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1
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,366
Okay, so, what did he say?
2
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:37,747
That he was coming to town for a meeting
and asked me to go to dinner Thursday.
3
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,540
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
4
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,210
Thursday?! It's Valentine's Day!
5
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:45,755
He asked you to dinner
on Valentine's Day!
6
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,132
No, he probably doesn't even
know it's Valentine's Day.
7
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,718
Well, if he doesn't know
that it's Valentine's Day,
8
00:00:50,802 --> 00:00:52,345
then he's not in a relationship.
9
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:54,972
I don't think Carrie wants to
hear the inner machinations...
10
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,683
Well, wait, wait,
wait. Not so fast.
11
00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:00,645
- How so?
- A girlfriend would be letting him know.
12
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,689
So, the way I see it,
either "A," he knows
13
00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:06,442
and he has asked you to
dinner on Valentine's Day,
14
00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:10,154
or "B," he doesn't know, and
he doesn't have a girlfriend.
15
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,697
I think he doesn't know.
16
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,759
And therefore, doesn't
have a girlfriend?
17
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:17,328
Possibly. I mean, why else
would he be asking me to dinner?
18
00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:18,746
And full disclosure,
19
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:24,877
yeah, I knew it was Valentine's Day
when I wrote back "yes" to his email.
20
00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:28,965
So, what about you? What are
your plans for Valentine's Day?
21
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:32,802
- Any new ladies on the horizon?
- No.
22
00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:35,221
And why do you assume only
ladies on the horizon?
23
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,390
Should we not be
assuming only ladies?
24
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:39,391
Honestly, I have no idea.
25
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:42,186
It was Che that I was drawn
to, and they're non-binary.
26
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,813
It's not like I was
married to Steve
27
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:47,567
and fantasizing about Brady's
friend Drew's hot mom.
28
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,777
But ya pulled that
name up pretty quickly.
29
00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:52,238
Well, she's clearly hot.
Everyone knows that.
30
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,575
- Is she single?
- You don't even know if she's gay.
31
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,618
You don't even
know if you're gay.
32
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,955
And as your very good
friend for over 25 years,
33
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,542
I just think you should figure it
out, so that you can find love again.
34
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,377
You're like Cupid on steroids.
35
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:11,424
So, we were thinking on Thursday, we
could get together for a few cocktails.
36
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:15,344
Yeah, we haven't had a night out,
just the three of us, in forever.
37
00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:16,804
Doesn't that sound fun?
38
00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:18,782
Actually, it sounds more
like my married girlfriends
39
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,100
are worried I'm alone on
my first Valentine's Day
40
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,852
since my Andre breakup.
41
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,021
- I'll pay for the drinks.
- I'm fine.
42
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,523
I have the perfect
evening planned.
43
00:02:27,607 --> 00:02:32,320
I'm gonna stay at home and make
myself a chocolate souffle.
44
00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,405
I'm having a "me-vening."
45
00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:37,909
- A "me-vening"?
- Fine. We'll come to Brooklyn.
46
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:41,496
- No! You're stuck with your husbands.
- Fuck.
47
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:44,832
So, we don't think we should have
to wear these uniforms in winter.
48
00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:48,169
You don't think the waitresses at
Hooters wear puffy coats, do ya?
49
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,213
Good meeting. Back to the bread.
50
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,469
Hotfellas Bakery.
Yes, this is he.
51
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:59,680
She did? She did?
52
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,016
She does?
53
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,853
Yes, we can talk details
on a follow-up call.
54
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:07,146
Thank you!
55
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,734
Drew Barrymore loved the
bread basket I sent over
56
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:14,963
and she thinks it would be fun to have
me and a Hotfella on for Valentine's Day!
57
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,614
Which one of you
delivered the basket?
58
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,698
Me.
59
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,910
That better be insulin.
60
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,413
It's H.G.H. My calves
are under-performing.
61
00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:25,122
I mean, look at these guys.
62
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:28,376
Nope. This isn't
the Moscow Olympics.
63
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,920
I run a clean business.
Hang up your onesie and go.
64
00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:35,133
- You serious?
- It's a morning show.
65
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,261
Orange juice and juice-heads
do not go together.
66
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:42,098
Hey, just to be clear no one
doing human growth hormone
67
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,016
can be a Hotfella.
68
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,769
- Fuck it then. Yeah.
- Okay.
69
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,521
I'm goin' to the gym.
70
00:03:49,814 --> 00:03:51,399
Leave the uniforms!
71
00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:03,077
- Rock is really somethin' of a celebrity?
- I know, it's crazy!
72
00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:06,748
Just the one Ralph Lauren campaign
and already we have interest
73
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,083
from all three top
modeling agencies.
74
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:13,671
And the Instagram I made for
them already has 3,000 followers.
75
00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:17,884
It took me a year to get half
that many for Richard Burton.
76
00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:23,014
Have you seen Mr. Burton's
latest "countdown to V-Day" post?
77
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:26,517
- No, sorry. I'm behind.
- That's okay, no worries.
78
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:27,852
I can show it to you.
79
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:30,980
Look!
80
00:04:31,064 --> 00:04:32,356
Look.
81
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:41,783
- Can the girl not stand up on her own?
- Who?
82
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:46,037
Herbert Jr.'s girlfriend, Baxter.
She's always hangin' all over him.
83
00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:52,085
Oh, hell no. It's a
schoolyard, and it's 3:30!
84
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,045
Hi!
85
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,714
Mom, I didn't know
you were still here.
86
00:04:56,798 --> 00:04:59,092
I'm here. And so are
all these other people.
87
00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,927
As well as the
scouts from Harvard.
88
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:04,138
- We're all here.
- Hi, Mrs. Wexley. I love your purse.
89
00:05:04,222 --> 00:05:06,432
Thank you, Baxter.
I love it, too.
90
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:09,227
Because it has a strap,
and my hand is free
91
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,021
to not hold it all
the time in public.
92
00:05:12,105 --> 00:05:13,398
Mommy!
93
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,985
Hi, baby. Seriously, it's 3:30.
94
00:05:36,546 --> 00:05:37,964
That was so good.
95
00:05:40,967 --> 00:05:42,844
Hey, I have a
question to ask you
96
00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:45,304
but I didn't wanna put
us off our cheeseburgers.
97
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:48,599
- What is it?
- Is Miranda ghosting me?
98
00:05:49,142 --> 00:05:53,187
- Define "ghosting."
- Okay. That's a big yes.
99
00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:55,732
Bummer. I thought we
ended pretty well.
100
00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:59,610
Well, she didn't say anything,
but that is kind of her M.O.
101
00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:02,280
You know, with her exes.
You know, if things don't...
102
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:06,909
Something doesn't work out for
her, she gets very introspective...
103
00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:08,745
Carrie, I really
appreciate the info,
104
00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:11,205
but I don't need to hear
a Ted Talk on Miranda.
