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I-I kinda want to get going.
4
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,083
You rolling?
All right, man,
5
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:52,824
this is exciting.
We're starting production
6
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:55,914
on "From War to Wisdom."
Day one, shoot one.
7
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,788
Josh, please state for
the record your full name.
8
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,485
Joshua R. Hisle.
9
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,009
Place of birth. Cincinnati, Ohio.
10
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,011
Underwear size.Large.
11
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,059
All right, man.
12
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,017
Are we live? We are live.
13
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,454
Dude...
14
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,673
could you match my...
My lackadaisical carefreeness?
15
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,414
Sir, yes, sir. What's goin' on?
16
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,502
Be the one, Dan.
17
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,461
Pretty doggone... all righty.
18
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,420
First question...
19
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,857
So, from what I hear,
it's just like "Call of Duty."
20
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:30,035
No, um...
21
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,777
tell me a little bit
about when you deployed.
22
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,432
Tell me a little bit about
where you're from,
23
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,304
where you grew up.
24
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,264
Yeah, where you from?
25
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,614
I guess I'm supposed to
say something, huh?
26
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:44,702
Fuck.
27
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,443
What were you fighting for?
28
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,228
What did we fight for?
29
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,624
That's a good question.
30
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,191
I don't have that answer.
31
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,198
And, dude,
if I'm going down paths
32
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,436
that make you uncomfortable
or that...
33
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,506
I won't say anything
I don't want to say.
34
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,266
Though, can you not
put that in either, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,485
You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure.
36
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,877
I've told this story
hundreds of times,
37
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,076
but it's different every time
38
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,687
I tell it, I swear. That's good.
39
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,558
I... dude, I'm here, I'm...
I'm enjoying it.
40
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,907
I'm having fun right now, man,
41
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,605
so let's... let's
keep it going, man.
42
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,800
I wanted to be a Marine
since I was a kid.
43
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,367
I mean, I always did.
44
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,325
I have papers and stuff
from, like, fifth grade
45
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,240
where I'm writing about
being a Marine.
46
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,330
Yeah, my grandfather,
Walter K. Hisle,
47
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,941
was a Marine, um, in Korea.
48
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:53,162
Korean War.
And, uh, I always wanted
49
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,643
to be a Marine ever since
I was a child.
50
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,514
Always look at my papaw's
pictures and stuff,
51
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,473
and he'd tell
war stories, and...
52
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,997
something very romantic
about it, I don't know.
53
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,781
You know, growing up it's...
54
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,262
You see it on TV,
you play these games,
55
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,916
just want to do it, you know?
56
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,310
You don't realize
what it really is.
57
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,702
I was 19.
58
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,749
Yeah, I think
I was 19, 'cause I...
59
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,707
I turned 20, uh, a couple days
60
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,666
before I left for boot camp.
61
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,190
So, I know I was 19
when I swore in and stuff.
62
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,486
When 9/11 happened,
63
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,401
I was at work
when the towers got hit.
64
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,664
And I left work and like, uh,
65
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,828
went and joined the Marines
like right then and there.
66
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,323
It was just an instant decision.
67
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,866
And, honestly, I didn't
give it a lot of thought,
68
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,631
I just did it, you know?
69
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,241
There were... there were
some other guys
70
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,958
down there, too, that were
doing the same thing.
71
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,723
It was kind of a...
72
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,681
This generation of,
uh, guys who were like,
73
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,117
they want to kick
somebody's ass.
74
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728
I-I don't know who, but...
75
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,294
everybody wanted
some payback, I guess.
76
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,871
I think people who join
the Marine Corps
77
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,549
are a certain breed
of people, man.
78
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,246
I would read books by, like,
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00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:04,162
the Marines on Peleliu
or, you know,
80
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,468
what they did in Okinawa.
81
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,122
The whole
Pacific campaign, really.
82
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,385
These guys were some
fuckin' hard men,
83
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,691
and inspired me.
I was like...
84
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,388
I wondered if
I could be that hard.
85
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,410
I always wanted to be
something bigger than myself.
86
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,479
I always wanted to...
87
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,481
be the best, and be in the best.
88
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,004
I wanted to be in the Marines.
89
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,137
It's the best branch.
I wanted to be a grunt.
90
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,836
Physical fitness of
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00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,708
the United States Marines
is traditional.
92
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,884
Yet, even the high
bodily standards
93
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,582
of our leathernecks is being
stepped up these days
94
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,019
to meet new demands
of modern warfare.
95
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,390
The only thing I really
knew about the Marines
96
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,826
is they were supposed to
be the toughest,
97
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,524
they were supposed to be
the hardest, you know.
98
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,942
They had commercials
of them slaying dragons.
99
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:47,075
I want to be the best.
100
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,512
So, part of me went like,
"I'll be a Navy SEAL."
101
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:50,600
Then I realized that...
102
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,342
I'm not too good of a swimmer.
103
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,518
So, you know, I joined
the Marine Corps.
104
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,781
You know,
the volunteer infantry.
105
00:07:57,825 --> 00:08:00,001
My recruiter was like,
"What do you want to do,
106
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,481
you know,
as an enlisted person?"
107
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,047
I was like,
"Well, obviously, infantry.
108
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,136
I want to, you know,
blow stuff up and kill people."
109
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,529
Why would I join
the Marine Corps
110
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,574
to do other stuff?
111
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:16,994
Oh, the Marine Corps
is legendary
112
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,541
for being badass, man.
113
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,544
I mean, every major battle
in the history of...
114
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,981
of all of our wars,
uh, they've taken...
115
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,548
they've taken people down, man.
116
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,466
We learned by fire real fast,
117
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,946
even while we were in training.
118
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,643
You know, you're taking
18-year-olds,
119
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,123
and then by the time they're 19,
120
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,561
they're all marathoners
and capable of hiking
121
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,445
large amounts of goods
through mountain passes,
122
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,739
you know, and employ
weapon systems.
123
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:43,890
You know, there's a big change
124
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,481
in such a small amount of time.
125
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,830
It was just always something
126
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,440
that I knew I was gonna
end up doing
127
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,746
at one point in my life.
128
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,532
Now we're going to war...
129
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,404
hopefully it holds out till
I can get there, right?
130
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:56,971
That was my train
of thought, dude.
131
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,539
Hopefully, it... it can
hold out till I get there.
132
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,825
The gears of war began turning.
133
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,610
And, so, everything changed.
134
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:31,614
There was something
palpable in the air.
135
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,400
Everybody knew
that something was coming.
136
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,490
We're going to war.
137
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,840
We didn't know what kind of war.
138
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,016
We didn't know how long
it was gonna last,
139
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,671
we didn't know if
we were even gonna fight it.
140
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:47,412
You know, we might just
have been flown into Kuwait,
141
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:51,286
you know, rattled our saber,
and then got to go home.
142
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:54,637
Nobody knew, but...
we were going.
143
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:57,379
And we were going now.
144
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,859
Rock and roll.
145
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,164
Hey, quit your lollygagging,
146
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,644
get your stuff, and let's go!
147
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,428
It's 2:00,
still on the plane.
148
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,171
Welcome to Kuwait.
149
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,829
This is as real
as it's gonna get.
150
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,962
In fact, it's worse,
'cause we can't see the enemy.
151
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:15,963
Good to go?
152
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,617
Yeah.
Yep.
153
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,619
Nobody gets off the bus.
154
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,668
We left in late January
155
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,670
and, uh, arrived
in Kuwait in buses.
156
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:28,908
They bussed us out
in the middle of the night,
157
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,412
like three, four, five hours
158
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,563
out in the middle of the night,
159
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,502
uh, into the Kuwaiti desert.
160
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:36,636
We finally roll up, uh,
off of sandy roads
161
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,987
to this one generator just
in the middle of nowhere.
162
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,597
I mean, there was nothing.
163
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,084
And, uh, they...
We get out, and they...
164
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:53,000
They tell us to unpack,
and we're just...
165
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,263
you know, biv...
Bivouacking here tonight.
166
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,134
And, uh, we all just kind of...
167
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,614
We put up, set up a fire watch,
168
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,921
and we wake up under
like six inches of sand.
169
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,376
A sandstorm comes
in the middle of the night
170
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,117
and buries everybody
while they're sleeping.
171
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,753
Welcome to the fucking suck,
you know what I mean?
172
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,252
And all of a sudden
we can see around us,
173
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,060
you know, it's morning
time and, uh,
174
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,802
there's just nothing
but... sand.
175
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,152
Slowly rolling sand for as...
Well, as far as you can see.
176
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,676
We didn't know where we were at.
177
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,503
They were like,
"We're somewhere in Kuwait."
178
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,829
Does anybody really know
where we are?
179
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,681
You guys know where we are?
180
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,552
Which way is Iraq?
181
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:25,119
That way.
182
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,427
And it wasn't till later
183
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,429
that after we dug in
the fighting holes
184
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:33,083
like World War II
all over again,
185
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,042
but thank God
it was sand to dig in.
186
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:37,281
We realized that we were like
two klicks from the border.
187
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,698
That we were staring
188
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,482
at the Iraqi border
just waiting to go.
189
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,397
And that's where we spent
the first month.
190
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,548
And it... it still
hadn't sank in.
191
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,747
Nothing had happened yet.
192
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,009
You weren't really on edge.
193
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,619
The... it waited us to death.
194
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,463
You know, that'll make somebody
go stir crazy.
195
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:50,860
It's like,
we're over here for a war
196
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:51,948
and then they just
parked us over there.
197
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,277
"Hurry up!
Get over there!"
198
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,192
And then they're like,
"All right...
199
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,779
now we're just gonna
sit here." And we...
200
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,152
We had no idea
what we're gonna do
201
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,782
and when we're gonna
be doin' it, by the way.
202
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,721
So... and that
was just...
203
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,505
that would drive a man insane.
204
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:07,857
Whoa, Blakley, that looks like
205
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,598
a little bit
of heaven there, huh?
206
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,774
Don't even know,
Mike, don't even know.
207
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,036
Where'd you get that from?
208
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,603
First Sergeant hooked me up.
209
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,474
First Sergeant did that? He did.
210
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,394
Woe be to the devil dog
who drops the pot.
211
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:24,656
Huh?
212
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,310
Seems to be
the most critical piece
213
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,418
of tactical equipment
you have here, First Sergeant.
214
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,139
Yeah, exactly!
215
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,706
Think about it,
you know, you train
216
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,901
to go do something,
you want to do it, right?
217
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:33,404
So, we're excited.
218
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,319
And we sat in Kuwait
for a couple of months.
219
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,018
Uh, I think it was
a solid two months.
220
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,759
Um, and it got
to the point where
221
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:42,805
there was a whole lot
of poker, and checkers,
222
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,547
and, uh, really nothing, uh...
223
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:46,940
you know, gas drills, but noth...
224
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,376
It turned into this, like,
225
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,596
you know, very, uh,
complacent... thing
226
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,791
where we were just
kind of camping out
227
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,599
in the middle of the desert.
228
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,514
Mr. Adouri said
Iraq was committed
229
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,038
to abandoning banned weapons
230
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,866
and accused the United States
231
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:02,172
of possessing ulterior motives.
232
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,826
I-I think we shouldn't
be out here
233
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,393
unless we're gonna go
across the L.D.
234
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,308
because, I mean,
we're shock troops,
235
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,136
we're not built to be able
to stand here
236
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,398
and just sit here 'cause
237
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,356
that's just not what Marines do.
238
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:16,404
No, gas masks suck, but...
239
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,101
All clear on deck!
240
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,582
All clear!
241
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,296
What we try to tell the Marines,
242
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,665
what I try to tell
the staff and shields
243
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,691
and the Marines directly is,
244
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,475
it doesn't matter
what our politics,
245
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,651
what's happening politically
or anything.
246
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,020
Only that matters
is what's happening
247
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,698
to our company today.
248
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,439
So, shake it off
249
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,720
and let's get our heads
in the game.
250
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,050
That way, we can all come home.
251
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,228
We're just another chapter
in the long legacy of,
252
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:01,057
you know, great Marines
doing what they had to do.
253
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,973
And it's our duty to...
Not to drop the flag,
254
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,670
so to speak.
And they understand that.
255
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,020
That's part of being a Marine.
256
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,743
It's... it's taught
since recruit training.
257
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,158
Every unit you go to
has a history,
258
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:16,812
and they'll always tell ya,
259
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,293
we have to, you know,
keep our legacy strong,
260
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,121
keep our honor clean,
so we can pass it on
261
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,600
to the Marines
that come behind us.
262
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:29,999
The Marine Corps is built
263
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,349
to fight from
the fireteam level up.
264
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:33,916
My position as First Sergeant
265
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,005
in this company,
I work on leadership
266
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:39,052
because, um, if we can
build 'em into strong leaders,
267
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,532
then all those bad decisions,
or less favorable decisions,
268
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:42,969
will start to just drop off.
269
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,424
They won't exist because
they'll take the time
270
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,146
to think about
their Marines first,
271
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,712
and then they'll make
better decisions.
272
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,540
So, I want to develop
273
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,412
their maturity
as Marine leaders.
274
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,987
Fox 2-5.
275
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,061
We were attached
to Second Tanks,
276
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,913
and, uh, they could bring
277
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,915
cool stuff over in their tanks.
278
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,960
And somebody had a guitar.
279
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,475
There's this motto
in the Marine Corps,
280
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,042
"When we're not killin',
we're chillin'."
281
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,938
So, we sat out and would,
like, write songs
282
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,897
about how hot it was
and how shitty it was.
283
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,900
And we had this little
talent show in the desert.
284
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,685
And, uh, First Sergeant
comes up and tells me,
285
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,905
you know, "You're gonna
do something tonight
286
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,994
to represent Fox."
287
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,866
So I did, and I won
the freaking thing.
288
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,912
Thanks a lot, Fox!
Thanks, everybody else!
289
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,358
And then one night, man,
about 2:00 in the morning,
290
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,405
they just were like freakin',
"Let's go, boys!"
291
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,416
You waited your whole
Marine Corps career.
292
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:23,721
Some of you, only been a year.
293
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,090
Some of you, it's only
been two years.
294
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,029
Some of you devil dogs,
it's been longer
295
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,988
for this moment right here.
296
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,120
Don't screw it up,
you understand what I'm saying?
297
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,775
You trained so hard
to get to this point,
298
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,231
now it's time to go
do what we need...
299
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,866
What we trained to do.
Check?
300
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:41,348
Let's go get some.
301
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,490
Let's go!
302
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,582
All of a sudden,
we're invading Iraq.
303
00:16:58,626 --> 00:16:59,820
And we're going
through 'em, you're like,
304
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,063
"Oh, here we are.
We're here."
305
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,630
And, of course,
we're expecting...
306
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,371
D-Day, you know what I mean?
307
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:05,720
Just, bullets.
308
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,461
And as we went up the country
309
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,680
there through the south,
it was just white flags.
310
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,726
That was it.
I mean...
311
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,945
there were whole units
surrendering.
312
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,916
Wasn't until around
the Fertile Crescent
313
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,570
when we got out of the desert
314
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,528
and into some foliage,
we got attacked,
315
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,443
you know, by Republican Guard.
