All language subtitles for Merrily.We_.Go_.To_.Hell_.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO_

Ah, silly people.

I don't like that fellow
with the little mustache.

Up and at that mustache, men!

Got him.

Now that I know you love me,
how about letting me drive you home, huh?

On.

I'm sorry if I frightened you.

I didn't know anyone was out here.

Thank you.

- May 1?
- Surely.

I'm a little drunk. Will you excuse me?

I think everyone here is a little drunk,
but I'll excuse you.

Do you know who the gentleman was
that tried to kiss you just now?

That was damery.

You know, the gossip clolumnis -

the glassup colum... inest -

uh, the newspaper fella.

If you'd let him kiss you, you'd probably
have read about it in tomorrow's paper.

I wouldn't have liked that.
Yeah.

Wouldn't you like a little drink?

No, thank you.
Drinking isn't one of my many vices.

Well, personally,
I'm going to stop drinking

next Tuesday afternoon at 3:00 sharp.

That make you feel better?

Much.

Enough better so that
we may introduce ourselves?

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.
I'm Jerry corbett.

What's the matter?
Does the name terrify you?

I didn't mean to look so stupid,
but I never miss reading your column.

You write very cleverly.

Oh, yes, I'm so clever that I'm one
of the few drinking newspapermen

who can still hold his job.

As a matter of fact,
I've almost finished a play.

Well, you shouldn't have gotten me
started on the subject of myself

because I can go on and on for hours.

Supposing you tell me
who you happen to be.

Nobody. Just a girl named Joan prentice.

That means you are somebody.

It means you're the daughter
of the gentleman who made millions

putting things into tin cans

that people like me take out of tin cans.

I see you believe in signs.

Mm-hmm.

And all the signs point to three stars.

Will you excuse me?

Would you like to come over here
and sit down?

It's cozier, and then, too,
the drinks are handier.

You been having a good time tonight?

I'm a little disappointed.

I expected to meet a lot of
interesting people and talk to them.

Most of them are too drunk to talk
intelligently, or else they insult you.

Bob noble's parties
are always like this...

Except that you don't often see
such awfully fine hands.

Long, slender and artistic,

and a diamond ring the size of
a small potato on the right little finger.

Awfully fine head,

hair like an Indian,

fine, chiseled features,
clean-cut as a tomahawk.

Say, now I feel like singing. Do you mind?

- I don't know. Wait until I hear you.
- Ah, it'll be too late then.

J first, she gave me gingerbread
and then she gave me cake j

j and then she gave me creme de menthe
for meeting her at the gate &

sing some more. I like that one.

Do you? I like you too, joanie.

I think you're nice.

Thanks. You mean, of course,
alcoholically speaking.

No. No, really. I think you're swell.

I like your hands.

Gosh, they're swell.

Funny. Why'd I let you do that?

Because I think you're swell.

What's your name, Joan?

My name's Joan.

Oh, I mean your telephone number.

Bittersweet 8100.

Come and have tea tomorrow at 5:00.

Hey, I'll be there early,
and I'll stay late.

- You'll never remember to come.
- Sure, I will.

It's late, Joan.

Oh, don't go, joanie.

Stay and we'll sing a thousand songs.

- Do we have to go, Greg?
- I'd rather.

I want to get out to the club
early tomorrow.

I'll get my wrap.

I don't believe we've met.

My name's corbett. What's yours?

Gregory boleslavsky.

Hey, now wait a minute.

I asked you a civil question,
and I expect a civil answer.

You want a drink?

No, thanks.

No? Well, that's right, don't.

It's a rotten bottle
and it's a rotten label.

And it's rotten whiskey.

No one should drink it.

Go on. Get out of here.

He is a good reporter,
but a very terrible tap dancer.

That's funny.

Our city editor says
I'm a good tap dancer,

but a very terrible reporter.

- All ready?
- Yes.

Just a minute, Greg.

Good night, Mr. corbett.

Who are you?

Oh, nobody.

Who was that?

I don't know.

Well...

Merrily we go to hell.

Dad!

You know Jerry corbett,
the boy I met last night?

Only what you told me at breakfast.

Yes, and I thought he wouldn't call,

but he did, and he's coming
to my party this afternoon.

- You sure he won't disappoint you again?
- I tell you, he's coming.

Oh, Benson.

Yes, miss Joan.

Benson, have we gingerbread, cake
and creme de menthe in the house?

We have cake and creme de menthe.
I don't know about the gingerbread.

- Well, I want all three served at tea.
- Yes, miss Joan.

What is it? What's happened?

Nothing happened! Everything's heavenly!

Oh...

J first, she gave me gingerbread
and then she gave me cake j

j and then she gave me creme de menthe
for meeting her at the gate &

I can't understand it.

I said about 5:00,
and he said he'd be here then.

I wouldn't worry about a young man
who hasn't any manners

and quite obviously no taste.

I've no use for him from now on.

I'm afraid I won't have any use
for your Jerry corbett,

if ever I have
the pleasure of meeting him.

