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1
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:06,226
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:06,259 --> 00:00:07,426
Oh, would you
look at you?
3
00:00:07,459 --> 00:00:10,543
Working like a dog
on a Saturday night.
4
00:00:10,873 --> 00:00:12,159
That's why the man
pays you the big buck.
5
00:00:12,193 --> 00:00:14,873
[CHUCKLES]
6
00:00:14,159 --> 00:00:17,543
You know, it's nice that
you're becoming this
independent woman
7
00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:19,543
who feels good
about staying at home
8
00:00:19,873 --> 00:00:20,509
but could you at least
wear thigh-high boots
9
00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:24,293
so I can feel good
about staying at home too.
10
00:00:24,326 --> 00:00:27,176
Come on, let's watch
a real tear-jerker.
11
00:00:27,209 --> 00:00:32,359
Oh, how many times can we watch
James Mason walk into the ocean?
12
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,509
No. This is a real
gut-wrenching,
cry-your-eyes-out time.
13
00:00:39,043 --> 00:00:42,193
I taped Bryant Gumbel's goodbye
on theToday
14
00:00:42,226 --> 00:00:43,293
Mmm!
15
00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:49,293
[SOBS]
16
00:00:51,359 --> 00:00:53,259
Oh, why did you
make me watch this?
17
00:00:53,293 --> 00:00:56,176
I was just getting over
Deborah Norville.
18
00:00:58,873 --> 00:00:59,443
Oh. Hmm.
19
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,509
Mmm.
20
00:01:01,443 --> 00:01:02,493
[SIGHS]
21
00:01:04,376 --> 00:01:06,143
[SNIFFLES] Hmm.
22
00:01:06,176 --> 00:01:07,393
Ahh!
23
00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:10,703
Well, thank you so much
for driving me home
24
00:01:10,143 --> 00:01:11,309
from the party, Danielle.
25
00:01:11,343 --> 00:01:14,243
Oh, the pleasure's all mine,
Maxwell.
26
00:01:14,276 --> 00:01:16,343
Ah. Oh, well.
27
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:17,443
Um... oh, whew!
28
00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:19,259
Look at the time.
29
00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:21,376
And I've got
an early day tomorrow.
30
00:01:21,409 --> 00:01:24,176
Then, um,
let's stay up all night.
31
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,359
Um...
32
00:01:25,393 --> 00:01:28,373
Well, now, look, Danielle,
we've only just met
33
00:01:28,703 --> 00:01:31,193
and the thing is,
I'm afraid I've had
a bit too much to drink.
34
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:35,209
Maxwell, you're not involved
with someone, are you?
35
00:01:35,243 --> 00:01:37,409
- Yes.
- Who?
36
00:01:38,393 --> 00:01:40,476
I don't know.
37
00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:44,293
Well, then, um,
let's not tell her. Okay?
38
00:01:46,159 --> 00:01:48,209
DANIELLE: [MOANS SOFTLY]
39
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,376
[MOANING CONTINUES]
40
00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:00,359
Good night, Mister--
41
00:02:00,393 --> 00:02:04,203
Oh, my God!
42
00:02:07,276 --> 00:02:09,393
In our own home?
43
00:02:09,426 --> 00:02:11,509
Ah, yes, let me--
44
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:13,393
Why don't I introduce--?
45
00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:16,459
You know, I have three kids
upstairs that
you are responsible for.
46
00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:20,243
There better be a good
explanation for this.
47
00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,203
Is this the woman you're
involved with?
48
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,526
Hmm?
Oh, of course not.
49
00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:25,509
This is my nanny.
50
00:02:27,703 --> 00:02:28,526
She seems very strict.
51
00:02:30,393 --> 00:02:31,493
Now, look here, honey,
52
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:34,873
we don't need some cheap floozy
in tight clothes
53
00:02:34,159 --> 00:02:36,373
turning his head around.
54
00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:37,459
That's what I'm here for.
55
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,873
Now, it's not
what it looks like.
56
00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:43,509
Um, we were both
at a banker's party.
57
00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:45,493
She was, um,
a guest of the host.
