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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,080 Lolanto 2 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,560 老闆,余人達來了 3 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,120 快點起來呀 4 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,560 吵什麼吵? 5 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,000 睡個覺也不准,什麼人呀? 6 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,320 余人達來… 7 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,840 有什麼大不了,余人達是嗎? 8 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,720 他從來不付修車錢的 9 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,360 你以為他真的遇人就能打 10 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,320 我還遇人就砍 11 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,960 只不過我很尊重達哥 12 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,400 因為他做人夠義氣,替人著想 13 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:12,960 我也是這樣說 14 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,880 只要提起達哥,沒有人不伸大拇指 15 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:16,840 對不對? 16 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,960 他怎麼可能打我呢? 17 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,960 達哥,你是什麼時候來的? 18 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,760 廢話少說,快去檢查車 19 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,080 走 20 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,840 水箱剎車離合器,全都有問題 21 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,000 最少修三天 22 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,480 要修三天 23 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,760 那我們不就沒車用了嗎? 24 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,240 沒有關係,用我的車好了 25 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,920 我這個車是Porsche的弟弟, Porlar 26 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,280 你沒有弄錯吧! 27 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,760 我怎麼能用這種車呢? 28 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,320 車子的外表並不重要 29 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,720 重要的是性能好 30 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,400 連車門壞了也沒有關係 31 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,080 有繩子就可以了 32 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,360 好了,可以了,放心吧!拜拜 33 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,400 老闆,火咀塞小毛病,要修三天? 34 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,120 你唬人呀! 35 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,800 我看你胡塗了,不是修三天 36 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,640 我是出去跩三天 37 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,080 阿珍,快下來…下來… 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,560 我下來了 39 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,520 請上車 40 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,240 老闆,我坐哪兒? 41 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,600 你當然坐計程車 42 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,840 計程車 43 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,640 這不是我的車嗎? 44 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,800 他媽的,敢偷老子的車 45 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,720 你跟誰借了膽子?敢偷我的車泡妞 46 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,600 不可能,這車不是你的 47 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,080 還敢說不是 48 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,800 我的車牌是AA888,你看 49 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,600 你看清楚好不好,你的車是AA888 50 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,840 這是AA999 51 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,360 我們不可能用顧客的車子的 52 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,200 好,我們現在一塊兒到你店裡去 53 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,400 如果我的車在那兒 54 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,480 你就沒事了,要是我的車不在 55 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,360 你給我小心點 56 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,600 達哥 57 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,320 那我怎麼辦? 58 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,280 妳坐計程車吧! 59 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,400 上車 60 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,440 唉喲!糟糕 61 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,080 沒有車鑰匙 62 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,280 幸虧有萬能鑰匙 63 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,840 追他 64 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,320 壞了,警察 65 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,960 檢查站 66 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,400 追他 67 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,600 下車 68 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,360 開鐵閘 69 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,440 真的要開? 70 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,080 快一點 71 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:53,080 老弟,是我弄錯了,對不起 72 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,840 老兄,不要緊,我不會怪你 73 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,280 幫幫忙,跟我修得好一點 74 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,440 好 75 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,960 Lolanto 76 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:05,800 阿珍,妳幹嘛? 77 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,040 我的東西留在你車裡 78 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,480 阿珍,別拿,會出人命的 79 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,760 大不了揍一頓,跟我來 80 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,880 這次妳把他害慘了 81 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,440 小子,你真可惡 82 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,400 你吃了熊心豹子膽 83 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,360 豈有此理 84 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,200 不會吧! 85 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,640 這麼可惡 86 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,000 達哥,這樣打夠不夠? 87 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,240 不夠我再多打兩下 88 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,680 連毛也要呀 89 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,320 老闆… Lolanto… 90 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,280 停車 91 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,080 什麼事? 92 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,840 就是他,衝過檢查站 93 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,600 我? 94 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,480 今天上午有一名男子余人達 95 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,320 在地方法院被控危險駕駛 96 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,120 癡呆駕駛、瘋狂駕駛、超速駕駛 97 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,360 襲擊警察 98 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,320 以及在法庭言詞粗魯等罪名 99 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,760 被罰停牌99年 100 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,560 罰款3萬3千3百33元3角正 101 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,400 本台記者訪問余人達的錄音 102 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,880 因為那種粗俗言詞粗魯 103 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,360 被禁止播放,現在請大家聽歌 104 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,360 這下可報仇了 105 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,600 陳先生,醫生說要驗尿 106 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,680 你尿在試管裡就可以了 107 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:24,600 謝謝妳呀 108 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,080 這怎麼尿呀? 109 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,960 拿得了這樣,又拿不了那樣 110 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,960 怎麼沒有人呀? 111 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,640 對不起,請問護士小姐呢? 112 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,080 什麼事呀? 113 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,720 我想…我想找人幫我拿點東西出來 114 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,120 我幫你拿,大不大? 115 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,640 這個東西不算大,也不算小 116 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,360 等一等,阿少阿炳,過來幫忙 117 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,080 什麼事?福嬸 118 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,200 這位先生想請你們幫忙拿點東西 119 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,360 拿什麼? 120 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,120 不用了,我自己拿好了 121 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,760 莫明奇妙 122 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,040 這個世界上靠別人是沒用的 123 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,600 好不容易拿了這個,那個又打碎了 124 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,120 乾脆用這個杯子好了 125 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,880 Lolanto,若果讓我找到你 126 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,800 非砸死你不可 127 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,160 這樣不就行了,怎麼護士都不見了 128 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,280 小姐,請問Lolanto住哪一家病房 129 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,600 我查查看 130 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,800 你幹什麼? 131 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,040 小姐,對不起 132 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,240 我進來躲一躲,馬上走 133 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,040 不要擋人家看電視,你走開 134 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,520 對不起,這些小人很好看啊 135 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,960 不是小人,是海底小遊俠 136 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,640 人不在 137 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,440 好,我就坐著等你回來 138 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,320 我叫Lolanto,妳叫什麼? 139 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,480 小蚊 140 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,840 是不是蚊子的蚊? 141 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,280 不知道,爸都這樣叫我 142 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,880 妳這間是超級豪華特級病房 143 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,720 好棒呀!妳得什麼病? 144 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,520 我也不知道 145 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,000 他們每天都給我頭照相 146 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,960 照過來,照過去 147 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,600 這小子到現在,怎麼還不回來? 148 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,680 老闆,是這裡了 149 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,440 老闆,余人達來找你呀 150 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,480 達哥,你沒事吧? 151 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,680 水 152 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,920 你咽著了,來…坐下… 153 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,120 水 154 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:17,400 喝水… 155 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,520 達哥,喝水 156 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,960 我走了,有空再來看妳 157 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,880 一定要來啊,不可以騙我 158 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:31,520 不騙妳 159 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,360 都沒有人陪我玩呀 160 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,880 爸爸 161 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,160 你是誰? 162 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,160 我…我住在隔壁,來看卡通影片 163 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,920 小蚊,他有沒有吵妳呀? 164 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,120 他陪我看卡通影片 165 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,840 你…出去 166 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,840 拜拜 167 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,480 她的情況怎麼樣? 168 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,400 她的低能程度不算嚴重 169 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,000 不過她的智商相當於八歲的小女孩 170 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,480 你這不是廢話,不然花錢幹什麼? 171 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,720 你到底能不能治好她? 172 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,320 那得等福特醫生 173 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,360 從美國回來會診之後,再作決定 174 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,360 俺不管他是福特還是西門 175 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,760 但一定要治好她 176 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:22,880 嗯 177 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,120 還不行呀,我扶你去找護士 178 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,200 老闆 179 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,840 他怎麼了? 180 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,360 他來找你算帳呀 181 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,840 我知道,那他現在… 182 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:34,840 撞暈了 183 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,040 抬出去 184 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:37,840 抬到哪兒去呀? 185 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,480 隨便哪間都可以 186 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,360 替他脫鞋子 187 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,560 進來 188 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,280 這個是紮輸精管的,把他抬出去 189 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,880 你說呀!怎麼會被人紮了的 190 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,800 我是被Lolanto害的,我… 191 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,000 被害的,我看是你自己要紮的 192 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,360 是不是外面生太多了? 193 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,680 是不是? 194 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,840 老婆,我的兄弟們都在外面 195 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,800 等我把他們都打發走了 196 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,240 妳再跟我算帳,好不好? 197 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,920 謝謝老婆 198 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:11,760 大哥… 199 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,360 找到Lolanto沒有? 200 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,160 還沒有 201 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,240 拆不了他的骨頭,拆屋子 202 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,080 走 203 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,560 老闆,有人拆我們車子 204 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,560 犯不著生這麼大的氣吧! 205 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,560 一定是余人達的手下 206 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,400 拆我們的車行 207 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,840 老闆,你還是找個地方躲躲 208 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,280 不然的話,他會拆你的骨頭 209 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,440 我躲到哪兒去? 210 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,480 親戚呀 211 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,960 借錢借到人家都不認我當親戚 212 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,680 朋友呢? 213 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,000 我想起來了,去找胖子 214 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,880 各位同學,這堂是生物課 215 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,920 要跟大家講的是滲透作用 216 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,080 請翻開課本 217 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,520 滲透作用就是一個細胞裡面 218 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,800 細胞液體濃度 219 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,920 如果比細胞膜內的液體高 220 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,360 那麼細胞膜外的低濃度液體 221 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,280 就會自動走入細胞內 222 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,120 滲透作用就這麼簡單 223 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,560 值日生擦黑板 224 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,120 值日生? 225 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,920 誰是朱錦春呀? 226 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000 朱錦春出來 227 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,240 你就是朱錦春? 228 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,160 我就是,幹什麼? 229 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,360 沒…沒有什麼 230 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,040 我看你在…這個發育期間 231 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,440 這個…老坐在位置上,不…不太好 232 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,080 所以我叫你走動走動 233 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,400 這樣對身心…比較…有益處 234 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,240 回去吧… 235 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,600 貞德 236 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,280 這麼早呀 237 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,680 昨天在醫院值夜班 238 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,800 我一下班就來了 239 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:03,960 沒什麼事吧? 240 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,520 你昨天應該七點鐘打電話給我的 241 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,200 怎麼到了九點都沒打? 242 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,240 我…我睡著了 243 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,520 睡著了,分明是沒想我 244 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,960 想我怎麼會睡得著呢 245 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,240 我看你是越來越放肆了 246 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,000 這個訂婚戒指很鬆了 247 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,560 要拿下來很容易的 248 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,880 我今天晚上一定打 249 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,960 一個晚上打三次 250 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,800 7點、9點、11點 251 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,240 可不是我說的,是你自己說的 252 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,200 媽要你一起喝茶,有事跟你說 253 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,560 說什麼? 254 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:31,920 我們明年的結婚問題 255 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,360 聘金、酒席和禮餅呀 256 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,160 這些不是都已經說好了嗎? 