316
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,706
Saddam's good, you know, elite.
317
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,056
They weren't very elite.
318
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,796
I mean, we trashed 'em
pretty quick.
319
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,494
Pop, pop!
320
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,106
Boom!
321
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,420
You know, we'd get hit
by somebody,
322
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,552
we'd buckle down and...
And, you know,
323
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:57,380
our Cobra helicopters
would just fuckin'
324
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,687
cut 'em to pieces
and we'd move on.
325
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:03,125
Um, but, you know,
April 4th, the...
326
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,736
that was... that was
the day it all got real.
327
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,584
Mornin', Frank, how you doing?
328
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,499
Pretty good, pretty good.
329
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,501
Getting cleaned up
for the big town?
330
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:34,504
I can't wait.
331
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,377
The big day is coming.
Here it comes.
332
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,944
I want... I want to get
this stuff over with.
333
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:43,339
This is our last step,
Baghdad, so...
334
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,559
there ain't much to go
from there.
335
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:46,908
This is a long trip,
336
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,311
but I'll tell you what,
it's, uh...
337
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,869
It'll be worth it
when we get up there.
338
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,178
Think it's gonna
be easy or tough today?
339
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,093
Can't say.
340
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,442
Wish I knew.Yeah.
341
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,052
Even the Magic 8-Ball
doesn't know.
342
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,421
Even the Magic 8-Ball
doesn't know, that's true.
343
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,360
Yesterday was a little wild,
wasn't it?
344
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,188
I had a little bit
of fun yesterday.
345
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,798
Yeah. But at the end
of the day,
346
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,646
it's always good to know
that you're the good guy.
347
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,541
Yeah.So...
348
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,736
as long as I can
go home with that,
349
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,805
I'll be a happy man.
350
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,764
Let's go, get it loaded!
351
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,046
Get out!
Hey!
352
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,830
Get the fuck outta the way!
353
00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:41,092
The fuck outta the way!
354
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,398
Get the fuck...
355
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:43,530
Boom! Get out!
356
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,594
Get the fuck outta the way!
357
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:45,923
Go, go, go, go, go!
358
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,108
Recon by fire.
Recon by fire, gentlemen.
359
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:04,986
Within minutes of leaving
our lines,
360
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,596
we were hit again.
361
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,729
For the third straight day,
we're taking contact
362
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,731
from main Iraqi brigade...
363
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:13,212
stationed on the main road
leading into Baghdad.
364
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,823
We only have 32 miles to go
to get to Baghdad,
365
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,565
and it looks like we're gonna
be fighting all the way up.
366
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,527
We were driving down the road
367
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:25,809
and we got hit by this,
like, couple...
368
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,878
Piss-shootin' couple of guys.
369
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,508
And we all got out,
and we're tryin' to find 'em.
370
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,447
It was three dudes and, uh,
371
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,884
I was a designated
marksman at the time.
372
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:36,974
So, I lay down and I find
this guy running,
373
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281
and I pop a shot off
and I hit him.
374
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,804
And he fell down.
375
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,434
And he, you know, crawls
in the doorway, whatever.
376
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,567
I thought I missed him.
I really thought I missed him.
377
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,157
I thought he just,
you know, dropped.
378
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,613
And I find out, you know,
a couple hours later
379
00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:48,832
the snipers went out and said,
380
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,423
"You got that
son of a bitch."
381
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,555
And I remember I was like...
382
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:55,471
stoked, but at
the same time, it was like,
383
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,232
"Damn, man, I fuckin'
just killed somebody,"
384
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,624
you know what I mean?
I just killed this guy.
385
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,171
And I-I don't know him,
I don't know
386
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,565
what he looked like,
how old he was, you know.
387
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,827
Maybe he had liver cancer
388
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,022
and I put him out of his misery,
389
00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,308
but doubtful, you know?
390
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,049
I killed a fuckin' kid,
you know?
391
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,485
Just like me.
392
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:12,488
So, whatever,
we move on, and, uh...
393
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,316
there's not really time
to process that shit.
394
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,360
You go,
"All right, cool."
395
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,277
Good job, good job.
396
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,104
If you need...
You need firing support,
397
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,803
you need firing support,
window, aperture, opening...
398
00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:24,718
One, recon by fire.
399
00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,739
We move on,
we got ambushed hard.
400
00:21:45,782 --> 00:21:48,089
And, uh, First Sergeant
Smith got killed.
401
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:49,525
And that was all of our hero.
402
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,919
I mean, this guy was...
He made us what we were.
403
00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:53,921
He got us ready for this fight.
404
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,401
And to see him get killed, uh,
405
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:59,187
this invincible force,
was fucked up.
406
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:03,931
I don't know what's going on.
407
00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:06,281
You know, I'm just
getting through the day.
408
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,544
You know, fuckin'...
shooting at, you know,
409
00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:11,242
anything that pretty much
moved, half the time.
410
00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:15,508
When...
when he got hit,
411
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:18,641
I mean, it...
rocked my world?
412
00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:20,121
For... like, it hurt, you know.
413
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:22,036
You hear the radio call,
you know, "Fox 8 hit."
414
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:23,603
Fox 8 is hit.
415
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,407
And like all I could say
was just, you know, "Fuck!"
416
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:26,799
And I'm sittin'
in the Humvee, and I...
417
00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:29,304
I look in the side mirror...
418
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:35,005
and I see them carrying
his body on the stretcher.
419
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,790
And they're taking him
to the helo.
420
00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,837
The helicopter's
blowing everybody.
421
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:42,361
All the wind and dust around,
422
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,667
and it was kind of
a sandstormy kinda day.
423
00:22:44,711 --> 00:22:46,408
And there was still smoke
424
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:48,802
and stuff from invasion,
fires and, you know,
425
00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:50,107
things burning around us.
426
00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:52,893
BMPs, the smell
of flesh in the air.
427
00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:54,590
That was tough to see.
428
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:56,462
Okay, I didn't know
who it was at first.
429
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,727
And then, especially
when I looked back.
430
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:05,688
For... for a man that was
a mentor to me.
431
00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:10,084
And just, I mean,
an amazing Marine.
432
00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:12,521
And the last time I ever
got to see him
433
00:23:12,565 --> 00:23:17,396
was in the side mirror
of a Hummer, on a stretcher.
434
00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:24,794
There is no grieving
time, you know.
435
00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:27,928
We had to keep going.
We had a job to do.
436
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:30,452
And ultimately,
at the end of the day,
437
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,976
I think our First Sergeant
would have been proud of us.
438
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,720
'Cause we had to
push on after that.
439
00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:39,896
The war... became real.
440
00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:12,862
That was it, man.
Everyone was like, sh...
441
00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,235
And, all... you saw it.
442
00:24:14,278 --> 00:24:17,412
No one was smiling.
Nobody was dicking around.
443
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,066
And everybody got very,
very serious,
444
00:24:19,109 --> 00:24:21,503
and very, very old very quickly.
445
00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:22,939
For me, it ended up being...
446
00:24:22,983 --> 00:24:24,700
Becoming over the course
of the weeks and months,
447
00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:27,509
it became like
a symbolic thing for me.
448
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,119
Our... our figurehead, you know,
449
00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:31,339
the top of the pyramid
was knocked off.
450
00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,776
But, you know, everybody just...
451
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:35,256
Like nothing happened,
452
00:24:35,299 --> 00:24:36,755
just filled right in
and just took over
453
00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,714
and it just kept running
like the machine that it is.
454
00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:39,976
I mean, it's... the closest thing
455
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,350
I can akin it to is,
uh, like the phalanx
456
00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:44,265
in ancient Sparta, when they...
457
00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:46,702
They moved as one unit,
and no matter what happened,
458
00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,617
everybody knew everybody's job,
459
00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,140
up and down
the chain of command.
460
00:24:51,577 --> 00:24:52,945
Let's go,
God damn it! I can see 'em!
461
00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:54,884
Ed, the treads, look at me.
462
00:24:54,928 --> 00:24:56,427
You know, if it ended up
being a private
463
00:24:56,451 --> 00:24:58,322
in charge of the...
The entire group,
464
00:24:58,366 --> 00:25:00,107
he knew the job.
And that...
465
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:02,196
That's what made it
so special for, uh,
466
00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,154
for me, personally,
and for the Marine Corps
467
00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:05,547
as a brotherhood in general.
468
00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:07,593
And the armed forces in general.
469
00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,818
I just will never
forget that day.
470
00:25:15,862 --> 00:25:17,385
I mean, because
the events that evening
471
00:25:17,428 --> 00:25:18,788
piled on and piled on
and piled on.
472
00:25:18,821 --> 00:25:21,520
And it seems like
once that domino fell...
473
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,565
it didn't stop,
and we just got shit on
474
00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:27,003
for the next, you know,
two months until...
475
00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:30,006
until, you know,
they surrendered completely.
476
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,618
But, uh, it's...
It's funny because,
477
00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:35,577
in relation to...
the romance of being
478
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,840
a kid and wanting to go to war.
479
00:25:37,884 --> 00:25:39,929
And, you know, you... you thi...
480
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,496
I mean, you really want to go.
481
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,865
You think you know what
you're talkin' about.
482
00:25:42,889 --> 00:25:44,344
But until it happens,
man, you don't...
483
00:25:44,368 --> 00:25:46,457
You don't know.
And when it does happen,
484
00:25:46,501 --> 00:25:48,198
it's like...
pshew.
485
00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:50,418
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, man.
I shouldn't have done this.
486
00:25:50,461 --> 00:25:52,768
This isn't for me."
You know?
487
00:25:52,812 --> 00:25:54,553
But that's, you know...
But it's not...
488
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,139
That's not the scariest part.
The scariest part is when
489
00:25:56,163 --> 00:25:58,774
that feeling goes away
and you start to like it.
490
00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:33,287
The next thing we know,
we're in Baghdad.
491
00:26:33,330 --> 00:26:35,942
And that's like...
492
00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:38,597
Never thought in my life
I'd be sittin' in Baghdad.
493
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,643
And, you know, we...
Obviously, we met resistance.
494
00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:44,341
But, I mean, nothing stopped us.
495
00:26:58,225 --> 00:26:59,487
We were there for 'em.
496
00:26:59,530 --> 00:27:01,445
They waved at us.
They chased us.
497
00:27:01,489 --> 00:27:03,709
They were... they loved us.
498
00:27:03,752 --> 00:27:05,624
I mean, we literally
499
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,408
set 'em free, you know?
500
00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:16,547
We went in with the mentality
of... hearts and minds.
501
00:27:16,591 --> 00:27:19,376
Uh, no better friend,
no worse enemy.
502
00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:22,684
And we... we truly
embodied that, I feel like.
503
00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:24,947
You know, we said,
we are here, you know,
504
00:27:24,991 --> 00:27:27,036
we're not here
to impress you, like...
505
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,448
we're just gonna keep
ourselves safe
506
00:27:28,472 --> 00:27:29,691
and other than that, like,
507
00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:31,258
if you want to, you know,
work with us,
508
00:27:31,301 --> 00:27:33,129
we will help schools,
509
00:27:33,173 --> 00:27:34,541
we'll help your children,
we'll help you get food,
510
00:27:34,565 --> 00:27:35,915
we'll help you get water.
511
00:27:35,958 --> 00:27:37,501
You know, we will do anything
and everything
512
00:27:37,525 --> 00:27:39,222
we can to help you.
513
00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:41,181
But, if you... if you
come against us,
514
00:27:41,224 --> 00:27:43,618
if you cross us...
515
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,707
the iron fist comes down.
516
00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:47,317
And there is no half measure.
517
00:27:47,361 --> 00:27:48,754
We will obliterate you.
518
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:09,209
Marines don't fight
for an administration,
519
00:28:09,252 --> 00:28:10,601
or a country, or a flag.
520
00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,386
Marines fight for Marines.
521
00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:14,214
And that's why
we're so successful.
522
00:28:19,959 --> 00:28:21,612
We believed in each other.
523
00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:23,092
Everybody had each other's back.
524
00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:25,486
It was a new experience
for everybody involved,
525
00:28:25,529 --> 00:28:27,836
but we knew that
if we were there together,
526
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,359
we would conquer it,
527
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,187
because nothing
could conquer us.
528
00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:19,845
So you get out.
529
00:29:19,888 --> 00:29:21,760
And you go back home.
530
00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:25,894
And that support structure
is gone.
531
00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:29,202
The support structure
of your friends, your brothers.
532
00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,769
All of a sudden, it's just gone.
533
00:29:37,036 --> 00:29:38,341
And because we were...
534
00:29:38,385 --> 00:29:40,213
I think we were
the first ones over there...
535
00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:43,129
We didn't realize
that things would...
536
00:29:43,172 --> 00:29:44,826
that things would be different.
537
00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:48,003
It's like, you walk
into civilian society,
538
00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:49,962
and you just don't
get it anymore.
539
00:29:50,005 --> 00:29:53,487
It just... like,
just does not compute.
540
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:55,358
What are these people...
541
00:29:55,402 --> 00:29:58,274
like, would they give
a shit about something?
542
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,059
And it's like,
just a little while ago,
543
00:30:00,102 --> 00:30:02,104
like, if I was alive
at the end of the day,
544
00:30:02,148 --> 00:30:04,411
I wasn't bleedin',
and if none of my bud...
545
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:06,065
That happened to none
of my buddies,
546
00:30:06,108 --> 00:30:07,457
that was a good day.
547
00:30:07,501 --> 00:30:11,679
And if there was food?
Psh. Plus one, you know.
548
00:30:11,722 --> 00:30:14,638
If there was an oper...
A working fan...
549
00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,640
uh, I mean, you're... you're set.
550
00:30:16,684 --> 00:30:19,121
You're living
the life of luxury.
551
00:30:19,165 --> 00:30:22,733
Your general American...
the general civilian,
552
00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:24,300
never had to make a sacrifice
553
00:30:24,344 --> 00:30:26,346
for what went on over there.
554
00:30:32,961 --> 00:30:35,746
I'll never fault a man
and I'll never weep for a man
555
00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:38,706
who died doing
what he chose to do.
556
00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:39,901
If you're doing what you love
557
00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:41,056
and you died doing it,
558
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:43,189
then God bless you
and a-fuckin'-men,
559
00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,407
you know what I mean?
It's...
560
00:30:44,451 --> 00:30:46,409
Isn't that the way
you want to go out?
561
00:30:46,453 --> 00:30:48,542
My biggest issue that I found
562
00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:51,240
was handling
Marines that survived.
563
00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:56,831
When I first got back
from Iraq, you know,
564
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,944
I expected to be
different, you know.
565
00:30:58,987 --> 00:31:01,120
I-I expected if you go, uh,
566
00:31:01,163 --> 00:31:03,862
into a combat zone,
into such a high-stress,
567
00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:05,733
high, you know, adrenaline
568
00:31:05,776 --> 00:31:07,430
every day type environment,
569
00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:10,216
um, that when I came home,
it was gonna take awhile
570
00:31:10,259 --> 00:31:13,436
to kind of readjust back
to relative safety.
