All language subtitles for Il Mostro

The same hand has struck again.

This time the victim is a nurse.

What can I say?
Yet another defeat: our 18th.

Are you sure
it's the same murderer?

You only have to look at the body,
or what's left of it.

Was it rape?

The word "rape" is a euphemism.

In the Cervazza St. murder
five years ago...

two parts of the body were never found.

- Which ones?
- Guess.

Let him through.

It's always the same motive: sex.

He's a pervert. His tastes range
from 15- to 60-year-olds.

Nuns, prostitutes, housewives,
senior citizens, the unemployed:

He'll take whatever
he can get his hands on.

When his erotic urge is unleashed,
there's no stopping him.

But don't imagine him
a horrible, repulsive creature.

He's probably your ordinary,
everyday man.

The problem is,
behind his mask of normality...

lurks a depraved rapist.

He's a sex maniac
disguised as a respectable citizen.

He's a monster.

- Loris, have you finished?
- Pascucci.

- You forgot the trimmer.
- No, there it is.

And the chain saw?

I was just going to the garage
to get it.

If I were you, I'd put one here.

Who invited her?

Behind you.
The nymphomaniac.

Don't turn around.

What nymphomaniac?

Wanda, the nymphomaniac.
She'll have sex with anyone.

With anyone?

What do you mean, "anyone"?
Do you mean anyone anyone?

Exactly.

Don't turn around.

What do you have to do?

Nothing.
A smile, a wink and--

She always wants to do it.
First, she acts the lady, then--

- Where is she?
- Behind you.

She's sitting next to the red roses.

Near the red roses, right behind me.

Near the red roses
is a nymphomaniac ready to--

Loris...

You're not thinking of--

- Are you kidding?
- She does it with everyone.

Did you unload the dummies?

I was on my way.

They're in the van.

I thought I'd put the dummy
with the chain saw here.

Another up here
and another down here.

I trust you.
Just bring them back to the storeroom.

Claudia, what's the matter?

I don't know.
Someone... something...

put his-- put his--

It's best I leave.

Good evening, madam.
Sorry about before.

Someone told me that--

Stop!

Help me!

Motherfucker!

Madam, don't leave me alone
with this chain saw from hell!

Cunt!
How do I stop it?

His eyes... much scarier.

Much, much scarier!

And his mouth... much uglier.

This is Professor Taccone,
an expert in criminal psychiatry.

It was terrible.
Just look!

I can't bear to think about it.
No more questions.

Just one:
choose one of these balls.

- Which one?
- Any one. Don't think it over.

The white one.

You can carry on.

The white one means she's a victim.
What did he do?

She was at a party.
Suddenly she felt an octopus's grip.

It slithered around her private parts
in ten seconds' time.

- Ten seconds isn't enough.
- Let me finish.

She went into the garage.

The pig was waiting for her,
sweating like a turkey...

a chain saw right at his crotch!

- How typical. He's our man.
- Obviously.

She fell
and he chased her with the saw.

He was in the throes of orgasm
as he shrieked...

"Stop, you motherfucker!
You bitch!"

Come here.

It happened in the same place.

Eighteen murders.

This was intended to be number 19.

- Let's arrest him.
- We don't have enough proof!

I want to catch him red-handed!

That's him!

My God, it's him!

He is my nightmare.

This man has disturbed my sleep
for 12 years.

I want to know his every tooth,
every single hair on his head...

what he does, what he eats, drinks,
where he lives, how much he earns.

Even what he dreams about.

I want to know everything
about this monster.

Loris, not bad,
but try to understand:

Chinese is not just a language,
but a way of being.

I want to learn everything,
even the dialects.

With a few technical words
you'll pass your exam.

They are all you'll need for the job.

Professor,
if this Chinese company hires me...

the first thing I'll do
is pay for my lessons.

It's only fair.

Then I'll pay you back
the 100,000 lire you lent me.

To be honest,
I only lent you 50,000.

You only lent me 50,000?

Can I have another 50,000
to make it 100,000?

I've got the 100,000 in my head.

Let's continue.

The four seasons.

The twos times table.

Please be quiet
I’m almost over.

Miss, this little girl is bad!

Give it to me!
give it to me!

Please be quiet!

These last minutes, I'll announce
Thursday's voting results.

So, we have 422 in favour
and 1 against.

Meeting is over...

Speak Mr Loris.

We are in democracy and a
tenant is allowed to speak.

Tell us Mr Loris.

But the majority has
made a decision.

Works will start in the following
six months, with the same company.

Thank you.

I'll be brief...

I said that I'll be brief.

They accuse me that I'm not civilized
and democratic with the other tenants.

and for this I say:

Article 1:

They accuse me of sticking chewing
gums on the door’s eyehole.

for mixing up letters in the mail boxes.

for cleaning my shoes on other
tenants' door carpets.

even for stealing the building's
lamps for private use!

and for writing anonymous letters to
our beloved administrator.

That's not true...
that's not true...

Dearest colleagues, as for
the last article..