257 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,160 銀行的利息都已經提高了 258 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:42,040 媽說這陣子經濟情況不好,要調整 259 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,600 本來已經夠狠了,還要調整… 260 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:45,720 我不值嗎? 261 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800 值 262 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,120 記住呀,待會一點鐘 263 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,920 北海漁村,別遲到呀 264 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,400 阿倫狄龍 265 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,520 誰叫我? 266 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,760 我找得你好苦呀 267 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:09,720 又是你呀 268 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,120 又想出什麼新花招來坑我? 269 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,600 別這樣嘛,朋友之間應該互相幫助 270 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,400 雖然一直都是你照顧我 271 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,720 不過我知道你樂於助人 272 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,480 這次再給你一次機會,照顧我 273 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,760 還照顧你?每一次照顧你 274 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,600 我都差點沒命 275 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,800 這次你非救不可,我被人追殺 276 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,200 我要在你家裡避一避 277 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,720 啊!還要到我家去 278 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,360 你不弄死我,你是心裡難受呀 279 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,440 算了吧!算我求求你 280 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,480 你就放過我這一次吧! 281 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,120 我現在正趕去跟我未來的岳母喝茶 282 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,720 再見了 283 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,520 未來岳母 284 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,160 我不管,我要錢買東西吃 285 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:40,920 好…買… 286 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,480 買東西吃,快,給我錢…給我 287 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,320 拿這一張… 288 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,840 阿龍我有事要跟你說 289 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,240 本來我是要你7萬塊聘金 290 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,360 70桌酒席、700打西餅的 291 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,320 不過,現在告訴你一個好消息 292 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,760 我不要西餅了 293 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:57,440 那太好了 294 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,280 我要你方便喔!折現好了 295 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,360 15萬聘金、100桌酒席 296 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,680 還有,你們到歐洲渡蜜月 297 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,880 我也要去 298 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,360 給我訂個位置 299 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,000 妳…妳也要去? 300 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:11,920 那…我們…? 301 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,320 這有什麼關係? 302 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,280 我跟媽睡床 303 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,720 你睡沙發不就行了嗎? 304 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,400 媽 305 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,400 我…沙發… 306 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,880 是啦!帶我一起出去玩一玩 307 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,520 不可以是不是? 308 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,720 那倒不是,只是妳的聘金太多了 309 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,280 我受不了,妳不知道我爸爸在美國 310 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,400 身體不好,老是住醫院 311 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,720 學校裡的學生又總是出事 312 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,760 被抓去坐牢,沒有學生 313 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,040 校長要減我的薪水 314 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,840 再說三叔他又死了 315 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,600 我銀行裡的錢都拿來幫他辦後事了 316 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,520 我…我實在…是…我 317 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,520 Hi,龍兄 318 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,440 你… 319 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:44,560 這麼巧呀! 320 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,000 他是誰呀? 321 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,760 我是他的同學兼老朋友Lolanto 322 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,480 你別擔心,你這次媒我做定了 323 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,720 你發財了,不認識我了 324 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,840 小弟給我們來一個魚翅,冷盤 325 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:56,760 好的 326 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,000 你真有眼光 327 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,960 九年前就知道他會發財 328 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,480 發財? 329 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,920 你們不知道嗎? 330 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,640 他父親在美國很照得住呀 331 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:06,240 那你為什麼說 332 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,840 你父親在美國老是住醫院呢? 333 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,840 當然,他非住醫院不可嘛 334 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,160 因為醫院是他開的嘛 335 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,800 在美國醫生收費很貴的 336 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,240 想不發財都不行呀 337 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,280 光是上個月 338 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,720 就寄了20萬美金過來 339 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,360 20萬美金? 340 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,920 你幹什麼? 341 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,480 不是,說錯了,是50萬美金才對 342 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,080 他不是說學校學生少要減薪水嗎? 343 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,280 學生少?對了…他可勁 344 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,760 他準備自己開間學校 345 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,240 所以就把全部學生都挖走 346 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,920 學生當然少啦 347 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,520 不是… 348 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,520 他還說銀行的錢都拿走 349 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,760 辦他叔叔後事去 350 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,120 那他太聰明了 351 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,560 他早看準了港幣會貶值 352 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,640 所以就把港幣都換成了美金 353 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,600 他真厲害 354 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,240 夠意思吧! 355 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,280 講了這麼多沒人應該講的好話 356 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,000 這個忙幫得大啦 357 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,640 大禍臨頭,她要15萬聘金 358 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,480 100桌酒席、還要去歐洲呢 359 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,040 妳以為妳女兒是黃金做的,這麼貴 360 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,000 你說什麼? 361 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,280 不…他開玩笑 362 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,760 我沒開玩笑,15萬 363 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,160 玩女人可以玩一輩子 364 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,000 哼!阿龍,一分鐘之內 365 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,920 這個人不走,就我走 366 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,400 拜拜 367 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,360 貞德… 368 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,240 大胖子 369 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:22,840 伯母 370 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000 你要是不馬上跟這個豬朋狗友絕交 371 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,440 我死都不把女兒嫁給你 372 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,800 伯母,妳別走… 373 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,440 玲玲… 374 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,960 拜拜 375 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:32,760 你呀 376 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,320 怎麼樣?夠朋友吧! 377 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,720 一天之內,幫你除掉兩個大害 378 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:36,840 還省下這麼多錢 379 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,240 你心裡一定很感激我,對嗎? 380 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,680 你以後不要在我面前出現 381 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,680 龍胖子,你還沒有買單 382 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:44,840 等等 383 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,880 龍胖子,別這麼絕嘛 384 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,280 沒什麼好說的,我不想說了 385 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,840 你也不必說了 386 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:53,920 小時候,你欠我那麼多錢 387 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,080 我第一次求你,怎麼? 388 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,840 你媽… 389 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,640 為人師表,不說三字經 390 00:17:58,720 --> 00:17:59,880 師表… 391 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,080 龍胖子,你不要這樣沒義氣 392 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,720 看在朋友份上,住幾天總可以吧 393 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,080 要不這樣吧!當租給我好了 394 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,880 我領教過了,放暑假的時候 395 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:10,960 在我家住的那幾天 396 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,560 打破我的錢桶,去買黃色小說 397 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,400 把我妹妹介紹給人家,收介紹費 398 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,400 拿我爸爸的避孕袋當氣球吹 399 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,360 我還讓你住,做夢 400 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,440 龍胖子,給我一個改過自新的機會 401 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,840 說真的 402 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,440 自從我離開學校以後 403 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,680 我就開始後悔、慚愧 404 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:28,800 我怎麼可以對我的生死之交 405 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,120 做這種事呢? 406 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,000 我決定改過自新了 407 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,640 我戒煙、戒酒、戒色 408 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,640 我還戒打架,我還戒… 409 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,120 我知道就少戒一樣 410 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,520 少戒了什麼? 411 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,080 說謊話 412 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,600 你真的不讓我在你家住? 413 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,600 不讓 414 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,240 你不後悔 415 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,320 我就死在你面前 416 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,840 哈哈… 417 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:49,840 老伯…如果我死了 418 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,680 你看清楚,就是這個胖子害死我的 419 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,080 老兄…你要主持公道 420 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,120 還好我手腳靈活 421 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,240 我警告你,你洗完頭馬上走 422 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,560 不然我叫警察 423 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,120 我不是跟你開玩笑的 424 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,240 Lolanto,我真的去報警 425 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,560 哪兒去了? 426 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,600 你真會享受,你偷東西吃倒蠻快的 427 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,880 不是呀,我是幫你減肥呀 428 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,720 穿衣服給我走 429 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,000 倫狄龍,你跟貞德交往多久了 430 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,520 九年了,怎麼? 431 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,640 我敢打賭,你還在門外呆著呢 432 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,640 什麼意思? 433 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,840 碰都沒碰過她一下 434 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,080 我的私生活,不必你管 435 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,120 你希不希望她對你千依百順 436 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,320 服服貼貼,我有辦法 437 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,320 讓你馬到成功,直搗黃龍 438 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,040 這是什麼意思? 439 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,240 有我在,保證你一個月之內成功 440 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,360 不成功,再趕我走呀 441 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,600 還有我分擔你一半的房租 442 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,360 水費、電費都歸我 443 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,160 那管理費呢? 444 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,240 也算我的好了 445 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,760 你是不是真心要幫我? 446 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,760 如果不是的話,天打雷劈 447 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,520 不是,罰我賭錢永遠贏不了 448 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,120 好,讓你住下也可以 449 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,760 不過約法三章 450 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,840 可以 451 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,080 福特怎麼說? 452 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,920 我們深入討論好幾次 453 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,840 福特醫生認為她腦部受到的損害 454 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,240 是後天造成的 455 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,520 但很可能動過手術 456 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,720 她會恢復正常 457 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,400 腦都要開刀? 458 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,280 嗯!這種手術危險性非常高 459 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,360 恢復智力或導致死亡 460 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,480 機會各一半 461 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,640 只有一半的機會 462 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,440 其實她現在活得很開心 463 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,000 所以我覺得你應該考慮清楚 464 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,880 才讓她動手術 465 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,320 不用考慮了,我寧願她死 466 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,000 也不要她像白痴 467 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,480 Hi,親愛的 468 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,720 寶貝,妳回來啦 469 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,360 這是我的女朋友,珍妮 470 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,480 幫我把東西拿到樓上去 471 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,000 好 472 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,360 怎麼樣?到哪兒去了? 473 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,320 我花了幾萬塊買新衣服去了 474 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,400 我叫阿成幫我拿到樓上 475 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,080 小蚊,妳怎麼不叫人呀? 476 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,760 醫生伯伯、阿姨 477 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,000 醫生伯伯、阿姨,我要出去玩 478 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,160 我決定讓她動手術 479 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,800 我回公司去了,我送你 480 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:12,840 好的 481 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,560 老不死現在出去了 482 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,080 不要… 483 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:10,880 幹什麼? 484 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,320 妳剛才看到什麼? 485 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:16,040 你欺負她,還壓她,還揉她 486 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,600 不准妳講給別人聽 487 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,040 要是不聽話,我就打死妳 488 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,840 不要怕,叔叔是在跟妳開玩笑 489 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,480 我們在玩遊戲 490 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,000 不過妳千萬不要告訴別人 491 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,080 他好兇,我不要理他 492 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,720 Lolanto害得我沒法生兒子 493 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,280 我也要讓他絕子絕孫 494 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,760 我非要砍了他… 495 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,360 大哥,美女呀 496 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,640 大哥,她好像對你有意思 497 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,840 還用你說,我長得這麼帥 498 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,160 所有的女孩子都會喜歡我的 499 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,000 小姐,一個人嗎? 500 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,000 妳的男朋友是不是失約了? 501 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,120 你長得好像科學小飛俠 502 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,920 對,妳說得對極了 503 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,600 我根本就是飛俠嘛 504 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:41,840 笑什麼? 505 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,760 大哥,真棒 506 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,720 今天晚上我陪妳呀! 507 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,440 你喜歡到哪裡去玩? 508 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,600 聽唱歌 509 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,600 飛上天上…啊… 510 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,080 我告訴妳,不是我吹牛 511 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,440 我唱的歌,是一流的 512 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,120 走開,別丟人現眼了 513 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,120 吉他 514 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:15,840 人前豪氣輕消,憤怒滿世上 515 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:16,880 大哥,真棒 516 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,840 什麼鬼叫鬼叫的,下來吧 517 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,400 回家唱給自己聽吧! 