I guess you'll never have that pleasure.

- Goodbye, charlcie.
- Goodbye, Joan.

I'll see you to your car?

You're nothing but an old roue.

We didn't have any customers

for our gingerbread
and creme de menthe, miss Joan.

No.

Oh. Does one ring a bell
or just walk in here?

It all depends on whether or not
one is on time.

I have an idea you're Mr. Jerry corbett.

- Yeah. Yes, have we met before?
- I doubt it.

I never wait more than five minutes
for anyone.

If you step inside,
I'll tell Joan you're here.

Oh, thank you.

- If you'll wait in there, please.
- Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

Oh, wait a minute.

Don't tell me you walk on this floor.

Sometimes it turns into a roller coaster
right beneath your feet.

- Perhaps we'd better sit down.
- Oh, thank you.

Father told me he met you at the door.

Yes.

Do you know,
I think your father's in love with me.

- Why?
- Because he seemed upset when he saw me.

And it's always love
that upsets a man, you know.

Some of the biggest and littlest men
in history have been upset by love.

I was one of the big men, of course,
when it happened to me.

By the way, am I a little late?

A little.

I'd like to have had you here for
the party, but it really doesn't matter.

I think you're swell.

I'm beginning to think you do.

You told me that last night.

Well, just to prove that I still think so,

uh, would you like to take a little drive
with me and have dinner somewhere?

I'd love to.

Perhaps I ought to explain that
my car is yellow and has a meter on it.

I have a car.

- Oh, well, I didn't mean that we -
- I did. Let's go now.

I guess I didn't know
you walked on these floors

because most of the floors I know
have sawdust on them.

A gentleman wouldn't advertise
he was kissing a lady.

I was advertising the finest
of prentice products.

That reminds me, it's high time
I bought you something to eat.

- I'm not hungry.
- Neither am I.

Do you always make love to girls
when you take them for a drive?

I don't often take them for a drive.

I'm afraid, as a rule,
I prefer the company of men,

particularly if they're bartenders.

You see, I figured out a long time ago

that a punch in the nose heals
much quicker than a broken heart.

Don't tell me you're a woman-hater.

Not at all. I just don't think
about them very much.

You thought about one once.

I mean... you said something
before we left the house

about having once been upset by a woman.

Now, how can one so young

have the memory
of a 200-year-old elephant?

I just happened to remember.

Matter of fact,
I was upset by a woman once.

When?

Oh, a couple of years ago.

What was her name?

Claire. Claire hempstead.

Whatever became of her?

She's on the stage.

She's been just as successful there
as she was with me.

Have you any pictures of her?

Yeah, I got an old one hanging in my room.

Do you ever look at it?

Oh, once every blue moon.

Say, what is this, anyway, an inquisition?

No, I - I guess I'm a little jealous.

Ah, well, don't be.

I don't blame Claire,

because any girl would be a fool
to marry a man like me.

Oh, I don't know.

Joan, if I haven't said so before,
I want to tell you now.

You're swell.

You know, miss Claire hempstead,

I've met a girl who's just the opposite
of your lovely, fleshly self...

The first girl that's attracted me
since you opened my veins

and carried away my blood
in a golden bowl.

I wish you'd keep your mind active
instead of your feet.

Well, I'm a son of a gun.

He's come back from the dead! Jerry!

- Hiya.
- Hello, buck.

Whew! Sulfur and brimstone.

Hello, Jerry.

- Jerry, where you been keeping yourself?
- Yeah, that's right.

The police haven't been able to find me
in my usual haunts lately, have they?

Why so low, Jerry?

Because, my dear, I'm going to be married.

- What?
- Married?

- Keep it under your hat.
- Hey, bill.

Well, you're not exactly
my idea of a happy bridegroom.

Well, that's where you're wrong, vi.
I am happy.

What troubles me is,

have I a right to take a swell girl
and make her my wife?

No.

Your charm is only exceeded
by your frankness.

- I think we ought to celebrate.
- So do I. So do I, buck.

Let us have champagne,
or at the very least, beer.

Let us have song. One, two, three.

All we need's a baritone
and we'd have a quartet.

Let's find a baritone.
Is there a baritone in the house?

Is there a baritone in the house?

He's not sure he's in love
with that girl, buck.

He's likely to do to her
just what my husband did to me.

- Is there a baritone in the house?
- Aw, you're not so bad, vi.

But it's a fact.

This town is full of wives
who closed their eyes, jumped,

and now are screaming for help.

On the level, Fred. I'm gonna be married.

Keep it under your hat.

So that's the reason
you haven't been around.

Yeah. But at the moment,
we're looking for a baritone.

I don't allow them in the place.

You don't?

Is there a baritone in the house?

Are you a baritone?

I'm very sorry.

No baritone.

Are you a baritone?

No, I'm not. I'm a tenor.

A tenor. Ha! He's a tenor!

- Are you a baritone?
- Oh, hello, Mr. corbett.

Oh, hello.

