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1
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,521
- [organ playing]
- [people crying]
2
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,316
Today, we honor our angsty
king, taken too soon.
3
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,359
If Batman were here,
I'm sure he'd echo
4
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:27,195
the sentiments of
rap-rock legends
5
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:30,364
and sensitive poets Linkin
Park, but for copyright reasons,
6
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:33,117
I am not allowed to say them
as this is being broadcast.
7
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,369
I am sending around
a donation basket.
8
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,205
If we reach the 15k needed
9
00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:39,207
for the rights by the
end of the funeral,
10
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,583
I will sing.
11
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,668
In conclusion, thank you
for mourning with us,
12
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,730
even though being within a
few feet of the Bat Family
13
00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:46,255
puts you in danger
of being murdered.
14
00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:47,821
- [crowd gasps]
- [organ music stops]
15
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:50,385
And now a few words from
the girl who always knows
16
00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:53,429
the right thing to say, Batgirl.
17
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,474
Heroes are just like everyone,
and sometimes they die.
18
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,897
Okay, easy-breezy Batgirl,
never lets us down.
19
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,860
- [mechanism whirring]
- [organ music continues]
20
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,154
[indistinct chatter]
21
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:12,865
Okay, the end.
22
00:01:12,949 --> 00:01:14,826
We're not even close to
15k. Thanks for coming.
23
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,326
Please enjoy some
soup. No seconds.
24
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,915
- Miss Harley.
- Alfie!
25
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,250
Oh, thank God you're here.
26
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,519
Everyone's relying
on me to be strong,
27
00:01:23,543 --> 00:01:24,919
and I am freaking out, man.
28
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,465
Damn! Barnyard on this bitch
is dank as hell, Alfie.
29
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,509
I'll send you a case
to remember me by.
30
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,552
I won't be returning
to the manor.
31
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:36,848
Once White Collar Wine earns me enough
money to execute a white-collar crime,
32
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,435
I'll finally be sent to fancy
prison with Master Wayne.
33
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:41,894
But I need you to...
34
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:43,646
[dramatic music playing]
35
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,897
Oh, my God! They're
coming for me!
36
00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:47,859
Ahh! I've been hit!
37
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,402
[people screaming]
38
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,945
[toy bear squeaking]
39
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:56,200
Ha! I destroyed your
sad little soup truck.
40
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,326
Toyman! Did you
kill Nightwing?
41
00:01:58,453 --> 00:02:01,873
No, I just hate noodles,
and I wanted attention.
42
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,332
[Batgirl growls]
43
00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:06,627
[Flash crackling]
44
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,671
[whooshing]
45
00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,470
Even third-tier villains
are coming for us.
46
00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:18,139
If I get murked by some dumb
asshole like Crazy Quilt,
47
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:21,017
I'm gonna need you guys to go
to your graves with that info.
48
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,222
- We need to split up.
- But we're stronger together.
49
00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,854
And a bigger target.
50
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,790
She's right. I'm gonna call
my mommy to come get me.
51
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,316
I'll move in with
Alysia full-time.
52
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,943
[sighs] Okay. Okay,
silver linin',
53
00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,945
I'll move back in with Ivy.
54
00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:35,716
I mean, I miss waking up to the sounds
of her tearing apart a cardboard box
55
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,534
that's taken up all the
space in our recycling bin.
56
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,453
Well, I guess this is it.
57
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:44,165
To Nightwing, who, in death,
proved what he never could in life,
58
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:47,126
that the Bat Family
is weaker than ever.
59
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,461
[theme music playing]
60
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:54,175
[Livewire] Wow!
Nightbitch is dead.
61
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,593
You love to see it.
62
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:59,305
Another hero down! And
on your watch, Ivy.
63
00:02:59,389 --> 00:03:00,807
It's a good thing
I'm in the tub.
64
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:03,393
- Because I'm soaked.
- [Poison Ivy] Ugh!
65
00:03:03,518 --> 00:03:05,395
I should call Harley.
66
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,082
No. The most important thing is to get
your condolence statement out there.
67
00:03:08,106 --> 00:03:08,940
Bring us our phones.
68
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,361
Veronica, you're starting
too look too amazing.