518 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,240 唱成這樣,也敢跑到台上去 519 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,240 我真佩服你呀 520 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,240 回家唱給自己聽吧! 521 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,920 我要飛向太陽… 522 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000 裡面好熱鬧呀 523 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,600 為人師表我不能夠進歌廳的 524 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,600 又不是帶你去酒家,快走 525 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,120 我怕讓貞德的親戚看到就不好嘛 526 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,600 你背後什麼東西? 527 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,320 學生的家庭作業,我還沒有改好 528 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,800 你閉上眼睛,我推你進去不就得了 529 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,640 不行… 530 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,360 你眼睛一閉,不就進來了嗎? 531 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,680 Lolanto,我們真是冤家路窄 532 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,120 我就說我們有緣嘛 533 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,440 倫長官,我們那邊坐 534 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,080 好… 535 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,080 幹嘛這麼客氣叫我倫長官呢? 536 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,920 叫我大頭就行了 537 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,000 你看什麼? 538 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,400 你是長官,看來不大像 539 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,880 我不像誰像? 540 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,920 你是哪個區的 541 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,880 黃大仙 542 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,560 這裡有沒有菊花茶呀? 543 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:30,760 菊花茶? 544 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,080 這個真是警察,還帶著槍 545 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:34,880 快拿兩杯酒來 546 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,680 好… 547 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:36,320 快點 548 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,480 那個小妞是誰? 549 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,840 倫長官,小弟敬你一杯 550 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,240 好… 551 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:42,560 倫長官是這麼輕易 552 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,240 跟人家喝兩杯的嗎? 553 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,120 再拿兩杯來 554 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,840 妳認識我嗎?我叫Lolanto 555 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:50,720 尊姓大名呀? 556 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,840 我?小姓余名叫人達 557 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,560 平常各位長官都叫我小達 558 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,240 倫長官,你就叫我小達可以了 559 00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,480 小達 560 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,480 倫長官 561 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,360 小達 562 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,760 倫長官 563 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,200 你別看我樣子和善 564 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,200 每年被我整死的人可多了 565 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,840 很多人過不了我這關 566 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,760 被我弄得多熬好幾年 567 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,840 有個笨蛋,被我整得熬了七年 568 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,240 倫長官,多多包涵 569 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,160 這個小意思,如果你兒子或親戚 570 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,680 有什麼問題,你就跟我說一聲好了 571 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:26,720 我一定幫你忙的 572 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,600 謝謝倫長官 573 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,360 等一下我送妳回家 574 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:31,880 我不要回家 575 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,400 那到我家去 576 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,040 你家有沒有電視呀? 577 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,200 看電視呀 578 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,600 我也喜歡看電視呀 579 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,400 倫長官,我有個兄弟出了點問題 580 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,280 你想想辦法,說說情怎麼樣? 581 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,640 什麼問題? 582 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,280 他被判笞刑 583 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,440 現在還有用鞭子打的嗎?哪班的 584 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,760 就是你那區呀 585 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,000 新樂都,你不知道這個案子呀? 586 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,720 新樂都?我都沒聽說過 587 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,080 是不是新開的,舊的我就知道 588 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,120 是這樣的 589 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,960 起初不知道他沒到法定年齡 590 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,360 警察胡里胡塗就把他抓進去了 591 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,640 不到年齡警察就抓人呀? 592 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,440 我要打電話到教育部去查一查 593 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,520 教育部? 594 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,200 喂,你到底是哪裡的長官? 595 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,680 我呀,我中、英、數、理、化 596 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,880 歷史、地理、體育全都教過 597 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,440 原來你是學校教書的 598 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,840 我被你們兩個給唬了 599 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,240 來,給我把他們抓起來 600 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,040 是… 601 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,520 我是冤枉的…冤枉的 602 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:34,360 閉上嘴 603 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,560 把他們拉到後巷去 604 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,720 打到不能生兒子為止 605 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:42,880 妳認識了我 606 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,760 才知道什麼是真正的男人 607 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:45,440 人達 608 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,880 什麼事? 609 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,560 老婆,妳來是什麼事呀? 610 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,920 還說是談判,你現在是談判 611 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,680 還是談心 612 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,200 談判完了,到這裡來放鬆一下嘛 613 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,280 這個女孩子是誰? 614 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,280 女朋友,不是 615 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,800 是Lolanto的女朋友 616 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,760 Lolanto,還不把女朋友送回去? 617 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:04,920 好 618 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,080 大嫂,她是我的女朋友 619 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:08,920 是…是他的女朋友 620 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,240 對了,達哥欠我的5千塊 621 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,840 沒還給妳呀? 622 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:12,400 達哥… 623 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,520 喂,我什麼時候欠你5千塊錢 624 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:15,280 你忘了? 625 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,640 是沒有嘛 626 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,320 大嫂,達哥他… 627 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,320 對…上次打麻將的事 628 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,720 打麻將? 629 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,840 對…打麻將的事 630 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,800 他媽的 631 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,880 多謝達哥,我先走了 632 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:29,720 拜拜 633 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,560 大嫂,大哥很靠得住,走 634 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,080 拜拜 635 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:38,160 喂 636 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:38,800 老婆 637 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,960 剛才那個真的是Lolanto的女朋友 638 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,040 是真的 639 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,280 我怎麼敢騙妳呢?老婆 640 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,720 達哥,我忘了提醒你 641 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,600 莉莉要你明天拿家用錢給她 642 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:50,480 王八蛋 643 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,680 不要走 644 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,200 剩下兩隻蝦,這隻是妳的 645 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,800 大的是我的 646 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:58,800 總算把廚房洗乾淨了 647 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,480 該我享受了 648 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,520 蝦呢?你們兩個全吃光了 649 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,520 我是這麼沒良心的人嗎? 650 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,320 我早就留了一盤蝦片給你了 651 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,000 蝦片 652 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,720 時候不早了,叫她走吧 653 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:23,840 急什麼急嘛 654 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,320 約法三章第二條 655 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,960 你的房間不能夠收留任何女人 656 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,520 煩都讓你煩死了 657 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,280 你走運了,原來她喜歡你 658 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,040 已經睡到你床上了 659 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,320 不會吧! 660 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:40,600 這麼慢呀? 661 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:41,040 妳等一等 662 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,280 我還沒穿褲子,等一等… 663 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,000 求求你快把她給帶走 664 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:45,960 我不收你的管理費 665 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:47,440 小兒科 666 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,200 水電費也不收 667 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,480 糟了,貞德有鑰匙的 668 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,280 我不收你三個月租金,行了吧! 669 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,840 我看有錢比較好說話 670 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:55,880 你先給我三個月租金 671 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:56,520 真的? 672 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,800 我再慢慢的還給你,答不答應? 673 00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,040 拿著 674 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,600 阿龍 675 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:04,360 阿龍 676 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,400 快 677 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,320 我穿好褲子了 678 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,000 搞定 679 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,760 媽上個月起了一個互助會 680 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,160 要你參加一份 681 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,760 我已經供了七個死會了 682 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,760 這是存錢,明年我們結婚 683 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,880 要150桌酒席的 684 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,560 那好吧,上就上吧 685 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,560 什麼時候開始呀? 686 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,480 上個月呀 687 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,200 媽已經替你標了第一會了 688 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:30,560 已經替我標了? 689 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,920 是呀,我們的房子要裝修 690 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,760 明年裝修還不如今年做 691 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,400 可以多用一年嘛,真沒腦袋 692 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,440 又要付死會了 693 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,440 喂,那對鞋… 694 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,000 你踢我幹什麼? 695 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:49,840 沒有,我… 696 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,360 怎麼有一隻這麼小的鞋在這兒 697 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:54,400 這個鞋… 698 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:55,760 這隻鞋我找了一個晚上 699 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,960 原來在妳手上,真是 700 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,280 是他的 701 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,480 我走了 702 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,680 我來開門 703 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,240 記住交會錢呀 704 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,000 知道了 705 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,240 我家裡的冰箱、洗衣機 706 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,840 電視機的分期付款錢 707 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,520 我弟弟妹妹學費都沒交 708 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,800 你記住明天把錢送到醫院來給我 709 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,920 還有,你要把那些東西吃光 710 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,560 要不然變壞了,吃了會生病的 711 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:18,760 病了就要住醫院 712 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:19,680 現在醫院是旺季 713 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,320 門診要排很久的 714 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:22,600 差點忘了打電話通知我媽 715 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:23,880 到樓下接我 716 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,280 貞德,我愛妳 717 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,600 幹什麼?你瘋了 718 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:27,800 妳是月亮,妳是我的太陽 719 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:28,760 你放手呀你 720 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,600 我活著沒有意義 721 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,560 你下流、卑鄙、無恥 722 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:33,960 我再也不理你了 723 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,560 貞德 724 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,760 早 725 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,800 我在上廁所 726 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,200 你在這邊幹什麼? 727 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,680 小便你沒見過呀 728 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,520 我是坐著小便的 729 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,400 妳站著看著我幹什麼?快出去 730 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,840 那麼兇罵我 731 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,320 你這麼下流,這麼沒有人格 732 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,560 這是誤會呀 733 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,560 誤會?你當場被人抓住,還說誤會 734 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,400 她哭得死去活來還說誤會 735 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,320 不對,我覺得她腦筋有問題 736 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,240 我的眼睛可沒問題 737 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:27,840 是真的,她連男人站著小便 738 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,040 都不知道呀 739 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,480 哈…你真幽默 740 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:31,600 好 741 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,760 妳知不知道男人是怎麼樣小便的 742 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,040 站著嘛 743 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,560 聽到了吧! 744 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,480 我打電話報警 745 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,840 他剛告訴我的 746 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,400 妳住什麼地方? 747 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,840 不知道 748 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,000 妳爸爸姓什麼? 749 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,440 不知道 750 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:52,560 過來 751 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,200 她真的有點低能 752 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,600 不止是有點,簡直非常嚴重 753 00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,560 她根本就像七八歲的小女孩 754 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:00,800 怎麼辦? 755 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,400 把她趕出去 756 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,520 太殘忍了吧 757 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:04,960 殘忍?我們被人家控告 758 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,280 誘拐低能少女的時候就更殘忍了 759 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,400 可是她傻兮兮的 760 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,840 把她趕走會出事情的 761 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:12,920 我看把她送到警察局 762 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,840 他們有辦法送她回家的 763 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,040 我不要回家… 764 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,840 阿姨會打我的 765 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:19,920 妳家人虐待妳呀? 766 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,840 不然她怎麼會離家出走呢? 767 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:27,240 喂,那她回家不是更慘 768 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:28,640 那就收留她好囉 769 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,560 我們兩個男人怎麼可以… 770 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,200 我們正正當當不會有問題 771 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,320 好 772 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,000 我們先留她在這兒住一下 773 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,160 等她找到她家的地址再說 774 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,640 房東,你作主 775 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,200 你們都是些飯桶 776 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,840 這麼多人找個女孩子都找不到 777 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,840 老大,一場馬十幾匹 778 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,680 想賭哪匹贏都那麼難 779 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,480 何況香港那麼多人 780 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:51,640 你叫我們到哪處找? 