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Hello, everybody. Hello. Thank you.
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Hello!
00:22.200 --> 00:25.520
Hello and welcome
to a Top Gear special,
00:25.520 --> 00:28.520
which tonight comes to you
from South America.
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Yeah. The brief was simple. Each
of us would be given a pittance.
00:32.360 --> 00:35.560
And we were told we could
buy any car we liked
00:35.560 --> 00:38.880
from a second-hand car
website in Bolivia.
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Yeah. And the only bit of advice
we got, rather worryingly,
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was that it would be best if we
chose a car with four-wheel drive.
00:45.440 --> 00:48.080
We were then told we would
be united with our cars
00:48.080 --> 00:51.000
somewhere around here in
a place called Spidertown,
00:51.000 --> 00:55.040
right in the middle
of the Amazon Rainforest.
00:58.080 --> 01:01.560
These are the views that
greeted us from our helicopter.
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Except they're not,
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because the helicopter
booked for us had crashed.
01:09.200 --> 01:11.640
That meant we had to
borrow these pictures
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from Bruce Parry's programme...
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..and go to the start
point in a boat...
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utterly bewildered by everything.
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Look at that purple tree!
The butterfly's more amazing.
01:24.920 --> 01:29.320
No, the purple tree's the best. No!
The butterfly was the size of a bat.
01:29.320 --> 01:30.960
Another crocodile over there.
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It's not a crocodile,
it's a lump of wood.
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Bird! Bird!
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We're close to the Equator. We're
very close. Perhaps we're on it!
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No, we'd see a big dotted line.
01:41.360 --> 01:44.840
'And we weren't the only
fish out of water.'
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It jumped in the boat!
It jumped in the boat!
01:48.360 --> 01:51.320
In the boat!
I've got it with my knife!
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Ha-ha! Is that a piranha?
01:54.520 --> 01:56.840
It's not a piranha,
they're long and thin.
01:56.840 --> 02:00.200
They're not! No, they're not!
They are! They're short and fat!
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Oh, that's sharks.
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'Eventually, the boat dumped the
three worst explorers in history
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'on a bank,
in the middle of nowhere...
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'and left.'
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Have we just been abandoned here
to die? Whoa-whoa! What is it, what?
02:15.680 --> 02:18.960
Are those zips?! Well,
they're outdoor trousers.
02:18.960 --> 02:21.320
You can unzip the bottoms?! Yes!
02:21.320 --> 02:24.400
I'm sorry, on the kit front, chaps...
James, what's all this?
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This is my belt of many things.
What is that? Don't touch it.
02:29.200 --> 02:32.560
That's a dental healthcare kit.
What's this? Don't touch it!
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That is a shoe-polishing kit.
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BOTH: What?!
02:35.520 --> 02:39.960
A shoe-polishing kit! Thank God
for that(!) If we get hungry,
we can eat his Kiwi boot polish!
02:39.960 --> 02:44.480
Basically, what you've done is buy a
"My First Explorer" kit, put it on
your belt... Don't touch it.
02:44.480 --> 02:47.040
'Hammond then revealed
a little secret.'
02:47.040 --> 02:49.000
So all these insects, where are they?
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Why, are you frightened of insects?
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Yeah. Are you? Yeah. Really?
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Don't mess about. Seriously,
I am. It's a phobia.
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It's like you and heights.
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It's not you're scared of
falling off, it's a phobia.
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You are scared of heights.
This is the same, it's a phobia.
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I just don't... What's yours? Phobia?
Manual labour, you know that.
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That's not a phobia,
that's bone idleness.
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Rubbish! That's not a clinical
thing, that's just cos you're lazy.
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'Since we didn't know what to do,
we just sat down and did nothing.'
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I'm sure there's spiders in here,
there will be. Shh.
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What?
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Is that... Uh-oh.
..in harmony with nature?
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Stop playing ethnic tunes. Boys...
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Cars.
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'Plainly, there had been
a terrible mix-up
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'because one of the cars
on the raft was a little Suzuki.
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'None of us would
have been that daft.
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'But then we remembered...
James was with us.'
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1.3 litre... 1.3 litre!
..Wine bar specials.
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Famous for being able to stay
on their own four wheels...
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No, no, no. Falling over.
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I presume then the Land Cruiser,
by power of deduction, is yours.
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Yes, it is. Correct choice,
everyone will agree.
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And you have, if my eyes are not
deceiving me, a Range Rover.
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The best 4x4, by far, as we know.
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I had one of those. Yeah, classic.
I had one as well. Yeah.
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Did yours ever...work? No.
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How is that raft steering itself?
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There's a little boat
behind it, look.
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'The driver of the little boat pushed
the raft vaguely near the bank...'
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Right. Well, we can get... No,
don't do that, we need to get it...
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'..and then went home.'
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Is that him just gone? Yep.
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Oi! You haven't parked it!
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'We tried to pull the raft nearer to
the bank but it was very difficult.'
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Heave! It's not moving!
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'So we gave up.'
04:58.160 --> 05:00.000
That's it, lads.
Up the gang plank.
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Ow! There's a thing there.
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We are good. It's like literally
being with Livingstone... Yeah.
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..and...
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THEY LAUGH
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Do you want a hand up? Help!
Probably quite painful!
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It was. Don't worry, I'm all right.
05:16.920 --> 05:20.960
'Eventually, even
Indiana Clarkson was onboard
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'so we could get our first look
at what we'd bought
05:23.560 --> 05:25.480
'from the Bolivian classifieds.'
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Notoriously long-lived,
sturdy, reliable, small, agile.
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What does it say in the advert
in the Bolivian Auto Trader?
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I'll tell you what it did show in
the picture. That it was blue.
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THEY LAUGH
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Did it say, in the advert, that all
four tyres would be pumped up?
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No.
HE LAUGHS
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Oh, bloody hell.
We did buy these long distance.
05:47.960 --> 05:51.840
'The only thing saggier than
my tyre was Hammond's roof.
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It wasn't always
a convertible, was it?
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No, it's been converted
to a convertible.
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It's been converted by someone
who is A, of Spanish descent
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and B, a communist.
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It's a tasty car all round.
I'm very pleased.
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I like the see-through...
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I like this. The window's not here,
it's here and there's no winder.
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I don't need one, it's hot.
06:10.920 --> 06:14.000
'To demonstrate what fools
the others had been,
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'I showed them the beating heart
of my mighty Ranger Rover.'
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Behold, gentlemen,
the 3.9 litre V8 engine. Ahem.
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3.9, yeah? 3.9. They had injection,
didn't they, Hammond, the 3.9?
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Yes. All of them were fuel-injected.
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What are those on top?
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I believe they're carburettors.
They look like carburettors.
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BLEEP. They ARE carburettors.
They are carburettors, yeah.
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That can't be a 3.9, mate,
that's a 3.5!
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It said in the advert is was a 3.9!
It said mine was blue.
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OK, so there's some issues.
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You'll be opening
the bonnet a lot. I won't.
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You will! That's what killed these
off, globally. Why does everywhere,
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all over the world, anywhere
difficult and inhospitable
use a Toyota Land Cruiser?
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First Aztec bird we come across,
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she'll make a bee-line
for me in this.
07:00.560 --> 07:02.240
Yeah, OK.
07:02.240 --> 07:07.600
'We could've continued arguing,
but we had to leap ashore...'
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'Well, come on, then.'
07:09.440 --> 07:12.440
'..Because our challenge
had arrived.'
07:12.440 --> 07:13.800
Thank you very much.
07:13.800 --> 07:18.320
OK. It says, "You are in Bolivia.
07:18.320 --> 07:23.720
"And you will drive to the Pacific
Ocean, which is 1,000 miles away."
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So we have to go 1,000 miles.
There's a jungle in the way.
07:29.280 --> 07:31.960
And the jungle would
just be the start of it,
07:31.960 --> 07:35.960
because on our journey we'd have
to negotiate active volcanoes,
07:35.960 --> 07:40.760
utterly lifeless deserts and
perilous mountain passes.
07:43.480 --> 07:47.360
But before all that, we had
to get our cars off the raft.
07:47.360 --> 07:51.280
Which, as you can plainly see,
would not be easy.
07:51.280 --> 07:53.160
Clearly!
07:53.160 --> 07:55.000
Oh, come on!
07:57.200 --> 07:59.960
'Trying to move the raft
soon led to a problem.'
07:59.960 --> 08:01.960
Holy moly!
08:01.960 --> 08:03.520
I am sinking.
08:03.520 --> 08:06.760
Yeah. It's getting deeper!
Pull yourself out.
08:06.760 --> 08:09.760
I cannot pull myself out.
Every time the bubbles come out,
08:09.760 --> 08:11.480
you go in deeper. I know!
08:11.480 --> 08:15.120
That's brilliant! Oh, God, no.
08:15.120 --> 08:17.600
THEY LAUGH
08:17.600 --> 08:18.960
As I sank into the ooze,
08:18.960 --> 08:21.800
my colleagues became
increasingly concerned.
08:21.800 --> 08:25.160
His plums are in the Amazon, look!
THEY LAUGH
08:25.160 --> 08:28.560
Go and get a rope or something,
just to tie around my waist.
08:28.560 --> 08:30.240
All right, we'll get something.
08:30.240 --> 08:33.679
'Eventually, and rather reluctantly,
08:33.679 --> 08:36.400
'they decided to pull me out
with my Range Rover.'
08:36.400 --> 08:39.520
Hammond! Yes!
What are you bloody doing?
08:39.520 --> 08:41.720
You want a proper knot,
don't you? No!
08:41.720 --> 08:43.880
Just any old knot.
08:43.880 --> 08:44.920
Will it start?
08:44.920 --> 08:46.280
ENGINE STALLS
08:46.280 --> 08:47.320
Oh.
08:47.320 --> 08:49.040
ENGINE STALLS
Start!
08:49.040 --> 08:51.080
You brought the wrong car.
08:51.080 --> 08:53.640
ENGINE STARTS
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
08:53.640 --> 08:55.720
Backwards!
08:55.720 --> 08:57.640
Pull. Pull.
08:57.640 --> 09:00.920
You coming up? Yes! Oh, yes!
09:00.920 --> 09:02.040
Ow! Say when.
09:02.040 --> 09:03.680
All right. Here we go. Yes.
09:03.680 --> 09:06.120
Ow, my arm parts.
Is it loose enough?
09:06.120 --> 09:07.800
Yes. Stop, stop, stop.
09:07.800 --> 09:10.160
Stop. So, as we can see,
my car's best.
09:10.160 --> 09:13.280
Well, it didn't let you down there,
when it really mattered.
09:13.280 --> 09:16.080
'Trying to move the raft
had resulted in nothing more
09:16.080 --> 09:19.160
'than some muddy tide-marks
on my trousers.'
09:19.160 --> 09:21.160
My jeans are ruined!
09:22.160 --> 09:26.680
And so, with half the day gone,
we had to come up with a new plan.
09:26.680 --> 09:30.320
You know, in the Second World War,
when a submarine was grounded?
09:30.320 --> 09:31.840
When it had hit the bottom?
