All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S05E01.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

[Fran]
Previously on

Uh, Miss Fine, Niles just had
a heart attack.

[gasps]

Oh, I'll tell you, it really
makes you think, doesn't it?

How unpredictable life can be.

That's right. That's why you
have to live every day
to the fullest.

-Mm-hmm. Never know when
it's gonna be your last.
-Nope.

[Fran] Oh, Mr. Sheffield...

Niles, I'm so glad you're awake.
How are you feeling?

Is there anything
I can get for you?

Well, I would like
another pillow.

Of course.

[C.C. screaming]

I tell you, Niles,
if I don't talk to someone soon,
I'll get an ulcer.

Yes, and God knows
your health should be
what's foremost on our minds.

Niles, when I was in that
hospital bed with Miss Fine,

I just I just lost
all self-control.

I became like a wild animal.

I just threw her down
on the bed and practically...

My God,
I practically ravished her.

Val, he was so gentle.
He was like a little lamb.

I was so intoxicated.
My head was reeling.

You know he sat on
a Demerol needle...

he didn't even know.

Then what happened?

Then we got to second base.

Oh, Fran, I only hope that
happens to me someday.

Oh, sir, I only hope that
happens to me someday.

I'll tell you, Niles, if C.C.
hadn't walked in when she did,

I don't know
what would've happened.

How do you stop yourself
when you're about to make love
to a beautiful woman?

Well, usually, I wake up.

I'm just afraid, Niles,
that Miss Fine might...

I might've left her
with the impression

that things were
moving a little faster
than they really are.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, you could admit
that you love the woman
and marry her

or you could invent
some stupid ploy
like redecorating a room

to distract her
and buy yourself more time.

Good. That's good.
Let's do that one.

Fran, I really have to go.

But, Val, I have so many
more things to tell you.

You're my best friend.
I need you.

-[Matthew] Miss Fine...
-Ciao.

Miss Fine, I have to talk to you
about our relationship

and the way
it seems to have escalated.

Wait a minute, you said
"our relationship"

and "escalate"
in the same sentence.

Should I book a hall?

I, uh... [clears throat]

I discussed this whole thing
with Niles and he suggested

I invent some stupid ploy
to distract you

and try to slow things down.

Did you fire him?

But I said,
"I don't want to distract her.

I say let this
relationship grow.
Let it blossom.

She's a beautiful woman.

She's warm, tender, caring."

My God, this room looks shabby.

Huh?

You know, I don't think
it's been redone for ages.

-[snaps fingers]
-Say, would you like to
redecorate it?

-Me?
-Great! Wonderful!

Take all the time you need.

I don't care
if it takes weeks, months.

A year and a half
would be perfect.

Oh, my God.

This sucks.

♪ She was working
in a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make up
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair
she was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪

Surprise! I got
a pecan coffee cake.

Oh, what's the surprise, Ma?

You brought it all the way here
and it arrived whole?

Oh...

Look at Miss Cocky-Comedienne
now that she's got a boyfriend.

Oh, Ma, it's over.

Mr. Sheffield does not wanna
deal with what happened.

In fact, he gave me
some stupid project
just to distract me.

Well, you just make him
deal with it.

How, Ma? By getting on
my hands and knees

and begging like some
desperate, lonely loser?

Although, they say
the third time's a charm.

Hey, if he thinks
redecorating is gonna change...

-He's letting you redecorate?
-Yeah.

He wants your taste
in his house?

Which room?

I'll give you a hint.

The one with the refrigerator.

The bedroom.

The kitchen.

Oy, the heart of the home.

Mazel tov,

He's moving your relationship
to the next level.

But, Mom, when am I
gonna get to the ultimate level
with him, already?

You mean the wedding?

Okay.

What are you doing?

This spice rack is not gonna go
with your new motif.

Oh, this is so exciting.

You're gonna have a ring
on that finger before I can say,

"Do you people
move refrigerators?"

So, Niles, when did the doctor
say you can start working again?

Oh, could be four weeks...

six months...

a year.

You know, one of the reasons
why I didn't move into a dorm

is because we have a butler.

-Hi.
-Oh, Miss Fine.