781 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,280 三天之內如果再找不到 782 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,240 就不要找了,再找別的 783 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,440 找什麼?老大 784 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,120 殯儀館 785 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,280 幫我做生意的那個余人達 786 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,080 怎麼還沒來呢? 787 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,360 已經來了 788 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,600 你來晚了,老大發脾氣 789 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,040 我也是老大,我是來跟他合作 790 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:14,800 不是做他的手下 791 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,080 你就是Mr. Bill Liao嗎? 792 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,640 Yes,不過我不跟人家合作的 793 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:24,480 跟我做事的都是俺的手下 794 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,920 你以為你是老大就很大嗎? 795 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,360 那麼就別談了,走 796 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,560 仗著人多欺負人少 797 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:37,720 義字加信,拼死拉倒,上 798 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,480 上 799 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,160 還不上呀 800 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,720 老大,打不過就要退 801 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,440 總比被人壓在地上好 802 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,240 你們兩個沒出息的小子 803 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,600 好,看我一個人殺出重圍 804 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:50,920 好… 805 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,040 香港是個法治的社會 806 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:56,880 我們都是受過高等教育的人 807 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,160 不需要動武 808 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,440 Mr. Bill Liao 809 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,920 我看,我們談些有意義 810 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,400 和有建設的事,好嗎? 811 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,560 好,做我手下最有意義的 812 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:06,760 是不會被人打 813 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,160 最有建設性是把我女兒找回來 814 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,760 這個是Lolanto的女朋友呀 815 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,040 Lolanto?哪個Lolanto 816 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,160 就是那個一天到晚吹牛的那個 817 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,080 立刻派人去把Lolanto抓回來 818 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,080 知道了,廖棒先生 819 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:27,960 我要吃冰棒 820 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,960 好呀,自己買去吧! 821 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,640 又讓她吃冰棒 822 00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:33,920 讓她吃嘛 823 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,840 我登了報,替人補習 824 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,840 每星期三次,每次一小時 825 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,280 一小時80塊 826 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,800 要錢不要命呀 827 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,080 我要付八個死會 828 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,440 有十幾樣東西要分期付款 829 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,520 我說好了,連大人也可以補習 830 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:51,640 要是有人來我不在的話 831 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:53,920 你先替我照顧著,好不好? 832 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,080 我去洗澡 833 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:02,160 小佩、蕭玲玲、咪咪,哪一個好? 834 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:18,120 回來了? 835 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,080 有空再來呀 836 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,120 拜拜 837 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:25,840 先生,只收170塊,有興趣嗎? 838 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,080 改天吧 839 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,920 又是誰按門鈴? 840 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,320 怎麼沒人? 841 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:38,720 長得這麼矮 842 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,320 一定是看報紙來的,請進來 843 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,280 好 844 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:44,320 請 845 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,600 先坐一會 846 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,600 不好意思,剛剛在吃飯 847 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,040 她怎麼不開門? 848 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,320 他正在洗澡,沒有關係 849 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,720 我是他經理人,有什麼跟我說好了 850 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:55,840 看你吃飯的方法 851 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,040 就知道你是她的經理人了 852 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,120 每星期三次,每次一小時 853 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,800 每小時80塊 854 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:03,400 這麼便宜 855 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,600 是呀 856 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,240 不過每星期三次,是不是多了點? 857 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,320 像你這個年紀,是要勤快點 858 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:10,640 不然追不上年青人 859 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:13,120 將勤補拙,多學一點東西嘛 860 00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:14,680 什麼?還有東西學 861 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:15,880 當然啦,十幾科 862 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,720 每一科她都精通的 863 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,400 還有十幾科呀? 864 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,960 外邊只懂得一兩科而已 865 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:24,800 這怎麼相同呢 866 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,160 我們開業酬賓大贈送 867 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,600 一律八折,全科候教 868 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,920 算了,我還是先試一次吧 869 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,560 沒有關係,如果試過滿意的話 870 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,200 多介紹一點親友來照顧 871 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,880 這當然啦 872 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,840 每天下午4點到半夜12點 873 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:39,920 隨時候教 874 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,960 怎麼這麼晚才開門營業呢? 875 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,480 因為早上要上課 876 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,800 還在上學,棒極了 877 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,720 那我先去房裡等她 878 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,320 老兄,你怎麼喜歡進房去等? 879 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,680 這100塊錢,剩下的小費 880 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:57,200 你真識相,有什麼需要?咖啡或茶 881 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,720 有沒有袋呀? 882 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,560 袋?什麼袋? 883 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,400 膠袋,你們有嗎? 884 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,840 雞皮袋倒有一個,你要不要? 885 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,480 是不是粗了點 886 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,760 既然你這麼識相 887 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,400 我幫你到街上去買,你進房慢慢等 888 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,840 你真上路 889 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,040 是有點書卷氣 890 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,720 老兄 891 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:46,400 生意這麼好 892 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,920 怎麼?我還沒脫褲子,下家就來了 893 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,240 什麼上家下家? 894 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,120 老兄,我先付了錢 895 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,960 你在外面等等好嗎? 896 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,280 你把錢交給誰呀? 897 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,280 那個大眼睛,一個星期三次 898 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,920 每次一小時,每小時80塊 899 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,600 原來是找我的 900 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,560 你就是那個十幾科 901 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,840 科科皆精的那個? 902 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,280 是我呀 903 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,720 怪不得那麼便宜 904 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,440 老兄,我不喜歡這一科 905 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,080 那你喜歡哪一科,我科科都精 906 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,760 我科科都不喜歡,我要賠錢 907 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,400 給個面子,試一試吧 908 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,840 我不收錢,免費 909 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,880 我求求你不要纏著我好不好 910 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,760 老兄,大袋小袋全都在這兒 911 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,040 你要哪種? 912 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,440 兔崽子,你敢耍我 913 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:30,720 什麼耍你? 914 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,080 你們還沒有開始上課嗎? 915 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:32,720 就是呀 916 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,120 開始上課? 917 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:36,000 我是替人補習的 918 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,400 替人補習?我是來召妓的 919 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,720 下流 920 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,280 校長,我帶了老同學羅先生來代課 921 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,440 校長,妳好? 922 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,400 噓…校長不太舒服 923 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,720 有什麼跟我說好了 924 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:54,840 校長不舒服呀? 925 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,120 沒什麼,我最近老是頭暈 926 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:58,520 記憶力不好 927 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,200 醫生說我有點神經衰弱 928 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:02,560 如果再不多休息 929 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,440 很可能會產生一些幻覺 930 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:05,840 是呀,校長 931 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,080 女人不補,很容易變老的 932 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,640 喝點雞精吧! 933 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:12,840 那是墨水 934 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,960 唉喲!我真的是神經衰弱 935 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,000 怎麼辦呢? 936 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,880 校長,關於羅先生代課的事情… 937 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,800 校長,這種小事情交給我辦好了 938 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,480 妳休息吧! 939 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,240 嗯 940 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,000 我是校長的特別助理 941 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,520 看來你也不像有經驗 942 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,800 70塊錢一天,出去… 943 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,800 校長,妳是不是整天被他這樣按摩 944 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:35,800 是呀 945 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,840 我叔叔是精神科的針灸專家 946 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,600 我跟他學過好幾年 947 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,120 我看到很多病人被這樣的按摩 948 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,520 結果… 949 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,400 怎麼樣? 950 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,480 全都進了精神病院 951 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:49,880 不會吧! 952 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,840 最好是不會,校長請妳站起來 953 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,480 我替妳檢查一下 954 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,040 校長,妳是不是常常覺得脖子 955 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,000 跟胳膊的後面,有一種酸痛的感覺 956 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,480 是呀… 957 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,880 那中午一點左右,吃過中飯以後 958 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,560 是不是常常想睡覺呢? 959 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,080 是呀… 960 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,280 麻煩大了,我替妳做個試驗 961 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,760 現在我用這枝筆 962 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,560 在妳脊椎骨後面的第八節 963 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,120 用力刺一下,看看妳有什麼感覺? 964 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:18,920 糟了 965 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,280 我一點感覺都沒有 966 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,200 所以說你不是專業人士 967 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,640 就不要亂按一通 968 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,640 現在校長的神經全給你按壞了 969 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,240 害得我要處理善後 970 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,000 校長 971 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,040 現在我要替妳做一種催眠安靜術 972 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:34,840 妳注意看我的手指頭 973 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:41,720 妳會越來越覺得安靜…安靜… 974 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,280 很安靜 975 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,800 是不是聽不到聲音了? 976 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,840 你放學以後就來替我治療, 好不好? 977 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:51,960 我也想這麼做 978 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,040 不過一天我只有70塊錢,不夠用 979 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,040 放學以後還要兼差 980 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,520 別急,以後我每個月給你七千塊 981 00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,920 把你包下來 982 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,440 比我還多 983 00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:03,840 各位早晨 984 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,840 我叫Lolanto 985 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,600 我是你們的英文老師 986 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,800 值日生… 987 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,240 出來,誰叫朱錦春? 988 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,320 叫我幹什麼? 989 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,280 擦黑板 990 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,840 我從來不擦黑板的 991 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,680 去年有三個老師叫我擦黑板 992 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,160 兩個躺在醫院,一個被我氣瘋了 993 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,120 還要不要擦? 994 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,000 這裡人多,我怕沒面子 995 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,840 到外面去,我們私下談談 996 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,080 不要打了,我去擦黑板 997 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:57,560 居然敢頂撞我 998 00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:58,840 你知不知道我是誰呀? 999 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,880 連校長都要怕我三分,我警告你呀 1000 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,400 明天測驗考不到90分 1001 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,640 我就敲爆你的頭,你聽到沒有? 1002 00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:07,640 聽到了… 1003 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,120 倫老師這次給了我們三個零蛋 1004 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:15,840 太過份了 1005 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,680 是呀 1006 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:17,800 讓他嚐嚐苦頭 1007 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,800 好 1008 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,840 何老師… 1009 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,880 看什麼?出去 1010 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,840 想記大過,回教室去,走 1011 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,000 老大,倫老師被人耍了 1012 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:51,480 是嗎?去看看 1013 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,400 糟了,來不及了 1014 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,320 你幹什麼? 1015 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:04,680 幹什麼? 1016 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,040 你分明是對我有不軌企圖 1017 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,600 不行,我要報警抓你 1018 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,960 不…李校長…我…沒有 1019 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,360 校長 1020 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:17,520 做什麼? 1021 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,440 你…你們兩個光著身子 1022 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,440 戴一條領帶,穿一條內褲 1023 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:23,480 想幹什麼? 1024 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,560 什麼? 1025 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,120 妳別跟我開玩笑,好不好? 1026 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,000 我今天穿著這麼整齊,三件頭套裝 1027 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,280 妳看,一件、二件、三件 1028 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:34,400 三件頭套裝 1029 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:40,320 倫老師,你這件襯衫好帥,真絲的 1030 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:41,760 是呀… 1031 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:46,520 嘩…名牌貨,Pierre Cardin 1032 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:47,880 什麼?