09:31.840 --> 09:36.800
They used to get the crew to run
backwards and forwards and it would
sort of shuffle it along.
09:36.800 --> 09:39.160
Are you suggesting
we run backwards and forwards?
09:39.160 --> 09:41.320
No, no, no! Use the cars.
09:41.320 --> 09:43.520
If we go right
to the back of the boat,
09:43.520 --> 09:46.280
that weighs the back down
and lifts the front up.
09:46.280 --> 09:50.360
We then charge forward. The act of
doing that will shuffle the boat
09:50.360 --> 09:52.920
nearer to that bank.
That's a good idea!
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'All we needed to do, then,
was back our cars up a bit.'
09:59.200 --> 10:02.640
Oh, no. Hammond!
Has anybody got any jump leads?
10:02.640 --> 10:04.920
Seriously? You're joking.
It won't start.
10:04.920 --> 10:08.480
Just want to get this
completely clear again.
10:08.480 --> 10:12.160
Range Rover - starting, working
well. Already saved a man's life.
10:12.160 --> 10:14.920
Land Cruiser - broken down.
10:16.400 --> 10:20.000
Oh, smoke! Smoke, smoke, quite a lot
of smoke. Something's on fire!
10:20.000 --> 10:21.600
The starter motor's burn out.
10:21.600 --> 10:24.880
'Despite using the
correct technique,
10:24.880 --> 10:27.280
'Hammond couldn't
get his car going.'
10:27.280 --> 10:28.520
It's on fire again!
10:28.520 --> 10:33.080
And so, with the sun sinking,
I offered to help.
10:33.080 --> 10:36.040
Why don't we simply attach it
to the back of the Range Rover
10:36.040 --> 10:37.560
and I'll you a pull from here?
10:37.560 --> 10:41.720
Because I'd rather drown myself,
but, yeah, it's... All right!
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What's that noise?
10:46.760 --> 10:50.200
Insects! Massive insects.
Millions of them.
10:50.200 --> 10:53.040
Just hurry up, quickly!
All right, move forwards.
10:53.040 --> 10:54.080
Mind your head!
10:54.080 --> 10:56.440
'As the light faded, we lined up
10:56.440 --> 11:00.200
'for the most ambitious
jump-start in history.'
11:00.200 --> 11:03.280
And...stop.
11:03.280 --> 11:07.160
Three, two, one, go!
11:12.160 --> 11:13.880
Sorry! What did you do that for?!
11:13.880 --> 11:17.000
My breaks aren't very good!
Did it work? No.
11:17.000 --> 11:18.480
Try again!
11:24.680 --> 11:26.760
What happened? Nothing.
11:26.760 --> 11:29.120
And...stop.
11:30.960 --> 11:34.360
Three, two, one, go.
11:38.720 --> 11:41.480
Try again! That's the good thing
about Range Rovers,
11:41.480 --> 11:42.880
they can do this all night.
11:42.880 --> 11:46.160
Yes, yes. When this thing starts,
it'll brilliant.
11:48.920 --> 11:51.680
'The morning light
revealed our progress.'
11:53.560 --> 11:58.440
Sitrep... Everything we tried
in the night didn't work.
11:58.440 --> 12:00.560
But we have found peanuts.
12:00.560 --> 12:04.800
'Rather embarrassingly,
James then discovered something.'
12:04.800 --> 12:08.480
These planks are longer
than that one you've been
falling down constantly.
12:08.480 --> 12:10.680
If you get in here and
grab the other end...
12:10.680 --> 12:13.960
Are they long enough to...?
Two together will.
12:13.960 --> 12:19.200
'Soon, we had a ramp and our first
car was ready to disembark.'
12:19.200 --> 12:21.600
Watch the long-haired man.
12:24.480 --> 12:27.440
Let's see his back wheels on.
Don't stand there.
12:27.440 --> 12:30.080
Do you want us to help you?
You're all right.
12:30.080 --> 12:31.720
You're all right this side.
12:31.720 --> 12:33.520
You're all right.
12:33.520 --> 12:35.240
Yes!
12:35.240 --> 12:39.240
Oh! Four-wheel drive! It is
four-wheel drive, you half-wit.
12:39.240 --> 12:41.920
Well, why are the front wheels
not doing anything?
12:41.920 --> 12:45.440
Don't tell me they don't work.
Try again! Say when...
12:45.440 --> 12:47.640
OK! It's not good!
12:47.640 --> 12:49.240
That's stuck now.
12:49.240 --> 12:53.160
'The whole weight of James'
three-wheel drive Suzuki
12:53.160 --> 12:55.600
'was resting on our ramp.
12:55.600 --> 12:57.880
'So we had to build another one.'
12:58.880 --> 13:01.040
You're all right. Right.
13:01.040 --> 13:03.320
Range Rover, British engineering,
don't let me down.
13:03.320 --> 13:05.200
To the left.
13:08.560 --> 13:10.600
Poo is coming out.
13:10.600 --> 13:12.880
Here we go!
13:16.880 --> 13:21.120
Now that's what I call
four-wheel drive!
13:21.120 --> 13:24.160
Having rescued a man from the ooze,
13:24.160 --> 13:28.200
the mighty Range Rover would now
rescue the Suzuki.
13:28.200 --> 13:30.040
There's only an ounce to pull.
13:30.040 --> 13:33.360
Please be gentle with this,
Jeremy, and not a yob.
13:33.360 --> 13:34.480
Power!
13:37.320 --> 13:39.680
Got him. Stop, stop, stop!
13:39.680 --> 13:41.280
Yes, that's it!
13:43.280 --> 13:45.440
What a pillock!
13:45.440 --> 13:48.080
'I then lined up
to pull the brakeless,
13:48.080 --> 13:50.800
'powerless Toyota down the ramp.'
13:52.280 --> 13:56.320
We were supposed to be
averaging 100 miles a day.
13:56.320 --> 13:59.680
So far, we've done, well,
I've done, about 20 feet.
14:02.560 --> 14:03.640
Ready?
14:03.640 --> 14:05.680
No. Right, he's ready. Gently.
14:05.680 --> 14:07.400
Oh, dear God.
14:07.400 --> 14:08.520
Go.
14:22.440 --> 14:23.560
Ha, ha, ha!
14:25.000 --> 14:27.280
'Finally, we were all off the raft.
14:27.280 --> 14:31.320
'And, as a reward, the producers
gave us a box of things
14:31.320 --> 14:34.680
'to help us survive
the perils that lay ahead.'
14:35.960 --> 14:38.640
Chainsaw. That's good, that's useful.
14:38.640 --> 14:41.760
What is this? I know what
that is, that's a winch.
14:41.760 --> 14:43.440
Some rubber tubing.
14:43.440 --> 14:47.560
Durex. Condoms? Vaseline.
14:47.560 --> 14:50.120
Tampax...and...
14:50.120 --> 14:52.880
Viagra. I know we're gonna
be in the jungle together,
14:52.880 --> 14:56.160
but that's a bit extreme. What
kind of party are they planning?
14:56.160 --> 14:58.720
'We loaded up
the Ann Summers box...'
15:00.240 --> 15:02.640
'..jump started Hammond's car...'
15:02.640 --> 15:06.360
Yee-ha! Is that working?
Now you're gonna see!
15:06.360 --> 15:09.360
Go! Fire it up! Jungle!
15:09.360 --> 15:11.440
'..and got cracking.'
15:17.880 --> 15:20.240
'The jungle was a worthy adversary.'
15:23.200 --> 15:24.400
Oh!
15:26.400 --> 15:30.000
'But, for hour after hour,
we battled our way through.'
15:34.840 --> 15:36.800
Do you want more?
15:36.800 --> 15:38.400
This is the marker!
15:40.280 --> 15:43.920
Rainforest. Shit. Good job!
15:50.200 --> 15:53.200
Guys...I left my phone down
by the river.
15:53.200 --> 15:54.640
Oh, God.
15:54.640 --> 15:57.240
Dipstick. I'm going
to have to go and get it.
15:57.240 --> 15:59.560
Just wait here, I'll go get it.
15:59.560 --> 16:00.640
Take care.
16:00.640 --> 16:06.080
Oh! Oh, mate. Finally,
we are making progress.
16:06.080 --> 16:08.320
Hammond! Yeah?
16:08.320 --> 16:10.920
Did I leave it on that rock?
16:10.920 --> 16:15.120
No, it was on the stump I tied
the raft too. Just by the rock.
16:15.120 --> 16:16.480
OK, got it! OK.
16:16.480 --> 16:17.760
Got it. Good. Let's move!
16:17.760 --> 16:20.560
Now we're making progress,
let's keep up the momentum.
16:21.640 --> 16:24.440
'Soon, we found a logging track
16:24.440 --> 16:27.000
'where finally we could
get to know our cars.'
16:28.000 --> 16:31.560
Time to find out what
is working on my Range Rover.
16:31.560 --> 16:35.760
All these dials in the middle
made by Smiths - so, no.
16:35.760 --> 16:37.840
Speedo, no.
16:38.960 --> 16:42.880
The Range Rover was designed by
a man called Charles Spencer-King,
16:42.880 --> 16:45.200
who was, no question, a genius.
16:45.200 --> 16:50.400
Unfortunately, it was
then made in the Midlands,
16:50.400 --> 16:54.360
just "that'll do".
Everything was "that'll do".
16:54.360 --> 17:00.680
An UNBELIEVABLE piece of design,
ruined by minkies.
17:00.680 --> 17:02.200
That said, however,
17:02.200 --> 17:07.440
I seem to have bought the only 1980s
Range Rover in the world that works.
17:10.960 --> 17:15.119
Given that Land Cruisers are
legendarily reliable and bulletproof,
17:15.119 --> 17:17.280
this one isn't.
17:17.280 --> 17:22.119
Oil pressure gauge, not working.
Temperature gauge, not working.
17:22.119 --> 17:24.400
Fuel gauge...dunno.
17:24.400 --> 17:26.560
Brakes not working.
17:26.560 --> 17:28.520
That makes this one more special.
17:28.520 --> 17:33.520
I have bought the only malfunctioning
Land Cruiser in the world.
17:33.520 --> 17:37.480
And it is unique and therefore
probably priceless.
17:41.040 --> 17:43.800
'Sure, my Suzuki only
had three-wheel drive,
17:43.800 --> 17:47.160
'but I wasn't going to let that
tiny detail spoil the day.'
17:48.880 --> 17:51.720
You're probably looking at
this Suzuki and thinking,
17:51.720 --> 17:55.320
"It's small and comical, it's a toy
off-road, it's for hairdressers,"
17:55.320 --> 17:59.320
And all the rest of it, but I'll
tell you what it is - it's plucky.
17:59.320 --> 18:01.440
It's a bit like Finland in the war.
18:01.440 --> 18:04.680
Look at Jeremy's Range Rover
lumbering along
18:04.680 --> 18:06.680
this great, heavy beast of burden.
18:06.680 --> 18:10.320
this is like a little mountain goat,
it just skips along. 'May?'
18:10.320 --> 18:13.080
Talk of the devil. Hello.