105
00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:13,875
Okay, good, 'cause I really
don't wanna give one.
106
00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:15,793
No, I was asking
107
00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:18,046
because she left a box of
her shit at my apartment.
108
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:22,133
And I need to clear it
out to Airbnb it, so.
109
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,469
Wait, you're, you're Airbnb-ing?
110
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,138
Yeah, I have to. No
real cash comin' in.
111
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,392
Oh, my God. I
thought it was a rat.
112
00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:33,936
Hey! Hey, buddy.
113
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,063
Come here. Come here.
114
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:36,981
- Come on.
- Che, Che, Che, Che.
115
00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:39,901
Che, che, you can't go around
just touching random animals.
116
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:41,694
Yeah, it's okay.
I used to do this.
117
00:06:41,778 --> 00:06:42,945
- Used to do what?
- Hey.
118
00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:46,032
There you go, Mr. Sprinkles.
119
00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,118
Hey, there she is.
120
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,955
I thought I told your ass not to
bring me any more charity cases.
121
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:55,208
But this one is so cute!
122
00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:57,293
Look at her cute, little paws!
123
00:06:57,377 --> 00:06:59,480
You got some of your Hollywood
money to patch up what's wrong
124
00:06:59,504 --> 00:07:02,066
- with little miss cutie paws?
- Hollywood broke up with me, Judy.
125
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,257
I think you'll survive.
126
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,635
I was talkin' to
the dog, not you.
127
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,929
Let me have a look.
128
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,264
I found her three
blocks from here.
129
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,309
You picked the
wrong one, sweetie.
130
00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,937
Next time, you need to
limp your pathetic ass
131
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,397
through a better neighborhood.
132
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,775
"Awoof. Why couldn't a rich
white lady pick me up?"
133
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,196
"Instead of some busted,
broke-ass stand-up comic.
134
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,198
Awooo."
135
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,700
Thank you.
136
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,912
- You're the best.
- Shut up before I change my mind.
137
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:38,584
Hey, if you're really broke, I
never cleaned out your locker.
138
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,671
Not 'cause I'm sentimental,
'cause I'm lazy.
139
00:07:41,754 --> 00:07:43,131
Full-time? With benefits?
140
00:07:43,214 --> 00:07:46,884
Full-time, plus whatever it
costs to patch up this damn dog.
141
00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:49,429
Dr. Fisher and I could
use some extra hands.
142
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:53,599
And I can always use a laugh.
Know anyone who's funny?
143
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,393
No.
144
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:03,860
Oh, my God! Look at this place!
145
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,696
February also happens to
be Black History Month
146
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:09,615
but all we ever get are
two shelves and a table.
147
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:13,202
And there is it. Two
shelves, and the table.
148
00:08:13,286 --> 00:08:14,495
Yep.
149
00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:19,125
- Oh, my God.
- Am I a lesbian?
150
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,420
Is that a new children's book?
151
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,047
Seriously.
152
00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:28,342
I don't even know what
LGBTQIA dating sites to go on.
153
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:31,137
It's like a cruise
ship buffet of choices.
154
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:35,725
Lesbian, bisexual, cis
couples seeking bisexuals.
155
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:38,602
The only two categories I
can comfortably rule out
156
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:42,273
are Black People Meet
and GayDaddy.com.
157
00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:46,694
Well, as I tell my students
158
00:08:46,778 --> 00:08:49,030
- when they are doing their papers.
- Yeah.
159
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:54,202
Explore the topic, do the
research, cite the examples.
160
00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:58,456
- I only have one example.
- Okay, well, then you're gettin' an F.
161
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,667
You're right. I'm like one
of those floundering students
162
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,669
that doesn't even know
what major to declare.
163
00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:05,380
Yeah, well, I know
what I'm looking for.
164
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:07,965
And that's a souffle cookbook
that doesn't intimidate.
165
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:09,509
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
166
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:13,262
"He came towards her in
an agitated manner...
167
00:09:13,346 --> 00:09:15,765
"and thus began.
168
00:09:16,224 --> 00:09:19,227
"In vain have I struggled.
169
00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:21,562
"It will not do.
170
00:09:22,438 --> 00:09:25,691
"My feelings will
not be repressed.
171
00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:29,404
“You must allow me to
tell you how ardently
172
00:09:29,487 --> 00:09:32,907
"I admire and love you.
173
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,954
"Elizabeth's astonishment
was beyond expression.
174
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:44,001
She stared, colored,
doubted, and was silent."
175
00:09:48,381 --> 00:09:51,884
Excuse me, Amelia. I
love the way you read.
176
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:54,554
I listened to the entire
Jane Austen audiobook series
177
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:59,726
that you recorded, and I was
listening to you read just now inside.
178
00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:01,227
Yes, I noticed you.
179
00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:04,230
- You, you noticed me?
- Right away.
180
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,400
There's something so alluring
about a beautiful woman...
181
00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:10,069
not wearing a hat from
the Regency period.
182
00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:15,116
I'm a total "Austen-head," but
not to that hat-frenzy level.
183
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:19,912
Anyway, I, I used to
run listening to her,
184
00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:22,206
listening to you, reading her.
185
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:25,877
You ran to period prose
instead of say, Bruno Mars?
186
00:10:26,169 --> 00:10:30,923
The miles just flew by
and when I needed to push,
187
00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,300
you really got me going.
188
00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:36,179
I got ya going? I like
the sound of that.
189
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,890
So, you know my name.
190
00:10:39,474 --> 00:10:41,184
What's yours?
191
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:44,395
- I'm Miranda.
- Miranda.
192
00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:46,272
Prospero's daughter
in "The Tempest."
193
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:49,233
Yes, but in Brooklyn,
in the cold.
194
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,048
I don't know if what I'm
gonna say is appropriate,
195
00:10:54,072 --> 00:10:56,491
so forgive me if
it's not, but...
196
00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:58,201
Miranda,
197
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,537
you've really got
me going as well.
198
00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:03,247
It's appropriate.
199
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,668
So, I asked her out
for Thursday night,
200
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:09,962
but with that voice,
I almost jumped her
201
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,006
right then and there in
front of the bookstore.
202
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:14,759
- It is on!
- "It's on"?
203
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:18,012
Maybe you should
check the manual
204
00:11:18,096 --> 00:11:21,682
and make sure that that's
a lesbian-approved phrase.
205
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:26,646
Ya know, I've always been sort of turned
on by those Jane Austen audiobooks,
206
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:30,191
and I thought it was the words, but
maybe it was really Amelia Carsey.
207
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:33,111
No, seriously,
her name's Carsey?
208
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:35,988
Is Ms. Carsey your Mr. Darcy?
209
00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:41,202
God, I hope not! I don't
want years of torment,
210
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:43,955
I just want one
night of great sex.
211
00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:46,874
So, you have Great
Sexpectations?
