a.m. anything. 36 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,350 >> GRETCHEN: My flight's soon. 37 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,551 Can we continue this when I come 38 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:51,752 back from parental purgatory? 39 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:52,920 >> JIMMY: Are your folks really 40 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,455 that awful? 41 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,956 >> GRETCHEN: Just uptight and 42 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:56,857 lame. 43 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,092 They act like I don't have my 44 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,128 shit together. 45 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,129 >> JIMMY: Those clothes aren't 46 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,363 even fully dry. 47 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,431 >> GRETCHEN: I'm gonna go borrow 48 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,599 your toothbrush. 49 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:09,770 (Edgar sighs) 50 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,971 >> JIMMY: Uh, the trash goes 51 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,206 from inside to outside, not the 52 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,274 other way around. 53 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,275 >> EDGAR: Oh, I've been trying 54 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,443 this recycling thing. 55 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,644 If I save up enough money, I can 56 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,878 buy Ambien from this Web site. 57 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,113 >> JIMMY: Isn't the V.A. 58 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,448 supposed to give you drugs for 59 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,449 your... for your war brain 60 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:22,616 stuff? 61 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,817 >> EDGAR: I don't want to use up 62 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,052 resources when there are vets 63 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,287 out there with real problems. 64 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,455 >> JIMMY: You're trading soda 65 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,622 cans for black market 66 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:29,823 pharmaceuticals. 67 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,659 That is a problem. 68 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,660 >> EDGAR: Fine. 69 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,129 I'll go talk to them. 70 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,130 >> GRETCHEN: And I'm out. 71 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,131 >> JIMMY: All right, just let me 72 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,132 wash this mask off, and then we 73 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,133 can go. 74 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,134 >> GRETCHEN: Oh, no, no, no. 75 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:40,901 I'll just take an Uber. 76 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:41,902 >> JIMMY: I'm headed that 77 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:42,570 direction anyway. 78 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,504 >> GRETCHEN: Jimmy, you're not 79 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,505 driving me to the airport. 80 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,506 That's ridiculous. 81 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,474 >> JIMMY: Look, I promise there 82 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,476 will be no mushy, curbside 83 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,477 stuff, okay? 84 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:50,644 I won't even come to a complete 85 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:51,345 stop. 86 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,513 You can just tuck and roll, all 87 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,181 right? 88 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,183 Give me a couple of minutes. 89 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:05,259 >> * I'm gonna leave you anyway 90 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,328 I'm gonna leave you anyway 91 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,663 Gonna leave you anyway. * 92 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:15,836 >> BECCA: You cheated on Paul?! 93 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:16,837 >> LINDSAY: Shh. 94 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,005 Don't whisper-yell at me! 95 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,207 >> BECCA: How can you even live 96 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,208 with yourself? 97 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,209 >> LINDSAY: I can't! 98 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,643 I feel so bad, I can't eat or 99 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,011 watch any shows with adultery. 100 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,179 That's all my shows. 101 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,180 I'm getting nosebleeds from the 102 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:26,847 guilt. 103 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,848 >> BECCA: Nosebleeds? 104 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:28,849 >> LINDSAY: Also, I lied. 105 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,017 I can totally eat. 106 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,219 >> WOMAN: Ladies, please keep it 107 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,453 down. 108 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,621 >> LINDSAY: It's not fair. 109 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,022 You don't know what it's like 110 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,224 to yearn for the touch of 111 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,992 another. 112 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:39,993 >> BECCA: Jimmy tried to kiss 113 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:40,994 me. 114 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,296 >> LINDSAY (loudly): What?! 115 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,531 >> BECCA: But I... 116 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,367 Oh, I said no... because I love 117 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,535 my husband. 118 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,702 >> LINDSAY: Did you want to? 119 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,903 >> BECCA: I took a vow. 120 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,206 Marriage means being in it 24/7 121 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,541 from the moment when you wake up 122 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,142 in the morning, and you see that 123 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,378 red, curly happy trail, to at 124 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,313 night when he rolls off of you 125 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,314 and asks if you've had your 126 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,215 "gazz" yet. 127 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:02,082 >> LINDSAY: He asks you after he 128 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,016 rolls off you? 129 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:03,817 >> BECCA: The point is, I 130 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:04,818 restrain myself because I am not 131 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:05,519 an animal. 