18:13.080 --> 18:16.080
Just to let you know, one of your
rear lights is hanging off,
18:16.080 --> 18:19.320
but it's OK, I can mend it for you
with a small Phillips on my belt.
18:19.320 --> 18:23.320
The voice there of the missing
member of Van Halen.
18:31.880 --> 18:34.920
'Darkness fell,
but the temperature didn't.'
18:34.920 --> 18:40.400
How can it be this hot at midnight?
How's that possible?
18:40.400 --> 18:44.640
'Hammond, however, had more to worry
about than the heat.'
18:44.640 --> 18:46.840
Ow! What the BLEEP is that?
18:46.840 --> 18:51.560
There's something in here
squeaking at me, I'm... Oh, ho!
18:51.560 --> 18:53.760
Bleurgh! Ah!
18:53.760 --> 18:57.280
Oh! OH! What is that?!
18:57.280 --> 18:59.160
Oh! BLEEP.
18:59.160 --> 19:02.960
I can't stand that! I can't stand
that! I've gotta get out!
19:04.800 --> 19:07.280
'Blashford-Hammond insisted
we made camp,
19:07.280 --> 19:10.520
'where, to cheer him up,
I read him some bedtime stories.'
19:11.520 --> 19:14.280
This is a book about
all the creatures
19:14.280 --> 19:18.200
that live in the rainforest
that Mr Sting hasn't told us about.
19:18.200 --> 19:21.640
Would you like to hear about the...
19:21.640 --> 19:24.120
Brazilian Wandering Spider?
19:24.120 --> 19:26.160
Not really, no.
19:26.160 --> 19:30.200
"Causes around five human
fatalities a year...
19:30.200 --> 19:32.120
"lives on the forest floor."
19:33.120 --> 19:35.160
SCREECHING
19:35.160 --> 19:36.920
What is that?
19:36.920 --> 19:40.680
Head torch. I'm looking for...
What's it called? Wandering Spider.
19:40.680 --> 19:43.280
Ooh, the botfly.
Now, this is a marvellous thing.
19:43.280 --> 19:45.720
"The botfly cannot
sting a human directly,
19:45.720 --> 19:47.440
"but catches smaller insects,
19:47.440 --> 19:51.280
"lays its larvae upon them
and then releases them.
19:51.280 --> 19:54.680
"If the smaller, host insect
then bites the human,
19:54.680 --> 19:57.760
"the botfly larvae are
impregnated into the skin.
19:57.760 --> 20:00.320
"The larvae then pupates
inside the skin,
20:00.320 --> 20:03.720
"at which point they EAT their
way out and fly away.
20:03.720 --> 20:08.200
"The BBC Natural History Unit
reports the case of a man
20:08.200 --> 20:11.480
"who was bitten behind the ear
and kept awake at night
20:11.480 --> 20:15.680
"by the sound of the botfly larvae
eating the flesh inside his head."
20:16.680 --> 20:19.120
'Hammond didn't have a good night.'
20:19.120 --> 20:20.160
What's that?
20:20.160 --> 20:22.080
Argh! Argh!
20:22.080 --> 20:23.400
Stick insect!
20:23.400 --> 20:25.360
There's big things on my head!
20:25.360 --> 20:26.400
Oh, what is that?!
20:26.400 --> 20:29.640
There's something just flew in my
hair and it's squeaking at me!
20:29.640 --> 20:31.240
It's big! It's really...
20:33.240 --> 20:36.920
'And, to be honest, he didn't
have a great morning either.'
20:36.920 --> 20:39.360
Who has done this?!
20:43.160 --> 20:48.040
'To get away
from the creepy-crawlies,
I sought refuge in my car.'
20:48.040 --> 20:51.680
OK. Guys?
20:51.680 --> 20:54.040
Ooh. There is a snake in your car.
20:54.040 --> 20:56.560
He's coming up here.
He's coming up here.
20:56.560 --> 20:59.880
It's known locally as
"the big vicious killer snake."
20:59.880 --> 21:01.560
Thanks.
21:01.560 --> 21:07.520
Our raggedy convoy hit the trail
with Hammond still moaning.
21:07.520 --> 21:08.720
Who's got my trouser-leg?
21:08.720 --> 21:10.600
Has your trouser-leg gone missing?
21:10.600 --> 21:17.160
'We soldiered on with the Range
Rover up front, forging a path
through the dense jungle.'
21:17.160 --> 21:21.760
Look at it - rescuing other cars,
ploughing through here.
21:21.760 --> 21:25.800
My sweat being soaked up
by the floor!
21:28.160 --> 21:32.080
But soon, the strain of point duty
began to show.
21:32.080 --> 21:37.240
This is now smelling hot, this car.
21:39.080 --> 21:45.000
I can smell Jeremy's
Range Rover from back here -
it smells of imminent failure.
21:45.000 --> 21:46.080
'I was right.'
21:49.080 --> 21:52.000
Range Rover's just stopped working.
21:57.440 --> 22:01.440
That honestly wasn't
very funny three series ago
and it's not funny now.
22:01.440 --> 22:05.760
I'm not doing it on purpose.
No, I haven't got any brakes.
That's how I stop.
22:08.400 --> 22:13.080
Oh, no. Oh... No.
James, it's over-heated.
22:13.080 --> 22:14.880
What a rotten bit of luck.
22:14.880 --> 22:17.400
Missing! Broken!
22:17.400 --> 22:22.520
Your fault, because I have been
forging a path through this stuff.
22:22.520 --> 22:26.520
Bamboo has gone into it
and broken my fan and now
my engine's overheating.
22:26.520 --> 22:30.640
The plucky Brit has wounded itself
helping you out.
22:30.640 --> 22:34.760
Your plucky British car has been
defeated by... What was it? Bamboo?
22:34.760 --> 22:40.680
How did it get in there? What kind
of design is it if a piece of bamboo
can get in there and break the fan?
22:40.680 --> 22:42.200
Bamboo?!
22:42.200 --> 22:45.040
Without this,
would you still be on the boat?
22:45.040 --> 22:48.040
Yes, you would. Yes. You would still
be on the river-bank.
22:48.040 --> 22:50.080
This is the hero of the day.
22:50.080 --> 22:56.240
We passed the time by bickering
until the engine had cooled down.
22:56.240 --> 22:59.160
I love the V8 rumble. Nice.
22:59.160 --> 23:00.840
It's very mighty.
23:00.840 --> 23:03.400
ENGINE STARTS
23:04.320 --> 23:05.400
Yes!
23:05.400 --> 23:09.280
The mighty Spitfire is down,
but not out.
23:12.080 --> 23:14.600
'We battled on through
the undergrowth.'
23:16.680 --> 23:18.360
There, that's a gear.
23:30.200 --> 23:32.680
We did that
without breaking anything.
23:32.680 --> 23:34.880
Whoa!
23:40.240 --> 23:43.360
'Eventually, Hammond
and May stopped.'
23:44.840 --> 23:46.600
Sorry!
23:46.600 --> 23:50.120
Because we had reached
a small gully.
23:50.120 --> 23:51.680
That's pretty steep.
23:51.680 --> 23:52.720
What?!
23:52.720 --> 23:57.120
That's a bit of a gully, I think
they call it. I'm just going to
drive down and out the other side.
23:57.120 --> 23:58.520
No. You can't.
23:58.520 --> 24:01.520
What is the biggest strength
with the Range Rover?
24:01.520 --> 24:04.760
The wheel hits the bottom
before the front of the car.
24:04.760 --> 24:07.720
If you look at a Porsche Cayenne
or your car,
24:07.720 --> 24:10.240
there's about 18 feet of car
in front of the wheels.
24:10.240 --> 24:12.760
This car cannot do that.
It won't make...
24:12.760 --> 24:15.960
I'm going down. You two, stand back.
24:15.960 --> 24:18.000
Watch and learn.
24:18.000 --> 24:22.080
If you believe something
will happen, it will happen.
24:22.080 --> 24:24.840
Low range. That was reverse.
24:24.840 --> 24:26.360
Pointless handbrake off.
24:35.080 --> 24:36.440
Oh, Lord.
24:36.440 --> 24:38.680
Oh, brilliant.
24:38.680 --> 24:40.640
Yeah, so you're now stuck in a whole.
24:40.640 --> 24:43.520
Just lock the diffs. Just...
24:43.520 --> 24:48.200
You great, dozy,
woolly-haired pillock.
24:48.200 --> 24:51.000
It needs to be winched out.
I knew that a while back.
24:51.000 --> 24:54.080
'I fired up the winch on my Suzuki.'
24:54.080 --> 24:57.480
James, winch me up.
24:57.480 --> 24:59.920
Is it moving?
24:59.920 --> 25:02.480
It's coming. It's trying hard.
25:02.480 --> 25:04.520
Come on.
25:04.520 --> 25:07.760
It is coming free.
25:07.760 --> 25:11.920
Uh, guys? Oh, my God. Uh, James.
It won't stop.
25:15.120 --> 25:16.560
That didn't work.
25:16.560 --> 25:20.760
Go on, then. Drive it out.
It won't drive out. It just won't.
25:20.760 --> 25:23.640
'Mystic Hammond was right.'
25:31.040 --> 25:33.240
That nearly worked.
25:33.240 --> 25:36.120
'At last, my Toyota
could regain some dignity.
25:36.120 --> 25:40.120
'First pulling out the Suzuki
and then the idiot's Range Rover.'
25:42.920 --> 25:46.160
Whoa! I'm hanging.
25:51.520 --> 25:55.960
Look at my little donkey
pulling the Range Rover out.
25:56.800 --> 26:00.520
'We realised we'd have
to build a bridge,
26:00.520 --> 26:03.840
'which made one of us very excited.'
26:03.840 --> 26:05.840
I am the god of hellfire.
26:05.840 --> 26:07.560
Has he got a chainsaw?
26:07.560 --> 26:08.920
CHAINSAW STARTS
26:08.920 --> 26:10.520
Oh, yes!
26:10.520 --> 26:11.600
Oh, God!
26:18.600 --> 26:22.240
'We set about building our bridge.
26:27.320 --> 26:33.440
'And since James had the lightest
car, Jeremy and I decided
he should go first.'
26:33.440 --> 26:39.160
I declare this ready, steady,
strong. Get in your car
and drive over.
26:43.320 --> 26:44.960
Left!
26:44.960 --> 26:49.720
Looks like your back wheels
are beautiful, actually.
26:49.720 --> 26:51.600
I think you're about right
from this side.
26:51.600 --> 26:55.720
'What James really needed at this
point was clear instructions
from us two.'
26:55.720 --> 26:59.080
If anything, a little bit left.
Little bit left, James.
26:59.080 --> 27:01.480
I'm sorry. On this side,
I would say, not left.
27:01.480 --> 27:03.520
Left or right?
27:03.520 --> 27:07.320
James, what I'd do
at this point is power.
27:07.320 --> 27:09.200
Maximum power.
27:09.200 --> 27:12.840
You're going to need to engage...
There you go. There you go.
27:12.840 --> 27:16.360
ENGINE REVS
27:16.360 --> 27:18.040
Now, we're talking.