You shouldn't be carrying
such a heavy load on your own.

-Niles.
-Margaret.

-Brighton.
-Gracie.

-Fran.
-Sit. Sit.

Oh, hi, Ma, what are you
doing back here?

A mother can't come by to say
hello to her daughter?

Darling, why are you lugging
all that stuff?

I raised you to be a pointer,
not aschlepper.

Why don't you call
your big-shot decorator cousin,
Sheila, from Forest Hills?

Who, by the by,
has just finished doing
the entire Kennedy compound.

George Kennedy, Ma.

And besides, you know,
if I wanna prove
to Mr. Sheffield

what a great wife I can be,
I have to do this
whole thing myself

and show him that
I can be a real Martha Stewart.

This by you is a role model?

Why?

Where is Martha Stewart today?

Divorced.

Well, Mr. Sheffield's wife
decorated this entire house
all by herself.

And where is she today?

I rest my case.

[doorbell ringing]

Okay, Ma. Now, before I make
a total fool of myself,

what did you tell
cousin Sheila?

That I own this house,
I'm married to Mr. Sheffield
and I have a butler?

No, I told her you were a nanny.

What, are you stoned?

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Hey.
-Hi.

I hope you're not getting makeup
on my Valentino original

that I got from Bergdorf's.

No. I just schmeared a little
on your knock-off
from Loehmann's.

So Sheila,
how's your sister Claudine?

She should only rot in hell.

She never paid me back
the $2200 I loaned her
to pay off her car,

that low-life piece of trash.

Well, Sheila,
why don't you talk to her?

I'm too nice.

Meanwhile, I ran into
cousin Merryl in Central Park,

and she was all over
Naomi Dembo's husband.

-[gasps]
-Yep.

And you didn't call me?

You know,
I don't like to gossip.

So, Sheila, did your father
ever come back

from picking up a pack of
"smokes" 20 years ago?

-Ma!
-What?

I'm not so nice
and I like to gossip.

[sighs]
So, Sheila, I'll tell you,

I was so sorry to hear about
you and Mitch.

Why did he leave you?

What, I couldn't leave him?

All right.
Why did you leave him?

I'm not gonna stay with somebody
that dumps me.

So, look, I brought you
a sample of the wallpaper here.

The motif I wanna use
in yourcucina.

Oysters? I don't know.

Where have I seen this before?

Red Lobster.

Well, you told me you wanted
things to heat up
between you and Mr. Sheffield.

-It's a vomitose pattern.
-It's an aphrodisiac.

Does it come in fabric?

-Oh, Frannie
-What?

Just looking at this, it puts me
in the mood, you know?

-Oh...
-Then I start to miss Mitch.

Oh-ho-ho-ho...

-Clock!
-Oh!

Yeah. Yeah, I see a big clock
right over that door with, uh,

the accentuation
of two giant pairs of antlers.

A major aphrodisiac.

Since when are antlers
a major aphrodisiac?

Hello! Horny?

Oh, God, I miss Mitch so much.
[sobbing]

Cabinets!

What have you got?
Decorator's Tourettes?

Frannie, I really thought that
Mitch was the one.

-Oh...
-And when I met him, right away
I wanted him to like me so much.

I started making plans
right away for a nose job,
a boob job, liposuction.

Well, it's a good thing
you didn't get all that done.

Uh, um... By a quack.

Yeah. You look fabulous, honey.

-Don't I? Oh!
-Gorgeous. Yes.

The thing is, Frannie,
I know he really loves me.

Give him a chance.
He'll come around.

It's like me and Mr. Sheffield.

As God is my witness,
I have never pushed.

You just give him some time.

Time? Forget about it.

We were friends for four years
before we even
went to second base.

And right away after that
he dumped me.

-[gasps]
-No, not right away.

I mean, first he asked me
to redecorate
a room in his house.

[gasps]

I can't feel my left side.

My arm's gone numb.

Mr. Sheffield asked me
to decorate this room

right after we got to
second base.

-[gasps]
-Oh, why doesn't he like me?

Oh...

It's not your fault, honey.

It's just the men
in this damn culture.

