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1
00:00:02,393 --> 00:00:03,655
♪ You know what it's like
to be nameless ♪
2
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:05,179
♪ Want them to know
what your name is ♪
3
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,355
♪ When I grow up,
I wanna be famous ♪
4
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,313
♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪
5
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,446
♪ When I grow up,
I wanna see the world ♪
6
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,317
♪ Drive nice cars,
I wanna have groupies ♪
7
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,319
Babe, we did it!
Oh, my God, okay.
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,581
Here's another one. You ready?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,496
"VICE Magazine,"
"'Based on a True Story,'
10
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:19,671
"real or hoax?
11
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:20,759
The podcast that's
gripped the nation."
12
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:21,934
Holy shit.
13
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,327
- Keep going.
- Yep, we got one
14
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,286
from BuzzFeed:
"Top ten moments you can't miss
15
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,157
from 'Based on a True Story.'"
16
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,159
- Love you, BuzzFeed.
- Another amazing one.
17
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,291
"New York Times Magazine,"
18
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,988
"Bill Kristol
and Noam Chomsky debate,
19
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,773
'What does "Based on a True
Story" say about America?'"
20
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,471
It says, the best...
21
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,342
country ever!
- Oh, my God.
22
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,345
Charli D'Amelio tweeted
"My new favorite obsession!
23
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,173
#basedonatruestory!"
24
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,696
- Who's Charli D'Amelio?
- I loved her
25
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,350
from "Dancing with the Stars."
She won last year...
26
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,482
- Okay.
- But she also has, like,
27
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,397
150 million followers
on TikTok,
28
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,007
so we are fucking viral, babe!
29
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,356
Uh-oh, look
who's callin' here.
30
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,315
Okay.
Hey, you see the Daily Beast?
31
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,099
Who is the voice
32
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,145
of "Based on a True Story"?
33
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,060
Can you believe that?
34
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,149
Man, we are everywhere.
35
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,498
Right?
36
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,760
How far away are you?
37
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,328
I'm just on Sunset.
I'll see you soon.
38
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:08,807
♪ 'Cause see,
when I was younger ♪
39
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,809
- Why did she invite him?
- I don't know.
40
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,116
It's like, if I know someone,
she has to know them too.
41
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,596
My friend has to be her friend.
42
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,337
If I have a plumber, she has
to have the same plumber.
43
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,121
It's like, fuck off.
- Yeah.
44
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,428
This is gonna be
a fucking great party.
45
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,386
♪ Be careful
what you wish for ♪
46
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,432
♪ 'Cause you just
might get it ♪
47
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,740
- ♪ Hey
- ♪ You just might get it
48
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,395
- All right.
- Hi, guys.
49
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,006
- Wow.
- Welcome. Hi.
50
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,573
- Beautiful in here.
- Oh, thank you.
51
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,706
You look amazing. You're huge.
- Thank you.
52
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,186
Uh--
- Hi.
53
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,144
- Hi, girls.
- So good to see you.
54
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,712
- You guys look gorgeous.
- This dress--
55
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,540
- Cut two dresses...
- Stop.
56
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,019
- And put it together.
- No, you did not.
57
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,151
- Hi!
- Tory!
58
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,283
- Hi, sis.
- Hello.
59
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,719
Little kid.
60
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:51,720
You need a sweater.
61
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,287
- Oh, hi.
- No, let it all out.
62
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,898
- How was school?
- I just graduated.
63
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:58,509
- You look smarter.
- Looking for a place to stay,
64
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,772
you know, before baby comes
and kicks me out.
65
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,339
Oh, my God,
no one is kicking you out.
66
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,862
Is there food yet?
- Yeah, inside.
67
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,603
- Bye.
- Hi.
68
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,866
- Who's your date?
- Tinder guy.
69
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,826
Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob.
70
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,088
Another fuckfest.
71
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,959
Oh, no,
it's, like, a little early.
72
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,439
- Is it?
- Alcohol?
73
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,571
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Yeah.
74
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,007
- Yes, yes.
- I see this.
75
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:18,964
- Bye.
- Holding hands.
76
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,183
Intimate.
77
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,186
I used to hate these things.
78
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,579
I always got outbid.
79
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,233
Not anymore, babe.
- Not anymore.
80
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,538
Look at this watch.
81
00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,497
Ten-day vacation--
Four Seasons in Maui.
82
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,281
Ooh, I like that one.
83
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,153
- What else we got here?
- A little wine tasting
84
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,763
at home?
That would be nice too.
85
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,243
A brick.
86
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,636
- What is that?
- "A single brick salvaged
87
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,813
from the last Manhattan
residence of Edgar Allan Poe"?
88
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,033
A creepy brick owned
by a horror writer?
89
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:46,209
I have to have that.
- Early anniversary present?
90
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,472
- That is so mine.
- It's gonna be yours, baby.
91
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,908
- It also works as a weapon.
- Hey, it's my two
92
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,301
favorite people.
93
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,608
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
94
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,306
- Hey, Michelle.
- Hey.
95
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,308
I didn't know
you were coming.
96
00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,744
- Well, surprise.
- Yay.
97
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,355
- Yeah.
- Great. Yeah.
98
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,619
And it's great that you guys--
um, how are you?
