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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,595 --> 00:00:27,264 - Hi. - [gasps] Oh. 2 00:00:27,297 --> 00:00:28,901 [laughs] Hello, love. 3 00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:31,239 You and Dad are going out for dinner later, right? 4 00:00:31,272 --> 00:00:33,376 Um, yeah, we've got a table booked for 7:30. 5 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,746 If we were dreadful people, 6 00:00:34,779 --> 00:00:36,750 we might even call it a date night. 7 00:00:36,783 --> 00:00:38,162 Well, before that, there's someone coming around 8 00:00:38,186 --> 00:00:39,488 who I'd like you to meet. 9 00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:42,127 - Her name's Holly. - Holly. Okay, great. 10 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,131 And she's my girlfriend. 11 00:00:44,164 --> 00:00:49,576 Hey! Hey, Ava. That's, uh, that's fantastic. 12 00:00:49,609 --> 00:00:52,514 It is. I thought it was about time. Anyway, she's brilliant. 13 00:00:52,548 --> 00:00:54,485 - You'll like her. - Of course we will. 14 00:00:54,518 --> 00:00:56,557 Don't do anything weird, but you're gonna love her. 15 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,935 - [chuckles] - It's only been two weeks, 16 00:00:57,959 --> 00:01:01,199 but it feels like ages... in a good way. 17 00:01:01,232 --> 00:01:03,536 - Do you remember that feeling? - Just about. Yes. 18 00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:04,906 Well, it's a great feeling. 19 00:01:18,934 --> 00:01:21,239 - [exhales deeply] - [cellphone rings] 20 00:01:21,272 --> 00:01:23,276 [grunts] Hey, hon. 21 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:26,282 - Paul, Amber alert. Amber alert. - What? 22 00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:27,819 I'm pretty sure Ava just came out. 23 00:01:27,852 --> 00:01:29,890 Wow! 24 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,528 [exhales deeply] Shit. It's happening. 25 00:01:32,562 --> 00:01:35,701 Yes! She wants to introduce us to her girlfriend 26 00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:37,972 before we head out tonight. Holly. 27 00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:38,983 Thought you said her name was Amber. 28 00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:41,747 Oh, Christ. It's good to laugh, isn't it, Paul? 29 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:44,351 Sorry. Yeah, yeah, all right. 30 00:01:44,384 --> 00:01:46,657 [chuckles] Listen, let's not fuck this one up, shall we? 31 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,528 Noted. I mean, it's nice, though, isn't it? 32 00:01:49,562 --> 00:01:51,499 - Nice that she's including us. - Yeah. 33 00:01:51,532 --> 00:01:52,892 - [Ava] Mum? - [whispers] Oh, fuck. 34 00:01:53,336 --> 00:01:54,982 - Hiya, love. - We're out of peanut butter. 35 00:01:55,006 --> 00:01:56,518 Do we have any more? Because Holly loves peanut butter. 36 00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:57,779 It's, like, one of her things. 37 00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:59,525 Have you checked behind Dad's horrible chutneys? 38 00:01:59,549 --> 00:02:00,785 - [doorbell rings] - [gasps] 39 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:01,753 Ooh! 40 00:02:03,422 --> 00:02:05,359 You're gonna love her, Mum. 41 00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:10,571 [singsongy] Ta-da! [chuckles] 42 00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:12,440 - Lovely to meet ya, Ally. - Hi, Ava. 43 00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:17,351 - [Ally] Oh. - It's an orange. Wine. 44 00:02:17,384 --> 00:02:19,698 Looks like auld piss, but tastes nothing like it, I promise. 45 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,960 [laughs] "Auld piss." Fantastic. 46 00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:26,703 That's... That's very, very kind of you. Thanks. 47 00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,273 [chuckles] 48 00:02:28,306 --> 00:02:30,578 - I'm Siobhan. - Yes, no, yeah, of course. 49 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:31,789 Darren's told me so much about you. 50 00:02:31,813 --> 00:02:33,450 - Oh, God, how much? - Tons. 51 00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:34,995 In fact, I thought he might have been going 52 00:02:35,019 --> 00:02:37,725 - through your bins. - Uh, Siobhan's building, uh, 53 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,495 actually has communal bins, so... 54 00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:40,874 - So, were you guys... - Uh, I wouldn't go through them 55 00:02:40,898 --> 00:02:43,838 - even if they weren't. - No. Yeah. Um... 56 00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:46,777 But were you just passing by 57 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,850 and you sensed that I needed some wine or... 58 00:02:49,883 --> 00:02:51,753 [chuckles] No, we're here for dinner. 59 00:02:51,786 --> 00:02:53,624 You invited us round for dinner? 60 00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,761 Yes, but, oh, God, no, no. That's not this week. 61 00:02:55,794 --> 00:02:57,899 - That's next week. - I don't think so. 62 00:02:57,932 --> 00:03:00,403 Mm. Um... 63 00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:01,639 Sorry. 