Why don't they appreciate
confident, vital women?

Well, they do, if she's 20.

What are women
in our late 20s supposed to do?

And if it's
this difficult for us,

what's it like for
poor older women?

How the hell are they
gonna find a man?

Congratulate me.

I'm engaged.

-[Fran] Oh, my God!
-That's gotta be
at least three karats!

And that's the small one.

Take a look at this one
Sammy got for me.

[excited screaming]

See, that's why it's good
to marry someone 89.

He forgot he bought me this one.

Oh, Yetta, that Sammy's
got incredible taste.

Who's Sammy?

The guy you're engaged to.

I'm engaged?

Oh, I've gotta tell
the girls in the home.

Hey, Esther. Polly.
I'm getting...

[both] Married!

Hoo-hoo!

I'll tell you, Sheila.

Our 85-year-old grandmother's
getting married before we are.

What does she have
that we don't?

Removable teeth.

I can't believe Mr. Sheffield
is dumping me.

Look at this.
It's his favorite little teapot.

Oops!

Well, Frannie, I cannot believe
that you did that

when this Lalique vase
is so much more expensive.

-Men! Who needs them?
-Yeah.

-[cellphone ringing]
-Mitch!

[grunting]

[panting]

How many was that?

One.

-[door opens]
-What do you say
we take a lunch?

[door closes]

He is making me hold
his sweaty ankles
while he does sit ups.

And he's wearing
really baggy shorts.

Are you getting
the picture here?

Now, Brighton, the man
has just had a heart attack.

We have to try to show
a little more consideration.

-Daddy.
-Don't! [grunts]
Why did you say, "Daddy"?

Now he's gonna
know I'm out here.

Sir, my tea is lukewarm.
Would you mind?

Fran, Mr. Sheffield
is not going to dump you.

You and Sheila
do not lead parallel lives.

Does she still have
that stupid best friend?

Oh, I am so getting dumped.

Now, meanwhile,
this room is stunning.

But where's
the aphrodisiac affect?

I don't see it.

[exclaims] Oh, my God.

[romantic jazz music playing]

Whoa-ho-hoa!
That working out is paying off
big time, mister.

[romantic jazz music playing]

-Pick you up at 8:00.
Wear something--
-Velcro?

Rawr!

Toriello, looking good.

[sighs] Well, at least
somebody's getting some use
out of my newcucina.

-[phone ringing]
-Yep.

Hello.

Hey, cuz.

Guess who's in the Caribbean
getting Bain de Solaid.

Oh, yes.

Ooh, yes... Oh, Mitch.

-Mitch? She got back together
with Mitch.
-[gasps]

[gasps]
I'm gonna get back together
with Mr. Sheffield.

Frannie, you're gonna have to
find yourself a new decorator

because Mitch
wants me to quit my job.

And I never have to work again.

Oh, I have to work.
I just have to find
a new career.

Uh, Mitch says my taste
nauseated him.

Can you believe that
that's why he broke up with me?

Well, we're together now
and I've never been happy...

-[phone beeps]
-Oh, Val. My God.

Uh... Duh...

-You've gotta take this
out of here.
-I can't.

What do you mean, "you can't"?
What's the matter with you?
Are you--

Mrs. Sheffield...

A psychic? Please, God.

Oh, Miss Fine, I have to say

-I think the kitchen is now
my favorite room in the house.
-Aww!

Welcome to the Fine family.

Perhaps we should have dinner
here from now on.

Or dessert.

-So you like what you see?
-Lovely.

Maybe I should do you
in the dining room.

I should have you do
the dining room next.

Are you sure, Mr. Sheffield?
That's a pretty big step.

I have half a cup
of coffee left.

Where were we?

Miss Fine. About what happened
in the hospital

Save it, honey.
You think I didn't know

that you concocted
this whole decorating scheme

just to distract me?

Though, you really didn't have
to come up with such a ruse.

Don't you think
that we're both above that?

[romantic jazz music playing]

Oh, Miss Very-Fine.

These drapes won't fit
with your new motif.

Here, put something
in your mouth.

You got lipstick on your teeth.

You got chocolate on yours.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]