132 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,420 After this class, you are gonna 133 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,421 come clean with Paul. 134 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,422 >> LINDSAY: I can't tell him. 135 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:09,423 >> BECCA: Lindsay, you're not 136 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:10,424 gonna tell him? 137 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:11,425 >> LINDSAY: Ow! Ow! Bec, stop! 138 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,426 >> BECCA: You need me to make 139 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,093 you tell him? 140 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,061 >> BECCA: You gonna tell him, 141 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,062 Lindsay? You gonna tell him? 142 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:15,729 >> LINDSAY: Ow! 143 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:16,730 >> BECCA: You know I can make 144 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:17,731 you tell him, can make you! 145 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,166 >> LINDSAY: No. Fine! 146 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,368 (whispers): Fine. 147 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,002 Fine, I'll tell him. 148 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,572 (gasps) 149 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,574 >> BECCA: You can continue the 150 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,909 yoga now. 151 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,913 * 152 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,617 >> * I got three, four gallons 153 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:37,851 of Hennessy 154 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,086 I got all my dawgs 155 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,087 at the V.I.P... * 156 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,455 >> JIMMY: Cheers. 157 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,623 Fellows! How is it? 158 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,857 Yeah. 159 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,092 Are you here to see a black 160 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,260 movie, as well? 161 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,461 >> HONEY NUTZ: We just call it 162 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,629 a movie. 163 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,863 >> JIMMY: Where's Sam? 164 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,098 >> SHITSTAIN: Had a meeting. 165 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,266 He's on the board of the 166 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,267 Angelino Heights Restoration 167 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,101 Committee. 168 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:54,935 >> HONEY NUTZ: What are you 169 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:55,769 doing here? 170 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:56,604 >> JIMMY: I like to yell out 171 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:57,971 character inconsistencies, 172 00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,607 structural flaws, and keep a 173 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,808 general humorous running 174 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:01,509 commentary. 175 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,610 This is the only place I can do 176 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,445 that. 177 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,446 >> SHITSTAIN: To be fair, we do 178 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,447 like to go to Beverly Hills to 179 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,448 see a Wes Anderson movie, so... 180 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,449 >> HONEY NUTZ: I like it when 181 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,450 they clap for Bill Murray. 182 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,451 >> SHITSTAIN: Yeah, he's funny. 183 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,452 >> HONEY NUTZ: Yeah, yeah. 184 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,620 >> SHITSTAIN: Okay, he's funny. 185 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,621 >> JIMMY: I've just dropped 186 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,622 Gretchen off at the airport, as 187 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,056 well, so I was in the hood 188 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:16,824 anyway. 189 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:17,758 >> HONEY NUTZ: Where does that 190 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:18,659 bitch think she flying? 191 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,660 We supposed to meet her ass 192 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,361 tomorrow morning. 193 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,395 >> JIMMY: Oh, that's impossible. 194 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,563 She's gone home for, like, a 195 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,564 week. 196 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,565 >> SHITSTAIN: Hey, it's 197 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,299 Shitstain. 198 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,635 Where are you? 199 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,069 Oh, oh, she's here. 200 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,070 Yeah, she's headed to the 201 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,305 museum with her parents. 202 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,473 Yeah, yeah, Sam tried to drag us 203 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,641 to that. 204 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,842 Heard the Rauschenberg pretty 205 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,076 tight. 206 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,144 Okay, word. 207 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,145 >> HONEY NUTZ: Mm. Okay, so she 208 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,146 told you she was flying out of 209 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,147 town? 210 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,148 >> JIMMY: Yeah. 211 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,149 >> HONEY NUTZ: And now she at a 212 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:42,850 museum? 213 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,784 >> SHITSTAIN: Why would she lie 214 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,486 to you about seeing her folks? 215 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,754 Have you met them? 216 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,955 >> JIMMY: No. 217 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:48,822 >> HONEY NUTZ: Oh, shit. 218 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:49,490 (laughs) 219 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,658 >> SHITSTAIN: Yo. 220 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,659 >> HONEY NUTZ: She trying to 221 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:52,660 hide you! 222 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:53,461 >> SHITSTAIN: It's just like 223 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,862 Richie and Margot in The Royal 224 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:55,529 Tenenbaums. 225 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:56,630 >> HONEY NUTZ: Right. Shit. 226 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,698 Look, I wouldn't want to tell my 227 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,866 mom I'm dating Draco Malfoy, 228 00:04:58,899 --> 00:04:59,667 either. 229 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,434 >> SHITSTAIN: Draco. 230 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,769 >> BOTH: Draco! 231 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,503 >> SHITSTAIN: That's... 232 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,837 (Honey Nutz laughs) 233 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:04,938 Draco! 