All language subtitles for From.War.To.Wisdom.2017.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,212 I-I kinda want to get going. 4 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,083 You rolling? All right, man, 5 00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:52,824 this is exciting. We're starting production 6 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:55,914 on "From War to Wisdom." Day one, shoot one. 7 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,788 Josh, please state for the record your full name. 8 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,485 Joshua R. Hisle. 9 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,009 Place of birth. Cincinnati, Ohio. 10 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,011 Underwear size.Large. 11 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,059 All right, man. 12 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,017 Are we live? We are live. 13 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,454 Dude... 14 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,673 could you match my... My lackadaisical carefreeness? 15 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,414 Sir, yes, sir. What's goin' on? 16 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,502 Be the one, Dan. 17 00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,461 Pretty doggone... all righty. 18 00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,420 First question... 19 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,857 So, from what I hear, it's just like "Call of Duty." 20 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:30,035 No, um... 21 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,777 tell me a little bit about when you deployed. 22 00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,432 Tell me a little bit about where you're from, 23 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,304 where you grew up. 24 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,264 Yeah, where you from? 25 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,614 I guess I'm supposed to say something, huh? 26 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:44,702 Fuck. 27 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,443 What were you fighting for? 28 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,228 What did we fight for? 29 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,624 That's a good question. 30 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,191 I don't have that answer. 31 00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,198 And, dude, if I'm going down paths 32 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,436 that make you uncomfortable or that... 33 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,506 I won't say anything I don't want to say. 34 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,266 Though, can you not put that in either, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 35 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,485 You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure. 36 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,877 I've told this story hundreds of times, 37 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,076 but it's different every time 38 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,687 I tell it, I swear. That's good. 39 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,558 I... dude, I'm here, I'm... I'm enjoying it. 40 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,907 I'm having fun right now, man, 41 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,605 so let's... let's keep it going, man. 42 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,800 I wanted to be a Marine since I was a kid. 43 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,367 I mean, I always did. 44 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,325 I have papers and stuff from, like, fifth grade 45 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,240 where I'm writing about being a Marine. 46 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,330 Yeah, my grandfather, Walter K. Hisle, 47 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,941 was a Marine, um, in Korea. 48 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:53,162 Korean War. And, uh, I always wanted 49 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,643 to be a Marine ever since I was a child. 50 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,514 Always look at my papaw's pictures and stuff, 51 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,473 and he'd tell war stories, and... 52 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,997 something very romantic about it, I don't know. 53 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,781 You know, growing up it's... 54 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,262 You see it on TV, you play these games, 55 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,916 just want to do it, you know? 56 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,310 You don't realize what it really is. 57 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,702 I was 19. 58 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,749 Yeah, I think I was 19, 'cause I... 59 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,707 I turned 20, uh, a couple days 60 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,666 before I left for boot camp. 61 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,190 So, I know I was 19 when I swore in and stuff. 62 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,486 When 9/11 happened, 63 00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,401 I was at work when the towers got hit. 64 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,664 And I left work and like, uh, 65 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,828 went and joined the Marines like right then and there. 66 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,323 It was just an instant decision. 67 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,866 And, honestly, I didn't give it a lot of thought, 68 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,631 I just did it, you know? 69 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,241 There were... there were some other guys 70 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,958 down there, too, that were doing the same thing. 71 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,723 It was kind of a... 72 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,681 This generation of, uh, guys who were like, 73 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,117 they want to kick somebody's ass. 74 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728 I-I don't know who, but... 75 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,294 everybody wanted some payback, I guess. 76 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,871 I think people who join the Marine Corps 77 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,549 are a certain breed of people, man. 78 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,246 I would read books by, like, 79 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:04,162 the Marines on Peleliu or, you know, 80 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,468 what they did in Okinawa. 81 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,122 The whole Pacific campaign, really. 82 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,385 These guys were some fuckin' hard men, 83 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,691 and inspired me. I was like... 84 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,388 I wondered if I could be that hard. 85 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,410 I always wanted to be something bigger than myself. 86 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,479 I always wanted to... 87 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,481 be the best, and be in the best. 88 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,004 I wanted to be in the Marines. 89 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,137 It's the best branch. I wanted to be a grunt. 90 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,836 Physical fitness of 91 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,708 the United States Marines is traditional. 92 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,884 Yet, even the high bodily standards 93 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,582 of our leathernecks is being stepped up these days 94 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,019 to meet new demands of modern warfare. 95 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,390 The only thing I really knew about the Marines 96 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,826 is they were supposed to be the toughest, 97 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,524 they were supposed to be the hardest, you know. 98 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,942 They had commercials of them slaying dragons. 99 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:47,075 I want to be the best. 100 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,512 So, part of me went like, "I'll be a Navy SEAL." 101 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:50,600 Then I realized that... 102 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,342 I'm not too good of a swimmer. 103 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,518 So, you know, I joined the Marine Corps. 104 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,781 You know, the volunteer infantry. 105 00:07:57,825 --> 00:08:00,001 My recruiter was like, "What do you want to do, 106 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,481 you know, as an enlisted person?" 107 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,047 I was like, "Well, obviously, infantry. 108 00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,136 I want to, you know, blow stuff up and kill people." 109 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,529 Why would I join the Marine Corps 110 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,574 to do other stuff? 111 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:16,994 Oh, the Marine Corps is legendary 112 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,541 for being badass, man. 113 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,544 I mean, every major battle in the history of... 114 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,981 of all of our wars, uh, they've taken... 115 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,548 they've taken people down, man. 116 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,466 We learned by fire real fast, 117 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,946 even while we were in training. 118 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,643 You know, you're taking 18-year-olds, 119 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,123 and then by the time they're 19, 120 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,561 they're all marathoners and capable of hiking 121 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,445 large amounts of goods through mountain passes, 122 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,739 you know, and employ weapon systems. 123 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:43,890 You know, there's a big change 124 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,481 in such a small amount of time. 125 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,830 It was just always something 126 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,440 that I knew I was gonna end up doing 127 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,746 at one point in my life. 128 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,532 Now we're going to war... 129 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,404 hopefully it holds out till I can get there, right? 130 00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:56,971 That was my train of thought, dude. 131 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,539 Hopefully, it... it can hold out till I get there. 132 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,825 The gears of war began turning. 133 00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,610 And, so, everything changed. 134 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:31,614 There was something palpable in the air. 135 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,400 Everybody knew that something was coming. 136 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,490 We're going to war. 137 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,840 We didn't know what kind of war. 138 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,016 We didn't know how long it was gonna last, 139 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,671 we didn't know if we were even gonna fight it. 140 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:47,412 You know, we might just have been flown into Kuwait, 141 00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:51,286 you know, rattled our saber, and then got to go home. 142 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:54,637 Nobody knew, but... we were going. 143 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:57,379 And we were going now. 144 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,859 Rock and roll. 145 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,164 Hey, quit your lollygagging, 146 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,644 get your stuff, and let's go! 147 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,428 It's 2:00, still on the plane. 