571
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,786
And, uh... you know,
I thought maybe,
572
00:31:15,830 --> 00:31:17,460
hey, six months,
a year after getting home,
573
00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:19,703
maybe then I'll start
to be more like the old me.
574
00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:21,792
And, uh, you know,
it took a few years
575
00:31:21,836 --> 00:31:23,116
to really realize that that's...
576
00:31:23,142 --> 00:31:24,491
not gonna happen.
577
00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:26,362
It was like, "What did
I do over there?
578
00:31:26,406 --> 00:31:29,409
Why did I do this?"
you know.
579
00:31:29,452 --> 00:31:31,367
And you try to regurgitate
this information
580
00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:33,195
to your loved ones,
and that's where
581
00:31:33,239 --> 00:31:35,415
it all kind of went downhill.
582
00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:38,244
Um, your family
and your friends,
583
00:31:38,287 --> 00:31:40,463
as much as they love you,
584
00:31:40,507 --> 00:31:42,465
they just don't understand,
you know?
585
00:31:46,382 --> 00:31:47,993
If I had a chance,
would I do it again?
586
00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:50,256
I would do it all over again...
587
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:53,041
to be able to be there
for... my brothers.
588
00:31:54,521 --> 00:31:56,001
Would I be there for...
589
00:31:56,044 --> 00:31:58,481
political reasons and bullshit,
590
00:31:58,525 --> 00:32:00,222
and the lies that we were told?
591
00:32:00,266 --> 00:32:02,137
No, I wouldn't be there.
592
00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:04,879
But would I be there for Josh...
593
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,968
for Langley, for First Sergeant?
594
00:32:07,012 --> 00:32:10,276
Yes.
Heartbeat.
595
00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:24,333
After the first tour, I got home
596
00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:25,900
and got married right away.
597
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,206
Um, we'd been planning it
598
00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:29,077
through letters
throughout the war.
599
00:32:29,121 --> 00:32:30,861
Um, I mean, I threw on
my dress blues,
600
00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:33,038
got married a couple of days
after I got home.
601
00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:35,257
And then when we found out
we had to do a second tour
602
00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:37,912
in Ramadi, um, to...
603
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,740
kick these guys
back outta there,
604
00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:41,022
you know,
we'd lost control of it
605
00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:42,786
and gotten all fucked up again.
606
00:32:42,830 --> 00:32:45,398
Um, I had a son at this point.
607
00:32:45,441 --> 00:32:46,703
When we got the call to leave,
608
00:32:46,747 --> 00:32:48,009
it was down to...
609
00:32:48,053 --> 00:32:49,489
Down to the wire
on the birth date.
610
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:52,231
Like, I-I was deployed
two weeks after he...
611
00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,884
My son, Holland, was born.
612
00:32:57,671 --> 00:32:59,673
Throughout the pregnancy,
prior to his birth,
613
00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:01,849
I was training new Marines,
614
00:33:01,892 --> 00:33:04,373
kids who...
just gotten out of...
615
00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:06,114
infantry school, you know,
just like I was
616
00:33:06,158 --> 00:33:08,551
a year and a half before that.
617
00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:09,876
And, uh, that was...
That was hard,
618
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:11,554
because I'm looking
at these guys
619
00:33:11,598 --> 00:33:14,644
and I know that I was
the same idiot that they were.
620
00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:17,343
Um, didn't know anything,
you know,
621
00:33:17,386 --> 00:33:19,040
about war or about anything.
622
00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:20,278
And I'm thinking to myself like,
623
00:33:20,302 --> 00:33:21,825
"I'm training these guys,
624
00:33:21,869 --> 00:33:23,629
you know, half of 'em
are gonna fuckin' die."
625
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,923
You know, and I'm watching
the news, and you...
626
00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:34,969
You saw what was going on
in Fallujah and Ramadi.
627
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,276
It's like, you know
what you're dropping into.
628
00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:38,886
And you try to tell 'em that,
629
00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:40,516
and you try to train 'em
for that, but...
630
00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:41,976
it's a tiny city.
631
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:43,673
So, you're not gonna,
like, avoid shit.
632
00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:45,980
Like, you're going to Ramadi,
you're going to Ramadi.
633
00:33:58,688 --> 00:34:00,908
The company I went to was, uh...
634
00:34:00,951 --> 00:34:03,084
called "The Blackhearts"...
That was our nickname.
635
00:34:03,128 --> 00:34:04,912
In boot camp, you learn general
636
00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:06,435
Marine Corps knowledge, right?
637
00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:09,090
And you hear, okay,
2nd Battalion, 5th Marines
638
00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:12,137
is the most decorated unit
in the Marine Corps.
639
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,878
All right?
So, I find out
640
00:34:14,922 --> 00:34:16,184
that I'm going to the 2/5,
641
00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:18,969
and I'm stoked, dude, you know?
642
00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:20,928
There was a legacy.
These dudes, uh,
643
00:34:20,971 --> 00:34:23,104
had just got back
from the invasion,
644
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,845
so these guys had all
been in the fight.
645
00:34:24,888 --> 00:34:27,108
And we're just these young
infantry Marines
646
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,850
who are like, "This is what
we signed up to do."
647
00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:32,722
So, these guys were
like our heroes, right?
648
00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:36,204
And, uh, being Blackhearts,
they...
649
00:34:36,248 --> 00:34:40,426
they instilled...
an ethos, almost, into us.
650
00:34:40,469 --> 00:34:42,384
And they made us
earn that title.
651
00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:47,650
And I think that's
why we functioned
652
00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:49,957
so well when we finally
got into Ramadi,
653
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,526
because we had this identity
as Blackhearts.
654
00:34:53,569 --> 00:34:56,833
And that's who
we had to live up to.
655
00:36:12,779 --> 00:36:14,389
Let's go. Let's go.
656
00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:17,305
Where is go?
Where is go, please?
657
00:36:17,349 --> 00:36:19,133
Please, I have...
please!
658
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,265
Why?
659
00:36:20,308 --> 00:36:22,092
Why husband, why?
660
00:36:26,488 --> 00:36:28,142
When we left
the first tour in Iraq,
661
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,405
we were... we were...
It was parades.
662
00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:32,799
It was people thanking us.
663
00:36:32,842 --> 00:36:34,342
And we were all
throwing up peace signs
664
00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:36,194
and, you know,
this thing was over.
665
00:36:36,237 --> 00:36:37,804
And the people
were kissing us and shit,
666
00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:39,240
like, you know, liberators.
667
00:36:39,284 --> 00:36:40,807
When we got there to Ramadi,
668
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,244
the combat outpost
and the guys we relieved,
669
00:36:43,288 --> 00:36:44,439
they'd been getting
their asses kicked
670
00:36:44,463 --> 00:36:46,465
for about, you know, six months.
671
00:36:46,508 --> 00:36:47,746
They didn't even
have advice for us.
672
00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,468
They just were like,
"Get me outta here."
673
00:36:49,511 --> 00:36:51,905
So, we went on a couple
patrols and, uh...
674
00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:53,472
and I don't know
if they hated us
675
00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:56,301
or if they were just
scared shitless, but, uh...
676
00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,433
it wasn't like when I left
Iraq the first time.
677
00:36:58,477 --> 00:37:00,281
When I left the first time,
it was like, you know,
678
00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:01,741
you were getting hugs
and kisses.
679
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,264
Uh, this time it was very...
680
00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:04,676
We'd walk down the road,
everybody went in the house,
681
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:06,441
you know, locked down.
682
00:37:06,485 --> 00:37:08,027
And we'd get hit.
You know, we'd get ambushed.
683
00:37:08,051 --> 00:37:09,183
And that's just how it was.
684
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,271
When we were over there,
685
00:37:10,315 --> 00:37:12,360
it's like, just because this...
686
00:37:12,404 --> 00:37:15,537
city is quiet right now
doesn't mean anything.
687
00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:18,018
This city will pop off
in a heartbeat, man.
688
00:37:21,064 --> 00:37:22,346
In a fuckin' heartbeat.
It just...
689
00:37:22,370 --> 00:37:24,154
turns like that.
690
00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:26,078
And if feels like
the whole city's
on top of you.
691
00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:29,682
Whoa!
How 'bout that shit?
692
00:37:34,513 --> 00:37:35,470
Whoa!
693
00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:36,602
Holy shit!
694
00:37:36,645 --> 00:37:37,907
Duck down, man.
695
00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:40,170
Holy shit!
696
00:37:40,214 --> 00:37:42,608
That is the motherfuckin'
window that saved my life.
697
00:37:45,088 --> 00:37:47,047
Fuck, man, we were...
we...
698
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,590
I don't... I don't even
know how to explain it,
699
00:37:48,614 --> 00:37:50,877
'cause I don't want to use
too strong of words,
700
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,618
but we were...
we were...
701
00:37:52,661 --> 00:37:55,447
we just fucked people up.
702
00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:56,883
I mean, it just was crazy.
703
00:37:56,926 --> 00:37:58,363
We had license to pretty much...
704
00:37:58,406 --> 00:38:00,321
to do whatever you want.
705
00:38:14,074 --> 00:38:15,815
Take cover!
706
00:38:38,228 --> 00:38:41,536
It's on, motherfucker!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
707
00:39:16,832 --> 00:39:19,574
Marines are killers, man.
That's what we are.
708
00:39:19,618 --> 00:39:22,142
We create hellfire,
that's what we do.
709
00:39:23,926 --> 00:39:26,407
That's probably the biggest
mistake we made is, uh...
710
00:39:26,451 --> 00:39:27,756
sending, you know,
711
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,759
100,000 Marines to...
to police Iraq.
712
00:39:30,803 --> 00:39:32,848
You don't send killers
to keep the peace, man.
713
00:39:32,892 --> 00:39:34,720
You don't.
714
00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:53,565
I'll never forget gettin' hit,
715
00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:56,394
and they told us...
716
00:39:56,437 --> 00:39:59,397
"We've got two different
rooms, all right?
717
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,443
"One room is for people
that are gonna live.
718
00:40:02,487 --> 00:40:04,880
"When they're injured,
you bring 'em to that room.
719
00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:08,710
"And the gym...
the gym is expectant.
720
00:40:08,754 --> 00:40:11,278
Gym means you ain't
gonna make it."
721
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:15,021
And the first night that
we brought guys back
722
00:40:15,064 --> 00:40:16,979
into the expectant room...
723
00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:19,504
the screams from that room...
724
00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:23,464
that's when reality sets in.
725
00:40:25,553 --> 00:40:28,382
You know, that guy's
not gonna pull through.
726
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:30,142
That was the same guy
that the night before,
727
00:40:30,166 --> 00:40:32,865
I was up on a turret with,
you know what I mean?
728
00:40:32,908 --> 00:40:35,389
And, I mean, where is he
gonna be tomorrow?
729
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:38,914
You know.
And...
730
00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:41,134
that's really the "firt" death...
731
00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:44,137
The first death is when
it really sinks in.
732
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,465
My thoughts out here
really are just,
733
00:41:07,508 --> 00:41:09,118
"This is my job.
This is what I do."
734
00:41:09,162 --> 00:41:10,380
If I died, uh...
735
00:41:10,424 --> 00:41:11,532
it's simple as that, you know.
736
00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:13,558
I basically told everyone
back home,
737
00:41:13,601 --> 00:41:16,038
"Until I come back home,
just consider me dead."
738
00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:17,387
You know, this way...
739
00:41:17,431 --> 00:41:18,626
You know, and that's how
I operate out here.
740
00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:20,652
I keep going.
Take a route and...
741
00:41:20,695 --> 00:41:22,001
Yeah, I went to the ground.
742
00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:23,718
Pulled me back, looked
at myself real quick,
743
00:41:23,742 --> 00:41:25,744
make sure I wasn't bleeding,
kept going.
744
00:41:25,787 --> 00:41:27,504
And that's what you gotta do,
you gotta keep pressing,
745
00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,114
not only for yourself,
but for the platoon,
746
00:41:29,138 --> 00:41:32,533
for the company,
to finish the mission.
747
00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:33,839
So, out here...
748
00:41:33,882 --> 00:41:35,580
you hear the things
whizzing by you,
749
00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:37,277
things are blowing up
around you,
750
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,583
but it's instilled in you
751
00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:41,890
to continue on, to not falter.
752
00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:43,762
It's... It's just
second nature for us.
753
00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:47,026
That pile of dirt...
754
00:41:47,069 --> 00:41:50,551
can almost guarantee you
that was an IED.
755
00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:53,206
We've been driving down
these little back roads...
756
00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:55,600
you've got all these
different alleys.
757
00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:58,864
Any time, an RPG gunner
could pop out and just...
758
00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:00,430
just hit us with one.
759
00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:05,261
This is the ghetto OP here.
760
00:42:10,963 --> 00:42:13,705
Let's go.
761
00:42:35,988 --> 00:42:37,598
Hey, I've been trying
to get a Frisbee
762
00:42:37,642 --> 00:42:39,557
for fuckin'...
since we been here.
763
00:42:49,044 --> 00:42:50,631
Well, I'll tell you what,
when we left the first time,
764
00:42:50,655 --> 00:42:52,787
I never thought
I'd be coming back.
765
00:42:52,831 --> 00:42:55,529
And, uh, when we left,
it was pretty peaceful.
766
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,705
And we came back, it was crazy.
767
00:42:57,749 --> 00:43:00,012
So...
I don't know.
768
00:43:00,055 --> 00:43:01,361
I'm actually having a ball.
769
00:43:01,404 --> 00:43:02,512
But it's a little different.
770
00:43:02,536 --> 00:43:04,016
This time,
I left a wife and a kid,
771
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:06,671
whereas last time I left
a fifth of Jack, you know?
772
00:43:08,368 --> 00:43:09,563
This time, yeah,
I'm definitely watchin'
773
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:11,066
my own ass a little bit more,
774
00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:12,981
just 'cause I want my kid
to have a dad.
775
00:43:17,507 --> 00:43:19,248
Oh!
776
00:43:20,772 --> 00:43:22,010
I don't know, I'm pretty
psyched to go home
777
00:43:22,034 --> 00:43:24,036
and get out
of the Marine Corps, but...
778
00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:25,404
now we have time
to do things like this,
779
00:43:25,428 --> 00:43:27,126
what we should be doing.
780
00:43:27,169 --> 00:43:28,431
Help these people out.
781
00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:30,105
Boost their morale,
boost their confidence
782
00:43:30,129 --> 00:43:31,585
so they can help us
finish this thing off.
783
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:32,673
'Cause that's what
it's gonna take,
784
00:43:32,697 --> 00:43:34,133
is the Iraqi people to help us.
785
00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:03,831
The first day back
in the States,
786
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,113
there's signs
all over the highway
787
00:45:05,137 --> 00:45:06,616
coming in through Fallbrook,
788
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:08,793
"Welcome home, 2/5!
Welcome home, 2/5!"
789
00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:10,272
There'll be somebody's name
790
00:45:10,316 --> 00:45:13,232
or something like that,
you know?
791
00:45:13,275 --> 00:45:15,321
They hold this formation,
we march up there
792
00:45:15,364 --> 00:45:17,758
all super motivated...