64 00:03:04,511 --> 00:03:06,717 Shit. Shit. 65 00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,956 Yes. Oh. Susie and Chris are coming, too. Um... 66 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,727 Would you like us to bugger off? 67 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,699 No! No, no, no, no. It's fine. Come... Come on in. 68 00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:17,404 I was just about to put on a massive pot of... food. 69 00:03:17,437 --> 00:03:18,574 - Food? - Yeah. 70 00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,677 One of my favorites. [chuckles] 71 00:03:22,514 --> 00:03:23,617 [door closes] 72 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:24,585 [dish clatters] 73 00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:29,729 Is this okay? With Holly coming? 74 00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:32,669 Fine. Nice for her to meet everyone. I want this to be... 75 00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:34,573 well, not a huge thing, but a big thing. 76 00:03:34,606 --> 00:03:37,779 Okay. Right. Drinks. 77 00:03:37,812 --> 00:03:39,424 - Can I just use your bathroom? - I can show you where it is. 78 00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:41,018 Just going upstairs myself. 79 00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:50,938 [lowered voice] Right, uh, one thing. I haven't got any kids. 80 00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:52,976 - Have they died? - They haven't, 81 00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:55,347 but as far as Siobhan's concerned, they don't exist. 82 00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,959 So, you haven't told Siobhan about your twin girls? 83 00:03:56,983 --> 00:03:58,554 That's mad. 84 00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,032 I just sort of panicked at the start there. 85 00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,001 Well, how long ago was the start? 86 00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:02,528 A couple of months back. 87 00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:04,532 Siobhan is child-free, and the twins are, 88 00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:07,004 well, you know, a strong flavor. [chuckles] 89 00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,341 I think I love her, Ally. 90 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,121 I think I'd rather have Siobhan than the twins. 91 00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,549 You don't mean that. 92 00:04:12,582 --> 00:04:14,586 You know it's their 13th coming up? Birthday? 93 00:04:14,619 --> 00:04:15,897 Do you know what they asked me for? 94 00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:18,059 I thought maybe new phones, concert tickets, 95 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,096 but they asked me if I'd climb into a suitcase 96 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,467 and let them carry me around for 20 minutes. 97 00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,013 - Jesus Christ. - I think they just wanted 98 00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:25,741 to see if they could make me do it. 99 00:04:25,774 --> 00:04:27,946 You know, capitulate to their will. I mean, they're 13. 100 00:04:27,979 --> 00:04:29,625 - Did you do it? - Yes, of course I did it. 101 00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,485 - [doorbell rings] - Oh. 102 00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:33,918 Please, Ally, just for tonight, until I figure something out. 103 00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:35,092 [lowered voice] Ally! 104 00:04:37,097 --> 00:04:38,733 Susie! 105 00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:42,809 Oh, sorry, it's just me. Chris won't be joining us. 106 00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:44,779 He's busy downloading a dating app. 107 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,122 I broke it off with him on Sunday evening. 108 00:04:48,152 --> 00:04:50,390 Oh, God. Your busiest day and everything. 109 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,060 - [sighs] - Come here. 110 00:04:54,164 --> 00:04:56,368 - Oh, I got you this. - Thanks. 111 00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:59,408 Oh, hey, Ava. How are you doing? 112 00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:01,713 Susie, I didn't know you were coming. It's been ages! 113 00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:03,016 I can't wait to tell Holly 114 00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:04,586 she's about to meet Susie, the vicar. 115 00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:05,854 She's heard all about you. 116 00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:11,599 [mouthing words] 117 00:05:21,586 --> 00:05:24,926 [laughter, indistinct conversation] 118 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:27,799 Really, I'd never seen anyone taller than me 119 00:05:27,832 --> 00:05:29,803 struggle with the top shelf at the supermarket, 120 00:05:29,836 --> 00:05:34,913 much less a man, as in, you know, a young-ish man. 121 00:05:34,946 --> 00:05:38,119 And I know this is the oddest fucking thing to say out loud, 122 00:05:38,152 --> 00:05:41,960 but there was just something so sweetly pathetic about him. 123 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,831 And here we are. 124 00:05:43,864 --> 00:05:47,037 You know, like, like, in a kid's book when, say, 125 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:49,174 a crocodile makes friends with a worm. 126 00:05:49,207 --> 00:05:50,811 - Mm. - [cellphone chimes] 127 00:05:50,844 --> 00:05:53,617 Oh. Sorry. [sighs] 128 00:05:55,119 --> 00:05:58,125 Sorry. It's just, um... Uh, won't be a tick. 129 00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:01,603 What do you mean, "something urgent"? 