All language subtitles for Riverdale.S07E13.WEB (SDH)

[sinister music playing]

[exhales]

[Jughead]
How does a fire start?

Sometimes with a kindly teacher

encouraging an eager student
to pursue his love of poetry.

[elevator dings]

Or perhaps it sparks
with a chance encounter
in an elevator.

Or in Betty Cooper's bedroom
with a suddenly
missing typewriter...

and telephone.

[gasps]

Or maybe the inferno
that would soon consume
Riverdale High begins...

in a classroom.

[applause]

Oh, that was wonderful,
Betty and Kevin.

I don't think
that I have ever heard

those words spoken aloud
so beautifully.

And I saw A Cat
on a Hot Tin Roof
on Broadway. [chuckles]

That's enough, Mrs. Thornton.

[Thornton] I beg your pardon,
Principal Featherhead?

I'm in the middle
of teaching my class.

This is no longer your class.

Please step
out into the hall, ma'am.

Is this a gag? What's going on?

It's all right, class.

I'm certain that this is
a simple misunderstanding.

Alas, this is not a gag,

nor is it
a simple misunderstanding.

Mrs. Thornton has been
relieved of her duties.

And until we can find
a permanent replacement,

you'll be taught by my wife,

Mrs. Blossom.

[ominous music playing]

Hello, children.

Well, what's the dealio
with Mrs. Thornton?

Your former teacher

represents a clear
and present danger
to the American way.

Mrs. Thornton is under
suspicion of being a communist.

[all chattering]

The Red Menace
has come to Riverdale.

[Clifford] Which is why you all
have to remain vigilant.

If you see something,

say something.

Archie, you've been
spending time with
Mrs. Thornton after school.

I mean, clue us in.

Have you noticed anything
strange about her?

Not at all.

Mrs. Thornton's been
helping me with my...

Uh--

I'm telling you,
this is a mistake.

Mrs. Thornton is no communist.

Far be it from me to defend
my ghoul of a father,

but even he can't get
a teacher fired without
just cause or evidence.

I wouldn't be so sure.

You can't believe
what Hollywood's been like.

I mean,
the whole town's terrified,

gripped by paranoia.

A few years ago,

Senator McCarthy
launched a crusade.

He claimed Russian spies
were using TV and movies

to brainwash
the American public.

I remember my mom and dad
talking about that.

Didn't McCarthy keep a list
of known communists?

Yes, but he made it all up.

Accused people left and right.

Used fearmongering
to amass power.

He held congressional hearings,

had the FBI
investigate studios.

Pressured people to name names.

Targeting the innocent
to gain even more power
and influence.

Uh, come on, guys.
This is America. Okay?

If you're innocent,
you have nothing
to worry about.

I wish I could
believe that, Kevin,

but I have seen it
happen firsthand.

[Ethel] Oh, my gosh, Jughead,
I can't believe this is
really happening.

[Jughead] Oh, It is.

It's the publication
of your very first comic.

-Our comic. [giggles]
-Oh, come on.

Excuse me,
could we please get two copies

of the newest issue
of Pit of the Perverse, please?

We wrote and drew
the main story in it.

Oh, from Pep Comics?

Yeah. We sent that bundle back.

Oh. You sent it back? How come?

Because I don't sell
crummy smut like that anymore.

It's disgusting!

And un-American.

Go! Get gone!

[Cheryl] You summoned me?

There have been allegations
made against you

about an illicit kiss
on Halloween night.

I... I don't know
anything about that.

We're not upset
with you, Cheryl.

You are at the mercy
of a condition

that is beyond your control.

But luckily,
thanks to your father's status,

we were able to work out a deal

that will save you
from being ruined

by this accusation.

That is, provided you cooperate

with the ongoing investigation
at Riverdale High.

Is this related
to what happened
to Mrs. Thornton today?

It's all of a piece.

Being a communist,

engaging in deviant
sexual behavior...

it's un-American.

It's corrupt. It's dissident.

I won't name names
so you and your cronies

can rip apart
my high school chums

like the pack of
ravenous jackals you are.

Oh, no. We already
have the names, Cheryl.

Administration has compiled
a list of students

strongly suspected
of unnatural proclivities.

All we need you to do
is corroborate the names

so we can shore up
our cases against them.

And...

so you can redeem yourself.

And if I refuse?

What will you do?

Honestly, you wanna
send me away from
this Godforsaken house?

I would welcome
the change of scenery.

The further away from
you and Mumsy, the better.

Cheryl!