27:18.040 --> 27:22.240
'Eventually, the three-wheel drive
Suzuki made it.
27:22.240 --> 27:27.480
'So then, as night fell,
it was Jeremy's turn,
27:27.480 --> 27:31.520
'in the much heavier
and much wider Range Rover.'
27:31.520 --> 27:33.720
Whoa!
27:33.720 --> 27:38.480
Left hand down. Think of it as going
on the outer log on this side.
27:38.480 --> 27:42.040
It's not looking good
from where I am. No, I imagine not.
27:42.040 --> 27:44.200
I can't see the back wheel.
27:44.200 --> 27:48.000
It's all right. Keep going...I think.
27:48.000 --> 27:49.720
You're about to touch down.
27:54.760 --> 27:57.920
Nice work! Oh.
27:57.920 --> 28:00.840
God almighty, that was scary.
28:00.840 --> 28:05.320
'As I lined up, it was almost
completely dark.'
28:05.320 --> 28:08.680
Hammond, I'm afraid,
we simply can't see anything.
28:08.680 --> 28:10.040
We don't know.
28:10.040 --> 28:13.240
Left a bit.
This is quite frightening.
28:13.240 --> 28:15.080
Stop.
28:15.080 --> 28:17.720
Oh, I've got no brakes!
28:17.720 --> 28:19.200
Hang on. Hang on.
28:19.200 --> 28:20.560
Come on.
28:24.920 --> 28:28.200
Right, you've got the front wheels
on, mate.
28:28.200 --> 28:30.640
Make it so. Let's see
if it can make this verge.
28:30.640 --> 28:32.160
Lovely.
28:32.160 --> 28:36.240
Oh, that feels good. Ha!
28:38.480 --> 28:43.760
'We drove on through the night
with the charms of the rainforest
starting to wear quite thin.'
28:43.760 --> 28:47.040
It is extraordinary
if you think about it.
28:47.040 --> 28:51.160
In South America, there are
no elephants, kangaroos,
28:51.160 --> 28:54.360
lions, hyenas, honey badgers.
28:54.360 --> 28:58.320
There's nothing interesting at all.
It's all just insects designed
28:58.320 --> 29:04.000
to make you have a debilitating,
agonising death.
29:04.000 --> 29:06.960
I'd love to know
how hot this engine is.
29:06.960 --> 29:09.000
Very is what I'm thinking.
29:09.000 --> 29:14.040
'So when we made camp that night,
29:14.040 --> 29:16.360
'I decided to cut
some vents in the bonnet.'
29:22.600 --> 29:25.240
Jeremy, my car's on fire.
Well, put beer on it.
29:25.240 --> 29:29.560
There's a fire extinguisher
in the car.
29:29.560 --> 29:32.360
You set my car on fire.
I haven't got my glasses.
29:32.360 --> 29:35.920
Pull the bloody pin out.
You burned my Toyota!
29:35.920 --> 29:38.160
Thank you. Yeah.
29:45.400 --> 29:49.000
Right, day three... Four!
29:56.240 --> 30:00.960
Uh, it clings.
30:00.960 --> 30:03.400
OK.
30:04.920 --> 30:09.760
Ladies and gentlemen, David Lee Roth
in the morning. Here he is.
30:09.760 --> 30:11.840
James?
30:15.120 --> 30:18.480
What we've done... Don't do that.
30:18.480 --> 30:21.920
What we've done is accidentally
camped on a road.
30:21.920 --> 30:23.760
Who's this bloke on a bike?
30:23.760 --> 30:27.560
Morning. Morning.
30:27.560 --> 30:31.840
He's going to work
and we're camping on the A1.
30:35.760 --> 30:37.920
Yup.
30:44.440 --> 30:48.960
I can't remember if I took
my malaria pill this morning.
30:48.960 --> 30:52.480
If I were a girl,
I'd be pregnant a lot.
30:52.920 --> 30:57.600
If you're watching this in
smellovision, I apologise because
the smell in here is disgusting.
30:57.600 --> 30:58.720
It's me.
30:58.720 --> 31:01.800
I absolutely reek!
31:01.800 --> 31:05.400
Luckily, we then got a shower.
31:09.760 --> 31:12.760
Well, one of us did.
31:12.760 --> 31:19.840
Hammond? Yes. How wet
are you getting in this rain?
31:19.840 --> 31:21.880
It's not bad, actually.
31:21.880 --> 31:25.280
It's quite a lot wetter here.
31:25.280 --> 31:28.440
How can the rain be heavier there
that it is over here?
31:30.680 --> 31:32.280
That's a river.
31:34.000 --> 31:38.480
'It was indeed a river and one that
we'd have to cross
31:38.480 --> 31:44.120
'which meant that we'd have to use
stuff from the Ann Summers chest
to waterproof our cars.'
31:44.120 --> 31:48.680
Right. These are condoms. Do you two
need some time to yourselves?
31:50.000 --> 31:54.360
Have you got those Tampax?
Wh... What?!
31:54.360 --> 31:57.160
What are you planning?
I'll tell you my big problem.
31:57.160 --> 32:00.120
It's my fuel filler cap.
If water gets in there...
32:00.120 --> 32:02.040
You're in a lot of trouble.
32:02.040 --> 32:03.720
If I put a Tampax in there,
32:03.720 --> 32:06.760
it will expand width-ways
and I've seen the adverts.
32:06.760 --> 32:09.880
I'll be able to go roller-blading
with a poodle
32:09.880 --> 32:13.080
or drive a Range Rover through
a river in the Amazon delta.
32:13.080 --> 32:18.360
James was suspiciously skilful
with the Vaseline and the condoms.
32:18.360 --> 32:21.800
And soon, we were ready
to enter the river.
32:23.840 --> 32:26.880
HE HUMS
32:30.640 --> 32:36.120
Now, do I follow in Hammond's
wheel-marks on the basis that we
know how deep it is,
32:36.120 --> 32:41.400
or do I think, "He's an incompetent
fool and go somewhere else?"
32:41.400 --> 32:46.000
'As it turned out,
I was an incompetent fool.'
32:46.000 --> 32:47.840
That's looking DEEP!
32:47.840 --> 32:50.920
Oh-ho!
32:50.920 --> 32:53.320
Please, keep going.
Little donkey, swim!
32:53.320 --> 32:58.000
Swim, swim. There you go.
32:58.000 --> 33:02.200
This is when, suddenly, the
Land Cruiser comes into its own.
33:02.200 --> 33:05.960
Yeah, there's maybe more comfortable
things that will get you there,
33:05.960 --> 33:08.680
but the Land Cruiser
will always get you home.
33:08.680 --> 33:10.520
Meanwhile...
33:10.520 --> 33:13.360
It's stopped!
33:13.360 --> 33:16.840
Aah! Water's coming in to my car.
33:16.840 --> 33:20.720
'This caused problems for James.'
33:20.720 --> 33:23.920
You're going to have to go
round the outside.
33:23.920 --> 33:27.840
Straight ahead there. I'll tell you
when to go right hand down.
33:27.840 --> 33:29.760
Good. There.
33:31.800 --> 33:34.000
Oh, God!
33:34.000 --> 33:36.160
Cock!
33:36.160 --> 33:39.160
Good, good. That's two. OK.
33:39.160 --> 33:42.520
Why did I listen to you,
you imbecile!
33:42.520 --> 33:48.800
'Rather than accept another winch
from the Toyota, the Range Rover
decided to start on its own.'
33:48.800 --> 33:52.240
ENGINE STARTS
33:52.240 --> 33:53.280
Ha-ha!
33:53.280 --> 33:59.840
'Thus removing the obstacle
James had been trying to avoid
when he got stuck.'
33:59.840 --> 34:02.280
As far as I can work out,
he's dragging it even deeper.
34:02.280 --> 34:05.160
HE LAUGHS
34:05.160 --> 34:06.640
Hoi, it's floating.
34:08.639 --> 34:11.320
There's a lot of bubbles came out
of your petrol-filler cap.
34:11.320 --> 34:13.679
That's air. But they've been
replaced with water.
34:13.679 --> 34:17.880
'This whole episode
made James very angry.'
34:17.880 --> 34:20.920
If you hadn't tried to be clever and
if your car wasn't so unreliable,
34:20.920 --> 34:26.239
I wouldn't have had to go round
the outside in my small off-roader
and I wouldn't have sunk.
34:26.239 --> 34:29.880
Unreliable?! It stalled! It stalled!
It started again.
34:29.880 --> 34:32.120
Mine will start again.
34:34.000 --> 34:36.880
The rainforest
is just getting worse.
34:36.880 --> 34:42.560
I'll tell you something, if you look
over there, would you not think
it's getting thinner?
34:48.600 --> 34:54.400
'It was and soon, our battered cars
emerged from the trees.
34:54.400 --> 35:00.720
'At last, we were out of the
spider-infested sweatbox.
35:00.720 --> 35:08.040
'But ten minutes later,
James and Richard wished
they were back in it.'
35:11.920 --> 35:13.200
Oh, God!
35:17.680 --> 35:19.440
Stop it!
35:21.320 --> 35:26.040
Just answer me this simple question,
how comfortable are you two
right now?
35:27.440 --> 35:34.160
It's like a big, feather mattress.
I really am...relaxing. Yeah.
35:35.800 --> 35:38.040
Oh, Jesus!
35:38.040 --> 35:42.960
Have I broken James' spine? There
will be two Ted Nugents in a minute.
35:44.360 --> 35:49.960
Oh, I'm so sick of that noise!
Stop rattling at me!
35:52.440 --> 35:55.880
# Oh, Grace, you're getting away
with it
35:55.880 --> 35:59.640
# Words but nothing to say with it
35:59.640 --> 36:02.800
# Smile and take what you need
36:02.800 --> 36:05.800
# In any way that you please
36:05.800 --> 36:10.080
# Grace, you're getting away
with it... #
36:18.640 --> 36:22.680
We spent the night in a town where
there were baths and bedrooms
36:22.680 --> 36:25.120
and then we hit the road once more.
36:27.840 --> 36:30.720
Oh, here we are.
This is cocaine country.
36:30.720 --> 36:33.800
Kate Moss's delicatessen.
36:36.400 --> 36:39.160
Obviously we can't drive
through this region
36:39.160 --> 36:43.760
without registering our disgust
at the violent, reprehensible
drugs trade
36:43.760 --> 36:46.240
that brings misery
to so many millions.
36:53.680 --> 36:57.240
May, have you seen what Hammond
has written on his car?
36:57.240 --> 37:00.600
Yeah, I don't think he's understood
what we're trying to do here.
37:00.600 --> 37:05.000
Hammond, are you feeling
ashamed of yourself?
37:05.000 --> 37:10.960
There was an opportunity and I took
it. But what about the untold
misery to millions?
37:10.960 --> 37:15.040
"Untold misery to millions"?
Are the ratings really that good?
37:15.040 --> 37:16.480
Ha ha ha.
37:19.280 --> 37:25.240
As we left town, we started
to climb and that was a problem
for the Range Rover.