130 00:06:02,935 --> 00:06:05,708 No, sorry. It's your night with them. 131 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,847 I can't have the girls because I'm not at home tonight. 132 00:06:10,884 --> 00:06:12,922 Okay. Right. 133 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,529 Well, your location app is wrong, Karen, 'cause... 134 00:06:16,563 --> 00:06:18,098 yeah, I'm only near Ally's house. 135 00:06:20,002 --> 00:06:23,610 [sighs] I'm actually with one of the guys from Pilates. 136 00:06:23,643 --> 00:06:24,945 Yeah, Julian. 137 00:06:25,312 --> 00:06:28,085 Yeah, we're off out on a big session of booze. 138 00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:30,624 Yeah, so don't come to Ally's. 139 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,628 Not come to Ally's 'cause I'm not here. There. 140 00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,699 Just don't go to Ally... 141 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,572 - [door closes] - You all right, Darren? 142 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,852 Mm-hmm. How do you turn off shared location on your phone? 143 00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:41,813 - I have no idea. - Oh, bugger! 144 00:06:42,682 --> 00:06:44,485 [lowered voice] Are you sure you're all right 145 00:06:44,518 --> 00:06:46,723 about the 40,000 descending here? 146 00:06:46,756 --> 00:06:48,159 Oh, no, it's fine, honestly. 147 00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,763 - The more, the merrier. - Okay. 148 00:06:49,796 --> 00:06:51,767 I actually really want Holly to meet Susie. 149 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,204 I didn't know I did, but I do. 150 00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:56,676 - [cellphone rings] - Oh. 151 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,614 [ringing continues] 152 00:06:58,647 --> 00:07:00,918 - Hi, Holly! - But I actually upped 153 00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,222 and changed parishes to Reading. 154 00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,692 - Oh. - To be with Chris 155 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,197 and his two kids. Two of them. 156 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,702 [exhales deeply] I never had kids, 157 00:07:09,735 --> 00:07:11,973 never wanted them, never once regretted it. 158 00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:15,246 Children are not easy. Right? 159 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:18,720 So I gather, yeah. 160 00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:22,795 - This is very good wine. - [glass clatters] 161 00:07:22,828 --> 00:07:24,899 - Where's this wine from? - [Paul] Hiya! 162 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:27,203 Oh, Paul's here. Great. Good on Paul. 163 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,608 - Hey. - [Ally] Hi. 164 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,851 Oh. Fuck me. What's this? Intervention? 165 00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:35,554 - Yeah. - Hi, Paul. 166 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:37,992 Hey, Sue. Sorry, I won't hug you 'cause I reek a little bit. 167 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,029 Um, sorry. I wasn't expecting to see anyone. 168 00:07:40,062 --> 00:07:41,942 - Yeah, I should have texted you. - [Darren] Paul? 169 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:43,169 - This is Siobhan. - Is it? 170 00:07:43,202 --> 00:07:44,672 - [Darren] Mm-hmm. - Hello. 171 00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,943 - Hi. - I cocked up like a big idiot, 172 00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:48,614 got my weeks in a... in a tizz. 173 00:07:48,647 --> 00:07:50,584 The... The meal out is next week, 174 00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:52,086 and the meal we're hosting is now. 175 00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:54,892 - Is it? - Yeah. 176 00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:58,767 Brilliant. Okay. Uh, I... I need a little shower, 177 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,138 so I'll, um, see you folks in a bit. 178 00:08:01,171 --> 00:08:03,710 - Any more up there? - [laughter] 179 00:08:03,743 --> 00:08:04,813 - Siobhan? - Yes. 180 00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:05,914 Cool. Right. 181 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,728 [lowered voice] Hey. Hey. 182 00:08:12,761 --> 00:08:14,732 So sorry, Paul. It's my balls up, completely. 183 00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,177 It's just a bit of a shock, that's all, 184 00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:17,672 coming into a house that looks like 185 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,116 a fucking coach station at Christmas. 186 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,887 - [chuckles] - There's enough of those fuckers 187 00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,715 - for a five-a-side. - I know. 188 00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:24,986 I was really looking forward to a nice tagine as well. 189 00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:27,758 - What are you cooking? - A chili. Uh, a sort of chili. 