69
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:15,988
Get out before it
turns you crazy.
70
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:20,493
- What should I write?
- Ahh! You already posted six hours ago.
71
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,370
You are on top of it.
72
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,704
How long have you known?
73
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,832
Wait. What? Let me see that.
74
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,751
"Thank you to everyone who's been
reaching out about Nightwing's death.
75
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,461
As I sit here in
my power caftan,
76
00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:31,814
I feel grateful for the guidance
77
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:33,464
of my dear mentor, Lex Luthor."
78
00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:34,757
I did not write that.
79
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,300
Who has access to your account?
80
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,468
[sighs] Oh, my God.
81
00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:38,720
My PR team. My PR team!
82
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:40,555
They need to run
things by you first.
83
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,348
My team always gives
me three options.
84
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:45,059
Funny, sassy, horny.
85
00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:47,311
Wait, you don't give all
your passwords and your PINs
86
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,595
and your keys to your PR team?
87
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,314
The only person who has my PIN
88
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,918
lives in a cage under
my kitchen table.
89
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,902
Shit. I... I need to have
a chat with the Jons.
90
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,905
Uh, wow, girl. Where
would you even be
91
00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:01,325
without the Evil Women in
Business Collective. [chuckles]
92
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,161
To us!
93
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,330
[clears throat] Thank you, uh, for
gathering for this family meeting.
94
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,082
I have a big announcement.
95
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:10,001
It's muy importante.
96
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,878
[sighs] So embarrassing
97
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,838
Just speak full Spanish
or full English.
98
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,591
- My bad, lo siento.
- Dad!
99
00:04:16,716 --> 00:04:19,886
Kids, Bethany, mi amor,
100
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:23,306
I'm going back to
villainy! [laughing evilly]
101
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,599
[Bethany gasps]
102
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,768
Ay, pero, this is a big change.
103
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,770
The kids just got used
to the chore wheel.
104
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,606
- Screw the chore wheel.
- What about our health insurance?
105
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:34,484
I'll blow up any hospital
that sends us a bill.
106
00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:36,027
Will you blow up my PE coach?
107
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,838
Can I have some poison gas
for my science project?
108
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:38,780
[Joker chuckling]
109
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:41,157
[chuckling continues]
110
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,867
There's a cashier
at More For Lex
111
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,119
who's never told me
to have a nice day.
112
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,746
So it's settled.
113
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:50,291
- Who wants to go steal some soft serve?
- [both] Yeah.
114
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:51,459
[Bethany chuckles]
115
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,669
[all cheering, laughing]
116
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,884
Ive? Ivy? Guess
who's moving in?
117
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,487
Frank, what... What
are you doing here?
118
00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:02,970
I thought you lived
at the office.
119
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,782
I did until those Jons
tried to get rid of me.
120
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:06,307
They sent me to
some fucking place
121
00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:07,975
called Bialiya
to be "repotted."
122
00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:10,103
Luckily, I escaped by
eating a truck driver.
123
00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:11,646
The Jons? Ugh!
124
00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:13,582
I don't even know what's
going on with Ivy anymore.
125
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:15,084
I mean, wait. Does she
still have red hair?
126
00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,067
Tell me everything.
127
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,860
Ooh. The NDA they made me sign
128
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,363
is as strong as that truck
driver's will to live.
129
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:25,159
[chuckles] I shouldn't have said
anything about Bialiya. [grunting]
130
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,870
Uh, hey, Frank, I'm gonna
wait up for Ivy, okay?
131
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,748
[gentle music playing]
132
00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:38,172
[Harley snoring]
133
00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:39,465
- [yells]
- Bitch! Wake up.
134
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:40,869
You sleep-stabbed
all the pillows.
135
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:43,010
- What? No, I didn't.
- Then you kicked the TV.
136
00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:46,347
I was watching Bobby Flay
make a goddamn turkey burger.
137
00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:48,057
You opened up every closet...
138
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,993
- [Harley screams] - and
you screamed for 60 seconds.
139
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,019
You know how many closets
are up in this bitch?
140
00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,580
- [Harley screams] - [Frank] Then
you shaved Catwoman's favorite cat.