58
00:02:45,526 --> 00:02:49,359
I had just a little teeny
martini and I--
59
00:02:49,393 --> 00:02:52,226
Wait a minute.
Why am I explaining this to
you?
60
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,176
You're not my wife.
61
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,493
Ohh!
62
00:02:56,526 --> 00:02:58,209
Oh...
63
00:02:58,243 --> 00:03:03,209
[STAMMERS] I can't even process
that, it was so mean.
64
00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:07,443
That's it. I'm going home to
my
mother.
65
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:13,426
Wait a minute.
I didn't do anything wrong.
66
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,509
She's coming here.
67
00:03:19,426 --> 00:03:22,359
♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
68
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:24,543
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
69
00:03:24,873 --> 00:03:25,476
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
70
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,443
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
71
00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:30,326
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
72
00:03:30,359 --> 00:03:33,243
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushing to theSheffield's door ♪♪
73
00:03:33,276 --> 00:03:36,043
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more ♪♪
74
00:03:36,373 --> 00:03:38,159
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
75
00:03:38,193 --> 00:03:41,459
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny! ♪♪
76
00:03:41,493 --> 00:03:44,443
♪♪ Who would have guessed thatthe girl we've described ♪♪
77
00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:47,043
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
78
00:03:47,373 --> 00:03:48,343
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
79
00:03:48,376 --> 00:03:50,043
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
80
00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:51,703
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
81
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,359
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
82
00:03:52,393 --> 00:03:54,373
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
83
00:03:54,703 --> 00:03:58,159
♪♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
84
00:03:58,193 --> 00:04:00,209
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
85
00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:02,043
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
86
00:04:09,509 --> 00:04:13,259
Good morning, everyone, but you.
87
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:16,343
Tart, sir?
88
00:04:16,376 --> 00:04:19,143
Been there. Done that.
89
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:23,226
Would you excuse us
a moment, children?
90
00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:26,143
Miss Fine and I need to
discuss
something in private.
91
00:04:26,176 --> 00:04:27,343
Dad, it's no big secret.
92
00:04:27,376 --> 00:04:29,043
Fran was asleep on the couch.
93
00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:30,493
You came home ripped
with a blond model.
94
00:04:30,526 --> 00:04:33,276
Then you kissed her.
Fran snagged you.
Now you're in the dog house.
95
00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:35,309
Pass the Smucker's.
96
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,459
How did you know?
97
00:04:37,493 --> 00:04:40,376
Well, Dad, if you just
learned
to trust us like Niles does.
98
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:41,509
He tells us everything.
99
00:04:42,043 --> 00:04:43,309
Come along, children.
100
00:04:43,343 --> 00:04:47,276
Time to take some Kaopectate
for that verbal diarrhea.
101
00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:52,193
Miss Fine, it's all
perfectly innocent.
102
00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,326
That young lady--
103
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:55,176
Young? Ha!
104
00:04:55,209 --> 00:04:57,703
Maybe the new parts.
105
00:04:59,376 --> 00:05:03,543
I don't know why I'm always
having to defend myself to
you.
106
00:05:03,873 --> 00:05:04,426
Hmm?
I'm a grown man.
107
00:05:04,459 --> 00:05:07,293
I can come and go as I please.
108
00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:10,159
I don't know who you are
anymore.
109
00:05:11,393 --> 00:05:13,259
I am your boss.
110
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:15,309
You are the nanny.
111
00:05:15,343 --> 00:05:17,376
And that is an end to the
discussion.
112
00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:20,293
Fine. Then I'll say no more.
113
00:05:20,326 --> 00:05:22,143
Thank you.
114
00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:37,443
Oh, Dr. Miller, I keep seeing
him with that woman
115
00:05:37,476 --> 00:05:40,543
over and over again
in my head.
116
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,443
I mean, if all he wanted was
a night of cheap, tawdry sex
117
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,426
with some floozy, well
118
00:05:45,459 --> 00:05:48,443
I'm already on the payroll.
119
00:05:52,873 --> 00:05:54,193
Fran, you don't really
mean that, do you?
120
00:05:56,343 --> 00:05:59,543
Yes.
121
00:05:59,873 --> 00:06:04,476
Oh, God, how could he
do this to me?