148 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,171 Welcome to Kuwait. 149 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,829 This is as real as it's gonna get. 150 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,962 In fact, it's worse, 'cause we can't see the enemy. 151 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:15,963 Good to go? 152 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,617 Yeah. Yep. 153 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,619 Nobody gets off the bus. 154 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,668 We left in late January 155 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,670 and, uh, arrived in Kuwait in buses. 156 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:28,908 They bussed us out in the middle of the night, 157 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,412 like three, four, five hours 158 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,563 out in the middle of the night, 159 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,502 uh, into the Kuwaiti desert. 160 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:36,636 We finally roll up, uh, off of sandy roads 161 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,987 to this one generator just in the middle of nowhere. 162 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,597 I mean, there was nothing. 163 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,084 And, uh, they... We get out, and they... 164 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:53,000 They tell us to unpack, and we're just... 165 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,263 you know, biv... Bivouacking here tonight. 166 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,134 And, uh, we all just kind of... 167 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,614 We put up, set up a fire watch, 168 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,921 and we wake up under like six inches of sand. 169 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,376 A sandstorm comes in the middle of the night 170 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,117 and buries everybody while they're sleeping. 171 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,753 Welcome to the fucking suck, you know what I mean? 172 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,252 And all of a sudden we can see around us, 173 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,060 you know, it's morning time and, uh, 174 00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,802 there's just nothing but... sand. 175 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,152 Slowly rolling sand for as... Well, as far as you can see. 176 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,676 We didn't know where we were at. 177 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,503 They were like, "We're somewhere in Kuwait." 178 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,829 Does anybody really know where we are? 179 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,681 You guys know where we are? 180 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,552 Which way is Iraq? 181 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:25,119 That way. 182 00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,427 And it wasn't till later 183 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,429 that after we dug in the fighting holes 184 00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:33,083 like World War II all over again, 185 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,042 but thank God it was sand to dig in. 186 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:37,281 We realized that we were like two klicks from the border. 187 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,698 That we were staring 188 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,482 at the Iraqi border just waiting to go. 189 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,397 And that's where we spent the first month. 190 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,548 And it... it still hadn't sank in. 191 00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,747 Nothing had happened yet. 192 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,009 You weren't really on edge. 193 00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,619 The... it waited us to death. 194 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,463 You know, that'll make somebody go stir crazy. 195 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:50,860 It's like, we're over here for a war 196 00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:51,948 and then they just parked us over there. 197 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,277 "Hurry up! Get over there!" 198 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,192 And then they're like, "All right... 199 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,779 now we're just gonna sit here." And we... 200 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,152 We had no idea what we're gonna do 201 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,782 and when we're gonna be doin' it, by the way. 202 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,721 So... and that was just... 203 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,505 that would drive a man insane. 204 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:07,857 Whoa, Blakley, that looks like 205 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,598 a little bit of heaven there, huh? 206 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,774 Don't even know, Mike, don't even know. 207 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,036 Where'd you get that from? 208 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,603 First Sergeant hooked me up. 209 00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,474 First Sergeant did that? He did. 210 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,394 Woe be to the devil dog who drops the pot. 211 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:24,656 Huh? 212 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,310 Seems to be the most critical piece 213 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,418 of tactical equipment you have here, First Sergeant. 214 00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,139 Yeah, exactly! 215 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,706 Think about it, you know, you train 216 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,901 to go do something, you want to do it, right? 217 00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:33,404 So, we're excited. 218 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,319 And we sat in Kuwait for a couple of months. 219 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,018 Uh, I think it was a solid two months. 220 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,759 Um, and it got to the point where 221 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:42,805 there was a whole lot of poker, and checkers, 222 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,547 and, uh, really nothing, uh... 223 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:46,940 you know, gas drills, but noth... 224 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,376 It turned into this, like, 225 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,596 you know, very, uh, complacent... thing 226 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,791 where we were just kind of camping out 227 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,599 in the middle of the desert. 228 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,514 Mr. Adouri said Iraq was committed 229 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,038 to abandoning banned weapons 230 00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,866 and accused the United States 231 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:02,172 of possessing ulterior motives. 232 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,826 I-I think we shouldn't be out here 233 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,393 unless we're gonna go across the L.D. 234 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,308 because, I mean, we're shock troops, 235 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,136 we're not built to be able to stand here 236 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,398 and just sit here 'cause 237 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,356 that's just not what Marines do. 238 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:16,404 No, gas masks suck, but... 239 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,101 All clear on deck! 240 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,582 All clear! 241 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,296 What we try to tell the Marines, 242 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,665 what I try to tell the staff and shields 243 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,691 and the Marines directly is, 244 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,475 it doesn't matter what our politics, 245 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,651 what's happening politically or anything. 246 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,020 Only that matters is what's happening 247 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,698 to our company today. 248 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,439 So, shake it off 249 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,720 and let's get our heads in the game. 250 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,050 That way, we can all come home. 251 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,228 We're just another chapter in the long legacy of, 252 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:01,057 you know, great Marines doing what they had to do. 253 00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,973 And it's our duty to... Not to drop the flag, 254 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,670 so to speak. And they understand that. 255 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,020 That's part of being a Marine. 256 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,743 It's... it's taught since recruit training. 257 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,158 Every unit you go to has a history, 258 00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:16,812 and they'll always tell ya, 259 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,293 we have to, you know, keep our legacy strong, 260 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,121 keep our honor clean, so we can pass it on 261 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,600 to the Marines that come behind us. 262 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:29,999 The Marine Corps is built 263 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,349 to fight from the fireteam level up. 264 00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:33,916 My position as First Sergeant 265 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,005 in this company, I work on leadership 266 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:39,052 because, um, if we can build 'em into strong leaders, 267 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,532 then all those bad decisions, or less favorable decisions, 268 00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:42,969 will start to just drop off. 269 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,424 They won't exist because they'll take the time 270 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,146 to think about their Marines first, 271 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,712 and then they'll make better decisions. 272 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,540 So, I want to develop 273 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,412 their maturity as Marine leaders. 274 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,987 Fox 2-5. 275 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,061 We were attached to Second Tanks, 276 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,913 and, uh, they could bring 277 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,915 cool stuff over in their tanks. 278 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,960 And somebody had a guitar. 279 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,475 There's this motto in the Marine Corps, 280 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,042 "When we're not killin', we're chillin'." 281 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,938 So, we sat out and would, like, write songs 282 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,897 about how hot it was and how shitty it was. 283 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,900 And we had this little talent show in the desert. 284 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,685 And, uh, First Sergeant comes up and tells me, 285 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,905 you know, "You're gonna do something tonight 286 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,994 to represent Fox." 287 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,866 So I did, and I won the freaking thing. 288 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,912 Thanks a lot, Fox! Thanks, everybody else! 289 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,358 And then one night, man, about 2:00 in the morning, 290 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,405 they just were like freakin', "Let's go, boys!" 291 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,416 You waited your whole Marine Corps career. 