After my negative vote for the
decoration of our yard with...

the snowwhite and the seven dwarfs...

they accuse me of stealing one dwarf...

and to be exact, the one called
"Bashful".

Bashful....

I don't even know which one
of them is Bashful..

Me stealing Bashful.... come on!

Dearest colleagues
lets get reasonable.

I confess that I voted twice AGAINST
the decoration of our garden.

With the snowwhite and the seven dwarfs.

During that meeting, I voted against,
because the expense of 8.100.000 lire.

That our administrator showed to us.

Gentlemen and beloved friends!
We need a change!

We need fresh air, cleanness, seriousness..

In one word:
A new administrator!

A new person that will reduce by

will organise roof-parties
for us on the evenings.

A person honest, clean,
intelligent and crystal clear.

Gentlemen.
Gentlemen.

Being a modest man, I suggest
myself as the new administrator!

Before you talk, return Bashful
because you stole it!

It's a scandal!
You are a thief!

You uncivilized people!

I insist gentlemen!
I should be the new administrator.

Fuck the majority.

Please come this way.

Careful. The apartment
is rented out at the moment.

But it will soon be empty.

Look at the terrace.

The view is just wonderful.

I'm very reluctant to sell it.

- It's very nice.
- I know.

How about the tenant?

Don't worry. He'll be leaving.

Come into the living room.

This is the living room.

Excuse me.

My cellular phone.

Hello, Gloria. How are you?

Sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for Antonello.

How the hell are you?

It's nice to speak to you.

I can't come because
a pipe broke in my bathroom.

The second time this week.
I'm waiting for the plumber.

I shouldn't pay the maintenance fees?

They forced me to three days ago.

4,800,000. Three days ago.

4,800,000 for maintenance.

Where does it all go?
Into the manager's pocket.

My landlord.

The man on the phone over there
with graying hair.

What a thief.

He's promised this apartment
to 30 people already.

He makes them put down a deposit,
takes the money...

then he claims the signature
is a fake!

He pockets the money.
He has already swindled 30 people.

He keeps finding suckers.

I can't come
because I didn't sleep a wink.

The alarm went off next door.

Every time I started falling asleep--

All night long!

When they go away for the weekend...

they set tons of alarms.

If a fly lands on their front door,
they all go off.

So, listen...

I have to piss,
so I'm going to the café downstairs.

I'll call you back. Bye.

I thank you very much.

Wait.
You haven't seen the best part.

I've seen enough.
I'll call you.

Watch out.

You may be cunning, but I'll get you.

Make one false step
and I'll have you evicted.

And pay the maintenance fees
instead of squatting.

The caretaker has your bill.
Everyone else has paid.

Why hasn't he given it to me?

You ask why?

Because he hasn't seen you
for the last two weeks!

Is he blind?
I come and go all day!

Change caretakers.

I'll have you evicted,
or my name is mud!

Elevator!

Shit.

You snot-nosed little brats!

Now I've got you!

- The doll!
- No, not my doll!

Goddamned water pistols!

I'll tear your doll to pieces one day!

Signora Squarciapini!

For the tenth time your daughter
Sue Ellen and that little punk...

have thrown a dead cat
into my apartment!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Pussycat, where are you going?

You'd better go away.

Beat it, or you'll end up
in my apartment too.

The murderers.

Two coffees.

Ruggero, come here!

Isn't that the man
who bought the grandfather clock...

and never paid?

No, Loris is dead.

He never paid because he died.

I still have the telegram
saying he's dead.

But the resemblance is striking.

It is him!

- What's the matter?
- Just a minute, madam.

Excuse me.

- What is it?
- Just a minute, please.

What's up?
They're all going off.

All right, thanks.

Let them through.
The system's down.

We're wasting time.
I'd arrest him now.

He's perfectly abominable.

The history of sexual aberration...

reaches its summit in this specimen.

His name is Loris.

An ordinary name
which warms the heart.

Excuse me.

Have a seat.

None of you
is forced to accept this mission.

It's very risky.

Psychotics like him are capable of--

In short,
we have to catch him red-handed...

with his hand in the cookie jar.

And we need one of you...

to play the cookie.

Exactly.

We have to provoke
an erotic urge in him...

a violent outburst
that will make him go haywire...

make him confront his vile obsessions.

The cerebral hypomorphic blocks--

Thank you, Doctor.
We get the picture.

It's up to you to make him
stick his hand in the cookie jar.

Hold it out to him,
and when he reaches for it...

shove your gun in his mouth
and bring him to me.

Excuse me.

If I provoke him and he wants sex,
it's only normal.

Normal?

With him, "normal" is a word
you must forget completely.

Sauro, show them the film.

Normal.

We filmed him
on an ordinary morning.

Here he is.
He just left his building.

He seems relaxed.
He plays with a cat.

Now he turns the corner.

Probably just petting the cat.

- But look!
- He killed it!

I call that heavy petting!

Don't play it back.
Let's continue.

Notice how he has developed...

a perfect sense of timing.

He's on his way to an appointment...

but the traffic light is red.

He's worried, looks at his watch...

confirms the time
and crosses on red.

He's in a big hurry.
Our cameraman loses track of him.