37:25.240 --> 37:30.360
Every time we go up any form of
gradient, for any period of time,
37:30.360 --> 37:36.280
the engine gets very, very warm.
Still nothing's working
apart from the demist.
37:36.280 --> 37:41.400
'Soon the engine became so hot,
I had to get radical.'
37:41.400 --> 37:45.600
The scope of my engineering genius,
literally, knows no bounds.
37:45.600 --> 37:49.720
Because, as you can see,
the vents I cut in the bonnet
37:49.720 --> 37:51.520
are now windows.
37:51.520 --> 37:56.640
So I can see where I'm going,
the engine is cool. All is well.
38:00.960 --> 38:04.600
Sooner or later,
Jeremy has to admit that the
Range Rover isn't working properly.
38:04.600 --> 38:12.560
We were only 110 miles from La Paz,
but between us and it was
the Camino Del Muerte -
38:12.560 --> 38:17.080
the death road - the most
dangerous highway in the world.
38:20.200 --> 38:25.160
Over the years, the sheer,
unguarded drops have claimed
hundreds of lives.
38:26.640 --> 38:32.440
And to make matters worse, Captain
Terrified-of-heights didn't really
have the car for the job.
38:32.440 --> 38:34.280
James? Yes.
38:34.280 --> 38:38.360
I don't know about the rear
suspension design on a Suzuki.
38:38.360 --> 38:42.360
The shock absorber is traditionally
attached at both ends.
That's not absorbing shocks.
38:42.360 --> 38:44.360
It's bouncing around on the spring.
38:44.360 --> 38:47.880
That does affect your control quite
badly - not having a shock absorber.
38:47.880 --> 38:51.480
I'm glad you said that up here,
Hammond, on my favourite road.
38:51.480 --> 38:53.320
Hang on, before you go. What?
38:53.320 --> 38:58.840
I genuinely don't like heights.
It's my biggest failing,
among many - I accept.
38:58.840 --> 39:03.120
You know the, you drive
into the back of my car
and it's very funny, joke?
39:03.120 --> 39:06.120
Oh, you want me to drive into him?
39:06.120 --> 39:10.840
I'll cut your BLEEP head off. You
will need a beep there, BBC Two.
39:10.840 --> 39:12.400
I can understand that.
39:16.760 --> 39:21.640
Uh, my car is perfect in every way,
apart from it not starting.
39:21.640 --> 39:27.520
So could you, if you wouldn't mind,
push me?
39:27.520 --> 39:32.800
So you want me to push your car with
my car, now, on this road here? Yes.
39:32.800 --> 39:34.960
There's no alternative.
39:34.960 --> 39:36.120
OK, here I come.
39:36.120 --> 39:37.400
Careful, careful.
39:37.400 --> 39:38.800
BUMPER CRUNCHES
39:38.800 --> 39:41.080
I wasn't as careful as I could have
been. Sorry.
39:41.080 --> 39:43.680
HE SNIGGERS
39:46.960 --> 39:51.480
Pretty soon, we saw why the road
had earned its name.
39:55.400 --> 39:58.400
God almighty, that is high!
40:05.920 --> 40:08.680
That is a massive, massive drop!
40:16.520 --> 40:18.240
This is insane.
40:20.560 --> 40:21.720
Whoa!
40:21.720 --> 40:26.520
The grasses stick up
and you don't necessarily see what
a long way down it is,
40:26.520 --> 40:28.960
then you get one of those gaps...
40:28.960 --> 40:31.680
..and you see down
and it is a long way.
40:31.680 --> 40:34.400
There's one there.
40:35.960 --> 40:38.960
'The dust didn't help either.'
40:38.960 --> 40:42.040
Oh, gee. Look at that.
That's narrow.
40:42.040 --> 40:45.440
HORN TOOTS
40:51.800 --> 40:54.560
I don't understand the rules
on this road.
40:54.560 --> 40:58.000
You seem to drive one minute on the
left and one minute on the right.
40:58.000 --> 41:02.680
Sometimes the lorry stops to let you
go through. Sometimes they don't.
41:02.680 --> 41:08.520
Some lorries pull over, others come
barrelling up behind you doing three
and a half times the speed of sound.
41:08.520 --> 41:10.080
It's completely baffling.
41:10.080 --> 41:12.760
Thank you.
41:15.920 --> 41:19.760
I'm coming up against the truck.
I've got to go past him
41:19.760 --> 41:24.480
and that means going on that side.
41:28.160 --> 41:29.960
Looking straight ahead.
41:29.960 --> 41:33.600
Breathe.
41:33.600 --> 41:37.800
Moments later, James slowed down
to let a mad local get past.
41:37.800 --> 41:39.440
HORN TOOTS
41:39.440 --> 41:42.280
Does that mean there's one of those
maniacal taxi drivers?
41:42.280 --> 41:44.000
..and I didn't.
41:44.000 --> 41:45.360
Oh, God!
41:45.360 --> 41:48.720
BUMPERS CRUNCH
41:50.920 --> 41:55.920
Sorry, I was watching the taxi.
You're now going to get macheted
to death.
41:55.920 --> 41:59.200
I was watching the taxi! I don't
care. Did I or did I not warn you?
41:59.200 --> 42:03.120
James is killing Jeremy,
but things are going well.
42:03.120 --> 42:07.320
I was watching the taxi. You
weren't. I was watching the taxi.
42:07.320 --> 42:11.200
Did your co-presenter just attack
you with a machete? Yes, he did.
42:11.200 --> 42:16.320
He was quite cross cos I ran into
him. That doesn't happen on clothes
programmes or gardening shows.
42:21.720 --> 42:28.120
'As we climbed higher, life
in the already battered Toyota
became truly terrifying.'
42:28.120 --> 42:31.680
That's my steering.
I'm inches from death, there.
42:31.680 --> 42:34.160
The steering wheel
doesn't do anything.
42:34.160 --> 42:37.040
My brakes stick when I'm going uphill
so the clutch slips.
42:39.520 --> 42:41.920
I can't breathe
because the dust gets in.
42:41.920 --> 42:44.760
Oh, God! That's real fear now.
42:44.760 --> 42:48.920
Going downhill, the same brakes that
stick on going uphill, don't stop me.
42:48.920 --> 42:50.560
Ugh!
42:52.560 --> 42:55.040
'The Suzuki too
was showing the strain.'
42:55.040 --> 42:57.480
BLEEP.
42:57.480 --> 42:59.640
HE GROWLS
42:59.640 --> 43:04.880
What is the matter? It's got dirt
in the fuel system from the river.
43:04.880 --> 43:08.920
So it's broken? It's not broken.
Occasionally, a bit of
it goes through.
43:08.920 --> 43:10.920
Your simple, cheap car is broken.
43:10.920 --> 43:17.320
'Sticking to the code of the
Top Gear brotherhood, I left James
and Richard behind.'
43:19.320 --> 43:23.320
It just goes to show they are
badly-made these Japanese cars.
They're badly-made.
43:25.920 --> 43:28.600
'James and I decided
to stick together.'
43:28.600 --> 43:34.400
He's never going to go round us.
My God, he is.
43:34.400 --> 43:36.560
That's insane.
43:43.360 --> 43:46.000
Right. I'm in a ditch.
43:47.680 --> 43:49.920
OK.
43:49.920 --> 43:52.520
I didn't see this.
43:52.520 --> 43:54.400
Whoa-ho! What a thing to miss.
43:54.400 --> 43:55.720
Right.
43:55.720 --> 43:59.960
'No biggie, though, because
my colleague would winch me out
in a jiffy.'
43:59.960 --> 44:04.400
Hold on. What?
The winch isn't working.
44:11.920 --> 44:18.240
I'm now all on my own on Death Road.
I have no idea where Ray Mears
and Ted Nugent are.
44:18.240 --> 44:21.640
They've just disappeared. We have
no phones. They're not on the radio.
44:21.640 --> 44:23.320
They could be dead.
44:25.480 --> 44:31.800
'We would, in fact, be dead quite
soon, judging by the mood
of the angry, stuck locals.'
44:31.800 --> 44:35.000
Good luck. Thank you.
Handbrake off etc.
44:38.760 --> 44:42.560
The ditch is going to level out
so it'll be fine. There you go.
44:42.560 --> 44:43.840
What a nice man.
44:43.840 --> 44:51.120
'Soon, though, I wished I'd stayed
in the ditch because the Toyota
developed yet another fault.'
44:51.120 --> 44:56.120
Something's broken
on that back corner.
44:56.120 --> 45:00.160
This is pretty close
to unbearable now.
45:01.160 --> 45:02.800
Christ!
45:02.800 --> 45:06.440
Meanwhile, very far ahead...
45:06.440 --> 45:10.400
I'm now 5,500 feet above sea level
and still climbing.
45:11.600 --> 45:13.920
Oh, God, crosses.
45:16.560 --> 45:18.000
A lot of crosses there.
45:18.000 --> 45:23.600
And then, underneath a waterfall,
I learned why there were so many
crosses up here.
45:31.560 --> 45:32.600
Oh, my God.
45:32.600 --> 45:35.000
No.
45:35.000 --> 45:37.640
Oh, my...
45:37.640 --> 45:39.160
Stop there!
45:57.880 --> 46:00.720
That is going. That is going.
46:12.800 --> 46:15.360
CREAKING
Bloody hell.
46:30.320 --> 46:32.040
We were still miles back.
46:32.040 --> 46:37.880
It was almost dark and,
worse still, James' alternator
wasn't charging the battery.
46:37.880 --> 46:43.080
How much is running your car with
headlights on going to shorten
the life of the battery
46:43.080 --> 46:44.800
and then kill the engine?
46:44.800 --> 46:46.920
I don't know exactly,
but by quite a bit.
46:46.920 --> 46:50.280
They're already getting a bit dim,
to be honest.
46:50.280 --> 46:52.040
God, this is murder.
46:52.040 --> 46:54.800
Pretty soon, the inevitable happened.
46:56.200 --> 47:00.120
My car is now dead
and without a new battery.
47:00.120 --> 47:05.160
'Since the alternator was one of
the few things working on the Toyota,
47:05.160 --> 47:08.120
'I swapped my live battery
for James' dead one.'
47:08.120 --> 47:11.400
I think it was good of me to donate
my battery. Yes, it was.
47:11.400 --> 47:14.760
Yes, it was. This time, we're not
going to run with your lights off.
47:14.760 --> 47:17.240
No, OK. We'll use the torches.
47:17.240 --> 47:18.920
Hang on a minute.
47:23.680 --> 47:27.880
OK, I've waited till nightfall here
at the summit of the death road.
47:27.880 --> 47:31.320
My colleagues aren't here,
which means they must be dead.
47:31.320 --> 47:34.520
I've therefore made them these
rather touching memorials.
47:39.960 --> 47:41.520
With the torches fitted,
47:41.520 --> 47:44.080
this was my view of Death Road.
47:47.960 --> 47:52.080
Hammond, I want to say
something to you that
I wouldn't say at any other time.
47:52.080 --> 47:53.480
'What?'
47:53.480 --> 47:55.960
Please don't leave me.
