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1
00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:09,186
Am I late?
2
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,188
Hi. No!
3
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,732
Yes, 5 minutes, but who's counting.
4
00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:15,651
- We are, right?
- Right.
5
00:01:16,735 --> 00:01:18,070
- Well...
- So... Okay.
6
00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:21,740
- You ready?
- Uh...
7
00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:24,117
Yeah, about this...
8
00:01:24,409 --> 00:01:25,869
Brian. You like me, right?
9
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,829
Yes. Definitely.
10
00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:29,915
And I think you're
pretty neat, too,
11
00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:33,877
but what's the point in
continuing, without a guarantee?
12
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:37,798
Yeah.
13
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:39,675
Of course.
14
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,301
Are... you ready?
15
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:42,636
Please.
16
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,429
- Alright.
- I'm good.
17
00:01:44,596 --> 00:01:45,389
Okay.
18
00:01:57,359 --> 00:02:00,612
Oona! Hey girl.
Is this another potential?
19
00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:04,616
Yes. Hi, matchmaker Patty.
This is Brian.
20
00:02:04,783 --> 00:02:07,578
Welcome, Brian.
Ready to take the plunge?
21
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,871
Uh, Abso... absolutely.
22
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,960
Okay, come on back.
I'll get you started.
23
00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:21,425
So, exactly how many guys
have you brought here?
24
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,511
I've been on the
rocking horse a few times.
25
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:26,221
How many times?
26
00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:29,725
Please.
27
00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:32,728
- Okay. I just...
- Lay it on down.
28
00:02:34,271 --> 00:02:36,023
All-righty, Brian.
29
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,066
So we'll need some photo ID
and a credit card.
30
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,443
Okay, sure.
31
00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,281
- Sorry.
- OK. Good.
32
00:02:46,283 --> 00:02:47,909
So how long have the
two of you been dating?
33
00:02:48,619 --> 00:02:49,328
About a month.
34
00:02:49,786 --> 00:02:52,664
Brian Thompson.
Male, thirty-three?!
35
00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:54,875
Wow, how'd you get
this far without a Timer?
36
00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:56,877
- I'm from Oklahoma.
- Mm-hmm. Say no more.
37
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,671
Caucasian. Hetero.
Hope that sticks!
38
00:03:00,839 --> 00:03:03,842
And, uh, personality module
was completed online.
39
00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:06,553
Perfect. So, we're having
a special this week.
40
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,431
Which is $79.99,
41
00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:11,475
That's for installation
and the device
42
00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:13,268
plus monthly charges of $1.99.
43
00:03:13,852 --> 00:03:17,189
Okay? Let's have the recipient
sign the Terms of Use.
44
00:03:17,314 --> 00:03:20,150
Okay, so, what does
this say, exactly?
45
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,444
Oh, just that, um...
46
00:03:22,861 --> 00:03:25,697
You won't ask for a refund
if you think your wait
47
00:03:25,864 --> 00:03:28,492
for true love is too long or
too short. Or, you know, like,
48
00:03:29,368 --> 00:03:30,827
if you don't like
your soul mate.
49
00:03:31,953 --> 00:03:34,331
Are you-- Ar--
Aren't I guaranteed
50
00:03:34,498 --> 00:03:36,750
to like my One?
I mean, isn't that the point?
51
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:40,087
No. Not necessarily.
Not at first.
52
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:43,215
Here's our pamphlet
to the Path to True Love.
53
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,842
Now, of course, we have
love at first sight.
54
00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:48,095
But we also have friendship
blossoming into love.
55
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,556
Or enemies becoming lovers.
Opposites attract, etc, etc.
56
00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:55,018
See, the Timer tells you
the very moment that your
soul mate enters your life.
57
00:03:55,185 --> 00:03:56,812
The rest will evolve naturally.
58
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:00,982
So you and I have a head start.
Right?
59
00:04:04,569 --> 00:04:06,947
Right. Okay.
60
00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:09,950
Awesome. Awesome!
61
00:04:10,242 --> 00:04:12,536
OK, Brian.
Which is your dominant hand?
62
00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:13,412
Left.
63
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,001
So we're gonna--?
We're gonna do this now?
64
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:21,962
That looks like it hurts.
Does it hurt?
65
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,588
It's like getting
your ears pierced.
66
00:04:23,755 --> 00:04:25,006
My ears aren't pierced...
67
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:26,842
Well then, yes, it will hurt,
but briefly.
68
00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:30,011
Okay, so, after implantation
69
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,805
if the two of you are meant to be
70
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,224
then both of your Timers
at the very same time go:
71
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,520
And happily ever after. All set?
72
00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,440
Yeah, sure, le--
Yes.
73
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:47,988
Oh, Oona. Come on.
74
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,741
You wanna zero-out with your man,
you gotta make some eye contact.
75
00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:58,165
The best part of my day.
Drum roll, please!
76
00:05:06,798 --> 00:05:07,507
Jesus!
77
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,519
916 days.
78
00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:31,072
Alright.
79
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,576
Oona, I'm sorry.
80
00:05:35,494 --> 00:05:36,578
It's so fine.
81
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,081
Really. I...
I'm... really happy for you.
82
00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:42,042
You see, this is why
I didn't want to come here.
83
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,628
- No, I know.
- I was afraid
something like this--
84
00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:46,505
I know, and it's--
It's-- It's fine.
85
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:48,715
It's fine.
86
00:05:52,677 --> 00:05:54,763
916 days, that's like...
87
00:05:56,431 --> 00:05:57,766
Two and a half years.
88
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,434
Two and a half years. Heh.
89
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,813
I'll have finished my
doctorate by then, and...
90
00:06:03,814 --> 00:06:06,107
Have Tenure.
Fingers crossed. It's--
91
00:06:07,359 --> 00:06:08,860
Perfect timing, actually.
92
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,989
Gosh, it's crazy, you know, to
think that she's out there, she's--
93
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:15,325
Walking around,
she's living her life.
94
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,620
And the blank Timer she's
probably had for years
95
00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,789
has finally started
counting down.
96
00:06:23,542 --> 00:06:24,334
You know...
97
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:27,295
Two years is a long time.
Maybe we could still...
98
00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:28,839
Right.
99
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,258
Probably a doomed
relationship, right?
100
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:32,384
Moot.
101
00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:33,885
Doomed. I said doomed.
102
00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:35,595
Thanks, I said moot.
103
00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:38,098
That's making a better point.
104
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,308
Sorry. It's fine, I--
105
00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:43,061
Really, I-- Congratulations!
106
00:06:43,854 --> 00:06:46,982
That's so super.
I have to get back to work.
107
00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:49,734
- Okay, you know, I--
- So then, we--
108
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,029
- This was really great.
- Um. Yeah.
109
00:06:53,196 --> 00:06:54,072
You're nice.
110
00:06:55,031 --> 00:06:56,491
Thank you. No.
111
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:00,161
Take care.
112
00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:05,333
It's all right here for you,
and I am so sure he's gonna be
everything that you dreamed of.
113
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,128
See you next time, Oona!
114
00:07:08,753 --> 00:07:10,380
She's one of our
recurring customers.
115
00:07:10,714 --> 00:07:12,591
Okay, sir. Have a great day,
and keep on ticking!
116
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,472
If a clock could count down
to the exact moment
117
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,141
you meet your soul mate
118
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,434
would you want to know?
119
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:25,937
That's the claim of
manufacturers of
a new device called
120
00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:27,063
The Timer.
121
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,275
The next evolutionary step
in computer matchmaking
122
00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:32,861
The Timer lets you know
when your perfect match--
123
00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:36,197
We've discovered that all humans
are on a path to true love.
124
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:40,744
Implanted just after the onset of
puberty and powered by body heat,
125
00:07:40,911 --> 00:07:44,664
The Timer monitors levels of
oxytocin, the hormone of love.
126
00:07:44,789 --> 00:07:46,708
It zeroes out at midnight,
the night before,
127
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,377
and in the next day it
could go off at any second
128
00:07:49,544 --> 00:07:50,587
and you meet your soul mate.
129
00:07:50,712 --> 00:07:53,340
Are you tired of sitting
around, waiting for love?
130
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,926
Your days of watching
and wondering are over.
131
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,428
Say goodbye to heartache
and disappointments.
132
00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:00,096
Now you can be on the clock.
133
00:08:00,472 --> 00:08:02,182
True love, on a schedule.
134
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,059
Introducing Timer
135
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,896
a revolutionary device that tells
you not only who your soul mate is
136
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,189
but when you'll meet them.
137
00:08:09,731 --> 00:08:12,359
Timer.
Take the guesswork out of love.
138
00:08:13,485 --> 00:08:14,694
Have a cookie, Monica.
139
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,655
I can't, my Timer's about to go off.
140
00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:18,490
- When?
- Three years.
141
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,910
A computer chip in your arm?
142
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:23,078
No, sir.
143
00:08:23,745 --> 00:08:24,371
I don't know.
144
00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,790
- Would you?
- Would you?
145
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,335
Yeah, no. I got one.
146
00:08:30,585 --> 00:08:34,297
It was blank at first,
which kinda made me nervous.
147
00:08:34,631 --> 00:08:37,759
But then I guess she got one too.
Wherever she is.
148
00:08:37,926 --> 00:08:40,095
Jane likes dogs. So does John.
149
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,973
Your massive database, hard at work.
150
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:46,476
Listen, common interests are
just the tip of the iceberg, here.
151
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:49,020
We are the business of true love.
152
00:08:49,437 --> 00:08:51,898
Shared values, emotional needs,
physical attraction.
153
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,402
By the year 2005, it is estimated
that over half of Americans
154
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,988
ages 14 or older
will have Timers.
155
00:08:58,113 --> 00:09:00,866
A recent independent study
revealed a 98% satisfaction rating
156
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:04,035
among newly zeroed-out couples.
157
00:09:04,202 --> 00:09:05,453
It's like a fairy tale.
158
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,622
I saw him first from across the room.
159
00:09:07,956 --> 00:09:10,625
And then he looked at me
and I knew instantly.
160
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,837
Everybody turned to look,
and then people were clapping.
161
00:09:24,723 --> 00:09:27,892
On the 15th anniversary
of the invention of the Timer
162
00:09:28,059 --> 00:09:29,769
we're talking to zeroed-out couples.
163
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,731
Eric and Tammi zeroed-out
over 5 years ago.
164
00:09:32,897 --> 00:09:34,733
I was totally skeptical, I didn't--
165
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,403
I just wasn't gonna believe that
a stop watch was gonna tell me
166
00:09:39,237 --> 00:09:40,864
who to love, you know,
but it's not like that.
167
00:09:41,031 --> 00:09:43,783
What would you say to people who
still don't believe it works?
168
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,703
It doesn't tell you who to love,
169
00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:49,581
It just kinda confirms
what you already know.
170
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,584
What you already feel
in your heart, but
171
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,129
when you're ready for it...
172
00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:58,381
It just works out.
173
00:09:58,923 --> 00:09:59,924
It's nice.
174
00:10:40,131 --> 00:10:40,799
What?
175
00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,092
Why are you whispering?
176
00:10:45,553 --> 00:10:46,387
I'm not.
177
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,139
Where are you?
178
00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:49,641
Church.
179
00:10:51,142 --> 00:10:52,852
Brian isn't my One.
180
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:54,354
I'm shocked!
181
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,524
Call me back when you've
found your underwear.
182
00:10:58,149 --> 00:10:59,025
You got it.
183
00:11:01,653 --> 00:11:02,529
How'd it go?
184
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,863
Brian isn't my One.
185
00:11:07,325 --> 00:11:08,535
Hey, Priscilla.
186
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:09,786
(muffled) Hello.
187
00:11:13,164 --> 00:11:15,125
You wanna get these braces
taken off today?
188
00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:16,417
(muffled) Really?
189
00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:20,046
Uh... She's got another month,
Dr. O'Leary.
190
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,756
She's just here for a loose wire.
191
00:11:21,923 --> 00:11:23,341
Yeah, but a month is negligible.
192
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,010
Especially when school's
back in session next week.
193
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,763
My little brother is
starting his freshman year.
194
00:11:29,764 --> 00:11:32,642
He's so cute, I could just
punch him in the face.
195
00:11:34,602 --> 00:11:37,188
These braces are coming off
today, pretty girl.
196
00:11:37,355 --> 00:11:38,773
(muffled) Yeah!
197
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,877
You ever hear the one about the
single gal in the supermarket?
198
00:12:01,713 --> 00:12:02,672
It's an oldie, but a goodie.
199
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:04,674
Fuck it, I'll tell ya.
200
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,802
She brings all her stuff
up to the register
201
00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:10,847
four-pack of toilet paper,
microwaveable dinners,
that sort of thing.
202
00:12:11,472 --> 00:12:13,850
The check-out guy looks at
all of her stuff and he asks:
203
00:12:14,392 --> 00:12:15,351
"Hey, are you single?"
204
00:12:15,977 --> 00:12:17,395
She kinda giggles, and she's like
205
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,190
"Why, can you tell by all the
stuff I'm buying, like all the
single-serve items?"
206
00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:22,108
He's like "No, 'cause
you're fuckin' ugly."
207
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,535
I thought that would have
gone over a lot better.
208
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:34,579
Really?
209
00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:38,291
Yeah. I kinda thought you
would've got the irony.
210
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,294
- Missed it.
- Well, I mean...
211
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,670
with you being so pretty, and all.
212
00:12:46,716 --> 00:12:47,508
Good one.
213
00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:49,677
I'm 100% sincere on that.
214
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:53,431
Your total is $30.29.
215
00:13:02,273 --> 00:13:03,107
Sorry.
216
00:13:04,943 --> 00:13:05,985
One more time.
217
00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:12,909
Let me see. Thank you.
218
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,338
I see your Timer's blank.
219
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:27,423
- And?
- Nothing.
220
00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:29,759
You're sweating your future,
though, right?
221
00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:34,138
That's a shame. 'Cause you could
have a much more exciting present
if you really wanted.
222
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,975
I'll keep that in mind.
223
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:38,768
Mikey.
224
00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:42,438
Of course.
225
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,857
So long.