We catch up with him here.

What's he doing?

He's reached his destination.
But what for?

Here comes the answer.

This man is a genius.
He's the Mozart of vice.

It's a pity someone like him
should rot away in prison.

Look at his timing.

Just look.

- A genius.
- Disgusting.

Remember,
this is a perfectly normal day.

He's on the lookout here.

Now he's reading the paper.

Perfectly normal.

Watch this beautiful girl.

She leaves a café.

He follows her, finds her attractive.
What next?

She drops her shopping bag.

She bends down to pick it up.

Perhaps I too might have
stopped to admire the sight.

Her pose is provocative.

But I doubt I'd have had
quite the same reaction...

that he does.

Watch carefully.
Look at his f ace.

What's going on?
What's happening?

He loses control.
A part of him becomes autonomous.

He tries fighting it off.

It's as if he's saying:
"Stop! This isn't the right time!"

Look.

It's alarming.
She's the perfect prey-- unaware.

He says, "Behave! Not now!
There are people here!"

Look at the expression on his face.

It's terrifying.

Look how he attacks it.

He's unable to control his own body.

These images speak for themselves.

Forget this!

Now he loses control
over his entire body.

He charges toward the girl, but luckily
she moves away in the nick of time.

One more carrot
and we'd have had another victim.

His only means of cooling himself down
is this bottle of water.

So just think about it.

If he's capable of acting like this
in broad daylight...

imagine yourselves
alone with him at night.

He seems to be
in search of something.

But it's not over yet.
Look what he does.

He's punishing
that autonomous part of his body!

Look at this, ladies!

What's going on?

Stop, Sauro.

Turn the lights back on.

Miss?

- What's your name?
- Detective Jessica Rossetti.

Come on, Loris.

This is the last one.
Take them all downstairs.

All right.

That boss lady
is pretty enough to eat.

She's married.
Take them down.

- I may be dating her tonight.
- Well done.

I guess I'll take these down.

Pascucci, listen.

Call when you have more jobs.
I need the work.

Let me carry all your dummies.

Fucking bitch!

Get in there!

Look what you got me into!

Come on!

Where should I stick it now?

Office.

Employee.

Buy.

Sell.

"The manager is a crook."

Who is it?

The manager.

Yes?

I want to show the apartment to someone.
Open up.

Just a minute.

I'm in the bathroom.

I'm coming!

I'm coming!

Open this door!

The shower is-- Here I come.

Coming.

Come in.

Do you mind?

How kind of you.

- Please come in.
- Do as you please.

Come this way.
Here is the bedroom.

I'll let some light in.

There you go.

It's ugly as it is,
but with a bouquet of flowers--

You could knock down this wall.

Come see the living room.

It's the highlight of the apartment.

Come and see.

It's 600 square feet.

You're here.

May I open the door to my terrace?

I'm not on speaking terms with you.

Fine. This way, please.

Come and see the terrace.

Look at the view.

It's marvelous!

We're painting the building
at the moment...

but that doesn't detract
from its charm.

There's a breeze in the evening.

It's cool in the summer,
warm in the winter.

It's gorgeous.

Yes, it's stunning.

You're lucky.
You called just at the right time.

I'll sell it to you at half the price.
A real bargain.

What?

I'll sell you this apartment
at half price.

But I wanted to rent it.

You've misunderstood.
I'm looking to sell it quickly.

- I'm sorry.
- It doesn't matter.

- Thank you. Good day.
- Good-bye, sir.

Good-bye.

Miss!

Come here.

Come here. Fast!

Come here.

Come here.
I said to come.

My head's bursting.

Take it easy.

I overheard... by accident...

you're looking to rent.

Well, listen, I'll give you mine.

We'll share it, the two of us.

I'll sublet it to you.

Quiet!

If they hear us, I'm screwed!

Keep it down.

Come here. Don't move.

- When do you need it?
- As soon as possible.

You can have mine,
but I need a deposit.

Eight months' deposit, in cash.

But no one should know
about this

Take the bucket, quick!

We will go up from here

Without telling anything to the administrator!
The thief!

Miss, where are you going?
Miss!

We shouldn't be seen from that thief!

Now I feel very calm...
..my body is frozen.

- How many bags do you have?
- Two.

Two suitcases.

Forget the main entrance.
Come tonight.

At 3:00.
We'll go up that way.

If they find out, I'm history.

It's illegal.
It's forbidden.

Total silence.
What time?

- 3:00.
- All right.

3:00 tonight. Alone!

Two suitcases at the main door?
I'll get evicted!

This way!
Are you crazy?

In front of the main door!
She'll get me evicted!

This way, goddamn it!

Why did I bother?
Let's call the whole thing off!

Careful!
This way, quietly.

Excuse me, you should be--

Are you the same girl as before?

Are you sure?

Okay, then.

This way, please.

The ladder.

Go up to the top floor.

Straight ahead.

Jesus!

Be more careful.

You better show me the way.

I guess I should.

Let me by.

Excuse me.

Well...

how are things?

What's your name?

Jessica.

And yours?

My name is Loris.