47:55.960 --> 48:00.280
Oh, God, those words will stay with
me. I'll struggle to get over that.
No, I won't.
48:14.880 --> 48:18.360
The next morning,
we were all reunited in La Paz,
48:18.360 --> 48:22.520
the world's highest
and worst capital city.
48:22.520 --> 48:24.800
But as we waited for
our next instructions,
48:24.800 --> 48:27.160
the mood was frosty.
48:27.160 --> 48:29.360
Are you ready? No.
48:29.360 --> 48:32.280
La Paz... I still haven't actually
forgiven you as such.
48:32.280 --> 48:38.040
It's not like we're being all matey
now and have forgotten you abandoned
us to die, just so you know.
48:38.040 --> 48:40.400
I couldn't go back to the hotel,
eat steak, have a beer,
48:40.400 --> 48:44.800
and go to bed feeling good
if I'd just left my mates...
I had to go to bed.
48:44.800 --> 48:47.880
Then tell your mates the steak
wasn't very good.
48:47.880 --> 48:49.760
I thought you were dead.
48:49.760 --> 48:53.600
I had a simple ceremony up there
for you. Then what did you do?
You went on.
48:53.600 --> 48:55.280
I said kind words about you.
48:55.280 --> 48:59.760
What are we doing? Come on. "Between
La Paz and the Pacific Ocean,
48:59.760 --> 49:05.160
"there is the Altiplano where the
altitude will cause you to have
a pulmonary oedema.
49:05.160 --> 49:08.520
"Then there's the Andes where you'll
have a cerebral oedema.
49:08.520 --> 49:13.120
"And then the Atacama which is
50 times drier than Death Valley.
49:13.120 --> 49:16.560
"It has never rained.
It's the driest place on Earth
49:16.560 --> 49:20.800
"and there is no life,
not even bacteria."
49:24.240 --> 49:27.480
Given that our lungs and brains
would explode in the deserts
49:27.480 --> 49:30.200
and mountains that lay between us
and the Pacific,
49:30.200 --> 49:33.040
we decided to modify our cars a bit.
49:33.040 --> 49:37.520
So it was time to find a workshop
and cue the music.
49:37.520 --> 49:41.120
# Theme to "A Team"
49:41.120 --> 49:43.440
Have you got "Spider In Car"
for Hammond?
49:43.440 --> 49:45.680
You can't see through the window!
49:45.680 --> 49:46.720
Stick to hammers.
49:46.720 --> 49:49.840
That's the precision tool board.
The hammer lives elsewhere.
49:57.800 --> 50:02.840
The next day, we left La Paz
well prepared for the trials
that lay ahead.
50:02.840 --> 50:06.960
So, I've lifted the Land Cruiser,
obviously. Very simple.
50:06.960 --> 50:10.600
Gives me room for the bigger, wider
tyres I need for the desert sand.
50:10.600 --> 50:13.080
Roll cage for safety, obviously.
50:13.080 --> 50:16.160
Then to get rid of some of
the weight, I've lost the doors
50:16.160 --> 50:21.160
because they were very heavy,
and the roof and anything else
I didn't need.
50:21.160 --> 50:27.720
What I've done to prepare for
the desert is team a rather
fetching hooded cardigan
50:27.720 --> 50:31.800
with some old combat trousers
and some big wheels on my car.
50:34.600 --> 50:37.160
Wow, James has been busy.
50:37.160 --> 50:38.800
Woo, yes.
50:38.800 --> 50:41.080
You've modified that, mate.
50:41.080 --> 50:45.200
As you can see, what I've done with
my car is mended it.
50:48.640 --> 50:52.480
The modifying brothers were very
pleased with their results.
50:52.480 --> 50:54.800
Yeah! Ah!
50:54.800 --> 50:58.040
I'm liking this. Loving this!
50:58.040 --> 51:01.080
But after a few miles,
the smiles had gone.
51:01.080 --> 51:05.000
Hammond, I've made my car worse.
51:05.000 --> 51:10.400
How? It won't ride properly
and the tyres are catching
on the wheel arches.
51:10.400 --> 51:12.840
It's got no power any more.
51:12.840 --> 51:14.120
Oh, God.
51:14.120 --> 51:17.680
I am having to work my engine
quite hard.
51:17.680 --> 51:21.560
The problem is, you put bigger wheels
on, it has the effect of
gearing it up.
51:21.560 --> 51:25.680
First gear is like starting in
third...it's hard work.
51:25.680 --> 51:29.000
The long and the short of it,
I've rather ruined it.
51:29.000 --> 51:32.000
James has just overtaken me
in his 1 oz box.
51:32.000 --> 51:34.280
RICHARD LAUGHS
51:34.280 --> 51:38.240
That face is smug, I don't like it.
51:40.080 --> 51:43.120
Because I'd made my car better,
51:43.120 --> 51:45.960
as we climbed onto the Altiplano,
51:45.960 --> 51:48.800
I could relax and enjoy
the backdrop.
51:48.800 --> 51:50.360
Look at that sky.
51:50.360 --> 51:53.400
That's one of the best skies
I've seen for a very long time.
52:01.080 --> 52:06.600
James, does it get hotter or colder
when you're at altitude?
I've forgotten.
52:06.600 --> 52:11.480
I'm pretty sure it gets much hotter.
No, no, hang on. Colder.
52:11.480 --> 52:17.160
There's only one way we can
accurately determine the temperature
and that's by asking our colleague.
52:17.160 --> 52:20.320
I know what you're thinking,
I'm fine.
52:24.520 --> 52:27.640
As darkness fell, we pulled into
a petrol station.
52:27.640 --> 52:32.480
In the shop, we found a bit more
than Kit Kats and pies.
52:32.480 --> 52:37.880
Wait a minute. Caramelised cocaine.
That's something you don't see in
every motorway service station.
52:37.880 --> 52:41.400
Wow. You take it and then
you talk for hours.
52:41.400 --> 52:43.040
Let's have that.
52:43.040 --> 52:48.040
In fact, the sweet is made
from coca leaves which are legal
and used by locals
52:48.040 --> 52:51.040
to ward off the effects
of altitude sickness.
52:51.040 --> 52:53.840
Hammond found them very moreish.
52:53.840 --> 52:57.640
They're nice, they're caramelised.
I've had about six.
52:57.640 --> 53:00.640
Luckily, this had no effect at all.
53:00.640 --> 53:05.360
..all the camping gear,
then when you got there,
this was before the M5,
53:05.360 --> 53:10.120
there was like a high bit
and a low bit and we used to say,
"Is this the high/low bit?"
53:10.120 --> 53:15.080
And Mum and Dad would say, "Yeah".
And then we knew how far
it was to Weston.
53:15.080 --> 53:19.200
I always thought
Bristol was a bit scruffy,
but actually it's quite nice...
53:23.320 --> 53:28.960
The next morning, we woke
on the staggeringly beautiful
Bolivian high plains.
53:33.600 --> 53:37.520
We couldn't see this in the dark
but it's absolutely breathtaking.
53:37.520 --> 53:41.200
Look at it. It's took my breath
away. There's no breath
to take away.
53:41.200 --> 53:43.920
We're at 14,000 feet
according to the gizmo.
53:43.920 --> 53:49.760
14,000? 14,006 feet. What's that?
This measures your sats.
53:49.760 --> 53:53.360
On Casualty, they always do this.
They put one of these on
their finger,
53:53.360 --> 53:57.760
and it's something to do with how
much oxygen there is in
your red blood cells.
53:57.760 --> 54:02.880
If it's less than 98 or 99,
you've had it.
54:02.880 --> 54:05.520
And Tina Hobley comes. What's yours?
54:05.520 --> 54:07.880
87. That's less. Much less.
54:07.880 --> 54:10.400
Where's Tina Hobley, then?
Just try yours.
54:10.400 --> 54:12.040
I bet you can't go less than 87.
54:12.040 --> 54:13.800
That's how ill I am.
54:13.800 --> 54:18.320
89. 89? You're nearly dead.
54:18.320 --> 54:19.880
I AM dead.
54:19.880 --> 54:24.280
88, I'm not much better. If you went
into a doctor's surgery in England,
54:24.280 --> 54:29.720
with sats of 88,
they'd put you in hospital. 84.
54:29.720 --> 54:33.600
In fact, the only thing
in a dodgier state than me
54:33.600 --> 54:35.360
were the modifications on my car.
54:35.360 --> 54:38.240
What's happened? I've broken
my front right spring.
54:38.240 --> 54:41.280
Completely clean. Sheared it
off both ends. You're joking?
54:41.280 --> 54:44.160
Bloody hellfire.
54:44.160 --> 54:46.680
So that is supposed
to be connected to that?
54:46.680 --> 54:49.160
Yep. It's snapped clean off.
54:51.480 --> 54:54.080
While trying to mend
the modified suspension,
54:54.080 --> 54:58.320
there was another problem.
Your prop shaft fell off.
54:58.320 --> 55:02.200
What? Your prop shaft just fell off.
55:02.200 --> 55:07.360
Since there was no AA to call, it
took us all morning to get it fixed.
55:07.360 --> 55:08.960
Ooh!
55:08.960 --> 55:11.280
But eventually, we were off.
55:18.160 --> 55:21.440
And apart from James driving
into a village well...
55:21.440 --> 55:24.920
Sorry... Leave it!
55:24.920 --> 55:28.680
..we made good progress
toward the Chilean border.
55:28.680 --> 55:31.920
I'm in a fantastic desert,
with my two mates.
55:31.920 --> 55:36.320
All the cars are working,
look at that, look at that.
55:36.320 --> 55:38.760
It's great. It's an adventure.
55:41.040 --> 55:44.680
And soon,
we reached a big milestone.
55:44.680 --> 55:46.960
One mile, James, and we've done it.
Bolivia.
55:46.960 --> 55:50.080
Let's roll in as a threesome.
55:50.080 --> 55:55.000
You look at these three, you'd never
believe they were still running!
55:55.000 --> 55:57.840
Most scrapyards would reject them.
55:57.840 --> 56:03.440
At the border post, we were given
the traditional welcome.
56:03.440 --> 56:07.520
My arse!
56:11.640 --> 56:17.600
I hope he doesn't find the tampons.
Or, rather worryingly, the Viagra.
56:21.800 --> 56:28.560
Drugs check over, we entered Chile,
where the scenery became
even more sensational.
56:34.120 --> 56:36.840
Those are flamingos,
they actually are flamingos.
56:36.840 --> 56:40.520
I've never seen them in the wild.
Wow.
56:40.520 --> 56:44.320
Unfortunately, we were still
climbing.
56:44.320 --> 56:48.040
Are you ready? 45 feet to go.
56:48.040 --> 56:50.880
30 feet to go.
56:50.880 --> 56:52.400
Here it comes.
56:52.400 --> 56:56.120
5, 4, 3... We're there!
56:56.120 --> 56:59.040
15,006 feet!
56:59.040 --> 57:04.120
Ha! We are now higher than
the highest peak in Europe
57:04.120 --> 57:07.120
and we're still driving.
57:08.760 --> 57:13.000
Soon, the altitude would become
a big issue.