If you had your hat on,
I'd tell you I'm going to be married.

- Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
- Her name is Joan prentice.

Now, be a good girl,
run along and get your hat

and keep what I told you under it.

All righty.

Is there a baritone in the house?

No!

It's unbelievable.

There isn't a baritone in the house.

Oh, yes, there is. I'm a baritone.

There it is.

You search for happiness,

and all the time,
it's right behind the bar.

Sir, you're a baritone and a gentleman.

He's no gentleman. He's a baritone.

So let's go. Wait a minute.

J oh, the moonlights fair tonight
along the wabash &

ji from the fields there comes
the breath of new-mown hay &

j; Of new-mown hay &

ji through the sycamores
the candle lights they're gleaming &

& on the banks of the wabash &

he's no gentleman and he's no baritone.

J faraway j

j so far away &

- Hi, Jerry.
- Hi.

- Hi, Jerry.
- Hello, fellas.

Congratulations, Jerry.

- Yeah, it's swell. I'm awfully glad.
- Inever thought you'd do it, kid.

- Good luck, Jerry.
- Thanks.

Where'd you fellas learn about it?
I haven't told a soul.

- No?
- No.

Come over here and get a load of this.

Oh, by the way, corbett,
here's something else may interest you.

Any statement to make
to the press, corbett?

Any statement I made to you
wouldn't be fit to print.

Oh, I don't know.
Yours is just a common case.

When we're young,
we want to marry for love,

and when we're a little older,
we marry a Rolls-Royce.

Cut it out, fellas.

You'd better hold me.
One or two will be enough to hold him.

Now, that'll be enough of this.
Get back to your desks.

- Cool off, Jerry. Cool off.
- Now, now, Jerry.

Try and keep your high spirits
from bubbling over.

In the third place, he wasn't worth it.
In the second place, it was a good punch.

And in the first place, forget it.

Yeah, well, I've forgotten it already.

So have I.

Whew!

What this country needs
is more blondes like that

and more men like me.

You know, Jerry, I can just feel
those soft arms around me now.

Can you, buck?

Hello.

May I speak to Mr. corbett, please?

You certainly can.

- It's for you.
- Oh, thanks.

Hello.

- Why, dear, what's the matter?
- Nothing.

Only... dad wants to know if you can
come out and see him now.

Now?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, sure. Sure, dear. I'll be right out.

All right.

Goodbye.

What's the matter?

I've just had an invitation to the dance.

James, me cuffs and me sword, please.

I'm off to the wars in flanders.

I never talked to you, corbett,

because I never thought
we'd have anything in common.

I see I was mistaken.

After inquiring about you,
I find we have less in common than ever.

Nevertheless, I feel I have a right
to ask you certain questions.

Certainly.

What is your salary?

$85 a week.

And then, of course,
whatever I sell on the side.

Joan has been used
to every luxury, corbett.

I never taught her the value of money

because I didn't intend
she should ever have to know it.

She will have to know it, Mr. prentice.

You're determined to marry her, are you?

Did it ever occur to you
that she might love me?

You think, don't you,
that as damery says in the paper,

I'm taking a chance
with the prentice millions.

I think it would be pleasant
if you had enough money to quit your job

and write your plays.

Aren't you doing something
known as beating about the bush?

Precisely.

I'm offering you money to give up Joan.

How much?

Fifty thousand dollars.

Is that your final offer?

Yes.

Well, it's not enough, Mr. prentice,

'cause it just happens that
Joan means much more to me

than $50,000 means to you.

I never intended to take a single dollar
from you, and I never will.

Bless you, Jerry.

I just couldn't stay outside any longer.

I heard what Jerry said about
taking money from you, father,

and I feel just as he does.

Parents die hard when it comes
to giving up a daughter, corbett,

an only child.

I'm fighting a losing battle.

You've won.

You won, probably,
when Joan first met you.

Be good to her, corbett.

- She's just a child.
- Oh, I'm not.

Father, it's all right.

I mean, you want me to marry
Jerry now, don't you?

Because I love him.

I want you to be happy, dear,
more than anything else in the world,

and if marrying Jerry
will make you that way,

then I want it for you, of course.

Oh, Jerry.

I only thought you should
wait a little longer

so you both could be sure.

You don't wait when you're in love.

You don't have to wait. You are sure.

Sure of everything when you're
in love, aren't you, Jerry?

Joan looks too sweet for words tonight,
doesn't she?

Yes, but where's her fiancé?

After all, what's an announcement party
without a fiancé?

Probably much more decorative without him.

Wouldn't you be happy
if it was your announcement party?

Good heavens, no.

Not that I wouldn't have taken
a chance with you, Joan.

You only say that because you're safe now.

Excuse me a moment, will you?

I'll finish the dance with you later.

Well?

I've phoned everywhere. He can't be found.

- Oh, he'll be here any minute, I'm sure.
- Of course.

But I don't like Jerry being so late.
It's humiliating for you.

- Joan.
- What is it, charlcie?