141
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,106
- [trimmer whirring]
- [cat shrieks]
142
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,709
[Frank] Then you tried
to use me as a mannequin
143
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,192
to see all of
Catwoman's earrings,
144
00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:00,717
even though I kept telling you
I don't have fucking earlobes.
145
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,822
Man, I've never seen
sleepwalking like that.
146
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,032
Sleepwalking? Wait,
wait, is Ivy here?
147
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,535
No, she just dropped in and
changed from her spa blazer
148
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:08,953
to her business blazer.
149
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,681
Then she tripped over
that box on the way out.
150
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,874
She was so goddamn pissed
at whoever left it there.
151
00:06:12,999 --> 00:06:14,584
Don't worry, though.
I covered for you.
152
00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:16,544
She didn't even
notice I was here?
153
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,046
That's how covering works.
154
00:06:18,171 --> 00:06:19,797
- You're welcome.
- [sighs]
155
00:06:19,881 --> 00:06:22,133
Do you think Ivy ordered
the hit on Nightwing?
156
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:27,472
Mr. Snart, are you trying to get
top secret information from me?
157
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,890
[slurps] Mm.
158
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,308
Oh! [chuckles]
159
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,936
Oh, welcome-back-
from-paternity-leave. sheet cake?
160
00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:37,732
[chuckles] I feel so supported.
161
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,734
Okay, that makes more
sense. [chuckles]
162
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,903
Don't you have
some IT junk to do?
163
00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:43,404
I do. [chuckles]
164
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:46,032
And I'm very happy the LOD
has a childcare program.
165
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:48,409
We don't have a
childcare program.
166
00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:50,244
[chuckles] I made sure of it.
167
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,371
Oh, edgy.
168
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,082
Very modern.
169
00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:56,584
[King Shark sobbing]
170
00:06:56,667 --> 00:07:00,880
I wish I had a single
shred of self-respect.
171
00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,300
[man screams] Why?
172
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,444
What's with all this hubbub?
173
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,428
That shark stole my wish.
174
00:07:07,512 --> 00:07:09,013
Daddy's coming!
175
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,391
My babies!
176
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:14,560
Oh, look at these pups,
suckling on my cocktail weenies.
177
00:07:14,644 --> 00:07:16,062
I forgot what a good dad I am.
178
00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:17,855
Oh, I am so sorry.
179
00:07:17,939 --> 00:07:20,274
I really thought I could
be a single working dad
180
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,609
like one of those romcoms
181
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:23,277
where it's challenging at first,
182
00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:25,363
but at the end of a fun montage,
183
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,614
you balance it all.
184
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,408
Look me in the eye.
You can do this.
185
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,784
Dads can have it all.
186
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,077
So, how did you do it?
187
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,746
Great question. I'll show you.
188
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,500
[sniffs, sneezes] Ugh!
189
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,669
Oh, oh, I... Ivy. Um,
you're back early.
190
00:07:39,794 --> 00:07:41,796
Yeah, go ahead and
give me my passwords
191
00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,090
to my socials and my laptop.
192
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:47,301
Also, why do all of my
bras have underwire now?
193
00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,637
Excuse me. If there's no
wire, it's a bralette.
194
00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:50,805
Wait, there's more of you.
195
00:07:50,930 --> 00:07:53,266
Yes, there is so much to do.
196
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:54,934
[snarling, squelching]
197
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,146
Ta-da!
198
00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,165
- [Jon 6 gasps] - Jon, tell this
boss bitch her new schedule.
199
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,900
[groans] Your line of business
corsets is about to drop,
200
00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:04,753
so you'll be appearing on
Good Evening Bludhaven.
201
00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:07,321
And you'll need to take photos
with the Poison Ivy doll
202
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:09,699
once they're reissued with
less realistic buttholes.
203
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:13,911
But, yay, top of your agenda, judging the
first annual Lil' Poison Miss Ivy contest!
204
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:17,623
That's' right, sis. You're
ready to appear with children.
205
00:08:17,707 --> 00:08:19,167
It's the coup de grace for PR.
206
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,978
If you hook 'em when their
brains are still mushy,
207
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,171
you'll have a little Ivy
Army to debone frackers,
208
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:25,798
and we'll be the most
powerful PR team in the world.
