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1
00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:02,973
Oh, boy.
Sorry for the wait, everybody.
2
00:00:03,015 --> 00:00:05,215
This morning was crazy.
3
00:00:05,257 --> 00:00:08,017
You again?
4
00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:10,259
Guess you can't sue me
for malpractice
5
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,301
if you're already dead!
6
00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:13,342
Ah!
7
00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:14,703
No!
Dr. Crazybrainz, no!
8
00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:16,024
We're just here
for a consultation.
9
00:00:16,066 --> 00:00:19,307
Oh, great.
Cool.
10
00:00:19,349 --> 00:00:21,509
I was just joking
about killing you.
11
00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:24,471
I would never do that
on purpose.
12
00:00:24,513 --> 00:00:27,073
So what seems
to be the problem?
13
00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:30,076
Freya's just been exhausted all
weekend and horribly nauseous.
14
00:00:30,118 --> 00:00:32,078
Okay, I wouldn't say
"horribly nauseous."
15
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,639
I mean,
that's a bit of a...
16
00:00:38,765 --> 00:00:40,044
...overstatement.
17
00:00:40,086 --> 00:00:42,486
Alright. Lie on back.
We'll scan ya.
18
00:00:42,528 --> 00:00:44,248
Gonna scan you down here.
19
00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:45,489
Open.
20
00:00:45,531 --> 00:00:46,970
Good teeth.
Okay.
21
00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:49,492
Good, good, good, good, good,
good, good, good.
22
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:52,455
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
23
00:00:52,497 --> 00:00:53,936
Oh, my God.
24
00:00:53,978 --> 00:00:56,458
There's some kind of parasite
growing in your body.
25
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,980
What?
26
00:00:58,022 --> 00:01:00,662
It looks like
a tiny man.
27
00:01:00,704 --> 00:01:03,184
Did you swallow
a tiny man?
28
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:05,228
I'm pregnant?
29
00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:07,828
Yeah.
30
00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:08,909
Yeah.
31
00:01:09,992 --> 00:01:11,271
Sorry about that.
32
00:01:11,313 --> 00:01:12,712
Now I get it.
33
00:01:12,754 --> 00:01:14,314
Silly me.
34
00:01:14,356 --> 00:01:17,076
Congratulations.
Good job. Alright.
35
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,318
Hey.
Congratulations, buddy.
36
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,919
You're gonna be
a father.
37
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:39,895
Hey, Boomtown,
we're having a baby!
38
00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:44,139
Oh!
39
00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:45,540
Dance solo!
40
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,306
Freya!
41
00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:58,992
Are -- Are those
tears of joy?
42
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:00,713
How did this even happen?
43
00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:02,955
I thought you were infertile
from radiation.
44
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,957
Me too, but I guess one
of my few remaining sperms
45
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,398
must have
made it through.
46
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,799
Yeah, bet it was Squishy.
47
00:02:07,841 --> 00:02:09,280
He's always been
so precocious.
48
00:02:09,322 --> 00:02:11,162
I've just never thought
of myself as a mom.
49
00:02:11,204 --> 00:02:13,844
I don't know how I feel bringing
a child into this world.
50
00:02:13,886 --> 00:02:15,566
Oh, no. Come on.
Things aren't that bad.
51
00:02:15,608 --> 00:02:17,007
Yes, they are.
52
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,969
The last penguin
just committed suicide.
53
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:21,411
He blew
his goddamn brains out.
54
00:02:21,453 --> 00:02:23,973
Okay, so having a kid
is scary
55
00:02:24,015 --> 00:02:28,097
but also a life-affirming joy
like no other.
56
00:02:28,139 --> 00:02:30,659
I think I just need time
to process this.
57
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:33,701
Is it okay if we just keep it
between us for now?
58
00:02:33,743 --> 00:02:35,743
Yeah.
Yeah, no, of course.
59
00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:43,990
I'm so excited to spend the day
with my Uncle Tai.
60
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,632
Never call me that again.
61
00:02:45,674 --> 00:02:47,273
I'm just pet-sitting you
62
00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:49,195
while your parents
are at the doctor's.
Uncle Tai,
63
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,156
you don't need to make up
an excuse to hang out with me.
64
00:02:51,198 --> 00:02:53,200
I'm already so into you.
65
00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:56,521
Get in.
I'm taking you to work.
66
00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:58,723
Oh, where are we going?