292 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:23,721 Some of you, only been a year. 293 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,090 Some of you, it's only been two years. 294 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,029 Some of you devil dogs, it's been longer 295 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,988 for this moment right here. 296 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,120 Don't screw it up, you understand what I'm saying? 297 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,775 You trained so hard to get to this point, 298 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,231 now it's time to go do what we need... 299 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,866 What we trained to do. Check? 300 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:41,348 Let's go get some. 301 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,490 Let's go! 302 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,582 All of a sudden, we're invading Iraq. 303 00:16:58,626 --> 00:16:59,820 And we're going through 'em, you're like, 304 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,063 "Oh, here we are. We're here." 305 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,630 And, of course, we're expecting... 306 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,371 D-Day, you know what I mean? 307 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:05,720 Just, bullets. 308 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,461 And as we went up the country 309 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,680 there through the south, it was just white flags. 310 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,726 That was it. I mean... 311 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,945 there were whole units surrendering. 312 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,916 Wasn't until around the Fertile Crescent 313 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,570 when we got out of the desert 314 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,528 and into some foliage, we got attacked, 315 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,443 you know, by Republican Guard. 316 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,706 Saddam's good, you know, elite. 317 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,056 They weren't very elite. 318 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,796 I mean, we trashed 'em pretty quick. 319 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,494 Pop, pop! 320 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,106 Boom! 321 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,420 You know, we'd get hit by somebody, 322 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,552 we'd buckle down and... And, you know, 323 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:57,380 our Cobra helicopters would just fuckin' 324 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,687 cut 'em to pieces and we'd move on. 325 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:03,125 Um, but, you know, April 4th, the... 326 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,736 that was... that was the day it all got real. 327 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,584 Mornin', Frank, how you doing? 328 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,499 Pretty good, pretty good. 329 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,501 Getting cleaned up for the big town? 330 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:34,504 I can't wait. 331 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,377 The big day is coming. Here it comes. 332 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,944 I want... I want to get this stuff over with. 333 00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:43,339 This is our last step, Baghdad, so... 334 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,559 there ain't much to go from there. 335 00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:46,908 This is a long trip, 336 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,311 but I'll tell you what, it's, uh... 337 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,869 It'll be worth it when we get up there. 338 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,178 Think it's gonna be easy or tough today? 339 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,093 Can't say. 340 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,442 Wish I knew.Yeah. 341 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,052 Even the Magic 8-Ball doesn't know. 342 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,421 Even the Magic 8-Ball doesn't know, that's true. 343 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,360 Yesterday was a little wild, wasn't it? 344 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,188 I had a little bit of fun yesterday. 345 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,798 Yeah. But at the end of the day, 346 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,646 it's always good to know that you're the good guy. 347 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,541 Yeah.So... 348 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,736 as long as I can go home with that, 349 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,805 I'll be a happy man. 350 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,764 Let's go, get it loaded! 351 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,046 Get out! Hey! 352 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,830 Get the fuck outta the way! 353 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:41,092 The fuck outta the way! 354 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,398 Get the fuck... 355 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:43,530 Boom! Get out! 356 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,594 Get the fuck outta the way! 357 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:45,923 Go, go, go, go, go! 358 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,108 Recon by fire. Recon by fire, gentlemen. 359 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:04,986 Within minutes of leaving our lines, 360 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,596 we were hit again. 361 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,729 For the third straight day, we're taking contact 362 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,731 from main Iraqi brigade... 363 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:13,212 stationed on the main road leading into Baghdad. 364 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,823 We only have 32 miles to go to get to Baghdad, 365 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,565 and it looks like we're gonna be fighting all the way up. 366 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,527 We were driving down the road 367 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:25,809 and we got hit by this, like, couple... 368 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,878 Piss-shootin' couple of guys. 369 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,508 And we all got out, and we're tryin' to find 'em. 370 00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,447 It was three dudes and, uh, 371 00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,884 I was a designated marksman at the time. 372 00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:36,974 So, I lay down and I find this guy running, 373 00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281 and I pop a shot off and I hit him. 374 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,804 And he fell down. 375 00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,434 And he, you know, crawls in the doorway, whatever. 376 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,567 I thought I missed him. I really thought I missed him. 377 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,157 I thought he just, you know, dropped. 378 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,613 And I find out, you know, a couple hours later 379 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:48,832 the snipers went out and said, 380 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,423 "You got that son of a bitch." 381 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,555 And I remember I was like... 382 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:55,471 stoked, but at the same time, it was like, 383 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,232 "Damn, man, I fuckin' just killed somebody," 384 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,624 you know what I mean? I just killed this guy. 385 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,171 And I-I don't know him, I don't know 386 00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,565 what he looked like, how old he was, you know. 387 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,827 Maybe he had liver cancer 388 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,022 and I put him out of his misery, 389 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,308 but doubtful, you know? 390 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,049 I killed a fuckin' kid, you know? 391 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,485 Just like me. 392 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:12,488 So, whatever, we move on, and, uh... 393 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,316 there's not really time to process that shit. 394 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,360 You go, "All right, cool." 395 00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,277 Good job, good job. 396 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,104 If you need... You need firing support, 397 00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,803 you need firing support, window, aperture, opening... 398 00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:24,718 One, recon by fire. 399 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,739 We move on, we got ambushed hard. 400 00:21:45,782 --> 00:21:48,089 And, uh, First Sergeant Smith got killed. 401 00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:49,525 And that was all of our hero. 402 00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,919 I mean, this guy was... He made us what we were. 403 00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:53,921 He got us ready for this fight. 404 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,401 And to see him get killed, uh, 405 00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:59,187 this invincible force, was fucked up. 406 00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:03,931 I don't know what's going on. 407 00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:06,281 You know, I'm just getting through the day. 408 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,544 You know, fuckin'... shooting at, you know, 409 00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:11,242 anything that pretty much moved, half the time. 410 00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:15,508 When... when he got hit, 411 00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:18,641 I mean, it... rocked my world? 412 00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:20,121 For... like, it hurt, you know. 413 00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:22,036 You hear the radio call, you know, "Fox 8 hit." 414 00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:23,603 Fox 8 is hit. 415 00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,407 And like all I could say was just, you know, "Fuck!" 416 00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:26,799 And I'm sittin' in the Humvee, and I... 417 00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:29,304 I look in the side mirror... 418 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:35,005 and I see them carrying his body on the stretcher. 419 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,790 And they're taking him to the helo. 420 00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,837 The helicopter's blowing everybody. 421 00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:42,361 All the wind and dust around, 422 00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,667 and it was kind of a sandstormy kinda day. 423 00:22:44,711 --> 00:22:46,408 And there was still smoke 424 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:48,802 and stuff from invasion, fires and, you know, 425 00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:50,107 things burning around us. 426 00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:52,893 BMPs, the smell of flesh in the air. 427 00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:54,590 That was tough to see. 428 00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:56,462 Okay, I didn't know who it was at first. 429 00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,727 And then, especially when I looked back. 430 00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:05,688 For... for a man that was a mentor to me. 431 00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:10,084 And just, I mean, an amazing Marine. 432 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:12,521 And the last time I ever got to see him 433 00:23:12,565 --> 00:23:17,396 was in the side mirror of a Hummer, on a stretcher. 