234 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:05,939 It's butter in that? 235 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:06,940 >> HONEY NUTZ: Oh, yeah, there's 236 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:07,941 butter in there. Right. 237 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:08,942 >> SHITSTAIN: Oh, we good, we 238 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:09,877 good. 239 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:10,844 >> EDGAR: So, for a while, I 240 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,312 started drinking generic vodka 241 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,847 till I passed out, but then I'd 242 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,215 still have the same nightmares, 243 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,283 only in the dream, I'd be drunk 244 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,518 and way less coordinated. 245 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,686 >> CASEWORKER: I am so sorry, 246 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,387 brother. 247 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,388 >> EDGAR: Yeah, now I'm scared 248 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,855 to go to sleep because I wake up 249 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:22,723 super angry. 250 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,891 >> CASEWORKER: Sleep to rage. 251 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:24,958 It's the worst. 252 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,026 I used to tell my wife to 253 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,528 duct-tape pillows to my hands in 254 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,062 case I woke up swinging. 255 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:32,366 (chuckles) 256 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,201 >> EDGAR: So, my roommate says 257 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,969 that I have a serious problem, 258 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,204 and that you guys should cover 259 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,372 all my meds. 260 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,573 >> CASEWORKER: Usually, I have 261 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,710 to turn down a lot of folks, but 262 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,077 you seem like a perfect 263 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,046 candidate for help. 264 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,047 Real quick, who is this 265 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,048 roommate? 266 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,049 >> EDGAR: Oh, Jimmy. 267 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,050 He's a novelist from Britain. 268 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,051 He lets me live with him in 269 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,052 exchange for cooking and 270 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,053 housework. 271 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,054 >> CASEWORKER: You have a job? 272 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,055 Tight. 273 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,223 It can be so tough for vets to 274 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:56,924 find work... 275 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,025 >> EDGAR: Oh, no, he doesn't pay 276 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:58,759 me. 277 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,060 >> CASEWORKER: Cool. 278 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,862 So he thinks the U.S. government 279 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:02,930 should cover your expenses... 280 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:03,664 >> EDGAR: Mm-hmm. 281 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,665 >> CASEWORKER: ...while you work 282 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,499 for free? 283 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,900 >> EDGAR: Oh, no. 284 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,569 He's my best friend. 285 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,070 >> CASEWORKER: Cool. 286 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,606 Okay, very cool. 287 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,442 Soldier, have you ever heard of 288 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,176 Domestic Civilian Transference 289 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,210 Syndrome By Proxy? 290 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,211 >> EDGAR: Mm-mm. 291 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,212 >> CASEWORKER: It's my only 292 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,581 copy, but trust me, it's highly 293 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,582 true. 294 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,751 You need to nip this in the bud. 295 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,253 Tonight, you sit this so-called 296 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,855 roommate down and you say, "Hey, 297 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,123 man, I was in the shit while you 298 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,959 were at home watching telly. 299 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,427 If my nightmares are too scary 300 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,428 for you, maybe you need to pay 301 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:35,429 for my meds!" 302 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,430 >> EDGAR: Damn straight. 303 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,431 >> CASEWORKER: Yeah, you tell 304 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,432 him that. 305 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,267 >> EDGAR: I will tell him that. 306 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,435 I will! 307 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,603 Thank you. 308 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,771 >> CASEWORKER: You're welcome, 309 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,807 soldier. 310 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,041 >> EDGAR (mutters): Watching 311 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,276 telly... 312 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,278 (muttering continues) 313 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,481 >> CASEWORKER: Number 97. 314 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,560 >> PAUL: You're home. 315 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,561 >> LINDSAY: We need to talk 316 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,229 about something. 317 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,432 This has been eating away at me, 318 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:15,035 but the fact is... 319 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,776 ...I realized I don't really 320 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,244 know what you do all day. 321 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,245 (chuckles) 322 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,413 Tell me about this... 323 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,615 weird thing. 324 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,782 >> PAUL: The recumbent? 325 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:29,983 >> LINDSAY: Yeah. 326 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,251 How does it work? 327 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,753 >> PAUL: Well, if you really 328 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,155 want the total experience, I can 329 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,590 always pull out the tandem. 