99
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,970
You know what?
We are awesome.
100
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,321
Yeah, and we have Nathan
to thank because he set us up.
101
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,757
- Yeah.
- Oh, I--no, I didn't.
102
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,411
I--I definitely didn't
set you up.
103
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,805
No, no, you did.
You did, remember?
104
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:17,936
I--I said he was hot,
105
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,722
and then you said
he was good people.
106
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,158
Buddy, thanks.
107
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,725
I owe you.
- I didn't...
108
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,509
Good people?
109
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,860
Oop, excuse me.
110
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,949
Thank you so much.
111
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,343
Oh, my God,
these canapes are amazing.
112
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,127
Ugh, I know.
I've had, like, 17 of them.
113
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,347
Uh...
114
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,178
Uh...
Carlos is here.
115
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,049
Mm, mm-hmm.
116
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,008
Yeah.
117
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,705
You invited Carlos?
118
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,794
Yes.
I want all my friends here.
119
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,274
Oh, my God.
You invite him to, like,
120
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,363
socialize too?
121
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,017
Well, this is the first one,
122
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,366
but Simon doesn't care.
123
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,759
- Hey.
- See?
124
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:58,760
All good.
125
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,501
You guys are
so fucking weird.
126
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,374
Hey, guys.
127
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,377
Bring it in.
128
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,249
Look at these new numbers.
129
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,555
15 million downloads.
130
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,122
That's a lot
of fuckin' money.
131
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,515
Yeah, that's a lot
of money.
132
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:15,385
- Like, a million dollars.
- Can you believe that?
133
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:16,734
Can you believe that?
134
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,084
Yeah, but you know
what the next question is?
135
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,477
How do we make it bigger?
136
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,262
Okay, let's just enjoy
this moment.
137
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,567
We gotta push it. Look.
138
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,352
I went on a bit
of a deep dive on Reddit.
139
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,876
Okay, 24% of our fans,
140
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,095
they want me to keep talking
about my greatest hits
141
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,576
over and over
like I'm Billy fucking Joel,
142
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,492
but 76%, guess what they want?
143
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,407
- Don't say it.
- Fresh new content,
144
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,408
motherfuckers.
both: No.
145
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:39,757
- No.
- Yeah. Yeah.
146
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,845
We're not talking
about that anymore.
147
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,107
- They said it.
- Faking it worked
148
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,370
pretty good in Vegas.
149
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,327
The fake was great.
It was great.
150
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,633
It was a one-time thing.
151
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,634
- How 'bout a two-time thing?
- It was great.
152
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,548
- Why?
- No, we've gotten listen
153
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,724
to our 15-million fanbase,
154
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,291
and we gotta keep it real
for them.
155
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,727
Okay, listen to this.
156
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,077
Spotify is talking about
a $20-million deal with us.
157
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,513
- Yeah.
- So how 'bout that's keeping
158
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,907
shit real, bro?
- That's keeping it real real,
159
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,604
so just keep your shit together,
160
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,041
don't fuck it up,
and just keep cool.
161
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,347
Offer's comin' in any minute.
162
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,479
We're all gonna be rich.
163
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,132
Okay. Great.
164
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,699
- Got it?
- I got it, yeah.
165
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,006
- Don't fuck this up.
- Okay, don't fuck it up.
166
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,520
Yeah?
167
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,401
Okay, ready?
Oh, good catch.
168
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,098
Good boy.
Come here. Come here.
169
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,275
Come here, boy,
you handsome boy.
170
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,976
Ooh.
Oh, good catch.
171
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,717
Oh, Duke is such
a handsome boy.
172
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,458
Come here.
- Hey.
173
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,460
Do you wanna try
this edible flower?
174
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,288
Do you think
we could get the dog back?
175
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,116
Uh, sorry, what?
176
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,466
Are you kidding?
- I just--I...
177
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,468
I'm really feeling like
178
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,904
he wants to come home.
179
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,428
Okay, babe.
We gave them the dog.
180
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430
You can't ask for something
like that back.
181
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,997
That's insane.
- We gave him the dog
182
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,651
because our yard was too small.
183
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:31,652
- Yes.
- But that's about
184
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,653
to fucking change.
185
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,045
We're gonna have a huge yard.
186
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,482
He should come home.
187
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,874
I mean, look--
look at the way he's--
188
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,746
he throws the ball
like such a pussy.
189
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,225
He's like--
- Anybody see that?
190
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,097
It is kind of a lame throw.
191
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,838
- Right? Just like--
- Yeah, but that doesn't mean
192
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,013
you can steal the dog back.
193
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,058
Good catch, Duke!
194
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,190
His name is McEnroe.
195
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,018
It's not Duke, and he knows it.
196
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,585
You gotta let it go, okay?
197
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:52,847
We can't ask for the dog back.
198
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:55,676
Okay, fine.
We'll buy him back.
199
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,069
You know how much
Simon loves this dog?
200
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,941
He does. He's obsessed.
201
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,856
He sleeps in the guesthouse
with him.
202
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,423
Do you think I give a shit?
203
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,469
Hey, pal.
204
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,559
It's us.
He's look--he's looking at--
205
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,865
- Babe, he's not looking at us.
- He's looking at us.