Pleased to meet you.

So...

Shall we go?

Oh, God, the hook!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

The light’s off now.
Let's go.

Sorry.

This place is a snake pit.

Come with me.
Don't make a noise.

Follow me. Quiet.

We're too excited.

Let's keep ourselves cool.

This place is a snake pit.

This is an opportunity
I can't pass up.

Excuse me, Jessica...

but I can't help myself.

It's time to kill...

Sue Ellen's doll!

This won't take long.
It's a very personal matter.

I needed that!

I'm a new man.
I'm on top of the world.

You and your dead cats.

Come on.
We're nearly there.

This way.
That's my terrace.

Come on.

Follow me.

After you.

Congratulations.
You're in the lion's den.

- You're sleeping in his house?
- Be careful.

Now we'll have fun with Loris.

The show is about to begin,
and you're the leading lady.

Do you know what it's called?

"The Pressure is on Loris."

You have to urge him on,

Every gesture, every glance...

every movement of your body,
every sigh...

must torment him and let loose
the erotic demons in him.

You're a flower for a hungry bee.

The pistil beckons, then retracts,
forbidding the honey.

It will be a perverse war...

a lustful duel, day and night.

An obscene bombardment.

A bombardment?

An obscene one!

Yes.

It's me, Pascucci.

You look a little--

Why did you call?

There's a girl at my place.
She's always naked.

Sunrise to sunset, sunset to sunrise,
day and night, night and day...

always naked.

Is she pretty?

That's not the point.
She's always naked.

Always naked.

I can't get a moment's peace.

She drops--

She moves--
She walks past me and drops her--

"Oh, sorry."
Why sorry? She saw me there.

She turns around,
and she's naked behind too.

She drops something,
bends down to pick it up.

Or she has to get something
from high up.

I'm here, and she does this.

Then she says, "Sorry."

It's not intentional.

She's always naked.
Her dresses get shorter and shorter.

Then she reads the paper.

This is the paper, right?
She reads it like this.

When she drops it,
she picks it up like this.

She reads it sitting down.

Totally normal,
as if I weren't there.

She's reading along,
and then goes...

And I'm sitting where you are...

and she's got nothing here--
I can see everything.

And... she's got everything that--

that women have,
in front... and behind.

She's got it all.

Everything.

A leg, another leg, a-- the--

Absolutely everything.
There's nothing missing.

Pascucci, you have to help me.

Do you understand?
You haven't--

Sometimes I see-- I see--

My head starts to-- I feel--

- Sometimes I think--
- What do you think?

Your tongue's hanging out.

Women notice that.
They don't like it.

Dignity, Loris.
Show some dignity.

Don't think about it.
Think of something else.

Think of a joke.
Think about taxes.

When she shows her ass,
think of taxes.

Think about the economy.

Taxes and the economy?

Dollars, marks.

Dollars and marks?

That's an example.

Think of inflation!

Inflation?

I fell in love for the first time
when I was five.

His name was Duilio.
This is my diary from junior high.

Duilio Mazzotti.

"March 23. Saw Duilio today.

He's the handsomest boy of all...

more than Christian,
who's a head taller."

After I change,
we'll take a walk in the park.

What's wrong?
You're making a face.

I'm worried...

about the inflation rates.

If labor costs go down half a point...

the Swiss franc will devalue the lire.

Then we'll all be in trouble.

It's a big park with lots of trees--

oaks, birches, ash trees,
poplars, beeches, olive trees...

lime, apricot and pomegranate trees.

Where did I put them?
I can't find them.

You'll like it in the park.

It's the nicest park in the city.

There are pines with enormous cones
and tons of pine nuts.

There they are!

Guess what time it is.
Your clock says midnight.

It's...

18 minutes past 4:00.

I'll set it.
18 minutes past 4:00?

We'll see lovely chaffinches,
robins, whistle ducks...

almonds, caimans,
cormorants, sea gulls.

Oh, God! It'll stain!

Relax, I'll rub it out.
Nature is so beautiful.

I'd like a vegetable garden
to plant things in.

Basil, parsley,
a little of everything.

I feel strange.
My head's spinning.

Maybe it's my heart.
It's beating like crazy.

Where's the heart?
Right or left, left or right?

I can never remember.
I'm very delicate, like Grandma Dina.

I wrote an essay on her
in junior high.

"April 18. Grandma Dina.

Grandma Dina was stung by a scorpion.

It is September.
It was on her ring finger.

Now it's October...

and Grandma is still very ill."

Wait! I'll pick it up!
It's so hot in here!

Did I read you the essay
I wrote about Mommy?

"Theme: My mommy.
Development: My daddy."

An essay about Mommy
where I talk about Daddy!

No, it's too long.
Let's go to the park.

What time is it?
It's late!

Come on! We'll be late!

If I had a vegetable garden...

I'd plant cabbages, cauliflowers,
artichokes, carrots...

celery, chives, eggplants.

- Give me a hand!
- I'm coming.

Stop. Here I am.
Can you see me?

- Yes.
- Help me down.

Careful.
Help me climb down.

That's right. Good.