190 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,798 Okay. 191 00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,844 Uh, How's Ava? This can't be the evening she was expecting. 192 00:08:32,868 --> 00:08:34,939 She actually seems okay. I think she's quite 193 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,652 looking forward to a big coming out evening. 194 00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:38,647 All right, well, I'll go and say hi 195 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,753 and then get rid of this man-hum. 196 00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,222 Mm. Hang on. [sniffs] 197 00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:47,296 Do you know what? I don't hate that. 198 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,236 Sorry, was that, um... 199 00:08:50,269 --> 00:08:52,307 Oh, Darren hasn't told Siobhan about his kids. 200 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,278 - Very wise. - So, don't mention them. 201 00:08:54,311 --> 00:08:55,857 Not that we ever talk about Darren's kids, 202 00:08:55,881 --> 00:08:57,819 unless we want to feel better about ourselves. 203 00:08:57,852 --> 00:09:00,590 - [chuckles] Fair enough. - [footsteps depart] 204 00:09:03,062 --> 00:09:05,200 - [indistinct conversation] - [exhales deeply] 205 00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,736 [Holly speaks indistinctly] 206 00:09:06,769 --> 00:09:08,239 It's just... you know... 207 00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:10,243 No, it's just that I thought that... 208 00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,147 It's just a bit much, Ava, 209 00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,953 like meeting your parents, their friends, 210 00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:17,825 and, you know, an actual vicar, just like we're getting married. 211 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,729 No, I get it. Sorry. 212 00:09:19,762 --> 00:09:22,735 I just thought... I was just being silly. 213 00:09:22,768 --> 00:09:24,048 I... I'll make sure it's just us. 214 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,408 It was a nice thought. It really was. 215 00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:30,425 It'll be great to meet your mum and dad. 216 00:09:30,449 --> 00:09:32,320 No, it'll be boring. 217 00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:40,103 All right then, folks. Let's get this fucking party started 218 00:09:40,136 --> 00:09:41,973 - [laughter] - Who said pass the parcel? 219 00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:43,251 - [doorbell rings] - [Ava] I'll get it! 220 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:46,382 Oh. [sighs] 221 00:09:46,415 --> 00:09:47,183 - Hi. - Hey. 222 00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,724 Taxi for Darren? 223 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,326 Thanks, Ava. I'll take this from here. 224 00:09:55,299 --> 00:09:58,874 I'd like you to drive my mobile phone around London. 225 00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:00,109 Is this some sort of a joke? 226 00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:04,084 It's 200 pounds there... 227 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:05,688 or should it... should it be more? 228 00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,725 How much to hire you for the whole night? 229 00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,270 - This ain't Pretty Woman, mate. - 500? 230 00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:11,198 200 now and the rest when I pick up the phone? 231 00:10:11,231 --> 00:10:13,704 Please, just drive it around. My wife is looking for me, 232 00:10:13,737 --> 00:10:14,982 and my children are from The Shining. 233 00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:16,743 Please, I'm desperate. I'm a desperate man. 234 00:10:16,776 --> 00:10:20,917 I mean, I'm paying 500 pounds to give a phone a ride in a car. 235 00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:25,226 - Go on then. - God love ya. Thank you. 236 00:10:28,299 --> 00:10:30,738 I mean, they do sound like nightmare kids. 237 00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,309 I tried so hard with them. So hard. 238 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,213 But they... they just wouldn't accept me. 239 00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:36,950 - Oh. - And of course, 240 00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:39,254 Chris refused to take sides, which, of course, meant... 241 00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:41,292 That he absolutely did take sides. 242 00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:43,128 Oh, I'm so sorry, Susie. 243 00:10:43,663 --> 00:10:45,175 - Thank you. - I bet you won't miss Reading, 244 00:10:45,199 --> 00:10:46,869 - though, will you? - No. 245 00:10:47,638 --> 00:10:50,310 Although I do think Reading had a big part to play 246 00:10:50,343 --> 00:10:52,814 - in why his kids were such... - Fuckers? 247 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,121 Well, obviously I would never say that 'cause that's... 248 00:10:56,154 --> 00:11:00,764 very unchristian language, but, yeah, total fuckers. 