Joan, someone's waiting for you outside.

You'd better go out and see him.

What's the matter, buck?

Has something happened to Jerry?

- He's all right.
- Well, where is he?

He's home.

It won't do any good
to go down there, Joan.

Joan!

Joan.

He didn't mean to do it, Joan.

It was the excitement
as much as the liquor.

But you don't understand.
This is my announcement party.

He can't do this to me.
Help me do something.

Oh, charlcie, we've got to do something.

- Isn't there anything?
- Well, I did everything possible.

Gave him a shower
and walked him all over the lakefront.

But he passed out on me in the cab.

I thought maybe by the time
we got over here that -

charlcie, I can't go back in there.

I just couldn't stand the humiliation.

I simply couldn't. I couldn't.

Joan. Joan!

And your mother thought
you'd be president.

Why, they'd never even
let you be vice president.

Do you hear? Not even vice president.

Don't worry, Joan.
I'll take care of everything in the house.

What do I care about those people now?

I know, Joan, but you'd be a fool
to care about Jerry now.

Any girl would have to be utterly mad
about a man to marry him after this.

At any rate, he showed up for the wedding.

Yes.

Repeat after me.

L, Gerald, take thee, Joan.

L, Jerry -

I, Gerald, take thee, Joan...

- To my wedded wife...
- To my wedded wife...

- To have and to hold...
- To have and to hold...

- From this day forward...
- From this day forward...

- For better, for worse...
- For better, for worse...

For richer, for poorer...

Get a load of buck, will you?

According to god's holy ordinance.

And thereto,
I plight thee my troth.

And thereto,
I plight thee my troth.

Loose hands.

Now, take Gerald's hand
and repeat after me.

L, Joan, take thee, Gerald...

- To my wedded husband...
- To my wedded husband...

- To have and to hold...
- To have and to hold...

- From this day forward...
- From this day forward...

- For better, for worse...
- For better, for worse...

- For richer, for poorer...
- For richer, for poorer...

- In sickness and in health...
- In sickness and in health...

- To love and to Cherish...
- To love and to Cherish...

- Till death us do part...
- Till death us do part...

According to god's holy ordinance.

According to god's holy ordinance.

And thereto,
I give thee my troth.

And thereto, I give thee my troth.

Loose hands. The ring.

You didn't give it to me.

Bless, o lord, this ring,
that he who gives it and she who wears it

may abide in thy peace and continue
in thy favor unto their life's end.

Amen.

Now place it on Joan's finger.

Hold it there and repeat after me.

With this ring...

I thee wed.

I thee wed.

Amen.

Amen.

Now loose hands.

- Almost got me.
- I wish it had.

Jerry, you're impossible.
What did you do with the ring?

I ought to be shot. I lost it.

Well... merrily we go to hell.

Merrily you stop this and go to work.

Come on.

Sweetheart.

Yes, dear?

Don't you think I've done enough today?

How many pages?

Two. Uh, and - and a half.

You know you do three pages a day.

You're not Mrs. Jerry corbett.

You're Mrs. Simon legree,

and I'm poor old uncle Tom.

Jerry's sure game.

Pure venison,
from the hoof to the antlers.

I thought I'd been
to every kind of a party,

but this is the first time
I've ever been to a rejection celebration.

The kid's keeping a stiff upper lip,

but, vi, really,
he's all broken up about it.

Oh, of course. Never give a woman credit
for keeping up a man's spirits.

J first, she gave me gingerbread
and then she gave me cake j

j and then she gave me creme de menthe
for meeting her at the gate &

so you see, children, those are
the two great dates of American history -

1492, when Columbus discovered America,

and 1932, when America failed
to discover Gerald corbett.

Don't be depressed, darling.

Depressed? It's true.
I've died, gone to heaven.

Or maybe I'm just going to have
roast chicken, Southern style.

Do you think you can carry it
without spilling?

- Watch me, Mrs. legree!
- Careful, Jerry!

Twenty years experience, Mrs. legree,
in the best hotels.

Jerry.

- I was just trying to help.
- That's all right.

This is a rejection party,
and Jerry has rejected the chicken.

I'm awful sorry, joanie.

Oh, honey, it's all right.

I love you so much, it doesn't matter.

You go down to the store
and get some canned chicken.

- I'll have it ready in no time.
- All right.

Here's something to clean up the floor.

- Anything I can do, Joan?
- Yeah, you can clean up the floor.

Supposing I go to the store and you, uh -

my dear fellow,
I go to stores better than you do,

and you clean up floors better than I do.

You've had more experience.

What this country needs is
less people who drop things.

J first, she gave me gingerbread
and then she gave me cake j

j and then she gave me creme de menthe
for meeting her at the gate &

I was like this once,

just getting started and all that.

Let me be a little sad, will you?

You'll get over it.
You'll meet someone else.

Would you get over loving Jerry?

Well, my love for my husband
was like your love for Jerry.

Not all people love that way.

It usually turns out pretty tragically
when something goes wrong.