If you refuse to cooperate,

you will remain
under unwelcome scrutiny.

Very well.

We will be forced
to take away the one thing
you truly care about.

Your beloved River Vixens.

Anything but that, Daddy.
Please.

Do not doubt our resolve, girl.

You have a choice to make.

A choice that may very well
affect the rest of your life.

[elevator dings]

Daddy?

Mija.

Knock me over with a feather.
What are you doing here?

Our estrangement
has been weighing on me.

I thought it was time
to come see you.

That may be partly true, Daddy,

but you always have
some ulterior motive.

Always.

Well, I did want to give you
this in person.

Why are you in the doghouse
with Mom this time, Daddy?

Were you flirting
with a script girl?

Yeah, your mother is...

-a bit peeved with me, yes.
-Mm.

You know how she can be
about even the most
casual flirtations.

Thought it would be best for me

to get out of town
for a few days,
let her cool off.

But more than that,
I wanted to see you.

I wanted to see what your life
is like in Riverdale.

Meet your friends.

What do you say, mija?
Can we drop the third degree?

Won't you give your
dear old poppy a hug?

[chuckles softly]

[bell chimes]

[indistinct chatter]

-[Kevin] Check.
-No.

Oh, peachy keen.

You're all in one place.

Everyone, I'd like
to introduce you to my father.

-Hiram Lodge.
-How do you do?

Please, call me Hiram.

Mr. Lodge. Holy mackerel.

You're even more
dashing in person.

-[chuckles softly]
-What are you doing here?

Isn't your show Oh, Mija
filming right now?

In fact, we're on hiatus.

[chuckles excitedly]

-Daddy, these are
all my school chums.
-Yeah.

That's Betty.

It's so nice
to meet you, Mr. Lodge.

We're such big fans
of your television program.

Especially the first season.

It kind of went
downhill after that.

[Hiram] Mm.

Please. Enough Hollywood talk.

Daddy wants to see

what simple
small town life is like.

So for starters,

he'll be joining
our English class.

Your principal,
who's a fan of mine,

asked me to be
sort of a guest lecturer.

It's my understanding

you're working
on some dramatic scenes
this week?

Who's up to bat first?

[Julian] To be or not to be...

that is the question.

-Whether it's nobler to--
-I'm sorry. I'm...

I have to stop you right there.

Tell me.
Julian, was it? Julian.

Do you even know
what you're saying
in this monologue?

Well, I didn't grow up
in Denmark, if that's
what you're asking.

[Hiram] It's not.

I don't care where you grew up.

Are you a man?

-Course I am.
-So was Hamlet.

So be a man.

-[Julian scoffs]
-Speak from your guts.

-[students chuckle]
-[Julian] To be--

No, no. You have to believe
what you're saying.

Hamlet was
contemplating suicide.

[students murmuring]

You gotta find the truth
in what you're saying, Julian.

And never forget...

words have power.

[exhales]

How can I help you,
Miss Cooper?

Well, Principal Featherhead,
as you know,

Mrs. Thornton
was the faculty advisor
for the Blue and Gold.

And now that she's...

no longer with us...

I'm shutting down
the Blue and Gold.

We no longer
have the funds to support it.

What?

We're a high school. We need
a high school newspaper.

Why is that?

Well, to keep
the students informed.

Let's be realistic, Betty.

The Blue and Gold
has never exactly qualified

as hard-hitting journalism,
has it?

Well, not for a lack
of trying on our part.

[chuckles softly]

You're a bright girl, Betty.

Unlike most teenagers,

you may, one day,

have something important
to say.

But that day is not today.

[continues writing]

[ominous music playing]

They have all of our names.

I saw the list.
Each of you were on it.

And if I don't corroborate it,
they're going to take
the Vixens away from me.

I repeat, the Vixens.

I can't believe your father's
putting the screws to you.

You can't confirm
that list, Cheryl.

Even if we're already
in their crosshairs.

Cheryl would never cave.
Would you, babe?

Of course not. No.

But if I'm going to outmaneuver
the powers that be,

I have to figure out

who started this particular
witch hunt and why.

[Toni] Good question.

Who stands to gain

from getting you off
the Vixens, Cheryl?

I can think of one witch

who has always wanted
to snatch my crown.

Stop right there,
you fake Judas!

Oh, I don't know

what you could possibly
be referring to, Cheryl.

Of course you do, Evelyn.

You've always wanted
to usurp me

and claim
the Vixens for yourself.