Everyone's marching in time,
793
00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:19,717
calling, like, that old
794
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,501
drill instructor cadence,
you know?
795
00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:24,330
In raggedy-ass cammies and shit.
796
00:45:24,373 --> 00:45:27,376
And, uh, people are...
taking pictures of us.
797
00:45:27,420 --> 00:45:30,031
And that's, like, actually
one of, like, the proudest
798
00:45:30,075 --> 00:45:32,991
I've ever felt
my entire life, man.
799
00:45:33,034 --> 00:45:34,775
Coming back
and everyone's, like,
800
00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:36,646
cheering for you and shit,
you know?
801
00:45:36,690 --> 00:45:39,475
Company... dismissed!
802
00:45:55,056 --> 00:45:56,884
What a great day.
803
00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:03,064
But after a couple days
of being home, it's like...
804
00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:08,809
"Well, fuckin' now what?"
You know what I'm saying?
805
00:48:06,971 --> 00:48:08,842
This is my area.
806
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:17,416
It's not insomnia, it's duty.
807
00:48:17,459 --> 00:48:19,157
That's what I say.
808
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,375
I stay up so that I can watch
809
00:48:20,419 --> 00:48:22,203
the whole complex go to sleep,
810
00:48:22,247 --> 00:48:24,336
and then I can go to sleep.
811
00:48:26,033 --> 00:48:27,774
Sittin' on my porch, man.
812
00:48:27,817 --> 00:48:29,645
It's where I go every night.
813
00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:46,967
You gotta have a spot
you can retreat to.
814
00:48:47,011 --> 00:48:49,274
It's gotta be your spot,
you know, where...
815
00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:52,146
you're kind of
in control, you know?
816
00:48:52,190 --> 00:48:53,756
And most of the guys I talk to,
817
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,802
they have that same shit...
Like, their basement,
818
00:48:55,845 --> 00:48:58,413
or their fuckin' backyard,
or whatever.
819
00:48:58,457 --> 00:49:02,156
Gotta have a place
to decompress, every day.
820
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,351
'Cause at the end of every day,
821
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:07,596
I'm full to the limit with...
822
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,468
stress and whatever.
823
00:49:13,472 --> 00:49:17,650
You have no fuckin' idea
what it's like to...
824
00:49:17,693 --> 00:49:19,826
not be able to sleep, man.
825
00:49:19,869 --> 00:49:23,090
It wears on you,
and you start to go,
826
00:49:23,134 --> 00:49:24,787
"I'm a burden to my family.
827
00:49:24,831 --> 00:49:27,399
"I'm a burden to myself.
I'm a burden to everybody.
828
00:49:27,442 --> 00:49:29,401
I should just fuckin'
shoot myself."
829
00:49:32,578 --> 00:49:33,840
I don't know, man, the long arm
830
00:49:33,883 --> 00:49:35,122
of the American government, I...
831
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,471
That was me,
that's who I was, man.
832
00:49:36,495 --> 00:49:38,845
I was the fuckin'...
833
00:49:38,888 --> 00:49:40,803
judge, jury, and executioner.
834
00:49:42,631 --> 00:49:44,459
And it... I didn't like it.
835
00:49:46,026 --> 00:49:47,158
I still don't like it.
836
00:49:47,201 --> 00:49:48,289
But I don't regret it.
837
00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:02,608
I feel like there's
a part of myself
838
00:50:02,651 --> 00:50:04,044
over there, you know?
839
00:50:04,088 --> 00:50:05,326
And that's why
I went back my fir...
840
00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:06,873
Like, after my first
combat tour.
841
00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,048
When I decided to go back,
842
00:50:08,092 --> 00:50:09,571
I felt I needed to, man.
843
00:50:09,615 --> 00:50:11,051
I still feel that...
844
00:50:11,095 --> 00:50:13,227
whatever it was
I was doing over there,
845
00:50:13,271 --> 00:50:14,663
it's not fuckin' done yet.
846
00:50:14,707 --> 00:50:15,795
I mean, I'm home and I know
847
00:50:15,838 --> 00:50:17,318
I'm not getting shot at anymore,
848
00:50:17,362 --> 00:50:20,060
and no one's, like,
really trying to kill me.
849
00:50:20,104 --> 00:50:23,368
But... I don't think
you can ever really...
850
00:50:25,152 --> 00:50:26,390
I don't know, man.
I don't think
851
00:50:26,414 --> 00:50:27,894
anybody ever really comes home.
852
00:50:27,937 --> 00:50:30,027
Being unarmed bugged
the shit outta me.
853
00:50:30,070 --> 00:50:33,247
Had to have... I had to have
some kind of weapon nearby.
854
00:50:33,291 --> 00:50:36,381
Um... I couldn't sleep.
855
00:50:36,424 --> 00:50:38,426
Falling asleep was this ordeal.
856
00:50:38,470 --> 00:50:39,862
I'd be tired and I'd lay down,
857
00:50:39,906 --> 00:50:41,429
and I'd lay there for two hours.
858
00:50:41,473 --> 00:50:44,737
My mind would
just go and go and go.
859
00:50:46,782 --> 00:50:49,089
The biggest hurt
for me was, you know,
860
00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:51,048
I've ruined people's lives.
861
00:50:51,091 --> 00:50:54,051
I arrested people
that I didn't even know
were terrorists.
862
00:50:54,094 --> 00:50:56,705
You know, I took fathers
away from children.
863
00:50:56,749 --> 00:50:59,360
I took children away
from fathers.
864
00:50:59,404 --> 00:51:01,928
And, not only that, but...
865
00:51:01,971 --> 00:51:04,670
I permanently took children
away from fathers.
866
00:51:04,713 --> 00:51:08,195
You know, I mean,
we pulled the fuckin' trigger.
867
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,371
There's no if, ands,
or buts about it.
868
00:51:10,415 --> 00:51:14,375
You know...
a killer's a killer.
869
00:51:14,419 --> 00:51:16,160
Period.
870
00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:21,817
And so, the first
few years were tough.
871
00:51:21,861 --> 00:51:23,447
You know, I spent
a lot of time drinking.
872
00:51:23,471 --> 00:51:25,319
You know, I got into trouble
with the law, you know.
873
00:51:25,343 --> 00:51:28,302
And, uh... I spent
a little time in jail.
874
00:51:28,346 --> 00:51:31,262
And, for me,
it was basically, um...
875
00:51:31,305 --> 00:51:33,481
you know, coming out of jail
and getting into the V.A.
876
00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:35,483
and realizing
the way I'm doing it,
877
00:51:35,527 --> 00:51:36,963
it's not working, you know?
878
00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:44,579
When I first got back, you know,
879
00:51:44,623 --> 00:51:46,451
I had a lot of rage issues.
I would...
880
00:51:46,494 --> 00:51:48,037
You know, my first apartment
that I had,
881
00:51:48,061 --> 00:51:50,194
there were so many
holes in the walls.
882
00:51:50,237 --> 00:51:52,979
You know, just trashed my car.
883
00:51:53,022 --> 00:51:55,199
I-I punctured the tires
on my own car one time
884
00:51:55,242 --> 00:51:56,548
'cause I was pissed off.
885
00:51:56,591 --> 00:51:57,897
Dented, you know,
the side of it,
886
00:51:57,940 --> 00:52:00,682
broke a window.
Um... I broke my own bones.
887
00:52:00,726 --> 00:52:02,597
Pulled a shotgun
on a neighbor one time.
888
00:52:02,641 --> 00:52:05,165
Spent, you know, almost
a night in the custody
889
00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,124
of the Long Beach
Police Department.
890
00:52:07,167 --> 00:52:10,083
Um, I just...
you know, I struggle
891
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,432
with rage in a big way,
892
00:52:11,476 --> 00:52:13,173
and it ruined relationships
for me and...
893
00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:15,871
And strained other
relationships for me,
894
00:52:15,915 --> 00:52:17,873
and put me to a place
where I kind of did
895
00:52:17,917 --> 00:52:20,659
draw off by myself
and get very alone and...
896
00:52:20,702 --> 00:52:23,618
And lost contact with all
but a couple of people.
897
00:52:27,622 --> 00:52:29,885
I've been on 32 different
types of medications.
898
00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:32,845
Anti-psychosis
to heavy narcotics,
899
00:52:32,888 --> 00:52:35,326
tranquilizers, all the way down.
900
00:52:35,369 --> 00:52:37,937
The pill-taking point
was my low.
901
00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:39,721
I mean, you know, that...
902
00:52:39,765 --> 00:52:41,723
That's when I actually
put a bullet...
903
00:52:41,767 --> 00:52:44,770
or a gun in my mouth, you know?
904
00:52:44,813 --> 00:52:46,641
Loaded up a fuckin'...
905
00:52:46,685 --> 00:52:47,966
a Glock right in front
of my wife.
906
00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:50,863
And, you know, told her...
907
00:52:50,906 --> 00:52:53,605
"This is it.
908
00:52:53,648 --> 00:52:55,563
I don't have anything else
to live for."
909
00:52:57,565 --> 00:53:02,222
And...
you know, it's...
910
00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:05,704
it's then that...
After that moment,
911
00:53:05,747 --> 00:53:07,247
the look that I seen
in my wife's eyes,
912
00:53:07,271 --> 00:53:09,011
I've never seen before.
913
00:53:09,055 --> 00:53:10,622
And it's... it was a look of,
914
00:53:10,665 --> 00:53:13,494
you know, of her being scared.
915
00:53:13,538 --> 00:53:14,930
I've never seen her
scared before.
916
00:53:14,974 --> 00:53:17,672
Not... not like that.
917
00:53:17,716 --> 00:53:20,588
And, I'll...
never forget it.
918
00:53:20,632 --> 00:53:22,547
Took that right on
out the mouth and...
919
00:53:24,723 --> 00:53:27,204
I haven't done it since,
you know what I mean?
920
00:53:27,247 --> 00:53:28,857
And from that moment on,
you know,
921
00:53:28,901 --> 00:53:32,165
I realized... I need help.
922
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,646
I didn't want to be defined as,
923
00:53:34,689 --> 00:53:36,909
you know, a Marine
or combat Marine.
924
00:53:36,952 --> 00:53:39,520
But what I realized
after ten years
925
00:53:39,564 --> 00:53:42,262
is that is a part of you,
and it does define you.
926
00:53:42,306 --> 00:53:45,222
And it's something that
for a long, long time,
927
00:53:45,265 --> 00:53:47,485
I tried to put
in the background,
928
00:53:47,528 --> 00:53:49,574
shake off, whatever
you want to call it,
929
00:53:49,617 --> 00:53:51,402
and it was
a real moment, actually,
930
00:53:51,445 --> 00:53:53,578
a real moment of clarity for me.
931
00:53:53,621 --> 00:53:55,275
Um, not too long ago.
932
00:53:55,319 --> 00:53:58,452
About a year ago, speaking
to a Vietnam veteran
933
00:53:58,496 --> 00:54:02,456
who basically said,
"Son, that never goes away.
934
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:03,936
"That's just the way it is.
935
00:54:03,979 --> 00:54:05,807
You're gonna have to learn
to deal with it.
936
00:54:26,872 --> 00:54:28,917
Daddy, there was...
937
00:54:28,961 --> 00:54:33,182
I got out of the Marines,
uh, Thanksgiving Day of '05.
938
00:54:33,226 --> 00:54:34,508
You're at home, you're safe,
and you're sitting there
939
00:54:34,532 --> 00:54:36,292
with your kid and your wife,
you know, and...
940
00:54:36,316 --> 00:54:37,535
and it was really over.
941
00:54:37,578 --> 00:54:40,320
That's... that's my mommy,
that's you.
942
00:54:40,364 --> 00:54:42,627
I saw the man on his worst day,
943
00:54:42,670 --> 00:54:45,020
and, you know,
I'm glad I did it,
944
00:54:45,064 --> 00:54:49,024
because now I know exactly
what to teach my son.
945
00:54:49,068 --> 00:54:51,505
You know, I know
exactly what to tell him.
946
00:54:51,549 --> 00:54:54,291
And I know exactly
how to treat him when...
947
00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:57,032
You know, when he wants
to go do that crap, you know?
948
00:54:57,076 --> 00:54:58,556
And... And I can
write music about it,
949
00:54:58,599 --> 00:55:00,471
and I can, uh...
950
00:55:00,514 --> 00:55:01,954
I suffered a little bit,
but I can...
951
00:55:01,994 --> 00:55:03,909
I can help a lot
of people, I think.
952
00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,034
Towards the middle
of that tour in Ramadi,
953
00:55:42,077 --> 00:55:43,427
I started to really
have an issue
954
00:55:43,470 --> 00:55:46,125
with the way we were...
handling things.
955
00:55:46,168 --> 00:55:48,388
Um... the whole...
956
00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:50,564
the interruption
of people's lives,
957
00:55:50,608 --> 00:55:52,044
I had a huge problem with.
958
00:55:52,087 --> 00:55:54,481
If you tell... start bitching
to your men about it,
959
00:55:54,525 --> 00:55:57,049
then you're just a useless
squad walkin' around.
960
00:55:57,092 --> 00:55:59,878
So, I'd use my guitar
as an outlet...
961
00:55:59,921 --> 00:56:02,402
you know, to...
To bitch and complain
962
00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:03,925
about the way things were going.
963
00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:06,493
And this way,
the boys aren't hearing me,
964
00:56:06,537 --> 00:56:09,366
uh, talk trash about...
About the war.
965
00:56:09,409 --> 00:56:11,106
And about the administration
we were under.
966
00:56:13,631 --> 00:56:16,721
As... As we would get hit
really bad or lose someone,
967
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:19,854
or someone
would get wounded, um,
968
00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:22,291
all this music became
reflective suddenly.
969
00:56:22,335 --> 00:56:25,817
The funny stuff
ended just immediately.
970
00:56:25,860 --> 00:56:27,819
That's when I became
a songwriter,
971
00:56:27,862 --> 00:56:29,081
right then and there.
972
00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,345
I started playing music
with a local band,
973
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:34,042
uh, just having fun.
974
00:56:34,086 --> 00:56:37,829
And I was getting ready
for a gig in Cincinnati.
975
00:56:37,872 --> 00:56:39,831
And I get the phone call
from Mike Cerre.
976
00:56:39,874 --> 00:56:43,008
And he was a journalist that
was embedded with us in Iraq.
977
00:56:43,051 --> 00:56:44,401
And, uh, he called me and said,
978
00:56:44,444 --> 00:56:46,054
"Hey, you know...
979
00:56:46,098 --> 00:56:47,447
You know
who Neil Young is?"
980
00:56:47,491 --> 00:56:49,101
I'm like, "Yeah.
Yeah, I know who he is."
981
00:56:49,144 --> 00:56:51,451
So, he's like, "I'm doing
this movie for him,
982
00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:53,671
"'CSNY/Déjà Vu.'
And he's, uh,
983
00:56:53,714 --> 00:56:55,257
"he's really into your music
and stuff, man.
984
00:56:55,281 --> 00:56:56,693
"He wants to...
he wants you to come up
985
00:56:56,717 --> 00:56:57,892
"and play with him and stuff.