209
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:30,011
Yeah, so I'm not gonna be
doing a kiddie pageant.
210
00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:31,888
- Oh, we see.
- No pageant, no problem.
211
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,142
Uh... [grunts]
212
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:38,895
[notification chimes]
213
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,193
[dramatic music playing]
214
00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:47,987
That's it. Those
fuckers are done.
215
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:51,282
[Robin] I can't believe Nightwing
had a tracker he kept hidden from us.
216
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,494
I can't believe he hid it under
a fake rock by the back door.
217
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,204
Rest his poor basic soul.
218
00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:58,539
Hey, but, you know, at
least we have a clue, right?
219
00:08:58,664 --> 00:08:59,892
I mean, whoever he was following
220
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:01,584
may have to do with his murder.
221
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,378
[Batgirl grunting]
222
00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:06,005
Hey, repressy-finger-smashy, can
you stop assaultin' the keys?
223
00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:07,889
Your bottle of sadness
is kind of distracting.
224
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,760
Your girlfriend just posted
celebrating our colleague's death.
225
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:14,514
Every celebrity has to post about
any other celebrity's death, okay?
226
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,849
Lucius, how long will it take
to get into that tracker.
227
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:20,728
Again, it's not a tracker.
It's the tracker's receptor.
228
00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:23,648
It's going to show you
where the tracker is.
229
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,359
Oh, God, they found us. Help!
230
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:27,777
[Robin grunting]
231
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:29,404
- [straining]
- [phone beeps]
232
00:09:29,487 --> 00:09:31,048
[Talia over phone] Damien,
this is your mother.
233
00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,424
I sent my associates
to procure you.
234
00:09:32,448 --> 00:09:33,491
Go with them.
235
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,784
Sounds like my momma needs me.
236
00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:37,078
You gals got this? Deuces.
237
00:09:37,203 --> 00:09:39,580
Oh, damn. We're
dropping like flies.
238
00:09:39,664 --> 00:09:41,499
Okay, it's just you and me now.
239
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,977
We should really talk, just jam
and say how we feel about all this.
240
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,337
-I'm good.
-Babs, come on. This isn't healthy.
241
00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:47,755
You know what's not healthy?
242
00:09:47,839 --> 00:09:49,632
Trying to act like
everything's normal
243
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:53,678
when your coworker's girlfriend
killed your other coworker.
244
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,138
Ivy did not kill Nightwing.
245
00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,432
She's the head of
the Legion of Doom.
246
00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,893
There is no way she didn't
have something to do with this.
247
00:10:00,977 --> 00:10:03,020
Uh. [chuckles]
Yeah. Okay, good.
248
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:04,856
Just keep letting those
emotions out, girl.
249
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:06,417
Even if you don't mean
everything that you're saying.
250
00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:08,234
[Batgirl screaming]
251
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:10,278
- [Lucius] My mug!
- [Harley] Not the tracker!
252
00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:11,612
[tracker beeping]
253
00:10:11,696 --> 00:10:14,073
[gasps] The power of
senseless violence.
254
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,702
It's at the Legion of Doom.
255
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:21,914
[phone vibrating]
256
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:24,459
[engine whirring]
257
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:29,773
Sorry, babe. I'm in a meeting.
I can't talk right now.
258
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,340
- I love you. You look great.
- Wait!
259
00:10:31,466 --> 00:10:33,676
Hey, looks like you guys
hit Mama Mac's for lunch.
260
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,553
Very dope. Hey, insider tip,
261
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:39,432
they give free mozzarella sticks
every time a hero dies, so...
262
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:41,476
Oh, now you're interested
in what we're up to?
263
00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,102
You treated us like real shit.
264
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:45,605
And everyone knows about
the free mozzarella sticks.
265
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:46,647
No, I-I-I know.
266
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:48,649
Look, I'm sorry, I fucked up.
267
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:50,544
I fucked up your debut, and I should
have been focusing on you guys,
268
00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:52,361
not sexy beverage collabs.
269
00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:54,280
You can't have our
leftovers, okay?
270
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,008
[Poison Ivy] All right,
let me level with you.