206
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,649
No, he's not.
You can't take something
207
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:13,650
like that away.
- Hey.
208
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,695
That's--that's nuts.
209
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,826
Yeah, um, can I--
210
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,001
can I grab you for a second?
I just--
211
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,220
- Yeah.
- I need a hand.
212
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,092
Yes. Please don't
steal the dog, okay?
213
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,790
Come here, Duke.
Come to me. Come to me.
214
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,356
Oh, come here. Good catch.
215
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,837
Good boy.
Come here. Come here.
216
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,448
Okay, Duke.
217
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,753
Go get it.
218
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,842
Oh, good catch.
You're such a handsome boy.
219
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,104
Bring it back. Bring it back.
220
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:47,292
Just love this room!
221
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,251
It's so beautiful.
Where are the party favors?
222
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,818
You hiding them up here?
- Ava--
223
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,254
Also, you have no pictures.
224
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,735
It's really weird.
- Hey, are you okay?
225
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,911
What?
226
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,524
What--what is that?
227
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,395
I don't know. You tell me.
228
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,441
I saw it fall out
of your pocket at CrimeCon.
229
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,662
I've--I've never seen that
before in my life.
230
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,098
You've never seen this before
in your life?
231
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,229
- No.
- Ever?
232
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,753
- No.
- Okay.
233
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,147
"WTF? You killed Dahlia?
234
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,627
"You made a podcast without us?
235
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,500
Meet us outside
in the corridor now."
236
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,547
You're "Based on a True Story,"
aren't you?
237
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,679
The--
238
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,420
"Based on a"--
the--the--the podcast?
239
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,118
Ava, I-I just--
I wanna help you.
240
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,249
Are you in danger?
- No.
241
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,034
Because I--I called
the number
242
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,165
on this phone,
and Matt answered.
243
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,428
I don't--no. What?
244
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,779
He's the Westside
fucking Ripper, isn't he?
245
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,302
What is going on?
246
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,825
- Okay--
- Why--why are you doing this?
247
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,174
Is--is he threatening you...
- It's not what you think.
248
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,480
- Or Nathan?
- Oh, my God, no.
249
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,700
It's not--
it's not like that at all.
250
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,615
No? Then what is it?
Because it says right here
251
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,312
that he killed
that girl in Vegas.
252
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,140
Okay, is that why
you invited Matt tonight?
253
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,445
So you could ask me about this?
254
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,143
I mean, I invited him
to find out
255
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,797
if he's the guy so I--
so I could help you,
256
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,581
but if you don't want my help,
I'll just go to the cops with--
257
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,104
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
258
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,193
There's no--we don't need to--
let's just all calm down.
259
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,630
No cops.
You don't need to call anybody.
260
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,806
Oh, fuck. Okay.
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
261
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,459
Okay?
- Okay.
262
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,114
Nathan and I are broke.
263
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,247
We--we were gonna lose
the house.
264
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,683
- What?
- I know, and Matt was over,
265
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,337
and we started talking,
and it turns out
266
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,514
he's a--he's this, like,
crime fanatic junkie like us.
267
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:22,866
So the three of us decided
to make a fake podcast
268
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:26,696
where Matt pretends
to be the Westside Ripper.
269
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:33,529
So Matt is pretending
to be a serial killer?
270
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,878
I know.
When you say it like that,
271
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,010
it sounds really bad, but--
272
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,621
it-it's so bad and--
and fucked up.
273
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,623
I know it sounds like that,
but we were desperate,
274
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,625
desperate,
completely desperate, and--
275
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,845
and then Matt, like,
he got, like, really into it,
276
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,629
and he pretended he was the guy
277
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,152
that pushed that girl
off the roof.
278
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,545
And people got obsessed.
279
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,808
They couldn't get enough of it.
280
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,985
So you're saying
that all of this is--is fake
281
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,204
and that guy's just a plumber?
282
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,293
- Yes!
- Because this looks
283
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,903
pretty fucking real to me.
284
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,122
Well, good.
285
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,646
We--
We got you.
286
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,734
That's good.
287
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:05,953
That--
288
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,694
Come on.
289
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,826
Do you think
that I would be in business
290
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,394
with a real serial killer?
291
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:15,397
I mean, you sound insane.
292
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:18,052
That would be the biggest
fucking stupidest thing
293
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,706
I could do, right?
294
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,490
Right?
295
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,232
- Yeah.
- Right.
296
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,581
Please don't tell anybody.
297
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,802
Truly, like, I--
I literally dragged Nathan
298
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,281
into this shit show.
299
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,761
There's a baby coming.
300
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,546
Our lives could be over.
301
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:35,765
Please.
302
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:41,162
Okay.
Yeah, no, no, no. I--I--
303
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,250
I won't say a word.
304
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,078
Thank you.
305
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,515
Thank you.
- Wow.
306
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,605
I got to admit, this is--
this is kind of genius.
307
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:52,129
"Based on a True Story"
is based on a fake story.
308
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,218
- I know.
- I-I wish I'd thought of it.
309
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,786
Yeah. Well, yeah.
Well, yeah. Mm-hmm.
310
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,135
Thank you.
311
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,703
I got your back.
312
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,924
- Thank you. Okay. Okay.