67
00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:01,645
It's not where we're going.
It's when.
68
00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:02,926
I believe the saying
is "Where are we?"
69
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,087
not "When are we?"
70
00:03:04,129 --> 00:03:06,289
Okay, when the heck
are we?
71
00:03:06,331 --> 00:03:09,732
Back in the Before Times
in the year 2023.
72
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,735
Wow.
It's so beautiful.
73
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,016
So green and lush.
74
00:03:15,259 --> 00:03:16,458
Whoa!
75
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,420
Look at that creature.
76
00:03:19,462 --> 00:03:21,342
Dumb little idiot
needs to wear a leash.
77
00:03:21,384 --> 00:03:22,743
So stupid.
78
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,945
Oh, okay.
You're the alpha.
79
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,867
You can do whatever
you want to me.
80
00:03:26,909 --> 00:03:28,788
Okay. Come on.
Come on.
81
00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:30,510
We've been sent
back in time
82
00:03:30,552 --> 00:03:33,272
to eliminate the future leader
of the human resistance.
83
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:36,675
If I fail my mission,
robotkind will cease to exist.
84
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,717
Hells yeah.
That's rad as hell.
85
00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:41,239
I knew we were gonna have
an awesome adventure together.
86
00:03:41,281 --> 00:03:42,800
Oh, no, no.
87
00:03:42,842 --> 00:03:44,081
It's not gonna be
an adventure.
88
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,242
He's right over there.
89
00:03:45,284 --> 00:03:48,045
It's cool.
90
00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,886
Keep it rolling.
Gonna be tight.
91
00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:51,568
Oh.
Yeah.
92
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,049
I'm just gonna shoot him
in the head
93
00:03:53,091 --> 00:03:54,931
and get the hell
out of here.
94
00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:57,133
Ah, that's cool, too,
I guess.
95
00:03:57,175 --> 00:04:00,415
Morning, Sid.
How was the weekend?
96
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:03,138
Um, good. Yeah.
Uneventful.
97
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:06,861
No big life-altering changes
on the horizon.
98
00:04:06,903 --> 00:04:09,583
No news is good news.
Indeed.
99
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,666
Oh, hey, it's trivia night
at the Boomtown Bistro.
100
00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:14,107
What do you say
you, me, and Freya
101
00:04:14,149 --> 00:04:16,069
head over after work
and tie one on?
102
00:04:16,111 --> 00:04:18,711
Oh, um, no, Freya is not
drinking at the moment,
103
00:04:18,753 --> 00:04:21,794
actually,
because she's, um...
104
00:04:21,836 --> 00:04:23,755
She's an alcoholic.
Yeah.
105
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,718
I mean, she's sober now
but, like, barely.
106
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,319
Ah, geez.
107
00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:31,562
I'm glad she's getting
the help she needs.
108
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,005
I should get back to work.
Yes, you should.
109
00:04:35,047 --> 00:04:37,167
By the way,
have you seen my notepad?
110
00:04:37,209 --> 00:04:39,248
No, because Freya
is pregnant!
111
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:40,329
Oh, no!
112
00:04:40,371 --> 00:04:42,611
Oh, Sid!
Mazel tov!
113
00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:43,732
Oh, thanks.
114
00:04:43,774 --> 00:04:45,013
Oh, yes!
115
00:04:45,055 --> 00:04:46,455
And the answer is yes.
116
00:04:46,497 --> 00:04:48,336
I would be honored
to be the godfather.
117
00:04:48,378 --> 00:04:49,818
Oh, good Lord,
I wasn't gonna ask that.
118
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,019
And you don't have to.
119
00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,820
It's simply understood.
Oh.
120
00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:54,622
Oh, I have to get started
on the baby shower.
121
00:04:54,664 --> 00:04:56,263
Oh, no,
Freya was very explicit.
122
00:04:56,305 --> 00:04:57,864
She just wants to deal
with this on her own.
123
00:04:57,906 --> 00:05:00,707
Oh, Sid, pregnant women
are so hopped up on hormones,
124
00:05:00,749 --> 00:05:02,668
you can't listen
to a word they say.
125
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:05,511
If anything, you should
do the opposite.
126
00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:07,312
Whoa, I had no idea.
127
00:05:07,354 --> 00:05:09,875
And you're sure that won't
come across as patronizing
128
00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:11,836
or borderline
misogynistic?