434 00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:24,794 There is no grieving time, you know. 435 00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:27,928 We had to keep going. We had a job to do. 436 00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:30,452 And ultimately, at the end of the day, 437 00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,976 I think our First Sergeant would have been proud of us. 438 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,720 'Cause we had to push on after that. 439 00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:39,896 The war... became real. 440 00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:12,862 That was it, man. Everyone was like, sh... 441 00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,235 And, all... you saw it. 442 00:24:14,278 --> 00:24:17,412 No one was smiling. Nobody was dicking around. 443 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,066 And everybody got very, very serious, 444 00:24:19,109 --> 00:24:21,503 and very, very old very quickly. 445 00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:22,939 For me, it ended up being... 446 00:24:22,983 --> 00:24:24,700 Becoming over the course of the weeks and months, 447 00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:27,509 it became like a symbolic thing for me. 448 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,119 Our... our figurehead, you know, 449 00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:31,339 the top of the pyramid was knocked off. 450 00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,776 But, you know, everybody just... 451 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:35,256 Like nothing happened, 452 00:24:35,299 --> 00:24:36,755 just filled right in and just took over 453 00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,714 and it just kept running like the machine that it is. 454 00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:39,976 I mean, it's... the closest thing 455 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,350 I can akin it to is, uh, like the phalanx 456 00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:44,265 in ancient Sparta, when they... 457 00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:46,702 They moved as one unit, and no matter what happened, 458 00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,617 everybody knew everybody's job, 459 00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,140 up and down the chain of command. 460 00:24:51,577 --> 00:24:52,945 Let's go, God damn it! I can see 'em! 461 00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:54,884 Ed, the treads, look at me. 462 00:24:54,928 --> 00:24:56,427 You know, if it ended up being a private 463 00:24:56,451 --> 00:24:58,322 in charge of the... The entire group, 464 00:24:58,366 --> 00:25:00,107 he knew the job. And that... 465 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:02,196 That's what made it so special for, uh, 466 00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,154 for me, personally, and for the Marine Corps 467 00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:05,547 as a brotherhood in general. 468 00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:07,593 And the armed forces in general. 469 00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,818 I just will never forget that day. 470 00:25:15,862 --> 00:25:17,385 I mean, because the events that evening 471 00:25:17,428 --> 00:25:18,788 piled on and piled on and piled on. 472 00:25:18,821 --> 00:25:21,520 And it seems like once that domino fell... 473 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,565 it didn't stop, and we just got shit on 474 00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:27,003 for the next, you know, two months until... 475 00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:30,006 until, you know, they surrendered completely. 476 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,618 But, uh, it's... It's funny because, 477 00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:35,577 in relation to... the romance of being 478 00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,840 a kid and wanting to go to war. 479 00:25:37,884 --> 00:25:39,929 And, you know, you... you thi... 480 00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,496 I mean, you really want to go. 481 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,865 You think you know what you're talkin' about. 482 00:25:42,889 --> 00:25:44,344 But until it happens, man, you don't... 483 00:25:44,368 --> 00:25:46,457 You don't know. And when it does happen, 484 00:25:46,501 --> 00:25:48,198 it's like... pshew. 485 00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:50,418 "Jesus fuckin' Christ, man. I shouldn't have done this. 486 00:25:50,461 --> 00:25:52,768 This isn't for me." You know? 487 00:25:52,812 --> 00:25:54,553 But that's, you know... But it's not... 488 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,139 That's not the scariest part. The scariest part is when 489 00:25:56,163 --> 00:25:58,774 that feeling goes away and you start to like it. 490 00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:33,287 The next thing we know, we're in Baghdad. 491 00:26:33,330 --> 00:26:35,942 And that's like... 492 00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:38,597 Never thought in my life I'd be sittin' in Baghdad. 493 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,643 And, you know, we... Obviously, we met resistance. 494 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:44,341 But, I mean, nothing stopped us. 495 00:26:58,225 --> 00:26:59,487 We were there for 'em. 496 00:26:59,530 --> 00:27:01,445 They waved at us. They chased us. 497 00:27:01,489 --> 00:27:03,709 They were... they loved us. 498 00:27:03,752 --> 00:27:05,624 I mean, we literally 499 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,408 set 'em free, you know? 500 00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:16,547 We went in with the mentality of... hearts and minds. 501 00:27:16,591 --> 00:27:19,376 Uh, no better friend, no worse enemy. 502 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:22,684 And we... we truly embodied that, I feel like. 503 00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:24,947 You know, we said, we are here, you know, 504 00:27:24,991 --> 00:27:27,036 we're not here to impress you, like... 505 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,448 we're just gonna keep ourselves safe 506 00:27:28,472 --> 00:27:29,691 and other than that, like, 507 00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:31,258 if you want to, you know, work with us, 508 00:27:31,301 --> 00:27:33,129 we will help schools, 509 00:27:33,173 --> 00:27:34,541 we'll help your children, we'll help you get food, 510 00:27:34,565 --> 00:27:35,915 we'll help you get water. 511 00:27:35,958 --> 00:27:37,501 You know, we will do anything and everything 512 00:27:37,525 --> 00:27:39,222 we can to help you. 513 00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:41,181 But, if you... if you come against us, 514 00:27:41,224 --> 00:27:43,618 if you cross us... 515 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,707 the iron fist comes down. 516 00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:47,317 And there is no half measure. 517 00:27:47,361 --> 00:27:48,754 We will obliterate you. 518 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:09,209 Marines don't fight for an administration, 519 00:28:09,252 --> 00:28:10,601 or a country, or a flag. 520 00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,386 Marines fight for Marines. 521 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:14,214 And that's why we're so successful. 522 00:28:19,959 --> 00:28:21,612 We believed in each other. 523 00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:23,092 Everybody had each other's back. 524 00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:25,486 It was a new experience for everybody involved, 525 00:28:25,529 --> 00:28:27,836 but we knew that if we were there together, 526 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,359 we would conquer it, 527 00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,187 because nothing could conquer us. 528 00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:19,845 So you get out. 529 00:29:19,888 --> 00:29:21,760 And you go back home. 530 00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:25,894 And that support structure is gone. 531 00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:29,202 The support structure of your friends, your brothers. 532 00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,769 All of a sudden, it's just gone. 533 00:29:37,036 --> 00:29:38,341 And because we were... 534 00:29:38,385 --> 00:29:40,213 I think we were the first ones over there... 535 00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:43,129 We didn't realize that things would... 536 00:29:43,172 --> 00:29:44,826 that things would be different. 537 00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:48,003 It's like, you walk into civilian society, 538 00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:49,962 and you just don't get it anymore. 539 00:29:50,005 --> 00:29:53,487 It just... like, just does not compute. 540 00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:55,358 What are these people... 541 00:29:55,402 --> 00:29:58,274 like, would they give a shit about something? 542 00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,059 And it's like, just a little while ago, 543 00:30:00,102 --> 00:30:02,104 like, if I was alive at the end of the day, 544 00:30:02,148 --> 00:30:04,411 I wasn't bleedin', and if none of my bud... 545 00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:06,065 That happened to none of my buddies, 546 00:30:06,108 --> 00:30:07,457 that was a good day. 547 00:30:07,501 --> 00:30:11,679 And if there was food? Psh. Plus one, you know. 548 00:30:11,722 --> 00:30:14,638 If there was an oper... A working fan... 549 00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,640 uh, I mean, you're... you're set. 550 00:30:16,684 --> 00:30:19,121 You're living the life of luxury. 551 00:30:19,165 --> 00:30:22,733 Your general American... the general civilian, 552 00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:24,300 never had to make a sacrifice 553 00:30:24,344 --> 00:30:26,346 for what went on over there. 554 00:30:32,961 --> 00:30:35,746 I'll never fault a man and I'll never weep for a man 555 00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:38,706 who died doing what he chose to do. 556 00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:39,901 If you're doing what you love 557 00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:41,056 and you died doing it, 558 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:43,189 then God bless you and a-fuckin'-men, 559 00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,407 you know what I mean? It's... 560 00:30:44,451 --> 00:30:46,409 Isn't that the way you want to go out? 561 00:30:46,453 --> 00:30:48,542 My biggest issue that I found 562 00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:51,240 was handling Marines that survived. 563 00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:56,831 When I first got back from Iraq, you know, 564 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,944 I expected to be different, you know. 565 00:30:58,987 --> 00:31:01,120 I-I expected if you go, uh, 566 00:31:01,163 --> 00:31:03,862 into a combat zone, into such a high-stress, 567 00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:05,733 high, you know, adrenaline 568 00:31:05,776 --> 00:31:07,430 every day type environment, 569 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:10,216 um, that when I came home, it was gonna take awhile 570 00:31:10,259 --> 00:31:13,436 to kind of readjust back to relative safety. 571 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,786 And, uh... you know, I thought maybe, 572 00:31:15,830 --> 00:31:17,460 hey, six months, a year after getting home, 573 00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:19,703 maybe then I'll start to be more like the old me. 574 00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:21,792 And, uh, you know, it took a few years 575 00:31:21,836 --> 00:31:23,116 to really realize that that's... 576 00:31:23,142 --> 00:31:24,491 not gonna happen. 577 00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:26,362 It was like, "What did I do over there? 578 00:31:26,406 --> 00:31:29,409 Why did I do this?" you know. 579 00:31:29,452 --> 00:31:31,367 And you try to regurgitate this information 580 00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:33,195 to your loved ones, and that's where 581 00:31:33,239 --> 00:31:35,415 it all kind of went downhill. 582 00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:38,244 Um, your family and your friends, 583 00:31:38,287 --> 00:31:40,463 as much as they love you, 584 00:31:40,507 --> 00:31:42,465 they just don't understand, you know? 585 00:31:46,382 --> 00:31:47,993 If I had a chance, would I do it again? 586 00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:50,256 I would do it all over again... 587 00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:53,041 to be able to be there for... my brothers. 588 00:31:54,521 --> 00:31:56,001 Would I be there for... 589 00:31:56,044 --> 00:31:58,481 political reasons and bullshit, 590 00:31:58,525 --> 00:32:00,222 and the lies that we were told? 591 00:32:00,266 --> 00:32:02,137 No, I wouldn't be there. 592 00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:04,879 But would I be there for Josh... 593 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,968 for Langley, for First Sergeant? 594 00:32:07,012 --> 00:32:10,276 Yes. Heartbeat. 