Oh, don't let anything go wrong, Joan.

Or if it does, take my advice
and get out in time.

I'm a fool.

Oh, but, Joan, you and Jerry
are gonna be so happy.

Why, people for miles around
are coming to stare at you.

Treason! Treason!
It isn't a prentice product!

I'll see who it is. And I'll stop buck
from talking to himself.

Mmm? “Jerry...

I won't ever lose you, will 17?

Darling, if this thing slips once more,
you'll be a penniless widow tonight.

You love me enough to keep me
just as I am, don't you, Jerry?

I think you're swell.

It's a telegram.

What is it?

We're rich. We're famous.

- We're celebrities!
- Jerry!

I'll go tell buck.

Yeah, my boy, it's the kind of a play

that's either going to be
a great flop or a great smash.

If it's all the same to you,
I should prefer a great smash.

That's what it's gonna be.

No, thank you.
No, I'm on the wagon for life.

Oh? Yeah.

- No, thank you.
- Excuse me.

Wait.

Wait until you see
who I've got to play your lead.

It's true she's gonna be
infernally hard to handle, but -

I don't see why
you say that, Jake.

- Because I'm really very easy to handle.
- Yeah.

When I get my own way, of course.

- Jerry.
- Claire. Well...

Uh, darling.

This is my wife. Miss hempstead.

- How do you do, Mrs. corbett?
- How do you do?

Well, my boy, I see that you
know your leading lady, huh?

Oh, yes, yes. We're old friends.

So, that's why at once
when I read the play, I thought of you.

I think he must have had you in mind
when he wrote it.

Jerry, it would be nice to think
you'd remembered me all these years,

particularly when you've written
such a really beautiful play.

- I'm glad that you like it.
- Oh, I do. It's perfect.

But now, look here, there are one or two
suggestions I've got to make for my part.

I know you won't mind.

Now then, in the first act,
when I come on,

well, it'd be much better if, instead of
coming on with de brion, I came on alone.

Huh? You see, it'd be
a much better entrance for me.

And I think it'd improve your play, too.

Let me show you.

Don't worry about her.
I can take care of her, all right.

Then, in the second act...

- Hmm?
- Thank you.

Hold this a minute, will you?

Don't you think it'd be much better

if the curtain were built up
for me a little?

And if you could find a way of getting
de brion off the stage beforehand

so that I could be alone...

I think it'd be much more effective.

Look, let me show you.

Here.

Have you done it?
All right, all right, that'll do.

Now, Jane, I'm all right.
You run along and do as I've told you.

Very well, miss Claire.

Oh, dear, dear.

I was just going to knock.
I'm sorry if I frightened you.

You did frighten me.

Well, I don't wonder you frightened her.
You're such a rare visitor.

- Is that a reproof?
- Yes, it is, decidedly.

Five minutes, miss hempstead.

All right. I'll be there.

Well, how do you feel with
the curtain going up on your first play?

Like Napoleon before austerlitz.
Or before Waterloo.

- You'd better have a little drink.
- No, thanks.

You know I'm on the wagon again.
“What?

Well, if the strain becomes too great,
you'll find a bottle in the closet there.

Jerry, why did you suddenly decide
to visit me?

Just to wish you good luck.

Dear, why are you treating me
with this devotion?

- Devotion?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, about as much devotion
as I'd show to a boa constrictor.

Is it because I treated you badly once?

I didn't think you knew that you had.

Oh, I was young and egotistical, Jerry.

Well, what are you now?

Young and egotistical.

- It wasn't all my fault, you know.
- No?

You were very young and romantic
in those days.

Perhaps if you'd been then
what you are now...

Well?

Well, I might be almost
as much afraid to visit you

as you're afraid to visit me.

Curtain, miss hempstead.

All right, I'm coming.

Well, Jerry, this is your big moment.

- To Waterloo.
- To austerlitz!

Darling!

- Miss Claire.
- All right, I'm coming.

Madam, have you no answer for me?

Sir, if I said yes,
I should mean no.

And if I said no, I should mean yes.

But my silence is all true and for you.

It's your husband's play. Applaud!

I can't. I'm too happy.

You have a funny way of showing it.

I always cry when I'm happy.

Author! Author! Author!

Author! Author! Author!

Author! Author!

Author!

- I'm going back to see Jerry.
- Author! Author!

Author!

Author! Author!

Author!

- Author!
- Jerry!

Author!

Jerry! Oh, Jerry, I'm so happy!

Hello, Claire.

Oh, Jerry.

Here. Jerry!

Jerry, Jerry, come on.
They're calling you. Come on.

He can't go out there in his condition.

- Yes, he'll be all right. Come on.
- He can't.

He certainly can take a bow
for his own play.

He isn't going to.
What's the matter?

- I can't take a bow for my own play?
- Come on. He's standing up straight.

- No one will notice. Come on, Jerry.
- You go on home, get things ready.

I'm gonna bring the gang up.

Come on. Come on.

Buck.