122
00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,243
Fran, the problem is
123
00:06:07,276 --> 00:06:10,426
you're elevating Mr.
Sheffield
to the role of a husband.
124
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:15,203
Of course, you're gonna be
jealous if he goes around
behaving like a single man.
125
00:06:16,426 --> 00:06:18,209
Fran?
126
00:06:19,476 --> 00:06:21,193
Are you following me?
127
00:06:21,226 --> 00:06:23,493
Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Miller.
128
00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:28,409
It's just, after you put
"Mr. Sheffield" and "husband"
in the same sentence
129
00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:31,209
everything else
kind of went underwater.
130
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:37,309
Don't you see?
You're responding to him as
though you're in a
relationship.
131
00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:40,376
- Now, listen to me
carefully.
- Okay.
132
00:06:41,343 --> 00:06:43,293
He's your boss.
133
00:06:43,326 --> 00:06:45,443
You are the nanny.
134
00:06:48,703 --> 00:06:51,203
Wow!
135
00:06:52,293 --> 00:06:55,873
You mean, no one's ever pointed
that out to you before?
136
00:06:55,159 --> 00:06:56,359
Oh, constantly.
137
00:06:56,393 --> 00:07:00,426
But, you know, when you're
paying 140 bucks an hour
138
00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:04,703
it's got so much more
resonance.
139
00:07:11,373 --> 00:07:13,443
Niles, did my boyfriend call?
140
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,276
Oh, for heaven's sake,
you're almost 50.
141
00:07:16,309 --> 00:07:18,409
Do you have to call him
your boyfriend?
142
00:07:20,703 --> 00:07:23,203
You're just jealous
because I have a lover
143
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:24,493
and you have her.
144
00:07:26,359 --> 00:07:29,409
C.C., I've got your ticket
to the Broadway Guild Awards.
145
00:07:29,443 --> 00:07:32,509
Ooh, I hope there's an extra
one
because I'll need two.
146
00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:38,203
Hello, Mr. Sheffield.
147
00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:39,509
Oh, Miss Fine.
148
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:43,243
Well, you seem to have moved
past the unpleasantness
of the other morning.
149
00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:45,209
Did you have a good
therapy session?
150
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,259
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
151
00:07:47,293 --> 00:07:50,159
what goes on in a therapist's
office is confidential.
152
00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:53,209
You really shouldn't pry into
the private lives of others.
153
00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:54,343
Oh, the newPeople.
154
00:07:56,193 --> 00:07:58,376
Well, I'm glad you're
feeling
better, Miss Fine.
155
00:07:58,409 --> 00:08:02,043
Oh, I am.
Dr. Miller is a genius.
156
00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:04,343
He is so intelligent
and insightful.
157
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:07,293
I swear, I have never met a man
that understood me more.
158
00:08:07,326 --> 00:08:09,509
Ooh-hoo, sounds to me
like someone
159
00:08:10,043 --> 00:08:13,393
might have a little crush
on their therapist.
160
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:18,143
Sounds to me like someone
is a little jealous.
161
00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:22,176
See what you're doing,
don't you?
162
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:26,493
You are elevating me
to the status of wife.
163
00:08:29,203 --> 00:08:34,543
That's why you can't stand
to see me act like
a beautiful, single woman.
164
00:08:34,873 --> 00:08:36,509
I can assure you, Miss Fine,
I'm not jealous.
165
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:39,226
- Denial.
- I'm not in denial.
166
00:08:39,259 --> 00:08:42,526
Denying denial.
167
00:08:43,203 --> 00:08:47,276
So, what was this breakthrough
your genius therapist brought
you to?
168
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:53,159
You are my boss
169
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:56,276
and I am your nanny.
170
00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:03,459
And that is what I am paying
$140 an hour for?
171
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:06,309
I said the same thing to you
the other day.
172
00:09:06,343 --> 00:09:09,543
Yes, but you said it with anger.
173
00:09:09,873 --> 00:09:12,476
You really must learn
to communicate in a way
that I can absorb.
174
00:09:17,359 --> 00:09:19,543
[MUSIC PLAYING]
175
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,376
So you gotta remember,
when the movie starts
176
00:09:22,409 --> 00:09:24,176
turn up your hearing aid.