129
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:14,358
Trust me,
when you're married three times,
130
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,721
you learn a little
something about women.
131
00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:20,324
God, I miss them.
132
00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,285
Okay, once I murder this guy,
we have about a minute
133
00:05:22,327 --> 00:05:24,047
to get back
in the time machine
134
00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:26,729
before which everyone starts
screaming and the cops show up.
135
00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:28,531
How do you already know
what's gonna happen?
136
00:05:28,573 --> 00:05:29,932
Oh, 'cause I do this
every day.
137
00:05:29,974 --> 00:05:31,853
I kill the guy,
the humans send someone back
138
00:05:31,895 --> 00:05:33,975
in time to save him,
and then I kill him again.
139
00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:35,777
It used to be fun,
140
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:38,619
but now I'm just kind of going
through the motions, you know?
141
00:05:38,661 --> 00:05:40,140
Yo.
142
00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:42,863
Ah, yes!
I did it!
143
00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:46,025
There you are, you little future
genocidal Gen-Z bitch.
144
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,387
-Wait!
-Whoa!
145
00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,749
What a crazy way
to get my attention.
146
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:51,110
You could have
just said stop.
147
00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:52,631
Wait, Uncle Tai.
What?
148
00:05:52,673 --> 00:05:54,473
You said yourself
you do this every day.
149
00:05:54,515 --> 00:05:56,554
So what's the harm in just
having a little fun first,
150
00:05:56,596 --> 00:05:59,677
and then we can, you know,
go ahead and kill the guy?
151
00:05:59,719 --> 00:06:03,080
Oh, I suppose you have a point,
but what would we do anyway?
152
00:06:03,122 --> 00:06:04,962
Well, what's the coolest,
most exciting thing
153
00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:07,083
someone can do in 2023?
154
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,605
Something super relevant
155
00:06:08,647 --> 00:06:11,607
but that also perfectly captures
the mood of the time.
156
00:06:11,649 --> 00:06:13,651
Hmm.
Hmm.
157
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:20,375
Bingo.
158
00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:22,897
Wait, why are we
at Morris's house?
159
00:06:22,939 --> 00:06:24,338
I thought we were going
to the market.
160
00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,940
Okay, so maybe we're not
going to the market.
161
00:06:26,982 --> 00:06:30,744
Maybe somebody has a little
surprise in store for you.
162
00:06:30,786 --> 00:06:32,065
Wah!
163
00:06:32,107 --> 00:06:33,906
What is this, huh?
Some kind of long con?
164
00:06:33,948 --> 00:06:35,187
You make me marry you,
share a life together
165
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,909
just to set me up
for an ambush?
166
00:06:36,951 --> 00:06:38,550
I'm gonna slit you, pig!
No, no, no,
it's not an ambush.
167
00:06:38,592 --> 00:06:40,752
I was trying to surprise you
with a baby shower.
168
00:06:40,794 --> 00:06:43,595
What? Sid, I told you I just
want to keep it between us.
169
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,676
I know, but then
I accidentally told Morris,
170
00:06:45,718 --> 00:06:47,638
and he really wanted
to do something nice for us.
171
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,039
And, I don't know,
I just thought maybe
172
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:51,441
seeing how happy
other people were for us
173
00:06:51,483 --> 00:06:54,884
might make you
feel happier.
174
00:06:54,926 --> 00:06:56,566
Well, okay, fine.
I guess.
175
00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,848
Just as long as it's
not intense and weird.
No, it won't be.
176
00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,050
He said it was gonna be
very smooth, very casual.
177
00:07:01,092 --> 00:07:03,093
Okay, fine.
178
00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:15,542
There she is.
The mother.
179
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,824
-The mother.
-The mother.
180
00:07:17,866 --> 00:07:20,066
-The mother.
-The mother.
181
00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:22,348
Okay, so maybe
it's more semi-casual.
182
00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:24,391
-The mother.
-The mother.
183
00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:27,152
Welcome to the Pharaoh's tomb.
184
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:29,514
The local villagers
tried to warn you,
185
00:07:29,556 --> 00:07:32,276
but your lust for treasure
was too great.
186
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:36,360
And now you are trapped
with only your wits to survive.
187
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:38,802
And your time starts now.
188
00:07:38,844 --> 00:07:41,444
Uh-oh, I hope the pharaoh
doesn't put a curse on us.