226
00:13:45,316 --> 00:13:46,609
- Bye-bye.
- Take care.
227
00:13:51,572 --> 00:13:53,449
In the jungles of Bangladesh,
228
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:55,451
Sunni fighters,called Mwali,
229
00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:57,662
wear facemasks onthe back of their heads
230
00:13:57,829 --> 00:14:01,749
to deter hungry Bengal tigersfrom attacking them from behind
231
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,844
You were supposed to be here
a half an hour ago!
232
00:14:13,511 --> 00:14:14,887
Take a pill.
233
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,597
Jesse's got his entire life to wait.
234
00:14:16,764 --> 00:14:19,267
Our punctuality isn't gonna
speed up the process.
235
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,101
You know...
236
00:14:20,476 --> 00:14:22,145
A positive attitude might help.
237
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,814
That worked like gangbusters
for you this morning, huh?
238
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:28,067
It's a process of elimination,
239
00:14:28,192 --> 00:14:30,111
and I'm one step closer, is all.
240
00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:32,238
Here. It's perfect.
241
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,659
Oh, absolutely not, no. Here.
242
00:14:39,954 --> 00:14:41,247
Oh. Did he have a Timer?
243
00:14:41,622 --> 00:14:43,291
Of course he had a Timer.
244
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:46,336
Timerless guys are so
angsty and conflicted.
245
00:14:46,627 --> 00:14:50,506
Boys with built-in expiration dates,
now they wanna sow their oats.
246
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,675
Multiple tantric oats.
247
00:14:52,842 --> 00:14:54,218
They're just using you.
248
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,054
I'm using them. Win-win.
249
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:57,055
I don't--
250
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,349
You have scientific proof that these
251
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:03,394
idiots are a waste of your time,
and yet, you go after them anyway.
252
00:15:03,853 --> 00:15:05,646
It cannot be as satisfying as you say.
253
00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:11,027
Yeah, you know, blazing hot
anonymous sex is super-tedious.
254
00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:14,697
You know what? I think
we should get a cat.
255
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:15,406
Oona.
256
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,577
Scale of 1-10: How sad
are you about Brian?
257
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:21,746
6.
258
00:15:23,164 --> 00:15:24,874
6.5. You know what, though...
259
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:27,794
It's fine. It's not
even about Brian.
260
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,545
I just wanna know. You know?
261
00:15:29,670 --> 00:15:31,547
Even if it says I'm not
gonna meet him until I'm...
262
00:15:31,672 --> 00:15:33,049
What? 43?
263
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,388
Hi, Mom. I'm sorry. You know what,
we're on our way. I swear.
264
00:15:44,102 --> 00:15:46,854
Hi-hi! Sorry we're late. We're here!
265
00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:48,231
Oona's fault!
266
00:15:49,065 --> 00:15:49,649
Hi.
267
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,109
Hola.
268
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:55,988
Are we in the right house?
269
00:15:56,697 --> 00:15:57,907
You're here!
270
00:15:59,242 --> 00:16:00,576
Hi-hi!
271
00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,412
Hi Mom.
272
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:03,705
Hi, Steph.
273
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,791
Girls, this is our
new housekeeper, Luz.
274
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:10,253
Luz, this is my daughter, Oona,
and Paul's daughter, Steph.
275
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:11,838
Mucho gusto.
276
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:13,548
Good night, Luz.
277
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,925
Thank you for your work today.
278
00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:17,176
Buenas noches.
279
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,930
Not a lick of English.
280
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:24,267
This is exciting!
Isn't this exciting?
281
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,518
So where's Brian?
282
00:16:26,269 --> 00:16:27,437
He's not my One.
283
00:16:28,146 --> 00:16:30,148
Oh, sugar. Oh, I'm sorry.
284
00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:33,317
Why did you have to take him
today, of all days?
285
00:16:33,985 --> 00:16:36,988
Because you said it would
be double the celebration.
286
00:16:37,738 --> 00:16:40,658
Brian was never right for you
anyway. We all knew that.
287
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,660
Tell it, Marion. Amen!
288
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,705
Steph, baby. Don't make me
come after you and your life.
289
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:47,540
Sorry.
290
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:51,711
Oona. You're being very stoic
and we all appreciate it.
291
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,339
Now on to the next
potential One, right?
292
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:01,512
Now, Matchmaker Ron has
been here for over an hour!
293
00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:02,972
- Jesse!
- Yeah?
294
00:17:03,139 --> 00:17:05,183
Good. Okay, everybody this way!
295
00:17:05,516 --> 00:17:07,268
Hi. Are you so excited?
296
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,188
- Oona, don't be a douche.
- What? I'm happy for him.
297
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:20,406
Jesse Aaron Depaul, I certify that
you are of Timer-eligible age.
298
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:24,202
This being the first month of
your ninth grade school year.
299
00:17:26,662 --> 00:17:27,872
Are you ready, baby?
300
00:17:28,039 --> 00:17:29,123
Piece of cake, Jess.
301
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:31,542
Even if you won't have any
of your original teeth
302
00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:32,752
by the time you meet her.
303
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:33,711
Or him!
304
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,130
I'm not gay, Mom.
Can we get this over with?
305
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:37,715
Jess.
306
00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:40,259
I will give you new teeth,
if you need them.
307
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,345
But just so you know, whatever happens,
308
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:45,973
You're gonna have someone out there
who loves you as much as we do.
309
00:17:49,393 --> 00:17:50,645
Take a deep breath, hun.
310
00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:14,710
Three days?
311
00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:16,420
That's bullshit!
312
00:18:18,756 --> 00:18:19,549
Excuse me.
313
00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:22,927
Three days, Paul.
314
00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:26,847
That is an unusually fast
countdown, but...
315
00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:29,225
- It's better to know earlier.
- Than later?
316
00:18:30,059 --> 00:18:30,560
Dick.
317
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,895
We're gonna have grandchildren,
after all!
318
00:18:33,521 --> 00:18:34,981
Hey! My eggs, they can hear you!
319
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,774
Freshman year, that's my boy!
320
00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:37,608
Oona.
321
00:18:39,277 --> 00:18:40,736
You know what, I'm gonna go.
322
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:44,282
Oona, this must feel unfair.
323
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:45,783
Sorry about Brian.
324
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,035
Thank you, Paul.
It's okay, Mom, really.
325
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:50,538
No! Don't even think
about it, you stay.
326
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,456
I'm just gonna go to bed anyway.
It's fine.
327
00:18:52,623 --> 00:18:53,499
Congratulations.
328
00:18:54,625 --> 00:18:55,334
Bye bye.
329
00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:07,907
What time do you get off?
330
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:10,117
What?
331
00:20:10,451 --> 00:20:11,619
Do you want me to repeat it?
332
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,954
Yes, into the loudspeaker,
if you don't mind.
333
00:20:14,705 --> 00:20:16,916
Believe me when I tell you,
this is your one shot,
334
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:18,376
so make it count.
335
00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:19,919
Now, now, I get off now...
336
00:20:20,503 --> 00:20:22,171
Nelson!
Hey dude, cover for me.
337
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:24,382
Not cool, bro.
338
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:39,980
So, what do you do?
339
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:41,941
Orthodontist.
340
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:43,859
Far out, like a dentist?
341
00:20:44,985 --> 00:20:45,611
Yeah.
342
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,155
Only an orthodontist.
343
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:49,782
Cool.
344
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,371
So what's your name?
345
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:02,753
Uh... So, I have roommates.
346
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,548
How many?
347
00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,300
Four. But they should be out.
348
00:21:18,936 --> 00:21:20,438
Guys, where are your manners?
349
00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:22,440
Everybody, this is Oona.
350
00:21:23,274 --> 00:21:25,943
Oona, this is TJ, Zuckerman,
351
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:28,946
the skinny guy in the chair
is Greggy, and that's Wretch.
352
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,490
Uma, like Uma Thurman?
353
00:21:35,244 --> 00:21:37,037
Sure.
Wretch, is it?
354
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,627
We'll be in the bedroom, it's
just around the corner there.
355
00:21:44,587 --> 00:21:46,297
Lead the way.
356
00:21:48,632 --> 00:21:49,467
Who is that?
357
00:22:03,105 --> 00:22:04,774
I don't wanna know how old you are.
358
00:22:05,065 --> 00:22:05,733
Okay?
359
00:22:06,484 --> 00:22:07,151
OK.
360
00:22:07,943 --> 00:22:08,652
How old are you?
361
00:22:09,904 --> 00:22:11,489
I turn 30 this January.
362
00:22:16,911 --> 00:22:18,662
Maybe this was a bad idea.
363
00:22:18,829 --> 00:22:23,667
No! No, no, no. This is a great idea.
It's up there with, um...
364
00:22:24,668 --> 00:22:27,296
Gravity, or cold fusion...
365
00:22:27,463 --> 00:22:29,590
what-have-you, it's just...
366
00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:32,510
It's a really, really good idea.
367
00:22:49,985 --> 00:22:51,570
Four months to go, hm.
368
00:22:52,029 --> 00:22:53,614
Yeah, well, you know...
369
00:22:54,406 --> 00:22:57,868
Four... long months.
370
00:23:02,873 --> 00:23:04,542
You enjoy that time.
371
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:05,793
What?
372
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,878
Yeah, I'll just-- I gotta...
373
00:23:08,045 --> 00:23:09,839
- No, no. Stay.
- No, I really...
374
00:23:10,172 --> 00:23:11,841
- I can't stay.
- No, no, can't-- Let's go back...
375
00:23:12,383 --> 00:23:13,968
The kissing...
376
00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:30,127
Hey.
377
00:23:33,350 --> 00:23:34,183
Hey.
378
00:23:35,364 --> 00:23:36,198
Who are you?
379
00:23:36,657 --> 00:23:37,449
I'm him.
380
00:23:41,161 --> 00:23:42,746
You know what they say
about a watched pot.
381
00:24:16,113 --> 00:24:20,492
Attention residents. The raffle
will begin in 5 minutes.
382
00:24:29,752 --> 00:24:31,253
- I'm fine.
- Did I ask?
383
00:24:31,795 --> 00:24:33,756
Margaret? Is that you, Margaret?
384
00:24:34,214 --> 00:24:35,299
Sure isn't, Sadie.
385
00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:36,717
Oh, my mistake.
386
00:24:38,886 --> 00:24:40,095
So? How are you?
387
00:24:40,721 --> 00:24:41,639
I'm fine.
388
00:24:42,348 --> 00:24:44,350
Mom even found me a date
for tomorrow night.
389
00:24:44,725 --> 00:24:45,809
Somebody's grandson.
390
00:24:45,976 --> 00:24:47,227
The woman is unstoppable.
391
00:24:47,394 --> 00:24:49,605
Margaret!
Answer your mother, Margaret.
392
00:24:49,772 --> 00:24:51,273
Yeah. Not your daughter, Sadie.
'Kay?
393
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,650
- Pardon me.
- Okay.
394
00:24:52,942 --> 00:24:54,360
Did I totally ruin Jesse's night?
395
00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:57,363
No! Matchmaker Ronhandled that all on his own.
396
00:24:59,323 --> 00:25:02,534
You know, Romeo and Juliet were
14 when they found each other.
397
00:25:02,952 --> 00:25:04,787
If only life were more
like theater camp.
398
00:25:04,954 --> 00:25:07,081
Margaret. Is that you, Margaret?
399
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:08,832
Hang on.
400
00:25:11,627 --> 00:25:12,628
You bet, Mom.
401
00:25:13,003 --> 00:25:14,088
Great news:
402
00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:15,506
I'm gay.
403
00:25:16,131 --> 00:25:17,466
- You're...
- Gay!
404
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,468
Gay as the day is long.
405
00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:23,055
Dykey-dyke, dyke.
Plus, my girlfriend...
406
00:25:24,181 --> 00:25:24,890
She's black.
407
00:25:26,850 --> 00:25:27,977
That's not funny.
408
00:25:30,187 --> 00:25:31,021
I gotta go.
409
00:25:33,983 --> 00:25:35,567
- It was a little funny.
- Miss DePaul.
410
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:37,945
It might feel like you have
all the time in the world
411
00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,614
but it'll be you in here,
faster than you realize.
412
00:25:41,699 --> 00:25:42,783
Come with me, dear.
413
00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:46,870
Come on, your room is over here.
414
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:55,671
In the service, we had a name
for men like that.
415
00:25:56,255 --> 00:25:57,881
- Pricks?
- Cocksuckers.
416
00:25:58,132 --> 00:25:59,883
Better. How they hangin' Dutch?
417
00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:02,678
Down to my knees, angel.
You keep your head up...
418
00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:07,933
Good afternoon, Mr. Evers.
419
00:26:09,309 --> 00:26:10,561
Hm, a new patient.
420
00:26:11,061 --> 00:26:12,104
That's fun.
421
00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:14,815
So how'd you hear about us?
422
00:26:17,484 --> 00:26:19,695
There's not a whole lot of
orthodontists with your first name.
423
00:26:20,904 --> 00:26:24,199
You can thank my father for that one.
Cindy, can you can give us a minute?
424
00:26:25,117 --> 00:26:25,868
Bye, Cindy.
425
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:29,246
So I think I might need braces,
426
00:26:29,413 --> 00:26:31,623
but I'm no expert, so what do you think?
427
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:34,543
This-- Look, I...
428
00:26:34,668 --> 00:26:36,420
Come on, how cute
do I look in this bib?
429
00:26:36,587 --> 00:26:39,298
You can't do this, OK?
This is my place of business...
430
00:26:39,465 --> 00:26:40,507
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
431
00:26:40,924 --> 00:26:42,718
I didn't mean to freak you out,
I just...
432
00:26:42,885 --> 00:26:44,470
I think you're really cool
and I think...
433
00:26:45,387 --> 00:26:46,430
We should hang out.
434
00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:52,811
Mikey, I...
435
00:26:52,978 --> 00:26:53,729
I'm just a check-out guy.
436
00:26:53,896 --> 00:26:55,314
- No! That's not it.
- Okay, good.
437
00:26:56,398 --> 00:26:59,109
I'm a musician. And I'm
very passionate about my work.
438
00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:01,278
Your real issue is my Timer?