I'd be a better leader
and role model to them,

that's for sure.

My God.

How long have you hated me?

Since the beginning.

Your accusations are baseless.

You weren't even
at the Babylonium
on Halloween night.

You couldn't possibly
have seen me kiss anyone.

No, but I heard about it.

And I did see you
and your gal pal

getting handsy at the diner.

[ominous music playing]

[Featherhead] Mr. Andrews...

it's come to our attention
that Mrs. Thornton

showed a particular interest
in you.

Was she trying
to indoctrinate you?

Huh?

Mrs. Thornton was just
helping me with my poetry, sir.

That's all. She gave me
some books to read.

That's how the enemy operates,

by poisoning
impressionable minds.

Soon they'll start
questioning their leaders,

even their own country.

And then it's a slippery slope
to civil disobedience...

and revolution.

It's happening
right now in Cuba.

It must not happen
in Riverdale.

[Hiram] Well, it's not
Grauman's Chinese,

but this place is tremendous.

Well, I'm technically on duty,

but I was thinking
you might catch
our afternoon show,

then we can pick up something
from Pops for dinner.

I love it.

The coming attractions
are about to start.

I'll just be out here
manning the concession stand.

[chuckles] A popcorn, please.
Just a little butter. Thanks.

[song playing in theater]

Let me ask you a question.

How well do you know that man?

[scoffs] He's my father.

Mr. Fieldstone,
we have a crisis on our hands.

There's not
a single joint in town

that's carrying Pep Comics.

Yeah, it's happening
all over the country.

Not just here.

Where newsstands
are being raided

by holy rollers and cops.

Entire bundles of comics
are being returned.

Selling comics isn't illegal?

No!

But in the eyes
of Joe and Jane Public,

it's immoral.

Thank you.

It's like peddling pornography.

I mean, we have moms
calling other moms

telling them not to buy
their Home Journal

from any newsstand

that sells crime
or horror comics.

The world's gone cuckoo.

[scoffs]
You're telling me, freckles.

[sighs]

And when we get hate mail,

it's more graphic
than anything
we've ever published.

Gee willikers.

Well, what are we gonna do,
Mr. Fieldstone?

We're gonna hunker down.

We're gonna weather this storm.

Now I'm gonna call

all the other
comic book publishers

and see how they're faring.

Oh, Mr. Fieldstone.

I was wondering
if it would be okay

if I had a few copies of
Pit of the Perverse Number 32.

It's my first issue

and I really need some
for my personal collection.

[laughing]

Sure, uh...
There's bundles over there.

-[telephone ringing]
-[sighs wearily]

[Ethel] Holy smokes!

-Oh!
-Oh, it's even better
than I imagined.

It's such a shame

that no one's gonna
get a chance to see it.

Yeah.

[whimsical music playing]

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

[Betty] It doesn't matter
what my name is.

I could be any of you,
but I feel like a prisoner.

Too young to make
my own decisions,

but old enough to recognize

that the world
is a dark, fearful place.

I'm speaking of my status
as a teenager.

Though we might not always
have the right words,

I want to know your dreams,

your desires,
your hopes and fears.

This is your newsletter.

This is The Teenage Mystique,

a forum for all the thoughts
and questions

you're too scared
to otherwise share.

Send me your letters
anonymously

to the PO box below.

You can address them to...

The Girl Next Door.

[jazz music playing]

[music ends]

[doorknob rattling,
knock on door]

What are you doing
in here, Archie?

Uh, nothing, just...

Uh, I was just
doing some writing.

Your principal called,

and told me
about this business
with Edith Thornton.

Mrs. Thornton didn't try to
indoctrinate me, Uncle Frank.

That's not what I wanted
to talk to you about, Archie.

You're not serious

about all this poetry malarkey,
are you?

I mean, it's fine
if you want to write a poem

for a gal
that you wanna get with.

But beyond that,

well, people might get
the wrong idea about you.

We don't want that.

Especially not
at a time like this.

[slurping]

Mija, you're awfully quiet.

Daddy...

why is the FBI following you?

One of their agents

questioned me
at the Babylonium.

The FBI is investigating me
as a possible communist.

And why in God's name
would they be doing that?

Last summer,
I took a trip to Cuba.

I remember.

The FBI's claiming
that I met with

dissidents and revolutionaries
while I was there.

Of course I didn't.

I was... I was buying cigars.

Is that why
you came here to Riverdale?

To hide out?

Yes, mija.

But also because
I need your help.

A favor.

What's the favor?