271
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,159
I really need your help
to get rid of my PR team.
272
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:01,871
You're the only people I trust
to help me. Except maybe Bane.
273
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,182
But no one knows
where he is, so...
274
00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:05,041
That sounds challenging for you.
275
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,377
But we remain very wounded
by your negligence.
276
00:11:07,502 --> 00:11:09,754
Could you please just
help me now? And then,
277
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,756
we can work on the
forgiveness part afterwards.
278
00:11:13,091 --> 00:11:15,385
- Whatever, fine.
- Yes! Oh, my God. Yes.
279
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:18,179
Hey, Terra. Could you,
like, get us some privacy?
280
00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:22,767
Okay, how are we gonna
pummel these PR pricks?
281
00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:28,106
There you are, my
esteemed PR team.
282
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:29,690
I've had a change of heart.
283
00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:31,567
- Oh?
- Hmm. Have you?
284
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,904
I have decided to host the Little
Poison Miss Ivy contest after all.
285
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:38,950
- [all gasp] Yes!
- Yeah, I realized it's in creative alignment
286
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,536
with my brand intentions.
287
00:11:41,661 --> 00:11:42,829
Yes, go off, Queen.
288
00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:45,957
And I see how it
will help me leverage
289
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,293
my identity as a,
uh, thought leader.
290
00:11:49,377 --> 00:11:50,795
- Ooh.
- My girl.
291
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,716
And since this will be my
biggest public facing event yet,
292
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,300
I'd like to order a...
293
00:11:56,384 --> 00:11:58,320
- Uh-huh, yeah...
- Oh, don't you fuckin' say it! Oh!
294
00:11:58,344 --> 00:12:00,388
Step and repeat!
295
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,390
- Oh!
- [Jons laughing]
296
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:04,434
[cheering, moaning]
297
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:10,064
I have no idea why
moms are so miffed.
298
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:12,209
Everything you need to raise
a kid is in the workplace.
299
00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:14,110
- [baby shark gurgling]
- [Gordon] Look!
300
00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:16,988
This thingy does
white noise, and...
301
00:12:18,281 --> 00:12:20,908
spits out precious memories.
302
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,994
And what used to
tickle Babs to death?
303
00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:25,079
[chuckles] Gory
crime scene photos.
304
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,081
- [baby sharks gurgling]
- Oh, the memories.
305
00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:29,333
[toilet flushing]
306
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,252
Oh, thanks.
307
00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:33,129
I can't remember the last time
308
00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:35,882
I was able to take
a shit by myself.
309
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,568
[Barbara] All right, where's
your girlfriend's office?
310
00:12:37,592 --> 00:12:39,844
Uh, whatever happened
to detective procedure
311
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,280
that you guys are so
fucking obsessed with?
312
00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:42,930
We're following the tracker.
313
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:44,783
We don't know where it's
gonna lead yet, okay?
314
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:45,975
Whoa, Harley.
315
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,560
Were you in on
killing Nightwing?
316
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:48,770
A long con?
317
00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:49,854
I dig.
318
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,606
Psh! These fucking guys.
319
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:53,024
- Obviously, I'm not.
- Zip it.
320
00:12:53,107 --> 00:12:54,484
What's that sound?
321
00:12:54,609 --> 00:12:56,378
- [upbeat music playing]
- [indistinct cheering]
322
00:12:56,402 --> 00:12:58,488
[clamoring]
323
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,323
[laughing]
324
00:13:07,789 --> 00:13:09,957
What the fuck?
325
00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:15,463
Oh, this has been very
helpful for me today.
326
00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:17,090
[shark crying]
327
00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:20,009
Well, what can I say?
I've got the royale touch.
328
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:22,804
Is that allowed?
329
00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,472
For dads it is.
330
00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:26,808
[baby shark gurgling]
331
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:30,436
Since they're sleeping, I'm gonna
force myself to take another shit.
332
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,646
[King Shark laughing]
333
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:34,816
Babs! What are you doing here?
334
00:13:34,941 --> 00:13:36,234
Where's the tracker?
335
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,569
[shushing] Inside voice.
I just got them down.