439
00:27:02,738 --> 00:27:03,572
Yeah, it is.
440
00:27:03,739 --> 00:27:05,949
Girls like you think I'm cheating
on someone I haven't met yet, right?
441
00:27:07,868 --> 00:27:11,205
No, I just think that if
you have a countdown,
442
00:27:11,497 --> 00:27:13,749
if you're lucky enough
to know your path to...
443
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,710
True love. You can say it,
I'm not gonna laugh.
444
00:27:17,711 --> 00:27:20,547
Yes, to true love.
Then you should honor that.
445
00:27:22,007 --> 00:27:24,218
See, that's what's stupid
about the Timer--
446
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,012
it says you have one path,
and you can't take detours.
447
00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,722
I mean, life is about detours.
448
00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:30,974
You know what? You sound like
a credit card commercial.
449
00:27:31,141 --> 00:27:33,352
I'm looking for my One,
and you're not him.
450
00:27:37,815 --> 00:27:38,482
I get it.
451
00:28:02,548 --> 00:28:04,800
So will this thing buzz, or light up?
452
00:28:05,926 --> 00:28:07,052
Both, I think.
453
00:28:12,766 --> 00:28:15,185
So, Guy, why have you never
gotten a Timer?
454
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:19,565
Romance has never really
been a priority for me.
455
00:28:27,114 --> 00:28:28,157
Is this thing working?
456
00:28:56,476 --> 00:28:57,936
Was it as magical as you hoped?
457
00:28:59,688 --> 00:29:02,191
You know, it doesn't all have
to be chemistry from the jump.
458
00:29:03,192 --> 00:29:04,735
Feelings can grow over time.
459
00:29:05,402 --> 00:29:06,945
Yeah, sparks are fleeting,
460
00:29:07,070 --> 00:29:09,198
nothing to talk about
can last a lifetime.
461
00:29:09,823 --> 00:29:10,699
Thanks.
462
00:29:10,866 --> 00:29:11,950
Have at it. I'll be right back.
463
00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:14,703
Hey, we're Truckbeef.
Thanks for coming out.
464
00:29:14,828 --> 00:29:16,747
This is our last song.
It's called:
465
00:29:16,914 --> 00:29:19,958
"Mom, can I call you back?
I have to dispose of the body."
466
00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:21,645
- Shut the door.
- Huh?
467
00:30:21,812 --> 00:30:23,272
- Shut the door.
- Oh, yeah.
468
00:30:24,189 --> 00:30:26,108
Don't worry, the guys'll be at
the bar for a few more hours.
469
00:30:26,275 --> 00:30:27,359
Taking turns with our groupies.
470
00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:34,032
I think it's really cute that
you all live together.
471
00:30:34,825 --> 00:30:37,828
I remember when I was a little girl
and the Bangles broke up...
472
00:30:39,079 --> 00:30:40,664
I imagined them rolling up their
473
00:30:40,998 --> 00:30:42,916
Care Bear sleeping bags, and...
474
00:30:43,417 --> 00:30:44,626
packing up their makeup kits...
475
00:30:44,793 --> 00:30:45,669
My God!
476
00:30:45,836 --> 00:30:48,922
Dragging them out of this really big loft
477
00:30:49,089 --> 00:30:50,882
they undoubtedly shared together.
478
00:30:52,134 --> 00:30:53,260
Who were the Bangles?
479
00:31:13,530 --> 00:31:15,032
No, no! Silk.
480
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:16,450
I'll do it.
481
00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,328
Oh God, okay.
482
00:31:23,582 --> 00:31:24,583
Okay.
483
00:31:30,964 --> 00:31:32,132
Hey, Mikey!
484
00:31:32,507 --> 00:31:33,717
- Oh yes, Mikey, come on!
- Gotta go to the bathroom!
485
00:31:34,051 --> 00:31:35,135
Goddammit!
486
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:37,179
Can't a brother catch a break?
487
00:31:37,512 --> 00:31:39,348
Okay, hold on...
488
00:31:39,514 --> 00:31:41,683
Have some cereal,
I'll be right back.
489
00:31:42,476 --> 00:31:44,019
You were awful tonight.
490
00:31:44,186 --> 00:31:45,812
So bad.
491
00:31:45,979 --> 00:31:47,230
Shut the fuck up!
492
00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:51,777
Okay. Guys, seriously.
493
00:31:53,195 --> 00:31:53,987
This girl...
494
00:31:54,154 --> 00:31:57,157
is so far out of my league
I have no idea how the fuck
495
00:31:57,324 --> 00:31:58,241
I got her back here.
496
00:31:58,700 --> 00:31:59,576
Pussy.
497
00:32:00,994 --> 00:32:03,038
If I'm a pussy, I'm about to
have the best lesbian sex
498
00:32:03,205 --> 00:32:04,706
of my entire life!
499
00:32:04,831 --> 00:32:06,666
So I'm asking you all to
not fuck this up for me.
500
00:32:21,932 --> 00:32:22,682
Hi.
501
00:32:24,559 --> 00:32:25,268
Hi.
502
00:33:01,638 --> 00:33:03,890
Samuel? Is that you, Samuel?
503
00:33:04,724 --> 00:33:06,184
Uh... No.
504
00:33:06,726 --> 00:33:09,229
Samuel, the kids don't
come by anymore.
505
00:33:09,396 --> 00:33:11,022
And Margaret's impossible!
506
00:33:12,065 --> 00:33:13,525
I think you have me confused
with someone else.
507
00:33:13,692 --> 00:33:14,734
I miss you.
508
00:33:14,901 --> 00:33:18,530
I have trouble sleeping without you.
509
00:33:20,949 --> 00:33:22,200
Uh... Me, too.
510
00:33:22,826 --> 00:33:26,246
Sadie, I'm pretty sure that
that's not Margaret either.
511
00:33:28,165 --> 00:33:30,208
Sorry if the natives are bothering you.
512
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,044
What can I do you for?
513
00:33:34,004 --> 00:33:35,630
Um... I'm here to see Dutch Solomon.
514
00:33:35,797 --> 00:33:37,591
Oh, he's probably napping.
515
00:33:37,757 --> 00:33:39,968
So. Where are you from, originally?
516
00:33:40,677 --> 00:33:41,595
Rhode Island.
517
00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:43,513
I work at the university.
518
00:33:43,763 --> 00:33:46,892
I love how you say that, like
there's only one in town.
519
00:33:47,476 --> 00:33:49,019
Hey. You lay off my grandson.
520
00:33:49,519 --> 00:33:51,188
What, you cock-blocking me,
old man?
521
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,732
He's here to humor his elder,
522
00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:55,400
not flirt with the help.
523
00:33:55,567 --> 00:33:56,985
He can make up his own mind.
524
00:33:58,278 --> 00:34:00,113
- What's your name, soldier?
- Uh, Dan.
525
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:02,866
Dan the Man. I'm Steph.
526
00:34:03,533 --> 00:34:04,242
Hey, Steph.
527
00:34:06,953 --> 00:34:09,372
Ooh. No Timer. Yawn.
528
00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:12,459
I told you I was
looking out for you, angel.
529
00:34:12,918 --> 00:34:14,085
I know your type.
530
00:34:14,836 --> 00:34:17,547
Come on, Daniel. This Scrabble
game won't play itself.
531
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,467
- Nice meeting you.
- Likewise.
532
00:34:44,741 --> 00:34:45,867
Oh, you're up.
533
00:34:46,201 --> 00:34:47,702
You're an ass.
534
00:34:48,203 --> 00:34:50,330
Now you can tell me where
you went last night?
535
00:34:57,879 --> 00:34:59,047
Oh, my god!
536
00:34:59,881 --> 00:35:01,883
Tell me what you did or
I'm gonna pee on your bed!
537
00:35:06,972 --> 00:35:08,306
I met this guy...
538
00:35:09,766 --> 00:35:10,392
Timer?
539
00:35:11,101 --> 00:35:11,817
Mm-hm.
540
00:35:11,893 --> 00:35:12,561
How long?
541
00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:15,146
Four months, and some change.
542
00:35:15,855 --> 00:35:16,648
Hot!
543
00:35:17,232 --> 00:35:18,400
The closer they get to D-Day
544
00:35:18,567 --> 00:35:20,610
the more inclined they are to
throw you around a little bit.
545
00:35:20,777 --> 00:35:23,738
It was so hot. It was just so...
546
00:35:23,905 --> 00:35:25,574
unbelievably hot!
547
00:35:25,949 --> 00:35:27,492
He kisses like, um...
548
00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:32,956
Uh, I don't even know.
And he has really big hands!
549
00:35:33,123 --> 00:35:34,708
I'm so proud of you.
550
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,712
Seriously, Oona.
You've finally got laid proper.
551
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:41,089
See? One night stands.
That's what it's all about.
552
00:35:42,299 --> 00:35:45,927
Yeah, though, I don't really
know if I'd classify it as a
"one night stand" though.
553
00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:49,598
Uh, well, you're not gonna
see him again, right?
554
00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:53,310
Oona?
555
00:35:53,977 --> 00:35:56,980
Even if your mismatched Timers
weren't a recipe for disaster,
556
00:35:57,147 --> 00:36:00,775
he's not gonna want a repeat
of last night, they never do.
557
00:36:05,405 --> 00:36:07,490
But! It was fun, right?
558
00:36:08,742 --> 00:36:10,535
Yeah, no, it was so fun.
559
00:36:12,412 --> 00:36:15,081
Fun.
You want animal pancakes?
560
00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:18,960
Uh, when do I not
want animal pancakes?
561
00:36:20,337 --> 00:36:21,212
- Ten.
- Ten.
562
00:36:21,379 --> 00:36:22,213
- Nine.
- Nine.
563
00:36:22,505 --> 00:36:23,214
- Eight.
- Eight.
564
00:36:23,381 --> 00:36:24,382
- Seven.
- Seven.
565
00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:25,717
- Six.
- Six. Come on, Jess.
566
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:26,635
- Five.
- Five.
567
00:36:26,926 --> 00:36:27,719
- Four.
- Four.
568
00:36:28,094 --> 00:36:28,845
- Three.
- Three.
569
00:36:29,220 --> 00:36:30,013
- Two.
- Two.
570
00:36:30,347 --> 00:36:31,139
- One.
- One.
571
00:36:31,348 --> 00:36:32,307
Midnight!
572
00:36:34,434 --> 00:36:37,479
The next time it makes that noise
is when you make eye contact
573
00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:38,521
with your One.
574
00:36:38,688 --> 00:36:39,606
But it'll be much louder.
575
00:36:39,773 --> 00:36:42,192
Scared the shit out of me.
Be ready.
576
00:36:42,609 --> 00:36:44,444
- Can I go to bed now?
- Honey...
577
00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:46,571
How can you sleep?
578
00:36:46,946 --> 00:36:48,865
This is better than Christmas!
579
00:36:49,282 --> 00:36:51,951
Sometime in the next 24 hours
580
00:36:52,118 --> 00:36:56,706
You are gonna meet the girl
that you will spend the
rest of your life with!
581
00:36:57,791 --> 00:36:58,541
Yeah.
582
00:37:31,282 --> 00:37:34,202
With his large hands the color
of Madeleine's afternoon tea
583
00:37:34,369 --> 00:37:36,204
Mowgli encircled her tiny waist.
584
00:37:36,371 --> 00:37:37,956
Her inhibitions melted.
585
00:37:38,123 --> 00:37:41,626
"Oh Mowgli, missionary work isso much harder than I imagined."
586
00:37:42,293 --> 00:37:44,462
She quickly discovered itwasn't all that was hard...
587
00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,214
Oops! Naughty bits.
588
00:37:47,590 --> 00:37:49,384
Oona? How did it go with Guy?
589
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:52,303
It's okay.
590
00:37:53,388 --> 00:37:54,889
I don't really think
there's much there.
591
00:37:55,265 --> 00:37:57,559
Well, you can't be sure
until he gets his Timer.
592
00:37:58,184 --> 00:38:00,061
No stone unturned, sweetheart.
593
00:38:00,228 --> 00:38:01,104
Okay, Mom.
594
00:38:01,229 --> 00:38:03,189
Girls, you don't realize
how lucky you are.
595
00:38:03,356 --> 00:38:07,110
Your generation has been spared
the emotional carnage of divorce.
596
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:10,029
The soul-crushing pain of
597
00:38:10,447 --> 00:38:12,782
unreciprocated infatuation.
598
00:38:12,949 --> 00:38:16,578
The humiliation. Not to mention
possible venereal fallout
599
00:38:16,745 --> 00:38:18,621
of reckless promiscuity.
600
00:38:19,748 --> 00:38:21,416
It used to be so awful.
601
00:38:21,708 --> 00:38:22,751
What a mess.
602
00:38:23,793 --> 00:38:25,879
We are so lucky that
603
00:38:26,171 --> 00:38:29,340
since your Mom died, Steph,
and my disastrous marriage.
604
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:30,925
Paul and I found each other.
605
00:38:31,259 --> 00:38:33,136
How perfect is our family?
606
00:38:33,553 --> 00:38:34,804
- Perfect.
- Perfecto.
607
00:38:34,971 --> 00:38:37,557
And don't you two feel like
you were meant to be sisters?
608
00:38:38,266 --> 00:38:39,225
- Yes
- Yes
609
00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:41,478
And it's all thanks to the Timer.
610
00:38:48,651 --> 00:38:49,736
Jesse!
611
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:52,864
Jesse! Is that her?
612
00:38:54,616 --> 00:38:55,742
- I gotta go.
- Bye.
613
00:38:57,327 --> 00:38:58,453
Excellent, Marion,
614
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:00,955
now spit on your hand and go
wipe something off his face.
615
00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:04,793
That's not her.
616
00:39:07,337 --> 00:39:08,087
So?
617
00:39:09,672 --> 00:39:10,673
Did it happen?
618
00:39:12,425 --> 00:39:13,092
No.
619
00:39:28,358 --> 00:39:31,986
What's wrong with an impromptu
pizza night with Sheila's girls?
620
00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:35,240
Yeah. Some snacks, an arranged marriage.