177
00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:26,459
They got sound now?
178
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:30,203
- Your turn.
- Oh, yeah.
179
00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,376
Um, I'll have a, um,
a large popcorn,
180
00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:36,393
no butter, no oil, dry,
air-popped with a Diet Coke.
181
00:09:36,426 --> 00:09:40,543
- Anything else?
- Yeah, a Goobers,
a large Snickers
182
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,243
and a nachos
with extra cheese.
183
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,226
Fran, you can eat all
that stuff in The Zone?
184
00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:49,259
- Yeah, the Twilight Zone.
- Mmm.
185
00:09:50,476 --> 00:09:53,509
Why can't I lose weight?
186
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:56,526
Maybe I should see a therapist
to help me stop eating.
187
00:09:57,203 --> 00:10:01,373
You know, it's the only thing
I haven't tried besides
diet and exercise.
188
00:10:02,259 --> 00:10:06,143
You know, Dr. Miller could help
you. He is an absolute genius.
189
00:10:06,176 --> 00:10:09,373
I'm telling you,
he's the next Sigmund Freud.
190
00:10:09,703 --> 00:10:12,393
He's an excellent doctor.
The best.
191
00:10:12,426 --> 00:10:14,176
You've been to Dr. Miller?
192
00:10:14,209 --> 00:10:16,543
No. Freud.
193
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,309
FRAN: Oh, my God.
194
00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:20,509
There's Dr. Miller. There he is.
195
00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:24,243
Oh, let's go over and say
hello.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
196
00:10:24,276 --> 00:10:29,476
If he asks me how I am
and I answer him,
is he gonna charge me?
197
00:10:29,509 --> 00:10:31,476
Fran, look at you.
You're so nervous.
198
00:10:31,509 --> 00:10:36,293
- Well, Val, we are in the
presence of genius here.
- Oh.
199
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:42,543
My only goal is that someday
I be as confident and
brilliant
200
00:10:42,873 --> 00:10:44,326
and sophisticated
as that man.
201
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:47,459
You mean the one
picking his nose?
202
00:10:50,459 --> 00:10:54,043
Oh, Yetta, a man as
distinguished as Dr. Miller
203
00:10:54,373 --> 00:10:57,376
doesn't pick his nose-- Wow,
he's really digging up there.
204
00:10:57,409 --> 00:11:00,343
Oh, my God.
205
00:11:01,309 --> 00:11:02,493
You know, it must be so nice
206
00:11:02,526 --> 00:11:06,393
to be so comfortable
with yourself.
207
00:11:06,426 --> 00:11:10,393
What's your shrink trying to
do,
pick his own brains?
208
00:11:11,526 --> 00:11:13,873
Oh, he's coming over.
209
00:11:13,159 --> 00:11:15,043
- He's coming--
- Oh, Fran, what a surprise.
210
00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:17,043
- Hi.
- How are you?
211
00:11:17,373 --> 00:11:19,243
Have you met my friend, Val?
212
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,276
[MUSIC PLAYING]
213
00:11:26,309 --> 00:11:29,243
Honey, what are you doing home?
Don't you have therapy now?
214
00:11:29,276 --> 00:11:31,159
Oh, no. I canceled it.
215
00:11:31,193 --> 00:11:35,193
You know, I think I'm very
disillusioned by Dr. Miller.
216
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:40,309
It reminds me of the time when
Mrs. Brady started dating Greg.
217
00:11:42,376 --> 00:11:46,476
Adds a whole new meaning
to being busy with
three boys of your own.
218
00:11:50,873 --> 00:11:52,176
Honey, what did the doctor do?
219
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:57,373
Oh, Ma, something so repulsive
and disgusting, I can't even
talk about it.
220
00:11:57,703 --> 00:11:59,376
-Ma, he picked his nose
in public.
-[GASPS]
221
00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:01,376
Ohh!
222
00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:06,293
Some people are
so unaware about how
they look to other people.
223
00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:16,159
Oh, Ma, swear that you're not
gonna tell Mr. Sheffield.