986
00:56:57,936 --> 00:56:59,503
When he comes
through town."
987
00:56:59,546 --> 00:57:01,287
And I'm like,
"What?"
988
00:57:04,638 --> 00:57:06,510
What's the order? Here's the man.
989
00:57:06,553 --> 00:57:07,685
Oh, hey, Josh. Hey!
990
00:57:07,728 --> 00:57:09,904
How are you? Ah, give it up, big guy.
991
00:57:09,948 --> 00:57:11,558
How are ya?
Good to see ya!
992
00:57:11,602 --> 00:57:13,995
Winner time! Mark, mark, mark!
993
00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,388
Yeah, are you feeling good to be
994
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,539
back home for a while and...
995
00:57:16,563 --> 00:57:17,825
Yes!
I'm doing well.
996
00:57:17,869 --> 00:57:19,309
Taking it easy.
Adapting.Good. Great.
997
00:57:19,348 --> 00:57:21,133
Yeah, really.
998
00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,701
All right, let's do it.
999
00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:26,007
Ladies and gentlemen,
Neil Young!
1000
00:57:27,661 --> 00:57:29,097
The reason we did it
was to shoot
1001
00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:31,404
this documentary,
"CSNY/Déjà Vu."
1002
00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:32,927
We did Sundance together.
1003
00:57:32,971 --> 00:57:34,557
We did a couple other shows
that, you know...
1004
00:57:34,581 --> 00:57:36,670
and it's just been
going on ever since.
1005
00:57:36,714 --> 00:57:38,716
Jackie, I want
to thank you so much.
1006
00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,631
And it's a real pleasure
for me to introduce
1007
00:57:40,674 --> 00:57:42,154
this friend of mine.
1008
00:57:42,197 --> 00:57:44,983
A guy that's in our movie,
uh, "Déjà Vu."
1009
00:57:45,026 --> 00:57:49,030
He's a... he's a soldier
that was in Iraq, twice.
1010
00:57:49,074 --> 00:57:51,337
He's a songwriter,
1011
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:53,382
and he's here tonight
to play for you.
1012
00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:56,342
His name is Josh Hisle,
and he'll be playing
1013
00:57:56,385 --> 00:57:58,736
with his accompanist,
Jennifer Wheatley.
1014
00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:01,347
So, how about a big hand
for Josh and Jennifer?
1015
00:58:07,788 --> 00:58:09,877
Hi, I'm Josh.
This is Jennifer.
1016
00:58:09,921 --> 00:58:12,706
Um, wow!
1017
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:14,578
Neil Young.
1018
00:58:16,536 --> 00:58:18,886
All right, we're just gonna
get right into it, okay?
1019
00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:13,027
And what happened was,
1020
00:59:13,071 --> 00:59:14,309
once we started hitting the road
1021
00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:16,553
and started sharing this music,
1022
00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:18,293
I suddenly became this guy
1023
00:59:18,337 --> 00:59:20,252
that all these vets
wanted to talk to.
1024
00:59:20,295 --> 00:59:21,621
We'd have all these vets
in the crowd,
1025
00:59:21,645 --> 00:59:23,057
and they'd be
talking to us afterwards
1026
00:59:23,081 --> 00:59:24,865
about how... we keep 'em...
1027
00:59:24,909 --> 00:59:27,041
you know, we're keeping
'em alive, or...
1028
00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:29,609
or, uh, you know, they can
listen to our music
1029
00:59:29,653 --> 00:59:31,829
and be all right,
and feel all right.
1030
00:59:31,872 --> 00:59:33,613
And they can relate
to everything.
1031
00:59:33,657 --> 00:59:37,269
So... it just turned into
something real powerful, man.
1032
00:59:37,312 --> 00:59:39,029
And then when that happ...
Once that happens, man,
1033
00:59:39,053 --> 00:59:41,229
once you decide that...
1034
00:59:41,273 --> 00:59:43,188
that you care
about these people,
1035
00:59:43,231 --> 00:59:45,016
you're married to it
forever, you know?
1036
01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:10,911
Great job, man!
Great!
1037
01:00:10,955 --> 01:00:12,870
Thank you. All right.
1038
01:00:14,088 --> 01:00:16,613
Beautiful.
1039
01:00:30,801 --> 01:00:32,411
After Josh got out
1040
01:00:32,454 --> 01:00:34,215
and he started getting,
you know, a little famous
1041
01:00:34,239 --> 01:00:37,721
touring with Stills and Nash
and all those guys,
1042
01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:42,247
CNN did a piece on... on him,
and he was singing,
1043
01:00:42,290 --> 01:00:44,336
I think that song
"Traitor's Death,"
1044
01:00:44,379 --> 01:00:46,033
or something like that.
1045
01:00:46,077 --> 01:00:49,080
And CNN was doing
this piece about, you know,
1046
01:00:49,123 --> 01:00:51,648
just the whole anti-war thing.
1047
01:00:51,691 --> 01:00:53,016
And I'm still in, man,
I'm getting ready
1048
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:54,738
to go back again.
1049
01:00:54,781 --> 01:00:56,914
And I saw that shit,
and I was like,
1050
01:00:56,957 --> 01:00:58,916
"Fucking Hisle, dude."
1051
01:00:58,959 --> 01:01:02,746
I'm s... "Fuck that guy, dude.
How could you do that?"
1052
01:01:25,551 --> 01:01:28,467
I was so mad at him for
like the longest time, dude.
1053
01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:30,730
And then, I like... I came across
1054
01:01:30,774 --> 01:01:33,733
some of his other... I think
it was that song "Bail Me Out."
1055
01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:36,736
And this is a fucking pretty
righteous song, man, you know?
1056
01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:39,173
And especially after
I got out and started
1057
01:01:39,217 --> 01:01:43,177
looking at things
more objectively, and you know,
1058
01:01:43,221 --> 01:01:47,051
I started, like, "Well, I...
I pretty much agree with him."
1059
01:02:09,247 --> 01:02:12,337
My biggest hope is that people
can listen to my music
1060
01:02:12,380 --> 01:02:15,340
and see a painted picture
of, "A,"
1061
01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:16,689
what you're gonna have to do
1062
01:02:16,733 --> 01:02:18,256
if you go over there,
and the things
1063
01:02:18,299 --> 01:02:19,953
that you're gonna encounter.
1064
01:02:19,997 --> 01:02:22,390
And, "B," what you live with
1065
01:02:22,434 --> 01:02:24,915
for the rest of your life
after you do it.
1066
01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:26,873
If you can listen to music
or watch a film
1067
01:02:26,917 --> 01:02:28,875
and educate yourself,
and know what...
1068
01:02:28,919 --> 01:02:32,618
You know these horrors of war
without having to go do it.
1069
01:02:32,661 --> 01:02:35,403
That's the mission,
man, that's the mission.
1070
01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:39,320
My pleasure, man.
1071
01:02:47,241 --> 01:02:50,636
What a perfect night
for Josh Hisle
1072
01:02:50,679 --> 01:02:53,204
to be sharing his music with us.
1073
01:02:53,247 --> 01:02:55,336
Make welcome and celebrate
the Fourth of July
1074
01:02:55,380 --> 01:02:57,208
with Josh Hisle.
1075
01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:17,130
2008, I did Sundance with
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.
1076
01:05:17,174 --> 01:05:18,697
It was really cool.
1077
01:05:18,740 --> 01:05:20,500
After that ended, I started
looking for gigs,
1078
01:05:20,525 --> 01:05:22,590
came home and was... went on
the road with Mikey Ronstadt.
1079
01:05:22,614 --> 01:05:24,746
And we got a call
from Walt Michael,
1080
01:05:24,790 --> 01:05:27,140
who runs a music
and arts festival
1081
01:05:27,184 --> 01:05:28,533
called Common Ground
on the Hill.
1082
01:05:28,576 --> 01:05:31,928
And he hired us in
to tell our story,
1083
01:05:31,971 --> 01:05:34,234
and to... to play music
and to teach music.
1084
01:05:34,278 --> 01:05:36,497
And it's a great gig.
He's like, "It's a whole week,
1085
01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:38,978
and you live
on a college campus,
you get paid, you get fed."
1086
01:05:39,022 --> 01:05:43,026
And I get there, and it's just
this incredible community
1087
01:05:43,069 --> 01:05:45,898
of people who truly took me in.
1088
01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:48,814
And even though I was teaching,
I was learning so much,
1089
01:05:48,857 --> 01:05:50,598
making some of the best
friends in my life.
1090
01:05:50,642 --> 01:05:53,645
And I started
to heal as a result
1091
01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:55,429
of Common Ground on the Hill.
1092
01:06:31,683 --> 01:06:34,425
Thanks.
1093
01:06:34,468 --> 01:06:37,732
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
1094
01:06:49,918 --> 01:06:54,097
Common Ground on the Hill
was founded in 1994,
1095
01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:57,578
and the idea was
to bring together artists
1096
01:06:57,622 --> 01:07:00,407
and to foster dialogue
among artists
1097
01:07:00,451 --> 01:07:03,715
about day-to-day
boots on the ground issues
1098
01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:06,022
for all of us in our society.
1099
01:07:06,065 --> 01:07:07,762
At the same time,
we celebrate our arts,
1100
01:07:07,806 --> 01:07:10,461
and we believe that
a healthy society
1101
01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:13,246
is one that has
its arts happening.
1102
01:07:20,732 --> 01:07:24,083
Josh Hisle came to us,
I think four years ago,
1103
01:07:24,127 --> 01:07:29,436
and I was immediately
blown away by his songs,
1104
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:32,831
and his ability.
1105
01:07:32,874 --> 01:07:36,226
And not only ability, but his...
1106
01:07:36,269 --> 01:07:40,317
need to speak freely
and to speak truth.
1107
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:42,971
And I felt like
we needed to hear that,
1108
01:07:43,015 --> 01:07:46,279
and I feel that our country
and our world
1109
01:07:46,323 --> 01:07:47,802
needs to hear this.
1110
01:07:47,846 --> 01:07:54,157
We take the warriors
who, um... who serve us,
1111
01:07:54,200 --> 01:08:00,424
who serve our countries,
and we train them,
1112
01:08:00,467 --> 01:08:03,514
and they do their work
as requested.
1113
01:08:03,557 --> 01:08:05,951
And then, we forget about them.
1114
01:08:05,994 --> 01:08:08,432
We honor them.
1115
01:08:08,475 --> 01:08:11,913
In this generation,
we're honoring these people.
1116
01:08:11,957 --> 01:08:14,394
But I'm not sure
we follow up right,
1117
01:08:14,438 --> 01:08:18,268
and I'm not sure that, um,
unless we hear their stories
1118
01:08:18,311 --> 01:08:22,141
and allow them to be
okay with their stories,
1119
01:08:22,185 --> 01:08:24,709
that we're doing
our jobs as citizens.
1120
01:08:27,190 --> 01:08:30,454
We were asked to come back
a second year and a third year.
1121
01:08:30,497 --> 01:08:35,198
After a while, I decided
that this was helping me.
1122
01:08:35,241 --> 01:08:38,157
This was helping me
psychologically.
1123
01:08:38,201 --> 01:08:39,985
I was feeling
worth something again,
1124
01:08:40,028 --> 01:08:43,336
I was... you know, I was feeling
like I was contributing again.
1125
01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:46,078
I was writing music
that I wasn't just complaining
1126
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:49,516
about my woes anymore,
I was writing music
1127
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,040
that was helping me,
it was healing me, my own soul.
1128
01:08:52,084 --> 01:08:53,781
And their music
was healing my soul.
1129
01:08:53,825 --> 01:08:58,482
I just wanna thank you guys
from the bottom of my heart
1130
01:08:58,525 --> 01:09:01,267
for bringing me in here
four years ago
1131
01:09:01,311 --> 01:09:03,443
and saving my life.
1132
01:09:03,487 --> 01:09:06,054
It changed the game
for me completely.
1133
01:09:06,098 --> 01:09:08,318
War changes you, period.
1134
01:09:08,361 --> 01:09:11,408
It helps me a lot to hear
what everyone's thinking.
1135
01:09:11,451 --> 01:09:12,689
You know what I mean,
it helps me
1136
01:09:12,713 --> 01:09:14,324
to know how you guys feel.
1137
01:09:14,367 --> 01:09:16,195
So, I just wanted to thank
all of you,
1138
01:09:16,239 --> 01:09:18,763
and give yourselves
a huge round of applause.
1139
01:09:18,806 --> 01:09:20,982
Go ahead, give it up
for yourselves.
1140
01:09:21,026 --> 01:09:24,856
You guys are awesome.
1141
01:09:24,899 --> 01:09:26,219
I knew that if this
could help me,
1142
01:09:26,249 --> 01:09:28,033
it could help other veterans.
1143
01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:30,601
So, naturally, I reached out
to Blackhearts, people I knew,
1144
01:09:30,644 --> 01:09:32,516
that I knew,
I'd been in contact,
1145
01:09:32,559 --> 01:09:33,919
and I knew were having
a hard time,
1146
01:09:33,952 --> 01:09:36,389
or could... I think
could benefit from this.
1147
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:22,043
We formed the Vets Initiative
Common Ground on the Hill
1148
01:10:22,087 --> 01:10:23,654
three years ago.
1149
01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:25,327
We're bringing veterans...
Scholarshipping veterans
1150
01:10:25,351 --> 01:10:27,024
and bringing 'em to
Common Ground on the Hill,
1151
01:10:27,048 --> 01:10:29,181
to various places,
Westminster, Maryland,
1152
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:32,140
here in Gettysburg,
as well as Tucson, Arizona.
1153
01:10:32,184 --> 01:10:35,927
And the idea is to reintegrate
warriors, returning warriors
1154
01:10:35,970 --> 01:10:39,235
back into civilian society
through arts and music,
1155
01:10:39,278 --> 01:10:42,238
and... and classroom
programming.
1156
01:10:42,281 --> 01:10:45,110
And, you know, we raise money
throughout the year,
1157
01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:48,374
uh, just guerilla-style,
to bring these guys in,
1158
01:10:48,418 --> 01:10:51,247
and it's been successful
thus far.
1159
01:10:51,290 --> 01:10:54,119
Made a left turn and driven
about a mile and a half...
1160
01:10:59,690 --> 01:11:01,822
Hisle, he called me
and he told me
1161
01:11:01,866 --> 01:11:03,650
about this Common Ground event.
1162
01:11:03,694 --> 01:11:05,783
And he told me that...
Started... just kinda told me
1163
01:11:05,826 --> 01:11:07,239
something about, "Oh,
there's this, like, festival
1164
01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:10,222
"and there's, um... uh, music.
1165
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,791
There's, uh...
the trade skills, classes."
1166
01:11:13,834 --> 01:11:15,445
I talked to Blakley
for a little bit,
1167
01:11:15,488 --> 01:11:18,056
and he explained to me
what... what Common Ground was,
1168
01:11:18,099 --> 01:11:22,365
and... I couldn't pass it up.