621
00:39:35,406 --> 00:39:37,867
I'm just saying it's not up
to you to orchestrate this.
622
00:39:38,117 --> 00:39:39,285
Luz. Are you leaving?
623
00:39:39,452 --> 00:39:41,162
Si, Mrs. Marion, ya me voy.
624
00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,039
Hola, Eduardo.
625
00:39:44,332 --> 00:39:45,458
Oh, is that your daughter?
626
00:39:45,625 --> 00:39:46,668
Si, es mi hija.
627
00:39:46,835 --> 00:39:48,294
Soledad! Por favor.
628
00:39:51,714 --> 00:39:52,549
Saludale.
629
00:39:53,132 --> 00:39:55,552
Hello Mrs. DePaul. I'm Soledad.
It's nice to meet you.
630
00:39:55,718 --> 00:39:57,887
She's lovely, Luz.
631
00:39:58,054 --> 00:40:00,807
This is my daughter, Oona, and
my stepdaughter, Steph.
632
00:40:01,182 --> 00:40:02,308
And this is Jesse.
633
00:40:15,738 --> 00:40:16,531
Well!
634
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,368
Eduardo!
635
00:40:24,998 --> 00:40:26,958
This is terrific!
636
00:40:27,250 --> 00:40:29,002
Isn't this terrific, Jesse?
637
00:40:29,168 --> 00:40:30,378
Here she is!
638
00:40:31,588 --> 00:40:32,213
Hi.
639
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:34,549
Que paso?
640
00:40:34,924 --> 00:40:35,925
Sono la cosa.
641
00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:37,427
- Con el?
- Ya el sound Timer.
642
00:40:37,594 --> 00:40:39,554
- Esta luz segura que...
- Y la luz parpadea.
643
00:40:39,721 --> 00:40:41,514
Mom, why don't you invite
Luz and her family inside?
644
00:40:41,681 --> 00:40:43,933
Yes! Yes, yes.
645
00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:47,186
Dice that tenemos una sanilla in the Mostar.
646
00:40:47,562 --> 00:40:49,689
I'm sorry, Ms. DePaul,
we're late for dinner.
647
00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:51,190
Well, you have dinner here!
648
00:40:51,357 --> 00:40:54,235
No, it's a dinner held in my honor.
649
00:40:55,278 --> 00:40:56,821
All the boys in the neighborhood.
650
00:40:57,363 --> 00:40:59,240
That's a moot point now,
wouldn't you say?
651
00:41:00,700 --> 00:41:02,952
I'm sorry, we have to go.
Thank you.
652
00:41:13,254 --> 00:41:15,131
Well, that was a little rude.
653
00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:17,300
In-laws.
654
00:41:18,259 --> 00:41:19,427
They're shocked.
655
00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:22,847
Just like we are.
You can't blame them.
656
00:41:23,723 --> 00:41:26,768
Sweetie.
She seems really nice.
657
00:41:27,185 --> 00:41:28,144
And tall.
658
00:41:32,023 --> 00:41:32,815
Marion.
659
00:41:33,900 --> 00:41:34,776
Give him a minute.
660
00:41:35,401 --> 00:41:38,237
He can't process this, Mom, you know.
661
00:41:38,404 --> 00:41:42,075
He doesn't even have chest hair,
and he just met the girl he's
supposed to grow old with.
662
00:41:42,450 --> 00:41:44,661
He has no idea of what love is.
663
00:41:45,161 --> 00:41:46,162
Do either of you?
664
00:41:48,998 --> 00:41:49,749
Exactly.
665
00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:51,626
Every once in a while,
666
00:41:51,793 --> 00:41:53,878
I'm the person most qualified
for the job.
667
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:56,589
God, I love it when she's
fierce like that.
668
00:41:58,508 --> 00:42:01,260
Seriously, do you think it's
weird that we've never
669
00:42:01,678 --> 00:42:03,137
been in love?
670
00:42:04,305 --> 00:42:05,056
No.
671
00:42:05,348 --> 00:42:07,266
It only happens once, so we're due.
672
00:42:08,434 --> 00:42:11,813
Yes. But, do you think that
they thought like that...
673
00:42:12,105 --> 00:42:14,148
That it only happens once.
Before the timer?
674
00:42:15,024 --> 00:42:16,401
I'm just saying, like the expression
675
00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:19,612
"first love" does imply
there's seconds and thirds.
676
00:42:21,030 --> 00:42:23,116
You're so asking the wrong girl.
677
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:25,618
No help to me.
678
00:42:34,585 --> 00:42:35,586
- Good night, Cindy.
- Good night.
679
00:42:40,336 --> 00:42:40,761
Hey.
680
00:42:42,468 --> 00:42:43,303
Motherfucker!
681
00:42:43,428 --> 00:42:44,929
You just hit me in the face!
682
00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:47,724
Why'd you-- What are you doing here?
683
00:42:47,890 --> 00:42:49,350
I wanted to see you again.
684
00:42:51,561 --> 00:42:52,562
Why?
685
00:42:58,401 --> 00:42:59,610
You make a strong case.
686
00:43:07,827 --> 00:43:09,162
Stay here.
687
00:43:42,236 --> 00:43:43,946
- She's not here.
- Uh, who?
688
00:43:44,447 --> 00:43:46,491
My sister Steph.
We live together.
689
00:43:46,741 --> 00:43:47,825
Oh, you guys don't get along?
690
00:43:47,950 --> 00:43:49,869
Oh no, we do. She's my best friend.
691
00:43:50,703 --> 00:43:51,496
Is this her?
692
00:43:51,856 --> 00:43:52,344
Uh-huh.
693
00:43:54,082 --> 00:43:55,291
Oh, are you guys twins?
694
00:43:55,583 --> 00:43:57,794
No. No, she's my stepsister
695
00:43:58,086 --> 00:43:59,962
we just happen to share
the same birthday.
696
00:44:00,296 --> 00:44:03,091
Every year, my Mom throws us
a surprise party.
697
00:44:03,925 --> 00:44:06,219
Wait, how is it a surprise
if she does it every year?
698
00:44:06,385 --> 00:44:07,386
Oh, we all pretend.
699
00:44:09,388 --> 00:44:10,223
Nice.
700
00:44:11,974 --> 00:44:14,644
Oh. Okay. So how, um...
701
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,438
How many more times
are we gonna do this?
702
00:44:18,481 --> 00:44:20,775
As many more times as you let me.
703
00:44:23,402 --> 00:44:25,196
Okay, um. See, I--
704
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:31,327
I'm not like you. I've slept with
a total of four men in my life
705
00:44:31,494 --> 00:44:33,746
and each time, I've had to face the
706
00:44:34,413 --> 00:44:36,666
very real possibility of losing them.
707
00:44:36,833 --> 00:44:40,419
And with you, it's actually
not a possibility.
708
00:44:40,586 --> 00:44:41,963
It's an absolute certainty.
709
00:44:44,132 --> 00:44:45,466
So I guess you can relax, then.
710
00:44:48,010 --> 00:44:51,514
Wait, um. So you're saying that
I'm, uh... I'm lucky number 5?
711
00:44:53,474 --> 00:44:54,308
So we're good now?
712
00:44:56,352 --> 00:44:57,395
Yeah...
713
00:44:59,188 --> 00:45:00,273
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
714
00:45:00,439 --> 00:45:01,023
Yeah?
715
00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:03,568
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
716
00:45:03,734 --> 00:45:05,653
Shut up.
717
00:45:11,993 --> 00:45:13,578
- Okay.
- Okay.
718
00:45:58,748 --> 00:46:01,125
My Mom got hers when she was
still married to my Dad.
719
00:46:02,043 --> 00:46:04,253
It was her proof that they
should get a divorce.
720
00:46:05,087 --> 00:46:06,088
Do you still talk to him?
721
00:46:07,465 --> 00:46:08,674
Not since I was a kid.
722
00:46:09,467 --> 00:46:11,427
He's a music producer and kind of...
723
00:46:12,345 --> 00:46:14,889
We just don't have a lot in common.
724
00:46:16,265 --> 00:46:17,475
Wait. Hold the phone.
725
00:46:19,435 --> 00:46:21,270
Your Dad is Rick O'Leary?
726
00:46:22,396 --> 00:46:23,064
Yeah.
727
00:46:27,276 --> 00:46:28,361
Are you okay?
728
00:46:29,195 --> 00:46:30,696
Is this a joke? He's a legend!
729
00:46:31,030 --> 00:46:32,198
So they tell me.
730
00:46:35,201 --> 00:46:37,453
I've had sex with
Rick O'Leary's daughter.
731
00:46:39,914 --> 00:46:41,457
I'm so much cooler than I thought.
732
00:46:41,958 --> 00:46:43,709
That's like the only
cool thing about you.
733
00:46:44,460 --> 00:46:45,378
Oh, snap!
734
00:46:46,921 --> 00:46:48,172
Are your parents still together?
735
00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:51,425
Yeah. They met the old-fashioned way.
736
00:46:51,759 --> 00:46:55,012
They had four strapping young sons,
I'm the youngest and most strapping.
737
00:46:56,097 --> 00:46:57,932
Any of your brothers missing Timers?
738
00:46:58,474 --> 00:46:59,642
Why, you looking for a date?
739
00:46:59,809 --> 00:47:02,103
A girl's gotta be proactive,
I can't just
740
00:47:03,062 --> 00:47:06,399
sit here and feel bad about
my crappy situation.
741
00:47:07,191 --> 00:47:08,901
It's not as crappy as your sister's.
742
00:47:09,902 --> 00:47:10,987
Well, I guess.
743
00:47:12,530 --> 00:47:13,781
One could argue that
744
00:47:13,948 --> 00:47:16,993
knowing is better than
not knowing. Even if
745
00:47:18,577 --> 00:47:22,164
knowing is tremendously
disappointing. At least
she can live her life.
746
00:47:22,707 --> 00:47:25,334
Accomplish what she wants,
plan for her future.
747
00:47:26,085 --> 00:47:27,211
Is that what she's doing?
748
00:47:30,339 --> 00:47:31,048
No.
749
00:47:33,718 --> 00:47:36,262
No. We need a little mystery in life.
750
00:47:39,974 --> 00:47:40,683
Well...
751
00:47:41,058 --> 00:47:44,061
If you feel that way,
why did you get a Timer?
752
00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:47,648
Some people lead, I follow.
753
00:47:49,358 --> 00:47:50,526
Why are you so far away?
754
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:55,323
I don't know why.
755
00:47:55,614 --> 00:47:57,366
- I don't know why either.
- You're stupid.
756
00:47:57,908 --> 00:47:58,951
- Idiot.
- You're an idiot.
757
00:47:59,118 --> 00:48:00,161
- You're the idiot.
- You're an idiot.
758
00:48:00,328 --> 00:48:01,287
- You're an idiot.
- Shut up.
759
00:48:01,454 --> 00:48:03,039
- You're the shut up.
- Shut up.
760
00:48:10,963 --> 00:48:13,424
Miss DePaul.
Where were you an hour ago?
761
00:48:13,716 --> 00:48:16,844
Right here. Doing my job.
Smile on my face.
762
00:48:17,011 --> 00:48:20,598
Then why did Mrs. Kaufman's
call roll over to voicemail
three times in a row?
763
00:48:22,058 --> 00:48:23,851
Are you gonna take the side
of a tattle-tale?
764
00:48:24,018 --> 00:48:25,561
Ms. DePaul, we don't
pay you to be glib,
765
00:48:25,728 --> 00:48:27,438
or to leave your desk unattended.
766
00:48:28,856 --> 00:48:31,192
I'm sorry for interrupting.
That was my fault.
767
00:48:34,987 --> 00:48:36,238
When I came in,
768
00:48:36,405 --> 00:48:38,240
I forgot where my grandfather's
room was, and
769
00:48:38,407 --> 00:48:39,825
I asked Steph to show it to me.
770
00:48:40,451 --> 00:48:41,035
Really?
771
00:48:41,827 --> 00:48:43,496
- Yeah.
- What's his name?
772
00:48:43,788 --> 00:48:44,705
Dutch Solomon.
773
00:48:46,707 --> 00:48:48,834
Doctor Rosen, call the lab.
774
00:48:49,335 --> 00:48:50,336
Beg your pardon.
775
00:48:57,843 --> 00:48:58,844
You didn't have to do that.
776
00:48:59,595 --> 00:49:00,471
I'm sorry.
777
00:49:00,638 --> 00:49:03,557
He just seemed to be getting on your
case a little unnecessarily.
778
00:49:03,724 --> 00:49:05,309
Uh, no, it was necessary alright,
779
00:49:05,476 --> 00:49:08,062
'cause I was sucking down a caramel
frapuccino about an hour ago.
780
00:49:08,938 --> 00:49:10,689
OK, you want me to get him back here?
781
00:49:10,856 --> 00:49:12,483
We can just tell him the truth.
I know I'll feel better.
782
00:49:14,944 --> 00:49:17,530
Nah, 'cause then that would make me
a good influence on you.
783
00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:21,951
You ever been in the Pocket Watch?
784
00:49:33,170 --> 00:49:34,547
You coming by the bar tonight?
785
00:49:35,589 --> 00:49:37,049
Uh... I've, uh...
786
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:38,968
Yeah, I don't know, why?
787
00:49:39,593 --> 00:49:41,345
Because you haven't been by in a decade.
788
00:49:41,679 --> 00:49:44,473
And because I might've found
your next Timerless puppet.
789
00:49:45,224 --> 00:49:47,351
Good teeth.
Endearingly clueless.
790
00:49:47,518 --> 00:49:49,937
No scars and/or visible tattoos.
791
00:49:50,104 --> 00:49:53,524
Uh... Yeah. Okay, I'll, I'll...
792
00:49:54,108 --> 00:49:54,942
I'll swing by.
793
00:49:58,571 --> 00:49:59,321
What?
794
00:49:59,905 --> 00:50:01,449
- Why are you weird?
- Why are you weird?
795
00:50:28,309 --> 00:50:29,185
You're good at that.
796
00:50:29,477 --> 00:50:31,061
Yeah. And you look like Mr. Rogers.
797
00:50:34,607 --> 00:50:35,608
Dutch insisted.