330 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:40,060 >> LINDSAY: The what now? 331 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,332 >> PAUL: A semi-reclined 332 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,934 position provides broader 333 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,769 distribution of body weight, and 334 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,337 allows some better blood flow to 335 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,605 the anus and testicles. 336 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,641 Aw, heck yeah! 337 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,008 Here's the gang! 338 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,944 Mimi, Connor, this is my wife 339 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,278 Lindsay. 340 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,479 (chuckles) 341 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,648 Last one to Starbucks is an 342 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,815 uprighter! 343 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,217 (groans loudly) 344 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,053 We should let them win. 345 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,655 Connor's life-coaching business 346 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,156 just went under, and Mimi has 347 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,323 impetigo. 348 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,725 All right, here I come, Mimi. 349 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:12,660 Look out. 350 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,661 (bicycle bell dings) 351 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,663 (chuckles) 352 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,670 >> JIMMY: Nice use of negative 353 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,671 space. 354 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,672 >> GRETCHEN: What are you doing 355 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,673 here?! 356 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,674 >> JIMMY: What are you doing 357 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,675 here? 358 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,842 I just dropped you at the 359 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:29,843 airport! 360 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:30,510 >> GRETCHEN: What? 361 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,511 No, you didn't. 362 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,312 >> JIMMY: Yes, I did. 363 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,346 >> GRETCHEN: What?! What are you 364 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,682 talking about? 365 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,918 No, that was a dream you had. 366 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:38,852 All right, fine. 367 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,353 This is so dumb. 368 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,557 So, I am waiting at the gate as 369 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:44,858 they deplane the flight before 370 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,694 mine, and all of a sudden, guess 371 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,929 who gets off? 372 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,197 My friggin' parents! 373 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,365 And I'm like, "What?! 374 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,868 I thought you guys wanted me to 375 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,036 come visit." 376 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,271 So dumb. 377 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,107 Gretchen, you nerd. 378 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,374 >> JIMMY: Stop. 379 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,542 >> GRETCHEN: All right, I lied. 380 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,711 But Vanessa and Fred are such a 381 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,912 bummer! 382 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,113 I didn't want to subject you to 383 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,081 their passive-aggressive shit. 384 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,382 >> JIMMY: Right, so you packed 385 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,018 and had me drop you off at the 386 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,219 airport? 387 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,722 >> GRETCHEN: Did I really pack? 388 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:15,723 I just put some damp laundry and 389 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:16,724 toilet paper into a suitcase. 390 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:17,725 Open your eyes, Jimmy. 391 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:18,926 >> JIMMY: Right, well, I have to 392 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,127 meet the people that created 393 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,294 this nightmare of a person. 394 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,562 >> GRETCHEN: Oh, I would, but we 395 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,731 have to leave. 396 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,898 I'm taking them to the airport. 397 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,099 >> JIMMY: I thought you just 398 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,100 picked them up. 399 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,101 >> GRETCHEN: It turns out they 400 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:28,969 can't stay. 401 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,403 Dad is having emergency back 402 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,739 surgery tomorrow at Johns 403 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:32,572 Hopkins. 404 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,742 He is having his L7 fused, and 405 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,777 they just had a cancellation. 406 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,245 The procedure's experimental, 407 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,747 but Dr. Pablo's the best, and a 408 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,948 slot just opened up. 409 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,149 I am serious. 410 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,483 >> JIMMY: Mm. Well, I'm not 411 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,252 leaving until you produce these 412 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,654 monsters. 413 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,288 >> GRETCHEN: All right. 414 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:51,258 You asked for it. 415 00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,633 >> JIMMY: You're not art. 416 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,801 >> GRETCHEN: Jimmy? 417 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,502 Vanessa and Fred. 418 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,771 >> MOM: Jimmy, hi. 419 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:04,938 >> JIMMY: Hi. 420 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,106 >> MOM: Nice to meet you. 421 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,307 So sorry we have to run. 422 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,308 >> DAD: I'm having a surgery, 423 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,176 Jimmy. 424 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,610 >> JIMMY: Yes. Yes, Gretchen 425 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:11,278 said. 426 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,914 Okay, good luck with that. 427 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,817 So glad I got to meet you. 428 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:17,851 So I'll see you later? 429 00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,119 >> GRETCHEN: Uh, nah, I have a 430 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,120 work thing. 