249 00:11:00,797 --> 00:11:02,300 - [chuckles] - [knock on door] 250 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,168 [Ava] Come in. 251 00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:08,746 Hey, darling. Just, uh, came to check you're okay? 252 00:11:10,082 --> 00:11:11,418 - Fine. - Yeah? 253 00:11:17,363 --> 00:11:19,534 So, Mum told me about Holly. [laughs] 254 00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:21,205 - [claps hands] - That's... 255 00:11:21,238 --> 00:11:26,181 I'm so excited to meet her. When does she get here? 256 00:11:26,214 --> 00:11:28,452 - Soon, I hope. - Mm-hmm. 257 00:11:28,485 --> 00:11:30,557 I think she's still coming, but... 258 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,229 - [doorbell rings] - Was that the door? 259 00:11:33,262 --> 00:11:34,799 Uh, um... 260 00:11:34,832 --> 00:11:36,110 Yeah, I think so. Maybe. Oh, okay. 261 00:11:36,134 --> 00:11:37,069 Yeah. 262 00:11:41,846 --> 00:11:44,250 - All right, Bagpuss. - Hey. It's the prodigal son. 263 00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:47,424 You should have called ahead. 264 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,829 I'd have slaughtered a lamb or made you, I don't know, 265 00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,966 a fucking coat of many colors or something. 266 00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:54,070 - Everything okay? - Uh, no. 267 00:11:57,377 --> 00:12:00,249 - All right. - I've got a big favor to ask. 268 00:12:00,282 --> 00:12:02,387 My friend from the ante-natal group is a bit pissed. 269 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:04,057 He's very pissed. 270 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,328 Right. 271 00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:08,834 As in he's too pissed to go home. 272 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,546 He's on thin ice as it is with his partner. 273 00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:15,079 Do you think he could just dry out here, just for a bit? 274 00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:16,850 - [sighs] - I can't take him to Maya's. 275 00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,128 Where is he now, this pissed man? 276 00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:19,363 I've got him propped up around the back. 277 00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:22,260 I wanted to speak to you first and explain, 278 00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:25,099 but he's waiting for me to let him in. 279 00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:27,404 We've got a bit of a full house, mate. 280 00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:29,350 And as it happens, this is a big night for your sister, 281 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,946 so I don't love the idea of anything distracting. 282 00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,984 - [Ally yelps] - [Darren] Paul? 283 00:12:34,017 --> 00:12:35,554 - [clamor] - [Siobhan] Jesus Christ. 284 00:12:35,587 --> 00:12:38,092 [indistinct shouting] 285 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,494 - What's up? - Oh, God. 286 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:41,265 Hey, hey, what's up? 287 00:12:41,298 --> 00:12:43,637 Look, oh, got you now! Got... Aah! Oh! Oh, oh. 288 00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:46,442 - Aah! Get off me. - What the fuck am I looking at? 289 00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,547 [grunting] 290 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:52,020 Whoa! Hey! Fucking... Oi, oi, oi! 291 00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:54,992 - Get off him, you cunt! - [groaning] 292 00:12:57,029 --> 00:12:59,301 [groaning] 293 00:12:59,334 --> 00:13:00,436 [laughter] 294 00:13:00,469 --> 00:13:02,908 Then the sweaty dicker just 295 00:13:02,941 --> 00:13:06,181 drops down over the wall, like, out of nowhere, 296 00:13:06,214 --> 00:13:08,252 and I yelped 'cause I thought that we were... 297 00:13:08,285 --> 00:13:09,521 We were gonna be robbed. 298 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,659 Then suddenly, Carl just swooped down 299 00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:14,197 onto him like a big, bald swan. 300 00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,401 - You're a hero, Carl. - [Darren] Yeah, Carl. 301 00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:18,038 I just had a fucking fight. 302 00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:20,276 - Yes, you did, mate. - Oh, fucking hell. 303 00:13:20,309 --> 00:13:22,648 Fucking Jesus. Yes! 304 00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:24,585 Oh, I haven't had a fight since Spike Island. 305 00:13:24,618 --> 00:13:27,323 I haven't been this happy since Spike fucking Island. 306 00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:28,994 I... I'm so sorry. 307 00:13:29,027 --> 00:13:30,530 Yes, and so you should be, mate. 308 00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:33,469 Carl, you're a Stone Roses fan? 309 00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:35,473 Spike Island, Paul. 310 00:13:35,506 --> 00:13:37,912 Just, yeah, Spike fucking Island, you know? 311 00:13:37,945 --> 00:13:39,414 [exhales deeply, sniffles] 312 00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:41,427 Jesus Christ, Gaz. Have you just gone and done more? 313 00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,222 Listen, folks. Um... 314 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,424 - Oh, oh. - Hey, look, 315 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,063 I'm... I'm all apologies, okay? 316 00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:51,071 But I've got a baby on the way, all right, like Luke here, 317 00:13:51,104 --> 00:13:53,042 - and we're just... - Right. 