798
00:50:37,026 --> 00:50:38,152
Always a good idea to take
799
00:50:38,319 --> 00:50:40,529
your social cues from
an octogenarian.
800
00:50:41,113 --> 00:50:42,114
What's your drink?
801
00:50:43,449 --> 00:50:44,825
I'm afraid to tell you.
802
00:50:45,826 --> 00:50:47,995
I promise I won't make fun of you.
803
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:51,373
Just guess.
804
00:50:54,126 --> 00:50:56,295
My sister, she's gonna be here
in a little bit, so.
805
00:50:58,547 --> 00:50:59,507
Okay.
806
00:51:03,594 --> 00:51:05,846
Oona.
You have spectacular teeth.
807
00:51:06,013 --> 00:51:07,848
- I know.
- You've got a...
808
00:51:08,015 --> 00:51:09,517
femur in the way back.
809
00:51:09,934 --> 00:51:13,521
And your tricuspids are
just spectacular.
810
00:51:13,687 --> 00:51:14,480
I need suction.
811
00:51:14,647 --> 00:51:16,023
- Oh, suction.
- Go ahead.
812
00:51:17,358 --> 00:51:19,693
OK, so... Oops, sorry.
I think I just...
813
00:51:19,860 --> 00:51:21,946
got that hangy-ball thing, there,
let me just put that back in there.
814
00:51:26,408 --> 00:51:27,326
No answer.
815
00:51:27,701 --> 00:51:30,287
I hope she's trapped
under a cross-beam.
816
00:51:33,207 --> 00:51:34,333
This was a setup?
817
00:51:34,667 --> 00:51:36,293
Your sister has a blank Timer.
818
00:51:36,877 --> 00:51:38,462
Can't get anything past you.
819
00:51:40,005 --> 00:51:40,923
Look, thank you. Really.
820
00:51:41,090 --> 00:51:45,386
I'm sure your sister is great,
but I'm not really looking for--
821
00:51:46,428 --> 00:51:47,346
whatever.
822
00:51:48,138 --> 00:51:50,099
How come no "whatever" for you?
823
00:51:55,104 --> 00:51:56,480
I was married.
824
00:51:57,439 --> 00:51:58,941
And my wife died. So...
825
00:52:00,192 --> 00:52:01,151
I'm sorry.
826
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:05,030
No, no, no, look. See, this
is why I don't tell people.
827
00:52:05,197 --> 00:52:08,075
You're the most inappropriate
person I've ever met.
828
00:52:08,242 --> 00:52:11,203
And now you're getting all
appropriate on me.
829
00:52:14,873 --> 00:52:16,542
So, you wanna make out?
830
00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:17,710
What?
831
00:52:18,419 --> 00:52:19,461
I'm sorry. I...
832
00:52:19,628 --> 00:52:21,630
- It's okay.
- No, I should be put down.
833
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,967
Don't worry. She had a
sense of humor, it's alright.
834
00:52:28,637 --> 00:52:30,514
So, how long ago was it?
835
00:52:31,390 --> 00:52:33,142
Three years ago, this December.
836
00:52:34,977 --> 00:52:35,978
What was she like?
837
00:52:37,646 --> 00:52:38,939
She was beautiful.
838
00:52:40,107 --> 00:52:41,525
She was complicated, though.
839
00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:45,738
It's like she was always waiting
for something bad to happen, and...
840
00:52:47,781 --> 00:52:48,824
I guess it finally did.
841
00:52:50,618 --> 00:52:52,036
And she was your One?
842
00:52:54,038 --> 00:52:54,997
Of course.
843
00:52:56,999 --> 00:52:58,876
- Even without a Timer, you knew?
- Yeah.
844
00:53:02,838 --> 00:53:03,881
Okay.
845
00:53:06,091 --> 00:53:07,343
Whoah, fresh out of booze.
846
00:53:08,302 --> 00:53:09,345
Have a nice night.
847
00:53:13,974 --> 00:53:14,975
I love my job.
848
00:53:15,851 --> 00:53:16,852
It shows.
849
00:53:18,937 --> 00:53:20,814
Are you interested in doing
something else?
850
00:53:22,399 --> 00:53:24,401
Besides serve drinks and
answer the phones?
851
00:53:25,069 --> 00:53:26,028
Whatever for?
852
00:53:26,403 --> 00:53:29,281
I don't know, isn't that how it works
out here? Like your waitress
853
00:53:29,448 --> 00:53:33,077
is an actress. The guy who bags
your groceries is a writer?
854
00:53:34,745 --> 00:53:36,205
Well, here's the plain truth:
855
00:53:36,872 --> 00:53:38,624
By night, I tend bar to meet men,
856
00:53:38,749 --> 00:53:42,252
and by day, I hang out with
old people because they
don't have Timers.
857
00:53:43,504 --> 00:53:45,047
There's more to you than that,
right?
858
00:53:46,548 --> 00:53:48,133
- Yeah, I like to spend my...
- You know what?
859
00:53:48,425 --> 00:53:50,636
Don't answer, if you can't
be sincere, okay?.
860
00:53:58,394 --> 00:53:59,436
Get up, flake!
861
00:54:01,647 --> 00:54:02,731
Who raised you?
862
00:54:02,898 --> 00:54:05,067
When you say you're gonna
be somewhere, you be there!
863
00:54:05,442 --> 00:54:07,611
Jeez, Steph! God!
864
00:54:07,986 --> 00:54:08,987
What's the big deal?
865
00:54:09,154 --> 00:54:11,824
The big deal is, you stood up
a reasonably attractive,
866
00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:15,119
shockingly nice, albeit completely
emotionally stunted man
867
00:54:15,285 --> 00:54:16,870
in dire need of true love.
868
00:54:17,037 --> 00:54:19,081
Not unlike your sorry ass.
869
00:54:21,667 --> 00:54:22,960
- Are you naked?
- What? No!
870
00:54:23,919 --> 00:54:24,753
I'm wearing a robe.
871
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,755
But you're naked underneath.
You don't sleep naked.
872
00:54:26,922 --> 00:54:28,549
- Sometimes, I do.
- No, you don't.
873
00:54:28,716 --> 00:54:30,300
You think it makes a
rapist's job easier.
874
00:54:30,926 --> 00:54:32,052
- Who's here?
- Nobody!
875
00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:33,762
Nobody's here.
876
00:54:35,848 --> 00:54:37,349
Since when do you lie to me?
877
00:54:40,769 --> 00:54:43,147
Hey. I'm Mikey. You're Steph, right?
878
00:54:44,356 --> 00:54:46,024
Don't wear it out. Uh...
879
00:54:47,651 --> 00:54:49,194
This is the four-month guy, right?
880
00:54:50,779 --> 00:54:55,576
Yeah. Two months and 12 days,
but yeah, it's him.
881
00:54:57,202 --> 00:54:58,746
Oona. What are you doing?
882
00:55:00,456 --> 00:55:03,000
- Have you been seeing him
this whole time?
- Yeah, I have.
883
00:55:03,500 --> 00:55:05,794
And it's fine.
I have it under control.
884
00:55:05,961 --> 00:55:07,254
- Under control?
- Ladies...
885
00:55:07,421 --> 00:55:08,964
You're seriously deluded, my friend.
886
00:55:09,131 --> 00:55:12,176
Why? Because I'm enjoying
spending time with somebody?
887
00:55:12,342 --> 00:55:14,386
Because I'm not a total slave
to the Timer?
888
00:55:14,511 --> 00:55:17,639
No, because he's gonna break
your heart into a million
tiny little pieces--
889
00:55:17,806 --> 00:55:19,141
- I think...
- I know self-destructive,
890
00:55:19,308 --> 00:55:20,309
- this is it!
- I think...
891
00:55:20,476 --> 00:55:22,019
- I think it might help if I...
- Spit it out, Sparky.
892
00:55:22,561 --> 00:55:24,021
- Mikey.
- What'd I say?
893
00:55:24,730 --> 00:55:25,647
My Timer.
894
00:55:26,148 --> 00:55:27,024
What about it?
895
00:55:28,734 --> 00:55:29,860
Oh my god!
896
00:55:30,027 --> 00:55:32,196
Whoa, whoa, guys, guys, no.
It-- It's fake.
897
00:55:32,905 --> 00:55:35,199
Look, see? It just, sticks on.
898
00:55:38,827 --> 00:55:40,078
It's fake?
899
00:55:41,079 --> 00:55:43,415
You... You're not zeroing-out?
900
00:55:45,334 --> 00:55:46,543
You don't have a Timer at all?
901
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:48,045
No, I don't.
902
00:55:50,605 --> 00:55:51,334
Uh-oh.
903
00:55:51,423 --> 00:55:53,967
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- No wait, I can explain this...
904
00:55:54,134 --> 00:55:56,637
- No, please, explain.
- No no, I can, look. Uh...
905
00:55:57,304 --> 00:56:00,098
Wretch found these things online,
906
00:56:00,265 --> 00:56:03,477
you can just set the timer for
whatever you want. People who
are so obsessed with them,
907
00:56:03,644 --> 00:56:06,814
I just figured that it'll
take the pressure off.
908
00:56:06,980 --> 00:56:09,942
You mean you use it to pick up
women, kinda like a fake wedding ring.
909
00:56:10,275 --> 00:56:12,236
That's actually kinda clever. Sorry.
910
00:56:12,694 --> 00:56:15,989
No. I mean... Yeah, that's
what they're meant for.
911
00:56:16,490 --> 00:56:19,326
But I just wanted a chance
to see if I like the person,
912
00:56:19,493 --> 00:56:21,161
and if they like me back.
913
00:56:21,620 --> 00:56:23,747
I mean, you said yourself,
you're different with
Timerless guys,
914
00:56:23,914 --> 00:56:25,916
so don't you think that we got
to know each other, for real?
915
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:30,838
Yeah. Except you were lying
to me the whole time.
916
00:56:37,553 --> 00:56:38,929
I didn't want to meet you like this.
917
00:56:41,390 --> 00:56:42,599
In your boxers?
918
00:56:43,934 --> 00:56:44,810
With a Timer.
919
00:56:46,603 --> 00:56:47,980
Hey. Thanks.
920
00:56:49,064 --> 00:56:50,107
Nice to meet you.
921
00:56:50,274 --> 00:56:51,525
Is this where you pull away again?
922
00:56:51,692 --> 00:56:53,861
No, this is where I
kick you out of my house.
923
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,947
Fine. Great.
924
00:56:57,948 --> 00:56:59,658
Maybe you can chase after me this time,
925
00:57:00,284 --> 00:57:03,203
or maybe if you figure out
that me not having a Timer
is a good thing,
926
00:57:03,370 --> 00:57:04,413
call me.
927
00:58:14,483 --> 00:58:15,067
Hi.
928
00:58:16,401 --> 00:58:16,985
Hi.
929
00:58:18,654 --> 00:58:21,114
I don't think I have anything
to be sorry about, but I am.
930
00:58:23,742 --> 00:58:25,077
Kinda felt like an apology.
931
00:58:26,703 --> 00:58:27,537
You're right.
932
00:58:29,456 --> 00:58:31,041
You should be the one who's sorry.
933
00:58:32,793 --> 00:58:33,585
I am.
934
00:58:34,378 --> 00:58:35,462
I should've told you.
935
00:58:37,464 --> 00:58:38,674
Yes, you should have.
936
00:58:39,341 --> 00:58:40,258
I just said that.
937
00:58:41,051 --> 00:58:41,802
Okay.
938
00:58:44,262 --> 00:58:46,306
- Did you just come here
to make me feel bad?
- No.
939
00:58:50,310 --> 00:58:54,272
I just thought maybe we could
hang out again.
940
00:58:57,025 --> 00:58:58,777
After this weekend, of course.
941
00:59:01,363 --> 00:59:02,614
Well, that depends.
942
00:59:04,866 --> 00:59:05,575
On what?
943
00:59:07,661 --> 00:59:08,662
What's this weekend?
944
00:59:09,871 --> 00:59:10,956
Thanksgiving.
945
00:59:12,749 --> 00:59:13,458
Right.
946
00:59:15,711 --> 00:59:17,045
You don't have any plans?
947
00:59:19,673 --> 00:59:21,258
Okay, so, um...
948
00:59:21,466 --> 00:59:24,886
My Mom is a little crazy.
But totally lovable.
949
00:59:25,220 --> 00:59:27,472
My stepdad Paul is much more sane,
950
00:59:27,639 --> 00:59:28,682
so just talk to him.
951
00:59:29,099 --> 00:59:30,058
A tire swing.
952
00:59:30,225 --> 00:59:32,561
Oh! My brother Jesse.
Great kid.
953
00:59:32,728 --> 00:59:35,230
And his One and her entire
family are gonna be here,
954
00:59:35,397 --> 00:59:37,149
and it's kinda awkward, so
don't make it worse, okay?
955
00:59:37,607 --> 00:59:40,360
And you've met my sister Steph,
and learned not to leave your...
956
00:59:40,652 --> 00:59:42,112
jugular exposed. Ready?
957
00:59:45,699 --> 00:59:46,700
Hi!
958
00:59:46,992 --> 00:59:48,535
Don't get up. Sorry.
959
00:59:49,703 --> 00:59:52,289
This is my Mom, Marion DePaul.
960
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:55,375
That's my stepdad, Paul.
961
00:59:56,251 --> 00:59:58,170
You know my sister, Steph.
962
00:59:58,336 --> 01:00:02,007
My brother Jesse, Soledad,
and her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Morales.
963
01:00:04,051 --> 01:00:05,010
Hi, I'm Mikey.
964
01:00:05,302 --> 01:00:07,012
Right. Sorry.
965
01:00:08,346 --> 01:00:10,098
This is Michael Evers, everybody.
966
01:00:10,265 --> 01:00:12,392
Well, we're so glad
you could join us.
967
01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:15,604
Paul is just mashing the guacamole.
968
01:00:23,570 --> 01:00:25,655
- It's-- Yeah, okay.
- Alright.
969
01:00:25,822 --> 01:00:28,617
I'm sure Oona's told you the happy news,
970
01:00:28,784 --> 01:00:30,160
that Soledad is joining our family.