224
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,426
I built this guy up
to be such a genius
225
00:12:18,459 --> 00:12:22,873
that I don't wanna look
like ashmegegge.
226
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,459
Sweetheart, you live with him.
227
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,476
You raise his three children
without a ring on your
finger.
228
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:28,376
You're already ashmegegge.
229
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:35,393
Ma, that is my job. I happen
to
be a child care professional.
230
00:12:35,426 --> 00:12:37,159
MAGGIE: Fran?
231
00:12:37,193 --> 00:12:39,203
What's that?
232
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,426
One of the kid's calling.
233
00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:43,409
Oh! Coming.
234
00:12:45,326 --> 00:12:47,509
Niles, where's my--? Never mind.
235
00:12:49,193 --> 00:12:51,043
Oh, Sylvia,
236
00:12:51,373 --> 00:12:54,276
if you're looking for your
daughter, she's on her way to
therapy.
237
00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:55,509
No. She's upstairs.
238
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,259
She's not going
to that doctor anymore.
239
00:12:58,293 --> 00:13:00,873
Oh, why? What happened?
240
00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:04,203
Well, he did something
very inappropriate.
241
00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:09,443
She doesn't want me to tell
you.
She's afraid you'll overreact.
242
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,443
Well, what did he do?
243
00:13:12,476 --> 00:13:18,443
Let's just say he put his
hand
someplace he shouldn't have.
244
00:13:18,476 --> 00:13:22,493
Oh, my God! And nobody's
gonna do anything about it?
245
00:13:22,526 --> 00:13:25,393
What are you gonna do,
call the police?
246
00:13:25,426 --> 00:13:29,543
They would come to arrest
every man on the subway.
247
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,526
Oh, look at you.
248
00:13:41,203 --> 00:13:42,376
You look very '60s.
249
00:13:42,409 --> 00:13:44,293
It's a Dolce & Gabbana.
250
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:46,193
Mmm, I was talking
about your face.
251
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,476
Oh, by the way,
this came for you.
252
00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:51,293
What are all those
big creases in it?
253
00:13:51,326 --> 00:13:53,209
It was stuffed
in the mailbox.
254
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:55,209
I was talking about your neck.
255
00:13:57,043 --> 00:14:00,276
Oh, things are heating up
with Chandler.
256
00:14:00,309 --> 00:14:03,193
- He sent me the key
to his apartment.
- Mmm!
257
00:14:03,226 --> 00:14:05,309
"Dear C.C.,
258
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:09,143
you're suffocating me.
Here's your key back."
259
00:14:09,176 --> 00:14:11,193
Oh, you poor thing.
260
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:14,043
No date for your big
award ceremony Saturday?
261
00:14:14,373 --> 00:14:18,159
That ungrateful--
I waited on him hand and foot.
262
00:14:18,193 --> 00:14:20,409
Every morning at 6:30,
I brought him a hot latte.
263
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,259
I called him 40 times a day to
make sure he was eating right.
264
00:14:23,293 --> 00:14:26,409
How could he say
I was suffocating him?
265
00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:30,343
You poor thing. I can't
imagine
anything more humiliating.
266
00:14:30,376 --> 00:14:33,703
Oh, yeah? How's this?
267
00:14:33,143 --> 00:14:34,359
What are you doing
Saturday night?
268
00:14:34,393 --> 00:14:36,526
What makes you think
I'd be caught dead
269
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:38,359
at an award ceremony with you?
270
00:14:38,393 --> 00:14:40,703
Two hundred-fifty bucks?
271
00:14:40,143 --> 00:14:41,476
Pick me up at 8 and
buy yourself a corsage.
272
00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:43,159
I don't wanna look chintzy.
273
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,376
- [KNOCKING]
- MAXWELL: Miss Fine,
are you decent?
274
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,243
Uh, yeah, but I can get
indecent in a minute.
275
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,526
I just want you to know
that what your therapist did
276
00:14:56,203 --> 00:14:59,259
was reprehensible.
And I support you 100 percent.
277
00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:03,873
How could Ma have told you?
278
00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:05,493
I left her with so much food.
279
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,376
You-- Do you wanna
talk about it?