595 00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:24,333 After the first tour, I got home 596 00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:25,900 and got married right away. 597 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,206 Um, we'd been planning it 598 00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:29,077 through letters throughout the war. 599 00:32:29,121 --> 00:32:30,861 Um, I mean, I threw on my dress blues, 600 00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:33,038 got married a couple of days after I got home. 601 00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:35,257 And then when we found out we had to do a second tour 602 00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:37,912 in Ramadi, um, to... 603 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,740 kick these guys back outta there, 604 00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:41,022 you know, we'd lost control of it 605 00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:42,786 and gotten all fucked up again. 606 00:32:42,830 --> 00:32:45,398 Um, I had a son at this point. 607 00:32:45,441 --> 00:32:46,703 When we got the call to leave, 608 00:32:46,747 --> 00:32:48,009 it was down to... 609 00:32:48,053 --> 00:32:49,489 Down to the wire on the birth date. 610 00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:52,231 Like, I-I was deployed two weeks after he... 611 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,884 My son, Holland, was born. 612 00:32:57,671 --> 00:32:59,673 Throughout the pregnancy, prior to his birth, 613 00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:01,849 I was training new Marines, 614 00:33:01,892 --> 00:33:04,373 kids who... just gotten out of... 615 00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:06,114 infantry school, you know, just like I was 616 00:33:06,158 --> 00:33:08,551 a year and a half before that. 617 00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:09,876 And, uh, that was... That was hard, 618 00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:11,554 because I'm looking at these guys 619 00:33:11,598 --> 00:33:14,644 and I know that I was the same idiot that they were. 620 00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:17,343 Um, didn't know anything, you know, 621 00:33:17,386 --> 00:33:19,040 about war or about anything. 622 00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:20,278 And I'm thinking to myself like, 623 00:33:20,302 --> 00:33:21,825 "I'm training these guys, 624 00:33:21,869 --> 00:33:23,629 you know, half of 'em are gonna fuckin' die." 625 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,923 You know, and I'm watching the news, and you... 626 00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:34,969 You saw what was going on in Fallujah and Ramadi. 627 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,276 It's like, you know what you're dropping into. 628 00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:38,886 And you try to tell 'em that, 629 00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:40,516 and you try to train 'em for that, but... 630 00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:41,976 it's a tiny city. 631 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:43,673 So, you're not gonna, like, avoid shit. 632 00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:45,980 Like, you're going to Ramadi, you're going to Ramadi. 633 00:33:58,688 --> 00:34:00,908 The company I went to was, uh... 634 00:34:00,951 --> 00:34:03,084 called "The Blackhearts"... That was our nickname. 635 00:34:03,128 --> 00:34:04,912 In boot camp, you learn general 636 00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:06,435 Marine Corps knowledge, right? 637 00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:09,090 And you hear, okay, 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines 638 00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:12,137 is the most decorated unit in the Marine Corps. 639 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,878 All right? So, I find out 640 00:34:14,922 --> 00:34:16,184 that I'm going to the 2/5, 641 00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:18,969 and I'm stoked, dude, you know? 642 00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:20,928 There was a legacy. These dudes, uh, 643 00:34:20,971 --> 00:34:23,104 had just got back from the invasion, 644 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,845 so these guys had all been in the fight. 645 00:34:24,888 --> 00:34:27,108 And we're just these young infantry Marines 646 00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,850 who are like, "This is what we signed up to do." 647 00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:32,722 So, these guys were like our heroes, right? 648 00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:36,204 And, uh, being Blackhearts, they... 649 00:34:36,248 --> 00:34:40,426 they instilled... an ethos, almost, into us. 650 00:34:40,469 --> 00:34:42,384 And they made us earn that title. 651 00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:47,650 And I think that's why we functioned 652 00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:49,957 so well when we finally got into Ramadi, 653 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,526 because we had this identity as Blackhearts. 654 00:34:53,569 --> 00:34:56,833 And that's who we had to live up to. 655 00:36:12,779 --> 00:36:14,389 Let's go. Let's go. 656 00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:17,305 Where is go? Where is go, please? 657 00:36:17,349 --> 00:36:19,133 Please, I have... please! 658 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,265 Why? 659 00:36:20,308 --> 00:36:22,092 Why husband, why? 660 00:36:26,488 --> 00:36:28,142 When we left the first tour in Iraq, 661 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,405 we were... we were... It was parades. 662 00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:32,799 It was people thanking us. 663 00:36:32,842 --> 00:36:34,342 And we were all throwing up peace signs 664 00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:36,194 and, you know, this thing was over. 665 00:36:36,237 --> 00:36:37,804 And the people were kissing us and shit, 666 00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:39,240 like, you know, liberators. 667 00:36:39,284 --> 00:36:40,807 When we got there to Ramadi, 668 00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,244 the combat outpost and the guys we relieved, 669 00:36:43,288 --> 00:36:44,439 they'd been getting their asses kicked 670 00:36:44,463 --> 00:36:46,465 for about, you know, six months. 671 00:36:46,508 --> 00:36:47,746 They didn't even have advice for us. 672 00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,468 They just were like, "Get me outta here." 673 00:36:49,511 --> 00:36:51,905 So, we went on a couple patrols and, uh... 674 00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:53,472 and I don't know if they hated us 675 00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:56,301 or if they were just scared shitless, but, uh... 676 00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,433 it wasn't like when I left Iraq the first time. 677 00:36:58,477 --> 00:37:00,281 When I left the first time, it was like, you know, 678 00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:01,741 you were getting hugs and kisses. 679 00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,264 Uh, this time it was very... 680 00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:04,676 We'd walk down the road, everybody went in the house, 681 00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:06,441 you know, locked down. 682 00:37:06,485 --> 00:37:08,027 And we'd get hit. You know, we'd get ambushed. 683 00:37:08,051 --> 00:37:09,183 And that's just how it was. 684 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,271 When we were over there, 685 00:37:10,315 --> 00:37:12,360 it's like, just because this... 686 00:37:12,404 --> 00:37:15,537 city is quiet right now doesn't mean anything. 687 00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:18,018 This city will pop off in a heartbeat, man. 688 00:37:21,064 --> 00:37:22,346 In a fuckin' heartbeat. It just... 689 00:37:22,370 --> 00:37:24,154 turns like that. 690 00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:26,078 And if feels like the whole city's on top of you. 691 00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:29,682 Whoa! How 'bout that shit? 692 00:37:34,513 --> 00:37:35,470 Whoa! 693 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:36,602 Holy shit! 694 00:37:36,645 --> 00:37:37,907 Duck down, man. 695 00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:40,170 Holy shit! 696 00:37:40,214 --> 00:37:42,608 That is the motherfuckin' window that saved my life. 697 00:37:45,088 --> 00:37:47,047 Fuck, man, we were... we... 698 00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,590 I don't... I don't even know how to explain it, 699 00:37:48,614 --> 00:37:50,877 'cause I don't want to use too strong of words, 700 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,618 but we were... we were... 701 00:37:52,661 --> 00:37:55,447 we just fucked people up. 702 00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:56,883 I mean, it just was crazy. 703 00:37:56,926 --> 00:37:58,363 We had license to pretty much... 704 00:37:58,406 --> 00:38:00,321 to do whatever you want. 705 00:38:14,074 --> 00:38:15,815 Take cover! 706 00:38:38,228 --> 00:38:41,536 It's on, motherfucker! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 707 00:39:16,832 --> 00:39:19,574 Marines are killers, man. That's what we are. 708 00:39:19,618 --> 00:39:22,142 We create hellfire, that's what we do. 709 00:39:23,926 --> 00:39:26,407 That's probably the biggest mistake we made is, uh... 710 00:39:26,451 --> 00:39:27,756 sending, you know, 711 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,759 100,000 Marines to... to police Iraq. 712 00:39:30,803 --> 00:39:32,848 You don't send killers to keep the peace, man. 713 00:39:32,892 --> 00:39:34,720 You don't. 714 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:53,565 I'll never forget gettin' hit, 715 00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:56,394 and they told us... 716 00:39:56,437 --> 00:39:59,397 "We've got two different rooms, all right? 717 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,443 "One room is for people that are gonna live. 718 00:40:02,487 --> 00:40:04,880 "When they're injured, you bring 'em to that room. 719 00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:08,710 "And the gym... the gym is expectant. 720 00:40:08,754 --> 00:40:11,278 Gym means you ain't gonna make it." 721 00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:15,021 And the first night that we brought guys back 722 00:40:15,064 --> 00:40:16,979 into the expectant room... 723 00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:19,504 the screams from that room... 724 00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:23,464 that's when reality sets in. 725 00:40:25,553 --> 00:40:28,382 You know, that guy's not gonna pull through. 726 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:30,142 That was the same guy that the night before, 727 00:40:30,166 --> 00:40:32,865 I was up on a turret with, you know what I mean? 728 00:40:32,908 --> 00:40:35,389 And, I mean, where is he gonna be tomorrow? 729 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:38,914 You know. And... 730 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:41,134 that's really the "firt" death... 731 00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:44,137 The first death is when it really sinks in. 732 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,465 My thoughts out here really are just, 733 00:41:07,508 --> 00:41:09,118 "This is my job. This is what I do." 734 00:41:09,162 --> 00:41:10,380 If I died, uh... 735 00:41:10,424 --> 00:41:11,532 it's simple as that, you know. 736 00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:13,558 I basically told everyone back home, 737 00:41:13,601 --> 00:41:16,038 "Until I come back home, just consider me dead." 738 00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:17,387 You know, this way... 739 00:41:17,431 --> 00:41:18,626 You know, and that's how I operate out here. 740 00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:20,652 I keep going. Take a route and... 741 00:41:20,695 --> 00:41:22,001 Yeah, I went to the ground. 742 00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:23,718 Pulled me back, looked at myself real quick, 743 00:41:23,742 --> 00:41:25,744 make sure I wasn't bleeding, kept going. 744 00:41:25,787 --> 00:41:27,504 And that's what you gotta do, you gotta keep pressing, 745 00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,114 not only for yourself, but for the platoon, 746 00:41:29,138 --> 00:41:32,533 for the company, to finish the mission. 747 00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:33,839 So, out here... 748 00:41:33,882 --> 00:41:35,580 you hear the things whizzing by you, 749 00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:37,277 things are blowing up around you, 750 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,583 but it's instilled in you 751 00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:41,890 to continue on, to not falter. 752 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:43,762 It's... It's just second nature for us. 753 00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:47,026 That pile of dirt... 754 00:41:47,069 --> 00:41:50,551 can almost guarantee you that was an IED. 755 00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:53,206 We've been driving down these little back roads... 756 00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:55,600 you've got all these different alleys. 