971
01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:33,413
Oh yeah, absolutely. Congratulations.
Felicidades.
972
01:00:34,164 --> 01:00:35,165
Gracias.
973
01:00:36,541 --> 01:00:37,501
Uh... Margarita, Mikey?
974
01:00:38,418 --> 01:00:40,378
Oh, whoah, whoah. Let's
see some ID there, Sparky.
975
01:00:40,879 --> 01:00:44,216
Actually, I'm just fine with
water, thank you Mr. DePaul.
976
01:00:44,758 --> 01:00:45,967
Always a pleasure, Steph.
977
01:00:46,510 --> 01:00:48,637
I'll have one. Thanks.
978
01:00:52,140 --> 01:00:53,558
Let's make a toast.
979
01:00:54,392 --> 01:00:57,104
To two families becoming one.
980
01:01:02,025 --> 01:01:02,776
Cheers.
981
01:01:03,693 --> 01:01:06,822
So Oona. You've told me
so little about Michael.
982
01:01:07,114 --> 01:01:08,865
- How did you two meet?
- Thank you.
983
01:01:09,741 --> 01:01:13,245
Mikey's a musician.
We met at one of his concerts.
984
01:01:13,411 --> 01:01:15,163
- Oh, what do you play?
- He's a drummer.
985
01:01:15,705 --> 01:01:17,791
Yeah, his band is very successful.
986
01:01:20,460 --> 01:01:22,045
What's your band called again?
987
01:01:22,212 --> 01:01:22,921
Truckbeef.
988
01:01:23,547 --> 01:01:24,589
Did you say "Upchuck"?
989
01:01:25,132 --> 01:01:25,882
Truckbeef!
990
01:01:26,633 --> 01:01:27,551
You've heard of us?
991
01:01:28,093 --> 01:01:29,970
Just that one song,
"Love Is A Hot Mess."
992
01:01:30,137 --> 01:01:31,471
It was a self-released
single, right?
993
01:01:32,472 --> 01:01:34,432
Yes. Yes, it was.
You've blown my mind.
994
01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:39,771
So, Michael.
Where are you from, originally?
995
01:01:39,938 --> 01:01:40,981
Excuse me.
996
01:01:41,356 --> 01:01:42,983
Kalamazoo, Michigan. For real.
997
01:01:44,359 --> 01:01:46,403
Is that why you don't have a Timer?
998
01:01:47,195 --> 01:01:49,406
Sort of. That, and I really
don't believe in it.
999
01:01:58,999 --> 01:02:00,584
Quieres un burrito, Mikey?
1000
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:02,627
Oh, Si. Por supuesto.
1001
01:02:12,888 --> 01:02:15,098
That went well.
Didn't it go well?
1002
01:02:15,557 --> 01:02:18,560
- I think it went well.
- It went well. Are you okay?
1003
01:02:19,603 --> 01:02:20,478
Of course, why?
1004
01:02:21,021 --> 01:02:22,814
You just seem a little tense.
1005
01:02:23,356 --> 01:02:24,191
I'm fine.
1006
01:03:05,857 --> 01:03:09,069
Is this thing gonna...
light up, or buzz...?
1007
01:03:09,444 --> 01:03:09,986
Both.
1008
01:03:16,534 --> 01:03:19,871
So, tell me again why it is
you never got a Timer?
1009
01:03:22,540 --> 01:03:24,125
Uh, I don't know.
It just never happened, I guess.
1010
01:03:29,005 --> 01:03:29,881
Um, why not?
1011
01:03:32,467 --> 01:03:36,429
I guess, it was because I was
in Michigan at the time, and...
1012
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:42,102
It was about 8 years ago that
I was old enough to get one.
1013
01:03:42,644 --> 01:03:46,773
People were still a little
freaked out by it then. Now everyone
in my old high school has one.
1014
01:03:47,607 --> 01:03:49,651
I just didn't want to conform,
I guess.
1015
01:03:53,571 --> 01:03:54,864
You're 22?
1016
01:03:56,324 --> 01:03:58,910
Yeah. A little worse
than you thought?
1017
01:03:59,703 --> 01:04:02,247
Yeah, it's way worse, actually.
1018
01:04:07,502 --> 01:04:09,087
Did it just buzz?
1019
01:04:09,462 --> 01:04:10,338
No.
1020
01:04:13,425 --> 01:04:14,634
He's a nice young man.
1021
01:04:16,052 --> 01:04:17,012
Mom.
1022
01:04:17,887 --> 01:04:19,306
What's wrong with that?
1023
01:04:19,723 --> 01:04:21,725
It's like you've seen
a play that you hate,
1024
01:04:21,891 --> 01:04:23,685
and the only thing you
can think to say is,
1025
01:04:23,852 --> 01:04:26,604
"However did you manage to
learn all those lines?".
1026
01:04:27,355 --> 01:04:29,149
Why don't you just say
what you really think?
1027
01:04:29,316 --> 01:04:30,442
That he's too young,
1028
01:04:30,692 --> 01:04:33,403
he's uneducated,
that he's outmatched.
1029
01:04:34,112 --> 01:04:35,655
Seems to me that's
what you're thinking.
1030
01:04:37,282 --> 01:04:40,493
I am only concerned that you've
become too attached to this boy.
1031
01:04:40,660 --> 01:04:42,662
What about "No stone unturned" ?
1032
01:04:43,621 --> 01:04:45,707
I would be thrilled if he got a Timer.
1033
01:04:45,874 --> 01:04:49,210
If he's your One,
I would be overjoyed.
1034
01:04:49,669 --> 01:04:52,130
But I doubt if you'll get him
to agree to get one,
1035
01:04:52,881 --> 01:04:54,883
He's very reminiscent of your father.
1036
01:04:55,508 --> 01:04:56,509
In what way?
1037
01:04:57,260 --> 01:04:58,428
Well, he's a musician...
1038
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:03,725
That's superficial, I guess, but
he has that same charming, boyish,
1039
01:05:03,892 --> 01:05:06,269
tumbling tumbleweed quality.
1040
01:05:07,270 --> 01:05:09,898
It's very seductive, I know.
1041
01:05:11,107 --> 01:05:12,901
What kind of mother would I be
if I didn't help you
1042
01:05:13,026 --> 01:05:14,944
avoid the mistakes that I made?
1043
01:05:15,695 --> 01:05:18,156
Well, if my father's a mistake,
then I'm a mistake, right?
1044
01:05:18,323 --> 01:05:19,824
Oona. That's childish.
1045
01:05:23,244 --> 01:05:25,538
Look, I know you'd do it all
over again for me.
1046
01:05:25,705 --> 01:05:27,916
But you can't talk about Paul
being your soulmate
1047
01:05:28,083 --> 01:05:30,794
and me being the daughter you were
meant to have in the same breath.
1048
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:32,712
These are two different paths.
1049
01:05:35,799 --> 01:05:36,716
I gotta go.
1050
01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:40,387
- I thought you were staying for dinner?
- No, Mikey and I are going out.
1051
01:05:55,026 --> 01:05:55,944
Can I ask you something?
1052
01:05:57,362 --> 01:05:58,279
Can I stop you?
1053
01:05:58,988 --> 01:05:59,656
No.
1054
01:06:01,866 --> 01:06:04,744
What's the deal with
boobs that point out?
1055
01:06:07,497 --> 01:06:08,581
I'm not following.
1056
01:06:10,208 --> 01:06:13,169
OK. Like, your boobs, they face
front, and they're awesome.
1057
01:06:14,129 --> 01:06:17,173
I'm talking about the girls' boobs
that like, sway out towards their arms.
1058
01:06:17,924 --> 01:06:18,842
That's weird.
1059
01:06:20,009 --> 01:06:22,137
It's like a lazy eye or something,
like which one do I look at?
1060
01:06:24,013 --> 01:06:28,226
Unless like, they're really
far away, and it looks normal,
1061
01:06:28,935 --> 01:06:30,103
but then you wave a few bills,
1062
01:06:30,228 --> 01:06:32,981
and they come on over, and it's like,
"Hey. Which one do I look at?"
1063
01:06:35,733 --> 01:06:38,111
Then I think it's just that they
sleep on their stomachs too much,
1064
01:06:38,278 --> 01:06:39,821
and that's what the deal is.
1065
01:06:40,655 --> 01:06:41,865
Unless it's genetic.
1066
01:06:42,615 --> 01:06:44,159
Jesus, if it's genetic, then...
1067
01:06:44,409 --> 01:06:46,870
their babies' babies are
gonna have tits on their back.
1068
01:06:50,415 --> 01:06:52,083
Hey. I got you something.
1069
01:06:54,085 --> 01:06:55,587
It's a few more songs we recorded.
1070
01:06:56,629 --> 01:06:58,590
You might like the track
"You Straighten My Teeth".
1071
01:06:59,382 --> 01:07:01,092
- That's catchy.
- Thank you.
1072
01:07:02,802 --> 01:07:04,304
So when do I get to see you again?
1073
01:07:05,096 --> 01:07:08,558
Or more specifically, when do I get to
see your nice, front-facing boobs again?
1074
01:07:08,850 --> 01:07:11,019
I don't know.
Maybe when you grow up.
1075
01:07:13,771 --> 01:07:14,814
What's your problem?
1076
01:07:16,608 --> 01:07:17,775
Mikey...
1077
01:07:19,152 --> 01:07:21,112
I'm turning 30, this weekend.
1078
01:07:23,364 --> 01:07:25,283
This is a "biological clock" thing?
1079
01:07:26,326 --> 01:07:29,329
It's everything!
You know, I mean...
1080
01:07:29,746 --> 01:07:32,707
I don't have time to
stand still like this.
1081
01:07:32,874 --> 01:07:35,752
We did the thing where we pretended
that the Timer didn't matter,
1082
01:07:35,919 --> 01:07:38,296
and I'll grant you,
it was a lot of fun.
1083
01:07:38,546 --> 01:07:41,174
But now that I know you
have this virgin wrist,
1084
01:07:41,341 --> 01:07:43,176
it's back to mattering.
Where is my shoe?!
1085
01:07:43,468 --> 01:07:46,387
"Virgin wrist"? What the fuck
are you talking about? Who are you?
1086
01:07:46,930 --> 01:07:49,140
See, this is why I don't want
a Timer, 'cause it's fucked up.
1087
01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:55,188
I need an answer.
I am tired of waiting.
1088
01:07:55,563 --> 01:07:56,773
Okay. Okay.
1089
01:07:57,482 --> 01:07:58,650
Say I get a Timer,
1090
01:07:58,983 --> 01:08:01,319
and it says that me and you
are supposed to be together
forever and ever
1091
01:08:01,486 --> 01:08:02,654
that'll satisfy you, right?
1092
01:08:03,947 --> 01:08:04,531
Yes.
1093
01:08:04,697 --> 01:08:07,158
You're gonna trust a little
piece of plastic over what
I can tell you, right now?
1094
01:08:07,325 --> 01:08:08,368
You're not telling me anything!
1095
01:08:08,535 --> 01:08:09,827
I'm telling you that I love you!
1096
01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:17,460
I don't know what that means.
1097
01:08:22,090 --> 01:08:23,258
Jesus, Oona.
1098
01:08:25,260 --> 01:08:26,344
What do you want?
1099
01:08:29,305 --> 01:08:30,431
A guarantee.
1100
01:08:34,102 --> 01:08:34,519
No.
1101
01:08:35,436 --> 01:08:39,065
Your problem isn't that
I can't give you a guarantee,
it's that you can't give me one.
1102
01:08:48,658 --> 01:08:49,409
Are you kidding?
1103
01:09:22,275 --> 01:09:23,443
I need to do something.
1104
01:09:24,611 --> 01:09:26,904
- No kidding. What?
- I'm going to see Rick.
1105
01:09:28,031 --> 01:09:29,073
Holy shit!
1106
01:09:29,324 --> 01:09:31,242
Uh... I get off in 20 minutes.
1107
01:09:33,786 --> 01:09:34,912
Oh, screw it. Let's go.
1108
01:09:39,042 --> 01:09:41,294
Little different than the
apartment you grew up in, huh?
1109
01:09:42,253 --> 01:09:43,004
Yeah.
1110
01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:45,965
I slept on an ironing board,
that folded up in the wall.
1111
01:09:47,550 --> 01:09:48,843
You think he'll recognize me?
1112
01:09:49,093 --> 01:09:50,845
You grew boobs, not a new head.
1113
01:09:59,437 --> 01:10:01,147
Not too late to Ding-Dong-Ditch.
1114
01:10:01,522 --> 01:10:02,982
You got a bag of dog shit on you?
1115
01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:10,156
Hi!
1116
01:10:10,865 --> 01:10:11,991
Hi, uh...
1117
01:10:12,367 --> 01:10:13,618
We're here to see Rick.
1118
01:10:15,453 --> 01:10:16,245
Regarding?
1119
01:10:17,163 --> 01:10:18,873
Oh. Oh, no, no.
1120
01:10:19,207 --> 01:10:21,209
No, no, not like that. No.
1121
01:10:21,376 --> 01:10:23,670
This is weird. I'm his daughter.
1122
01:10:30,051 --> 01:10:30,760
Rick?
1123
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:33,971
These girls are here to see you.
1124
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:39,602
Hi.
1125
01:10:42,605 --> 01:10:43,690
Can I use your bathroom?
1126
01:10:44,065 --> 01:10:45,775
Sure.
Excuse me.
1127
01:10:52,657 --> 01:10:55,326
Sorry I didn't call
before I came by.
1128
01:10:55,493 --> 01:10:58,454
That's fine.
Uh, please, have a seat.
1129
01:11:01,749 --> 01:11:02,625
How are you?
1130
01:11:03,376 --> 01:11:04,127
Great.
1131
01:11:07,004 --> 01:11:09,674
This might be totally inappropriate,
but I have a friend...
1132
01:11:10,758 --> 01:11:13,469
He may or may not be talented,
but anyway, he's in a band,
1133
01:11:13,636 --> 01:11:16,097
and I just thought maybe you
could look at his CD demo.
1134
01:11:16,472 --> 01:11:17,223
Oh.
