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1
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:11,979
A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS
WITH BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD
2
00:00:14,983 --> 00:00:17,653
I think it's, like, Christmas.
3
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,199
Really?
That's pretty cool.
4
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,888
It's cool 'cause you get
to sit around and watch TV.
5
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,244
That's what we did last year.
6
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,360
And the year before that too.
7
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,010
TV rules.
8
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,924
It's like, when something's
cool, why change?
9
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,589
Who could that be?
10
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,887
Whoa, it's Geraldo!
11
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:44,150
- Don't let Primus in.
- Yeah, yeah, they'll trash the place.
12
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,786
They'll break stuff.
13
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,668
"My name is Mud."
14
00:01:52,647 --> 00:01:56,250
My name is Mud!
Mud, Mud!
15
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,845
And then he'd spit.
16
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,437
Check it out, Butt-Head.
17
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:11,246
Testie the snowman,
had a carrot up his butt!
18
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,926
Right on, Beavis.
19
00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:16,370
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah.
20
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,318
Snow is cool.
21
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,280
I like to take snow
22
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,499
and like, roll it up into a ball
and shove it down your throat.
23
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,762
Shut up, butthole!
24
00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:39,989
Weren't these guys in Batman?
25
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,967
This isn't very cool.
26
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,081
Yeah but check this out,
this part is cool.
27
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,035
Sounds pretty cool.
28
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,057
That was cool.
29
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,288
Who's this fartknocker?
30
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,076
What's wrong with him?
31
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,849
He should like,
go to the doctor, and say:
32
00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:38,063
"Doctor, I suck!
You've gotta help me!"
33
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,319
That would be cool.
34
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,247
It's that dude...
35
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,873
It's that Boy chick.
36
00:03:56,437 --> 00:04:00,374
- What a dork!
- Yeah, yeah... really.
37
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,732
Oh, I know what this is.
38
00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,827
This is one of those things where a
bunch of rich people get together
39
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:15,480
and ask for money.
40
00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:16,835
It's one of those things.
41
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,116
I don't think this is a video.
42
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,378
Really?
What is it?
43
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,892
I don't know.
44
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,637
This is too cool to
be a video.
45
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:42,922
I think it's one of those, uh, stool logs.
46
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,837
Stools are cool.
47
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:55,159
On, Dasher! On, Comet! On, Cupid!
48
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,638
Check it out.
49
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:18,333
- Wood.
- Yeah, yeah. Wood.
50
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,903
Log.
51
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,767
- Penis.
- What?
52
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:38,325
Penis. I was just, you
know, making conversation.
53
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,016
Oh yeah.
54
00:05:43,244 --> 00:05:44,553
Butt.
55
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,512
Wiener.
56
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,056
That was cool.
57
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:12,825
- Look at that guy.
- Yeah. Really.
58
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,570
- Is he wearing a mask?
- Yeah, his mask sucks.
59
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,214
What's this?
60
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:30,222
- This sucks!
- Come on Butt-Head, keep changing it.
61
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,376
What the hell is this garbage?
62
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,554
This sucks.
63
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:50,282
How come Christmas music
always sucks?
64
00:06:51,182 --> 00:06:53,313
Because it's, like, not very good.
65
00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:57,515
- Hey Beavis.
- What?
66
00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,594
What is Christmas?
67
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,362
It's the celebration of the
birth of our lord Jesus Christ.
68
00:07:03,878 --> 00:07:08,001
What? Hey Beavis,
what did you just say?
69
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:12,331
- What? I didn't say anything.
- Yeah you did!
70
00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:16,926
I asked you what Christmas was and you,
like, said a bunch of stuff really fast.
71
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:19,572
What are you talking about, Butt-Head?
I didn't say anything.
72
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,647
How come that they always play this
music that sucks around Christmas?
73
00:07:34,355 --> 00:07:37,254
'cause, buttmunch, it's Christmas music.
74
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:40,394
So? Why do they have to
play it around Christmas?
75
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,630
Yeah, really.
76
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,304
It's like, you'd think they want to play
something cool at Christmas.
77
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,646
Yeah, yeah. Really.
78
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,543
But like, some of the Christmas
songs have pretty cool names...
79
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:59,699
like, that thing about
the "buttcracker".
80
00:08:00,281 --> 00:08:01,495
And Jingle Balls.
81
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:04,922
Deck the Balls.
82
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:29,737
What's this?
This is pretty cool.
83
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:38,182
- Who are these guys?
- They look kinda like turds!
84
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,307
Turds are cool.