757 00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:58,864 Any time, an RPG gunner could pop out and just... 758 00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:00,430 just hit us with one. 759 00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:05,261 This is the ghetto OP here. 760 00:42:10,963 --> 00:42:13,705 Let's go. 761 00:42:35,988 --> 00:42:37,598 Hey, I've been trying to get a Frisbee 762 00:42:37,642 --> 00:42:39,557 for fuckin'... since we been here. 763 00:42:49,044 --> 00:42:50,631 Well, I'll tell you what, when we left the first time, 764 00:42:50,655 --> 00:42:52,787 I never thought I'd be coming back. 765 00:42:52,831 --> 00:42:55,529 And, uh, when we left, it was pretty peaceful. 766 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,705 And we came back, it was crazy. 767 00:42:57,749 --> 00:43:00,012 So... I don't know. 768 00:43:00,055 --> 00:43:01,361 I'm actually having a ball. 769 00:43:01,404 --> 00:43:02,512 But it's a little different. 770 00:43:02,536 --> 00:43:04,016 This time, I left a wife and a kid, 771 00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:06,671 whereas last time I left a fifth of Jack, you know? 772 00:43:08,368 --> 00:43:09,563 This time, yeah, I'm definitely watchin' 773 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:11,066 my own ass a little bit more, 774 00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:12,981 just 'cause I want my kid to have a dad. 775 00:43:17,507 --> 00:43:19,248 Oh! 776 00:43:20,772 --> 00:43:22,010 I don't know, I'm pretty psyched to go home 777 00:43:22,034 --> 00:43:24,036 and get out of the Marine Corps, but... 778 00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:25,404 now we have time to do things like this, 779 00:43:25,428 --> 00:43:27,126 what we should be doing. 780 00:43:27,169 --> 00:43:28,431 Help these people out. 781 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:30,105 Boost their morale, boost their confidence 782 00:43:30,129 --> 00:43:31,585 so they can help us finish this thing off. 783 00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:32,673 'Cause that's what it's gonna take, 784 00:43:32,697 --> 00:43:34,133 is the Iraqi people to help us. 785 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:03,831 The first day back in the States, 786 00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,113 there's signs all over the highway 787 00:45:05,137 --> 00:45:06,616 coming in through Fallbrook, 788 00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:08,793 "Welcome home, 2/5! Welcome home, 2/5!" 789 00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:10,272 There'll be somebody's name 790 00:45:10,316 --> 00:45:13,232 or something like that, you know? 791 00:45:13,275 --> 00:45:15,321 They hold this formation, we march up there 792 00:45:15,364 --> 00:45:17,758 all super motivated... Everyone's marching in time, 793 00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:19,717 calling, like, that old 794 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,501 drill instructor cadence, you know? 795 00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:24,330 In raggedy-ass cammies and shit. 796 00:45:24,373 --> 00:45:27,376 And, uh, people are... taking pictures of us. 797 00:45:27,420 --> 00:45:30,031 And that's, like, actually one of, like, the proudest 798 00:45:30,075 --> 00:45:32,991 I've ever felt my entire life, man. 799 00:45:33,034 --> 00:45:34,775 Coming back and everyone's, like, 800 00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:36,646 cheering for you and shit, you know? 801 00:45:36,690 --> 00:45:39,475 Company... dismissed! 802 00:45:55,056 --> 00:45:56,884 What a great day. 803 00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:03,064 But after a couple days of being home, it's like... 804 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:08,809 "Well, fuckin' now what?" You know what I'm saying? 805 00:48:06,971 --> 00:48:08,842 This is my area. 806 00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:17,416 It's not insomnia, it's duty. 807 00:48:17,459 --> 00:48:19,157 That's what I say. 808 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,375 I stay up so that I can watch 809 00:48:20,419 --> 00:48:22,203 the whole complex go to sleep, 810 00:48:22,247 --> 00:48:24,336 and then I can go to sleep. 811 00:48:26,033 --> 00:48:27,774 Sittin' on my porch, man. 812 00:48:27,817 --> 00:48:29,645 It's where I go every night. 813 00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:46,967 You gotta have a spot you can retreat to. 814 00:48:47,011 --> 00:48:49,274 It's gotta be your spot, you know, where... 815 00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:52,146 you're kind of in control, you know? 816 00:48:52,190 --> 00:48:53,756 And most of the guys I talk to, 817 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,802 they have that same shit... Like, their basement, 818 00:48:55,845 --> 00:48:58,413 or their fuckin' backyard, or whatever. 819 00:48:58,457 --> 00:49:02,156 Gotta have a place to decompress, every day. 820 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,351 'Cause at the end of every day, 821 00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:07,596 I'm full to the limit with... 822 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,468 stress and whatever. 823 00:49:13,472 --> 00:49:17,650 You have no fuckin' idea what it's like to... 824 00:49:17,693 --> 00:49:19,826 not be able to sleep, man. 825 00:49:19,869 --> 00:49:23,090 It wears on you, and you start to go, 826 00:49:23,134 --> 00:49:24,787 "I'm a burden to my family. 827 00:49:24,831 --> 00:49:27,399 "I'm a burden to myself. I'm a burden to everybody. 828 00:49:27,442 --> 00:49:29,401 I should just fuckin' shoot myself." 829 00:49:32,578 --> 00:49:33,840 I don't know, man, the long arm 830 00:49:33,883 --> 00:49:35,122 of the American government, I... 831 00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,471 That was me, that's who I was, man. 832 00:49:36,495 --> 00:49:38,845 I was the fuckin'... 833 00:49:38,888 --> 00:49:40,803 judge, jury, and executioner. 834 00:49:42,631 --> 00:49:44,459 And it... I didn't like it. 835 00:49:46,026 --> 00:49:47,158 I still don't like it. 836 00:49:47,201 --> 00:49:48,289 But I don't regret it. 837 00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:02,608 I feel like there's a part of myself 838 00:50:02,651 --> 00:50:04,044 over there, you know? 839 00:50:04,088 --> 00:50:05,326 And that's why I went back my fir... 840 00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:06,873 Like, after my first combat tour. 841 00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,048 When I decided to go back, 842 00:50:08,092 --> 00:50:09,571 I felt I needed to, man. 843 00:50:09,615 --> 00:50:11,051 I still feel that... 844 00:50:11,095 --> 00:50:13,227 whatever it was I was doing over there, 845 00:50:13,271 --> 00:50:14,663 it's not fuckin' done yet. 846 00:50:14,707 --> 00:50:15,795 I mean, I'm home and I know 847 00:50:15,838 --> 00:50:17,318 I'm not getting shot at anymore, 848 00:50:17,362 --> 00:50:20,060 and no one's, like, really trying to kill me. 849 00:50:20,104 --> 00:50:23,368 But... I don't think you can ever really... 850 00:50:25,152 --> 00:50:26,390 I don't know, man. I don't think 851 00:50:26,414 --> 00:50:27,894 anybody ever really comes home. 852 00:50:27,937 --> 00:50:30,027 Being unarmed bugged the shit outta me. 853 00:50:30,070 --> 00:50:33,247 Had to have... I had to have some kind of weapon nearby. 854 00:50:33,291 --> 00:50:36,381 Um... I couldn't sleep. 855 00:50:36,424 --> 00:50:38,426 Falling asleep was this ordeal. 856 00:50:38,470 --> 00:50:39,862 I'd be tired and I'd lay down, 857 00:50:39,906 --> 00:50:41,429 and I'd lay there for two hours. 858 00:50:41,473 --> 00:50:44,737 My mind would just go and go and go. 859 00:50:46,782 --> 00:50:49,089 The biggest hurt for me was, you know, 860 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:51,048 I've ruined people's lives. 861 00:50:51,091 --> 00:50:54,051 I arrested people that I didn't even know were terrorists. 862 00:50:54,094 --> 00:50:56,705 You know, I took fathers away from children. 863 00:50:56,749 --> 00:50:59,360 I took children away from fathers. 864 00:50:59,404 --> 00:51:01,928 And, not only that, but... 865 00:51:01,971 --> 00:51:04,670 I permanently took children away from fathers. 866 00:51:04,713 --> 00:51:08,195 You know, I mean, we pulled the fuckin' trigger. 867 00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,371 There's no if, ands, or buts about it. 868 00:51:10,415 --> 00:51:14,375 You know... a killer's a killer. 869 00:51:14,419 --> 00:51:16,160 Period. 870 00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:21,817 And so, the first few years were tough. 871 00:51:21,861 --> 00:51:23,447 You know, I spent a lot of time drinking. 872 00:51:23,471 --> 00:51:25,319 You know, I got into trouble with the law, you know. 873 00:51:25,343 --> 00:51:28,302 And, uh... I spent a little time in jail. 874 00:51:28,346 --> 00:51:31,262 And, for me, it was basically, um... 875 00:51:31,305 --> 00:51:33,481 you know, coming out of jail and getting into the V.A. 876 00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:35,483 and realizing the way I'm doing it, 877 00:51:35,527 --> 00:51:36,963 it's not working, you know? 878 00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:44,579 When I first got back, you know, 879 00:51:44,623 --> 00:51:46,451 I had a lot of rage issues. I would... 880 00:51:46,494 --> 00:51:48,037 You know, my first apartment that I had, 881 00:51:48,061 --> 00:51:50,194 there were so many holes in the walls. 882 00:51:50,237 --> 00:51:52,979 You know, just trashed my car. 883 00:51:53,022 --> 00:51:55,199 I-I punctured the tires on my own car one time 884 00:51:55,242 --> 00:51:56,548 'cause I was pissed off. 885 00:51:56,591 --> 00:51:57,897 Dented, you know, the side of it, 886 00:51:57,940 --> 00:52:00,682 broke a window. Um... I broke my own bones. 887 00:52:00,726 --> 00:52:02,597 Pulled a shotgun on a neighbor one time. 888 00:52:02,641 --> 00:52:05,165 Spent, you know, almost a night in the custody 889 00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,124 of the Long Beach Police Department. 890 00:52:07,167 --> 00:52:10,083 Um, I just... you know, I struggle 891 00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,432 with rage in a big way, 892 00:52:11,476 --> 00:52:13,173 and it ruined relationships for me and... 893 00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:15,871 And strained other relationships for me, 894 00:52:15,915 --> 00:52:17,873 and put me to a place where I kind of did 895 00:52:17,917 --> 00:52:20,659 draw off by myself and get very alone and... 896 00:52:20,702 --> 00:52:23,618 And lost contact with all but a couple of people. 897 00:52:27,622 --> 00:52:29,885 I've been on 32 different types of medications. 898 00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:32,845 Anti-psychosis to heavy narcotics, 899 00:52:32,888 --> 00:52:35,326 tranquilizers, all the way down. 900 00:52:35,369 --> 00:52:37,937 The pill-taking point was my low. 901 00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:39,721 I mean, you know, that... 902 00:52:39,765 --> 00:52:41,723 That's when I actually put a bullet... 903 00:52:41,767 --> 00:52:44,770 or a gun in my mouth, you know? 904 00:52:44,813 --> 00:52:46,641 Loaded up a fuckin'... 905 00:52:46,685 --> 00:52:47,966 a Glock right in front of my wife. 906 00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:50,863 And, you know, told her... 907 00:52:50,906 --> 00:52:53,605 "This is it. 908 00:52:53,648 --> 00:52:55,563 I don't have anything else to live for." 909 00:52:57,565 --> 00:53:02,222 And... you know, it's... 910 00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:05,704 it's then that... After that moment, 911 00:53:05,747 --> 00:53:07,247 the look that I seen in my wife's eyes, 912 00:53:07,271 --> 00:53:09,011 I've never seen before. 913 00:53:09,055 --> 00:53:10,622 And it's... it was a look of, 914 00:53:10,665 --> 00:53:13,494 you know, of her being scared. 915 00:53:13,538 --> 00:53:14,930 I've never seen her scared before. 916 00:53:14,974 --> 00:53:17,672 Not... not like that. 917 00:53:17,716 --> 00:53:20,588 And, I'll... never forget it. 918 00:53:20,632 --> 00:53:22,547 Took that right on out the mouth and... 919 00:53:24,723 --> 00:53:27,204 I haven't done it since, you know what I mean? 920 00:53:27,247 --> 00:53:28,857 And from that moment on, you know, 921 00:53:28,901 --> 00:53:32,165 I realized... I need help. 922 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,646 I didn't want to be defined as, 923 00:53:34,689 --> 00:53:36,909 you know, a Marine or combat Marine. 924 00:53:36,952 --> 00:53:39,520 But what I realized after ten years 925 00:53:39,564 --> 00:53:42,262 is that is a part of you, and it does define you. 926 00:53:42,306 --> 00:53:45,222 And it's something that for a long, long time, 927 00:53:45,265 --> 00:53:47,485 I tried to put in the background, 928 00:53:47,528 --> 00:53:49,574 shake off, whatever you want to call it, 929 00:53:49,617 --> 00:53:51,402 and it was a real moment, actually, 930 00:53:51,445 --> 00:53:53,578 a real moment of clarity for me. 931 00:53:53,621 --> 00:53:55,275 Um, not too long ago. 932 00:53:55,319 --> 00:53:58,452 About a year ago, speaking to a Vietnam veteran 933 00:53:58,496 --> 00:54:02,456 who basically said, "Son, that never goes away. 934 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:03,936 "That's just the way it is. 935 00:54:03,979 --> 00:54:05,807 You're gonna have to learn to deal with it. 936 00:54:26,872 --> 00:54:28,917 Daddy, there was... 937 00:54:28,961 --> 00:54:33,182 I got out of the Marines, uh, Thanksgiving Day of '05. 