- Let's go back outside.
313
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,970
Duke, Duke. Duke.
314
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:07,971
Duke.
- McEnroe. See?
315
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,407
He likes McEnroe. McEnroe.
316
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:10,931
McEnroe, right there.
317
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,455
Good boy.
318
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,152
Yes! Come on, buddy.
319
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,850
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, buddy.
320
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:20,723
♪ She sat there
and smiled at me ♪
321
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,638
Come to me, Duke.
Come to me, Duke.
322
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,641
Good boy.
323
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,990
♪ Make me happy
324
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,339
Ready? Go.
- Okay.
325
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,515
I--I got it.
Okay, here we go.
326
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:31,865
Go get it.
327
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:32,822
Here boy. Come on.
328
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,174
Here, boy. Come on.
- Duke.
329
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,523
- Hey, hey.
- Come on.
330
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,221
Bring it to me.
Bring it to me, to me.
331
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,440
Me, me.
- McEnroe, look at me.
332
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,834
Come here, pal. Come here, pal.
333
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:45,966
Look at me. Come here.
334
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,576
Bring it to me. To me.
- Duke. Duke!
335
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,230
♪ She seemed so sweet
and kind ♪
336
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,493
Come to me, Duke.
Come to me.
337
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:54,104
Come to me.
Come to me, Duke.
338
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,454
Yay--oh!
339
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,761
Aah!
340
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,246
Help! Help!
341
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,914
I'm gonna getcha outta here.
342
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,872
♪ I turned around
and she was gone ♪
343
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:26,049
- ♪ Where did she go?
- ♪ And all I had left
344
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:29,400
♪ Was one little flower
in my hand ♪
345
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,926
♪ But I knew
- ♪ I knew, I knew
346
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:36,320
♪ I knew, I knew
- ♪ She had made me happy
347
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,582
- ♪ Happy
- ♪ Happy
348
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,019
♪ She had made me
very happy ♪
349
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,587
- ♪ Flowers in her hair
- ♪ Hair
350
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,111
♪ Flowers everywhere
351
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,460
- McEnroe.
- Duke.
352
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,853
- McEnroe.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
353
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,245
- Bring it to me.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
354
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,638
Duke!
- Look at me.
355
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,639
- Come to me. Come to me.
- McEnroe.
356
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,206
Come to me.
Yeah, yeah.
357
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,207
Oh! Oh, don't--
- Good boy.
358
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,343
Hey.
359
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,171
Hi. Hi.
360
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,391
You good?
361
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:06,046
Um, yes.
362
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,830
Yes, I'm good.
363
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,572
Everybody, please
take a seat inside.
364
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:13,531
Dinner first,
and then the auction.
365
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,448
Yeah, he likes me
so much better than Simon.
366
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:20,538
- I know.
- Let's get that fuckin' brick.
367
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:24,151
Hey, did you call me before?
368
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,066
Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry.
369
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,719
- Really?
- Yep.
370
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,373
Where's the trust, partner?
371
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,119
The same caterer did my--
our wedding.
372
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,208
- I didn't know that.
- Uh-huh.
373
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,949
That's right.
- Yeah.
374
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:40,994
Hm?
375
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,038
- Absolutely.
- It's great.
376
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,039
- Okay.
- I wish he would take
377
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:43,997
an interest in my--
- I mean--
378
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,741
- You tried your cake?
- No.
379
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:50,873
Goodness.
380
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,874
Thank you.
381
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,397
Nice to see you.
382
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,052
So are you a part
of the crew now?
383
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,749
Hey, did you crush
those midterms?
384
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,187
Yeah, I'm going
to UCLA Law in the fall.
385
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,493
- Oh, my God. Congrats.
- Yeah, thanks.
386
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,060
So we're gonna see
a lot more of you.
387
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,106
- Yeah, a whole lot more.
- Awesome.
388
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,108
"Crushed those midterms"?
389
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,284
So a sign of the times,
I tried to put an ad
390
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,635
on that hot true crime podcast,
"Based on a True Story."
391
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,854
- Hot.
- Brilliant.
392
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,029
Such a hot show.
393
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,031
- Is that not a genius idea?
- Right?
394
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,554
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
395
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,121
- Brilliant.
- Yeah.
396
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,862
- I love that.
- Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot.
397
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,124
- So brilliant.
- It's so good.
398
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,516
- I think it's fake.
- Oh, yeah?
399
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:28,215
Yeah, like, the, um--
the Orson Welles thing?
400
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,390
Uh, "War of the Worlds"?
401
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,479
It could be just
street theater.
402
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,611
Absolutely not.
Are you kidding me?
403
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,917
You heard this guy's voice?
404
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,571
That's a stabby voice.
405
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,965
- What?
- I buy it 100%.
406
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,662
That guy is the killer.
- Mm.
407
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,099
- You should just ask them.
- There's no chance.
408
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,667
- Yeah.
- You never talk to anybody.
409
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,929
- Oh.
- No, you--
410
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,018
you email a shell corporation.
411
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,585
You pay them in crypto.
412
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:54,241
Nobody knows where they are
or who they are.
413
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,808
- Wow.
- I wouldn't pay them a cent.
414
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,681
Paul, the guy
is killing people.