212
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:51,212
I know that's Dickens, but I
can't pun "Mansfield Park."
213
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:54,757
Carrie, I was like
a whole new me.
214
00:11:54,841 --> 00:11:59,846
I saw her, I wanted her, I
went for it. And I got her!
215
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:05,309
So, now I know. Strong,
sexy, women are my thing.
216
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:06,769
I'm done with Dickens.
217
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:11,190
Look at us! We both have hot
dates for Valentine's Day!
218
00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:14,235
And we are 56 years old!
219
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:17,780
Lesbian Miranda's a lot.
220
00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:24,954
You're asleep?
221
00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:27,373
Well, not anymore.
222
00:12:27,457 --> 00:12:29,125
Honey, it's 4:30!
223
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:30,668
Don't nap-shame me.
224
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:33,171
I just needed to close my
eyes for a few minutes.
225
00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:37,341
Okay, well, please go
on OpenTable right now
226
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,886
and find us a place to have
dinner on Valentine's Day.
227
00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:41,888
That's the worst
night of the year.
228
00:12:41,971 --> 00:12:43,681
What a lovely sentiment.
229
00:12:43,765 --> 00:12:45,349
You know what I mean.
230
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:48,269
They gouge you with those
Valentine's night prices.
231
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:51,773
Two years ago, we dropped 500
bucks on a steak, wine, and mousse,
232
00:12:51,856 --> 00:12:53,107
and we vowed "never again."
233
00:12:53,191 --> 00:12:56,319
Well, Lily is having an
"F the boys" dinner party,
234
00:12:56,402 --> 00:12:59,572
and told me that we can't
be here, so start looking.
235
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,325
Sounds like an "F the
parents" dinner party to me.
236
00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:06,162
Blake broke up with her two
weeks before Valentine's Day.
237
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:09,248
So if she wants to
have an "F the boys"
238
00:13:09,332 --> 00:13:12,043
girls night with the
cool girls from school,
239
00:13:12,126 --> 00:13:13,669
then I'm like, "F us."
240
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:16,881
Since when do you care so much about
her and the cool girls from school?
241
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,842
Since those mean seniors made
fun of her original music.
242
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:23,471
I saw that one comin'. A song
called "The Power of Privilege"
243
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,765
practically has a "kick
me" sign on its back.
244
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,977
Every place is booked.
245
00:13:30,603 --> 00:13:33,689
Wait, wait, wait. I see a
5:30 at Gotham downtown.
246
00:13:33,773 --> 00:13:35,358
Oh, no, that's too early.
247
00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:37,693
I've gotta take Rock on
all those agency meetings.
248
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:41,030
- Keep looking.
- I think we should take that 5:30.
249
00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:42,740
Every place is
gonna be the same.
250
00:13:42,824 --> 00:13:44,784
Okay, I'll make it work.
251
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:52,708
Well, I just got us a table at
Monkey Bar on Thursday night.
252
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:53,835
No!
253
00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:55,158
- Yes.
- They're totally booked.
254
00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:57,088
How much money did you
have to throw around?
255
00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:00,299
Let's just say that Henry is
no longer goin' to college
256
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:02,885
and neither is Gabby.
257
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,430
Mom and Dad, good news.
258
00:14:05,513 --> 00:14:07,765
Whatever it is, we got no cash.
259
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:09,434
No, but listen, all right?
260
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,185
Baxter's mom and
dad got us a suite
261
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:14,313
at the Mandarin Oriental
for Valentine's Day.
262
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:16,274
- No, they didn't.
- Yeah, Mom, they did.
263
00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:17,876
Here, let me show you
the text Baxter sent.
264
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,086
No, I don't think
you understand.
265
00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:23,489
I said, "No, they did not,"
because you are not going.
266
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:24,907
We can't even talk about it?
267
00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:27,243
We just did. That's
not happenin'.
268
00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:32,457
- You embarrassed me at school, Mom.
- No,
269
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:33,916
you embarrassed yourself.
270
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,920
No, Dad, she totally called me out in
front of Baxter and, like, everyone.
271
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:40,131
Your son's girlfriend
practically had her hand
272
00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:42,884
down his pants in public!
273
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,403
Is it too late for
me not to be here?
274
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,012
No, her hand was
on my belt, Mom.
275
00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:47,722
- Why are you so uptight?
- Hey.
276
00:14:47,805 --> 00:14:50,141
Seriously, why can't
we go to the Mandarin?
277
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,143
Now we have nowhere to
hang for Valentine's Day!
278
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:55,229
Why don't you hang here? You'll
have the place to yourselves.
279
00:14:55,313 --> 00:14:56,540
Your mother and I
are goin' to dinner
280
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:58,608
and your brother and
sister have sleepovers.
281
00:14:58,691 --> 00:14:59,859
Fine.
282
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:03,488
No, call him back.
283
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:07,033
Because you forgot to tell him that
it was okay to fuck in our bed.
284
00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:10,578
'Cause that's happening.
This girl has no boundaries.
285
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,914
They are not gonna
have sex in our bed.
286
00:15:12,997 --> 00:15:15,374
His? Definitely. But not ours.
287
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,378
And this is not about me being
uptight about him having sex.
288
00:15:18,461 --> 00:15:20,546
I was totally fine with
his last girlfriend.
289
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,632
It's just this one.
290
00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:25,051
She acts like he's her
property or something.
291
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:28,554
Well, he is not her property
and he's not your property.
292
00:15:29,389 --> 00:15:30,390
Right?
293
00:15:34,894 --> 00:15:38,231
Okay, well, I'm gonna
take that as a "yes."
294
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:44,404
Drew Barrymore is tomorrow
and I don't have a Hotfella.
295
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:45,780
Wait, I'm confused.
296
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:48,032
Don't you have Hotfellas
that didn't walk out?
297
00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:51,035
Yeah, but they're all porn-star
hot, not morning-mom hot.
298
00:15:51,119 --> 00:15:53,162
What is morning-mom hot?
299
00:15:53,246 --> 00:15:56,666
Look, the show's audience is
moms folding laundry at home.
300
00:15:56,749 --> 00:16:00,253
They need romance, fantasy. It's
more "kiss me" than "fist me."
301
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,964
Anthony, I am in a card store!
302
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:05,717
I can't go on the show
alone. They want a Hotfella
303
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,635
wearing the Hotfellas uniform.
304
00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:09,762
I am so screwed.
305
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,515
Maybe not.
306
00:16:17,937 --> 00:16:21,941
I just sent you a picture of someone
here who might be able to do it.
307
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,402
What? You found Romeo
in a card store?
308
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:30,158
You found fuckin'
Romeo in a card store!
309
00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:33,661
Oh, my God! He's
gorgeous! Char, Char!
310
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:36,873
You have to make this happen.
Tell him I'll pay anything.