1169
01:11:22,408 --> 01:11:25,281
First time Hans
told me about it,
1170
01:11:25,324 --> 01:11:27,283
I... I looked at the video,
1171
01:11:27,326 --> 01:11:30,024
and I was like,
"What the fuck is this?"
1172
01:11:30,068 --> 01:11:32,200
I mean, it was...
It was a hippie fest, you know?
1173
01:11:32,244 --> 01:11:33,854
It was like, it was artists.
1174
01:11:33,898 --> 01:11:35,258
Like, "Dude, I don't
play no music.
1175
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,988
What the hell
am I gonna do here?"
1176
01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:39,382
Obviously, it was a little bit
of culture shock at first.
1177
01:11:39,425 --> 01:11:41,993
But since I've been here,
over the last few days,
1178
01:11:42,036 --> 01:11:45,213
I think it's imperative
that veterans are here,
1179
01:11:45,257 --> 01:11:47,955
so that everybody else
can have a more educated opinion
1180
01:11:47,999 --> 01:11:50,436
on what we are doing
when we're in,
1181
01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,264
what we're doing
when we get out,
1182
01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:54,919
and that we're just people, too.
1183
01:11:54,962 --> 01:11:57,443
Don't knock it till you try it,
that's really the only...
1184
01:11:57,487 --> 01:11:59,227
The only way you can explain it.
1185
01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:01,142
Because it's not until
you get here
1186
01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:04,363
that you realize that
people still care about you.
1187
01:12:16,506 --> 01:12:19,073
Those of you in here
who aren't combat veterans,
1188
01:12:19,117 --> 01:12:20,248
you're in here for a reason.
1189
01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:22,033
You're in here to understand
1190
01:12:22,076 --> 01:12:24,383
that we're in here with you
to understand.
1191
01:12:24,427 --> 01:12:27,430
Uh, brought you here
to bridge a gap, you know.
1192
01:12:27,473 --> 01:12:30,607
When you come back,
being 23 years old
1193
01:12:30,650 --> 01:12:32,696
when I got out of the Army,
all of my friends,
1194
01:12:32,739 --> 01:12:34,238
I mean, they're just
getting done finishing up
1195
01:12:34,262 --> 01:12:36,134
their bachelor's degree,
and I don't even know
1196
01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:39,833
how to conduct myself
like a normal human being...
1197
01:12:39,877 --> 01:12:42,923
when I'm being
reintroduced into society.
1198
01:12:42,967 --> 01:12:44,795
My friends are like,
"What is wrong with you?
1199
01:12:44,838 --> 01:12:47,014
"Why are you driving
110 miles an hour,
1200
01:12:47,058 --> 01:12:50,366
dodging bags of trash
blowing across the road?"
1201
01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:55,153
And it's incredibly hard
for them to empathize
1202
01:12:55,196 --> 01:12:57,198
with what we've been through.
1203
01:12:57,242 --> 01:13:00,332
There'll be no shortage
of suicides this year.
1204
01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,290
There'll be no shortage
of wars in the future.
1205
01:13:02,334 --> 01:13:04,249
And just remember
that it's gonna...
1206
01:13:04,292 --> 01:13:06,686
There's gonna be a lot
more boys and girls
1207
01:13:06,730 --> 01:13:08,601
to take care of
that are coming back.
1208
01:13:08,645 --> 01:13:10,516
There were a couple
of other classes
1209
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:12,431
that I thought about taking.
1210
01:13:12,475 --> 01:13:15,956
And something just
drew me to this.
1211
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:19,873
I... I guess it's the need
to understand more.
1212
01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:22,572
You know, we love to say
"support our troops,"
1213
01:13:22,615 --> 01:13:24,400
and, "Oh, I support our vets."
1214
01:13:24,443 --> 01:13:27,838
But you know, flag waving
and all that kind of stuff
1215
01:13:27,881 --> 01:13:30,406
isn't... that's not
gonna do too much.
1216
01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:32,886
I think we have
a real responsibility to...
1217
01:13:32,930 --> 01:13:34,975
To do more to get to know them,
1218
01:13:35,019 --> 01:13:39,458
and to, uh, to find out
how we can help them.
1219
01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:41,286
To get their perspective
just puts everything
1220
01:13:41,329 --> 01:13:43,244
in a whole different light,
1221
01:13:43,288 --> 01:13:45,508
which I'm gonna
take away for me,
1222
01:13:45,551 --> 01:13:47,553
and you know,
remember forever, really.
1223
01:13:50,948 --> 01:13:53,080
One of the cool things
about the Veterans Initiative
1224
01:13:53,124 --> 01:13:56,040
is the cast, the vets that come.
1225
01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:57,650
We got a lot of young Iraq guys
1226
01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:59,260
that are really having
a hard time
1227
01:13:59,304 --> 01:14:02,046
trying to find
some way up and out.
1228
01:14:02,089 --> 01:14:04,875
Then you got Ragtime,
a Vietnam-era Marine.
1229
01:14:04,918 --> 01:14:06,746
He's found this level of peace,
1230
01:14:06,790 --> 01:14:10,097
and he's like a great mentor
to the younger guys.
1231
01:14:10,141 --> 01:14:13,710
And sometimes, just being
in contact with other...
1232
01:14:13,753 --> 01:14:18,541
With other warriors,
um... that's all you need,
1233
01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:20,519
just to be in touch again,
just to be able to talk
1234
01:14:20,543 --> 01:14:22,458
to someone
who speaks your language.
1235
01:14:30,161 --> 01:14:31,858
Well, as you can see,
1236
01:14:31,902 --> 01:14:34,818
we're making a totem pole
for everybody.
1237
01:14:34,861 --> 01:14:36,646
We're hopefully
gonna represent everybody
1238
01:14:36,689 --> 01:14:39,126
that came with us
in the initiative.
1239
01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:41,520
We got Fox 2/5's insignia.
1240
01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:43,653
Old Ragtime, who's an old
former Marine,
1241
01:14:43,696 --> 01:14:45,496
he wanted a peace symbol,
so he's been working
1242
01:14:45,524 --> 01:14:48,527
on his peace symbol and getting
everybody started in it.
1243
01:14:48,571 --> 01:14:52,226
I make music with a file,
they make music with a guitar.
1244
01:14:52,270 --> 01:14:53,967
It's all... it's all
the same thing.
1245
01:14:54,011 --> 01:14:57,188
Each one is art, it's just art
in a different direction.
1246
01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:02,628
It's almost surreal
because it's ten years of time
1247
01:15:02,672 --> 01:15:04,737
that have gone by since
I've seen a lot of these people.
1248
01:15:04,761 --> 01:15:08,373
You know, it's been a long road,
I guess you could say.
1249
01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:10,506
You... you either choose
to reinvent yourself
1250
01:15:10,549 --> 01:15:12,508
and change along the way,
or you...
1251
01:15:12,551 --> 01:15:15,336
you get stuck in the mire,
and that's those guys
1252
01:15:15,380 --> 01:15:17,271
that we're trying to help
and, you know, just show 'em
1253
01:15:17,295 --> 01:15:18,862
that it's okay to look forward.
1254
01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:22,605
It's okay to not be
the quintessential tough guys.
1255
01:15:22,648 --> 01:15:26,391
It's okay to... to not have to
think about it every day.
1256
01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:28,021
You know, you're not
doing any of the people
1257
01:15:28,045 --> 01:15:29,742
that were left behind
an injustice
1258
01:15:29,786 --> 01:15:31,744
by putting their memory away.
1259
01:15:31,788 --> 01:15:33,461
'Cause if they were alive,
they'd tell you,
1260
01:15:33,485 --> 01:15:34,680
"Why aren't you
living your life?
1261
01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:36,140
"Why aren't you keeping going?
1262
01:15:36,183 --> 01:15:37,683
Why aren't you
expressing yourself," you know?
1263
01:15:37,707 --> 01:15:39,273
So, you can either
let it destroy you,
1264
01:15:39,317 --> 01:15:41,164
or you can take it and use it
to heal the world.
1265
01:15:41,188 --> 01:15:42,929
And so, that's what
this place is all about,
1266
01:15:42,973 --> 01:15:45,192
and I absolutely love it.
1267
01:15:58,162 --> 01:16:00,468
When I got back from 'Nam,
I didn't want to be
1268
01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:02,819
that person that I was.
1269
01:16:02,862 --> 01:16:04,864
I didn't like him very much.
1270
01:16:04,908 --> 01:16:11,001
And Ragtime came about as I was
just searching for an identity.
1271
01:16:11,044 --> 01:16:14,613
I heard that on a song
by The Band
1272
01:16:14,657 --> 01:16:16,659
called "Rockin' Chair."
1273
01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:18,965
Not gonna sail
the seven seas anymore.
1274
01:16:19,009 --> 01:16:20,619
He's gonna sit on his porch
in his rocker
1275
01:16:20,663 --> 01:16:22,490
with his old friend Ragtime.
1276
01:16:22,534 --> 01:16:26,625
And... and I heard that name,
and... it's just who I became.
1277
01:16:26,669 --> 01:16:30,324
It just was so cool, that I felt
that that's who I was.
1278
01:16:59,658 --> 01:17:01,834
Being an artist
was quite a shift.
1279
01:17:01,878 --> 01:17:05,185
It seemed very strange that
that was kinda my path,
1280
01:17:05,229 --> 01:17:08,101
was gonna be into art
rather than violence,
1281
01:17:08,145 --> 01:17:09,625
or killing,
or something like that.
1282
01:17:09,668 --> 01:17:12,279
I just thought
my whole past life
1283
01:17:12,323 --> 01:17:16,806
hadn't been going towards
art at all.
1284
01:17:16,849 --> 01:17:21,071
I avoided it...
with extreme prejudice.
1285
01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:24,683
And, um... now, I want
to be an artist,
1286
01:17:24,727 --> 01:17:28,905
but I still don't really
think of myself as that.
1287
01:17:28,948 --> 01:17:33,692
I'm still just basically a grunt
that does some things well.
1288
01:17:40,612 --> 01:17:44,181
Well, this is a piece
I did about 15 years ago,
1289
01:17:44,224 --> 01:17:49,752
when, um, I was just starting
to be diagnosed with PTSD.
1290
01:17:49,795 --> 01:17:53,364
The head is a mass
of disorganized matter.
1291
01:17:53,407 --> 01:17:59,457
And the hair, it swirls
between chaos and order.
1292
01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:02,025
The shoulders are crying
deep blue water,
1293
01:18:02,068 --> 01:18:05,115
and the neck
is a simmering volcano.
1294
01:18:05,158 --> 01:18:09,685
And that's how life was
for a while.
1295
01:18:09,728 --> 01:18:12,513
This gold beam
is coming in to try to defuse
1296
01:18:12,557 --> 01:18:15,734
the disorganization in there
and bring healing.
1297
01:18:15,778 --> 01:18:17,562
I guess that's what
this is gonna try
1298
01:18:17,605 --> 01:18:20,347
to put the pieces back together.
1299
01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:30,488
It took 30 years till
they started recognizing PTSD.
1300
01:18:30,531 --> 01:18:32,708
And so, all those years
in there,
1301
01:18:32,751 --> 01:18:35,058
I went through a marriage,
I went through a lot of things,
1302
01:18:35,101 --> 01:18:36,668
you know, and it's like,
I didn't know
1303
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:38,365
what was wrong with me.
1304
01:18:38,409 --> 01:18:41,238
And when the first night
I got to Common Ground,
1305
01:18:41,281 --> 01:18:44,241
it was just like, all these guys
1306
01:18:44,284 --> 01:18:46,025
and all this energy
that I hadn't felt
1307
01:18:46,069 --> 01:18:48,767
in that mass
for a long, long time.
1308
01:18:48,811 --> 01:18:50,421
I loved it.
1309
01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:56,470
I feel like
I'm over the hill, man.
1310
01:18:56,514 --> 01:18:59,212
But I can still have
a few shots in...
1311
01:18:59,256 --> 01:19:01,519
I can help
the younger bucks with.
1312
01:19:01,562 --> 01:19:04,565
But they gotta be there, too.
1313
01:19:04,609 --> 01:19:06,959
And that's why I want to be
a part of Common Ground,
1314
01:19:07,003 --> 01:19:10,658
'cause there's people
actually walking the walk.
1315
01:19:12,835 --> 01:19:17,970
I do feel that I have not
lived in vain.
1316
01:19:18,014 --> 01:19:21,104
Maybe somewhere down the road,
someone will look at my life
1317
01:19:21,147 --> 01:19:25,630
and say, "Well, Ragtime
wasn't drinking the Kool-Aid."
1318
01:19:43,169 --> 01:19:44,954
War sucks.
1319
01:19:47,260 --> 01:19:50,089
There's never been a good war
or a bad peace.
1320
01:19:52,613 --> 01:19:54,398
As far as being a warrior goes,
1321
01:19:54,441 --> 01:19:58,402
I'm very proud that I was able
to accomplish that in my life,
1322
01:19:58,445 --> 01:19:59,882
and I feel good about that.
1323
01:19:59,925 --> 01:20:04,234
But what I did with that
was not good at all.
1324
01:20:04,277 --> 01:20:07,803
I don't like what we did
to the Vietnamese people at all.
1325
01:20:07,846 --> 01:20:11,110
It's put a hole in my soul
that's still there.
1326
01:20:11,154 --> 01:20:13,199
It ain't over yet, and I've...
1327
01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:17,682
I've been a grunt for...
Since 1963.
1328
01:20:20,467 --> 01:20:22,034
It's okay to be a warrior.
1329
01:20:22,078 --> 01:20:24,080
It's strength,
it's not the fight.
1330
01:20:24,123 --> 01:20:28,867
You know, feeling more
like a warrior now.
1331
01:20:28,911 --> 01:20:31,435
As long as I'm here, I'm...
It's the American Dream.
1332
01:20:31,478 --> 01:20:33,393
Right on.
1333
01:20:33,437 --> 01:20:37,833
America forgot what
it was supposed to be doing.
1334
01:20:37,876 --> 01:20:40,400
But I remember.
1335
01:20:54,414 --> 01:20:57,069
So, this is the worst part
right here.
1336
01:20:57,113 --> 01:20:59,855
Just, you know, like,
being on the 405 right here
1337
01:20:59,898 --> 01:21:02,509
where it kind of merges
with the 101,
1338
01:21:02,553 --> 01:21:06,209
and then when it starts to,
you know, go more south
1339
01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:11,954
through the Getty Center
and into the Wilshire District.
1340
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:15,044
That territory, that just
kind of...
1341
01:21:15,087 --> 01:21:17,046
It really gets me,
'cause right here,
1342
01:21:17,089 --> 01:21:18,656
you feel like you're
bottlenecked in,
1343
01:21:18,699 --> 01:21:20,527
and like, you know,
there's people over there
1344
01:21:20,571 --> 01:21:24,096
that somebody can post if they
really didn't like other people.
1345
01:21:24,140 --> 01:21:26,359
It's a tactical advantage
for the enemy.
1346
01:21:26,403 --> 01:21:28,927
This place is...
I mean, a lot of casualties
1347
01:21:28,971 --> 01:21:30,494
could happen here.