1135
01:11:17,682 --> 01:11:18,433
No problem.
1136
01:11:25,022 --> 01:11:26,274
Okay, so you know what?
1137
01:11:26,858 --> 01:11:29,235
I don't wanna take any more of your time
1138
01:11:29,402 --> 01:11:31,237
I was just really hoping that maybe...
1139
01:11:31,946 --> 01:11:35,032
You could tell me why it is
you never got a Timer.
1140
01:11:35,199 --> 01:11:38,745
I know it totally offends your
bohemian sensibilities
1141
01:11:38,911 --> 01:11:40,538
- and everything, but...
- I have a Timer.
1142
01:11:42,749 --> 01:11:43,374
What?
1143
01:11:45,543 --> 01:11:46,794
When did you get a Timer?
1144
01:11:47,712 --> 01:11:49,422
Before you and your mother left.
1145
01:11:53,926 --> 01:11:56,053
- I thought you refused.
- No.
1146
01:11:56,637 --> 01:11:57,847
It was my idea.
1147
01:11:58,598 --> 01:12:01,893
I knew everything was gonna
fall apart, before you were born.
1148
01:12:03,060 --> 01:12:06,689
But Marion couldn't give up.
1149
01:12:07,899 --> 01:12:09,734
I thought if I got a Timer,
1150
01:12:10,234 --> 01:12:13,488
that she could
see it a little clearer.
1151
01:12:16,908 --> 01:12:18,242
When did you zero-out?
1152
01:12:18,659 --> 01:12:19,535
I haven't, yet.
1153
01:12:20,828 --> 01:12:22,038
Can you believe it?
1154
01:12:24,207 --> 01:12:26,375
Couple of more lessons
to learn, I guess.
1155
01:12:30,963 --> 01:12:31,839
Let's go.
1156
01:12:34,634 --> 01:12:36,636
Thank you.
It was nice to meet you.
1157
01:12:41,682 --> 01:12:42,767
I had it removed.
1158
01:12:43,226 --> 01:12:44,977
Your Dad isn't my One.
1159
01:12:45,728 --> 01:12:46,521
But I love him.
1160
01:12:47,438 --> 01:12:48,731
Fuck it. You know?
1161
01:12:55,780 --> 01:12:57,949
Hell yeah! We should have
done this, like, years ago.
1162
01:12:58,115 --> 01:12:59,408
This is gonna be better than that time
1163
01:12:59,575 --> 01:13:01,744
we convinced Katie Meyers
to shave her eyebrows.
1164
01:13:01,869 --> 01:13:02,995
- Oh, yeah.
- Oona?
1165
01:13:03,162 --> 01:13:04,664
Haven't seen you for a while.
1166
01:13:04,872 --> 01:13:07,291
Oh, girl, you weren't kidding
about process of elimination!
1167
01:13:07,792 --> 01:13:11,045
No. No.
This is my sister, Steph.
1168
01:13:11,379 --> 01:13:14,006
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
1169
01:13:14,590 --> 01:13:16,092
We want to get our Timers removed.
1170
01:13:17,468 --> 01:13:18,219
Removed?
1171
01:13:19,095 --> 01:13:20,638
- Like removed completely?
- Yes.
1172
01:13:21,222 --> 01:13:23,307
Oh, Oona, honey, you giving up?
1173
01:13:24,016 --> 01:13:25,685
- No.
- She's moving on.
1174
01:13:26,310 --> 01:13:27,061
We both are.
1175
01:13:27,353 --> 01:13:28,896
So, can you pop these
suckers off, or what?
1176
01:13:29,063 --> 01:13:31,607
I don't know.
I've never done a removal.
1177
01:13:31,899 --> 01:13:32,984
I'll have to talk to my manager.
1178
01:13:35,069 --> 01:13:37,613
Are you certain you want
to make this mistake?
1179
01:13:38,531 --> 01:13:40,366
- Absolutely.
- Damn straight!
1180
01:13:40,535 --> 01:13:46,247
Okay. Well, removal is more
painful than implantation.
1181
01:13:46,414 --> 01:13:48,958
One of the many reasons why
we advise against it.
1182
01:13:50,126 --> 01:13:52,003
You're aware there will be a noticeable scar.
1183
01:13:52,503 --> 01:13:54,422
That's cool. We're warriors.
1184
01:13:58,759 --> 01:14:00,678
- Wow, that is ancient!
- My god, that's incredible.
1185
01:14:01,095 --> 01:14:01,888
It's so old!
1186
01:14:02,054 --> 01:14:03,973
How about we limit the ediorial comments?
1187
01:14:04,515 --> 01:14:05,266
Right. Sorry.
1188
01:14:08,728 --> 01:14:09,395
You ready?
1189
01:14:09,562 --> 01:14:11,105
Since I was 14.
1190
01:14:11,731 --> 01:14:12,273
Okay.
1191
01:14:13,065 --> 01:14:13,816
On the count of three.
1192
01:14:17,445 --> 01:14:18,029
One...
1193
01:14:21,073 --> 01:14:21,699
Two...
1194
01:14:22,950 --> 01:14:24,744
FUCK ME!
1195
01:14:28,039 --> 01:14:28,915
Wasn't that bad.
1196
01:14:29,373 --> 01:14:30,166
I'm fine.
1197
01:14:31,083 --> 01:14:31,834
What happened to three?
1198
01:14:37,131 --> 01:14:38,633
I feel ten pounds lighter.
1199
01:14:39,634 --> 01:14:40,426
Alright.
1200
01:14:41,052 --> 01:14:42,136
You're up, champ.
1201
01:14:44,055 --> 01:14:45,806
Marion's gonna flip her shit!
1202
01:14:47,099 --> 01:14:47,683
Good!
1203
01:14:48,809 --> 01:14:50,186
Now Oona, you do realize that
1204
01:14:50,353 --> 01:14:52,063
once the device is removed,
1205
01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:54,607
it damages the sensory area
irreparably.
1206
01:14:56,484 --> 01:14:58,069
Where was that warning
when I went?
1207
01:14:59,737 --> 01:15:00,988
What does that mean, exactly?
1208
01:15:01,238 --> 01:15:03,407
It means you can't get
another Timer implanted.
1209
01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:06,577
Your other wrist isn't a viable option.
One shot's all you've got.
1210
01:15:09,914 --> 01:15:11,499
Just... OK.
1211
01:15:13,584 --> 01:15:14,669
Question.
1212
01:15:14,961 --> 01:15:17,733
Do you think the Timer actually works,
1213
01:15:17,734 --> 01:15:20,091
or is it just a self-fulfilling prophecy?
1214
01:15:22,176 --> 01:15:25,346
The chicken, the egg...
It's all a big clusterfuck.
1215
01:15:29,350 --> 01:15:30,142
Oona?
1216
01:15:33,604 --> 01:15:34,647
I got you.
1217
01:15:37,274 --> 01:15:38,025
Okay.
1218
01:15:38,567 --> 01:15:40,736
- Yeah. Just, do it.
- Are you sure?
1219
01:15:40,780 --> 01:15:41,179
Mm-hm.
1220
01:15:41,904 --> 01:15:42,571
Okay.
1221
01:15:43,656 --> 01:15:44,407
Count of three.
1222
01:15:48,285 --> 01:15:48,911
One...
1223
01:15:50,955 --> 01:15:51,664
Two...
1224
01:15:57,253 --> 01:15:58,796
What... What is that?
1225
01:16:03,259 --> 01:16:04,510
What's happening?
1226
01:16:08,347 --> 01:16:09,515
This is crazy!
1227
01:16:10,016 --> 01:16:11,267
Wha-- what's crazy?
1228
01:16:11,559 --> 01:16:16,188
I guess that somewhere, out there,
your One just got a Timer.
1229
01:16:18,065 --> 01:16:20,109
- Holy shit!
- You're gonna meet him tomorrow!
1230
01:16:20,276 --> 01:16:23,654
No! No, no no. You made a mistake.
You just shorted it out or something.
1231
01:16:23,904 --> 01:16:24,864
I mean, there's no way!
1232
01:16:25,364 --> 01:16:26,365
That can't be real!
1233
01:16:27,158 --> 01:16:28,784
Even if it was, it doesn't matter.
1234
01:16:29,994 --> 01:16:33,205
Maybe it's Mikey, and he's the
next person you're gonna see, or...
1235
01:16:33,539 --> 01:16:37,501
it could be someone else, I guess.
Either way, you're gonna meet him.
1236
01:16:38,627 --> 01:16:40,254
You're still getting it removed, right?
1237
01:16:42,506 --> 01:16:43,799
Oona? Right?
1238
01:16:46,719 --> 01:16:47,553
I don't--
1239
01:16:49,138 --> 01:16:50,222
I don't know.
1240
01:16:52,808 --> 01:16:54,685
It's finally happening!
1241
01:17:04,528 --> 01:17:05,696
I'll be in the car.
1242
01:17:14,705 --> 01:17:15,664
You won't regret it.
1243
01:17:17,291 --> 01:17:20,586
That'll be $79.99 plus tax,
for your sister's removal.
1244
01:17:21,462 --> 01:17:22,922
Still did that.
1245
01:18:29,822 --> 01:18:32,366
Jesse. Man your post.
Hi!
1246
01:18:33,492 --> 01:18:35,494
You leave your spot one more time,
1247
01:18:35,661 --> 01:18:37,746
and I'm gonna make you listen to
one of my tapes with me, in my car.
1248
01:18:40,291 --> 01:18:43,169
Mikey! How're you? Come in!
They'll be here any minute.
1249
01:18:43,335 --> 01:18:45,880
- Glad you could come.
- Thank you for inviting me.
1250
01:18:51,218 --> 01:18:52,469
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
1251
01:18:55,931 --> 01:18:57,600
Dude, I am not moving.
1252
01:19:01,937 --> 01:19:03,147
- Hi.
- Hi.
1253
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:09,695
- Dan.
- Mike.
1254
01:19:09,862 --> 01:19:10,779
Nice to meet you.
1255
01:19:12,323 --> 01:19:13,616
Are you a part of the family?
1256
01:19:14,116 --> 01:19:15,492
Uh, no. Just a friend.
1257
01:19:16,452 --> 01:19:17,203
Me too.
1258
01:19:17,953 --> 01:19:19,330
Mom, she's here.
1259
01:19:19,830 --> 01:19:22,583
Quiet, everybody! Quiet! Shh!
They're here, they're here!
1260
01:19:22,833 --> 01:19:24,877
Mikey! Come on, come on!
1261
01:19:25,544 --> 01:19:26,962
Okay, hit the lights!
1262
01:19:40,100 --> 01:19:42,186
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
1263
01:19:44,438 --> 01:19:45,397
Steph, where's Oona?
1264
01:19:47,775 --> 01:19:49,151
I don't know.
We didn't come together.
1265
01:19:50,861 --> 01:19:53,239
- Well, that's okay.
- Happy birthday, sweetheart.
1266
01:20:09,838 --> 01:20:10,506
What?
1267
01:20:11,006 --> 01:20:12,591
You look great.
1268
01:20:14,426 --> 01:20:15,177
Shit!
1269
01:20:16,053 --> 01:20:18,138
That's not the reaction
I expected, but...
1270
01:20:19,682 --> 01:20:20,933
I want to crush them.
1271
01:20:23,185 --> 01:20:24,520
Do it. It's your birthday.
1272
01:20:44,748 --> 01:20:46,417
Mi hija. Puritan Meyos if?
1273
01:20:46,917 --> 01:20:47,960
Lo tienes you well.
1274
01:20:56,885 --> 01:20:57,469
Hey.
1275
01:21:25,456 --> 01:21:26,957
That's perfect, thank you.
1276
01:21:27,374 --> 01:21:28,625
Excuse me, Ms. DePaul?
1277
01:21:29,877 --> 01:21:31,462
Luz would like me to
translate for her.
1278
01:21:31,587 --> 01:21:32,671
Oh, wonderful.
1279
01:21:34,923 --> 01:21:36,884
No tenemos que ser amigas.
1280
01:21:37,051 --> 01:21:38,218
We're not friends.
1281
01:21:39,094 --> 01:21:40,095
I'm so sorry.
1282
01:21:40,262 --> 01:21:42,973
No, no no. I'm a little rusty.
1283
01:21:43,265 --> 01:21:46,810
What she said was, you two...
don't have to be friends.
1284
01:21:47,227 --> 01:21:48,103
Okay.
1285
01:21:48,270 --> 01:21:51,690
Hubiera sido mejor si en
unos, dos o tres años
1286
01:21:52,024 --> 01:21:56,320
Jesse y Soledad hubieran
passado a salir en secreto.
1287
01:21:57,988 --> 01:21:59,448
It would have been easier
1288
01:21:59,740 --> 01:22:03,160
if Jesse and Soledad had started
seeing each other in secret.
1289
01:22:03,494 --> 01:22:07,706
Y si viso hubieramos descuvierto
irritando, llorano.
1290
01:22:07,873 --> 01:22:12,169
And then we had found out about it,
disapproving, yelling, screaming...
1291
01:22:12,336 --> 01:22:14,421
Andriamos que aceptar su amor y
1292
01:22:14,546 --> 01:22:17,257
nuestras familias despues
de que secaran.
1293
01:22:17,716 --> 01:22:21,428
...forcing us to accept their
love and each other's families
1294
01:22:21,720 --> 01:22:22,638
after they were married.
1295
01:22:23,305 --> 01:22:25,140
Oh, I would have
preferred that, too.
1296
01:22:26,725 --> 01:22:29,770
Yo tambien lo preferia?
1297
01:22:32,564 --> 01:22:33,190
Pues...
1298
01:22:33,816 --> 01:22:37,444
Y por ahora, yo estoy su callara
y usted la dueña de la casa.
1299
01:22:37,861 --> 01:22:40,614
For now, I'm your housekeeper,
and you are my boss.
1300
01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:45,035
Well. That's a good plan.
Isn't that a good plan?
1301
01:22:45,202 --> 01:22:46,537
Well done, Luz.
1302
01:22:46,703 --> 01:22:49,456
Uh, es un bien plan.
Muy bien, Luz.