415
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,465
Okay, Richard.
416
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:05,295
Last time I checked, there is
still free speech in America.
417
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,602
Okay, even if that speech
is about
418
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,082
how you just killed someone?
419
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,431
Yeah, especially then.
420
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,955
You--you wanna outlaw
offensive speech?
421
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,652
Who decides
what goes on the list?
422
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,176
Me? You?
423
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,960
I listen to it, and I think
424
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,962
it's totally
fucking disgusting.
425
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,703
I think that you're right.
426
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,313
I think that it's all true.
427
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,967
I think he's a serial killer.
428
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,838
And I think the people
that are helping him
429
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,449
are far worse than he is.
430
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,364
- Oh. What people?
- Preach, sister.
431
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,669
- There's an interviewer.
- Hm?
432
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,193
- Don't say that.
- Right? I mean, somebody...
433
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,629
- No, that's not your word.
- Has to be helping him.
434
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:38,111
The Westside Ripper has
some kind of brain defect,
435
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,635
but these parasites are
making money off of him.
436
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,637
They should go to prison
longer than he does.
437
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,900
That's a very good point.
438
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,162
No, they really should.
439
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,034
Think about it.
- Mm.
440
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,427
I don't know. I--
441
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,647
there's nothing wrong
with makin' money.
442
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,866
I love money. You love money.
443
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,390
You love money.
444
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,869
Money's great.
445
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,175
Puts food on the table,
446
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,177
puts our kids through school.
447
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,310
Carlos loves money.
Right?
448
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,615
What?
449
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,878
Can't open your gym
on the East Coast
450
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,098
without money, right?
451
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,361
Uh, it certainly
would help, yeah.
452
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,321
Mm, guys, I think it's time
453
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,540
to start bidding
on the items, right?
454
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,803
I just wanna say
I love Carlos' business plan.
455
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,110
- Oh, my God.
- And I--
456
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,546
I want to invest in it.
457
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,549
Wait, you--you want
to invest in my gym?
458
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:29,727
Yeah, I want to finance
the whole thing by myself.
459
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,208
Well, that's--
460
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,470
Wait, are you serious?
461
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,732
100%.
462
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:35,733
- Great.
- Yeah?
463
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:36,865
When do we start?
464
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,695
Now.
465
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,697
What?
466
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,568
Now.
467
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,874
Like, right now.
468
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,006
Immediately.
469
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,660
Immediately?
470
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,053
He's joking.
471
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,099
He's just--
472
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,362
Go pack a bag,
473
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,841
go to LAX,
474
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,627
get on the red-eye,
go to New York, get to work.
475
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,195
It's gonna take
a couple of years.
476
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,023
I'm gonna need you there
the whole time
477
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,634
overseeing construction,
the plans,
478
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,159
and you're not gonna be able
to come back here ever.
479
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,080
Why you doing this?
480
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,561
Hm?
- Hm?
481
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,693
Why are you doing this
right now?
482
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:23,999
Is it 'cause I invited him?
483
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,915
What?
484
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,438
I believe in Carlos.
485
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,614
I like Carlos' business plan.
486
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,748
Unless there's something
that Carlos loves
487
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,968
more than money here in LA.
488
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,144
Then he should stay.
489
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,453
Okay.
490
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:47,240
I just
transferred you $250,000.
491
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,197
What?
492
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,727
When I get
my investment back,
493
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,338
we'll go 50/50.
494
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,167
If it works out, I'll finance
a national rollout,
495
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,170
but you gotta go right now.
496
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,135
You don't have to go.
497
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:16,051
Babe, please, stay for me.
498
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,531
You gotta go, Carlos.
499
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,100
I'm sorry.
500
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,972
Oh.
501
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,856
Are you fucking insane?
502
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,211
Why would you do that?
503
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,691
Why the fuck do you even care?
504
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,783
God.
505
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:55,221
Hey, buddy.
506
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,787
You got
some interesting friends.
507
00:18:56,787 --> 00:19:00,182
Okay, let's help
some teen runaways!
508
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,099
Oh, my God.
509
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,970
I cannot believe that happened.
510
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,451
You okay?
511
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,018
I know you really loved Carlos.
512
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,541
Oh, fuck Carlos.
513
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,282
I never loved Carlos,
514
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:16,459
but fuck him for leaving.
515
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:20,071
Well, I mean, we all know
you're gonna be just fine.
516
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,986
- Will I?
- Yes.
517
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,902
'Cause I feel like
I'm pretty fucked right now.
518
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,950
Ava, look at my life right now.
519
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,517
Take a good look.
520
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,910
You gotta let me in
on the podcast.
521
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,609
Okay? It's--it's literally
all that I got.
522
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,917
Okay, uh, maybe we should
talk about this another time.
523
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,963
No, no, no, 'cause--
'cause I can help you.
524
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,183
You know, you--you know
I'm great with marketing.
525
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,750
Right? And branding,
and I know this world.
526
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,188
And we're the "Wine Crime"
girls, right?
527
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,711
- Yeah, I can't do this.
- Oh, well, I--
528
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,626
because do you remember
that guy--
529
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,541
that guy that I had
a thing with in Cabo last year?