431 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,121 Call you tomorrow? 432 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,123 >> JIMMY: Okay. 433 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,102 >> GRETCHEN (echoing): My dad's 434 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,471 having back surgery... 435 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:42,042 at Johns Hopkins. 436 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,178 He's having his L7 fused. 437 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,951 Dr. Pablo's the best. 438 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,952 Back surgery... 439 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:52,953 Johns Hopkins... 440 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:53,721 Back surgery... 441 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,387 Johns Hopkins... 442 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,388 Back surgery... 443 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,656 John Hopkins... 444 00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,127 Dr. Pablo... 445 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,830 Procedure's experimental... 446 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,498 experimental... experimental. 447 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,803 >> DAD: Well, they said that 448 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,804 it's, like, all tropical plants 449 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,504 they've got. 450 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:12,505 >> MOM: Oh, okay. 451 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,140 >> JIMMY: Who are you? 452 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,141 Where's Gretchen? 453 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:14,808 >> MOM: Oh, look, hon. 454 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:15,743 It's the guy with the accent. 455 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:16,744 >> DAD: That lady said we were 456 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:17,745 on a hidden camera show. 457 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:18,712 What channel will this be on? 458 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:19,747 >> MOM: Oh, I bet it's nine. 459 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,748 >> DAD: Four? No, four, right? 460 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:21,915 >> MOM: No. No, I bet you a week 461 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:22,916 of dishes it's channel nine. 462 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:23,917 >> DAD: Nine?! 463 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:24,918 >> MOM: Nine. Nine. Nine. 464 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,920 >> DAD: Four. Four. Four. 465 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,327 >> PAUL: And as I like to say, 466 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,996 once you pedal on your back, 467 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,564 you never go back. 468 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,766 To pedaling normally. 469 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,000 (chuckles) 470 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,234 (Lindsay laughs weakly) 471 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,402 >> LINDSAY: This is really nice. 472 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,570 >> PAUL: Well, there's more 473 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,238 where that came from. 474 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,240 Were you serious about seeing 475 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,778 what I do for fun? 476 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,379 >> LINDSAY: Yes. 477 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,514 >> PAUL (laughs): Well, hold 478 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,749 on to your hat. 479 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,250 (Lindsay groans) 480 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,252 (engine sputtering) 481 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,358 Ladies and gentlemen, we've 482 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,261 reached an altitude of 75 feet. 483 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:09,629 If you look out the right side 484 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,131 of the plane, you can see the 485 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,365 San Gabriels. 486 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,234 Those on the left can catch a 487 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,303 glimpse of my beautiful wife 488 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,271 Lindsay. (chuckles) 489 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,439 >> DARREN (over radio): Paul, 490 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,407 you know that sub-hundred 491 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,741 elevation is for westbound 492 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:22,709 traffic only. 493 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,443 >> PAUL: Roger that. 494 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,312 Sorry, Darren. 495 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,948 Climbing. 496 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,984 Did you know that four American 497 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:34,121 presidents were home-brewers? 498 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,924 Can you guess? 499 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,092 George Washington, Thomas 500 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,629 Jefferson, James Madison, 501 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,631 and...? 502 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:51,138 The answer is Barack Obama! 503 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,505 Uh... 504 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,974 Lindsay? 505 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,508 >> LINDSAY: Huh? 506 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,776 Oh. 507 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,311 I'm fine. 508 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,813 Keep talking beer. 509 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,815 (Paul sighs) 510 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,986 >> EDGAR: Jimmy, we need to 511 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,154 talk. 512 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,856 >> JIMMY: Gretchen was so scared 513 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,523 of me meeting her parents that 514 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,592 she hired fake parents. 515 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,927 Am I really Draco Malfoy? 516 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,162 >> EDGAR: I just talked to the 517 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,329 V.A., and... 518 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,931 Am I just some unpaid servant 519 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,099 who lives here for free? 520 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,333 >> JIMMY: That's a concise way 521 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,501 of putting it. 522 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,669 >> EDGAR: My caseworker says 523 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:23,871 maybe you should be paying for 524 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,105 my meds. 525 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,339 >> JIMMY: Right. Listen to me, 526 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,507 my friend. 