85
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,167
If turds could talk,
what would they say?
86
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:02,943
They'd say: I don't like being a turd!
Being a turd sucks!
87
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,292
It's like, you gotta, like, try to
swim in the toilet,
88
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:06,711
and then you like, get flushed down,
89
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,449
and then you go through the pipes,
and then you go out to the ocean!
90
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,751
- And then there's like, sharks and stuff!
- Shut up Beavis!
91
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,587
Turds don't drown.
They float!
92
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,901
Those giraffes
are pretty cool.
93
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,259
I like the turds
better though.
94
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,567
Would you feel bad about
flushing a talking turd?
95
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:41,548
No way! I'd say:
"Drown, you fecal matter!"
96
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:58,894
- This song is pretty cool.
- Yeah, yeah, it sounds like Ozzy.
97
00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,057
That was cool.
98
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:52,098
Yes, yes, "Christmas in Hollis"!
99
00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:55,150
This is cool.
100
00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:08,680
These guys are cool.
101
00:11:10,845 --> 00:11:13,092
Hey Butt-Head,
where is Hollis?
102
00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:19,183
It's like, one of those places,
like Seattle, where stuff is cool.
103
00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:23,979
- Really?
- Yeah.
104
00:11:38,221 --> 00:11:42,121
- What's wrong with that elf?
- He be illin'.
105
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:47,000
Check it out, Butt-Head:
106
00:11:47,245 --> 00:11:49,490
It's Christmas time
in Hollis, Queens.
107
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,845
Mom's cooking chicken
and collard greens.
108
00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:57,069
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and
cheese and tacos and nachos...
109
00:11:57,070 --> 00:12:00,889
Shut up Beavis, those
aren't the words.
110
00:12:01,493 --> 00:12:05,107
Sorry about that, I was like,
hungry or something.
111
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:13,871
Hey Butt-Head, how come rappers don't
wear these big gold chains anymore?
112
00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:19,263
You dumbass. That's 'cause these
guys are like, kicking it old school.
113
00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:25,781
- Kicking it, kick him, kick, kick! Kick!
- Cut it out Beavis. What are you doing?
114
00:12:26,493 --> 00:12:28,248
Oh yeah,
sorry man.
115
00:12:36,517 --> 00:12:38,897
Christmas would be cool,
if it was like this.
116
00:12:39,136 --> 00:12:41,045
Yeah, yeah,
This is cool.
117
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:46,341
- What's wrong with that guy?
- He's like, a munchkin.
118
00:12:48,465 --> 00:12:50,531
An assmunchkin.
119
00:12:54,221 --> 00:12:55,774
An assmunchkin!
120
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,525
I just, like, thought up a Christmas joke.
121
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,838
Check this out.
122
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,843
How come
Rudolph's nose is red?
123
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:21,382
- Why?
- 'cause it's bloody.
124
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,501
That was pretty funny.
125
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,765
I got one too.
Check it out.
126
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,318
How come
Santa's outfit is red?
127
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,803
Why?
128
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,015
'cause it's bloody.
129
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:45,926
- That is not funny, Beavis.
- Yeah it is!
130
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,859
See, it's like, it's-it's
bloody because, like,
131
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,930
Rudolph got
his nose on it
132
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,979
and Rudolph's nose is
red 'cause it was bloody.
133
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:57,131
- That's funny.
- Oh yeah.
134
00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:05,508
Coming up next... Beavis and Butt-Head
sharing a Christmas burrito!
135
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,705
Tell another one of those
Christmas jokes.
136
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,290
Here is one...
137
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,829
Santa Claus
has this big sack.
138
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,613
Look at this.
139
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:58,074
- Cool! He's singing on the toilet!
- Yeah. That's pretty cool.
140
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,995
Whoa, check out that skull!
141
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:17,406
That skull is cool. Is that, like,
the skull of Santa?
142
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,225
- Does that mean he's dead?
- Yeah, yeah.
143
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,394
I wonder what they did
with his other bones.
144
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,249
Really.
145
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:37,212
- Hey, this video sucks!
- Yeah, it's sickening.
146
00:15:43,577 --> 00:15:46,375
I think this is, like, a movie.
147
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,757
It sucks.
148
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:54,613
- I think it's pretty cool.
- Yeah, it is a pretty cool movie.
149
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,076
It's better than
most Christmas movies.
150
00:15:58,982 --> 00:16:01,230
Like that one, how was it called...
151
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,217
"The wonderful life".
152
00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:07,537
Oh yeah. That's that movie
where everything sucks.