57:18.760 --> 57:23.160
But the next day,
Hammond had an even bigger one.
57:23.160 --> 57:27.560
His clutch had gone. Oh, God.
57:27.560 --> 57:29.880
Oh, come on!
57:29.880 --> 57:33.080
It won't come out of gear.
57:33.080 --> 57:37.480
I'm trying to rock it
on the starter motor... Ah!
57:41.120 --> 57:42.440
There you go.
57:42.440 --> 57:46.320
We're away, into second,
match the road speed...
57:46.320 --> 57:48.000
Ooh! Hey-hey! There we go.
57:51.720 --> 57:56.040
We've just pulled over here
to wait for Hammond.
57:56.040 --> 57:58.960
Oh! Dust!
57:58.960 --> 58:00.080
Is that him?
58:00.080 --> 58:02.480
It is.
58:02.480 --> 58:04.720
It is. We're back as a three.
58:04.720 --> 58:07.880
Hammond!
58:07.880 --> 58:11.080
The donkey lives!
Oh, yeah! It lives on.
58:11.080 --> 58:15.080
At this point,
we had a decision to make.
58:15.080 --> 58:18.280
We can either go that way,
58:18.280 --> 58:21.040
which is very long,
58:21.040 --> 58:22.320
or we can go that way,
58:22.320 --> 58:23.520
which is short,
58:23.520 --> 58:26.320
but does mean driving over
an active volcano.
58:28.160 --> 58:29.360
Short.
58:29.360 --> 58:31.440
Volcano. Short. I agree.
58:31.440 --> 58:33.360
Short. Let's do it.
58:40.160 --> 58:44.960
As we climbed, the air became
thinner and thinner.
58:50.680 --> 58:52.000
15,400.
58:52.000 --> 58:54.840
And climbing.
58:54.840 --> 59:00.560
We are, definitely, the highest
motorists in the world.
59:00.560 --> 59:03.760
Apart from George Michael,
obviously.
59:03.760 --> 59:08.000
Hammond's really got to think ahead
with no clutch.
59:08.000 --> 59:11.960
He's gotta think ahead with
a brain starved of oxygen.
59:14.080 --> 59:19.160
What is frightening is when
I need to come to grab first
to get up a steep bit.
59:19.160 --> 59:20.800
Changing down is harder.
59:20.800 --> 59:24.840
You have to guess how high
the engine needs to be revving
and slot the gear lever in
59:24.840 --> 59:26.880
without a clutch.
59:29.960 --> 59:31.960
James too was having problems.
59:31.960 --> 59:33.520
JUDDERING AND GRATING
59:36.920 --> 59:40.560
Oh, God, chaps, my transfer
box is jammed.
59:42.280 --> 59:45.360
But these niggles were overshadowed
by the big one.
59:46.360 --> 59:49.760
Up at this altitude, this engine
is really struggling.
59:49.760 --> 59:53.080
For every litre of fuel vapour
it gets through,
59:53.080 --> 59:56.080
it needs 14 litres of air.
59:56.080 --> 59:57.520
And there isn't any.
59:57.520 --> 01:00:01.800
So, it's just like me...
HE GASPS
01:00:01.800 --> 01:00:05.160
That means it's so down on power.
01:00:05.160 --> 01:00:10.080
'Up here, James's car
had, at best, 20 horsepower.
01:00:10.080 --> 01:00:12.720
'And as we climbed higher,
01:00:12.720 --> 01:00:14.520
'we started to suffer as well.'
01:00:14.520 --> 01:00:18.240
The breathlessness now
is pretty acute.
01:00:19.200 --> 01:00:22.520
Just talking is...hard work.
01:00:24.160 --> 01:00:26.240
I'm starting to feel a bit...
01:00:26.240 --> 01:00:28.560
Jeez...no...I'm feeling really
01:00:28.560 --> 01:00:30.440
quite weird.
01:00:30.480 --> 01:00:36.880
'The terrain levelled out
so we pulled over to catch
what we could of our breath.'
01:00:36.880 --> 01:00:39.960
Do you feel sort of drunk
but it's not pleasant? Yeah.
01:00:39.960 --> 01:00:43.320
Exactly that. My whole head...
I've got room spin.
01:00:43.320 --> 01:00:46.400
'It was time for drastic action.'
01:00:46.400 --> 01:00:48.240
Cyanide? No.
01:00:48.240 --> 01:00:49.760
Viagra.
01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:51.960
Eh? Is this the time?
01:00:51.960 --> 01:00:56.000
Apparently, Viagra, for reasons
unknown to science
01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:58.160
stops you having an oedema
in your lung.
01:00:58.160 --> 01:01:03.480
I thought it was more the trouser
department it concentrated on.
That could be a side effect, yes.
01:01:03.480 --> 01:01:05.640
Down the hatch. Here we go.
01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:11.480
Doesn't work. Nothing's happening.
I can't swallow it.
01:01:11.480 --> 01:01:14.520
Nothing's happening.
I need a drink.
01:01:17.400 --> 01:01:20.880
I'm going to get a massive neck
if I don't get some of that.
01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:24.000
Apparently...that will
save our lives.
01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:26.440
THEY LAUGH
Oh, God.
01:01:26.440 --> 01:01:28.280
I've just taken Viagra!
01:01:28.280 --> 01:01:30.720
On top of the Andes.
CHUCKLING
01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:36.280
'Sadly, it didn't seem to have
any effect at all.'
01:01:38.200 --> 01:01:41.800
I'm getting a headache
and I'm feeling sick.
01:01:43.280 --> 01:01:45.360
Come on, come on.
01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:48.680
'The big question now was this -
01:01:48.680 --> 01:01:53.440
'which would give out first,
the cars or the men?'
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:54.480
Come on. Come on!
01:01:54.480 --> 01:01:55.720
Come on.
01:01:58.600 --> 01:02:00.760
Every gear change
is so critical now.
01:02:00.760 --> 01:02:03.920
I get tense about it,
that raises my heart.
01:02:03.920 --> 01:02:06.840
And then I need oxygen
all the more.
01:02:09.320 --> 01:02:12.800
Still there, Hammond? Yeah,
I'm still here. I have to go slow
01:02:12.800 --> 01:02:15.720
because I daren't risk changing up
to third. I won't make it.
01:02:15.720 --> 01:02:17.480
'OK, mate, we'll slow down.'
01:02:17.480 --> 01:02:20.720
We're a team up here.
Cos this isn't funny.
01:02:20.720 --> 01:02:23.680
God, Jeremy's talking
about being a team.
01:02:24.680 --> 01:02:26.960
Must be the altitude.
01:02:27.960 --> 01:02:30.720
'At 16,700 feet,
01:02:30.720 --> 01:02:33.240
'the Toyota broke down again.'
01:02:33.240 --> 01:02:35.600
ENGINE STALLS
01:02:35.600 --> 01:02:38.080
'I think my transfer box
has just gone.'
01:02:38.080 --> 01:02:40.480
'James and I stop to help.
01:02:40.480 --> 01:02:42.520
'And then we couldn't get going
again.'
01:02:45.320 --> 01:02:47.680
The engines just aren't getting
any air.
01:02:47.680 --> 01:02:49.240
At all.
01:02:49.240 --> 01:02:51.920
There's just no...er...
01:02:51.920 --> 01:02:53.680
James can't get his started.
01:02:53.680 --> 01:02:55.600
I can't get mine started.
01:02:56.960 --> 01:02:58.720
I haven't got any air to work.
01:03:01.640 --> 01:03:05.080
Once we get the Range Rover going,
that's the most likely to start,
01:03:05.080 --> 01:03:11.400
we can get
everything started. Right. Can we
move it? Three, two, heave!
01:03:11.400 --> 01:03:13.080
And go!
THEY STRAIN
01:03:13.080 --> 01:03:18.280
'Pushing a Range Rover at this
altitude damn near killed us,
01:03:18.280 --> 01:03:21.640
'but eventually the big beast fired
and once again,
01:03:21.640 --> 01:03:25.680
'the most unreliable car in the
world got the others going as well.'
01:03:32.200 --> 01:03:33.520
Oh, yeah.
01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:40.680
Bloody hell.
01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:42.960
My lips are now tingling.
01:03:46.200 --> 01:03:48.400
I get the feeling something's gotta
give soon.
01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:53.880
Jesus Christ, my head!
01:03:59.560 --> 01:04:02.960
'At 17,200 feet,
we pulled over - again.'
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:12.240
PANTING
01:04:22.080 --> 01:04:23.640
Hammond? Yeah.
01:04:26.520 --> 01:04:31.640
Even if...the cars could get over
that and I seriously doubt that,
I can't.
01:04:35.320 --> 01:04:37.560
Just pushing on's just stupid.
01:04:37.560 --> 01:04:40.720
Seriously, I'm calling it a day.
I think you could be right.
01:04:50.720 --> 01:04:55.360
'We really were in trouble. So, we
turned round and headed back down.
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:56.520
'Fast.'
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:06.680
16 two. Still feeling weird.
01:05:10.280 --> 01:05:11.600
HE COUGHS
01:05:13.360 --> 01:05:15.240
Breathing's better.
01:05:15.240 --> 01:05:16.680
With every foot...
01:05:16.680 --> 01:05:18.880
the engine's gonna run smoother.
01:05:18.880 --> 01:05:21.360
My body's gonna run smoother.
01:05:29.640 --> 01:05:34.240
'We then went the long way round
and finally, drunk on oxygen,
01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:37.960
'we made it to the other side
of the Andes.'
01:05:45.480 --> 01:05:47.000
DEEP BREATHING
01:05:49.440 --> 01:05:52.800
THEY INHALE NOISILY
Air!
01:05:52.800 --> 01:05:56.000
It's so...so underrated.
It's thick.
01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:58.800
It's like breathing soup.
01:05:58.800 --> 01:06:01.200
You can bite off pieces of it
and chew it.
01:06:01.200 --> 01:06:03.240
It's like lung nectar.
01:06:06.840 --> 01:06:10.640
There is just one small thing
that's occurred to me, chaps.
01:06:10.640 --> 01:06:11.720
What?
01:06:13.760 --> 01:06:15.640
Where the hell are we?
01:06:19.480 --> 01:06:22.000
We were in the Atacama Desert
01:06:22.000 --> 01:06:23.920
where there is no life at all.
01:06:23.920 --> 01:06:26.600
Not even on a cellular level.
01:06:26.600 --> 01:06:31.120
Richard Hammond was the smallest
living organism for miles.
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:35.320
There was nothing here at all.
01:06:35.320 --> 01:06:38.480
Except for one road.
01:06:40.280 --> 01:06:41.440
Oh, yes.
01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:45.520
The Pan-American Highway.
01:06:50.840 --> 01:06:52.160
Running is smooth.
01:06:53.840 --> 01:06:56.160
The view is spectacular.
01:06:56.160 --> 01:06:58.000
Temperature is low.
01:07:02.440 --> 01:07:05.520
'But the mad dash down the mountain
had been too much once again
01:07:05.520 --> 01:07:09.000
'for the modifications
on Hammond's Toyota.'