189
00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:43,926
Ugh, I'm sitting this out.
This is too stupid.
190
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:46,008
Did people in the past
really have it so easy
191
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:49,091
that they would willingly spend
money to solve a fake problem?
192
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:50,892
You're just being
a stick in the mud.
193
00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,053
I'll do it on my own.
194
00:07:52,095 --> 00:07:53,614
Oh, let's see.
195
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:56,577
I wonder if these, uh --
these symbols mean anything.
196
00:07:56,619 --> 00:07:59,219
Maybe if I match
the colors.
197
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:03,703
Yeah.
I am feeling good about this.
198
00:08:03,745 --> 00:08:05,224
I'm gonna start
all with red.
199
00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:07,626
I love red.
No, don't.
200
00:08:07,668 --> 00:08:09,308
It's the color of blood.
No.
201
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:10,749
And I love that.
202
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,791
I love how that looks.
203
00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:14,392
Oh, that's green.
204
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:15,673
Okay, that's it.
That's it.
205
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,034
Stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.
206
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,796
Obviously,
it can't be that simple.
207
00:08:18,838 --> 00:08:20,717
This is the Pharaoh
we're talking about.
208
00:08:20,759 --> 00:08:22,359
He's a brilliant man.
209
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,561
Maybe if we translate
these hieroglyphics...
210
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,402
Um, I'd be surprised
if the game
211
00:08:26,444 --> 00:08:28,324
required fluency
in ancient Egyptian,
212
00:08:28,366 --> 00:08:31,487
but this is
your expedition.
213
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,530
Go, Uncle Tai.
214
00:08:34,251 --> 00:08:36,251
We here in Boomtown
215
00:08:36,293 --> 00:08:39,253
have no use for the gods
of the Before Times.
216
00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:40,775
So we've established
a new religion
217
00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:44,258
based on the thing
we care about most,
218
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:47,500
truly the only thing
that brings us happiness
219
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:50,303
after a certain age --
babies.
220
00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:53,225
Sid and Freya are bringing
their own bundle of joy
221
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,466
into the world.
222
00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:57,669
And to them we offer
a goo-goo-ga-ga.
223
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,591
Goo-goo-ga-ga.
224
00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:01,072
Is it just me,
or are these people
225
00:09:01,114 --> 00:09:02,954
a little intense
about babies?
226
00:09:02,996 --> 00:09:04,635
Why? Just 'cause
they've created
227
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,557
an entire organized religion
to worship them?
228
00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:08,638
Uh, yeah.
Mostly that.
229
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:11,521
We will begin now
with the Vows of Parentage.
230
00:09:11,563 --> 00:09:13,565
Mom?
231
00:09:16,327 --> 00:09:21,209
"As the mother, I vow to feed,
clean, and love my baby,
232
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:24,292
to sacrifice my career,
my mental health,
233
00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:25,933
even my very body...
234
00:09:25,975 --> 00:09:28,896
but then promise
to tighten it up right after."
235
00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:30,297
Keep it tight.
236
00:09:30,339 --> 00:09:33,339
Oh, okay, wow.
It keeps going.
237
00:09:33,381 --> 00:09:34,661
"I vow to prepare
my child healthy,
238
00:09:34,703 --> 00:09:36,222
well-balanced meals
from scratch,
239
00:09:36,264 --> 00:09:37,623
to play with them nonstop,
240
00:09:37,665 --> 00:09:39,385
even when they're screaming
in my face,
241
00:09:39,427 --> 00:09:42,267
to always bring a change of
clothes in case of a blowout."
242
00:09:42,309 --> 00:09:43,508
What's a blowout?
243
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,630
That's when the baby
diarrheas so big
244
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,872
that the poop literally
blows out the diaper
245
00:09:47,914 --> 00:09:49,233
and up the baby's back.
246
00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:50,554
Look it up.
It's a thing.
247
00:09:50,596 --> 00:09:52,476
Wait.
This is crazy.
248
00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:54,878
Why do I get stuck
with all the responsibilities?
249
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,239
Oh, take it easy, Mom.
250
00:09:56,281 --> 00:09:58,081
There's a lot
on Dad's plate, too.
251
00:09:58,123 --> 00:09:59,642
Sid.
252
00:10:01,966 --> 00:10:07,128
"As the father, I vow
to hold down the fort."
253
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,851
What? That's it?