你說什麼? 1033 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,480 你們在講外國話 1034 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,760 你們明明沒穿衣服吧 1035 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,280 校長,我懷疑妳的神經衰弱惡化了 1036 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:57,880 妳有沒有再讓何主任按摩? 1037 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,520 沒有… 1038 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,600 就算有,也不過一次而已 1039 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,480 唉!一次就可以弄出人命來 1040 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,680 沒得救了,妳就產生幻覺了 1041 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:10,960 妳不能再相信妳的視覺 1042 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,880 要相信妳的觸覺,閉上眼睛 1043 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,320 啊 1044 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,360 妳摸一下我的西裝 1045 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,400 摸到是什麼料子嗎? 1046 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:19,880 摸到了… 1047 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,040 睜開眼睛來看看 1048 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:23,840 你怎麼沒穿衣服 1049 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,440 所以呢 1050 00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,680 校長,妳現在不能相信我們 1051 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,080 要相信自己的眼睛 1052 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,800 我隨便叫一個學生進來 1053 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:32,760 喂… 1054 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,760 正好,你進來 1055 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:37,960 跟校長說早 1056 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,240 校長,早 1057 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:39,920 有沒有穿衣服呀? 1058 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,120 當然有啦 1059 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:42,840 校長,妳有沒有看到穿衣服? 1060 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,480 是呀…他沒穿衣服… 1061 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,120 那妳是看到我們三個人都沒穿衣服 1062 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,080 我看見你們三個都只穿了一條內褲 1063 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,880 我懂了,妳是潛意識裡 1064 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,520 想看到穿內褲的男人,對不對? 1065 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,080 一個月大概一次吧! 1066 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:04,680 妳不要欺騙我這種專業人士 1067 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,120 會判斷錯誤的 1068 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:10,720 其實…一個星期只有一、兩天… 1069 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,560 是不想的 1070 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,520 那真的要深入徹底的治療了 1071 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,760 何先生,你怎麼不穿衣服進校長室 1072 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,880 校長,妳是不是看他穿得很整齊呀 1073 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,360 是呀,他穿著整套的西裝 1074 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,680 這完全是幻覺 1075 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,720 何先生,我不屑與你為伍 1076 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:31,840 你沒有資格做我老師 1077 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,080 卑鄙 1078 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:35,280 校長… 1079 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,520 為什麼不穿衣服進我辦公室? 1080 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,360 什麼?我沒穿衣服呀? 1081 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,280 小蚊 1082 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:46,920 Lolanto 1083 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,080 怎麼樣?今天做什麼了? 1084 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:50,560 畫圖畫,摺紙飛機 1085 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,400 摺紙飛機? 1086 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:52,160 來,我們一起摺 1087 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,320 好 1088 00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:02,800 我的天 1089 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:04,920 嘩…這麼多呀 1090 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,920 是呀,我都從這裡飛出去的 1091 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:08,720 還有嗎? 1092 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,640 有…有好多 1093 00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,240 又鈔票又支票,飛了很多出去 1094 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,920 是呀,我從大頭的房裡拿出來的 1095 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,240 與我無關 1096 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:21,240 今天是我有生以來 1097 00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,800 第一次想罵三字經,妳… 1098 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,800 我已經幫你救回了很多了 1099 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:27,040 她把我學生的家庭作業簿 1100 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:27,960 全都給畫花了 1101 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:29,680 把我的錢、支票和銀行的存摺 1102 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,840 全都摺成了紙飛機了,你知道嗎? 1103 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,120 妳害得我好慘呀 1104 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:36,680 妳… 1105 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:37,720 好兇喔! 1106 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,040 你是不是大男人? 1107 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,480 一點同情心都沒有? 1108 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,800 她是低能兒嘛 1109 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:43,760 我同情她,誰同情我? 1110 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:44,680 她沒有丟你多少東西 1111 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,480 我的東西她動都沒有動 1112 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:47,720 對呀,我只拿他枕頭 1113 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,560 下面的金色娃娃紙來摺 1114 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,520 對呀,她只拿我…什麼? 1115 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,880 那枕頭底下的金色娃娃紙 1116 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,440 不會是這些吧! 1117 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,800 是呀…這些好好摺,都飛光了 1118 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,920 唉喲!妳把我害慘了,我掐死妳 1119 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,760 不管用什麼辦法?你立刻帶她走 1120 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,280 走得越遠越好 1121 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:08,600 從這裡上去 1122 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,680 好 1123 00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:15,760 我們到哪兒去呀? 1124 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:16,840 我們來玩捉迷藏 1125 00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:17,840 妳捉我藏,好不好? 1126 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:18,680 好呀… 1127 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:19,760 妳數十下 1128 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,120 一、二、三、四、五、六 1129 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:25,200 七、八、九、十 1130 00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,280 我是罪人 1131 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,840 對,人人都是罪人 1132 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,600 一生下來就有罪 1133 00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,280 只有上帝才可以救你 1134 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,000 對,我是罪人 1135 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,840 你應該浪子回頭了,小弟兄 1136 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:47,960 我真該死 1137 00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,240 你願意受洗嗎? 1138 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:51,800 我應該被槍斃 1139 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,240 你蒙主寵召之後 1140 00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,040 上帝自然會召你去天堂的 1141 00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,160 不可以,我要帶她回家 1142 00:48:58,280 --> 00:48:59,440 只要你打開門 1143 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,920 上帝一定會進入你家 1144 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,000 小偷會進來啦 1145 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,680 先生,你有沒有看到 1146 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:13,840 一個傻傻的人從這兒走過? 1147 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:14,680 有 1148 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:15,440 在哪裡呀? 1149 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,200 就是你嘛 1150 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,880 龍胖子,我知道我這個人太差勁了 1151 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,040 豈止呀,簡直無恥 1152 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,000 對 1153 00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:49,840 我居然把一個低能無知的少女 1154 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,600 丟在路上 1155 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,920 我不是人,我是禽獸 1156 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,280 我禽獸不如,我是跳蚤 1157 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,520 你不是跳蚤,你是蟑螂 1158 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:00,840 Shut up! 1159 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,480 小蚊 1160 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,080 妳是怎麼回來的? 1161 00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:09,360 你都沒她聰明 1162 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:10,840 她頭帶裡有一隻紙飛機 1163 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,440 上面電話號碼、姓名地址全都有 1164 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,400 計程車司機把她送到家門口 1165 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,360 拜託你下次把她送近一點,好不好 1166 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:18,160 送到那麼遠 1167 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,120 害得我花了500塊車費呀 1168 00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:22,480 才500塊錢,還給你不就是了嘛 1169 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:24,760 妳怕不怕? 1170 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,080 下次我一定不會這麼做了 1171 00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:27,280 明天帶妳去玩 1172 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:28,400 好呀 1173 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:03,560 那不是Lolanto嗎? 1174 00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:04,040 是呀 1175 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,320 快通知老大 1176 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:10,800 胖子呢? 1177 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:13,680 貞德她媽跟鄰居吵架,吵輸了 1178 00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,280 要我幫忙吵,晚一點回來,阿龍 1179 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,480 嘩…這些顏色好漂亮呀 1180 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,000 妳喜歡就可以了 1181 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,120 Lolanto你為什麼喜歡我? 1182 00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:25,720 我…我是騙子 1183 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,120 把妳養胖了,拿去賣喔 1184 00:51:28,240 --> 00:51:29,760 才不會這樣子 1185 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,240 妳去畫畫吧 1186 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,440 我想留到明天再畫 1187 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,280 也好,那睡覺吧! 1188 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,800 我想跟你一起玩嘛 1189 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:40,720 玩什麼? 1190 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,600 我看見阿姨玩一種遊戲,好好玩啊 1191 00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:45,000 我們來玩 1192 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:46,240 玩什麼? 1193 00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:47,960 不許動,閉上眼睛 1194 00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:49,120 搞什麼鬼呀? 1195 00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,120 不許偷看啊 1196 00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:56,960 不許偷看 1197 00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,360 小蚊,妳幹什麼? 1198 00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:05,560 好不好玩? 1199 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,200 你也會玩這個遊戲,那該你了 1200 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,520 怎麼不過來? 1201 00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:25,840 為什麼不玩? 1202 00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:28,560 以後不許跟人家玩這種遊戲 1203 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,280 不可以,絕對不可以 1204 00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:37,600 無緣無故你拉我去澳門幹什麼? 1205 00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,200 難道帶你去兜風 1206 00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:40,640 今天牌神要發我薪水 1207 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,120 我今天眼睛跳 1208 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:44,760 眼睛跳,你還賭錢 1209 00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,720 你懂不懂什麼是眼睛跳? 1210 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,480 左眼跳財,右眼跳災 1211 00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,080 今天我左眼跳 1212 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:50,720 迷信 1213 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,000 不是嗎?上次我左眼跳 1214 00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,000 就中了頭獎,跟我走 1215 00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,160 這一次我已經拜過牌神 1216 00:52:58,280 --> 00:52:59,840 也找算命的算好了時辰 1217 00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:02,520 凡是能賭贏的方法,我全都背熟了 1218 00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:03,840 說的跟真的一樣 1219 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:04,800 你看到沒有? 1220 00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,800 這裡的樣子就像一個大鳥籠 1221 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,360 下面有對蝙蝠牙 1222 00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,040 進去就被吃得一踉一踉 1223 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,960 那…那我們從那邊進去好了 1224 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,080 那邊?那邊有流星槌和大刀 1225 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,840 一進去就把你砍成八塊 1226 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,080 砍得你全身血,輸個精光 1227 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,400 不過風水一定有罩門的 1228 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:22,640 這裡就是罩門了 1229 00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:23,840 從這裡進去就沒事 1230 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:24,720 那快進去 1231 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,520 等一等 1232 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:26,400 要把自己的生辰 1233 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,800 和今天的時辰配合好 1234 00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:29,800 你什麼時候出世的? 1235 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,400 亥時 1236 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,920 我現在去賭兩把,你隨便玩玩 1237 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:37,000 我只有100塊,你拿走了 1238 00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:38,600 我玩什麼? 1239 00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,000 給你十塊錢玩好了 1240 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,080 就十塊 1241 00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:44,520 風水時辰都配合了 1242 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,320 可以跟他拼到底了 1243 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,560 莊家是小六呀 1244 00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,240 二十點 1245 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:56,800 莊家是小六,她一定會拿大牌的 1246 00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,240 千萬別要牌,信者得救 1247 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,440 都不要了 1248 00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,920 公… 1249 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,960 都是你,不會賭就別來這兒了 1250 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,120 全給你害了… 1251 00:54:08,240 --> 00:54:09,520 贏了多少呀? 1252 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,400 是不是連那十塊錢也輸光了 1253 00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,360 誰說的,我的十塊還在 1254 00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:14,640 借給我押一把 1255 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,640 我就不信邪,再賭一把 1256 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:18,840 看看她能不能夠再贏 1257 00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:30,720 十六點,已經很不錯了,叫她爆 1258 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,000 投降 1259 00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:38,320 這麼倒霉 1260 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,840 那個算命的一定在耍我 1261 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,880 只剩下五塊了,怎麼賭? 1262 00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,320 喂,你們要不要臉 1263 00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,400 我輸剩五塊錢,還跟我爭? 1264 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:53,920 拿去輸吧!你 1265 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:58,840 現在才知道 1266 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,120 世界上最可憐的就是沒錢,再來 1267 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:02,960 換籌碼 1268 00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:08,880 這個胖女人走霉運了 1269 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:09,760 不要押她那邊 1270 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:10,160 對 1271 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:11,400 押這邊 1272 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,400 你走運了,老兄 1273 00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,400 真是走運了,二十一點 1274 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:19,480 加注 1275 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,240 加不加呀? 1276 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,120 沒得加 1277 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,400 這麼寒酸 1278 00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,400 先生,你幫他加點吧! 1279 00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,000 留十塊錢去打老虎機好了 1280 00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:31,200 可以贏100多萬的 1281 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:32,480 我替你加吧! 