I need you to testify
that we were in Cuba together.

That it was
a father-daughter trip

celebrating your confirmation.

And that I didn't meet
with any revolutionaries.

I have to think
about it, Daddy.

I mean... I mean, of course
I want to help you, but...

but lying to the government...
[chuckles nervously]

That's... that scares me.

Of course. You take
all the time that you need.

I'm meeting
with a lawyer tomorrow

in New York.

Hopefully, he can make

this whole thing go away

and you'll be off the hook.

But if not...

I know
you'll do the right thing.

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs] Shouldn't you
be in New York,

bird dogging my father?

My partner is.

I've been assigned
to follow you.

How about you stop
following the both of us,

since you don't have
a shred of proof

to back up
these sham claims of yours?

Get in. I'll show you proof.

But not here.

[car starting]

[suspenseful music playing]

Veronica?

Now, despite
what you may believe...

your father
is not a good person.

He's un-American.

Now, while he was in Cuba,
he met with Vidal Maestro,

who's someone we've been
tracking for a while now.

A revolutionary
who's got big, scary ideas

about taking over Cuba.

Then the free world.

Archie, how did you
even find me?

Honestly, your name's
in the phone book.

Oh, of course.

Well...

as you can see,

I'm moving.

Well, where you going, Mrs. T?

I have a job waiting for me

at the public library
in Greendale.

It's just volunteer,

but they're less judgmental
across Sweetwater River.

I wish I knew
how to make sense of everything

that's happening in the world.

I have something.

It might help.

It's a play
written by Arthur Miller...

which might help you understand
these strange times

that we find ourselves in.

[chuckles softly]

That's perfect timing, Mrs. T.

I need to present
a dramatic scene
for class this week.

I was gonna do

Biff's monologue
from Death of a Salesman.

[chuckles]

Well, you are a Biff type.

But you're so much more,
including a wonderful writer.

Words have power, Archie.

Use them for good

to make the world
a better, freer place.

Would you like a snack?

-Uh, I'm okay.
-Okay.

♪ Girl, you must be
The devil's child ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Girl, you must be
The devil's child ♪

♪ Just the sight of you
'Bout to drive me wild ♪

[song continues]

[slurping]

I feel as if I can't breathe.

Like, like the walls
are closing in on me.

Can I really
relinquish my Vixens

to some wretched, power hungry
she-hag like Evelyn Evernever?

I have to focus
on the greater good.

But what is the greater good?

Cheryl, we've been talking

and we have a plan
that could possibly
short circuit this witch hunt.

At least in the short term.

What's the plan?

We would play pretend.

We make people believe
that you're dating Kevin

and that I'm dating Clay.

That would take the wind
out of this inquisition.

Hopefully until graduation.

And privately, we can be
exactly who we are.

Toni, hiding your true self

and pretending to be
something you're not

goes against every fiber
of your being.

Isn't such play acting
a betrayal of everything
you stand for?

It is.

But for you,

for all our sakes...

I can live with that.

[dreamy music playing]

[door opens]

Mija, what are you
doing up this hour?

Waiting for you.

[door closes]

How was New York?

[sighs softly]

Not as productive
as I would have liked.

I'm going to be named.

I thought I could buy my way
out of this debacle,

but I can't.

[sighs wearily]

-Which means...
-You need me to lie.

[sighs softly]

Because you weren't in Cuba
to buy cigars.

Of course I was.

Maybe.

But while you were there,

you went to a party
at the Tropicana.

Didn't you?

A party that Vidal Maestro
also attended.

And don't bother lying.
I saw the picture.

It's possible that we were
both at the Tropicana
on the same night,

but I was not there for him.

No.

No, by the looks of it,

you were there
for some blonde honey.

Is that her name, Daddy?

Honey?

No.

It's Kelly.

[scoffs]

What is she, your mistress?

[exhales] Why don't you
just tell the FBI

that that's why
you were in Cuba?

Because I signed
a morality clause
with the studio.

[scoffs]

So yes,

I do need you, Veronica.

The family needs you.

And if you don't
corroborate my story,

we would lose everything.

But I already lost
everything, Daddy.

You sent me away

from everyone I knew.

You banished me to this place
where I knew no one

and where I had nothing.

You taught me that I can
survive losing everything.

The worst happening.

The real question is, can you?

[Veronica scoffs]

This isn't about protecting me.

It's about your precious show.

Because that is all
you've ever cared about.

Maybe you shouldn't be
asking me for a favor

right now, Daddy.