938 00:54:33,226 --> 00:54:34,508 You're at home, you're safe, and you're sitting there 939 00:54:34,532 --> 00:54:36,292 with your kid and your wife, you know, and... 940 00:54:36,316 --> 00:54:37,535 and it was really over. 941 00:54:37,578 --> 00:54:40,320 That's... that's my mommy, that's you. 942 00:54:40,364 --> 00:54:42,627 I saw the man on his worst day, 943 00:54:42,670 --> 00:54:45,020 and, you know, I'm glad I did it, 944 00:54:45,064 --> 00:54:49,024 because now I know exactly what to teach my son. 945 00:54:49,068 --> 00:54:51,505 You know, I know exactly what to tell him. 946 00:54:51,549 --> 00:54:54,291 And I know exactly how to treat him when... 947 00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:57,032 You know, when he wants to go do that crap, you know? 948 00:54:57,076 --> 00:54:58,556 And... And I can write music about it, 949 00:54:58,599 --> 00:55:00,471 and I can, uh... 950 00:55:00,514 --> 00:55:01,954 I suffered a little bit, but I can... 951 00:55:01,994 --> 00:55:03,909 I can help a lot of people, I think. 952 00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,034 Towards the middle of that tour in Ramadi, 953 00:55:42,077 --> 00:55:43,427 I started to really have an issue 954 00:55:43,470 --> 00:55:46,125 with the way we were... handling things. 955 00:55:46,168 --> 00:55:48,388 Um... the whole... 956 00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:50,564 the interruption of people's lives, 957 00:55:50,608 --> 00:55:52,044 I had a huge problem with. 958 00:55:52,087 --> 00:55:54,481 If you tell... start bitching to your men about it, 959 00:55:54,525 --> 00:55:57,049 then you're just a useless squad walkin' around. 960 00:55:57,092 --> 00:55:59,878 So, I'd use my guitar as an outlet... 961 00:55:59,921 --> 00:56:02,402 you know, to... To bitch and complain 962 00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:03,925 about the way things were going. 963 00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:06,493 And this way, the boys aren't hearing me, 964 00:56:06,537 --> 00:56:09,366 uh, talk trash about... About the war. 965 00:56:09,409 --> 00:56:11,106 And about the administration we were under. 966 00:56:13,631 --> 00:56:16,721 As... As we would get hit really bad or lose someone, 967 00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:19,854 or someone would get wounded, um, 968 00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:22,291 all this music became reflective suddenly. 969 00:56:22,335 --> 00:56:25,817 The funny stuff ended just immediately. 970 00:56:25,860 --> 00:56:27,819 That's when I became a songwriter, 971 00:56:27,862 --> 00:56:29,081 right then and there. 972 00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,345 I started playing music with a local band, 973 00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:34,042 uh, just having fun. 974 00:56:34,086 --> 00:56:37,829 And I was getting ready for a gig in Cincinnati. 975 00:56:37,872 --> 00:56:39,831 And I get the phone call from Mike Cerre. 976 00:56:39,874 --> 00:56:43,008 And he was a journalist that was embedded with us in Iraq. 977 00:56:43,051 --> 00:56:44,401 And, uh, he called me and said, 978 00:56:44,444 --> 00:56:46,054 "Hey, you know... 979 00:56:46,098 --> 00:56:47,447 You know who Neil Young is?" 980 00:56:47,491 --> 00:56:49,101 I'm like, "Yeah. Yeah, I know who he is." 981 00:56:49,144 --> 00:56:51,451 So, he's like, "I'm doing this movie for him, 982 00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:53,671 "'CSNY/Déjà Vu.' And he's, uh, 983 00:56:53,714 --> 00:56:55,257 "he's really into your music and stuff, man. 984 00:56:55,281 --> 00:56:56,693 "He wants to... he wants you to come up 985 00:56:56,717 --> 00:56:57,892 "and play with him and stuff. 986 00:56:57,936 --> 00:56:59,503 When he comes through town." 987 00:56:59,546 --> 00:57:01,287 And I'm like, "What?" 988 00:57:04,638 --> 00:57:06,510 What's the order? Here's the man. 989 00:57:06,553 --> 00:57:07,685 Oh, hey, Josh. Hey! 990 00:57:07,728 --> 00:57:09,904 How are you? Ah, give it up, big guy. 991 00:57:09,948 --> 00:57:11,558 How are ya? Good to see ya! 992 00:57:11,602 --> 00:57:13,995 Winner time! Mark, mark, mark! 993 00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,388 Yeah, are you feeling good to be 994 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,539 back home for a while and... 995 00:57:16,563 --> 00:57:17,825 Yes! I'm doing well. 996 00:57:17,869 --> 00:57:19,309 Taking it easy. Adapting.Good. Great. 997 00:57:19,348 --> 00:57:21,133 Yeah, really. 998 00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,701 All right, let's do it. 999 00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:26,007 Ladies and gentlemen, Neil Young! 1000 00:57:27,661 --> 00:57:29,097 The reason we did it was to shoot 1001 00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:31,404 this documentary, "CSNY/Déjà Vu." 1002 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:32,927 We did Sundance together. 1003 00:57:32,971 --> 00:57:34,557 We did a couple other shows that, you know... 1004 00:57:34,581 --> 00:57:36,670 and it's just been going on ever since. 1005 00:57:36,714 --> 00:57:38,716 Jackie, I want to thank you so much. 1006 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,631 And it's a real pleasure for me to introduce 1007 00:57:40,674 --> 00:57:42,154 this friend of mine. 1008 00:57:42,197 --> 00:57:44,983 A guy that's in our movie, uh, "Déjà Vu." 1009 00:57:45,026 --> 00:57:49,030 He's a... he's a soldier that was in Iraq, twice. 1010 00:57:49,074 --> 00:57:51,337 He's a songwriter, 1011 00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:53,382 and he's here tonight to play for you. 1012 00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:56,342 His name is Josh Hisle, and he'll be playing 1013 00:57:56,385 --> 00:57:58,736 with his accompanist, Jennifer Wheatley. 1014 00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:01,347 So, how about a big hand for Josh and Jennifer? 1015 00:58:07,788 --> 00:58:09,877 Hi, I'm Josh. This is Jennifer. 1016 00:58:09,921 --> 00:58:12,706 Um, wow! 1017 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:14,578 Neil Young. 1018 00:58:16,536 --> 00:58:18,886 All right, we're just gonna get right into it, okay? 1019 00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:13,027 And what happened was, 1020 00:59:13,071 --> 00:59:14,309 once we started hitting the road 1021 00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:16,553 and started sharing this music, 1022 00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:18,293 I suddenly became this guy 1023 00:59:18,337 --> 00:59:20,252 that all these vets wanted to talk to. 1024 00:59:20,295 --> 00:59:21,621 We'd have all these vets in the crowd, 1025 00:59:21,645 --> 00:59:23,057 and they'd be talking to us afterwards 1026 00:59:23,081 --> 00:59:24,865 about how... we keep 'em... 1027 00:59:24,909 --> 00:59:27,041 you know, we're keeping 'em alive, or... 1028 00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:29,609 or, uh, you know, they can listen to our music 1029 00:59:29,653 --> 00:59:31,829 and be all right, and feel all right. 1030 00:59:31,872 --> 00:59:33,613 And they can relate to everything. 1031 00:59:33,657 --> 00:59:37,269 So... it just turned into something real powerful, man. 1032 00:59:37,312 --> 00:59:39,029 And then when that happ... Once that happens, man, 1033 00:59:39,053 --> 00:59:41,229 once you decide that... 1034 00:59:41,273 --> 00:59:43,188 that you care about these people, 1035 00:59:43,231 --> 00:59:45,016 you're married to it forever, you know? 1036 01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:10,911 Great job, man! Great! 1037 01:00:10,955 --> 01:00:12,870 Thank you. All right. 1038 01:00:14,088 --> 01:00:16,613 Beautiful. 1039 01:00:30,801 --> 01:00:32,411 After Josh got out 1040 01:00:32,454 --> 01:00:34,215 and he started getting, you know, a little famous 1041 01:00:34,239 --> 01:00:37,721 touring with Stills and Nash and all those guys, 1042 01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:42,247 CNN did a piece on... on him, and he was singing, 1043 01:00:42,290 --> 01:00:44,336 I think that song "Traitor's Death," 1044 01:00:44,379 --> 01:00:46,033 or something like that. 1045 01:00:46,077 --> 01:00:49,080 And CNN was doing this piece about, you know, 1046 01:00:49,123 --> 01:00:51,648 just the whole anti-war thing. 1047 01:00:51,691 --> 01:00:53,016 And I'm still in, man, I'm getting ready 1048 01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:54,738 to go back again. 1049 01:00:54,781 --> 01:00:56,914 And I saw that shit, and I was like, 1050 01:00:56,957 --> 01:00:58,916 "Fucking Hisle, dude." 1051 01:00:58,959 --> 01:01:02,746 I'm s... "Fuck that guy, dude. How could you do that?" 1052 01:01:25,551 --> 01:01:28,467 I was so mad at him for like the longest time, dude. 1053 01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:30,730 And then, I like... I came across 1054 01:01:30,774 --> 01:01:33,733 some of his other... I think it was that song "Bail Me Out." 1055 01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:36,736 And this is a fucking pretty righteous song, man, you know? 1056 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:39,173 And especially after I got out and started 1057 01:01:39,217 --> 01:01:43,177 looking at things more objectively, and you know, 1058 01:01:43,221 --> 01:01:47,051 I started, like, "Well, I... I pretty much agree with him." 1059 01:02:09,247 --> 01:02:12,337 My biggest hope is that people can listen to my music 1060 01:02:12,380 --> 01:02:15,340 and see a painted picture of, "A," 1061 01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:16,689 what you're gonna have to do 1062 01:02:16,733 --> 01:02:18,256 if you go over there, and the things 1063 01:02:18,299 --> 01:02:19,953 that you're gonna encounter. 1064 01:02:19,997 --> 01:02:22,390 And, "B," what you live with 1065 01:02:22,434 --> 01:02:24,915 for the rest of your life after you do it. 1066 01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:26,873 If you can listen to music or watch a film 1067 01:02:26,917 --> 01:02:28,875 and educate yourself, and know what... 1068 01:02:28,919 --> 01:02:32,618 You know these horrors of war without having to go do it. 1069 01:02:32,661 --> 01:02:35,403 That's the mission, man, that's the mission. 1070 01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:39,320 My pleasure, man. 1071 01:02:47,241 --> 01:02:50,636 What a perfect night for Josh Hisle 1072 01:02:50,679 --> 01:02:53,204 to be sharing his music with us. 1073 01:02:53,247 --> 01:02:55,336 Make welcome and celebrate the Fourth of July 1074 01:02:55,380 --> 01:02:57,208 with Josh Hisle. 1075 01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:17,130 2008, I did Sundance with Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. 1076 01:05:17,174 --> 01:05:18,697 It was really cool. 1077 01:05:18,740 --> 01:05:20,500 After that ended, I started looking for gigs, 1078 01:05:20,525 --> 01:05:22,590 came home and was... went on the road with Mikey Ronstadt. 1079 01:05:22,614 --> 01:05:24,746 And we got a call from Walt Michael, 1080 01:05:24,790 --> 01:05:27,140 who runs a music and arts festival 1081 01:05:27,184 --> 01:05:28,533 called Common Ground on the Hill. 1082 01:05:28,576 --> 01:05:31,928 And he hired us in to tell our story, 1083 01:05:31,971 --> 01:05:34,234 and to... to play music and to teach music. 1084 01:05:34,278 --> 01:05:36,497 And it's a great gig. He's like, "It's a whole week, 1085 01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:38,978 and you live on a college campus, you get paid, you get fed." 1086 01:05:39,022 --> 01:05:43,026 And I get there, and it's just this incredible community 1087 01:05:43,069 --> 01:05:45,898 of people who truly took me in. 1088 01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:48,814 And even though I was teaching, I was learning so much, 1089 01:05:48,857 --> 01:05:50,598 making some of the best friends in my life. 1090 01:05:50,642 --> 01:05:53,645 And I started to heal as a result 1091 01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:55,429 of Common Ground on the Hill. 1092 01:06:31,683 --> 01:06:34,425 Thanks. 1093 01:06:34,468 --> 01:06:37,732 Thank you. Thanks a lot. 1094 01:06:49,918 --> 01:06:54,097 Common Ground on the Hill was founded in 1994, 1095 01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:57,578 and the idea was to bring together artists 1096 01:06:57,622 --> 01:07:00,407 and to foster dialogue among artists 1097 01:07:00,451 --> 01:07:03,715 about day-to-day boots on the ground issues 1098 01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:06,022 for all of us in our society. 1099 01:07:06,065 --> 01:07:07,762 At the same time, we celebrate our arts, 1100 01:07:07,806 --> 01:07:10,461 and we believe that a healthy society 1101 01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:13,246 is one that has its arts happening. 1102 01:07:20,732 --> 01:07:24,083 Josh Hisle came to us, I think four years ago, 1103 01:07:24,127 --> 01:07:29,436 and I was immediately blown away by his songs, 1104 01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:32,831 and his ability. 1105 01:07:32,874 --> 01:07:36,226 And not only ability, but his... 1106 01:07:36,269 --> 01:07:40,317 need to speak freely and to speak truth. 1107 01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:42,971 And I felt like we needed to hear that, 1108 01:07:43,015 --> 01:07:46,279 and I feel that our country and our world 1109 01:07:46,323 --> 01:07:47,802 needs to hear this. 1110 01:07:47,846 --> 01:07:54,157 We take the warriors who, um... who serve us, 1111 01:07:54,200 --> 01:08:00,424 who serve our countries, and we train them, 1112 01:08:00,467 --> 01:08:03,514 and they do their work as requested. 1113 01:08:03,557 --> 01:08:05,951 And then, we forget about them. 1114 01:08:05,994 --> 01:08:08,432 We honor them. 1115 01:08:08,475 --> 01:08:11,913 In this generation, we're honoring these people. 1116 01:08:11,957 --> 01:08:14,394 But I'm not sure we follow up right, 1117 01:08:14,438 --> 01:08:18,268 and I'm not sure that, um, unless we hear their stories 1118 01:08:18,311 --> 01:08:22,141 and allow them to be okay with their stories, 1119 01:08:22,185 --> 01:08:24,709 that we're doing our jobs as citizens. 