527 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,943 You bought into a long con. 528 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,845 Society screwed you over, and we 529 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,013 owe you for that. 530 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,215 I, personally, do not owe you, 531 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,549 but a sort of collective "we" 532 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,717 does. 533 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,352 And you need your meds so you 534 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,854 can shake off some of the damage 535 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,956 done by Cheney's fictional 536 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,524 yellowcake uranium. 537 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,826 So, you turn around, you go back 538 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,962 to the V.A., and you demand your 539 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,998 due! 540 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,707 (Gretchen sighs) 541 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:01,708 >> FRED: 15, love. 542 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,709 Let's go, sweetie. 543 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:03,710 >> VANESSA: Gretchen, your 544 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,711 backhand has completely 545 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,712 disintegrated. 546 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:06,646 >> GRETCHEN: Sorry, Mommy. 547 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,647 >> VANESSA: Seven years of 548 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,748 training with AndrГ©s for 549 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,750 nothing. (scoffs) 550 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:13,987 Ready? 551 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,488 >> FRED: You can do it, sweetie. 552 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,490 >> GRETCHEN: Sorry, Mommy. 553 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,459 (Jimmy mouthing) 554 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,903 >> JIMMY: Hello, darling. 555 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,071 Sorry I'm late. 556 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,772 Mwah. Hello. 557 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,442 I'm Jimmy Shive-Overly. 558 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,676 Gretchen's boyfriend. 559 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,844 >> FRED: Oh, well, hello. 560 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,012 I'm Fred. 561 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,247 >> VANESSA: Vanessa. 562 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,414 Please join us. 563 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,916 In her typical way, Gretchen has 564 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,184 told us nothing about you. 565 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,018 >> JIMMY: Ugh! 566 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,586 (chuckles) 567 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,754 Milk. 568 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,023 Gretchen-- always ordering milk. 569 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,524 Sometimes double milks. 570 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,093 I actually sometimes wonder if 571 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,595 maybe she drinks too much milk. 572 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,763 (Jimmy laughs) 573 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,765 >> VANESSA: So, Jimmy, where are 574 00:14:58,798 --> 00:14:59,933 you from? 575 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,134 >> GRETCHEN: London. 576 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,369 The fancy part. 577 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,603 >> FRED: And what do you do? 578 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,472 >> GRETCHEN: He's a novelist. 579 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,107 Published, very well-regarded. 580 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,108 Jimmy... 581 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,042 >> VANESSA: And, Gretchen, 582 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,377 you're still doing that music 583 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,044 thing? 584 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:11,979 >> FRED: Who's that skinny boy 585 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:12,980 you represent? 586 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:13,947 >> JIMMY: Shitstain? 587 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,282 >> GRETCHEN: No! 588 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,884 Josh Groban is who he meant. 589 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:18,885 >> VANESSA: How did you two 590 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:19,886 meet? 591 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,888 >> GRETCHEN: At a fund-raiser. 592 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,490 It was... 593 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,724 animal-related. 594 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,892 >> FRED: Ah, Gretchen does so 595 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,994 much charity work. 596 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:27,995 >> JIMMY: Oh, she does love 597 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:28,996 animals. 598 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:29,997 Tell your mom how you got your 599 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:30,998 cat. 600 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:31,898 >> GRETCHEN: Jimmy, it was so 601 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,100 nice of you to stop by, but I 602 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,101 know you have that meeting. 603 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:34,801 I'll walk you out. 604 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,503 >> VANESSA: What meeting? 605 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,338 >> GRETCHEN: Movie producers. 606 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,472 From Hollywood. 607 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:40,740 They are turning his book into a 608 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,810 movie starring Zach Braff and 609 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:44,978 that woman from the show you 610 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:45,979 like. 611 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:46,980 >> VANESSA: Scandal? 612 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:48,148 >> GRETCHEN: Yes, Scandal. 613 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,649 Jimmy, I bet that driver has 614 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,318 been waiting outside for a while 615 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,152 now. 616 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,154 You should go. 617 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,124 >> JIMMY: Okay. 618 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,126 Nice to meet you both. 619 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,863 Okay, none of this is true. 620 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:04,864 I'm not from the fancy part of 621 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:05,865 London, I'm from the bad part 622 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:06,866 of Manchester. 623 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:07,867 >> GRETCHEN: Stop. 624 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,868 >> JIMMY: I am an author. 625 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,037 Talented but wildly 626 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,604 underappreciated. 627 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,173 I had to follow Gretchen here 628 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,441 today, only to witness her 629 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,542 mother bullying her during a 630 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,543 tennis match. 