311
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,958
Listen, I don't think we're
gonna have to go that far
312
00:16:40,043 --> 00:16:44,130
because he is selling poems
in a card store for a dollar.
313
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,257
For a sweet woman,
you're rough sometimes.
314
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,342
Good luck. Call me back.
315
00:16:48,426 --> 00:16:49,510
Okay.
316
00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:57,060
Buongiorno. Would
you like a love poem?
317
00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:59,228
Is that a real Italian accent?
318
00:16:59,729 --> 00:17:01,481
Yes. Why would it not be real?
319
00:17:01,564 --> 00:17:06,151
Oh, I just thought that you were an
actor just doing an accent for the job.
320
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:08,487
No, I'm not an
actor. I'm a poet.
321
00:17:08,571 --> 00:17:11,574
So, a dollar a poem?
322
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:17,330
What if I pay you $300, but you
don't have to write 300 poems.
323
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,665
I would want you to do
something else for that money.
324
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:24,337
Oh, no, no. Oh, no,
no. Nothing like that.
325
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,381
Nothing like that. No,
no. I'm married with kids.
326
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:30,468
So was the woman who wanted to buy
me a cashmere sweater this morning.
327
00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:33,763
- When are you gonna be on?
- Next.
328
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:35,056
I'm so excited, too.
329
00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:36,825
The stage manager lady
just came over and said
330
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,309
we'd be on the next segment.
331
00:17:38,393 --> 00:17:41,521
Giuseppe’s puttin' on the uniform
now. He is perfect for Drew.
332
00:17:41,604 --> 00:17:44,440
He's sweet, sexy,
nothing in your face.
333
00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:51,948
It's okay?
334
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:55,159
Anthony? Anthony, are you there?
335
00:17:55,243 --> 00:17:57,245
Yeah, it's okay.
336
00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:00,873
Alright, and we're back,
ladies and gentlemen,
337
00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:05,503
with Anthony Marantino of Hotfellas
Bakery right here in New York City.
338
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:08,256
Now, your bread is so delicious,
339
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,383
but where did you come
up with the fun name?
340
00:18:10,466 --> 00:18:12,969
Well, Drew, who doesn't love a
Hotfella delivering hot bread?
341
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:16,681
No one. And, actually,
Anthony brought
342
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,559
one of his Hotfella
delivery men here, right?
343
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:20,994
- We've got Giuseppe?
- Yes, we do.
344
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:22,353
Well, should we invite him out?
345
00:18:23,938 --> 00:18:26,190
Without further ado,
please welcome Hotfella
346
00:18:26,274 --> 00:18:27,859
Giuseppe!
347
00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:36,409
Oh, my God. That
is a big basket.
348
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:37,952
It has all my bread selections.
349
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,079
- Big basket.
- Big basket!
350
00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:43,624
- Giuseppe.
- He's adorable, isn't he?
351
00:18:44,751 --> 00:18:48,588
And, much like our audience,
352
00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:52,050
who started with a sourdough
353
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,553
- starter in the pandemic, so did you.
- Yes, I did,
354
00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:58,097
but it got outta that Tupperware
and it just kept on growing.
355
00:18:58,181 --> 00:19:00,475
Well, how big do you
think it's gonna get?
356
00:19:00,558 --> 00:19:03,811
Honestly, I don't know. I'm
surprised it's this big.
357
00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:05,605
I think it's gonna be huge.
358
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:11,194
We're a hit! Hotfellas'
Instagram is blowing up!
359
00:19:11,277 --> 00:19:13,905
"Hot," "Hot," "Hawt."
360
00:19:14,322 --> 00:19:15,573
"Is he gluten-free?"
361
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:18,910
- That's cute.
- Here is your uniform. Ciao.
362
00:19:18,993 --> 00:19:21,579
Wait, what do you mean "ciao"?
363
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,998
I just got your Venmo, so, ciao.
364
00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:26,709
In the last hour, I
got 100 bread orders,
365
00:19:26,793 --> 00:19:28,961
and they're all expecting
someone "hot, hot, hawt"
366
00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:31,005
- to deliver them.
- It's New York.
367
00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:33,049
There are plenty of
hot, hot, hawt guys.
368
00:19:33,132 --> 00:19:35,718
Not like you. I'll pay
you whatever you want.
369
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:38,596
I'm not a prostitute.
I'm a poet.
370
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:41,516
And I'm a convict! In jail
for false advertising.
371
00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:44,644
Giuseppe, please. For a week.
372
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:47,772
Just until I get on the other
side of this Valentine's Day bump.
373
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,399
Then you can go
poet your ass off.
374
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:52,322
Roses are red, violets are blue, if
you don't say yes, I'll kill myself.
375
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,570
- That doesn't even rhyme.
- Well
376
00:19:55,196 --> 00:19:56,364
you're the poet.
377
00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:58,783
- One week.
- Thank you.
378
00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,701
Is he here? Is he still here?
379
00:20:01,452 --> 00:20:04,914
Ah, man, I'm too late.
He already changed.
380
00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:06,666
Oh well.
381
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:10,628
Oh, hey, I'm not really eating
carbs, but I liked your bread.
382
00:20:10,712 --> 00:20:11,921
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
383
00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:14,340
You know, it's also
good in a wool pant.
384
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:20,596
I've been, like, floating around,
so looking forward to this dinner,
385
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,890
and then the minute he sent
the time and the place,
386
00:20:22,974 --> 00:20:24,684
suddenly, I'm very nervous.
387
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,894
Well, I'm glad you called.
388
00:20:26,978 --> 00:20:29,147
An emergency massage is
precisely what my drawer
389
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:31,607
full of spa gifts are made for.
390
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:33,836
I don't know. What if he's
different? What if I'm different?
391
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,445
I've had, like, a
whole life, you know?
392
00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:38,281
What if it's too much time?
393
00:20:38,364 --> 00:20:40,700
We haven't laid eyes on
each other in 13 years.
394
00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:44,704
- Thirteen years.
- No worries there. You look amazing.
395
00:20:44,787 --> 00:20:47,874
The big question is, how do
you think he's going to look?
396
00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:50,710
Case in point, when I dated
this man many years ago,
397
00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:52,670
he was a total John Kennedy.
398
00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:55,006
Bumped into him
recently, late-stage Ted.
399
00:20:55,673 --> 00:20:57,800
Hello, welcome.
How can I help you?
400
00:20:57,884 --> 00:21:01,596
I made an appointment for
massages. Seema Patel, 2:30.
401
00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:04,515
Wonderful. One couple's massage.
402
00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:06,601
Oh, no, sorry.
We're not a couple.
403
00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:10,063
Sorry. It, it says "two."
404
00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:12,565
Yes. Two people.
Separate massages.
405
00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:14,734
There's been a misunderstanding.
406
00:21:14,817 --> 00:21:16,819
We're only doing
couples massages today
407
00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:19,072
- because of the holiday.
- What holiday?