1282 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:39,640 公… Ace 1283 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:40,680 你有沒有弄錯呀 1284 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,120 Ace比公大嘛? 1285 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:45,840 好的也給你叫壞了 1286 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,600 真的來了個Ace 1287 00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,040 公… 1288 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,800 我們贏了 1289 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,240 有位子… 1290 00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,520 全押,二十塊 1291 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,480 公… 1292 00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,400 公… 1293 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,680 又是二十一點,我們贏了 1294 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:17,880 咱們贏了,該走了吧! 1295 00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,560 你有沒有搞錯呀,我正在走運 1296 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,800 你嚷我走,了不起少買一點 1297 00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,560 公… 1298 00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,080 加注 1299 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,840 妳加注呀,我分 1300 00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:40,920 還分 1301 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,480 這回走運了 1302 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:47,240 運到了 1303 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:49,800 這麼多Ace 1304 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,600 嘩…再分 1305 00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,200 我的媽,這不是邪門嗎? 1306 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,320 還是Ace 1307 00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:03,560 這麼巧,怎麼所有的Ace 1308 00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,360 全湊在一塊 1309 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:06,840 真是邪門 1310 00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,040 走運了,分 1311 00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:10,960 發牌呀 1312 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:17,240 公… 1313 00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:29,800 我們贏了 1314 00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:31,280 不知道你走了什麼狗屎運 1315 00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:32,800 什麼事?小姐 1316 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,200 你要加注嘛,發牌呀 1317 00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,240 可是沒有Ace了,不然發妳一張 1318 00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:43,120 小姐,恭喜妳,拿到了這麼大的牌 1319 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,040 莊家二十點 1320 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,000 小姐,拿出點勇氣來 1321 00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,600 多賭兩把,有志者事竟成 1322 00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:56,920 不賭了 1323 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,240 真是活見鬼,氣死 1324 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,640 算我走運了 1325 00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:06,320 再來 1326 00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:08,760 陳先生 1327 00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,000 陳先生,怎麼有空來玩呀? 1328 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:14,920 拿五萬塊籌碼,我簽單 1329 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,760 老兄,你是不是有狐臭 1330 00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:19,880 怎麼你一坐下來,人全走光了 1331 00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:21,840 陳先生玩牌,不喜歡人家看的 1332 00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:23,640 他的習慣跟我一樣 1333 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,200 喂,別這麼囂張 1334 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,920 看著他 1335 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,960 我有預感,這張牌是七 1336 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,640 三條七,要賠三倍的 1337 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,440 我也有預感是七,我吃點虧 1338 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:43,440 分開 1339 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:44,480 分… 1340 00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:45,840 這種牌還分 1341 00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,080 你的預感真靈,果然是七 1342 00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,480 還兩張一塊來,可惜給了我 1343 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,600 這盒牌一共有16張七,小姐 1344 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:07,800 三邊牌,小子 1345 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:15,560 怎麼多了一點 1346 00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:18,000 早知道我就替你擦掉它 1347 00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,240 又爆了,財運來了擋都擋不住 1348 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:26,920 你有種,我們走 1349 00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:30,800 給我們點茶錢 1350 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:31,600 等一等 1351 00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:32,360 是呀,先生 1352 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,440 賞給我們一點茶錢,小意思 1353 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:35,000 小弟 1354 00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:35,880 先生,什麼事? 1355 00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,040 來,你給我沏壼普洱、龍井、水仙 1356 00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,560 鐵觀音、檸檬茶、紅茶、烏龍茶 1357 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,440 當歸茶、還有苦茶 1358 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,960 全都送給這位小姐喝 1359 00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,400 可別說我沒有請妳喝茶呀 1360 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,640 龍胖子,起來,幫我拿籌碼 1361 00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,120 這次夠本了,我早就說 1362 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:53,880 要先配合風水時辰了嘛 1363 00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:57,440 不用怕,是我 1364 00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:01,320 我姓陳,朋友們都叫我Philip陳 1365 01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:04,480 風流陳,女人都怕風流疹 1366 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,040 是朋友們開玩笑 1367 01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:08,120 裡面限注碼,玩得不過癮 1368 01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:09,080 兩位敢不敢到 1369 01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:10,720 我的私家俱樂部去玩玩 1370 01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:11,840 有什麼不敢? 1371 01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,080 喂…那是他的地盤 1372 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,240 怕什麼?我算過命的 1373 01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:15,840 等一等,我打電話給九叔 1374 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,840 訂些補品,天九翅、貓頭鷹燉白鶴 1375 01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:20,920 牛鞭炒鮑魚 1376 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,520 百家樂,你玩過嗎? 1377 01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,080 當然玩過,跟買大小一樣嘛 1378 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,600 不是莊家贏,就是閒家贏 1379 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:37,560 買得大贏得大 1380 01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:40,080 就是這個原理,請下注 1381 01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,920 當然買閒家啦,莊家要吃紅的 1382 01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:44,640 別賭這麼大 1383 01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,200 你閉上嘴好不好,我正在走運 1384 01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:51,440 你押這麼多,閒家由你作主 1385 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:52,600 阿星 1386 01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:56,160 叫個印度阿差來,就叫印度百家樂 1387 01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:57,760 看他的德性,發牌 1388 01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,320 這個遊戲不發牌的 1389 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:00,840 不發牌,沒牌怎麼玩? 1390 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:02,040 你們把手伸進去 1391 01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:04,520 誰縮得快,誰就輸 1392 01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:06,000 那不是得玩一個晚上 1393 01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:07,000 那倒不會 1394 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,000 你們一定會有一個縮得很快 1395 01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,800 因為裡面有條眼鏡蛇 1396 01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:15,200 龍胖子,這麼容易,我看你來玩吧 1397 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,040 不行,我怕蛇,不行… 1398 01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:18,960 不可以,百家樂的規矩 1399 01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,840 誰下注碼大就誰玩 1400 01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:22,920 我看錢別要了,咱們走吧! 1401 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,880 錢不要了,你是在開玩笑嗎? 1402 01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:25,840 我在走運呢 1403 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,280 請 1404 01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,160 你還有什麼遺言,快點告訴我吧! 1405 01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:43,600 咱們贏了 1406 01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:45,520 那條蛇為什麼不咬你呀? 1407 01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:48,160 那條蛇沒有咬他,是我掐了他一下 1408 01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:52,600 有膽子再賭一把嗎? 1409 01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:54,480 不賭了…我們已經贏夠了 1410 01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,680 回家去吃天九翅吧! 1411 01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:58,400 他不知道是我掐的啦 1412 01:01:58,480 --> 01:01:59,480 這次讓你來 1413 01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:00,840 我在旁邊掩護,讓他們加大注 1414 01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:03,600 贏了我們就走,快點 1415 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,200 我來 1416 01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:08,400 你來? 1417 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,080 好,我找一個第一號殺手 1418 01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:14,160 阿星的大哥來陪你玩 1419 01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:16,360 阿里拉西 1420 01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:18,360 這小子功力深厚 1421 01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:20,920 輕鬆一點,我把注碼加得高一點 1422 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,320 來…買我們贏 1423 01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:24,080 來買… 1424 01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:25,600 別說我們贏了欺負你們 1425 01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,440 這次我先把手放進去 1426 01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:30,840 大家快買,快買…我贏 1427 01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:32,960 押得越多,贏得越大 1428 01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,240 我一定贏 1429 01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,400 要押得快點,要不然待會後悔 1430 01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:38,400 來…買… 1431 01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:40,040 這次他們學聰明了,先掐我 1432 01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:41,840 不會吧,你看 1433 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:44,320 他手沒伸進去 1434 01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:54,400 龍胖子 1435 01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:58,920 都是你吧!害得我被蛇咬 1436 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,560 不要囉唆了,幾點了? 1437 01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:02,680 幹什麼?… 1438 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:03,400 我們起碼也買點 1439 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,880 小蚊喜歡的東西給她嘛,對不對? 1440 01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:08,120 好 1441 01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:10,680 拿去吧! 1442 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:21,120 Lolanto 1443 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,800 小蚊,綠豆糕… 1444 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:34,600 她不在家 1445 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:35,680 不會吧! 1446 01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:45,840 小蚊,你幹什麼? 1447 01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,560 危險… 1448 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:51,600 你這樣會打到人的 1449 01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:56,240 對不起,Bill叔 1450 01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,520 小蚊,妳到底想幹什麼? 1451 01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:01,800 我要Lolanto 1452 01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:03,480 Lolanto有什麼好? 1453 01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:05,520 我不管… 1454 01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:07,360 沒有人陪我,我要他陪我 1455 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,920 倫先生 1456 01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:12,320 Lolanto在嗎? 1457 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:15,920 嗨!Lolanto 1458 01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:20,240 別走嘛,大家這麼久不見了 1459 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:21,720 好好聊聊嘛 1460 01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:26,680 大哥,以前都是我的錯 1461 01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,640 你大人有大量… 1462 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,760 Lolanto哥哥 1463 01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,560 我們老闆想請你賞個臉 1464 01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:36,760 到他家見個面 1465 01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:37,480 老闆? 1466 01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:38,880 就是棒叔呀 1467 01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,200 那個大富翁Mr. Bill Liao 1468 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,240 幹什麼? 1469 01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:48,000 他的女兒在你家住過幾天 1470 01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:50,360 不過我…已經把她請回去了 1471 01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,280 啊…原來是你呀? 1472 01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:53,920 是… 1473 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,040 廖小姐,非常想念你 1474 01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:58,280 所以Bill叔特地叫小弟 1475 01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,120 前來請你Lolanto哥哥 1476 01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:01,600 到他家見個面 1477 01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:03,120 你一定要賞光呀 1478 01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:06,680 不然小弟我就一點面子都沒有了 1479 01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:11,120 我們前嫌不記,後事不提 1480 01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:15,360 不提,老兄,你把我打得進醫院 1481 01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:16,560 還拆了我的店 1482 01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:19,800 還到醫院追殺我,不提 1483 01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:20,920 那你害得我連兒子也生不了 1484 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:21,960 怎麼說? 1485 01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,000 情形不同呀,衛生局不是說 1486 01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:25,760 家庭計劃,男人有責 1487 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,640 我幫政府實行計劃 1488 01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:30,880 你到底去不去? 1489 01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,400 大哥,Bill叔吩咐不准用暴力 1490 01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,640 不准用暴力,等等 1491 01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,560 你不准用暴力,輪到我用暴力了 1492 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:44,120 千萬別用這根棒子打他 1493 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,240 怕什麼?反正他不可以還手的 1494 01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:48,280 所以用這根嘛 1495 01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:52,760 到了 1496 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:55,360 Mr. Bill Liao在馬房等你 1497 01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,360 Lolanto哥哥,你先進去吧! 1498 01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:01,840 Hi, Bill叔 1499 01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:04,840 原來是你 1500 01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:05,960 當然是我 1501 01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:08,400 我知道我常令人留下深刻印象的 1502 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,080 我早說這是我媽媽的不對 1503 01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:11,120 把我生得這麼特別 1504 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,360 很容易被人嫉妒的 1505 01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,400 這隻不是金牌嗎? 1506 01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:19,240 上次賭馬慘透了,我全都輸光了 1507 01:06:19,680 --> 01:06:21,440 我不知道女兒為什麼會喜歡你 1508 01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:22,760 喜歡我? 1509 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:24,760 你看看你的長樣 1510 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,000 心胸窄,大腳板 1511 01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:29,840 石板腰,屁股還有一個白印 1512 01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,680 就像一匹低班馬 1513 01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:35,040 你別以為你有錢就少看別人呀 1514 01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:36,840 是 1515 01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,800 謝謝老闆 1516 01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,960 事實證明,有錢能使鬼推磨 1517 01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:48,600 你到底想幹嘛? 1518 01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:50,480 醫生說你沒有侵犯我的女兒 1519 01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:51,840 所以我不揍你 1520 01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:53,800 那麼現在我給你一個機會 1521 01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,600 明天開始上班,每天陪著她玩 1522 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,440 月薪三萬,星期天不放假 1523 01:06:58,520 --> 01:06:59,120 你現在可以走 1524 01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:00,600 什麼?