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:13.200
Better stop. Oh, God.
01:07:14.640 --> 01:07:16.200
Didn't sound good.
01:07:17.480 --> 01:07:20.160
You heard something? Oh, yeah!
01:07:20.160 --> 01:07:21.680
Oh, dear.
01:07:21.680 --> 01:07:25.080
I think, James, we can safely say
that what's happened there
01:07:25.080 --> 01:07:27.320
is my prop-shaft has fallen off.
01:07:27.320 --> 01:07:30.320
'And the prop-shaft
was only half of it.'
01:07:30.320 --> 01:07:31.800
BLEEP.
01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:34.000
What's broken? Diff.
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:36.840
It's shattered?
Absolutely exploded.
01:07:36.840 --> 01:07:41.160
Good God. I'm surprised
that didn't somersault the car.
01:07:42.920 --> 01:07:46.760
I've just heard on the radio that
Richard Hammond's Land Cruiser
01:07:46.760 --> 01:07:48.440
is in serious trouble.
01:07:49.440 --> 01:07:50.920
HE SPUTTERS
01:07:53.240 --> 01:07:57.720
'Happily, the Top Gear orang-utan
elected not to stop and help.
01:07:57.720 --> 01:08:02.240
'As a result, James and I quickly
got the Toyota working again.'
01:08:07.920 --> 01:08:09.880
We reconfigured it,
it's now running.
01:08:09.880 --> 01:08:13.400
Front wheel drive only
so it's now just its front legs
01:08:13.400 --> 01:08:16.279
dragging itself along,
still working.
01:08:17.960 --> 01:08:22.000
'We were now tantalisingly close to
the Pacific Ocean, the finish line.'
01:08:24.200 --> 01:08:27.960
There can be no doubt this has been
our toughest assignment ever.
01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:32.520
No question about that.
It's nearly killed us,
01:08:32.520 --> 01:08:34.279
it's nearly killed our cars.
01:08:37.439 --> 01:08:41.040
'It is incredible to think
that these cheap cars
01:08:41.040 --> 01:08:44.960
'bought unseen on the Internet
had crossed the Amazon rainforest.
01:08:46.720 --> 01:08:49.760
'They'd scaled the most dangerous
road in the world.
01:08:50.920 --> 01:08:55.960
'They'd still been working
when their drivers had broken down
in the Andes.
01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:02.680
'We didn't just respect them.
We loved them.'
01:09:04.359 --> 01:09:07.200
I have a teddy bear, I've had it
since I was born.
01:09:07.200 --> 01:09:10.840
One of its arms has fallen off,
one of its eyes is missing,
01:09:10.840 --> 01:09:13.600
its head's come off more times
than I can mention.
01:09:13.600 --> 01:09:16.560
To you it would be worthless junk.
01:09:16.560 --> 01:09:18.920
But to me, it means everything,
01:09:18.920 --> 01:09:21.720
and it's the same story
with this car.
01:09:24.200 --> 01:09:27.880
Yeah, the ride's terrible, it's a
bit noisy, doesn't handle that well,
01:09:27.880 --> 01:09:30.680
and I'm always worried it's going
to fall over,
01:09:30.680 --> 01:09:34.600
but it's done everything
the big boys have done,
hasn't got stuck any more often,
01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:39.160
and the only time it's
really gone wrong is due
to its dunking in the river.
01:09:39.160 --> 01:09:42.359
I think the plucky little car's
done all right.
01:09:44.680 --> 01:09:50.000
From the very start of the trip
when I couldn't start it on
the raft, I thought, "Oh, no."
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:52.680
But I didn't know it then,
I didn't know how determined it was.
01:09:52.680 --> 01:09:55.960
This thing is like
that Black Knight
01:09:55.960 --> 01:09:57.560
in that Monty Python sketch
01:09:57.560 --> 01:10:00.640
where they're fighting with swords
and he gets his arm cut off.
01:10:00.640 --> 01:10:04.720
"No, no, 'tis but a scratch!"
It's a great little car.
01:10:04.720 --> 01:10:08.840
'As our exhausted convoy drew nearer
to the coast,
01:10:09.800 --> 01:10:13.040
'weirdly, the road
started to climb again.'
01:10:14.160 --> 01:10:19.960
40 miles to go and we've got
to drop 2,300 feet to sea level.
01:10:19.960 --> 01:10:22.600
It must start going downhill
in a minute!
01:10:22.600 --> 01:10:24.160
'But it didn't.
01:10:24.160 --> 01:10:26.400
'The punishing climb continued.'
01:10:27.880 --> 01:10:30.760
I can smell... I can smell...
01:10:30.760 --> 01:10:32.760
a boiling engine.
01:10:37.560 --> 01:10:42.160
Is the drop at the other end
just sheer, because we're nearly
at the Pacific now?
01:10:42.160 --> 01:10:45.920
And we're 4,000 feet up.
01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:52.800
'Soon, though, we turned off the
Pan-America and headed through
the dunes to the finish line,
01:10:52.800 --> 01:10:56.440
'where, unfortunately, there was
one more obstacle in the way.
01:10:57.840 --> 01:10:58.880
'A big one.'
01:10:59.800 --> 01:11:00.840
Hang on a minute.
01:11:03.760 --> 01:11:04.920
Whoa, wait.
01:11:10.920 --> 01:11:14.120
Look how bloody steep it is.
God above.
01:11:15.960 --> 01:11:18.680
I can see now
why they said four wheel drive.
01:11:18.680 --> 01:11:21.680
Er, I've only got three wheel drive.
I've only got two.
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:25.760
What if you dig in?
If you dug in and started to roll,
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:29.440
the chances of you being alive
at the bottom...are nil.
01:11:29.440 --> 01:11:34.080
'We therefore decided to get some
practice on a smaller dune first.'
01:11:34.080 --> 01:11:35.320
Are we ready, chaps?
01:11:35.320 --> 01:11:37.560
Ready. Ready? Yeah.
01:11:38.040 --> 01:11:39.120
Three!
01:11:39.120 --> 01:11:41.600
Two! 'Hold on, hold on.'
01:11:43.240 --> 01:11:45.520
Give me strength.
Give me strength.
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:46.560
What?
01:11:46.560 --> 01:11:48.800
Just before we do this,
I wanted to say... Oh, shit.
01:11:48.800 --> 01:11:52.120
No! Oh, my BLEEP!
01:12:04.000 --> 01:12:05.680
My donkey!
01:12:09.480 --> 01:12:11.240
His wheel's come off.
01:12:11.240 --> 01:12:12.680
Aw!
01:12:16.720 --> 01:12:19.040
'Donkey was dead.
01:12:19.040 --> 01:12:21.240
'And in some ways, I was relieved.
01:12:21.240 --> 01:12:25.640
'Because it meant I no longer
had to drive down that dune.'
01:12:33.400 --> 01:12:35.880
This is utterly, utterly,
utterly stupid.
01:12:37.840 --> 01:12:39.960
I wouldn't do this in
a brand-new Range Rover.
01:12:39.960 --> 01:12:41.240
James, are you ready?
01:12:42.480 --> 01:12:45.160
Yeah, I'll be going for
second gear, Jezza.
01:12:45.160 --> 01:12:49.280
Second gear, low range, and I've got
my diff locks in. Have you?
01:12:49.280 --> 01:12:52.400
I haven't got diff locks.
'Good luck, boys.'
01:12:52.400 --> 01:12:57.240
Three...two...one. Go!
01:13:07.080 --> 01:13:08.840
Oh, my God.
01:13:09.160 --> 01:13:13.080
I don't know... Oh, Christ, I don't
know where the wheels are pointing.
01:13:14.640 --> 01:13:16.400
I don't think so.
01:13:19.560 --> 01:13:21.320
It's going sideways.
01:13:21.320 --> 01:13:24.400
Whoa. Whoo oh oh!
01:13:26.240 --> 01:13:27.760
Don't you dare go sideways again.
01:13:29.080 --> 01:13:32.640
'The soft sand was a nightmare
and the gradient meant pretty soon
01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:35.160
'we were fighting to keep control.'
01:13:38.240 --> 01:13:40.560
Get in a straight line,
you metal BLEEP.
01:13:40.560 --> 01:13:41.760
Come on!
01:13:42.720 --> 01:13:44.720
Come on. Oh, it's going
a bit fast now.
01:13:45.520 --> 01:13:49.440
I'm in a 900-year-old utterly
ruined Range Rover.
01:13:50.760 --> 01:13:51.880
Argh! Argh!
01:13:53.320 --> 01:13:55.200
Levelling out. It's levelling out.
01:13:56.080 --> 01:13:57.480
It's levelling out.
01:14:01.960 --> 01:14:03.840
Argh! We're down!
01:14:05.160 --> 01:14:07.040
We're down!
01:14:08.040 --> 01:14:10.200
Yeah!
01:14:11.760 --> 01:14:16.760
'Once again, we had shown what
the car, even when it's an old croc,
is capable of.
01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:19.280
'Well, two of us had.
01:14:28.360 --> 01:14:31.640
'But when we finally regrouped
by the water's edge,
01:14:31.640 --> 01:14:35.960
'Hammond still believed
he'd chosen wisely.'
01:14:35.960 --> 01:14:40.680
Are you going to try and argue...?
It's extraordinarily good.
It's led a very hard life.
01:14:40.680 --> 01:14:43.080
It died a noble death,
I think valiant.
01:14:43.080 --> 01:14:47.720
I think rubbish.
It has been a constant source of
problems and delays.
01:14:47.720 --> 01:14:52.040
It was old and arthritic and had
been beaten every day of its life,
sick old donkey.
01:14:52.040 --> 01:14:55.000
These two were old and arthritic
but they are here,
01:14:55.000 --> 01:14:59.680
and the Land Cruiser is 2,800 feet
above us up there.
01:14:59.680 --> 01:15:02.280
Forever. Can I just make
the case for the Suzuki
01:15:02.280 --> 01:15:05.160
cos I know what you're thinking?
Plucky little car.
01:15:05.160 --> 01:15:11.320
Helped you out a few times.
I agree. Technically, never really
broke down. Well...
01:15:11.320 --> 01:15:14.080
It didn't survive very well
in the puddle.
01:15:14.080 --> 01:15:16.240
But I'd like to say
most importantly...
01:15:16.240 --> 01:15:19.000
Mm-hm. ..the ride is rotten.
01:15:19.000 --> 01:15:20.880
Yes. And because of that,
01:15:20.880 --> 01:15:24.360
because it's almost
ruined your spine,
01:15:24.360 --> 01:15:26.240
and because yours isn't here,
01:15:26.240 --> 01:15:29.000
we have a startling conclusion
to the show.
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:33.200
It turns out that the most
unreliable car in the world...
01:15:33.200 --> 01:15:36.200
is the most reliable car
in the world.
01:15:36.200 --> 01:15:37.400
Yeah. It's fair enough.
01:15:37.400 --> 01:15:41.480
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the Range Rover.
01:15:41.480 --> 01:15:44.040
Not what I'd ever expected it...
Nobody expected that.
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Come on, we can be proud of that.
Proud to be British...
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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
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