1303
01:22:49,623 --> 01:22:50,666
Gracias.
1304
01:22:50,833 --> 01:22:51,834
Gracias.
1305
01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:27,744
No, it's like a magic trick.
1306
01:23:28,745 --> 01:23:30,706
No, no, I don't know any.
1307
01:23:35,002 --> 01:23:36,003
Oona!
1308
01:23:36,420 --> 01:23:37,212
Hi.
1309
01:23:37,379 --> 01:23:39,465
Jesse! Steph! Paul!
1310
01:23:40,424 --> 01:23:41,592
Just want to be included.
1311
01:23:43,010 --> 01:23:45,804
Everybody!
The birthday girls!
1312
01:23:58,358 --> 01:23:59,776
Oona, your Timer.
1313
01:24:05,866 --> 01:24:06,909
You got a Timer?
1314
01:24:07,868 --> 01:24:08,911
Uh, yeah, I did.
1315
01:24:09,286 --> 01:24:11,288
When did yours start counting down?
1316
01:24:12,831 --> 01:24:13,874
Uh, last night.
1317
01:24:15,417 --> 01:24:16,293
Steph!
1318
01:24:17,419 --> 01:24:20,547
Incidentally, I may have made
things worse by inviting Mikey.
1319
01:24:28,972 --> 01:24:30,849
- I'm Marion.
- Hi. Dan.
1320
01:24:31,892 --> 01:24:33,519
- Paul.
- Hi. Dan.
1321
01:24:35,103 --> 01:24:36,230
Dan, what do you do?
1322
01:24:39,441 --> 01:24:40,317
Mikey!
1323
01:24:41,276 --> 01:24:42,110
Mikey!
1324
01:25:18,105 --> 01:25:20,399
It's gonna be hard to
cover that up.
1325
01:25:21,233 --> 01:25:22,442
No, laying shit bare is
1326
01:25:22,609 --> 01:25:24,861
kinda the theme of the night,
don't you think?
1327
01:25:27,573 --> 01:25:28,365
You okay?
1328
01:25:29,449 --> 01:25:30,242
What, are you kidding?
1329
01:25:32,869 --> 01:25:34,496
Do you... think we
should talk about this?
1330
01:25:34,663 --> 01:25:36,164
There's nothing to talk about.
1331
01:25:37,332 --> 01:25:40,002
God, I was just being nice to you.
1332
01:25:40,168 --> 01:25:42,754
All fresh off the bus, I didn't
want to see you get seduced by
1333
01:25:43,005 --> 01:25:45,173
the adult film industry,
or L. Ron Hubbard.
1334
01:25:51,597 --> 01:25:52,306
Hi.
1335
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,142
Hi.
1336
01:25:57,978 --> 01:26:00,105
This is a fucking
Greek tragedy, up in here.
1337
01:26:01,148 --> 01:26:02,816
I-- I should leave.
1338
01:26:03,317 --> 01:26:04,109
No, you know what...
1339
01:26:04,568 --> 01:26:06,528
I should go. I'll go.
1340
01:26:07,321 --> 01:26:09,489
Give you two, um, some privacy.
1341
01:26:09,656 --> 01:26:12,117
Steph, please stay. Talk to me.
1342
01:26:14,202 --> 01:26:15,245
Okay, um...
1343
01:26:17,873 --> 01:26:20,167
You're an unforgivable bitch
for bogarting
1344
01:26:20,334 --> 01:26:22,586
the one quasi-romantic happiness
I've ever known.
1345
01:26:23,879 --> 01:26:26,340
Nobody's, uh... bogarting...
1346
01:26:26,465 --> 01:26:29,092
- I don't need your help, okay?
- You know what, don't
talk to him like that.
1347
01:26:30,135 --> 01:26:32,304
You're gonna be pissed at me,
but not at him?
1348
01:26:32,429 --> 01:26:34,431
He's the one who suddenly
decided to get a Timer
1349
01:26:34,723 --> 01:26:37,017
at the most colossally
inconvenient time ever!
1350
01:26:37,184 --> 01:26:38,769
I had no idea it was
gonna be this bad...
1351
01:26:38,935 --> 01:26:41,605
Hey. New guy, since you took your
sweet time showing up in my life
1352
01:26:41,772 --> 01:26:43,857
can you just give me a few more
minutes alone with my sister?
1353
01:26:44,024 --> 01:26:45,943
Would you stop being
such a bitch to him?
1354
01:26:46,068 --> 01:26:47,486
Can you stop being
such a bitch to me?
1355
01:26:47,653 --> 01:26:50,822
I'm just mad, okay?
I'm allowed to be mad.
1356
01:26:50,947 --> 01:26:53,950
It's not exactly fair that
you get everything, and I...
1357
01:26:56,370 --> 01:26:58,246
We watched everybody
we know zero-out.
1358
01:26:58,413 --> 01:27:00,624
But yu and I, we've always
had our fucked-up Timers.
1359
01:27:00,749 --> 01:27:02,459
It was us, and them.
1360
01:27:04,795 --> 01:27:06,088
I'm not a "them".
1361
01:27:08,548 --> 01:27:09,758
Oona, you are.
1362
01:27:14,638 --> 01:27:16,765
- Can you just give us a minute?
- No problem.
1363
01:27:22,896 --> 01:27:23,563
You know...
1364
01:27:24,231 --> 01:27:26,942
I got the Timer
because of you, Steph.
1365
01:27:28,276 --> 01:27:29,861
Because spending time with you
1366
01:27:29,986 --> 01:27:31,988
made me not want
to be alone anymore.
1367
01:27:33,490 --> 01:27:36,243
And if there's any
upside to all this,
1368
01:27:36,410 --> 01:27:39,037
it's that now I know you're gonna
be part of my life for good.
1369
01:27:48,547 --> 01:27:50,048
"If there's any upside to this" ...
1370
01:27:51,007 --> 01:27:53,802
Sounds like you made a
great first impression.
1371
01:27:55,595 --> 01:27:56,346
Who is he?
1372
01:27:57,264 --> 01:27:58,223
That's Dan.
1373
01:27:58,807 --> 01:27:59,558
Your man.
1374
01:27:59,891 --> 01:28:02,436
How do I not know about a
whole man in your life?
1375
01:28:02,602 --> 01:28:05,063
You've been a little preoccupied
with your own shit lately.
1376
01:28:09,109 --> 01:28:09,735
Okay.
1377
01:28:13,447 --> 01:28:16,450
Well, then.
So this is, where we are.
1378
01:28:18,285 --> 01:28:19,119
I'm gonna go.
1379
01:28:19,703 --> 01:28:22,622
And you're gonna
stay here and be mad.
1380
01:28:23,206 --> 01:28:26,668
And you can sulk all
weekend long if you want to,
1381
01:28:26,835 --> 01:28:28,295
but come Monday morning,
you have to come home.
1382
01:28:29,254 --> 01:28:31,089
Because you're my favorite
person in the world.
1383
01:28:31,256 --> 01:28:33,675
And you were my One long before
any of these boys showed up.
1384
01:28:34,092 --> 01:28:34,885
It just--
1385
01:28:35,886 --> 01:28:37,763
It's just not worth it,
without you.
1386
01:29:14,841 --> 01:29:15,675
Hi.
1387
01:29:34,569 --> 01:29:35,695
Where are the boys?
1388
01:29:36,822 --> 01:29:38,782
At a gig in San Francisco.
1389
01:29:41,034 --> 01:29:41,910
You didn't go?
1390
01:29:43,495 --> 01:29:44,663
I had plans last night.
1391
01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:51,503
Fuck the Timer.
1392
01:29:53,004 --> 01:29:55,298
Really, I don't care
about it anymore.
1393
01:29:55,632 --> 01:29:57,676
It says I'm supposed to walk off
into the sunset with some stranger
1394
01:29:57,843 --> 01:30:00,303
and I don't accept that!
1395
01:30:00,637 --> 01:30:02,681
You're just freaking out because
now you have what you want.
1396
01:30:02,848 --> 01:30:04,933
I don't have what I want!
1397
01:30:06,017 --> 01:30:06,768
Look!
1398
01:30:07,269 --> 01:30:09,563
I got it removed. Okay?
1399
01:30:10,689 --> 01:30:12,315
And I know what you're thinking:
1400
01:30:12,607 --> 01:30:13,692
that it's moot,
1401
01:30:14,568 --> 01:30:16,236
that I already zeroed-out,
1402
01:30:16,403 --> 01:30:19,364
that we already know
who my supposed One is,
1403
01:30:19,531 --> 01:30:20,407
that it's too late,
1404
01:30:20,574 --> 01:30:22,200
and there's no going back,
1405
01:30:22,367 --> 01:30:24,494
and it's a pointless
gesture, right?
1406
01:30:26,329 --> 01:30:28,707
That's what you're
thinking, right?
1407
01:30:31,751 --> 01:30:33,628
No, I'm wondering if
"moot" is a real word.
1408
01:30:36,548 --> 01:30:37,507
It's too late.
1409
01:30:39,634 --> 01:30:42,762
How can it be too late?
You don't even believe in the Timer!
1410
01:30:42,929 --> 01:30:45,223
I don't believe that we should have
them, but I know that it works.
1411
01:30:46,141 --> 01:30:48,852
Well even if it does, who knows
how long it'll be before he and I...
1412
01:30:49,019 --> 01:30:50,437
A year from now, are we together?
1413
01:30:59,863 --> 01:31:01,865
A year is a long time.
1414
01:31:02,032 --> 01:31:03,617
See, for me, the answer's yes.
1415
01:31:05,535 --> 01:31:07,495
Of course, without a doubt,
we are together.
1416
01:31:10,040 --> 01:31:12,918
My answer isn't
because of the Timer.
1417
01:31:13,084 --> 01:31:13,627
I know that.
1418
01:31:15,921 --> 01:31:17,213
It's because you're
not in love with me.
1419
01:31:22,135 --> 01:31:24,846
I was in love with you.
1420
01:31:30,560 --> 01:31:32,354
I think I was.
1421
01:31:40,153 --> 01:31:42,364
I think I ruined it.
1422
01:31:43,323 --> 01:31:44,074
Didn't I?
1423
01:31:46,242 --> 01:31:46,993
Maybe.
1424
01:31:49,287 --> 01:31:51,581
You're being awfully stoic.
1425
01:31:53,166 --> 01:31:55,043
Okay, I don't know what
that means either,
1426
01:31:56,419 --> 01:31:59,673
but you broke my fucking heart
and I'm really trying to
be a man about it, okay?
1427
01:32:01,841 --> 01:32:03,760
So cut me some fucking slack here!
1428
01:32:09,808 --> 01:32:10,433
Ow, fuck!
1429
01:32:20,860 --> 01:32:23,863
Everything was so much easier
when you had a fake Timer.
1430
01:32:27,283 --> 01:32:29,202
Because you didn't have to
pretend we're something we're not.
1431
01:32:31,329 --> 01:32:34,624
No. Because I stopped sweating
my future, like you told me to.
1432
01:32:37,585 --> 01:32:40,213
I was just with you
and I loved it.
1433
01:32:44,134 --> 01:32:45,051
Well...
1434
01:32:46,011 --> 01:32:47,971
I do appreciate the
pointless gesture.
1435
01:32:54,644 --> 01:32:55,562
Is there a scar?
1436
01:32:58,815 --> 01:32:59,899
There will be.
1437
01:33:01,985 --> 01:33:03,028
You scarred me.
1438
01:33:06,865 --> 01:33:08,241
But in a good way?
1439
01:33:10,035 --> 01:33:10,910
In a good way.
1440
01:33:23,173 --> 01:33:25,592
I'm really glad you don't care
about the Timer anymore.
1441
01:33:29,888 --> 01:33:31,848
This way, you'll know, for sure.
1442
01:33:33,099 --> 01:33:33,975
About him.
1443
01:34:07,592 --> 01:34:09,511
It's 8:37 in the morning.
1444
01:34:09,803 --> 01:34:11,179
I thought you were dead.
1445
01:34:12,472 --> 01:34:13,223
Hi.
1446
01:34:14,808 --> 01:34:15,558
Hi.
1447
01:34:48,299 --> 01:34:49,551
They look weird, huh?
1448
01:34:55,265 --> 01:34:57,016
That's my, uh-- relay team.
1449
01:34:57,684 --> 01:35:01,187
I gave them those masks.
It's like these Bangladesh hunters...
1450
01:35:01,521 --> 01:35:05,441
Yeah. No, I know, I saw the special.
1451
01:35:07,026 --> 01:35:10,280
I know they wear them on the back
of their heads to deter hungry tigers.
1452
01:35:10,446 --> 01:35:11,406
Exactly, yeah.
1453
01:35:11,573 --> 01:35:14,367
It's to psych-out
your competitor, thing.
1454
01:35:14,534 --> 01:35:16,077
Yeah. So weird.
1455
01:35:16,244 --> 01:35:17,245
- Weird, yeah?
- Yeah.
1456
01:35:19,747 --> 01:35:21,249
So what are you doing on my track?
1457
01:35:21,666 --> 01:35:23,001
It's usually my track.
1458
01:35:23,168 --> 01:35:24,919
From 7:00 to 7:45.
1459
01:35:25,253 --> 01:35:27,130
Yeah. I got a late start
this morning.
1460
01:35:31,509 --> 01:35:33,845
I'm sorry I was so rude to you.
1461
01:35:35,138 --> 01:35:36,639
It's-- It's okay.
1462
01:35:45,899 --> 01:35:47,025
Please don't take it personally.
1463
01:35:48,651 --> 01:35:50,361
It's okay. I'm j--
1464
01:35:50,904 --> 01:35:54,073
Just glad you're alright.
When mine went blank, I was--
1465
01:35:54,240 --> 01:35:55,783
worried you got hit by a bus.
1466
01:36:00,079 --> 01:36:01,331
I'm okay.
1467
01:36:03,082 --> 01:36:05,251
I should get back to my relay team.
1468
01:36:06,586 --> 01:36:07,670
Yeah. Okay.
1469
01:36:12,008 --> 01:36:13,384
You should get a late start more often.
1470
01:36:18,389 --> 01:36:19,349
Alright.
105207
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