318 00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,079 [sighs] ...we're just coping, you know? 319 00:13:55,112 --> 00:13:58,352 We got a connection, me and Luke, haven't we? 320 00:13:58,385 --> 00:13:59,922 You know, I think some people, they... 321 00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,227 they... they come into your life to teach you something. 322 00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:04,064 [sniffles] You know? 323 00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:05,466 And your son has done just that. 324 00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:07,237 Unbelievable. 325 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,216 I think we've both kind of realized, haven't we, Luke, 326 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,279 that we've got to just squeeze the decadence in now, don't we? 327 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:16,388 "We"? 328 00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,593 Are you doing fucking coke, Luke? 329 00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:21,666 No, I'm not! He is. He definitely is. 330 00:14:21,699 --> 00:14:23,511 - I think he's doing a lot. - Well, I'll tell you what, mate. 331 00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:25,741 Maybe the place not to bring 332 00:14:25,774 --> 00:14:27,945 a character like that in that state 333 00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:29,982 is your mum and dad's fucking house. 334 00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:31,962 I've already told you, this is a big night for your sister. 335 00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:33,957 She's bringing her first girlfriend round. 336 00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,128 - Ava's got a girlfriend? - Oh, it's... 337 00:14:36,161 --> 00:14:37,607 You're gonna be a parent, Luke, all right? 338 00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,401 Make better fucking decisions! 339 00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:42,207 [muffled] Because it's gonna be one thing after another. 340 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,377 Let me tell you... [continues indistinctly] 341 00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:53,996 You know, for what it's worth, I get it. 342 00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,776 Fatherhood can be a scary thing. 343 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,203 Sure how would you know? 344 00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:00,743 Uh... Dad told me. 345 00:15:02,781 --> 00:15:06,154 And what have you told her regards where you're at? 346 00:15:06,187 --> 00:15:08,292 Her at home? 347 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,265 Uh, that I'm, uh, caught up at work. 348 00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:12,701 Hmm. 349 00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:17,043 No, fella, don't do that. Don't lie. Go home. 350 00:15:17,076 --> 00:15:19,180 She's laid up on bricks having your baby. 351 00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,118 Don't fucking lie to her. 352 00:15:21,151 --> 00:15:22,462 There's nothin' worse than a liar. 353 00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:23,723 [door closes] 354 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,426 - All right, folks... - [claps hands] 355 00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,163 After that... after that palaver, 356 00:15:27,196 --> 00:15:29,467 I think the least we can do is get you drunk. 357 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,473 - So, who's for red? - Well, can I get one of those? 358 00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:36,783 No! Fucking bare knuckle Barbie, you can't. 359 00:15:36,816 --> 00:15:39,421 Jesus Christ. What were you thinking? 360 00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,458 And why can't you just use the fucking front door 361 00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,028 like normal people? Hey? 362 00:15:43,061 --> 00:15:45,399 I mean, look at the state of Carl. 363 00:15:47,236 --> 00:15:49,541 - You all right, Carl? - Fine now, thank you. 364 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:52,080 - Good. - Yeah, just fine. 365 00:15:52,113 --> 00:15:53,717 It's very nice, you know. 366 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:56,321 - Hmm? What is? - The inside. 367 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,593 Your house. 368 00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:00,697 Thank you. 369 00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:04,371 - Can I get you anything? - Oh. 370 00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:05,707 Got a cheese sandwich, have you? 371 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,310 - A cheese sandwich? - Ooh. 372 00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:08,111 No! 373 00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:12,052 One cheese sandwich for Carl coming up. 374 00:16:13,488 --> 00:16:16,228 Ah, some fucker been in my chutneys? 