Thanks.
I wonder how my hat got up there.

I'll go change.

I'd like a pond...

with turkeys, chickens,
rabbits, chicks, gnus, pheasants.

In another pond, a whale!

How I'd love a whale!

Look at this dress.

Lovely.

I agree, but look how it's made.

If someone slaps you on the back,
you're in your birthday suit!

Under the bed?

I dropped the earring
Aunt Mimi gave me!

She said, "This earring wasn't dear,
but lose it and you lose an ear."

Help me.
It's stuck in the spring.

I'm coming.

How did it manage to get stuck
in the spring?

I said, "Grandma Dina and Aunt Mimi,
you're both so active at 90."

"We've eaten lots of sausages...

and salami, ham,
corned beef, luncheon meat...

bacon, roast pork and tripe."

The gross national product
has improved slightly.

There's no use investing in dollars...

if the rate of the French franc
falls below 0.4% of the Bundesbank.

The per-capita income
has fallen below the PIL of the MIB.

Bonds are finished,
the stock market crashed, I'm ruined!

Let's go.
I don't want to miss the sunset.

We'll go someplace nice,
as silent as a grave.

You have to see it
with your own eyes.

Quiet!

And you can yell
as loud as you like there.

We can laugh and joke.
I have tons of things to show you!

There's something itching me.
What could it be?

There we go.
Now I feel better.

Let's go to the park!

Behave.

Come in.

Good morning. So?

Forget it.

- What happened?
- Nothing at all.

Nothing and everything are linked.

Tell me about this "Nothing."

Everything. I've done everything.
I can't do any more.

I even took him to the park
until 3:00 a.m.

I was naked. I caught cold.

I kept saying,
"No one can hear us!

Anyone could take advantage of me!"

I fell with my legs wide open.

I went for a dip in the fountain.

I pranced around naked,
picking flowers.

In short, I shoved my ass
in his face all night long.

Fascinating.
And what did he say?

What did he say?
You can hear what he said.

The shares of the Canadian dollar...

mustn't fall below the 0.6%mark.

Panic on Wall Street
and at the Bundesbank.

Shareholders are selling out.

I'm confused.
Maybe I went about it wrong.

No, on the contrary!

We should celebrate.
We're almost there.

Why? He's done nothing strange.

Do you know what we call
this "nothing strange"?

"Preurgic cathartic apathy."

It's that moment of low pressure...

before an intensely violent hurricane.

Now your mission is getting risky.

If I could see him, touch him...

I'd tell you the day,
the hour and the minute he'll explode.

I'm very worried.

Now we have to try
something very dangerous.

It will help to protect you too.

I have to examine him.

Vascular tension
of the medignonomus...

blood pressure,
ocular pressure, DNA...

R.O.S., height,
size, weight, reflexes!

We don't have a minute to lose.

Help me meet him as soon as possible.

Tell him I'm a tailor--

a friend of yours--
and I want to make him a suit.

He mustn't suspect I'm a doctor.

The attached...

invoice--

Respectfully yours...

The President of Vice.

The vice president.

Class dismissed.

Professor, if you only knew...

how important this exam is for me.

It's tomorrow,
and I have to pass it.

Just think-- assistant manager...

of the Huan-Chai-Hung
Import-Export Company.

- Hong Kong, Shanghai, Italy--
- Assistant manager. Slow down.

First I have to pass.
When you work for the Chinese--

you move up quickly.

Thanks.

It's my Lao-tzu vase,
a good-luck charm.

- Take it to the exam.
- Thanks.

I'll give it back.

I better go. So long.

Thanks again.

I think I'm well-prepared.
I've got to pass.

Thanks.
I've been meaning to ask you--

What does that say?

Welcome.

I thought so,
but since it's worn out--

So I'll see you at the exam.

- Are they nice?
- Yes. Husband and wife.

She's somewhat fragile.
He's a great tailor.

One of the best in the world.

- What about dinner?
- We have to go shopping.

The workmen are outside.
What should we do?

- Shit, it broke again!
- It happened to me too.

Hold it. I'll fix it.

I'll jam a screwdriver in there.

Jessica, I feel happy today.

Know what?
Fuck them all.

Today we'll use the main door.

Get down and follow me.
Do what I do.

- Have a nice walk.
- Thank you.

- Is she your wife?
- Yes, she is.

- Pleased to meet you.
- The pleasure's mine.

Are you planning on having children?

- Children? We'll see.
- Soon.

The weather's changed.
It's cloudy.

This is as far as I go.
My car's in here.

- Good-bye.
- Have a nice walk.

Wave good-bye.

- Who was that?
- It's too complicated.

- What's going on?
- Let's go. Stand up.

The alarm's broken.

These are for you.

They're gorgeous.

Stunning! Turn to the left.

- What time is your tailor coming?
- 9:00.

Paride, I want to go back home.

Eighteen! He's killed eighteen!

- Go alone.
- No. It's too dangerous.

If he realizes
I'm a psychiatrist--

We have to act natural.

There's no danger.
It's just an ordinary dinner.

Smile. Compliment him.
Look him in the eye.