336
00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:40,905
[phone beeping]
337
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,783
[beeping faster]
338
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:47,370
- [baby shark crying] - Oh, Babs.
Stealing a buzzer from a baby.
339
00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:48,996
You always were a jealous child.
340
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,665
Why the hell do you have this?
341
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,083
Christ on a cabbage!
342
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,960
I found it in a parking garage.
343
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,379
It's a Mama Nacaroni's buzzer.
344
00:13:56,504 --> 00:13:58,339
See? "MN"?
345
00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:00,508
It's not a buzzer.
It's a tracker.
346
00:14:00,633 --> 00:14:02,051
"NW." Nightwing?
347
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,886
Ugh! It's covered in drool.
348
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,722
Now we can't test
it for forensics.
349
00:14:05,847 --> 00:14:06,931
Look at you.
350
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,516
A detective like your old man.
351
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,810
Everything she knows,
she got from me.
352
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,603
[sighs heavily] Shut up!
353
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:14,522
Whoa! Chill!
354
00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:16,647
That Bat Family does not
destroy personal property.
355
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:20,528
Oh, I see. You don't want me to
destroy your girlfriend's office,
356
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,739
even though she
destroyed our family.
357
00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:24,282
Ivy's a villain, okay?
358
00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:25,759
But I'm telling you, she
would never do this to me.
359
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:27,785
Let's see how long it
takes her to confess
360
00:14:27,869 --> 00:14:30,204
after I beat the
shit out of her.
361
00:14:32,874 --> 00:14:34,643
- [Barbara grunts] - All right,
I'm gonna go talk to Ivy.
362
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:37,211
You have fun. Mingle,
maybe flirt a little.
363
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:40,423
Hey! Where are you going?
364
00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:42,967
Hey! Yeah, you! Pour me a shot.
365
00:14:46,012 --> 00:14:47,305
Ivy! Ivy, hi. Listen.
366
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,724
Tell me you didn't murder
my coworker, please.
367
00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,100
Uh, sorry, one sec.
368
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,145
Harls, not a good time.
369
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:53,561
Just answer the question!
370
00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:54,955
Did you have anything
to do with Nightwing?
371
00:14:54,979 --> 00:14:56,481
Okay. Wow!
372
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:58,375
Hello. Do you really think
that I would do that to you?
373
00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:00,443
I... I don't... I don't
know. I don't know.
374
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,888
- Well, I didn't.
- Oh, thank God.
375
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,071
But, honestly, babe,
376
00:15:03,196 --> 00:15:04,906
if someone who works for me did,
377
00:15:05,031 --> 00:15:06,532
then, I don't know,
good for them.
378
00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,201
You know, I run
an evil business,
379
00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:10,453
and Nightwing would
be a pretty big get.
380
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,778
- Ivy!
- [sighs] Honey, I can't deal with this right now.
381
00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:15,083
I have to go judge, a
children's beauty pageant.
382
00:15:15,208 --> 00:15:16,459
[Harley grunts]
383
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:18,503
But you always say
kids with good posture
384
00:15:18,586 --> 00:15:20,380
give you the creeps.
385
00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:22,799
[spits]
386
00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:26,094
Well, will you look at
this? Tied up, taking shots.
387
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:28,429
You're a chip off the old block.
388
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,223
How about I take you
to Mama Nacaroni's?
389
00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:31,933
Someone just gave me a gift card
390
00:15:32,058 --> 00:15:33,952
- 'cause they saw me being an amazing dad.
- [Barbara spits]
391
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,354
It's Macaroni's. M.
392
00:15:36,437 --> 00:15:40,775
Well, I'm pretty sure Nacaroni is
how they pronounce it in Tuscamy.
393
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:44,445
God! You don't know the name
of my favorite restaurant.
394
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:47,281
And you didn't even call
me when Nightwing died.
395
00:15:47,407 --> 00:15:50,368
[sentimental music playing]
396
00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:52,954
Oh, I'm not teething, you idiot.
397
00:15:53,037 --> 00:15:54,956
Now leave me alone!
398
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,417
At least I got eight little
reptiles that love me.
399
00:15:59,252 --> 00:16:01,546
[eerie music playing]
400
00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:02,839
[gulps]
401
00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:03,965
[glass crashes]
402
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:04,924
Hey, Toyman.