375 00:16:16,261 --> 00:16:17,731 Has anyone seen Ava? 376 00:16:21,705 --> 00:16:23,643 [sniffles] 377 00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:26,214 [footsteps approach] 378 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,057 - What's happened? - [sniffles] 379 00:16:32,728 --> 00:16:35,065 Holly's not coming round. 380 00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:37,771 - Okay. - [sniffles] 381 00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:40,309 I wanted to do this big coming out thing, 382 00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:41,645 and she's not into it. 383 00:16:42,814 --> 00:16:44,785 [sniffles] 384 00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:46,263 She thinks all that "meet the family" stuff 385 00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:48,359 is a bit too much. 386 00:16:48,392 --> 00:16:49,671 Well, just... Well, that's fine. 387 00:16:49,695 --> 00:16:51,665 We'll just give her a bit more time. 388 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,272 She says no one really has a big coming out thing anymore. 389 00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:59,247 And I just feel so stupid and naive. 390 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,251 There is not one thing about you that's stupid. 391 00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:02,788 Do you understand? 392 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,567 We've only been seeing each other a couple of weeks. 393 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:09,134 What was I thinking? What if I've ruined everything? 394 00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:11,405 Break... Breakups are always hard, my darling, 395 00:17:11,438 --> 00:17:13,576 - especially the first time... - We haven't broken up. 396 00:17:14,745 --> 00:17:16,315 - Okay. - I'm not upset 397 00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:18,586 because we split up. I'm... 398 00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:21,726 I'm embarrassed at being old-fashioned and just stupid. 399 00:17:21,759 --> 00:17:24,431 All right, I... I see. Sorry. 400 00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:25,701 We'll still see each other. 401 00:17:25,734 --> 00:17:28,138 Holly just doesn't wanna come round tonight 402 00:17:28,171 --> 00:17:31,311 to meet you two... and everyone. 403 00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:32,748 Right. 404 00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:34,517 Well, I mean... 405 00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:37,423 You know, at... at least we... 406 00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:40,472 We know you better now, don't we? 407 00:17:40,496 --> 00:17:41,733 Mm-hmm. 408 00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:44,739 You know, we know that you're gay. It's... 409 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,745 It's also not... not a big deal at all, by the way, 410 00:17:47,778 --> 00:17:48,722 in case you were wondering if it was. 411 00:17:48,746 --> 00:17:51,719 No, I want it to be a big deal. 412 00:17:51,752 --> 00:17:53,421 It is a big deal for me. 413 00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:56,495 Maybe that was my stupid mistake. 414 00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:58,600 I wanted you. 415 00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:01,471 I wanted my parents to be a part of this. 416 00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:04,210 I wanted this to be my moment. Mine. Mine. 417 00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:07,651 Some affirmation of me. 418 00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:10,456 Yeah, listen, sweetheart, I think that's absolutely 419 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:11,902 what we all want as well, isn't it? I think... 420 00:18:11,926 --> 00:18:13,204 I think that what we're trying to say... 421 00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:14,665 - Yeah. - Is that we will always 422 00:18:14,698 --> 00:18:17,503 love you completely, no matter who you tell us you are. 423 00:18:17,536 --> 00:18:18,606 Well, I want it to matter. 424 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:24,751 I know you're trying to make me feel comfortable, and thank you. 425 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,456 But I want this to matter as much... 426 00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:32,332 every inch as much, for once... 427 00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:35,205 as anything that's happening in Luke's life. 428 00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:38,278 And it really hasn't helped 429 00:18:38,311 --> 00:18:40,516 that he's dragged in that pisshead downstairs. 430 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,386 Right, okay, tell you what. You stay here. 431 00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:43,665 We're gonna go and clear the house out, 432 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,459 and then we'll be back, okay? Don't move. 433 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:53,308 - [footsteps approach] - How's she getting on up there? 434 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,381 - Not terribly well. And... - Your wee girl? Ava, was it? 435 00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:58,753 - Ava, yeah. - Having a bit of an upset? 