631 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,544 You're right about her 632 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:18,545 backhand, by the way-- it's 633 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,546 appalling. 634 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,547 >> VANESSA: You're telling me 635 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,548 how to speak to Gretchen? 636 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,549 >> JIMMY: You've never spoken to 637 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,017 the real Gretchen. 638 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,118 The real Gretchen runs publicity 639 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,519 for some of the biggest rap acts 640 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,055 in town. 641 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,222 The real Gretchen doesn't drink 642 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,724 milk or take ballet classes. 643 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,959 In fact, she just cancelled her 644 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,027 gym membership so she'd have 645 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,128 money for cigarettes. 646 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,129 >> FRED: You smoke? 647 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,130 >> JIMMY: Sure, she hasn't been 648 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,531 to the dentist in years and 649 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,533 lives off 7-Eleven hot dogs, but 650 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:44,071 she is brave and spontaneous. 651 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,539 And that Gretchen is so 652 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:48,475 paralyzed with the fear of 653 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,077 disappointing you that you don't 654 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,212 actually know her at all. 655 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,480 I feel sorry for you two. 656 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,481 You will never know the 657 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:58,051 brilliant, beautiful mess that 658 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:00,620 is your daughter. 659 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,759 (Gretchen chuckles nervously) 660 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,400 >> GRETCHEN: Daddy, I... 661 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,068 >> FRED: (sighs) Just take us 662 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,936 back to our hotel. 663 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,938 And... 664 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,308 finish your milk. 665 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:39,058 >> CASEWORKER: I really wish I 666 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,059 could help, but funds are tight. 667 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,261 Congress wants to pay for the 668 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,629 war, not the casualties. 669 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:43,630 >> EDGAR: I'm not asking for a 670 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,897 medal or a parade, just a good 671 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,600 night's sleep. 672 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,102 (caseworker sighs) 673 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,304 >> CASEWORKER: Uncle! I give in. 674 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,305 (chuckles) I will fill out your 675 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,306 paperwork and find the money for 676 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,307 your meds. 677 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:55,308 >> EDGAR: Thank you. 678 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,309 >> CASEWORKER: Where is it that 679 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,310 you're living? 680 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,311 >> EDGAR: Uh, Silver Lake. 681 00:17:58,345 --> 00:17:59,579 >> CASEWORKER: Silver Lake. 682 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,281 Ooh-la-la. 683 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,216 Hey, Jerry, bad news, you're 684 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,951 gonna have to turn in your hook. 685 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:05,952 >> JERRY: But-but I use it to 686 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:06,953 pick things up. 687 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:07,954 >> CASEWORKER: No, man. 688 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:08,955 Stuff's gonna stay on the 689 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:09,956 ground. 690 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,458 This hipster's having bad 691 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,860 "dweams." 692 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,969 >> EDGAR: I didn't... 693 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,742 (gunfire over TV) 694 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,145 (knocking) 695 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,148 >> GRETCHEN: Why would you do 696 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,149 that?! 697 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,184 My dad didn't say another word 698 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,251 to me in the car, and now 699 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,586 they're changing their flight so 700 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,620 they leave tomorrow! 701 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,621 What is wrong with you?! 702 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,622 >> JIMMY: Sorry, wouldn't you 703 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,623 rather have a fractured, 704 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,091 combative relationship with your 705 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,459 parents that's based on truth 706 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,695 than this pleasant artificial 707 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,696 relationship based on lies? 708 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:50,697 >> GRETCHEN: No. 709 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:51,698 >> JIMMY: Well, then you 710 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,699 should've been more explicit 711 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,700 about that. 712 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,001 >> GRETCHEN: They're my family! 713 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,703 I get to lie to them till I'm 714 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,704 old and they're dead, and you 715 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,705 don't get a vote! 716 00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,706 I would never tell your dad to 717 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:00,707 read your book. 718 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,708 >> JIMMY: Yeah, because he 719 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,709 wouldn't let you through the 720 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,976 door 'cause you're a redhead and 721 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,345 he's hated the Irish ever since 722 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,613 the IRA blew up his favorite 723 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,614 chip shop. 724 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,015 Look, I'm sorry. 725 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,683 Forgive me for valuing honesty. 