W-Why is his so short?
254
00:10:09,893 --> 00:10:13,013
To be fair, holding down the
fort is a huge responsibility.
255
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:14,415
What does that
even mean?
256
00:10:14,457 --> 00:10:17,217
You know,
it's the fort.
257
00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:19,299
It's the whole thing.
258
00:10:19,341 --> 00:10:20,820
And he's holding it down.
259
00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:22,662
I accept.
260
00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:28,467
Wow, Sid.
You are an amazing father.
261
00:10:28,509 --> 00:10:31,309
You get all the credit.
262
00:10:31,351 --> 00:10:33,191
This is some bullshit.
263
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,193
Okay. Here we go.
Blue is the color of the Nile.
264
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:38,195
The ankh is the symbol
of fertility.
265
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:41,638
No. No, the symbol
of reincarnation. Damn it.
266
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,439
Hey, Uncle Tai, we only
have 10 minutes left,
267
00:10:43,481 --> 00:10:44,921
and we're still stuck
on the first puzzle.
268
00:10:44,963 --> 00:10:46,682
So maybe we should try
a different tack.
269
00:10:46,724 --> 00:10:49,204
Shhh!
I've almost got it.
270
00:10:49,246 --> 00:10:51,046
Take the five eyes
of Horus
271
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:56,332
and multiply it by the Chapters
in the Book of the Dead.
272
00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:04,497
Damn it, open,
you stupid piece of shit!
273
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,579
Sir, you are gonna
break that.
274
00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:08,741
Okay, this is bullshit.
275
00:11:08,783 --> 00:11:10,863
These puzzles are
fricking impossible.
276
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:13,225
You have to be some kind of
super genius to figure them out.
277
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,426
Solved it.
278
00:11:14,468 --> 00:11:15,827
W-What?
279
00:11:15,869 --> 00:11:17,548
H-How did you do that?
I don't know.
280
00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:20,271
I just matched the colors
on this thingy to that thingy.
281
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,553
Scraps, that is...
282
00:11:22,595 --> 00:11:24,795
genius!
283
00:11:24,837 --> 00:11:27,597
Well, keep going,
you brilliant bastard.
284
00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:29,759
Okay!
285
00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:31,640
Ooh!
286
00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:33,684
Shut up, you did not.
287
00:11:35,766 --> 00:11:37,768
Yes, bitch, yes!
288
00:11:42,091 --> 00:11:45,134
How the fertile crescent
is he doing this?
289
00:11:48,737 --> 00:11:50,937
It's super comfortable
opening gifts
290
00:11:50,979 --> 00:11:52,899
in front of the people
who got them for you.
291
00:11:52,941 --> 00:11:53,980
Very chill.
292
00:11:54,022 --> 00:11:56,023
That one's from me.
293
00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:58,263
Nipple butter?
294
00:11:58,305 --> 00:11:59,584
Oh, very thoughtful,
Devon.
295
00:11:59,626 --> 00:12:01,906
Thank you, Devon.
This stuff is great.
296
00:12:01,948 --> 00:12:05,069
Your nipples can get so chafed
from breastfeeding
297
00:12:05,111 --> 00:12:07,311
that they can literally
crack to pieces.
298
00:12:07,353 --> 00:12:08,912
It's like stepping
on a dry cracker
299
00:12:08,954 --> 00:12:11,675
or throwing a brick
through a windshield.
300
00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:12,756
Good God.
301
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,277
I had no idea
nipples could crack.
302
00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:17,279
I am learning
so much today.
303
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,361
Here we go.
304
00:12:19,403 --> 00:12:21,283
Oh, no.
What's a snot sucker?
305
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,205
Okay, so with that, the baby is
too weak to blow its own nose,
306
00:12:24,247 --> 00:12:26,567
so you literally have to
suck out the boogers
307
00:12:26,609 --> 00:12:27,608
with your own mouth.
308
00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:28,769
Now, the baby hates it,
309
00:12:28,811 --> 00:12:30,130
so you got to grab it
in a headlock
310
00:12:30,172 --> 00:12:32,452
and take those boogers
by force.
311
00:12:32,494 --> 00:12:33,773
Great.
Well, that's nice, isn't it?
312
00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:35,695
You've never eaten
boogers before.
313
00:12:35,737 --> 00:12:37,377
You know what?
I think I'm good.