Maybe instead, you should be
asking me for mercy.

[dramatic music playing]

[exhales]

♪ Each time we have a quarrel
It almost breaks my heart ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm so afraid ♪

♪ That we will have to part ♪

♪ Each night I ask
The stars up above ♪

♪ Why must I be
A teenager in love? ♪

♪ In love ♪

♪ Why must I be
A teenager in love? ♪

♪ In love ♪

♪ Why must I be
A teenager in love? ♪

Uh... [clears throat]

This is from the end of, uh,

Arthur Miller's play,
The Crucible.

Which is about a town

that's ripped apart
by lies and accusations.

And one man, John Proctor,

he struggles to do what's right
in a... in a crazy world,

at a crazy time.

But he can't deny who he is.

And he can't forsake his name
and sign a false accusation.

[exhales]

You cannot use me.

I'm John Proctor.

You cannot use me.

Mr. Proctor, I must have good
and legal proof that--

[Archie] You are
the high court!

Your word is good enough!

Tell them, tell them--
Tell them, I confessed myself.

Say Proctor broke to his knees
and wept like a woman.

Why? Explain to me,
Mr. Proctor, why you will not.

[yelling]
Because it is my name!

And I cannot have
another in my life!

Because I lie
and I sign myself to lies.

Because I am not worth

the dust on the feet of them
that you have hanged.

How can I live without my name?

I've given you my soul.

Leave me my name.

Cheryl.

I have told Dr. Werthers
and Principal Featherhead

all about our discussion,

and how it would be
in your best interest

to cooperate
with our investigation.

Never.

Cheryl...

The work you're
doing here is dirty,
and I won't be a party to it.

You're willing to risk
losing the Vixens?

I couldn't sign
that piece of paper

and then lead them
in good conscience.

Therefore, I, Cheryl Blossom,

hereby and willingly

renounce my stewardship
of the River Vixens.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

my boyfriend,
Kevin Keller, and I

are going on a double date.

With Toni Topaz
and her boyfriend, Clay Walker.

Toodles.

In the end, I did
what needed to be done.

Well, we're incredibly
grateful, Cheryl.

We know how much
the Vixens mean to you.

Yeah.

In a just world, a young woman
should be able to love

who she chooses
and be a cheerleader,

but clearly we don't live
in a just world.

So when given
the unspeakable choice...

there was no choice.

This is so wrong.

All of it.

It's just wrong.

But I... I do take some comfort

in the fact that without
the added scrutiny

of being captain
of the River Vixens,

at least with you three,
I can continue living my truth.

And may Evelyn Evernever

fall off the top
of the Vixen pyramid

and break her scrawny neck.

[all laughing]

[fizzes]

That was quite
the performance, Archie.

Uh, thanks, Veronica.

And your scene today

gave me a lot to think about.

So, thank you for that,
Mr. Proctor.

[chuckles softly]

[music playing on record]

I hear you've got
Pit of the Perverse Number 32.

Maybe I do.

It's pretty hot issue.

How hot?

So hot you're gonna
burn your fingertips.

Cover price is 10 cents,
but I'm going to need 25.

-Twenty?
-No.

[sighs]

Fine.

Pit 32.

[whistle blows]

I told you, Sheriff.
I knew someone was supplying...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-...my adventure scouts
with comic books.

Jig's up, Jughead.
Hand 'em over.

[Ethel sighs]

Well, it was a gas
while it lasted. Huh?

At least we made a few bucks.

And you got your
comic book out there.

How do you feel,
now that you're
a legit published artist?

Proud.

I'm really,
really proud of myself.

You should be.

It's a really swell comic book.

Here.

[upbeat rock music playing]

-God bless America.
-God bless America.

[cutlery scraping]

There's a new episode
of Oh, Mija premiering tonight.

I don't suppose you'd like to--

If you'll excuse me, Daddy,

I'm gonna take this
into my room.

I have to finish
memorizing a monologue

for school tomorrow.

[suspenseful music playing]

[woman] Excuse me.

Are you Archie Andrews?

I am. Yes.

I'm Geraldine Grundy.

I'm taking over
from Mrs. Thornton's class.

I hear you're a wonderful poet.

You... You did?

Mrs. Thornton was my mentor
at Mount Holyoke.

She said you were very special.

[chuckles]

Well, Mrs...
Mrs. Thornton's the best.

She is... the best.

I'm no Mrs. Thornton,

but if you would
like to continue

working on your poetry
with someone,

I would... be happy to help.