你以為我是什麼東西 1525 01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:02,960 我是人,不是布娃娃 1526 01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:04,600 做我女兒布娃娃,有什麼不好 1527 01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,680 她雖然低能,可是有錢就行了 1528 01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:08,760 這一輩子用不著動腦筋 1529 01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:10,000 你聰明有個屁用 1530 01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,440 你辛辛苦苦的一輩子 1531 01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:15,760 Mr. Bill Liao 我現在是什麼都沒有 1532 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,680 就是有點自尊心 1533 01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:20,320 我告訴你,老子不幹 1534 01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:24,560 你會幹的,要不要我來證明呀 1535 01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:27,960 救命呀…開門呀…放我們出來 1536 01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:29,600 吵什麼呀吵? 1537 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:31,320 怎麼辦呀? 1538 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:32,920 我已經把所會的髒話都說完了 1539 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,240 還是沒人理 1540 01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:38,720 我們被關了十幾個鐘頭了 1541 01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:41,600 早該答應他啦 1542 01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:43,200 我怕他把咱們關在這兒 1543 01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:45,360 活活的餓死 1544 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,240 餓死? 1545 01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:55,640 不好意思,我又連累了你 1546 01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:58,240 我最怕肚子餓了 1547 01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:01,280 誰知道偏偏要被餓死 1548 01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:03,120 不行,要支持下去 1549 01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:04,560 會有人來救我們的 1550 01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:06,000 怎麼支持? 1551 01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:09,320 只要能吃飽肚子,蛇蟲鼠蟻照吃 1552 01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:11,120 哪兒去找這些東西? 1553 01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,240 難道他們會來找我們 1554 01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,840 當然是我們找他們 1555 01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:17,280 有蟑螂 1556 01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:18,280 蟑螂? 1557 01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:21,520 來,還站著幹什麼? 1558 01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:22,800 我找到了,不分給你吃呀 1559 01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:24,040 啊! 1560 01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,400 龍胖子,我知道 1561 01:08:41,480 --> 01:08:45,840 你們胖子是不能捱餓的,你吃吧 1562 01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,360 Lolanto,剛才錯怪你了 1563 01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:56,280 想不到你這麼有義氣 1564 01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:58,360 我永遠不會忘記你 1565 01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,400 吃飯了,豬扒羅宋湯 1566 01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,280 王八蛋,我打死你 1567 01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:21,800 你們兩位沒什麼事吧! 1568 01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,000 有沒有跌傷呀? 1569 01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:25,120 沒什麼 1570 01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:27,840 我是廖棒的女朋友 1571 01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,360 眼光不至於這麼差吧! 1572 01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:33,080 不管怎麼樣,我代他向兩位道歉 1573 01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:35,480 他到底想怎麼樣? 1574 01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:37,920 我想請你陪小蚊一個月 1575 01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,400 我說過不做別人的布娃娃 1576 01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,840 可是小蚊很可能只有一個月的生命 1577 01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:43,840 為什麼? 1578 01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:46,360 她爸爸要她動腦部手術,非常危險 1579 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:48,800 成功的機會只有一半 1580 01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,400 另一半是死亡 1581 01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,520 這麼危險還動手術 1582 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:53,880 她爸爸說寧願她死 1583 01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:56,080 也不願意她一輩子傻兮兮的 1584 01:09:56,160 --> 01:09:57,920 她根本是一個白痴 1585 01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:01,840 這次小蚊出走,我要負很大的責任 1586 01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,000 所以我現在來求你幫忙 1587 01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:05,560 Lolanto 1588 01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:09,400 求求你,小蚊真的是很喜歡你 1589 01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,000 小蚊,爸爸買了禮物送給妳 1590 01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,000 小蚊,妳打開來看看 1591 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:32,800 小飛俠來了,請問小蚊想不想我 1592 01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:34,360 Lolanto 1593 01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:38,000 Lolanto我好想好想你呀 1594 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:45,480 我跟妳說個笑話 1595 01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:46,880 好呀… 1596 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:49,560 好 1597 01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:52,440 從前有個人在歐洲坐火車 1598 01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:53,760 你知道歐洲好遠好遠 1599 01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:55,200 坐火車要坐很久嘛 1600 01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:56,000 他很有錢 1601 01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,480 然後就自己包了一節車廂 1602 01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:00,480 坐了一會兒,他忽然肚子疼 1603 01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:02,240 雖然是私人車廂,可是沒有洗手間 1604 01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,040 只好跑到外面去找洗手間 1605 01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:06,080 誰知道,他跑到外面一看 1606 01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:07,880 排了好多好多人,沒有辦法了 1607 01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,600 只好跑回自己的車廂 1608 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:12,360 他回到車廂以後,肚子越來越疼 1609 01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:14,720 疼得他實在忍不住了 1610 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:17,920 眼看馬上就要拉出來了 1611 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:20,720 他想一想,我到底怎麼辦 1612 01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:22,720 然後他就舖了一張報紙在地上 1613 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,200 然後他就蹲下來,憋不住了 1614 01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,640 啪啦…就拉出來了 1615 01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:29,720 但是他又想,不對勁了 1616 01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:31,480 因為我要忍受它好幾個小時 1617 01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:33,440 所以他就把它包起來 1618 01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:34,640 那個時候,火車正在走 1619 01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:36,640 他把窗子一拉,把東西往外一扔 1620 01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:37,800 但是被風吹了回來 1621 01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,600 劈里啪啦,就貼在車的頂上 1622 01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:41,240 他往上一看 1623 01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:43,840 乾了以後還會自己掉下來呀 1624 01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:45,360 他又想了一想 1625 01:11:45,440 --> 01:11:47,440 乾脆叮噹叮噹,就把車長叫進來 1626 01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:50,040 車長進來就問,先生,什麼事呀? 1627 01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:52,280 然後他就很不好意思的跟車長說 1628 01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:53,560 老兄,我給你五塊錢 1629 01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:54,520 麻煩你把它刮下來 1630 01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:56,120 車長一看,愣了一下 1631 01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:57,720 然後就給他十塊錢,說 1632 01:11:57,800 --> 01:11:59,120 先生,我給你十塊錢 1633 01:11:59,240 --> 01:12:01,400 請你教我怎麼樣拉上去 1634 01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:05,080 好好玩 1635 01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,840 這次慘了 1636 01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:30,240 你的岳母大人又要什麼? 1637 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:32,560 她表姐的第三兒子要結婚 1638 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,720 叫我給她們10萬塊錢蓋新房子 1639 01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:36,280 我到哪兒去找10萬塊 1640 01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:38,440 她簡直把你當成印鈔票的嘛 1641 01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,040 那怎麼辦呢? 1642 01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:42,040 不行,一定要反抗 1643 01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:43,520 什麼反抗? 1644 01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:45,080 我岳母跟人吵架是有名的 1645 01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:47,360 再說我見到貞德,腿就發軟 1646 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:49,680 別怕,明天開始放假 1647 01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:51,880 我幫你進行填鴨式的惡補 1648 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,520 惡補? 1649 01:13:06,760 --> 01:13:08,520 你他媽的 1650 01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:12,120 你…他媽…的 1651 01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:54,760 看什麼? 1652 01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:00,640 妳不講理… 1653 01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:01,560 死八婆… 1654 01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:03,200 妳去死… 1655 01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:04,880 什麼東西? 1656 01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:05,840 我還會怕妳 1657 01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:07,280 老而不 1658 01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:08,840 你是不是有毛病 1659 01:14:08,880 --> 01:14:10,840 無緣無故叫我老而不? 1660 01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:12,320 你要幹嘛? 1661 01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,360 老而不是簡稱,全名是老而不死 1662 01:14:14,440 --> 01:14:15,360 乾巴巴的老太婆 1663 01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:16,040 該死不死 1664 01:14:16,120 --> 01:14:17,920 擋著地球轉的東西,懂了沒有 1665 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:21,560 你是不是要我把你臭罵一頓? 1666 01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:23,520 Shut up,笨女人 1667 01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:24,560 說英文來嚇我 1668 01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:26,720 好好好…我拿掃把把你趕出去 1669 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:27,680 妳敢 1670 01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:29,320 好…你敢來罵我 1671 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,080 我看你是不想活了,我打死你 1672 01:14:31,200 --> 01:14:32,680 打我… 1673 01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,000 你不要走… 1674 01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:35,520 我今天來就是要臭罵妳一頓 1675 01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:36,840 妳這個老不死 1676 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,200 同時我來告訴你這裡所有分期付款 1677 01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:41,520 我不付了,那八個死會我也不付了 1678 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:42,600 你在加拿大的兒子 1679 01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:43,600 跟你表姐的兒子 1680 01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:44,760 叫他們睡大街好了 1681 01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:46,560 要結婚,沒有喜酒,沒有聘金 1682 01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:48,480 沒有西餅,渡蜜月就在附近走走 1683 01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:50,840 答應就快說,不然我馬上走 1684 01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:52,160 你是不是在發高燒? 1685 01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:54,760 不是發燒,是發威 1686 01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:56,400 你是不知道老娘的厲害 1687 01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:57,760 想來跟我比一比,是不是? 1688 01:14:57,840 --> 01:14:59,440 怎麼都行 1689 01:15:22,480 --> 01:15:23,720 我沒有力氣再跟你吵了 1690 01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:24,520 我撐不住了 1691 01:15:24,600 --> 01:15:26,640 吵輸了吧,我告訴妳 1692 01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:28,800 女兒回來就叫她打電話給我 1693 01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:30,600 明白嗎? 1694 01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:33,680 是…我一定照辦… 1695 01:15:49,080 --> 01:15:50,000 我們去看午夜場好不好? 1696 01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:50,960 好 1697 01:15:52,400 --> 01:15:53,440 阿龍 1698 01:15:54,720 --> 01:15:56,680 我差點忘了,我還約了妳 1699 01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:57,560 妳先站一會兒 1700 01:15:57,640 --> 01:15:58,960 我跟她們談完了,就過來 1701 01:15:59,040 --> 01:16:00,760 你早上為什麼要罵我媽? 1702 01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:03,840 你沒看見我還有三個女朋友嗎? 1703 01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:05,600 妳的事情等一會再說嘛 1704 01:16:05,680 --> 01:16:06,840 不要這麼掃興 1705 01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:09,720 你給我過來,過來 1706 01:16:10,960 --> 01:16:12,000 什麼事情? 1707 01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,880 你跟那三個女人什麼關係? 1708 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,440 當然是不尋常的關係 1709 01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:17,400 我說她們是我的表妹,妳能相信嗎 1710 01:16:17,480 --> 01:16:19,520 你別走,我把訂婚戒指還給你 1711 01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:21,000 哪有這麼容易 1712 01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:22,800 除非妳把那些匯錢、傢俱的錢 1713 01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:25,440 還有所有分期付款的錢全都還給我 1714 01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:26,800 不過我會給妳一個公道的利率 1715 01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:28,040 五厘,就這麼說了 1716 01:16:28,120 --> 01:16:28,800 你… 1717 01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:31,520 還有除非妳做修女或者是尼姑 1718 01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:33,360 要不然任何一個男人要妳 1719 01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:35,720 我都要收分手費的,妳要想清楚 1720 01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,120 想不到你是這種人 1721 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,240 龍胖子,我真沒想到你是這種人 1722 01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:40,040 什麼人? 1723 01:16:40,120 --> 01:16:42,360 你爸爸開口油井就很了不起嗎? 1724 01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:43,280 他爸爸開了口油井? 1725 01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:45,040 石油而已,跟醬油顏色差不多嘛 1726 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,920 還有你爸爸一天不去世 1727 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,400 不一定是你的 1728 01:16:48,480 --> 01:16:49,960 比你有希望 1729 01:16:50,040 --> 01:16:52,720 阿龍,你爸爸現在很有錢呀? 1730 01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:54,480 小意思,才幾億而已 1731 01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:55,920 妳走吧,妳太沒骨氣了 1732 01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:57,680 要是我早就打他兩耳光 1733 01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,280 什麼?打我 1734 01:16:59,360 --> 01:17:01,360 阿龍,我沒有這個意思 1735 01:17:01,440 --> 01:17:02,960 妳為什麼這麼沒出息? 1736 01:17:03,040 --> 01:17:04,240 才兩、三億嘛 1737 01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:05,240 大不了是坐Royce Rolles 1738 01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:06,840 戴鑽石戒指,坐私人飛機 1739 01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:08,120 妳就這麼遷就他 1740 01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:09,680 關你個屁事,你別囉唆 1741 01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:11,680 阿龍我有話跟你說 1742 01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:15,000 還有什麼話好說,只給妳一分鐘 1743 01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,120 你走吧! 1744 01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:18,160 阿龍,我不是要離開你的 1745 01:17:18,280 --> 01:17:19,840 我只是想試試你 1746 01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:22,120 今天早上我把妳媽罵得好厲害 1747 01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:24,480 她這麼潑辣,很多人都想罵她 1748 01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:25,760 我們結婚以後,搬出來住 1749 01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:27,480 就見不到她了 1750 01:17:27,600 --> 01:17:29,960 結了婚跟妳住? 1751 01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:31,880 別開玩笑了,還沒住在一起 1752 01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:33,840 每天就要打七個電話向妳報到 1753 01:17:33,880 --> 01:17:36,080 住在一起,那不更慘,算了 1754 01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:38,840 不會的,我會給你絕對的自由 1755 01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:39,880 我可告訴妳 1756 01:17:39,960 --> 01:17:43,120 我只能跟妳同居,我不結婚的 1757 01:17:43,720 --> 01:17:44,880 那怎麼可以? 1758 01:17:44,960 --> 01:17:46,760 不可以,那就算了 1759 01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:48,360 怎麼樣? 1760 01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:49,920 我答應你 1761 01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,120 還有呀,我不負擔妳們家裡的開支 1762 01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:53,920 讓他們自己想辦法 1763 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,000 妳只養我一個人就行了 1764 01:17:56,320 --> 01:17:58,640 我不一定每天晚上回來睡覺的 1765 01:17:58,720 --> 01:18:01,640 那…只要你想著我就行了 1766 01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:03,200 好了…算了,妳先回去吧 1767 01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:06,360 回去收拾好東西,到我家裡來等我 1768 01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:08,040 我還要應酬的嘛 1769 01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:08,640 走吧… 1770 01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:09,360 早點回來 1771 01:18:09,440 --> 01:18:12,840 是呀…真囉唆 1772 01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:16,680 戲演完了,趕快給錢,給錢… 1773 01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:18,480 演得太好了,個個有獎 1774 01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:19,800 成功了 1775 01:18:20,480 --> 01:18:21,680 我是成功了 1776 01:18:21,760 --> 01:18:23,240 我怕你跟小蚊會有問題 1777 01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:25,520 你都成功了,我還能有問題 1778 01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:43,480 怎麼這麼久? 1779 01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,960 開腦的最少要五、六個小時 1780 01:18:47,040 --> 01:18:48,640 小蚊她怎麼樣? 1781 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:50,440 你問俺,俺問誰? 1782 01:18:53,560 --> 01:18:54,840 醫生,他怎麼樣了? 