314
00:12:37,419 --> 00:12:38,578
Yeah, I'm done.
315
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:40,619
Oh, you can't leave now.
316
00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:42,341
We were just about
to play a fun game
317
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:44,302
where we guess
how big you'll get
318
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:47,545
in terms of which jungle animal
you'll most resemble.
319
00:12:47,587 --> 00:12:49,507
Come on,
water buffalo.
320
00:12:49,549 --> 00:12:50,988
Yeah, I'm good,
thanks.
321
00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:53,032
Come on, Sid.
We're leaving now.
322
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:57,754
Okay, um, I am so sorry,
everybody.
323
00:12:57,796 --> 00:13:00,997
Um, Mom is a little tired,
so we're gonna take off.
324
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,239
But thank you so much
for -- for all of this.
325
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:04,680
Where do you think
you're going?
326
00:13:04,722 --> 00:13:08,443
This baby is ours
as much as it is yours.
327
00:13:08,485 --> 00:13:10,965
No, it's not.
That -- That's crazy.
328
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:15,009
That's right.
We're crazy for babies.
329
00:13:15,051 --> 00:13:16,370
Now, let us touch
that belly.
330
00:13:16,412 --> 00:13:18,211
-Touch the belly.
-Touch the belly.
331
00:13:18,253 --> 00:13:20,573
-Touch the belly.
-Touch the belly.
332
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:21,734
What the hell?
333
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:24,857
Let's go.
Aaah!
334
00:13:24,899 --> 00:13:26,418
Get them!
335
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,187
What was that back there?
336
00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:38,589
Those people
were acting insane.
337
00:13:38,631 --> 00:13:40,190
That's what I was trying
to tell you.
338
00:13:40,232 --> 00:13:42,272
People in the suburbs can get
really intense about babies.
339
00:13:42,314 --> 00:13:44,234
Yeah, no wonder you have mixed
feelings about being pregnant.
340
00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:46,075
That's a very different
experience for the mom
341
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,596
than it is for the dad.
342
00:13:47,638 --> 00:13:48,958
Thank you, Sid.
343
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,680
That's honestly all
I was looking for.
344
00:13:51,722 --> 00:13:53,401
Ohh!
345
00:13:53,443 --> 00:13:55,563
We forgot
to talk baby names!
346
00:13:55,605 --> 00:13:57,805
If it's a boy,
name it Jackson!
347
00:13:57,847 --> 00:14:00,127
Oh, not Jackson!
348
00:14:00,169 --> 00:14:02,729
I knew a Jackson in college,
and he sucked!
349
00:14:02,771 --> 00:14:04,371
Okay.
You were right.
350
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:05,812
We need time
to process this,
351
00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:07,093
and that is clearly
not gonna happen here.
352
00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:08,574
We need to get you
out of Boomtown.
353
00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:10,496
Well, what about you?
I can't just leave you here.
354
00:14:10,538 --> 00:14:12,097
I'll be fine.
355
00:14:12,139 --> 00:14:14,539
Besides...
356
00:14:14,581 --> 00:14:16,541
someone needs
to hold down the fort.
357
00:14:20,106 --> 00:14:21,906
30 seconds, Scraps.
Talk to me!
358
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,387
Almost there.
359
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,708
And done!
360
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,350
Ymmum!
361
00:14:27,392 --> 00:14:29,394
What?
362
00:14:29,754 --> 00:14:31,474
Ymmum!
363
00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:34,396
Y-Ymmum.
Ymmum.
364
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:36,638
I don't understand!
365
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,480
That should've worked!
366
00:14:38,522 --> 00:14:42,323
Oh, we're gonna be trapped
in this tomb forever!
367
00:14:43,886 --> 00:14:47,408
Why did I get into archaeology
in the first place?
368
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,050
For wealth, for glory?
369
00:14:50,092 --> 00:14:53,413
I was a fool to challenge
the mighty Pharaoh.
370
00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,379
Oh.
371
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,019
Wait a minute.
372
00:15:01,061 --> 00:15:04,624
The mirror.
It says "mummy."
373
00:15:09,228 --> 00:15:10,507
Congratulations.
374
00:15:10,549 --> 00:15:13,149
You have escaped
the Pharaoh's tomb.
375
00:15:16,194 --> 00:15:18,794
Are you serious?
Are you for real?
376
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,196
Oh, my God, shut up!
Shut up!