Wow.

Yeah, but, uh,

maybe we could keep it quiet
in between us?

There's a lot of people
who don't like the idea

of me writing poetry.

My uncle, who's also
my basketball coach, for one.

I understand.

-[clears throat]
-Yeah.

[whispering] It could be
our little secret.

-[chuckles softly]
-[in normal voice] Archie...

Have you ever met a real poet?

Oh, gosh, no. No.

Don't they all
live in New York?

[chuckles]

No.

Not all of them.

My husband is a poet,

and he lives here with me.

If you like, I can give you

a collection of his poetry
for you to read.

Well, sure.

That sounds swell, Mrs. Grundy.
Thank you.

[Sheriff Keller]
This is all of it.

Everything we confiscated
from Jughead and Ethel's,

and the news dealers
that are still

peddling comic books.

[Dr. Werthers]
We have failed, gentlemen.

We have not yet
been persuasive enough

in our crusade
against comic books.

So now the...

the days of half measures
are over.

I believe
now is the moment for...

full measures.

You have something in mind?

Oh, yes.

Ah...

[Veronica] The scene
I'll be performing today

is a monologue from King Lear
by William Shakespeare.

Lear has asked
his daughter, Cordelia,

to profess her love for him.

To prove her devotion to him.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

Unhappy that I am...

I cannot heave my heart
into my mouth.

I love Your Majesty.

According to my bond.

No more nor less.

[chuckles softly]

Good my Lord,

you have begot me,

bred me,

loved me.

I return those duties back
as are right fit.

Obey you,

love you...

[voice breaking] ...and most...

honor you.

Sure, I shall never
marry like my sisters.

To love my father all.

Hello, Daddy.

What's that, mija?

It's a signed affidavit

which confirms
that we went to Cuba

on a father-daughter
cigar buying trip.

Thank you, mija.

If anything will help calm
these troubled waters,

it's your word.

Well, I didn't do it for you.
I did it for Mom.

And by the way,

you have to be honest with her.

About Kelly.

And why are you
asking this of me?

You may not be a communist,
but you are a philanderer.

And Mom does not deserve
to be disrespected in that way.

And trust me,
if you don't tell her, I will.

All right. I'll do it.

You're also going to sign

the Pembrooke's ownership
over to me.

-[scoffs]
-Clear and outright.

I need to know
that I'll always have a home.

Even if it's not in Los Angeles
and not with you.

[contemplative music playing]

Okay.

[telephone ringing]

Hi. Uh, I found this card
in my PO box.

Can you tell me what it means?

Oh, we put those in the boxes

when we can't fit
all the mail in due to volume.

-Volume?
-Mm-hmm.

Someone's popular.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Have a nice day.

You, too.

You and Daddy must have
passed each other

flying through the air.

[chuckles]

Well, now that
you mention it, Veronica,

I did feel some turbulence.

With more to come, I'm afraid.

[sighs softly]

What's happening, Mom?

As soon as I get back
to Los Angeles,

your father and I are going
to hold a press conference

announcing that
the upcoming season of Oh, Mija

will be its last.

-Oh.
-Yes.

Your father will
say a few words

and I'll say something like...

"It has been
the honor of my life

bringing such joy and laughter

into the homes of our fans
far and wide.

But after seven long seasons,

I am ready for something new."

Which is the truth.

Yes, I can imagine.

What we are not
going to announce,

at least not until
after the last episode airs,

is that your father and I
are getting a divorce.

[melancholic music playing]

But what are you
going to do, Mom?

What, without the show
or without your father?

[chuckles softly]

I'm not sure.

But for the first time,
in a... very long time,

I'm excited
for whatever the future holds.

So one thing
that I was thinking:

what about an
East Coast Christmas?

It's been ages
since we've done that.

Christmas in New York?

Just the two of us?

Just the two of us.

[chuckles softly]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Dilton, what gives?

It's the kookiest thing,
Jughead.

Principal Featherhead
put out the word.

He's buying comic books
off of us.

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Featherhead must be
trying to dipsy-doodle us.

What, first he bans 'em
and now he wants to buy 'em?

What game is this? What--

Is Featherhead so desperate
to get 'em off our hands?

Who knows?
But I've read these already,

so I figure, what's the harm?

[Jughead] The dark truth
behind principal
Featherhead's actions

wouldn't be revealed
until later that night.

[students clamoring]

How does a fire start?

Sometimes,
if you're not careful,

right on your front stoop.

[sinister music playing]

[bell chimes]