1783 01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:56,280 她的手術還在進行中 1784 01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:57,920 我看還要四、五個小時 1785 01:18:58,000 --> 01:18:59,680 所以我特地出來告訴你們 1786 01:18:59,760 --> 01:19:00,680 醫生,她的情況 1787 01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:03,000 是不是穩定、進展良好、面色紅潤 1788 01:19:03,080 --> 01:19:05,320 脈搏正常、手腳正常、心臟正常 1789 01:19:05,400 --> 01:19:06,520 長命百歲、百子千孫 1790 01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,640 你在說些什麼呀? 1791 01:19:08,720 --> 01:19:11,000 很簡單,他問她死沒死? 1792 01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:12,520 你去死吧! 1793 01:19:12,840 --> 01:19:14,600 我想應該沒事 1794 01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:15,760 我要進去看看 1795 01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:17,480 不要啦,裡面一地都是血 1796 01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,120 她的頭被鋸開了,很恐怖的 1797 01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:20,040 很多人都受不了 1798 01:19:20,120 --> 01:19:21,200 平常人當然受不了 1799 01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,440 可是我Lolanto從來不知道 1800 01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:23,400 怕字怎麼寫 1801 01:19:23,480 --> 01:19:24,720 你小時候諗書不專心 1802 01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:26,600 當然不知道怎麼寫 1803 01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:38,320 他怎麼了? 1804 01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:39,640 他現在就算不讀書 1805 01:19:39,720 --> 01:19:41,680 也知道怕字怎麼寫了 1806 01:19:47,080 --> 01:19:48,040 小蚊 1807 01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:50,360 小蚊呢? 1808 01:19:50,440 --> 01:19:51,880 她危險期已經過了 1809 01:19:51,960 --> 01:19:53,600 不過不准探病 1810 01:19:53,680 --> 01:19:55,000 不行,我要去看她 1811 01:19:55,080 --> 01:19:56,400 你別去了 1812 01:19:56,480 --> 01:19:57,520 小蚊 1813 01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:01,600 你不必找了,我已經替她轉院了 1814 01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:02,120 哪一家? 1815 01:20:02,240 --> 01:20:04,320 我不會告訴你是哪一家的 1816 01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:05,560 她需要休息 1817 01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:07,240 讓我看看她嘛 1818 01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:10,240 等她完全復原之後 1819 01:20:10,320 --> 01:20:12,120 我歡迎你來看她 1820 01:20:12,240 --> 01:20:14,400 你的任務已經完成了 1821 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:17,640 你的 1822 01:20:18,960 --> 01:20:20,280 錢 1823 01:20:20,720 --> 01:20:21,960 又是錢 1824 01:20:22,040 --> 01:20:25,560 我最恨的就是錢了,我花光它 1825 01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:37,120 她現在的情形怎麼樣? 1826 01:20:37,240 --> 01:20:38,760 簡直是奇蹟 1827 01:20:38,840 --> 01:20:40,400 她本來的智商相當於 1828 01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:42,600 一個8歲的小女孩 1829 01:20:42,680 --> 01:20:46,360 一般人的智商是100到120左右 1830 01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:49,040 我估計她現在起碼有150 1831 01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:52,800 喂,Bill叔 1832 01:20:53,560 --> 01:20:54,800 明天出院 1833 01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,320 叫我到家裡去看她 1834 01:20:56,400 --> 01:20:57,440 好,我一定到 1835 01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:58,600 好,再見 1836 01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:02,480 小蚊,我今天特別準備了 1837 01:21:02,560 --> 01:21:05,240 一份禮物給妳,妳一定會喜歡 1838 01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:06,040 是什麼?爸爸 1839 01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:07,040 待會妳就知道 1840 01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:08,960 小飛俠來了 1841 01:21:09,640 --> 01:21:10,160 幹什麼? 1842 01:21:10,280 --> 01:21:11,400 他是誰呀? 1843 01:21:11,840 --> 01:21:14,160 小蚊,是我呀 1844 01:21:14,280 --> 01:21:17,040 小蚊,他是Lolanto,妳不認識他 1845 01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,760 妳是不是忘記了? 1846 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:25,560 記得了,好像見過面 1847 01:21:26,280 --> 01:21:27,960 妳比以前會說笑話了 1848 01:21:28,280 --> 01:21:29,680 對不起,我頭有點痛 1849 01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:31,560 我上樓休息一下 1850 01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:36,080 剛剛復原都是這樣 1851 01:21:36,160 --> 01:21:38,760 待會吃飯的時候,你盡量讓她開心 1852 01:21:38,840 --> 01:21:40,280 這我最內行了 1853 01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:49,720 小蚊,明天我給妳開個舞會 1854 01:21:49,800 --> 01:21:51,960 慶祝妳恢復健康 1855 01:21:52,800 --> 01:21:54,280 謝謝爸爸 1856 01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:03,000 喂,你不是有個笑話很好笑的嗎? 1857 01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:04,280 再說一次 1858 01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:05,480 好… 1859 01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:08,880 有個人在歐洲坐火車 1860 01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:10,760 一坐就是七、八個鐘頭 1861 01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:11,720 這個人很有錢 1862 01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:13,280 包了一個私人車廂來坐 1863 01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:15,840 車開了不久,他忽然間肚子疼 1864 01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:16,720 怎麼辦好呢? 1865 01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:18,120 私人車廂又沒有洗手間 1866 01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:19,840 所以只好跑到外面去找廁所 1867 01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:22,080 誰知道,外面的廁所排了好多人 1868 01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:23,720 沒有辦法了,他認倒霉了 1869 01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:26,280 所以只好跑回自己的車廂去 1870 01:22:26,360 --> 01:22:28,640 誰知道他剛一進去就忍不住了 1871 01:22:28,720 --> 01:22:30,600 趕快就舖平了一張報紙 1872 01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:33,840 然後蹲下去,劈里啪啦就拉了 1873 01:22:41,880 --> 01:22:42,560 下次吃飯的時候 1874 01:22:42,640 --> 01:22:44,400 請你不要說這種笑話 1875 01:23:11,280 --> 01:23:12,160 Hello,Bill叔 1876 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,280 我們遲到了,不好意思 1877 01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:14,680 小蚊一定等急了吧! 1878 01:23:14,760 --> 01:23:17,560 沒有關係,Philip陳在陪著她 1879 01:23:17,640 --> 01:23:19,000 風流陳 1880 01:23:22,840 --> 01:23:24,280 上次輸得還不夠嗎? 1881 01:23:24,360 --> 01:23:25,840 上次是你走運 1882 01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:28,680 我以為你們兩個連身份證都輸掉了 1883 01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,960 你不要那麼囂張呀,風流陳 1884 01:23:31,840 --> 01:23:33,120 你們在吵什麼? 1885 01:23:33,240 --> 01:23:36,120 沒什麼,我們有點私人恩怨 1886 01:23:36,240 --> 01:23:38,920 如果你們不怕輸,可以再來 1887 01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:39,920 怕你呀 1888 01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:41,440 是我怕你們 1889 01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:43,600 我怕你們輸了沒錢付 1890 01:23:43,680 --> 01:23:44,720 這次我們不賭錢 1891 01:23:44,800 --> 01:23:46,440 如果你輸了,就得在街上裸奔 1892 01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:47,680 對了,如果我們輸了 1893 01:23:47,760 --> 01:23:48,720 他在街上裸跑 1894 01:23:48,800 --> 01:23:49,360 對呀 1895 01:23:49,440 --> 01:23:50,600 什麼? 1896 01:23:51,320 --> 01:23:53,200 你們想玩什麼? 1897 01:23:53,560 --> 01:23:54,920 打麻將 1898 01:24:00,640 --> 01:24:01,880 一定要贏 1899 01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:03,720 輸了別回來見我 1900 01:24:06,520 --> 01:24:07,840 今天是你跟他比 1901 01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:09,840 麻將要四個人打 1902 01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:11,280 我請了有名的麻將王 1903 01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:12,920 跟我們一起打 1904 01:24:14,120 --> 01:24:16,840 八圈定勝負,誰的籌碼多算是贏 1905 01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:18,600 為了不浪費時間 1906 01:24:18,680 --> 01:24:21,240 摸完為止,是打和下莊 1907 01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:30,080 有機會胡地胡 1908 01:24:39,840 --> 01:24:41,000 先開個暗槓 1909 01:24:46,120 --> 01:24:48,000 四萬 碰 1910 01:24:50,240 --> 01:24:51,280 七萬 1911 01:24:52,480 --> 01:24:54,320 六萬 碰 1912 01:25:06,960 --> 01:25:08,400 九萬 碰 1913 01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:09,960 三碰落地 1914 01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:11,480 八筒 1915 01:25:13,960 --> 01:25:14,880 不用怕,東 1916 01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:16,240 碰 1917 01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:18,360 再開槓 1918 01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:25,640 這牌快成十八羅漢了 1919 01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:29,400 不好意思 1920 01:25:29,480 --> 01:25:30,520 不要緊的 1921 01:25:30,640 --> 01:25:31,560 紅中 1922 01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:32,720 碰 1923 01:25:33,080 --> 01:25:34,080 碰? 1924 01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:40,400 胡了 1925 01:25:40,480 --> 01:25:41,560 又給你猜中了 1926 01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:43,560 自摸 1927 01:25:44,440 --> 01:25:45,880 輸慘了 1928 01:25:49,640 --> 01:25:50,520 三辣 1929 01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:52,920 滿貫 1930 01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:54,600 三番 1931 01:25:57,480 --> 01:25:59,360 四圈打完,再打莊 1932 01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,160 東,不動 1933 01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:05,120 四圈沒開胡,下四圈努力點 1934 01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:06,880 不要辜負我的期望 1935 01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:11,400 白板 1936 01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:13,560 我們不是打三人麻將吧? 1937 01:26:13,640 --> 01:26:15,600 怎麼有人西風不開胡? 1938 01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:17,680 七圈不開胡是常有的事 1939 01:26:17,760 --> 01:26:20,160 不過不要緊,我知道你聽紅中 1940 01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:23,360 我就讓你胡一次三番 1941 01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:26,560 誰說,我一定要自摸 1942 01:26:32,720 --> 01:26:34,280 看著我自摸 1943 01:26:36,640 --> 01:26:37,840 暫時不胡 1944 01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:42,000 我再給你一次機會,紅中 1945 01:26:42,080 --> 01:26:44,840 我看你不開胡,我於心不忍 1946 01:26:44,880 --> 01:26:46,520 我… 1947 01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:47,840 我能忍 1948 01:26:48,640 --> 01:26:49,800 又不是 1949 01:26:51,680 --> 01:26:53,880 看什麼?我不希望你打 1950 01:26:59,320 --> 01:27:00,240 二筒 1951 01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:02,280 怎麼會有三個紅中? 1952 01:27:02,360 --> 01:27:03,480 我現在要了 1953 01:27:03,560 --> 01:27:05,920 現在不能要了,過去了 1954 01:27:10,280 --> 01:27:11,080 那就紅中好了 1955 01:27:11,200 --> 01:27:12,280 碰 1956 01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:16,480 來得真好,十三么胡紅中 1957 01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:20,160 我出去一會兒 1958 01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:20,840 哪兒去? 1959 01:27:20,920 --> 01:27:22,320 替你找個紙袋,把臉遮著 1960 01:27:22,400 --> 01:27:23,840 裸奔太丟人 1961 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:25,720 連你也小看我 1962 01:27:25,800 --> 01:27:27,840 不行,我要小便 1963 01:27:31,680 --> 01:27:32,360 那麼快 1964 01:27:32,440 --> 01:27:35,520 是呀,我小便是假的,我要移檯 1965 01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:37,640 換椅子 1966 01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:38,760 敲燈罩 1967 01:27:39,080 --> 01:27:40,080 再跑一大圈 1968 01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:41,240 洗牌 1969 01:27:48,080 --> 01:27:49,280 慢一點,釘死下家 1970 01:27:49,360 --> 01:27:50,600 碰死對家,頂死上家 1971 01:27:50,680 --> 01:27:52,680 打兩顆骰子,減一點 1972 01:27:54,480 --> 01:27:55,720 那就是五點 1973 01:27:57,240 --> 01:27:59,040 不要這麼迷信 1974 01:27:59,120 --> 01:28:01,040 你耍什麼花招都沒用 1975 01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:05,280 打牌要講章法,不是光靠運氣 1976 01:28:07,320 --> 01:28:08,640 這一把你要是胡了 1977 01:28:08,720 --> 01:28:11,360 我私人賞你一千塊 1978 01:28:11,440 --> 01:28:12,760 我知道你高章 1979 01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:14,320 也知道自己很迷信 1980 01:28:14,400 --> 01:28:15,240 北 1981 01:28:15,320 --> 01:28:16,320 不過我還知道 1982 01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:19,240 我迷信之後,會胡地胡的 1983 01:28:19,520 --> 01:28:20,880 北是吧!地胡 1984 01:28:20,960 --> 01:28:22,920 高章的人,拿一千塊來 1985 01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,120 自摸清一色,八番 1986 01:28:28,840 --> 01:28:30,640 自摸十三么,又三辣 1987 01:28:31,520 --> 01:28:33,840 自摸大三元,你們可別讓了 1988 01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:36,040 這樣連莊下去會到天亮的 1989 01:28:39,680 --> 01:28:42,600 你真行,可惜夕陽無限好 1990 01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:44,400 已經北風底了 1991 01:28:44,480 --> 01:28:45,360 北風底又怎麼樣? 1992 01:28:45,440 --> 01:28:47,120 沉住氣,這副牌如果你自摸三辣 1993 01:28:47,240 --> 01:28:48,560 就剛好贏他 1994 01:28:48,840 --> 01:28:50,480 自摸三辣那麼容易 1995 01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:52,120 這副牌是你雕刻的 1996 01:28:56,880 --> 01:28:59,040 這副牌能胡,我該打燒火的了 1997 01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:01,720 不怕,反正這麼爛,我翻開打 1998 01:29:01,800 --> 01:29:02,840 翻牌算詐胡 1999 01:29:02,880 --> 01:29:04,360 剩下一章,不算詐胡吧! 2000 01:29:04,440 --> 01:29:05,600 對了 2001 01:29:06,120 --> 01:29:07,480 三筒 碰 2002 01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:13,640 碰 2003 01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:16,120 這副牌是爛了一點 2004 01:29:16,240 --> 01:29:18,560 不過手氣順,摸一章上一章 2005 01:29:22,800 --> 01:29:23,760 碰 2006 01:29:29,960 --> 01:29:31,680 還有機會 2007 01:29:42,040 --> 01:29:43,480 嘩…是生章 2008 01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:45,840 打呀 2009 01:29:46,160 --> 01:29:47,440 牌就快摸和了 2010 01:29:48,080 --> 01:29:50,240 和了也要下莊呀 2011 01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:52,000 就是玩完了 2012 01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:55,720 糟了,最後摸一章生章一筒 2013 01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:58,080 打出去一定輸 2014 01:29:58,160 --> 01:29:59,400 就是單聽一筒 2015 01:29:59,480 --> 01:30:01,440 就是自摸也只有一番 2016 01:30:01,520 --> 01:30:04,520 也是輸定了,怎麼辦? 2017 01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:05,520 打牌呀 2018 01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:08,520 七萬 2019 01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:09,840 你乾脆跟他拼了算了 2020 01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:12,840 一命換一命,你反正是輸定了 2021 01:30:12,880 --> 01:30:14,520 閉上嘴 2022 01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:17,560 你倒有自知之明 2023 01:30:23,080 --> 01:30:25,800 自摸也沒用,也只有一番 2024 01:30:27,840 --> 01:30:29,000 開槓 2025 01:30:29,360 --> 01:30:30,360 多一番 2026 01:30:32,080 --> 01:30:33,400 再槓 2027 01:30:33,680 --> 01:30:34,880 槓上槓,連這章摸進去 2028 01:30:34,960 --> 01:30:37,760 就是海底撈月,能胡就足了 2029 01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:39,320 哪有那麼巧? 2030 01:30:53,520 --> 01:30:56,640 龍胖子,把紙袋拿給我 2031 01:30:56,920 --> 01:30:59,000 老兄,你慢慢遮吧! 2032 01:30:59,080 --> 01:31:00,920 我先出去挑個好位置看裸奔 2033 01:31:01,000 --> 01:31:03,680 不對,這個紙袋是拿給你的 2034 01:31:03,760 --> 01:31:06,440 我槓上槓,海底撈月,三辣 2035 01:31:09,760 --> 01:31:11,640 老兄,你慢慢遮吧! 2036 01:31:11,720 --> 01:31:14,160 我們出去挑個特級位看他奔 2037 01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:15,400 再見 2038 01:31:24,680 --> 01:31:26,680 小蚊,我贏了 2039 01:31:26,760 --> 01:31:29,480 那個風流陳正在大街上裸奔 2040 01:31:30,640 --> 01:31:32,520 他也有今天了 2041 01:31:33,480 --> 01:31:36,040 好險,我反敗為勝 2042 01:31:36,120 --> 01:31:37,400 我這輩子也沒有打過 2043 01:31:37,480 --> 01:31:39,200 一副這樣好的牌 2044 01:31:41,600 --> 01:31:43,440 你知不知道你這樣做很無聊 2045 01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:48,040 你把我看成什麼? 2046 01:31:48,120 --> 01:31:51,320 獎品,贏的人就可以得到我嗎? 2047 01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:52,560 我沒有這樣想過呀 2048 01:31:52,640 --> 01:31:54,840 我想不通我以前怎麼能跟你相處 2049 01:31:54,880 --> 01:31:57,800 你為人粗魯,庸俗,沒有格調 2050 01:31:58,080 --> 01:31:59,840 這兩天我已經忍夠了 2051 01:31:59,920 --> 01:32:00,960 小蚊 2052 01:32:01,040 --> 01:32:02,880 我以前欠你一份人情 2053 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:05,080 我一定會補償你的 2054 01:32:05,440 --> 01:32:07,600 30萬你滿意了吧! 2055 01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:13,600 還不夠嗎? 2056 01:32:13,680 --> 01:32:15,920 小蚊,我知道我粗俗 2057 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,480 不過我可以改的呀 2058 01:32:17,560 --> 01:32:19,080 我盡量遷就妳好了 2059 01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,280 不可能的 2060 01:32:20,360 --> 01:32:22,560 我們兩個是截然不同的人 2061 01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:30,080 你很快會找到第二個女朋友 2062 01:32:30,160 --> 01:32:31,520 外面有很多女孩子 2063 01:32:31,600 --> 01:32:32,720 你出去玩玩去吧! 2064 01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:35,400 小蚊,我想要回一樣東西? 2065 01:32:35,480 --> 01:32:36,840 什麼? 2066 01:32:36,880 --> 01:32:38,400 妳畫的那張畫 2067 01:32:38,480 --> 01:32:39,680 畫? 2068 01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:41,800 我早丟掉了 2069 01:32:41,840 --> 01:32:43,920 你到垃圾桶裡去找找看吧! 2070 01:32:46,160 --> 01:32:49,360 還有,下次如果你見到我的話 2071 01:32:49,440 --> 01:32:51,480 請你叫我廖淑雯小姐 2072 01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:54,320 要不然我是不會理你的 2073 01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:58,560 再見,小蚊 2074 01:33:03,600 --> 01:33:09,520 讓夢幻從我心中飄走 2075 01:33:09,600 --> 01:33:14,720 帶我走出妳愛情的佔有 2076 01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:20,880 曾有開心總有盡頭 2077 01:33:20,960 --> 01:33:26,800 誰能停留時光再從頭 2078 01:33:26,840 --> 01:33:32,440 不要再問我為何 2079 01:33:32,520 --> 01:33:38,240 心中已沒法承受 2080 01:33:38,320 --> 01:33:44,080 縱有美麗的經過 2081 01:33:44,160 --> 01:33:49,640 都成昨日的傳說 2082 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:55,600 雲兒也在天空逗留 2083 01:33:55,680 --> 01:34:01,000 人已不在我心中再擁有 2084 01:34:01,080 --> 01:34:07,120 夢幻沒定隨人沉落 2085 01:34:07,240 --> 01:34:13,000 早已化作那淡淡的情愁 2086 01:34:13,080 --> 01:34:18,760 不要再問我為何 2087 01:34:18,840 --> 01:34:24,520 心中已不再執著 2088 01:34:24,600 --> 01:34:30,320 所有美麗的經過 2089 01:34:30,400 --> 01:34:37,400 都成昨日的傳說 2090 01:34:57,440 --> 01:34:58,280 Lolanto! 2091 01:34:58,360 --> 01:34:58,800 什麼事? 2092 01:34:58,840 --> 01:34:59,880 這次你要救救我 2093 01:34:59,960 --> 01:35:00,840 我老婆殺到 2094 01:35:00,880 --> 01:35:03,040 我的女朋友假裝是你的 2095 01:35:03,440 --> 01:35:05,080 來… 2096 01:35:05,720 --> 01:35:07,560 坐…謝謝你,拜託拜託 2097 01:35:07,880 --> 01:35:09,800 混蛋,往那兒跑? 2098 01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:15,720 你叫什麼名字? 2099 01:35:15,800 --> 01:35:17,040 我叫羅蘭度 2100 01:35:17,120 --> 01:35:21,520 誰能停留時光再從頭 2101 01:35:22,040 --> 01:35:27,640 不要再問我為何 2102 01:35:27,720 --> 01:35:33,360 心中已沒法承受 2103 01:35:33,440 --> 01:35:39,200 縱有美麗的經過 2104 01:35:39,280 --> 01:35:44,720 都成昨日的傳說 2105 01:35:44,800 --> 01:35:50,800 雲兒也在天空逗留 2106 01:35:50,840 --> 01:35:56,320 人已不在我心中再擁有 2107 01:35:56,400 --> 01:36:02,280 夢幻沒定隨人沉落 2108 01:36:02,360 --> 01:36:12,160 誰能停留時光再從頭 128238

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