408
00:21:19,155 --> 00:21:21,035
- Valentine's Day.
- And I repeat: what holiday?
409
00:21:21,074 --> 00:21:24,744
Last I looked, it was Thursday. Banks
are open, mail's being delivered.
410
00:21:24,827 --> 00:21:29,123
Well, it's just something nice we
do on this day to celebrate couples.
411
00:21:29,207 --> 00:21:31,918
Why? Mm, aren't they
celebrated enough?
412
00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:34,045
- Seema, I don't need a massage.
- You do.
413
00:21:34,128 --> 00:21:36,047
- She does.
- I have a solution.
414
00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:37,370
Can you pretend to be a couple?
415
00:21:37,423 --> 00:21:40,176
I can't. I'm too busy
pretending not to be outraged.
416
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:41,886
We are fully booked.
417
00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,609
How can you be fully booked? I just
called, and made a reservation.
418
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,015
Yes, for two.
419
00:21:46,099 --> 00:21:50,478
And all of our massage spaces
today are booked for two tables.
420
00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:52,897
So, where on this very
expensive gift card
421
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,858
does it list the blackout
dates for fake holidays?
422
00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:59,904
It's just our policy, for today.
423
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:04,409
Understood. So, do you have a date
set aside where you ban couples?
424
00:22:04,492 --> 00:22:06,494
No, because single
people have rights, too.
425
00:22:06,577 --> 00:22:09,622
Seema, honestly, let's just, let's
just go grab a glass of wine.
426
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:11,541
I'm already too tense.
427
00:22:11,624 --> 00:22:16,337
I really can't handle a
February 14th spa insurrection.
428
00:22:16,421 --> 00:22:17,922
I'm taking this to Yelp.
429
00:22:18,715 --> 00:22:20,258
- Let's go.
- Okay.
430
00:22:20,341 --> 00:22:21,342
Sorry.
431
00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:23,219
Have a seat.
432
00:22:28,891 --> 00:22:32,228
It is 1:40. Our appointment
was for one o'clock.
433
00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,273
- This is disrespectful.
- They'll get to us.
434
00:22:35,356 --> 00:22:38,317
But when? I took you out
of science lab for this.
435
00:22:38,401 --> 00:22:41,112
Who do they think they are?
We're not even in Manhattan.
436
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,114
Yeah, this is the cool agency.
437
00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:46,451
Well, it is not cool to keep
us waiting over half an hour.
438
00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:49,120
- I'm gonna say something.
- You already did.
439
00:22:52,039 --> 00:22:55,960
Hi again. We need
to be seen now.
440
00:22:57,587 --> 00:22:59,589
They are before you.
441
00:22:59,881 --> 00:23:04,052
Well, are they on charging
stations all over the city?
442
00:23:04,135 --> 00:23:06,846
Are they in a Ralph
Lauren campaign?
443
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:07,805
Mom!
444
00:23:10,016 --> 00:23:11,726
We cannot wait any longer.
445
00:23:11,809 --> 00:23:14,312
Rock has other
appointments today
446
00:23:14,395 --> 00:23:18,399
at IMG and Elite in Manhattan.
447
00:23:23,404 --> 00:23:26,032
We're gonna go. Come on! Come!
448
00:23:26,866 --> 00:23:28,910
Well, I really like the
women at Elite, too,
449
00:23:28,993 --> 00:23:34,123
but since both big agencies want
us, we just have a decision to make.
450
00:23:34,207 --> 00:23:37,335
- I made a decision.
- Oh, really? Which one, Elite or IMG?
451
00:23:37,418 --> 00:23:39,420
Neither. I don't
wanna do this anymore.
452
00:23:39,504 --> 00:23:40,922
Wait, what?
453
00:23:41,422 --> 00:23:44,258
It's not fun, and you
were kinda gross today.
454
00:23:44,342 --> 00:23:45,968
Real "Dance Mom" vibes.
455
00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:47,804
I think I was hypoglycemic.
456
00:23:47,887 --> 00:23:50,431
You said I could stop
modeling if I wanted to stop.
457
00:23:50,515 --> 00:23:51,682
I wanna stop.
458
00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:54,977
But what about all the time and
the effort that we put into it?
459
00:23:55,061 --> 00:23:57,563
And what about your 3,000
Instagram followers?
460
00:23:57,647 --> 00:24:00,650
I have nothing to do
with that. You do.
461
00:24:00,733 --> 00:24:03,611
And now you can devote more
time with your other client.
462
00:24:03,694 --> 00:24:04,862
What other client?
463
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:07,073
That one.
464
00:24:14,122 --> 00:24:17,250
Lily! That music
is a little loud!
465
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:21,170
Mom! Go! You're
ruining the mood.
466
00:24:21,254 --> 00:24:23,673
- I just got home.
- You said you wouldn't be here.
467
00:24:23,756 --> 00:24:27,176
Fine, fine. But look, I got you
girls a Valentine's Day cake.
468
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:30,596
We don't need it. Kara made brownies,
and there's way too many as it is.
469
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,306
Now, please go!
470
00:24:36,477 --> 00:24:39,147
Mom! Go!
471
00:24:40,398 --> 00:24:42,608
Harry, we've gotta go!
472
00:24:43,109 --> 00:24:47,071
And the more I think about
them, the madder I get.
473
00:24:48,531 --> 00:24:50,700
I didn't even take
time for lunch today
474
00:24:50,783 --> 00:24:53,661
because I was so busy running around
to all of Rock's appointments,
475
00:24:53,745 --> 00:24:57,039
and getting that surprise
special cake for Lily,
476
00:24:57,123 --> 00:25:01,669
which then she basically spat on before
she kicked me out of my own home.
477
00:25:01,753 --> 00:25:04,547
It's 5:45. How can seating
be backed up already?
478
00:25:04,630 --> 00:25:07,967
And you don't wanna
be a model, fine!
479
00:25:08,051 --> 00:25:12,805
Just do me a favor and tell me before
I make the effort of getting you
480
00:25:12,889 --> 00:25:15,683
a blue checkmark on
fucking Instagram!
481
00:25:15,767 --> 00:25:19,729
Honey, you gotta calm down. Gonna
give yourself a heart attack.
482
00:25:21,230 --> 00:25:24,567
Harry. Harry. I feel like
something's really wrong.
483
00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:27,421
You mean besides the fact that the
hostess won't make eye contact with me?
484
00:25:27,445 --> 00:25:28,362
Okay, we'll text you.
485
00:25:28,446 --> 00:25:31,866
Maybe I'm having low blood sugar,
but I suddenly feel really weird.
486
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:33,451
Weird, weird how?
487
00:25:33,534 --> 00:25:36,746
Like, tingling in my
face, and... Whoa.
488
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,043
- I can feel my blood.
- What, what?
489
00:25:42,126 --> 00:25:43,920
What do you mean you
can feel your blood?