Stay with him, will you?

Don't you worry.
I won't even let him out of my sight.

Speech, Jerry!

Speech!

Shall I remain here, Mrs. corbett?

- No, I'll call you when they come.
- Very well.

My dear, you lied to me
when I arrived today.

- Lied?
- You said Jerry wasn't drinking.

He hasn't been.

/t is now 2:00 A.M.,
eastern standard time.

Oh, buck, is he hurt?

Oh, he's still alive, but a couple
of bottles of scotch are dead.

Bring him in here.

- Wait for me downstairs, driver.
- Yes, sir.

Whom was he with, buck?

Oh, no one in particular,
just hither and yon.

There was no stopping him.

- He's coming to.
- If he does, maybe he'll snap out of it.

Yes, I'm sure he will.
Thanks awfully, buck.

Joan, I... I'm terribly sorry, but...

I don't want anyone to be sorry.

Okay, Joan.

Huh?

Last night...

Thanks, Claire.

Joan!

Joan.

I want to speak to you.

I don't want to talk about it.

You're coming back to Chicago with me.

I'm not.

Do you mean to tell me
you're really happy?

I don't want to talk about it.

Do you mean to tell me
you're really happy?

No, of course not.

Father, I've got to talk about it.

I've been nearly crazy
keeping it all to myself.

- I did lie to you before.
- Joan, he isn't worth your little finger.

Don't say that. It isn't true.

Just think of all those months
in Chicago when he didn't drink.

Just think of the marvelous fight
he's put up.

He only started drinking
when we came to New York and he met...

He needs me now,
and I'd be selfish to leave him.

Maybe you think it's none of my business.

I love Jerry. Love him, do you hear?

And it doesn't make any difference
what someone is or does

or anything when you love him.

I'm sorry, Joan,

but even if you love him,
you can't go on like this.

I could never leave Jerry.
You can't be a doormat.

I'm not a doormat!

You don't know how sweet and fine
Jerry really is.

I know what I'm doing.

Perhaps you're right.
It is none of your business.

Please, Joan, don't.

- I didn't mean to -
- You didn't mean to. Nobody means to.

They do their best to make trouble
between Jerry and me at every chance.

If they'd let us alone, we'd be all right.

Goodbye, Joan.

I've done all I can.

When you come to your senses,
come home to me.

Oh, father.

Joan?

Joan?

Joan?

Joan?

Joan!

Hello?

Oh, I just wanted to be sure
you got home safely.

Oh, I'm all right.

What would you say if I said
I was coming over to see you now?

Well, you might at least answer me.

Sir, if I said yes, I should mean no.

And if I said no...

I should mean yes.

But my silence is all true and for you.

I want terribly to see you, Claire.

But I'm not going to do it.

I'm going to say goodbye.

Joan.

What's the idea, Joan?

See? This is the way you look
when you're drunk.

Just wanted to show you
how you look when you're drunk.

Honey, you've got the words,
but not the tune.

But you're charming
when you're tight, joanie.

Really, Joan, you don't know
how charming you really are.

Really, Joan, you ought
to get tight oftener.

Well, dear, merrily we go to hell.

Merrily you go to your girlfriend.

Listen, Joan, you're right.

I was going to her.

I'm still going to her unless you stop me.

I won't stop you.

If you love me, you will.

Joanie, you know I think you're
the swellest person in the world.

If you love me, you'll lock that door
so that I can't get out.

You mean that?

I'm no jailer.

Shut the door, Joan, or I will go.

Get out.

- Get out!
- Joan.

Get out!

Joan!

I thought you'd be packed.

Did you?

Packed and gone.

Why?

I don't have to tell you why.

You mean because you didn't
come home last night?

Don't be silly.

The way you talk, one would think
we were living in my grandmother's day.

No woman could forgive a man
for doing what I did to you.

It was my fault.

Your fault?

I opened the door and told you to go.

Yeah, I wish you hadn't, Joan.

You know, I think that you
are the swellest girl

that any man could ask for a wife.

Now that I've started
this thing with Claire, I...

Well, I have no right
to ask you to forgive me.

My grandmother wouldn't have.

And rightly.

Do you want me to go, Jerry?

You'd be an awful fool if you stayed.

No, I wouldn't.

It happens I spent the morning realizing
that we're living in a modern world

where there's no place
for old-fashioned wives.

You seem to want a modern wife,
and that's what I'm going to be.

In other words,
I'm going to unpack my trunks.

You see, I'd rather go merrily to hell
with you than alone.

Joan, I always said you were swell.

Perhaps you won't think so much longer,

because if being a modern husband
gives you privileges,

then being a modern wife
gives me privileges.

I'm not worried, honey.

I've told you before,
you've got the words but not the tune.

Don't forget, I have a musical ear
and can pick up tunes easily.

- I'll have to hurry.
- Where are you going?

I just made a luncheon date
with your modern friend, Charlie Baxter.

He's been after me for a long time
to have lunch with him.