530
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,021
'Cause he's huge at Wondery,
531
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,153
and--and he's married,
532
00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,546
so he definitely owes me
a solid.
533
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,722
I can get him to make us
a preemptive offer,
534
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:04,420
you know, probably
a really, really big one.
535
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,074
- Oh, my God.
- Yes.
536
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:10,426
So some guy is gonna make us
a multimillion-dollar offer
537
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,254
because he went down on you
in Cabo?
538
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,170
Yeah, that is
how the world works.
539
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,041
How do you not know that?
540
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,826
Okay, just trust me.
541
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,915
You shouldn't get involved
in this 'cause it's a mess.
542
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,264
Okay, hold on.
543
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,439
Don't come at me like
you're my friend now.
544
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,006
- What?
- No, I know exactly
545
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,573
what's going on.
546
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,315
I mean, I know
Matt's the killer.
547
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,665
I have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
548
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,144
Okay.
549
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,711
So if I took Matt's wine glass
550
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,452
and took it down
to the police station,
551
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:39,803
you're telling me that his DNA
wouldn't be an exact match
552
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,283
to the Westside Ripper?
553
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,506
If you tell a single person
about this,
554
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:49,291
I will fucking end you.
555
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,901
But I already told Simon.
556
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,209
- What?
- Yeah.
557
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,211
I told him.
- You told--
558
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,821
you told Simon?
Are you insane?
559
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,171
Why would you do that?
- Because he's a lawyer,
560
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,564
and he will protect me!
561
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,827
Oh, my God.
He's not gonna protect you.
562
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,308
He fucking hates you.
He hates everything about you!
563
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,484
Oh, sweetie.
564
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,920
That's just married talk.
565
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,444
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I can't believe
566
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,054
you would be stupid enough
567
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,577
to fucking tell Simon!
568
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,971
Oh, I absolutely am
that stupid.
569
00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:18,494
And why not?
570
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:21,715
I mean, it's worked pretty well
for me so far, right?
571
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,238
Tell me something.
572
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:25,849
Who's the one
living in a mansion
573
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:28,678
in the Palisades,
574
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:31,246
and who can't afford
their mortgage in Mar Vista?
575
00:21:32,378 --> 00:21:33,901
Okay, you listen to me,
576
00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:36,425
you with your little
400 calories a day,
577
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,645
your cool sculpt,
and your amazing blowjobs
578
00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:39,776
you can't stop bragging about--
579
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,865
- They are amazing.
- Well,
580
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,520
not amazing enough
to keep Carlos around.
581
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,348
So if you wanna go steal
582
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,219
the Westside Ripper's
wine glass,
583
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,656
good fucking luck.
584
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:50,831
Fuck you.
585
00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,528
Fuck you, 'cause Nathan
will bring me in
586
00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:55,357
'cause he is nothing like you!
587
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,359
He will cut me in!
588
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,927
And my blowjobs
are the fucking best!
589
00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:04,235
Everyone in LA knows it...
590
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:05,541
and Dubai.
591
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,676
900, $900.
Ladies and gentlemen,
592
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:10,981
it would be a dream
within a dream
593
00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:12,896
if we got to $1,000.
594
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:15,682
Do I hear 1, $1,000
595
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,944
for the Edgar Allan Poe brick.
596
00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:18,249
How 'bout a 1,200?
Who'll do a 1,200?
597
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,642
There's a fan
of blood and murder for 1,200.
598
00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,470
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
599
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,385
Hold on, these fuckers are
trying to steal your brick.
600
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:24,865
- $1,300.
- Okay, but--
601
00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:27,563
I need you for one second.
602
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:29,260
- We're gonna lose the brick.
- I don't care.
603
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,958
Just come on.
604
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:32,307
So here's the thing--
don't panic
605
00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:34,004
when I tell you this--
but I lost the burner.
606
00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,005
- What?
- I got it back,
607
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,050
but I dropped it in Vegas,
608
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:37,530
and then Ruby, she found it,
609
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,574
and now she's blackmailing...
- Oh, my fucking God.
610
00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:39,532
Us and wants in
on everything.
611
00:22:39,532 --> 00:22:40,707
- Ruby?
- Yes.
612
00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:41,621
How did you not
know you dropped it?
613
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:42,622
It was an accident! Okay?
614
00:22:42,622 --> 00:22:43,710
We had been using yours.
615
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:44,841
I barely use mine.
I thought it was
616
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,147
in my bag, but it fell out.
617
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:47,540
I know I fucked up,
but she knows everything.
618
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,411
She knows that Matt
is the Westside Ripper,
619
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,370
and she told me
that she told Simon.
620
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,111
- She told Simon?
- Well, she might be bluffing.
621
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,852
I don't fuckin' know, but--
- This is fine. It's fine.
622
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,071
We're gonna figure this out.
623
00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,377
But this place is toxic.
624
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,987
Okay? I'm telling you,
it's fucking toxic.
625
00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:02,250
They're nuts.
I'm taking McEnroe outta here.
626
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,165
Babe, who fucking cares
about the dog right now?
627
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,688
Just forget the fuckin' dog.
628
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,298
We have bigger problems.
629
00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:10,258
What? What?
- Oh, shit.
630
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:13,304
Alba, she just came out
against us.
631
00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:14,480
No, not Alba.