280
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:14,373
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
it's just that I always
thought of Dr. Miller
281
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:17,426
as being so professional
with such impeccable
character.
282
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,459
I would have never thought
he could do anything so...
283
00:15:20,493 --> 00:15:24,209
[SHUDDERS] ...disgusting.
284
00:15:24,243 --> 00:15:26,393
The man should have
his license revoked.
285
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,426
Well, I don't know about that.
286
00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:31,259
I mean, all guys need
to do it now and then.
287
00:15:31,293 --> 00:15:35,343
But usually they have
the decency to wait until
they get into the car.
288
00:15:45,309 --> 00:15:48,043
Excuse me. I don't mean
to be presumptuous
289
00:15:48,373 --> 00:15:50,409
but you are one
of the most beautiful women
290
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:52,703
I have ever seen.
291
00:15:52,143 --> 00:15:56,043
Oh, well, thanks.
292
00:15:58,409 --> 00:16:01,873
Gee, you know,
you seem pretty together.
293
00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,226
What are you doing
going to therapy?
294
00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:05,509
Oh, I'm a compulsive liar.
295
00:16:11,226 --> 00:16:14,043
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
what are you doing here?
296
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,176
I've come to give this
doctor,
and I use the term loosely,
297
00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:19,209
a piece of my mind.
298
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:22,176
More important question is,
what
are you doing here, Miss Fine?
299
00:16:22,209 --> 00:16:24,226
Well, I wanted to confront him.
300
00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,309
And I felt like you already
paid for the session,
301
00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:30,276
I might as well work
through the trauma of
seeing my parents in bed.
302
00:16:32,226 --> 00:16:33,376
Having sex?
303
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,526
No. Whitefish.
304
00:16:36,493 --> 00:16:38,426
Oh, I'm next.
305
00:16:38,459 --> 00:16:40,426
So, do you want me
to go in with you?
306
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:45,193
Oh, no. I really need
to learn how to handle these
situations like an adult
307
00:16:45,226 --> 00:16:48,543
and not always expect you
to be there to take care of
me.
308
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:51,543
- I understand.
- Can I have a little
huggy-poo first?
309
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:59,493
You're Maxwell Sheffield,
the producer.
310
00:16:59,526 --> 00:17:03,393
Well, I've seen every one of
your shows. You're brilliant.
311
00:17:03,426 --> 00:17:06,309
Oh, thank you.
312
00:17:08,203 --> 00:17:10,509
- So did you enjoy the movie?
- Oh, not really.
313
00:17:11,043 --> 00:17:14,873
Thank God I bought a box of
boogers-- I mean, Goobers.
314
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:21,203
You, uh, seem a bit anxious.
315
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,443
Well, it's just that I do
have something on my mind
316
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,343
and I just find it
so difficult articulating
317
00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:30,193
that I saw you
picking your nose.
318
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,259
You did?
319
00:17:33,293 --> 00:17:35,326
And you found that
so offensive?
320
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,043
Yeah. I could vomit.
321
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:43,243
You catch me doing
something perfectly human
322
00:17:43,276 --> 00:17:45,426
and now you've changed
your entire opinion
323
00:17:45,459 --> 00:17:50,203
just because you saw me
with my finger in my nose?
324
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:12,393
Well, don't you see
what you're doing?
325
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:15,476
You're doing the same thing to
me as you do to Mr. Sheffield.
326
00:18:15,509 --> 00:18:20,203
It is very common
for a woman to idealize
the men in her life,
327
00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:23,873
hoping that she'll find one
as perfect as her father.
328
00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:25,373
Oh, you're right, doctor.
329
00:18:25,703 --> 00:18:27,326
A guy who sleeps all day,
wears a bad wig
330
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:31,443
and stinks of chopped liver
doesn't fall off trees.
331
00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:35,343
No way are you old enough
to have a 17-year-old daughter?
332
00:18:35,376 --> 00:18:38,443
Yeah, yeah, sincerely.
I'm 44-years-old.
333
00:18:38,476 --> 00:18:41,259
- What?
- Yes, I am.
334
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:43,376
Oh, so how did it go?
335
00:18:43,409 --> 00:18:46,326
Well, he explained that
what he did wasn't so wrong.