1348
01:21:30,537 --> 01:21:33,889
And it's just, you know,
all it takes is one asshole
1349
01:21:33,932 --> 01:21:39,459
to go up there and, you know...
make people's lives a hell.
1350
01:21:43,420 --> 01:21:47,815
I only did one tour in Iraq.
I invaded, and, uh...
1351
01:21:47,859 --> 01:21:51,689
I mean, like, everybody
that was in my fire team
1352
01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:53,734
is... is gone now.
1353
01:21:53,778 --> 01:21:56,346
They died either coming home
or serving
1354
01:21:56,389 --> 01:21:58,652
in Ramadi the second time.
1355
01:21:58,696 --> 01:22:02,700
These guys were all guys that
had just extraordinary futures
1356
01:22:02,743 --> 01:22:04,615
laid out for them.
1357
01:22:06,878 --> 01:22:10,490
Yeah, I mean, in some sense,
I feel like I betrayed them
1358
01:22:10,534 --> 01:22:12,971
because I didn't
go back with them.
1359
01:22:13,015 --> 01:22:14,799
That guilt just starts
to set in,
1360
01:22:14,842 --> 01:22:18,194
and I felt
this urge to still help.
1361
01:22:18,237 --> 01:22:20,370
My service was not done.
1362
01:22:20,413 --> 01:22:23,503
And I couldn't
let my brothers down.
1363
01:22:25,244 --> 01:22:28,160
You just gotta live
your life wholly and fully,
1364
01:22:28,204 --> 01:22:31,947
and peacefully, and you gotta
show that that is possible,
1365
01:22:31,990 --> 01:22:34,166
and that's how you honor them.
1366
01:22:34,210 --> 01:22:37,648
The things I... I really
honed in on
1367
01:22:37,691 --> 01:22:41,304
to help me heal
were simple things,
1368
01:22:41,347 --> 01:22:43,828
like planting your own
vegetables
1369
01:22:43,871 --> 01:22:47,266
and building,
you know, simple things.
1370
01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:50,226
Your dog, feeding him.
1371
01:22:50,269 --> 01:22:56,449
Daily tasks that are routines
that bring you so much joy.
1372
01:22:57,755 --> 01:23:01,715
You know, cooking
and loving food,
1373
01:23:01,759 --> 01:23:06,416
and loving
how a community works,
1374
01:23:06,459 --> 01:23:07,828
especially the folk scene,
you know,
1375
01:23:07,852 --> 01:23:09,375
the folk... the folk communities,
1376
01:23:09,419 --> 01:23:15,033
where people are sharing
music and food and stories.
1377
01:23:15,077 --> 01:23:18,384
Those things really kind of
give me a sense of purpose
1378
01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:21,779
and a sense to move on.
1379
01:23:21,822 --> 01:23:25,913
Like Ragtime, he's reached
the farthest stage of healing,
1380
01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:27,915
I mean, that you can probably
possibly reach.
1381
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:29,961
He's found his inner peace.
1382
01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:34,052
He knows he has to live
with the tragedies in his life,
1383
01:23:34,096 --> 01:23:36,402
but he doesn't dwell on 'em.
1384
01:23:36,446 --> 01:23:39,101
That is, in my eyes,
it is attainable.
1385
01:23:39,144 --> 01:23:40,667
I know it is.
1386
01:23:40,711 --> 01:23:42,254
I know it is because I know
I have support
1387
01:23:42,278 --> 01:23:44,193
from other veterans.
1388
01:23:44,236 --> 01:23:46,891
A lot of guys, they just get out
1389
01:23:46,934 --> 01:23:49,546
and they're... they're
really lost, you know?
1390
01:23:49,589 --> 01:23:52,418
And there's other things that
need to happen, obviously,
1391
01:23:52,462 --> 01:23:57,206
at the local level, to help
veterans heal more holistically.
1392
01:23:57,249 --> 01:23:58,555
The work's not done.
1393
01:23:58,598 --> 01:24:00,078
This war is gonna keep going on,
1394
01:24:00,122 --> 01:24:03,777
and we need to keep
welcoming these guys home
1395
01:24:03,821 --> 01:24:06,432
and getting them the services
they need,
1396
01:24:06,476 --> 01:24:08,478
and the government
can't do that.
1397
01:24:08,521 --> 01:24:11,133
The government
can provide infrastructure,
1398
01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:14,788
but it can't... it can't
touch down at a local level,
1399
01:24:14,832 --> 01:24:16,703
at a grassroots level,
it just can't.
1400
01:24:16,747 --> 01:24:21,273
You need empowered veterans
to empower other veterans
1401
01:24:21,317 --> 01:24:24,233
to do these things.
1402
01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:40,858
Matt Lorscheider, he was a...
he was a Marine infantryman
1403
01:24:40,901 --> 01:24:45,384
from Fox company,
2nd Battalion, 5th Marines.
1404
01:24:45,428 --> 01:24:47,995
After that, he went to college,
got his bachelor's,
1405
01:24:48,039 --> 01:24:50,172
and followed
by a master's degree,
1406
01:24:50,215 --> 01:24:55,960
and... now has decided
to help homeless veterans
1407
01:24:56,003 --> 01:24:58,963
with the New Directions program.
1408
01:24:59,006 --> 01:25:01,661
So, we're gonna go
pay him a visit right now
1409
01:25:01,705 --> 01:25:05,448
and get a little bit of...
of information
1410
01:25:05,491 --> 01:25:08,320
on what he has to say about it,
and what he's been doing
1411
01:25:08,364 --> 01:25:10,714
since he's been out
of the Marine Corps.
1412
01:25:16,807 --> 01:25:19,505
The veteran population
we work with is 100% homeless.
1413
01:25:19,549 --> 01:25:21,507
One doesn't become homeless
because they have
1414
01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:23,596
excellent job skills,
for the most part.
1415
01:25:23,640 --> 01:25:27,731
So, we're addressing
the statistics that, you know,
1416
01:25:27,774 --> 01:25:30,125
probably 98% of our population
1417
01:25:30,168 --> 01:25:32,475
could use some retraining
in those skills.
1418
01:25:32,518 --> 01:25:35,869
There is a correlation
between companies
1419
01:25:35,913 --> 01:25:38,089
that have a reputation
for bad customer service
1420
01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,222
and companies that pay low wages
1421
01:25:40,265 --> 01:25:42,156
and give not a lot of hours,
and don't pay benefits,
1422
01:25:42,180 --> 01:25:43,616
and those things are connected.
1423
01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:45,357
I first came to work here
1424
01:25:45,401 --> 01:25:47,596
because I wanted to do something
that'd help my fellow vets.
1425
01:25:47,620 --> 01:25:49,424
And it just, like,
it made a big difference to me
1426
01:25:49,448 --> 01:25:51,885
when I was working with people
and they were or weren't vets.
1427
01:25:51,929 --> 01:25:54,758
You know, I... when I was trying
to talk to somebody
1428
01:25:54,801 --> 01:25:57,021
about my situations,
and they weren't a veteran,
1429
01:25:57,064 --> 01:25:58,544
no matter how much
they tried to say,
1430
01:25:58,588 --> 01:26:00,000
"Oh, well, I work
with veterans all the time,"
1431
01:26:00,024 --> 01:26:01,523
or, "Oh, my... you know,
my husband's a vet,"
1432
01:26:01,547 --> 01:26:03,462
or, "My cousin's a vet,"
or, "My uncle's a vet,"
1433
01:26:03,506 --> 01:26:05,072
it's not the same.
1434
01:26:05,116 --> 01:26:06,789
It's not the same as if you
haven't really done it.
1435
01:26:06,813 --> 01:26:09,381
It gives me a certain level
of legitimacy when dealing
1436
01:26:09,425 --> 01:26:12,036
with combat veterans
and combat arms veterans
1437
01:26:12,079 --> 01:26:13,535
that have... that have been
in that kind of stuff,
1438
01:26:13,559 --> 01:26:15,213
where I can say, you know what,
1439
01:26:15,257 --> 01:26:16,669
you know, I've had people
shooting at me, too.
1440
01:26:16,693 --> 01:26:18,018
You know, I've...
I've shot people.
1441
01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:19,826
I know what that's about.
1442
01:26:36,103 --> 01:26:39,324
There's kind of a trend
going on right now,
1443
01:26:39,368 --> 01:26:40,978
and it's been going on
for a few years,
1444
01:26:41,021 --> 01:26:43,241
where guys are getting
kicked out of the military.
1445
01:26:43,285 --> 01:26:46,462
You know, they basically
act out with rage
1446
01:26:46,505 --> 01:26:49,595
related to PTSD, or they start
using drugs to self-medicate,
1447
01:26:49,639 --> 01:26:51,554
or they start using
alcohol to self-medicate.
1448
01:26:51,597 --> 01:26:54,209
And when they get
kicked out on OTHs...
1449
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:55,775
On Other Than Honorable
discharges,
1450
01:26:55,819 --> 01:26:58,343
they lose their entitlement
to VA healthcare,
1451
01:26:58,387 --> 01:27:00,302
including healthcare
and mental healthcare
1452
01:27:00,345 --> 01:27:02,782
for the very conditions
that got them kicked out,
1453
01:27:02,826 --> 01:27:06,960
conditions that were started
because they served in combat.
1454
01:27:07,004 --> 01:27:09,789
That's absolutely
criminal to me,
1455
01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:11,941
because they're putting
a whole generation of veterans
1456
01:27:11,965 --> 01:27:13,967
directly into the streets
by doing that.
1457
01:27:14,011 --> 01:27:15,752
It needs to stop right away.
1458
01:27:15,795 --> 01:27:17,928
And you can print that,
you can tell that to Congress,
1459
01:27:17,971 --> 01:27:20,104
you could tell that to Obama,
whoever's in charge.
1460
01:27:20,147 --> 01:27:22,498
Like, that needs
to stop yesterday.
1461
01:27:39,689 --> 01:27:41,560
No matter where
my career takes me,
1462
01:27:41,604 --> 01:27:44,346
you know, I know it's gonna be
doing something
1463
01:27:44,389 --> 01:27:47,827
that benefits veterans
and society, you know.
1464
01:27:47,871 --> 01:27:51,527
I... my desire to serve
my country and all that
1465
01:27:51,570 --> 01:27:55,705
didn't end the day I,
you know, got my DD 214.
1466
01:27:55,748 --> 01:27:57,620
My purpose
is I wanna help people,
1467
01:27:57,663 --> 01:27:59,685
and I'm starting with people
like me, other veterans.
1468
01:27:59,709 --> 01:28:03,190
You know, veterans that...
That maybe didn't take advantage
1469
01:28:03,234 --> 01:28:04,975
of their opportunities
the way I did,
1470
01:28:05,018 --> 01:28:08,195
or you know, guys who are just
struggling and need a hand.
1471
01:28:08,239 --> 01:28:09,956
That's what we did in
the military, that's what we did
1472
01:28:09,980 --> 01:28:12,045
in the Marine Corps, you know,
you helped a buddy out.
1473
01:28:12,069 --> 01:28:13,810
I'm not gonna stop
doing that now.
1474
01:28:13,853 --> 01:28:15,440
You know, once a Marine,
always a Marine.
1475
01:28:15,464 --> 01:28:18,031
That's what
it's all about for me.
1476
01:28:21,470 --> 01:28:24,429
It gives me a great deal
of hope to see
1477
01:28:24,473 --> 01:28:28,825
Marines I served with,
Marines I didn't serve with,
1478
01:28:28,868 --> 01:28:30,566
warriors from all
different branches,
1479
01:28:30,609 --> 01:28:32,089
starting these small
organizations
1480
01:28:32,132 --> 01:28:33,786
to help one another.
1481
01:28:33,830 --> 01:28:35,416
That's the potential here,
and that's what's happening.
1482
01:28:35,440 --> 01:28:37,355
As we empower each other
as veterans,
1483
01:28:37,399 --> 01:28:40,619
and then we start bridging
the gap with civilians again,
1484
01:28:40,663 --> 01:28:42,273
and all these people
are empowered,
1485
01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:44,493
and they all
are so happy to help,
1486
01:28:44,536 --> 01:28:47,887
and they're so willing to work,
1487
01:28:47,931 --> 01:28:51,369
it's like, it just spreads
like wildfire.
1488
01:28:51,413 --> 01:28:52,805
Although we all
have our issues...
1489
01:28:52,849 --> 01:28:54,764
And make no mistake,
going to combat,
1490
01:28:54,807 --> 01:28:56,548
you don't come home the same...
1491
01:28:56,592 --> 01:28:58,309
But to see 'em going forward
in spite of that
1492
01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:00,378
gives me immense hope,
and for the sake of hope,
1493
01:29:00,422 --> 01:29:02,119
we have to keep doing this.
1494
01:29:12,303 --> 01:29:15,132
We had did the run, you know,
1495
01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:18,657
the couple hundred mile
running gun fight to Baghdad.
1496
01:29:18,701 --> 01:29:21,399
And then after
we secured Baghdad,
1497
01:29:21,443 --> 01:29:23,706
I guess the forces...
The US forces
1498
01:29:23,749 --> 01:29:26,404
kinda spread out
across the country.
1499
01:29:26,448 --> 01:29:29,494
My unit, we were tasked
in the Babylon province.
1500
01:29:29,538 --> 01:29:32,062
So, we were down by, you know,
the ruins of Babylon.
1501
01:29:32,105 --> 01:29:33,629
And of course,
while we were there,
1502
01:29:33,672 --> 01:29:35,171
we would do a lot
of counterambush patrols.
1503
01:29:35,195 --> 01:29:36,825
We'd go out in the city
and basically, you know,
1504
01:29:36,849 --> 01:29:38,808
try and elicit a response,
1505
01:29:38,851 --> 01:29:40,636
you know, from the...
From the enemy fighters
1506
01:29:40,679 --> 01:29:42,159
that, you know, were in the...
1507
01:29:42,202 --> 01:29:43,900
That were out there
kinda waiting.
1508
01:29:43,943 --> 01:29:48,948
And we were headed out of
the city on one of the routes,
1509
01:29:48,992 --> 01:29:53,213
and they had 500
20-millimeter tank rounds
1510
01:29:53,257 --> 01:29:55,564
daisy-chained together
and wired to a car battery
1511
01:29:55,607 --> 01:29:57,348
laying off the road.
1512
01:29:57,392 --> 01:30:00,656
And so, the... the Iraqi Reform
fighter or whoever it was,
1513
01:30:00,699 --> 01:30:03,485
you know, waited until we,
you know, rolled up on the IED,
1514
01:30:03,528 --> 01:30:06,575
and then set if off when
it was right next to our tire.
1515
01:30:14,626 --> 01:30:17,716
That was the first IED attack
for our unit
1516
01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:19,239
of the entire war.
1517
01:30:19,283 --> 01:30:21,285
Luckily, they weren't
very good at it then.
1518
01:30:21,328 --> 01:30:23,287
You know, nobody was
seriously injured.
1519
01:30:23,330 --> 01:30:25,594
But it was... it was
mainly the blast wave.