153
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,772
Or how about that...
"The grunge that stole Christmas"?
154
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:15,861
That's pretty cool.
155
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,244
Yeah, except that at the
end he becomes a wuss.
156
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,933
Oh yeah, yeah,
That sucks.
157
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:25,885
You know that Christmas movie where
that dude, finds that, like, gold ticket
158
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:30,023
inside that piece of chocolate, and
then he like, goes to this big factory
159
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,148
where everything is really
cool, and there's
160
00:16:32,149 --> 00:16:34,231
little elves and they,
like, go on go on:
161
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,250
That was cool.
162
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,155
That ruled.
163
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,354
Then remember there was that
chick with her little dog, Scroto?
164
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:52,616
And then they like, go and they crush
that wicked bitch with their house.
165
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,316
And they got those
flying monkeys...
166
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:02,787
Then, like, that Willy Wanker dude,
asks to get back to his home planet...
167
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:06,975
Then Augustus Gloop dies
in that big bowl of chocolate.
168
00:17:09,353 --> 00:17:11,015
Chocolate is cool.
169
00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:29,351
This guy seems pretty cool.
170
00:17:46,785 --> 00:17:48,606
Look at his nose.
171
00:17:50,509 --> 00:17:54,137
I bet this guy could pick his nose
with his big toe.
172
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,652
Yeah, yeah. That's cool.
I do that sometimes.
173
00:17:59,057 --> 00:18:02,904
Oh yeah?
That's pretty cool.
174
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,228
- Hey Beavis.
- What?
175
00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:20,379
If you eat your own boogers, does that
make you, like, one of those cannibists?
176
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:26,556
Yeah, it makes you one of those,
one of those... cannilbulsists.
177
00:18:28,253 --> 00:18:30,693
How come boogers
don't, like, stink?
178
00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:37,359
I mean, it's like, they look ugly,
so it's like, you think they would stink.
179
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,690
Actually, I think
they look pretty cool.
180
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,285
Is this Sting?
181
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,801
No way, Beavis.
Sting sucks!
182
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,019
This guy's cool!
183
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:23,061
- This dude stutters!
- Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
184
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:32,707
Santa Claus looks like
one of those biker dudes!
185
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,237
Yeah, except he's got that
sled and that dorky outfit.
186
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,218
How does Santa Claus
get those reindeer to fly?
187
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,113
Because he beats the crap
out of them with a whip!
188
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,950
Maybe he's pretty cool.
189
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,254
This guy is pretty cool.
190
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,133
This guy is pretty cool.
191
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,978
That was co-co-co-co-co-cool!
192
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,866
How come Santa Claus
has that stupid laugh?
193
00:21:02,232 --> 00:21:04,552
Where he goes: ho-ho-ho!
194
00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:06,883
Yeah, yeah.
That's stupid.
195
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:11,792
That's really stupid.
196
00:21:11,891 --> 00:21:17,881
People don't go: ho-ho-ho.
I go: huh-huh-huh.
197
00:21:17,881 --> 00:21:21,881
They don't go: ho-ho-ho.
They go: heh-heh-heh-heh.
198
00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:33,562
Fight! Who is he talking
about fighting, Butt-Head?
199
00:21:35,856 --> 00:21:38,919
- That chick.
- Really? Whoa.
200
00:21:49,456 --> 00:21:52,988
Hey Butt-Head, how come
they're gonna fight? Fight, fight!
201
00:21:55,156 --> 00:21:58,055
Because it's like, he wants
her to give him something
202
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:01,012
'cause it's Christmas and everything.
203
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:06,464
- You mean like, video games or something?
- No, Beavis!
204
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:23,518
Yes!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
205
00:22:25,556 --> 00:22:26,965
This is cool.
206
00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:39,152
- They're like, choking each other.
- Yeah, yeah, this is cool!
207
00:22:40,656 --> 00:22:45,586
Yes, hit him! Hit him! Hey, did you see
that Butt-Head? Did you see that?
208
00:22:48,113 --> 00:22:49,413
It was cool.
209
00:22:50,856 --> 00:22:53,488
Like, she hit him because
he didn't give her anything.
210
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,538
Christmas specials suck.
211
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,939
They always make those
dumb Christmas special.
212
00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:15,787
And then it gets like: We're running,
we're running, we're running!
213
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,194
I wonder if "Cops" is gonna do
a Christmas special.
214
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:25,631
"You have the right to remain
silent, and it'll be used against you!"
215
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:29,401
"And we have the
right to kick your ass".
216
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,237
Christmas is cool.
16439
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