- But, Joan -
- I'll phone you later.

Perhaps we'll dine together.

Joan!

Hey!

Let that window alone, will you?

Okay.

What this country needs is
less ventilation and more smoke.

Come on, babe.

Jerry. Hmm?

There's your wife.

Excuse me.

- Hello, Jerry.
- Hello.

I say, do you happen to know
your namesake, Mrs. corbett?

Yes, sir, there's no doubt of it.

She's a distant relative of mine.

- It's my wife.
- I'm sorry. I should have connected you.

I had no idea
you were coming here tonight.

I had no idea you were coming here.

Where'd you dine? We didn't.

We were at Tony's,
and the idea of food was revolting.

Where's our charming host?

Oh, he's sleeping behind the bar there.

- Shall we join him?
- Sure.

I'll be seeing you, Jerry.

Mrs. corbett's a pretty little woman,
isn't she?

Oh, it's easy. Look.
Like this, like that, pull, finished.

- How's that?
- One more for the lady.

Say, Joan, what do you say
we go to Harlem?

- I say no.
- Mmm.

I thought you weren't coming back to me.

Oh! Don't be silly.

I say yes.

Hooray!

To the ladies. They keep their hearts
and change their minds.

Oh, no!

We keep our minds, but change our hearts.

Gentlemen, I give you
the holy state of matrimony, modern style.

Single lives, twin beds
and triple bromides in the morning.

Okay.

By the way, has anyone here
heard about the depression?

The very charming depression
between your shoulder blades, my dear.

You're tickling me.

- Joan, let's finish this dance.
- I'd love to.

It's marvelous
the way you keep it up, Joan.

Isn't it?

- Happy?
- I never want to stop.

Let's go back.
The floor is awfully crowded.

All right, but the next time a woman
tells me she never wants to stop...

- Oh.
- Excuse me.

What's the matter, lady?

I don't know.

Something's been
the matter with me lately.

I think I'm going to faint.

That's all you brought?

I repeat, Mrs. corbett.
You're in a very bad physical condition.

Very bad. You should have
complete rest and relaxation.

I should say it was your only chance to -

yes, I understand, doctor.

I don't think there's anything more
I can do for you tonight.

- No, doctor. Thank you for coming.
- Not at all.

Good night.

Doctor gone?

Yes.

Well, here's the bracer you wanted.

I don't want it, vi.
I'm on the water wagon.

Doctor's orders?

Yes. He said I need rest and relaxation.

Well, there's your rest and relaxation.

Vi, do you remember once
telling me to get out in time?

That you can become cheaper
through loving someone

than through hating someone?

Well, I didn't get out in time,

but I'm going to tell
Jerry something tonight.

You'd better wait until tomorrow.

No, I've waited too long already.

The bride, the bride.

Hello, darling. I didn't think
you were coming home for hours yet.

- I changed my mind.
- Well, I'm terribly glad you're here.

We ran out of liquor.

- Jerry!
- I'm sorry.

Jerry, come with me.
There's something I've got to tell you.

In a minute, darling.
I can't neglect my guests, you know.

Buck didn't give us time
to say good evening.

Good evening.

Do you know, I was voted
the most popular man in college

when I told them
I'd just gotten in a new case.

Yeah?

What this country needs is more people
who have just gotten in a new case.

Step right in here, gentlemen,
and even ladies.

Have one on the house.

You know, it's an old American custom.

I'll be right with you.

Jerry, listen to me. There's something
that I've been trying to tell you.

Wait a minute, sweet.
I-I'm all burdened down here, you know.

Jerry, I've been trying
to get you to listen to me,

and now you've got to.

Darling, no one's gonna tell me
that I've got to listen.

I want you to understand,
this is not my regular job.

In real life, I'm a rainmaker
with the umbrella concessions.

Oh, buck and vi. Everything all right?

That's the stuff.

Hey, Jerry, hold it! Camera! Action!

Stop Jerry from making a fool of himself.
Talk to him.

I'm tired of getting blue in the face.

Joan, will you have a little drink?

No, thank you.

There you are. There you are.

What's going on in here?

Oh, darling,
Claire's going into the movies.

We've just been shooting the first scene.

What a shame I missed it.
Perhaps you'll do it again for me.

With pleasure, Mrs. corbett.
I'd love to reenact the scene.

You ready?

Now, what I want from you children
is adult passion!

Okay, director.

That's great. Hold it.
Camera! Action!

Good boy, Jerry.

Hey, cut. Cut!
Do you want the reel to burn?

Marvelous. Magnificent.

Personally, I think
it must be very difficult

to be married to such an ardent young man.

He thinks I'm swell.

I do, darling.
Isn't that what I always tell you?

Jerry, you should be
more expressive than that.

He'll have every chance to be
more expressive from now on.

Go back in the kitchen.
You're being rude to your guests.

One in particular.

I'd had an awful lot to drink, Joan.

I'll never bring her here again.

You can bring her here all you want.

Besides, we did have an agreement
not to be jealous of each other.