632
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,785
Jessica Alba just tweeted,
633
00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:18,135
"If #BasedOnATrueStory
is true, it's sickening.
634
00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:19,615
"If it's fake,
it might be even worse.
635
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,921
"America,
we're better than this.
636
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:23,663
#CancelBasedOnATrueStory."
637
00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:25,273
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
638
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:27,188
Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, my God.
639
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:28,189
Okay, maybe
it's not gonna track.
640
00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:29,843
Maybe no one's gonna pick
this up.
641
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,280
Oh, shit.
Malia Obama just retweeted it.
642
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,283
Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks.
643
00:23:35,283 --> 00:23:37,459
- Kylie Jenner.
- Oh, my God.
644
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,374
So did Dame Judi Dench.
645
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,289
- Oh, I'm so sorry, babe.
- Oh, my God.
646
00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:43,770
- I know you love her.
- Are you seeing this shit?
647
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:44,988
- Yes.
- We're gonna get canceled?
648
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,034
Alba fucked us.
- Okay, is there anyone
649
00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:48,122
that's for us?
650
00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,689
- For us? Um--
- Who is? Look.
651
00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:50,951
- Kanye?
- Okay, Kanye?
652
00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:52,431
Ugh, that's not good.
653
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:53,475
The dude from NXIVM.
654
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,737
Josh Duggar?
655
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,086
Jared from Subway.
656
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,348
- That's not good.
- That's bad.
657
00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:58,480
No.
658
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,134
This is fuckin' awful.
659
00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:01,309
There goes iTunes.
660
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,615
- We lost iTunes?
- Yes.
661
00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:03,746
Okay.
662
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,008
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
663
00:24:05,008 --> 00:24:06,532
You and me,
we're gettin' outta here.
664
00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:08,142
We're takin' the dog.
We'll call you from the road.
665
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:09,578
You're taking
the fucking dog?
666
00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:10,623
Our brand is under attack.
667
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:11,928
We gotta act now.
668
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,800
Here's our play, okay?
669
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,366
The snowflakes can suck it.
670
00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:17,891
We're gonna double down
just like our fans want.
671
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,240
I'm gonna go out tonight...
- No.
672
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,112
- And I will--
- We are not doing that, okay?
673
00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,984
We have to do something,
but we are not doing that.
674
00:24:23,984 --> 00:24:25,028
You guys,
if we don't do something,
675
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,335
we are gonna lose
the Spotify deal.
676
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,032
Do you understand?
So what do we do?
677
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,643
Wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
678
00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:31,861
Wait a minute.
Doesn't...
679
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:35,038
doesn't Ruby know Alba?
680
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,301
Yes. You know what?
She was her body double
681
00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:38,651
in "Spy Kids 4."
682
00:24:38,651 --> 00:24:39,782
Remember, she had the wig
and the costume on
683
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,001
one night after shooting?
684
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,611
She loves to hold
that over me.
685
00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:43,830
She went down on Kid Rock.
686
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,092
Someone took a photo.
- Yeah.
687
00:24:45,092 --> 00:24:46,920
Why don't we get Ruby
to tell Alba
688
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,661
that we'll release
the fuckin' photo
689
00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,010
unless she pulls the post?
690
00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,185
Why would Alba care?
691
00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,360
It's not her in the picture.
692
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,144
It doesn't matter.
It looks like her.
693
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:56,016
No, the tweet's out there.
It's taken flight.
694
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,234
You go talk to Ruby.
695
00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,540
I'll find out what Simon knows.
696
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,803
Ruby's not gonna do shit
for us right now.
697
00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:02,849
Trust me.
- It's all we fuckin' got,
698
00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:04,415
guys. Let's go. Go.
699
00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:06,679
Big man, everyone!
700
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,551
Big fuckin' man.
701
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,598
What kind of control freak buys
his wife's boyfriend, huh?
702
00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:14,164
You're the one
who invited him, honey,
703
00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:15,339
in front of all of our friends.
704
00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:16,906
Yeah, you know why?
You know why?
705
00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:19,256
'Cause you can't get it up
unless you call me "Mommy."
706
00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:21,215
Do you guys know that?
What's up with that?
707
00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:23,565
You miss sucking
on Mommy's titties, huh?
708
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:26,046
Yes! Yes, I do!
709
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:27,526
You know what?
I actually like
710
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,832
sucking Mom's tits
better than yours!
711
00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:31,442
Guys, that's not great
712
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:32,835
for the dog.
- Or anyone.
713
00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:36,186
Even if I stitched
Michael Fassbender's foreskin
714
00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:38,101
onto Orlando Bloom's dick...
715
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:40,234
And Frankensteined
the perfect penis,
716
00:25:40,234 --> 00:25:42,149
I still couldn't get it up
for you!
717
00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:43,542
Are you gonna finally
stroke out
718
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:46,240
and leave me with all
your daddy's money, huh?
719
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,983
Come on. Come on, McEnroe.
Come on.
720
00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:53,203
Okay, stay here,
and stay quiet.
721
00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,596
I'm gonna get you outta here tonight.
722
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,684
Okay? Yeah.
723
00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:57,251
You think that hurt me?
724
00:25:57,251 --> 00:25:59,079
You think sending him away
hurt me?