726 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,684 >> GRETCHEN: This is about you 727 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:12,952 controlling and bullying 728 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,554 everybody to behave the way you 729 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:15,622 think they should. 730 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,723 I knew you were insensitive and 731 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:17,957 manipulative, but you're mean, 732 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:18,991 Jimmy. 733 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,193 You're a mean person. 734 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,194 >> JIMMY: Well, at least I am a 735 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,563 person! 736 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,876 (sniffles) 737 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,100 * 738 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,449 >> JIMMY: Hey, um... 739 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:17,450 >> GRETCHEN: I'm done. 740 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,451 I'm tagging out. 741 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,452 >> JIMMY: What? 742 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:20,720 Of-of this argument? 743 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,921 >> GRETCHEN: No, Jimmy. 744 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:22,922 Of this. 745 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,090 I told you I don't do 746 00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,558 relationships, and yet here we 747 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,959 are in one. 748 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,629 I feel... I feel like this train 749 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,598 is speeding up, and this may be 750 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,865 my last chance to hop off before 751 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,634 any serious injury. 752 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,636 >> JIMMY: Speak English. 753 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,773 >> GRETCHEN: Good-bye, Jimmy. 754 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,209 Sorry! 755 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,578 You're right, I'm not a person. 756 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,917 (door slams) 757 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,156 >> PAUL: Those three stars are 758 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,426 Orion's Belt. 759 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,161 See how he looks like a man with 760 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,262 a club? 761 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,263 (Australian accent): G'day, 762 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,264 Linds. 763 00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,100 I'm Orion, the mighty hunter. 764 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,102 (both laugh) 765 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,274 Hmm. What was that for? 766 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,743 >> LINDSAY: Nothing. 767 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,812 Just... you. 768 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,614 You weirdo. 769 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,616 (phone chimes) 770 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,920 (gasps) 771 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,256 I'm sorry. I have to go. 772 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,024 Gretchen needs me. 773 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,793 Thanks for the day. 774 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,828 Have fun with your stars. 775 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:41,634 >> PAUL: They're everyone's 776 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,036 stars. 777 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,182 (door opens, closes) 778 00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,818 >> EDGAR: Where's Gretchen? 779 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:02,722 And why are you cooking? 780 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,290 >> JIMMY: It's over. 781 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,291 Lasted longer than anyone 782 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,659 would've guessed, huh? 783 00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,995 >> EDGAR: No. 784 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,463 What happened? 785 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:11,464 >> JIMMY: Uh, can we not talk 786 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,465 about it? 787 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,300 I-I need to just... 788 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,235 just not. 789 00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:17,537 (sighs) 790 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:18,971 You hungry? 791 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,374 >> EDGAR: Yeah, I-I could eat. 792 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,913 >> JIMMY: No go on the pills, 793 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:27,914 huh? 794 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,749 >> EDGAR: (scoffs) Nope. 795 00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:30,850 >> JIMMY: We'll go down there 796 00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:31,918 tomorrow and sort it out. 797 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,553 >> EDGAR: R-Really? 798 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,555 Thanks. 799 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,158 >> JIMMY: I have no idea how to 800 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,159 cook. 801 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,160 >> EDGAR: What have you been 802 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,395 doing all this time? 803 00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:44,063 >> JIMMY: Just, uh, stirring 804 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:47,500 ketchup in a pan. 805 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:50,937 >> EDGAR: Okay. Okay. Um... 806 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:52,905 that's a good base. 807 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:53,906 >> JIMMY: Yeah? 808 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:54,907 >> EDGAR: Yeah. 809 00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,443 Uh, pinch of salt, throw it in 810 00:22:56,476 --> 00:22:57,444 there. 811 00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,545 >> JIMMY: Pinch-pinch of salt. 812 00:22:58,578 --> 00:22:59,612 >> EDGAR: And then add a little 813 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:01,614 bit of, uh, olive oil, two, 814 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:02,615 three counts worth. 815 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:03,916 Now stir it in. 816 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,084 Stir it in nice and gently. 817 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,953 And, uh, keep stirring, keep 818 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:08,955 stirring. 819 00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:11,724 * And may 820 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:15,528 I call you baby? 821 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:18,765 For the rest 822 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:22,669 * Of my days? 823 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,075 * And do 824 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:31,077 You think I'm crazy... * 825 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,079 Captioned by 826 00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,413 Media Access Group at WGBH 827 00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:37,416 access.wgbh.org 51127

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.