490
00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:46,005
And my mouth feels really weird.
491
00:25:46,381 --> 00:25:47,924
Am I slurring my words?
492
00:25:48,007 --> 00:25:51,010
- What, like a stroke?
- Oh, my God!
493
00:25:51,344 --> 00:25:53,930
- Am I having a stroke?
- Okay, okay, okay.
494
00:25:54,013 --> 00:25:57,016
Here we go. Here
we go. Excuse me?
495
00:25:57,100 --> 00:25:58,476
Sir, I already told you,
496
00:25:58,559 --> 00:26:00,812
- I'm doing the best...
- My wife is having a stroke.
497
00:26:00,895 --> 00:26:04,482
- Do you really think that's gonna work?
- Call a fucking ambulance!
498
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:08,111
She said her face was tingling.
She said she could feel her blood.
499
00:26:08,194 --> 00:26:10,738
- I could! I could!
- That can't be good, right?
500
00:26:10,822 --> 00:26:12,907
Oh, boy. Okay, I'm
coming, I'm coming.
501
00:26:12,990 --> 00:26:14,409
Sir, you can't ride in the back.
502
00:26:14,492 --> 00:26:17,203
- This is the love of my life!
- You'll be fine up front.
503
00:26:17,286 --> 00:26:19,497
- I love you so much, Harry!
- I love you, too, baby!
504
00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:21,082
Don't you leave me now!
505
00:26:21,165 --> 00:26:24,836
If I die, please let Carrie
pick out what I'm buried in!
506
00:26:24,919 --> 00:26:26,337
Is she gonna die?
507
00:26:27,630 --> 00:26:28,631
I don't think so.
508
00:26:30,633 --> 00:26:33,594
Babe, what are you doing?
509
00:26:34,095 --> 00:26:36,013
I'm booby-trapping our bed.
510
00:26:37,181 --> 00:26:40,101
Because if these pillows are
different when we get home,
511
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:42,603
I'll know they were here
and I'll have proof.
512
00:26:42,687 --> 00:26:43,813
Proof of what?
513
00:26:44,731 --> 00:26:45,982
That I am not uptight
514
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:49,193
and that Baxter has some
serious boundary issues.
515
00:26:49,277 --> 00:26:51,821
Okay, Lis, you do you,
but that's not so much
516
00:26:51,904 --> 00:26:54,532
a booby trap as it
is a booty trap.
517
00:26:54,907 --> 00:26:56,534
Exactly.
518
00:27:08,796 --> 00:27:10,465
Look at you.
519
00:27:10,548 --> 00:27:14,302
I see someone has finally
declared a major in "hot mama."
520
00:27:14,385 --> 00:27:17,680
My lady just texted me to not
meet her at the restaurant,
521
00:27:17,764 --> 00:27:20,058
but to come to her place
for dinner instead.
522
00:27:20,141 --> 00:27:21,392
Are you okay with that?
523
00:27:21,976 --> 00:27:27,273
Oh, my God, yes!
It's so refreshing.
524
00:27:27,356 --> 00:27:31,069
And, dare I say,
quite scandalous.
525
00:27:32,361 --> 00:27:35,907
Okay, well, I'm outta here.
526
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:37,575
You sure you're gonna
be okay tonight?
527
00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:42,080
Me? Oh, so okay. Me and
chocolate, a match made in heaven.
528
00:27:42,789 --> 00:27:44,415
You go get your A-plus in
529
00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:48,086
"Queer Sexuality and
19th Century Literature."
530
00:27:50,380 --> 00:27:51,381
Tally-ho.
531
00:28:14,529 --> 00:28:15,947
- Hi.
- Buongiorno.
532
00:28:16,948 --> 00:28:21,494
A reservation for Aidan Shaw. It's
a party of two, eight o'clock.
533
00:28:21,577 --> 00:28:24,789
Yes, sure. Come, come.
534
00:28:26,249 --> 00:28:27,208
This way.
535
00:28:37,468 --> 00:28:38,678
Here we go.
536
00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:42,348
Oh, okay.
537
00:28:48,312 --> 00:28:49,939
Thank you.
538
00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:08,624
There will be,
there'll be two of us.
539
00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,172
Thank you.
540
00:29:20,261 --> 00:29:21,512
So
541
00:29:22,764 --> 00:29:25,016
- Ya didn't have a stroke.
- Thank God.
542
00:29:25,099 --> 00:29:28,061
You do have a pretty significant
amount of THC in your bloodstream.
543
00:29:28,144 --> 00:29:30,354
- What?
- I see it more and more.
544
00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:31,874
People in your age group
haven't quite learned
545
00:29:31,898 --> 00:29:34,734
how to navigate the
power of a gummy.
546
00:29:34,817 --> 00:29:38,112
She doesn't do gummies. She
won't even take a Tylenol PM.
547
00:29:38,196 --> 00:29:39,906
Ya gotta run some more tests.
548
00:29:39,989 --> 00:29:43,284
I know for a fact
my wife is not high.
549
00:29:43,367 --> 00:29:45,369
Wait, wait, Harry.
550
00:29:45,870 --> 00:29:47,288
I might be.
551
00:29:47,371 --> 00:29:49,916
Before dinner, I ate
a homemade brownie
552
00:29:49,999 --> 00:29:52,251
that one of Lily's new
friends brought over.
553
00:29:52,335 --> 00:29:55,505
Oh, yeah, "space
cake." Mystery solved.
554
00:29:55,588 --> 00:29:59,384
Okay, finish these fluids. I'll
fill out the discharge orders,
555
00:29:59,467 --> 00:30:01,302
and you can go home
and sleep it off.
556
00:30:01,386 --> 00:30:03,596
- Thanks, Doctor.
- Yeah, take care.
557
00:30:04,263 --> 00:30:07,934
Well, least you're not dyin'.
558
00:30:08,017 --> 00:30:11,020
I'm gonna kill our oldest,
but at least you're not dyin'.
559
00:30:11,312 --> 00:30:12,522
Honey,
560
00:30:13,523 --> 00:30:18,361
when I was in that ambulance,
my life flashed in front of me,
561
00:30:18,444 --> 00:30:20,363
and I didn't like what I saw.
562
00:30:21,114 --> 00:30:24,992
I'm a "mom-ager" for
Rock, a maid for Lily,
563
00:30:25,076 --> 00:30:28,037
and a pimp for Anthony?
564
00:30:28,121 --> 00:30:29,539
What happened?
565
00:30:29,622 --> 00:30:33,042
- Where am I in all this?
- Honey,
566
00:30:33,126 --> 00:30:35,545
- you're here.
- No.
567
00:30:36,462 --> 00:30:38,005
No, I'm not.
568
00:30:38,089 --> 00:30:39,674
I am gonna call Mark Kassabian,
569
00:30:39,757 --> 00:30:42,510
and I'm gonna ask him if
the job that he offered me
570
00:30:42,593 --> 00:30:45,012
at the gallery is
still available.