403
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,009
I wanna play. [grunts]
404
00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:09,095
- [all gasp]
- [squeaks]
405
00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:11,597
[Barbara grunts]
406
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:13,975
[Harley gasps]
407
00:16:14,058 --> 00:16:16,769
We have gathered at the
base of this sacred goddess,
408
00:16:16,853 --> 00:16:19,689
to decide which of these
precocious children
409
00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:23,317
is most likely to be
the next Poison Ivy.
410
00:16:23,401 --> 00:16:26,279
- [crowd cheering]
- Hey, thank you so much.
411
00:16:26,362 --> 00:16:28,156
Seriously, thank
you. It's too much.
412
00:16:28,239 --> 00:16:31,492
[sighs] Looking out at
all these young faces,
413
00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:33,703
I'm reminded of a simple truth.
414
00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:38,249
That none of you will
ever be like Poison Ivy.
415
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,333
[crowd gasping]
416
00:16:40,418 --> 00:16:44,589
I was created by a
freak accident in a lab,
417
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,299
and through some
fucked-up miracle,
418
00:16:46,382 --> 00:16:48,509
I got superpowers
instead of dying.
419
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:52,013
That, combined with being
a straight-up genius,
420
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:54,265
is what makes me, me.
421
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,017
Also, I'm objectively gorgeous.
422
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,144
- So, guys, give up.
- [kids gasping]
423
00:16:58,227 --> 00:16:59,896
Not gonna happen.
424
00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:01,957
-Oh, my God. This is a publicity nightmare.
-Cut her off!
425
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:04,484
- Any questions?
- Even if these girls don't grow up to be you,
426
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:08,404
surely they won't grow up to
be special in their own way?
427
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,614
No. Yeah, I'm scanning
them right now,
428
00:17:10,698 --> 00:17:12,300
- and they're forgettable at best.
- [girl cries]
429
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,700
[Jons clamoring]
430
00:17:13,785 --> 00:17:16,079
Say that again to
my live audience.
431
00:17:16,204 --> 00:17:17,955
Oh, yeah. Happily. Yeah.
432
00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:20,392
So, while we're live, guys,
everyone look underneath your seat
433
00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:22,668
for a commemorative,
Poison Ivy doll,
434
00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:25,170
whose final design I
personally approved.
435
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,964
[gasps] The doll's
not ready yet.
436
00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:30,093
- Mommy, why is this butthole so realistic?
- [crowd gasping]
437
00:17:30,218 --> 00:17:32,762
And one more thing.
Fuck almond milk!
438
00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:34,222
[Jons] No!
439
00:17:34,347 --> 00:17:36,158
I know, I'm just, like,
no good at this PR stuff,
440
00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:39,769
so I guess you're just gonna have
to resign in disgrace, right?
441
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:42,772
[microphone feedback]
442
00:17:42,897 --> 00:17:45,108
[Jons squelching]
443
00:17:48,027 --> 00:17:50,071
[snarling]
444
00:17:50,154 --> 00:17:51,781
[growling]
445
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,211
Uh...
446
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:07,422
Eat cake. You piece of shit!
447
00:18:07,505 --> 00:18:08,673
[groans]
448
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:09,757
[grunts]
449
00:18:09,841 --> 00:18:12,760
Toyman and I are in a
weight loss contest.
450
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,596
I'm only having
sugar on Saturdays.
451
00:18:15,722 --> 00:18:17,598
- [upbeat music playing]
- [Barbara grunting]
452
00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:32,447
[vomiting]
453
00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:37,869
[grunting]
454
00:18:40,288 --> 00:18:41,414
[screaming]
455
00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:47,962
As a fan of bar fights
and emotional releases,
456
00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:49,380
I am loving this.
457
00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:52,258
Oh, hell no! [grunting]
458
00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:53,718
Thank you for using salad.
459
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:54,886
[gags]
460
00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:57,764
[people screaming]
461
00:18:57,847 --> 00:19:00,725
Guys, this seems like good of
a time as any for your debut.
462
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,565
Everybody,
463
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:11,194
I'd like to introduce
the Natural Disasters.