336
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,293
I mean, men are human
337
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:52,509
and he had an itch,
he had to scratch it.
338
00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:55,293
That is such a crock!
339
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,509
Let me get in there.
340
00:18:57,043 --> 00:18:59,043
What the hell do you think
you're doing to this woman?!
341
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:00,476
You should have
your license revoked!
342
00:19:00,509 --> 00:19:03,703
Well, you must be looking
for Dr. Pepkin.
343
00:19:04,373 --> 00:19:05,409
No. I'm looking for a doctor
344
00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:08,159
who takes advantage of poor,
vulnerable patients.
345
00:19:08,193 --> 00:19:10,193
Yes, that's Pepkin.
346
00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:13,526
Stand back, Miss Fine.
I'm gonna teach this genius
of yours a lesson.
347
00:19:14,203 --> 00:19:18,143
Mr. Sheffield, why are you
acting so macho, like an
animal?
348
00:19:18,176 --> 00:19:20,226
It's good.
349
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:23,203
I'm not gonna let him take
advantage of you, Miss Fine.
350
00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:25,209
Wait a minute. Does everyone in
your world react in such a way
351
00:19:25,243 --> 00:19:27,203
to someone picking their nose?
352
00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:28,426
You're damn right!
353
00:19:30,526 --> 00:19:33,373
Excuse me a moment.
354
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,243
He picked his nose?
355
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,443
Yeah. What did you think he did?
356
00:19:43,393 --> 00:19:45,203
Not that.
357
00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:50,526
Where would you get that from?
358
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:55,493
What? From the same place
I get every other idiotic,
meshuganah
359
00:19:56,326 --> 00:19:58,143
From you!
360
00:19:58,176 --> 00:20:01,343
You're gonna drive me
into a bloody institution,
you know that?
361
00:20:01,376 --> 00:20:05,426
Now, do you see how he yells
at me, makes me feel this big?
362
00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:09,359
Then you wonder why
I elevate him to "husband".
363
00:20:09,393 --> 00:20:11,209
Come on!
364
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:14,343
You know, can I just say you two
365
00:20:14,376 --> 00:20:18,293
make the most beautiful, most
perfect couple I have ever
seen.
366
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:22,243
- Who is this guy?
- Oh, he's just--
367
00:20:23,393 --> 00:20:25,243
He happens to be
368
00:20:25,276 --> 00:20:29,293
one of the most well-respected
marriage counselors
in the business.
369
00:20:34,409 --> 00:20:36,459
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
370
00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:41,143
♪♪ Our love is here to stay ♪♪
371
00:20:41,176 --> 00:20:44,343
♪♪ Not for a year ♪♪
372
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:46,243
Oh, what a night.
373
00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:48,143
I don't know how I had
the presence of mind
374
00:20:48,176 --> 00:20:50,476
to keep my acceptance speech
down to 30 seconds.
375
00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:53,203
You didn't thank anyone.
376
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:56,309
Oh, right.
377
00:20:58,409 --> 00:21:01,443
Oh, Niles, thank you
for escorting me.
378
00:21:01,476 --> 00:21:05,703
You know, you're actually
almost charming
379
00:21:05,143 --> 00:21:08,543
when you're not being
a mean, miserable old man.
380
00:21:08,873 --> 00:21:11,226
Funny, I was gonna say
the same about you.
381
00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:16,209
[HEARTY LAUGH]
382
00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:18,143
You know, I'm really glad
383
00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:21,043
that this little fling
between
you and Chandler is over.
384
00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:23,326
- Oh?
- Yes. He was beneath you.
385
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,393
Not anymore.
386
00:21:25,426 --> 00:21:27,509
BOTH: [SNICKERING]
387
00:21:29,176 --> 00:21:30,526
Oh, I almost forgot.
388
00:21:31,293 --> 00:21:34,703
Here is your... check.
389
00:21:37,326 --> 00:21:38,509
This one's on me.
390
00:21:39,043 --> 00:21:41,393
♪♪ Our love is here ♪♪
391
00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:46,703
♪♪ To stay ♪♪
392
00:21:56,209 --> 00:21:58,276
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
30369
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