571
00:30:45,346 --> 00:30:47,974
I have got to get back to me.
572
00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:51,185
And it's not just
the pot talking.
573
00:30:51,561 --> 00:30:52,770
Okay?
574
00:30:54,522 --> 00:30:55,732
Okay.
575
00:31:01,404 --> 00:31:03,114
Oh, my God.
576
00:31:03,197 --> 00:31:04,365
What?
577
00:31:09,454 --> 00:31:11,956
Excuse me? Excuse me? Sorry.
578
00:31:12,039 --> 00:31:14,333
I hate to be this person,
579
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:18,755
- but my phone just died, and...
- Same as mine.
580
00:31:18,838 --> 00:31:19,839
Here.
581
00:31:24,802 --> 00:31:25,720
Here.
582
00:31:30,099 --> 00:31:32,727
Thank you so much. I'm
waiting for someone,
583
00:31:32,810 --> 00:31:36,981
and he's running a
little late, and I ju...
584
00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:40,359
Just make sure he's on his way.
585
00:31:47,033 --> 00:31:48,242
'Scuse me.
586
00:31:50,495 --> 00:31:51,496
Thanks.
587
00:32:04,133 --> 00:32:05,718
Delicious.
588
00:32:41,796 --> 00:32:42,839
- Hi.
- Hi.
589
00:32:42,922 --> 00:32:44,465
Hi, come on in.
590
00:32:44,549 --> 00:32:47,301
Thank you so much for
the change of plans.
591
00:32:48,052 --> 00:32:50,596
I ran behind doing a
series of drops for PBS
592
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,515
and I just needed all
the time I could get.
593
00:32:52,598 --> 00:32:54,267
Oh, you record right here?
594
00:32:54,350 --> 00:32:56,310
Yeah. I mean, it started
during the pandemic...
595
00:32:59,021 --> 00:33:00,273
Oh, I'm sorry. You know what?
596
00:33:00,356 --> 00:33:04,110
That is usually in the shower,
but Pickles is hiding in there.
597
00:33:04,193 --> 00:33:05,987
She does not like people.
598
00:33:06,654 --> 00:33:09,699
But no worries, no worries.
I'll you know what?
599
00:33:09,782 --> 00:33:11,993
No worries. I'll just...
I'll clean it up later.
600
00:33:15,413 --> 00:33:18,624
- Can I take your coat?
- Sure. Thanks.
601
00:33:22,754 --> 00:33:23,880
Miranda.
602
00:33:25,131 --> 00:33:27,300
To quote Mrs.
Bennet in "P and P":
603
00:33:28,718 --> 00:33:31,429
"How can you be so teasing?"
604
00:33:39,103 --> 00:33:40,104
Oh, I think I just...
605
00:33:40,980 --> 00:33:43,191
- What?
- Yeah, I just stepped in cat poo.
606
00:33:47,945 --> 00:33:50,114
Oh, fuck. Fuck me!
607
00:33:51,616 --> 00:33:54,327
I left the sheets
in the laundry room.
608
00:33:54,994 --> 00:33:56,722
You know what? I'm just
gonna run down and get 'em.
609
00:33:56,746 --> 00:34:00,958
Listen. There are menus.
610
00:34:01,542 --> 00:34:03,252
Just choose whatever you want
611
00:34:03,336 --> 00:34:06,798
and we'll do Grubhub
either before or after.
612
00:34:06,881 --> 00:34:08,298
So, whatever you want.
613
00:34:09,550 --> 00:34:10,802
You know what? Do you,
614
00:34:11,969 --> 00:34:14,806
do you have any
quarters, just in case?
615
00:34:14,889 --> 00:34:16,325
'Cause, you know, flannel
sheets always take longer.
616
00:34:16,349 --> 00:34:19,018
- I'm fresh out.
- I...
617
00:34:19,811 --> 00:34:21,436
I don't think that I do.
618
00:34:22,563 --> 00:34:25,691
It's fine. You know what? I'll just
go to the bodega on the corner.
619
00:34:25,775 --> 00:34:26,776
It's no biggie.
620
00:34:28,111 --> 00:34:30,028
Just, yeah.
621
00:34:30,530 --> 00:34:32,907
Make yourself comfortable.
I'll see ya soon.
622
00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:53,094
All quiet on the pillow front?
623
00:34:54,387 --> 00:34:56,389
Maybe she cracked my code.
624
00:34:56,847 --> 00:34:59,934
Baby, admit it. The only
boundary issues that girl has
625
00:35:00,017 --> 00:35:02,019
are sexual ones, and
that bothers you.
626
00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:07,316
Hi, Mrs. Wexley. I just
wanted to get a pic
627
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:08,711
with this awesome
purse for my Insta.
628
00:35:08,735 --> 00:35:09,736
Hope it's okay.
629
00:35:10,903 --> 00:35:14,866
No, Baxter, it is not okay.
630
00:35:14,949 --> 00:35:18,703
That is my property.
This is my space.
631
00:35:18,786 --> 00:35:22,498
- So, please go.
- Mom.
632
00:35:25,918 --> 00:35:27,295
Dad, say something.
633
00:35:29,297 --> 00:35:30,506
Come on.
634
00:35:31,007 --> 00:35:32,425
- M'kay.
- Baby.
635
00:35:33,676 --> 00:35:36,888
You are on your own, boy.
636
00:35:36,971 --> 00:35:40,933
You know, sex is one thing,
but your mother's closet?
637
00:35:41,017 --> 00:35:43,102
Have you lost your mind?
638
00:35:43,603 --> 00:35:45,897
Aidan's 30 minutes late.
639
00:35:45,980 --> 00:35:47,899
He wouldn't stand
me up, would he?
640
00:35:47,982 --> 00:35:51,736
No, Aidan's a good
guy. Did ya call him?
641
00:35:51,819 --> 00:35:53,613
The number I have
isn't good anymore.
642
00:35:54,322 --> 00:35:56,032
I don't know. Maybe
he got cold feet.
643
00:35:56,115 --> 00:35:58,826
It's understandable. I thought
about staying home, too.
644
00:36:00,036 --> 00:36:01,412
I wish I'd had that thought.
645
00:36:01,496 --> 00:36:04,582
Oh, my God! I totally
forgot you're on your,
646
00:36:04,665 --> 00:36:08,169
you're on your hot date with Ms.
Darcey. Go, go. I'm sorry. Go.
647
00:36:08,252 --> 00:36:11,381
She isn't here.
Neither is Jane Austen.
648
00:36:11,464 --> 00:36:15,093
Unless Miss Austen forgot
to clean her litter box.
649
00:36:15,176 --> 00:36:19,097
Amelia is off getting quarters
to dry her flannel sheets.