My grandmother would have thought that
a very silly agreement,

and I've discovered
she would have been right.

Besides, I can't be jealous
of someone I've never really had.

- I mean you.
- Now, that isn't true.

It is true. Except for a short while
after we were married.

You started drinking
because of Claire hempstead.

Well, that's true enough.

And you started drinking again
when you met her again.

I stayed with you because I thought
you had loved me and would again.

Now I know you never did,

because you married me
with her image in your mind.

In all the time we've been together,

you've never once said, "I love you."

You'll never know how much
I've wanted to hear you say that.

Yes, and there's something else
I've been trying to tell you all evening,

and now you'll never know.

Ah, Joan, you're crazy.
You know that I think you're -

if you say that word to me once more,
I think I'll kill you!

Where are you going?

I'm going to my father,
who's always loved me.

I'm going with you.

The one thing you can do for me
is to stay just where you are.

Joan.

Joan!

I'm going.

- Good night, old man.
- Good night.

- Good night, Jerry.
- Good night.

She's gone.

That's the best thing she ever...

- Be up to your place later?
- You coming or not?

- I'll be up later tonight.
- Okay.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- See you later.
- Good night.

Don't you feel the need of a little drink?

I'm sorry I got you into this, Claire.

Sorrier that you ever got me into it.

- You do need a drink. Here.
- You've fed me enough liquor.

- What's happened to you?
- Something you wouldn't understand.

Just a few words that Joan said to me,

enough to make me understand why I drink.

And you can't realize how knowing that
gives me a weapon against it.

The only thing worse than a drunkard
is a reformed drunkard.

- Be yourself, Jerry.
- I am myself for the first time.

That's why you don't recognize me.

That's why you don't understand that
I don't want ever to see you again, ever.

- As long as you live, do you hear?
- Yes, I hear.

In fact, my organs of hearing
are very good.

In other words, don't shout at me.

Well, I feel like shouting.

I want you to know
just where I stand with myself.

I'm not interested.

And I want you to know
just where you stand with me.

You don't mean a thing to me.

And the funny thing is, I never knew it
until a few moments ago.

You should have been grateful
to find it out.

I am grateful.

Yes, I'm grateful
this whole thing's happened,

because if I had never met you again,

I might have gone through life
clinging to an image in my mind,

a phantom that I'd been
drinking to for years,

while all the time I had
a wonderful reality in my arms.

You really should save
those speeches for your plays.

Good night. Yes, see you later.

Good night.

What this country needs is fewer blondes.

Oh, is that so?

We got them all out, Jerry,
and we're going now.

I'm the one that's going.

Where to?

I'm gonna find someone
and say three words to her

I should have been saying all along.

That's what this country needs -
more men who know when they've been wrong.

Three little words that I should have been
saying to her all along.

Bittersweet 8100.

Corbett's not the man
he used to be, is he?

Well, why should he be?

He had a hit, went on the razzle-dazzle,
and now he's just back where he started.

Broke. And minus a wife.

Hello?

I'd like to speak to Mrs. corbett, please.

This is Mr. hotchkiss calling.

It's for miss Joan again, sir.

He says it's Mr. hotchkiss.

Tell him -

no, I'll tell him myself.

It's time you learned Joan won't talk
to you no matter what name you give.

I want the flowers sent there again.

But I can't keep on sending them there
and getting them back,

sending them there and getting them back.

I'll address another envelope.

This is Mr. Simpson calling.

Hello. Hello?

Didn't read my column
this morning, did you?

I never read your column, damery.

Still, here's an item
that might interest you.

Miss, is that Mrs. corbett's room?

No, but you can ask the floor nurse
at the end of the corridor.

- Could I see him?
- Certainly.

Cute, isn't he?

Miss, could you tell me
where Mrs. corbett's room is?

- The third door to the left.
- Third. Thank you.

I'm too happy to glare back, prentice.

How is she?

Haven't you done enough to her?

- You're not going to see her.
- Oh, yes, I am.

I have a right to see her now.
I'm the father of her child.

You're no father.

Your baby is dead.

- You're lying.
- It's no lie.

- Your baby died...
- You're lying.

Two hours after it was born.

And whether Joan will live or...

If she doesn't...

You will have killed her.

- Don't you suppose I know that?
- I don't care whether you know it or not.

I only know that if she dies...

Well...

I'll kill you.

If she dies...

You won't have to.

- You're not going in there.
- Oh, yes, I am. Joan needs me now.

You're not going in there.

She stuck to me when I needed her,
and she needs me now.

You're not going in.

Get out of the way, prentice.

I swear if you don't get out of the way,
I'll knock you down.

Let me tell her you're here.

Feeling better, dear?

Dad, I want Jerry.

I must have Jerry.

Please send for him.

She doesn't want to see you.

Dad, please send for Jerry.

I'm here, joanie.

Oh, Jerry.

Oh, I love you so, joanie.

I love you so much.

So much.

Oh, Jerry.

My baby.

My baby.