1520
01:30:25,637 --> 01:30:28,466
You know, as that blast
passes through your brain,
1521
01:30:28,510 --> 01:30:31,251
you know, it... it could
do some serious damage,
1522
01:30:31,295 --> 01:30:33,515
you know, long-term damage.
1523
01:30:33,558 --> 01:30:35,778
And at the time,
you know, in '03,
1524
01:30:35,821 --> 01:30:37,954
they didn't understand
blast wave injuries,
1525
01:30:37,997 --> 01:30:40,391
you know, traumatic brain injury
as well as they do now.
1526
01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,219
Had that happened today,
you know,
1527
01:30:42,262 --> 01:30:44,613
I'd spend the next 30 days
in a dark room, you know,
1528
01:30:44,656 --> 01:30:47,442
resting the brain
and giving it time to heal.
1529
01:30:47,485 --> 01:30:50,488
But back then, you know,
I wasn't missing any limbs,
1530
01:30:50,532 --> 01:30:52,031
you know what I mean,
and the next day,
1531
01:30:52,055 --> 01:30:53,448
we're out on patrol
doing it again.
1532
01:31:05,677 --> 01:31:06,741
When we got out
of the Marine Corps,
1533
01:31:06,765 --> 01:31:08,637
Kenny and I stayed in touch.
1534
01:31:08,680 --> 01:31:12,597
He was someone who I always held
as a... as a close friend.
1535
01:31:12,641 --> 01:31:17,254
And it was very difficult,
because I knew him before Iraq.
1536
01:31:17,297 --> 01:31:20,300
So, I knew
the happy-go-lucky kid,
1537
01:31:20,344 --> 01:31:25,262
the guy that was just overall
an up-spirit type of person.
1538
01:31:25,305 --> 01:31:28,526
And so, when we came back,
you know, it was pretty obvious
1539
01:31:28,570 --> 01:31:30,702
that he was struggling
and having some problems.
1540
01:31:37,840 --> 01:31:40,233
About ten years after
getting back from Iraq
1541
01:31:40,277 --> 01:31:42,197
and going through the VA,
you know, going through
1542
01:31:42,235 --> 01:31:44,847
the process of being treated
for posttraumatic stress,
1543
01:31:44,890 --> 01:31:46,805
my doc had prescribed
a service dog.
1544
01:31:46,849 --> 01:31:48,981
He said, you know,
"I think a service dog
1545
01:31:49,025 --> 01:31:51,157
"would be the next best
stage treatment for you
1546
01:31:51,201 --> 01:31:52,855
in your posttraumatic stress."
1547
01:31:52,898 --> 01:31:55,379
And so, you know, I started
going through the process
1548
01:31:55,422 --> 01:31:57,599
of trying to find
an organization to work with.
1549
01:31:57,642 --> 01:32:00,993
The VA doesn't provide them
or pay for 'em,
1550
01:32:01,037 --> 01:32:02,908
so you know, basically,
I was on my own,
1551
01:32:02,952 --> 01:32:06,521
just like any other vet,
you know, that's gonna be trying
1552
01:32:06,564 --> 01:32:08,566
to figure out where to get
a service dog.
1553
01:32:08,610 --> 01:32:11,874
My best option turned out
to be going with an organization
1554
01:32:11,917 --> 01:32:13,832
that wasn't a nonprofit
that actually charged me
1555
01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:15,834
$15,000 for Atlas.
1556
01:32:15,878 --> 01:32:18,837
And you know, being a disabled
Marine on disability,
1557
01:32:18,881 --> 01:32:22,449
you know, and having that...
That fixed income, you know,
1558
01:32:22,493 --> 01:32:24,974
I understand that most
other vets in my position,
1559
01:32:25,017 --> 01:32:26,734
you know, they're just not
gonna be able to afford that.
1560
01:32:26,758 --> 01:32:28,693
I called him, I'm like, what's...
What are you talking about?
1561
01:32:28,717 --> 01:32:31,067
You know, why does a dog
cost $15,000?
1562
01:32:31,110 --> 01:32:33,765
I knew he was
service connected 100%,
1563
01:32:33,809 --> 01:32:35,351
so I said, "Why isn't the VA
paying for this,
1564
01:32:35,375 --> 01:32:36,788
you know, and what
is this all about?"
1565
01:32:36,812 --> 01:32:38,988
So, during that
initial conversation
1566
01:32:39,031 --> 01:32:42,644
when he's explaining to me
how this dog is helping him
1567
01:32:42,687 --> 01:32:44,602
and what the dog can do for him,
1568
01:32:44,646 --> 01:32:47,779
it was a pretty significant
moment in my life
1569
01:32:47,823 --> 01:32:49,738
that I remember,
because I knew that
1570
01:32:49,781 --> 01:32:52,958
that was going to be
a fantastic opportunity
1571
01:32:53,002 --> 01:32:54,743
to help other veterans.
1572
01:32:57,006 --> 01:32:59,138
I was trained to, you know,
turn it on.
1573
01:32:59,182 --> 01:33:00,923
I was trained
to turn on that kill switch.
1574
01:33:00,966 --> 01:33:05,231
I was... I was trained to...
thrive in combat and survive.
1575
01:33:05,275 --> 01:33:08,408
But the problem comes back,
is when we come back stateside,
1576
01:33:08,452 --> 01:33:10,193
you know, and we take
that uniform off
1577
01:33:10,236 --> 01:33:12,761
and we, you know,
take the weapons to the armory,
1578
01:33:12,804 --> 01:33:15,459
and you go back to your house,
1579
01:33:15,502 --> 01:33:17,592
you know, and you go back
to your wife,
1580
01:33:17,635 --> 01:33:20,899
and you go back
to that civilian setting.
1581
01:33:20,943 --> 01:33:22,422
We're not trained
to turn it off.
1582
01:33:33,738 --> 01:33:36,045
We're not trained to turn off
that hyper-vigilance,
1583
01:33:36,088 --> 01:33:38,743
those survival instincts
that we have,
1584
01:33:38,787 --> 01:33:40,440
that were reinforced and honed
1585
01:33:40,484 --> 01:33:42,878
depending on how long
you were there and how close,
1586
01:33:42,921 --> 01:33:44,880
you know, you came to dying
while you were there.
1587
01:33:55,891 --> 01:33:57,719
My Battle Buddy,
I'll take him to the mall.
1588
01:33:57,762 --> 01:34:00,373
You know, I take him out
to these public places,
1589
01:34:00,417 --> 01:34:02,767
you know, all the places that
I spent years avoiding.
1590
01:34:02,811 --> 01:34:05,727
And so, over time, it's...
It essentially has become
1591
01:34:05,770 --> 01:34:08,251
that retraining,
you know, allowing me to...
1592
01:34:08,294 --> 01:34:11,428
I guess basically
reintegrate myself
1593
01:34:11,471 --> 01:34:13,125
back into that civilian world.
1594
01:34:20,263 --> 01:34:23,266
Atlas has definitely been
a life-changer for me.
1595
01:34:23,309 --> 01:34:25,229
He's got different tasks
that he's trained to do,
1596
01:34:25,268 --> 01:34:26,854
and he's trained to wake me
from nightmares.
1597
01:34:26,878 --> 01:34:29,664
So, you know, if at 3 a.m.,
you know, I'm sweating
1598
01:34:29,707 --> 01:34:31,491
and you know, cussing in Arabic,
1599
01:34:31,535 --> 01:34:33,513
he'll jump up on the bed,
you know, and either lay on me
1600
01:34:33,537 --> 01:34:35,017
or lick my face and wake me up.
1601
01:34:35,060 --> 01:34:36,820
You know, there's different
things he can do,
1602
01:34:36,845 --> 01:34:39,804
where he'll post, you know,
turn around and face behind me
1603
01:34:39,848 --> 01:34:42,764
so I'm not hyper-vigilant,
or I don't have to be,
1604
01:34:42,807 --> 01:34:45,723
you know, as on alert as,
you know, I had been for years.
1605
01:34:45,767 --> 01:34:47,527
You know, there's all sorts of
things that they can be trained
1606
01:34:47,551 --> 01:34:49,466
to do that...
That really just help
1607
01:34:49,509 --> 01:34:51,511
increase that quality of life
on a daily basis,
1608
01:34:51,555 --> 01:34:53,470
help mitigate, you know,
some of those symptoms
1609
01:34:53,513 --> 01:34:55,733
that would keep you
from doing things.
1610
01:34:59,128 --> 01:35:02,131
I'd actually been looking for
a charity to get involved with.
1611
01:35:02,174 --> 01:35:03,872
And I came back to him
and I said, "Hey,
1612
01:35:03,915 --> 01:35:06,265
"what do you think about,
you know, starting a charity,
1613
01:35:06,309 --> 01:35:08,006
"you know, together,
the two of us,
1614
01:35:08,050 --> 01:35:09,704
and helping other vets do this?"
1615
01:35:09,747 --> 01:35:12,707
And you know, he said,
"There's nothing I'd rather do."
1616
01:35:12,750 --> 01:35:14,230
And... and that was it.
1617
01:35:14,273 --> 01:35:16,232
And his brother John
came on board,
1618
01:35:16,275 --> 01:35:19,801
and the idea was... was born.
1619
01:35:36,948 --> 01:35:39,037
You know, there's a need
in that veteran community.
1620
01:35:39,081 --> 01:35:40,473
There's a great need.
1621
01:35:40,517 --> 01:35:45,609
And when I looked for that help,
it wasn't there.
1622
01:35:45,652 --> 01:35:48,003
I sincerely believe that we're
gonna be one of the biggest
1623
01:35:48,046 --> 01:35:50,179
organizations that there
ever were for veterans.
1624
01:35:50,222 --> 01:35:51,963
I don't see why we shouldn't be.
1625
01:35:52,007 --> 01:35:53,660
We're not looking
at just sending veterans
1626
01:35:53,704 --> 01:35:56,011
away for a weekend, you know,
or, you know,
1627
01:35:56,054 --> 01:35:57,752
helping 'em catch up
on bills for a month
1628
01:35:57,795 --> 01:35:59,077
and then say, you know,
"Good luck,
1629
01:35:59,101 --> 01:36:00,755
we hope the rest
of your life's better."
1630
01:36:00,798 --> 01:36:02,428
When these veterans commit
to getting a Battle Buddy
1631
01:36:02,452 --> 01:36:04,019
through the Battle Buddy
Foundation,
1632
01:36:04,062 --> 01:36:06,171
and when they commit to becoming
a part of this program
1633
01:36:06,195 --> 01:36:08,719
and a part of this family,
it's for life.
1634
01:36:08,763 --> 01:36:11,896
When it comes to life
after combat,
1635
01:36:11,940 --> 01:36:14,812
there are no unobtainable goals.
1636
01:36:14,856 --> 01:36:16,988
It blows me away because I'll...
You know, I get vets
1637
01:36:17,032 --> 01:36:19,271
that look at me like I'm some
kind of example or something.
1638
01:36:19,295 --> 01:36:20,818
And I'm like, "Brother,
1639
01:36:20,862 --> 01:36:22,753
"man, I got the same
nightmares you do, you know.
1640
01:36:22,777 --> 01:36:25,605
"I've got the same, you know,
sins and the same struggles,
1641
01:36:25,649 --> 01:36:27,449
"you know, and the same
torment on the inside,
1642
01:36:27,477 --> 01:36:29,044
you know, that you do."
1643
01:36:29,087 --> 01:36:31,350
But instead of spending my days
hiding in the garage,
1644
01:36:31,394 --> 01:36:32,961
you know, thinking about it,
1645
01:36:33,004 --> 01:36:35,920
now, I've got no time...
I ain't got no time for that.
1646
01:37:00,945 --> 01:37:03,295
The most exciting thing
about the situation
1647
01:37:03,339 --> 01:37:06,037
we're in as veterans right now
is the potential.
1648
01:37:06,081 --> 01:37:08,692
If you can go take Ramadi at
18 years old with your friends,
1649
01:37:08,735 --> 01:37:11,608
you can do anything.
You can start a program.
1650
01:37:11,651 --> 01:37:13,281
You could have the biggest
program in the country.
1651
01:37:13,305 --> 01:37:14,480
Why not?
1652
01:37:20,486 --> 01:37:24,751
There's value in walking
that dark path and surviving.
1653
01:37:24,795 --> 01:37:26,841
You know, there's value
1654
01:37:26,884 --> 01:37:28,886
in being there
for your brothers and sisters.
1655
01:37:28,930 --> 01:37:32,324
Positive ripples just make
positive tsunamis, you know?
1656
01:37:32,368 --> 01:37:34,326
It just keeps getting
bigger and bigger.
1657
01:37:34,370 --> 01:37:36,633
I don't think it's reaching
to say that 100% of people
1658
01:37:36,676 --> 01:37:38,548
that have been in combat
have one buddy
1659
01:37:38,591 --> 01:37:40,115
that they can still
reach out to,
1660
01:37:40,158 --> 01:37:42,204
no matter how far
down the line they go.
1661
01:37:42,247 --> 01:37:43,703
Call that person,
tell that person what
you're going through.
1662
01:37:43,727 --> 01:37:45,598
They might be going
through the same thing.
1663
01:37:45,642 --> 01:37:47,905
You know, they might need you
as much as you need them.
1664
01:37:47,949 --> 01:37:49,298
We're all in this together,
1665
01:37:49,341 --> 01:37:52,214
and, um... we swore an oath.
1666
01:37:52,257 --> 01:37:54,259
And that oath just never dies.
1667
01:37:54,303 --> 01:37:56,087
If I could have a voice
to most veterans,
1668
01:37:56,131 --> 01:37:58,698
it's just, it gets better, man.
1669
01:37:58,742 --> 01:38:00,962
I think vets
really need to help vets
1670
01:38:01,005 --> 01:38:04,052
and let 'em know, dude,
it's gonna be all right.
1671
01:38:08,491 --> 01:38:11,059
Can you imagine
a company of Marines,
1672
01:38:11,102 --> 01:38:12,538
an entire company of Marines,
1673
01:38:12,582 --> 01:38:14,323
the greatest fighting force
in the world,
1674
01:38:14,366 --> 01:38:17,152
all dedicated to doing good
for the rest of their lives?
1675
01:38:17,195 --> 01:38:19,632
There's no... there's no
ceiling on that.
1676
01:38:19,676 --> 01:38:22,200
It could go to the moon,
I mean, it's crazy.
1677
01:38:22,244 --> 01:38:23,985
So, we need to spread
this positivity,
1678
01:38:24,028 --> 01:38:27,858
because it's out there,
people are doing it.
1679
01:38:27,902 --> 01:38:30,469
And I just think
that story needs to be told.
1680
01:40:02,039 --> 01:40:03,234
We're gonna wrap,
I wanna ask you
1681
01:40:03,258 --> 01:40:04,409
if there's anything
you wanna say
1682
01:40:04,433 --> 01:40:05,782
that we haven't said?
1683
01:40:05,825 --> 01:40:08,306
Any grand statement
you wanna make, anything.
1684
01:40:09,960 --> 01:40:13,485
Not really.
I mean, I said everything.
1685
01:40:13,529 --> 01:40:17,489
I don't have a grand statement.
I never did.
123555
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