436 00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:00,657 - First bit of heartbreak. - Yeah. 437 00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,661 Just as well. I fucking hate chili. 438 00:19:02,694 --> 00:19:04,832 Hate anything to do with cowboys. 439 00:19:04,865 --> 00:19:07,437 Thank you for a lovely evenin'. 440 00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:09,642 You should piss off, too. 441 00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:10,953 You're next door, as I understand it. 442 00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:12,848 - Yeah, he's... - But you, Snorty Spice, 443 00:19:12,881 --> 00:19:15,286 where is it you call home? We'll drop you in our Uber. 444 00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:17,290 Oh, actually, could I get in on that? 445 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,301 If you don't mind dropping me off at the station. 446 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,427 Yeah, of course. 447 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,833 All right if I stay here, is it, mate? 448 00:19:21,866 --> 00:19:23,570 If I go home in this state, she'll kill me. 449 00:19:23,603 --> 00:19:26,541 What age are you to be hanging out with this child? 450 00:19:26,575 --> 00:19:28,278 You must be near my age and his. 451 00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:29,289 - Move your boney arse. - [exhales deeply] 452 00:19:29,313 --> 00:19:30,449 [mouths words] 453 00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:31,986 [mouths words] 454 00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:34,324 - Thank you, Carl. - [mouths words] 455 00:19:34,357 --> 00:19:36,562 Oh, you're welcome, Paul. 456 00:19:36,595 --> 00:19:38,532 Just trying to be a good neighbor. 457 00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:41,271 Well, next time it's my turn to have a big fight on your patio. 458 00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:43,576 - Oh, look forward to that. - [chuckles] 459 00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:44,979 - Bye, Lukie. - See you, Carl. 460 00:19:45,012 --> 00:19:46,549 Bye, all. 461 00:19:46,582 --> 00:19:47,516 Bye. 462 00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,590 [exhales deeply] 463 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,326 Sorry. What... What's happening with Ava? 464 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,796 [door closes] 465 00:20:02,513 --> 00:20:05,418 Could we make a quick pit stop at this wee corner shop, please? 466 00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:12,366 Here, precious. I'm stuck in the middle back here. 467 00:20:12,399 --> 00:20:14,805 Would you mind running in and grabbing me a deck of fags? 468 00:20:25,894 --> 00:20:28,632 That card expired weeks ago. Mate, can we get going, please? 469 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,343 Oh, hello. 470 00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:40,455 Uh... he appears to have dropped his cocaine. 471 00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:44,364 Can you drop us at the nearest pub, please, mate? 472 00:20:44,397 --> 00:20:48,372 I've got twins. Two girls, 13. They're very full on. 473 00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:50,576 - Jesus. What? - I'm sorry, Siobhan. 474 00:20:53,114 --> 00:20:54,918 I think I'm in love with you. 475 00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:00,573 [under breath] Well, you don't get 476 00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:01,899 any of this stuff in Reading. 477 00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:09,047 Got a bit sexy there tonight a couple of times, didn't it, 478 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,520 with the fight and the pheromones? 479 00:21:12,554 --> 00:21:13,823 Or was I imagining it? 480 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,458 No, it did get a bit sexy. You're right. 481 00:21:21,104 --> 00:21:23,374 We should break our drought soon. 482 00:21:24,443 --> 00:21:26,949 - We should, but not tonight. - No, not tonight. Fuck, no. 483 00:21:26,982 --> 00:21:29,087 Christ, I just wanna sleep. 484 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,388 Mm. 485 00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,728 [knock on door] 486 00:21:32,761 --> 00:21:35,099 Mum, Dad, I don't really wanna talk right now, 487 00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,534 if that's all right. 488 00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:41,545 Just me. 489 00:21:43,481 --> 00:21:44,651 Is it all right if I come in? 490 00:22:01,484 --> 00:22:04,824 I'm sorry for stealing focus again tonight. 491 00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:08,633 I know it's a bit of a habit. 492 00:22:08,666 --> 00:22:10,704 It's just... 493 00:22:10,737 --> 00:22:14,110 There was this 36-year-old man-child chasing me around, 494 00:22:14,143 --> 00:22:17,449 and... this was the tree that I ran up. 495 00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:21,925 [chuckles] 496 00:22:24,798 --> 00:22:29,808 So, listen, I hear that you have a girlfriend. 497 00:22:34,785 --> 00:22:36,120 That's massive! 498 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,694 Do you fancy telling me all about her? 499 00:22:40,963 --> 00:22:42,432 Whoever she is? 500 00:22:42,482 --> 00:22:47,032 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37845

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