Jolanda!

- Take these.
- You gave me two before.

Take another two.

No, three.

We're a little early,
but it's better.

Smile.

- Paride!
- This is my wife.

That's enough. Come on.

We're so pleased to be here.

This is Jessica.
Look, she's relaxed.

- Where is he?
- In the kitchen, cutting the steaks.

Come in.

I have to pee.

My wife needs to use the bathroom.

Follow me.

The first door on the right.

- Where can we talk?
- In my room.

There's a problem.

I need a blood test...

a neurosomatic checkup,
an R.K.S. scintigraphy--

Paride?

Is that you, Jessica?

I'm sorry, honey.
Swallow these.

Down the hatch.
Good girl. Calm down.

You have to get the door fixed.

It's not the door.

When I opened it
her eyes were so huge...

she scared me shitless!

Women! Everything's fine.
She'll be out soon.

I'm going on the terrace.

We got here a little early.

To be precise...

26 minutes early.

That's rush hour for you.

In a way, it's better.

It's better to arrive early first
than late last.

May I?

- Come and have a drink.
- Yes, let's have one.

I want to apologize about your wife.
I'm sorry.

There's no need to apologize.

Look what we've prepared.
One, two, three!

Pretty, isn't it?

We blew a fuse.

I'll be right back.

- He may catch on.
- It's impressive.

His H.B.S. is almost 73.

His seminaceous glands are bursting.
His eyes are hypervascular.

As I suspected, he's on the brink.
You've done a good job.

It's me. May I come in?

Remember me?

It's me again.

I've come to apologize for before.
I'm sorry.

Forgive me.
These dinners get me worked up.

I'm a bit nervous, so--

If you're feeling better, I'm ready.

I've taken care of your husband
and Jessica on the terrace.

There's only you left.

Take it easy.
You don't have to come yet.

We've got plenty of time.

The night is young.

We'll have a ball later.

I apologize again for before.

Here I come.

Sorry.

I have a question for you.

There are three doors--
a closed white door...

an open red door,
a half-open brown one.

- Which would you choose?
- That's easy. The red one's open.

- Choose a ball.
- This one is nearest.

One more thing.

There are three cows.
No, forget that one.

You come home and find
your wife lying on the floor.

One, she's dead.

Two, she's fainted.
Three, she's playing.

What do you think?

She's dead.
I'll turn the oven off.

Have I won? What is this game?

Terrifying.

You're up!
What are you doing?

Nothing.
Just stretching my legs.

I wasn't running away.

Running away?

I need some fresh air.

I need to--

- May I?
- Of course.

Thank you.

If you need any help--

I'm coming! I'm coming!

Calm down! Don't move!

No! I don't want to!

The blinds!

Turn the music off!

- What happened?
- I was getting some air...

and he grabbed me from behind
with an enormous, huge thing!

Calm down.

Don't worry.
It's happened to me too.

- The window's broken.
- What happened?

The window. The blind.

She stuck her head out for air
and the blind fell on her.

She scared me stiff.

Did you hear? It was an accident.
It wasn't his fault.

No, he wanted to--
with an enormous thing.

He tore my dress.

If you want to change,
the closet is full.

You can choose whatever you want.

I want to go home.

Relax. It was an accident.

He grabbed me from behind.

I saw him.
It was an accident.

We have to get someone
on the double...

to repair that blind.

A little more.

That's better. Drink up.

You'll feel much better.

It's burning hot.
It's going to be delicious.

In China it's called...

Turtle pie, but I used potatoes instead.
Same thing.

I can't eat much.
Just a light meal.

I have a Chinese exam tomorrow.

- All right.
- Thanks, Paride!

You know I can't refuse you anything.

Did you hear?
Paride's making you a suit.

Do exactly what I tell you.

I'm a stickler
for absolute precision.

I don't use meters,
I use millimeters.

Modern tailors make me laugh.
They're rag merchants.

I have to know my customers
inside out.

A suit describes
the man who wears it--

his hopes, illusions, dreams.

Lift your leg, bend it--
No, just one.

Don't budge.

Stand on this.

Look up.

You can get down.

Now I'll measure your neck
for the tie.

I'll measure your throat elasticity
for the knot. Say "ahh."

16-4.
Don't move!

Let's check the sleeve
for the lower forearm.

You mustn't fidget.

I told you to keep still.

It's a disinfecting slide.

Hold your arms up.

Eyes to the ceiling.

Arms in the air.
Holy shit!

Stay like that.

Finished!

What a great tailor.
Really precise. Thanks.

That's only the sleeve.
We've only just begun.

Now we measure your hips and calves.

Get undressed.

In front of everybody?
You're kidding!

You're right.
Let's go to your room.

No. I can walk.

My bag.

- Lead the way.
- Bye, Jessica.

- What do I have to do?
- Cough.

Hold your breath.

Now breathe.

- We've got the shoes, now the hat.
- I don't wear hats.

A suit without a hat is like
an Englishman without an umbrella.

I need the tape measure.

- Is it heavy?
- Sort of. I never wear hats!

Think of your mother.