650
00:36:19,180 --> 00:36:20,848
And I really need to pee,
651
00:36:20,932 --> 00:36:24,185
but her freak of a cat attacked
me when I went in the bathroom.
652
00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:27,688
Carrie, I may be different,
but dating isn't.
653
00:36:27,939 --> 00:36:31,484
It's still a shit
show. A cat shit show.
654
00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:32,944
Well, do you have to stay?
655
00:36:33,277 --> 00:36:34,278
What?
656
00:36:34,862 --> 00:36:36,572
Do you have to stay?
657
00:36:37,031 --> 00:36:38,449
Ya know what?
658
00:36:39,075 --> 00:36:40,410
I don't.
659
00:36:41,035 --> 00:36:44,122
35-year-old straight
Miranda would stay,
660
00:36:44,205 --> 00:36:47,667
but 56-year-old lesbian
Miranda wouldn't.
661
00:36:48,793 --> 00:36:51,295
I'll tell her I'm
allergic to cats!
662
00:36:51,379 --> 00:36:54,924
- Yeah, and dating.
- I better go.
663
00:36:55,007 --> 00:36:57,260
I don't wanna run into
her on the stairs.
664
00:36:57,343 --> 00:36:58,720
Should I leave, too?
665
00:36:59,053 --> 00:37:00,179
Wait.
666
00:37:01,222 --> 00:37:04,308
- It's a text from him.
- See? Good guy.
667
00:37:04,392 --> 00:37:06,811
- Have fun.
- Bye. Bye.
668
00:37:09,021 --> 00:37:10,857
"I'm here... where are you?"
669
00:37:15,236 --> 00:37:16,237
Well...
670
00:37:16,863 --> 00:37:20,867
"I'm here. Where are you?"
671
00:37:24,370 --> 00:37:25,288
"Re..."
672
00:37:25,955 --> 00:37:27,582
"Red booth"?
673
00:37:34,630 --> 00:37:40,011
Excuse me, excuse me, is,
is this 60 West 55th Street?
674
00:37:40,094 --> 00:37:41,554
Next door.
675
00:37:42,972 --> 00:37:44,974
Okay. Thank you.
676
00:38:07,205 --> 00:38:09,207
What are the chances
677
00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:12,460
this would ever happen?
678
00:38:32,271 --> 00:38:33,272
Hi.
679
00:38:39,946 --> 00:38:42,573
How do you look
exactly the same?
680
00:38:45,076 --> 00:38:49,622
I lost 40 pounds since
I emailed you last week.
681
00:38:59,382 --> 00:39:01,092
I was sorry to hear about John.
682
00:39:01,175 --> 00:39:04,262
I wanted to write you, but
I didn't know if I should.
683
00:39:04,887 --> 00:39:07,724
But I was thinkin'
about you. Thank you.
684
00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:11,185
I read your book about it.
685
00:39:11,561 --> 00:39:15,773
And it was sad and
it was beautiful.
686
00:39:16,858 --> 00:39:19,485
Well, it was sad
687
00:39:20,903 --> 00:39:22,530
not beautiful.
688
00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:27,744
But, time, you know?
689
00:39:28,411 --> 00:39:29,829
I'm better.
690
00:39:30,580 --> 00:39:34,167
Yeah, well, I'm very
glad to hear that.
691
00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:40,840
Anyone new in your life? I couldn't
find that information online.
692
00:39:43,718 --> 00:39:45,928
No. No, no one new.
693
00:39:46,429 --> 00:39:48,389
- You?
- Nope.
694
00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,224
That's why I gained
those 40 pounds.
695
00:39:51,434 --> 00:39:54,854
Man, sittin' here with you.
It's like 10 years just...
696
00:39:56,898 --> 00:39:58,441
I thought maybe you stood me up.
697
00:39:58,524 --> 00:40:00,860
- I thought you stood me up.
- No.
698
00:40:02,445 --> 00:40:03,780
We're on the same page.
699
00:40:03,863 --> 00:40:05,490
We're on the same page.
700
00:40:16,459 --> 00:40:18,294
I got a bottle opener.
701
00:40:18,753 --> 00:40:19,962
Okay.
702
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:24,008
- I know how to slap 'em off.
- I know you do.
703
00:40:26,594 --> 00:40:28,012
Hey, you...
704
00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:32,183
- You still live here?
- Yeah, I moved back.
705
00:40:32,809 --> 00:40:35,812
It's a story. Come on up.
706
00:40:36,687 --> 00:40:41,234
When you said "Go back to your place,"
I just thought ya had a different place.
707
00:40:45,238 --> 00:40:47,240
What's happening now?
708
00:40:50,827 --> 00:40:56,707
At the restaurant, I just thought
how great, this feels really great.
709
00:40:57,750 --> 00:40:59,752
We're back where we started.
710
00:41:01,379 --> 00:41:03,673
But this is where we ended
711
00:41:03,756 --> 00:41:06,801
with the fuckin' wall I
couldn't break through,
712
00:41:06,884 --> 00:41:10,888
and those floors, remember
the floors that I redid?
713
00:41:11,931 --> 00:41:15,768
I mean, it's all bad. And it's
just... It's all in there.
714
00:41:16,936 --> 00:41:18,563
Okay, yes, it's...
715
00:41:19,313 --> 00:41:21,315
it's the same place, but...
716
00:41:22,859 --> 00:41:26,070
but we're not in the same place.
717
00:41:27,196 --> 00:41:31,159
And really, it doesn't
even look the same.
718
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:36,289
I hung wallpaper
and I've repainted.
719
00:41:39,459 --> 00:41:42,462
And it wasn't all
bad, Aidan, was it?
720
00:41:53,639 --> 00:41:55,266
Are you listening?
721
00:41:56,893 --> 00:41:59,520
Yeah, I am. I'm listening.
722
00:42:02,899 --> 00:42:05,026
I just can't do it. I...
723
00:42:06,319 --> 00:42:11,199
No matter how much I want to I can't
go in there again with all that.
724
00:42:14,744 --> 00:42:16,746
I'm never goin' in there again.
725
00:42:20,291 --> 00:42:22,502
I thought it felt too easy, too.
726
00:42:27,256 --> 00:42:28,674
I understand.
727
00:42:29,467 --> 00:42:31,094
I do.
728
00:42:33,763 --> 00:42:36,391
I guess time doesn't
heal everything.
729
00:42:38,643 --> 00:42:41,270
No matter how much
you want it to.
730
00:42:42,063 --> 00:42:43,481
Shit.
731
00:42:43,981 --> 00:42:46,401
I should go. I...
732
00:42:53,449 --> 00:42:54,659
Hey, fuck it.
733
00:42:55,410 --> 00:42:59,247
This is New York. They
have hotels, right?
734
00:43:06,754 --> 00:43:08,923
And just like that...
735
00:43:09,006 --> 00:43:12,176
Aidan and I were back
on the same page.
56993
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