464
00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,321
Time to rock.
465
00:19:13,446 --> 00:19:15,406
[rumbling]
466
00:19:16,908 --> 00:19:17,909
[woman gasps] Yes.
467
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,005
[Poison Ivy screaming]
468
00:19:28,169 --> 00:19:31,047
Yes, yes. Now spit in my mouth.
469
00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,006
Ugh.
470
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:36,511
[crumbling]
471
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:40,014
You look a little inflamed.
472
00:19:40,098 --> 00:19:41,015
Get it, girl.
473
00:19:43,935 --> 00:19:45,395
Uh, I need to work
on a catchphrase,
474
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,356
but here comes my thing.
475
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:50,900
[energy trilling]
476
00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:54,320
[heart beating]
477
00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:59,158
[baby sharks snarling]
478
00:19:59,242 --> 00:20:00,451
[Giant Jon grumbling]
479
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:03,538
[baby sharks yelling]
480
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,333
[shrieking]
481
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,795
[whooshing]
482
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,338
[baby sharks chittering]
483
00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:14,799
[Terra yelling]
484
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:17,927
[Terra grunts]
485
00:20:21,973 --> 00:20:25,351
Oh, letting your underlings
fight your battles for you?
486
00:20:25,435 --> 00:20:26,894
The optics are bad.
487
00:20:26,978 --> 00:20:28,604
You need us.
488
00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:32,108
Your greatest accomplishment
was getting a nut milk
489
00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:33,276
to accept me.
490
00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:36,028
[snarling]
491
00:20:36,112 --> 00:20:39,031
[whimsical music playing]
492
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,992
- [Giant Jon groaning]
- [baby sharks] Wee!
493
00:20:43,536 --> 00:20:44,912
[Giant Jon grunts]
494
00:20:45,705 --> 00:20:47,665
We were scaling up to oat.
495
00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:50,251
Part of a five-point plan.
496
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,419
Oh!
497
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:55,840
[cheering]
498
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:58,134
Oh, my goodness. [chuckles]
499
00:20:58,259 --> 00:21:01,721
Look at you, cheering for
a giant man exploding.
500
00:21:01,804 --> 00:21:05,308
Gosh! Maybe you little freaks
can be like me after all.
501
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:06,434
[kids cheering]
502
00:21:06,559 --> 00:21:08,603
- [Babs sighs]
- Babs. Hey.
503
00:21:08,686 --> 00:21:10,605
I talked to Ivy, okay?
She didn't do it.
504
00:21:10,688 --> 00:21:13,983
Yeah. Then who
did? Santee Claus?
505
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,526
[Harley groans]
506
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:17,111
[Joker laughs wickedly]
507
00:21:17,195 --> 00:21:21,115
[chuckling] Did someone
order a rum and Joke-er?
508
00:21:21,199 --> 00:21:22,658
Well, I'm a little rusty.
509
00:21:22,784 --> 00:21:23,868
Whatever!
510
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:27,080
The fuck is this municipal
dickwad doing here?
511
00:21:27,163 --> 00:21:31,709
I'm here to announce
my return to evil.
512
00:21:31,793 --> 00:21:34,879
I know how much you've
all been missing me, so...
513
00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:37,757
I brought back one
of my classic hits.
514
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,886
Killing a member of the
Bat Family. [laughs]
515
00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,097
I killed Nightwing!
516
00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:46,140
- [laughing maliciously]
- Rum and Joker.
517
00:21:46,265 --> 00:21:49,352
[all chanting] Rum and
Joker, rum and Joker,
518
00:21:49,477 --> 00:21:52,897
Rum and Joker. Suddenly,
I want a drink.
519
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:56,984
[Barbara grunts] You
son of a... [grunts]
520
00:21:57,068 --> 00:21:58,069
[Barbara crying]
521
00:21:59,362 --> 00:22:00,988
[Joker laughing]
522
00:22:01,114 --> 00:22:03,658
[chanting continues]
523
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:11,666
What... What, am I dreaming?
524
00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:16,587
What the fuck?
525
00:22:16,671 --> 00:22:18,840
[theme music playing]
526
00:22:18,890 --> 00:22:23,440
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