It tickles!

Jessica, we're doing the hat now.

Don't turn around.
Don't move.

I've nearly finished.

Modern designers are rag merchants.

Now this may hurt,
but it won't take long.

Lie down here.

Quick, Loris!
Something's burning in the kitchen.

- Do you mind?
- What about the scarf?

- I have to go.
- What a shame.

- What's burning?
- Nothing. Everything's fine.

Paride is going too far.
Sometimes he's overly precise.

Thanks. He may be precise,
but also a little wacky.

To measure me for gloves,
he asked what I dream about...

and if I ever saw
my parents making love.

- What are these?
- What?

That was to measure me for...
suspenders.

He is really very precise.
I'll wash up and be right back.

Come here!

You think things are normal here?
Look!

- What is it?
- Read what's on it.

"Bashful."

Don't you see?

A dwarf in the wardrobe!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!

Snow White.

Fairy tales.
I have to think about that.

The test results
are going to blow me away!

Where are you going?

Did you hurt yourself?

Come back in.

My bag!

She put this dress on,
then it fell off.

She was naked,
she panicked and screamed.

Here on the stairs!

I'm sorry, but your wife--

She's that way.

When she decides it's late,
there's no stopping her.

- She was screaming!
- That's her way of saying good-bye.

She's just cheerful.

Good-bye.
The meal was delicious.

Normal?

I'm coming!
Wait for me, darling!

I don't think
I'll get that suit now.

What's your name?

How long do these exams last?

It depends on how it goes.
He just went in.

The longer he stays in there,
the better because--

What region are these Chinese from?

I couldn't understand a word.

What did they ask you?

How do I know? I didn't catch a word.
Are they Chinese?

They're Chinese, Loris.

So you flunked it.
I told you it wasn't easy.

- We can try again.
- No, thanks.

I'll miss our lessons.
They were fun.

This is yours.

My Lao-tzu, a good-luck charm.
But it wasn't much use.

So long then.
I'm sorry.

Were the questions very difficult?

Extremely difficult!

They asked me one.
I didn't understand a word.

Maybe it was a dialect,
but I don't think they were Chinese.

"Job offer."
Listen to this.

"President of thriving company.

Three months' holiday pay.

Knowledge of Scandinavian
languages required."

How many Scandinavian languages
are there? They all sound the same.

I'd look for something else.

- I found the answer.
- To what?

Bashful.

I didn't sleep a wink last night.
How is he?

- Normal.
- Normal. I might have guessed.

I spent the night rereading
Endelsson's latest essay.

"Ghosts and Fairy Tales
in Contemporary Rape:

from the Three Little Pigs
to the Monster of Rostov."

Here's the solution--
a Little Red Riding Hood costume.

- Put it on and you'll understand.
- No. I've had enough.

You don't have a choice.

The chief of police
orders you to wear this...

and keep your gun handy.

The urge will be
immediate and devastating.

Put it on and you'll see.

Read the instructions first.

Good luck.

I found it!
Listen to this.

Listen to this.

"Vice president--"

No. I don't like the "vice" part.

Who could that be?

- Who is it?
- It's me, the manager.

What do you want?

There's a lady with me,
to see the apartment.

Jessica--

Yes, I'm coming.

I'm very sick.
Haven't you heard?

What are you talking about?

I'm sick. I've got--

I'm very sick.

It's a very contagious disease.

Stop acting stupid.
Open the door!

Good morning.
What a pretty baby.

Come in. Let me touch her.

I'll come back another time.
I'm busy.

I really have to go.

No, wait!

Look what's happened to me.

When I woke up this morning...

my face was covered with this.

What virus is it?
No one knows.

You're a bastard.
You'll pay for this one day!

Elevator!

Jessica, that was the manager.

It was the manager.

Can I come in?

If the manager sees you,
he'll put you in the garden.

Where are you going?

To visit my sick grandmother.

And these suitcases?
What's going on, Jessica?

I have to go away.

Don't ask me where,
how, when or why.

I have to leave you.

- Don't ask me anything.
- But how? Why?

You always do that!
I tell you not to ask, then you do!

You never listen to me!

I come in windows,
screwdrivers fall on me...

and I crawl out buildings!

- I'd get evicted--
- You should be!

Hide here, hide there!
This is no apartment, it's a video game!

Then you wake me up with coffee
in the morning!

I'll have a nervous breakdown!

Enough! I'll send someone
for my bags tomorrow.

Don't open your mouth.
Don't try to stop me.

- But, Jessica--
- You see?

You don't listen to a word I say!

Stay there and shut up.
I'm leaving!

And these are mine!

Dear Jessica, I'll leave this cassette
in your suitcase.

I must admit
you've been a little--

just a little--
rude concerning yours truly.

Our contract for the rent ends here.

Many thanks.
Yours respectfully.

Dear Jessica, I'll leave this cassette
in your suitcase.

I must admit
you've been a little--

just a little--
rude concerning yours truly.

Our contract for the rent ends here.

Many thanks.
Yours respectfully.

When you hear this cassette,
I'll be gone.