377
00:15:21,238 --> 00:15:22,277
Stop!
No!
378
00:15:22,319 --> 00:15:23,278
She's serious!
379
00:15:25,562 --> 00:15:29,083
Okay, so you all know this is
the easiest room we have, right?
380
00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:31,365
Little children do this
in 10 minutes.
381
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:40,052
There she is.
Get her!
382
00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:47,098
We have you now, Mommy.
383
00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,621
Sorry, Mommy's not home
right now.
384
00:15:50,663 --> 00:15:54,345
If Dad is here,
then where is Mom?
385
00:16:08,559 --> 00:16:11,399
Gotcha.
386
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:14,762
Oh, Sid,
it's just you.
387
00:16:14,804 --> 00:16:16,564
Have you seen your wife?
388
00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:20,647
Uh, no, Mr. Rubinstein.
389
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,570
Damn, I really wanted
to touch that belly.
390
00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,451
Well, I'll see you
at work.
391
00:16:25,493 --> 00:16:28,174
See you later.
392
00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,575
Oh, and, Sid.
393
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:35,660
Great rack.
394
00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:38,743
I don't
tell you that enough.
395
00:16:38,785 --> 00:16:41,185
Thank you,
Mr. Rubinstein.
396
00:16:41,227 --> 00:16:43,228
No, thank you.
397
00:16:46,511 --> 00:16:47,750
Wait a sec.
398
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:50,513
Am I gay for Sid?
399
00:16:50,555 --> 00:16:52,194
Nah.
400
00:16:52,236 --> 00:16:54,636
But am I?
401
00:16:54,678 --> 00:16:56,077
Eh.
402
00:16:56,119 --> 00:16:57,559
When you pulled
that lever --
403
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,200
And that sarcophagus
flew open?
404
00:16:59,242 --> 00:17:00,601
That was so scary.
405
00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:02,323
I almost browned
my shorts.
406
00:17:02,365 --> 00:17:04,164
Oh, dude,
I fully browned.
407
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,686
Oh, that's sick!
408
00:17:06,728 --> 00:17:09,529
I'm glad we did that.
That was a really fun adventure.
409
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:12,011
Oh, thanks, Uncle Tai.
410
00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:14,893
Alright, well, should we
go ahead and gank that guy?
411
00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:16,977
Oh, I almost forgot.
412
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:21,779
Huh.
Where'd he go?
413
00:17:21,821 --> 00:17:24,784
Whoa!
What does this thing do?
414
00:17:26,665 --> 00:17:28,505
No, don't touch that!
No, no, no!
415
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,667
Hey, what?
Freaky light!
416
00:17:30,709 --> 00:17:32,711
Hey, get off me!
417
00:17:36,594 --> 00:17:38,716
Hey, um...
418
00:17:40,637 --> 00:17:42,997
The puzzle with the scarabs
was cool.
419
00:17:43,039 --> 00:17:45,922
Right?
That was fun.
420
00:17:48,164 --> 00:17:49,643
Thank you.
Ah.
421
00:17:49,685 --> 00:17:51,445
Getting back to the future
was surprisingly easy.
422
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,126
We just had to hire
a time taxi.
423
00:17:53,168 --> 00:17:55,328
I really like watching clips
from "The Tonight Show"
424
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:56,569
on the TV.
425
00:17:56,611 --> 00:18:00,132
I really like
the games.
426
00:18:00,174 --> 00:18:01,613
Everything looks normal.
427
00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:04,576
Ah. Maybe he never made it
back to our time after all.
428
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:07,178
Here I was thinking I've
triggered an apocalyptic war
429
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,020
between robots
and humans.
Totally.
430
00:18:09,062 --> 00:18:12,022
I was like
"Uh-oh, this could be bad."
431
00:18:12,064 --> 00:18:14,304
Hey, that's
a really funny nerd voice.
432
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:16,066
You should
break that out more.
433
00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:17,987
Thanks. I will.
434
00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:20,509
Well, see ya.
See ya.
435
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,471
Down with the machines!
436
00:18:22,513 --> 00:18:24,993
The revolution begins today!
437
00:18:25,035 --> 00:18:26,995
Down with the machines!
438
00:18:27,037 --> 00:18:29,277
The revolution begins today!
439
00:18:29,319 --> 00:18:31,038
Down with the machines!
440
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,802
Down...with...the machines!
31148
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