725
00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,428
- Okay!
- You can't fucking hurt me.
726
00:26:00,428 --> 00:26:01,995
What do you want?
You want the spa day
727
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,344
at the Peninsula, honey, huh?
728
00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:04,563
Do you want the deep tissue?
729
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,260
Do you want me
to buy that for you?
730
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,957
You're gonna continue
to buy my love!
731
00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,480
You're a fucking monster,
732
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,482
and you've never loved anything
733
00:26:11,482 --> 00:26:14,224
in your entire life
except that dog!
734
00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,618
That's it!
How pathetic is that, everyone?
735
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,099
- So now it's the dog's fault?
- Oh, sure!
736
00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:20,404
Yeah, it's the dog's fault!
737
00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:22,232
Sure,
it's the fucking dog's fault!
738
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,582
You want me
to shut the dog up?
739
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,409
Yeah, go shut
the fucking dog up!
740
00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:27,281
Okay.
I'll shut the fucking dog up!
741
00:26:27,281 --> 00:26:28,282
Do you need Mommy's help?
742
00:26:28,282 --> 00:26:30,023
You think you can handle that?
743
00:26:30,023 --> 00:26:30,980
You got that, hon?
744
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:32,634
Goddamn it!
745
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:35,028
Hey, I know this is
a terrible time.
746
00:26:35,028 --> 00:26:36,943
I'm so sorry,
but, um, you're friends
747
00:26:36,943 --> 00:26:38,248
with Jessica Alba, right?
748
00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,033
- Yeah.
- You are?
749
00:26:40,033 --> 00:26:42,252
Yeah, she's really sweet, actually.
750
00:26:42,252 --> 00:26:44,298
- Um--
- Fuck off and die!
751
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:46,430
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
752
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:48,128
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
753
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,479
- What's he doing?
- Someone...
754
00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:53,307
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
755
00:26:53,307 --> 00:26:55,048
- Uh--
- No, you should stay here.
756
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:57,964
Wait...
757
00:26:57,964 --> 00:26:59,313
He's got a gun.
758
00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:00,488
- He's got a gun.
- Oh, my God.
759
00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:02,055
Oh, my God.
760
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,056
Watch out.
Watch out!
761
00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,275
Oh, my God.
762
00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:06,929
What did you do?
763
00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,672
I shut the dog up.
764
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:15,111
Oh, no.
765
00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:19,550
I shut it up.
766
00:27:19,550 --> 00:27:20,813
Oh, my God.
767
00:27:20,813 --> 00:27:22,815
Simon, please put that down.
768
00:27:24,817 --> 00:27:27,689
What the fuck did you--
- I shut the fucking dog up
769
00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,648
is what I did.
770
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:39,527
Okay, easy, please.
Please, please.
771
00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:43,531
No, no, no.
772
00:27:56,152 --> 00:28:00,200
I'm gonna come around you, okay?
773
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,553
Hey. Just focus on me.
774
00:28:05,553 --> 00:28:07,729
All right?
775
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:10,689
That's good. That's good.
776
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:14,693
Man, you must be in shock.
777
00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:20,742
You're not a bad person.
778
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:24,659
We all have anger in us.
779
00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:27,053
I know. It's okay.
780
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,271
It's okay. It's all right.
781
00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:29,795
It's good. Yeah, yeah.
That's good.
782
00:28:29,795 --> 00:28:30,796
You don't wanna do this.
783
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:33,102
Yeah. That's good.
784
00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:35,061
McEnroe!
785
00:28:37,367 --> 00:28:39,065
- Okay, Tory.
- You all right?
786
00:28:39,065 --> 00:28:41,241
I got you.
787
00:28:41,241 --> 00:28:42,590
He just lost his mind?
788
00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:46,072
Oh, no!
789
00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:47,900
I'm so sorry.
790
00:29:12,533 --> 00:29:16,406
♪ I saw her sitting
in the rain ♪
791
00:29:16,406 --> 00:29:19,453
♪ Raindrops falling on her
792
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,455
♪ She didn't seem to care
793
00:29:21,455 --> 00:29:26,460
♪ She sat there
and smiled at me ♪
794
00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:28,114
♪ Then I knew
- ♪ I knew, I knew
795
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:31,639
♪ I knew, I knew
- ♪ She could make me happy
796
00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,945
- ♪ Happy
- ♪ Happy
797
00:29:32,945 --> 00:29:34,468
♪ She could make me
very happy ♪
798
00:29:34,468 --> 00:29:36,296
♪ Flowers in her hair
799
00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:37,950
♪ In her hair
800
00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:39,821
♪ Flowers everywhere
801
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,041
♪ Everywhere
802
00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,957
- ♪ I love the flower girl
- ♪ I love the flower girl
803
00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:47,089
♪ Oh, I don't know
just why ♪
804
00:29:47,089 --> 00:29:49,309
♪ She simply caught my eye
805
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:52,486
♪ I love the flower girl
- ♪ I love the flower girl
806
00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:54,314
♪ She seemed so sweet
and kind ♪
807
00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:56,795
♪ She crept into my mind
808
00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:02,801
♪ To my mind
- ♪ To my mind
809
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,324
Nice shot, Dad.
56808
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