It's 3:00 a.m. and very silent outside.
I can't sleep.

I went into your room.
You were asleep.

How can you sleep
without a pillow?

Loris, you can't imagine
how much I--

You've ruined everything!

The mouse nibbles
and the cheese runs out.

I'm convinced
you're making a mistake.

We had him
where we wanted him!

What's got into you? You could have
stopped a series of terrible crimes.

- Professor, you saw him.
- So did my wife.

But, Professor--

It's no use.
That monster's won her over.

How did he react
when you said you were leaving?

He looked sorry.
A little surprised. Otherwise normal.

Normal! Normal, right!

Yes. Slow down.
I can't hear a word.

What? Where? Half an hour ago?
In broad daylight?

He's killed again.
Same details, same area.

Arrest that Loris straight away.
Go to his apartment.

Let everyone know.

Call the papers, the TV studios.
Distribute the film.

Come with me, Professor.

You'll have this on your conscience
f or the rest of your life!

It's not possible.

Is he really scary?

Scary is too nice a word.

He's arrogant, hysterical.
Never pays his bills.

We'll get him ourselves...

and carve him up
like he did with the ladies.

Bring back the death penalty!

Police. Make way.

Is it true he locked himself in?

What's going on here?

I don't know. I just got here.
A woman was killed.

- A woman was killed?
- Twenty, you mean.

Twenty? In this building?

Yes. The murderer kept a dwarf
in his closet.

- He tortured it.
- Who did?

The monster.
The one who chops women up.

They caught him.

The monster?
The one who chops up women?

- Did he live here?
- It seems so.

Who is it? The manager?

- I don't know. Maybe.
- It must be the manager.

It's him!

Let's go! He's dangerous!

It's him!

- The monster!
- Me?

We're your friends.

Everything's fine.

The monster? Me, the monster?

Quiet!
Where is he?

He disappeared.
How?

He went that way!

There he is!

What's happening?
This racket, police sirens--

Isn't he the one
who owes us money?

The dead man in the telegram?
The clock? That Loris?

Excuse me.

Stay there.

The antique dealer!

Stop, thief!

You owe me 1.2 million lira!

I'll squeeze it out of you!

How much does he owe you?

I can't believe it!

Look how many people he swindled!
The thief!

Professor?

I rang, but no one answered.

I took the liberty of coming
through the window.

It's me, Professor.

Don't be afraid.

Professor, are you there?

Hi, Jessica.

What a mess.
It's revolting.

We haven't found all the body parts.

Professor?

Professor, I'm here.

It's Loris.

I studied Chinese with you.

I came through the window.

Don't be afraid. It's me.

Perhaps you haven't heard
about that monster in the area...

who chops women to pieces.

It's me. Well, it's not me...

but they think it's me.

Me, the monster!

Me, that monster who does--

How could they--
Help me!

You could be a good alibi.

If they ask you,
"Have you seen the monster?" say no.

They've been chasing me all day.

The police are after me.
Everyone in my building. Strangers.

Me, the monster?
How could they think that?

A policeman with his gun pointed--

he made me-- all day long--

"July 29"?
It's sour. Be careful.

They made me-- all day long--

I got home and didn't realize.

I got home, all relaxed.

I didn't know about it--
"the monster"!

They began to shout "monster" at me.

It's just like me, seeing someone
like you, all sweaty...

with a little mud,
a few red stains--

Can't I have a stain?
And shouting, "He's the monster"...

because he has a...

a red stain, sour milk...

a hand in his coat.

Is everyone a monster then?

Can't I go out with a woman's hand...

in my--

Professor, I'll say good-bye now.

It's late.
I was just passing by.

You're in good shape.

I'd give you a hand,
but I see you already have one.

The temperature's dropped.

It was chilly on my way here.

Take it easy, Professor.

Take it easy!

Upstairs, on the left.

Stop! Don't move! Quiet!

Hands on your head, both of you!

Quiet!

Come on, quiet! Relax!

Come out slowly.

Come on. Relax.

Slowly.

Take it easy.

Relax.

Shut up!

That's not him.

- The professor's at home.
- Is he armed?

No. He's in a sorry state.
He's sick.

Get him out of here.

Hello, Professor. How are you?

Not too good.

Come outside.

Just a minute!

Just a minute!

Absolutely terrifying.
Get in.

I'll come too.

Listen.

There are three camels--
a red one with a hump...

a yellow one with three humps,
a black one with no hump.

Watch my lips.
There are three camels--

Are you sure the manager
had nothing to do with this?

- Who?
- The ma--

Forget it.
It's not possible.

Tell me. If I had given you
one of those slurpy kisses...

would you have shot me?

It depends on how you did it.

It's incredible.
I don't understand--

You have to explain it to me.

When you bent down
to pick those things up...

if I'd grabbed you,
would you have shot me?

I don't know.

- If I--
- If you what?

If I--

If I--

For example, if I--

Or I won't get this straight.

If I-- Stop.
Did this to you--

If I did this to you--

Good evening.

Sorry to disturb you,
but I need my car.

- Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

- Have a nice walk.
- Thank you.