1120 01:08:27,190 --> 01:08:30,454 We were asked to come back a second year and a third year. 1121 01:08:30,497 --> 01:08:35,198 After a while, I decided that this was helping me. 1122 01:08:35,241 --> 01:08:38,157 This was helping me psychologically. 1123 01:08:38,201 --> 01:08:39,985 I was feeling worth something again, 1124 01:08:40,028 --> 01:08:43,336 I was... you know, I was feeling like I was contributing again. 1125 01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:46,078 I was writing music that I wasn't just complaining 1126 01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:49,516 about my woes anymore, I was writing music 1127 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,040 that was helping me, it was healing me, my own soul. 1128 01:08:52,084 --> 01:08:53,781 And their music was healing my soul. 1129 01:08:53,825 --> 01:08:58,482 I just wanna thank you guys from the bottom of my heart 1130 01:08:58,525 --> 01:09:01,267 for bringing me in here four years ago 1131 01:09:01,311 --> 01:09:03,443 and saving my life. 1132 01:09:03,487 --> 01:09:06,054 It changed the game for me completely. 1133 01:09:06,098 --> 01:09:08,318 War changes you, period. 1134 01:09:08,361 --> 01:09:11,408 It helps me a lot to hear what everyone's thinking. 1135 01:09:11,451 --> 01:09:12,689 You know what I mean, it helps me 1136 01:09:12,713 --> 01:09:14,324 to know how you guys feel. 1137 01:09:14,367 --> 01:09:16,195 So, I just wanted to thank all of you, 1138 01:09:16,239 --> 01:09:18,763 and give yourselves a huge round of applause. 1139 01:09:18,806 --> 01:09:20,982 Go ahead, give it up for yourselves. 1140 01:09:21,026 --> 01:09:24,856 You guys are awesome. 1141 01:09:24,899 --> 01:09:26,219 I knew that if this could help me, 1142 01:09:26,249 --> 01:09:28,033 it could help other veterans. 1143 01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:30,601 So, naturally, I reached out to Blackhearts, people I knew, 1144 01:09:30,644 --> 01:09:32,516 that I knew, I'd been in contact, 1145 01:09:32,559 --> 01:09:33,919 and I knew were having a hard time, 1146 01:09:33,952 --> 01:09:36,389 or could... I think could benefit from this. 1147 01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:22,043 We formed the Vets Initiative Common Ground on the Hill 1148 01:10:22,087 --> 01:10:23,654 three years ago. 1149 01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:25,327 We're bringing veterans... Scholarshipping veterans 1150 01:10:25,351 --> 01:10:27,024 and bringing 'em to Common Ground on the Hill, 1151 01:10:27,048 --> 01:10:29,181 to various places, Westminster, Maryland, 1152 01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:32,140 here in Gettysburg, as well as Tucson, Arizona. 1153 01:10:32,184 --> 01:10:35,927 And the idea is to reintegrate warriors, returning warriors 1154 01:10:35,970 --> 01:10:39,235 back into civilian society through arts and music, 1155 01:10:39,278 --> 01:10:42,238 and... and classroom programming. 1156 01:10:42,281 --> 01:10:45,110 And, you know, we raise money throughout the year, 1157 01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:48,374 uh, just guerilla-style, to bring these guys in, 1158 01:10:48,418 --> 01:10:51,247 and it's been successful thus far. 1159 01:10:51,290 --> 01:10:54,119 Made a left turn and driven about a mile and a half... 1160 01:10:59,690 --> 01:11:01,822 Hisle, he called me and he told me 1161 01:11:01,866 --> 01:11:03,650 about this Common Ground event. 1162 01:11:03,694 --> 01:11:05,783 And he told me that... Started... just kinda told me 1163 01:11:05,826 --> 01:11:07,239 something about, "Oh, there's this, like, festival 1164 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:10,222 "and there's, um... uh, music. 1165 01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,791 There's, uh... the trade skills, classes." 1166 01:11:13,834 --> 01:11:15,445 I talked to Blakley for a little bit, 1167 01:11:15,488 --> 01:11:18,056 and he explained to me what... what Common Ground was, 1168 01:11:18,099 --> 01:11:22,365 and... I couldn't pass it up. 1169 01:11:22,408 --> 01:11:25,281 First time Hans told me about it, 1170 01:11:25,324 --> 01:11:27,283 I... I looked at the video, 1171 01:11:27,326 --> 01:11:30,024 and I was like, "What the fuck is this?" 1172 01:11:30,068 --> 01:11:32,200 I mean, it was... It was a hippie fest, you know? 1173 01:11:32,244 --> 01:11:33,854 It was like, it was artists. 1174 01:11:33,898 --> 01:11:35,258 Like, "Dude, I don't play no music. 1175 01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,988 What the hell am I gonna do here?" 1176 01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:39,382 Obviously, it was a little bit of culture shock at first. 1177 01:11:39,425 --> 01:11:41,993 But since I've been here, over the last few days, 1178 01:11:42,036 --> 01:11:45,213 I think it's imperative that veterans are here, 1179 01:11:45,257 --> 01:11:47,955 so that everybody else can have a more educated opinion 1180 01:11:47,999 --> 01:11:50,436 on what we are doing when we're in, 1181 01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,264 what we're doing when we get out, 1182 01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:54,919 and that we're just people, too. 1183 01:11:54,962 --> 01:11:57,443 Don't knock it till you try it, that's really the only... 1184 01:11:57,487 --> 01:11:59,227 The only way you can explain it. 1185 01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:01,142 Because it's not until you get here 1186 01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:04,363 that you realize that people still care about you. 1187 01:12:16,506 --> 01:12:19,073 Those of you in here who aren't combat veterans, 1188 01:12:19,117 --> 01:12:20,248 you're in here for a reason. 1189 01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:22,033 You're in here to understand 1190 01:12:22,076 --> 01:12:24,383 that we're in here with you to understand. 1191 01:12:24,427 --> 01:12:27,430 Uh, brought you here to bridge a gap, you know. 1192 01:12:27,473 --> 01:12:30,607 When you come back, being 23 years old 1193 01:12:30,650 --> 01:12:32,696 when I got out of the Army, all of my friends, 1194 01:12:32,739 --> 01:12:34,238 I mean, they're just getting done finishing up 1195 01:12:34,262 --> 01:12:36,134 their bachelor's degree, and I don't even know 1196 01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:39,833 how to conduct myself like a normal human being... 1197 01:12:39,877 --> 01:12:42,923 when I'm being reintroduced into society. 1198 01:12:42,967 --> 01:12:44,795 My friends are like, "What is wrong with you? 1199 01:12:44,838 --> 01:12:47,014 "Why are you driving 110 miles an hour, 1200 01:12:47,058 --> 01:12:50,366 dodging bags of trash blowing across the road?" 1201 01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:55,153 And it's incredibly hard for them to empathize 1202 01:12:55,196 --> 01:12:57,198 with what we've been through. 1203 01:12:57,242 --> 01:13:00,332 There'll be no shortage of suicides this year. 1204 01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,290 There'll be no shortage of wars in the future. 1205 01:13:02,334 --> 01:13:04,249 And just remember that it's gonna... 1206 01:13:04,292 --> 01:13:06,686 There's gonna be a lot more boys and girls 1207 01:13:06,730 --> 01:13:08,601 to take care of that are coming back. 1208 01:13:08,645 --> 01:13:10,516 There were a couple of other classes 1209 01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:12,431 that I thought about taking. 1210 01:13:12,475 --> 01:13:15,956 And something just drew me to this. 1211 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:19,873 I... I guess it's the need to understand more. 1212 01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:22,572 You know, we love to say "support our troops," 1213 01:13:22,615 --> 01:13:24,400 and, "Oh, I support our vets." 1214 01:13:24,443 --> 01:13:27,838 But you know, flag waving and all that kind of stuff 1215 01:13:27,881 --> 01:13:30,406 isn't... that's not gonna do too much. 1216 01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:32,886 I think we have a real responsibility to... 1217 01:13:32,930 --> 01:13:34,975 To do more to get to know them, 1218 01:13:35,019 --> 01:13:39,458 and to, uh, to find out how we can help them. 1219 01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:41,286 To get their perspective just puts everything 1220 01:13:41,329 --> 01:13:43,244 in a whole different light, 1221 01:13:43,288 --> 01:13:45,508 which I'm gonna take away for me, 1222 01:13:45,551 --> 01:13:47,553 and you know, remember forever, really. 1223 01:13:50,948 --> 01:13:53,080 One of the cool things about the Veterans Initiative 1224 01:13:53,124 --> 01:13:56,040 is the cast, the vets that come. 1225 01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:57,650 We got a lot of young Iraq guys 1226 01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:59,260 that are really having a hard time 1227 01:13:59,304 --> 01:14:02,046 trying to find some way up and out. 1228 01:14:02,089 --> 01:14:04,875 Then you got Ragtime, a Vietnam-era Marine. 1229 01:14:04,918 --> 01:14:06,746 He's found this level of peace, 1230 01:14:06,790 --> 01:14:10,097 and he's like a great mentor to the younger guys. 1231 01:14:10,141 --> 01:14:13,710 And sometimes, just being in contact with other... 1232 01:14:13,753 --> 01:14:18,541 With other warriors, um... that's all you need, 1233 01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:20,519 just to be in touch again, just to be able to talk 1234 01:14:20,543 --> 01:14:22,458 to someone who speaks your language. 1235 01:14:30,161 --> 01:14:31,858 Well, as you can see, 1236 01:14:31,902 --> 01:14:34,818 we're making a totem pole for everybody. 1237 01:14:34,861 --> 01:14:36,646 We're hopefully gonna represent everybody 1238 01:14:36,689 --> 01:14:39,126 that came with us in the initiative. 1239 01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:41,520 We got Fox 2/5's insignia. 1240 01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:43,653 Old Ragtime, who's an old former Marine, 1241 01:14:43,696 --> 01:14:45,496 he wanted a peace symbol, so he's been working 1242 01:14:45,524 --> 01:14:48,527 on his peace symbol and getting everybody started in it. 1243 01:14:48,571 --> 01:14:52,226 I make music with a file, they make music with a guitar. 1244 01:14:52,270 --> 01:14:53,967 It's all... it's all the same thing. 1245 01:14:54,011 --> 01:14:57,188 Each one is art, it's just art in a different direction. 1246 01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:02,628 It's almost surreal because it's ten years of time 1247 01:15:02,672 --> 01:15:04,737 that have gone by since I've seen a lot of these people. 1248 01:15:04,761 --> 01:15:08,373 You know, it's been a long road, I guess you could say. 1249 01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:10,506 You... you either choose to reinvent yourself 1250 01:15:10,549 --> 01:15:12,508 and change along the way, or you... 1251 01:15:12,551 --> 01:15:15,336 you get stuck in the mire, and that's those guys 1252 01:15:15,380 --> 01:15:17,271 that we're trying to help and, you know, just show 'em 1253 01:15:17,295 --> 01:15:18,862 that it's okay to look forward. 1254 01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:22,605 It's okay to not be the quintessential tough guys. 1255 01:15:22,648 --> 01:15:26,391 It's okay to... to not have to think about it every day. 1256 01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:28,021 You know, you're not doing any of the people 1257 01:15:28,045 --> 01:15:29,742 that were left behind an injustice 1258 01:15:29,786 --> 01:15:31,744 by putting their memory away. 1259 01:15:31,788 --> 01:15:33,461 'Cause if they were alive, they'd tell you, 1260 01:15:33,485 --> 01:15:34,680 "Why aren't you living your life? 1261 01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:36,140 "Why aren't you keeping going? 1262 01:15:36,183 --> 01:15:37,683 Why aren't you expressing yourself," you know? 1263 01:15:37,707 --> 01:15:39,273 So, you can either let it destroy you, 1264 01:15:39,317 --> 01:15:41,164 or you can take it and use it to heal the world. 1265 01:15:41,188 --> 01:15:42,929 And so, that's what this place is all about, 1266 01:15:42,973 --> 01:15:45,192 and I absolutely love it. 1267 01:15:58,162 --> 01:16:00,468 When I got back from 'Nam, I didn't want to be 1268 01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:02,819 that person that I was. 1269 01:16:02,862 --> 01:16:04,864 I didn't like him very much. 1270 01:16:04,908 --> 01:16:11,001 And Ragtime came about as I was just searching for an identity. 1271 01:16:11,044 --> 01:16:14,613 I heard that on a song by The Band 1272 01:16:14,657 --> 01:16:16,659 called "Rockin' Chair." 1273 01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:18,965 Not gonna sail the seven seas anymore. 1274 01:16:19,009 --> 01:16:20,619 He's gonna sit on his porch in his rocker 1275 01:16:20,663 --> 01:16:22,490 with his old friend Ragtime. 1276 01:16:22,534 --> 01:16:26,625 And... and I heard that name, and... it's just who I became. 1277 01:16:26,669 --> 01:16:30,324 It just was so cool, that I felt that that's who I was. 1278 01:16:59,658 --> 01:17:01,834 Being an artist was quite a shift. 1279 01:17:01,878 --> 01:17:05,185 It seemed very strange that that was kinda my path, 1280 01:17:05,229 --> 01:17:08,101 was gonna be into art rather than violence, 1281 01:17:08,145 --> 01:17:09,625 or killing, or something like that. 1282 01:17:09,668 --> 01:17:12,279 I just thought my whole past life 1283 01:17:12,323 --> 01:17:16,806 hadn't been going towards art at all. 1284 01:17:16,849 --> 01:17:21,071 I avoided it... with extreme prejudice. 1285 01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:24,683 And, um... now, I want to be an artist, 1286 01:17:24,727 --> 01:17:28,905 but I still don't really think of myself as that. 1287 01:17:28,948 --> 01:17:33,692 I'm still just basically a grunt that does some things well. 1288 01:17:40,612 --> 01:17:44,181 Well, this is a piece I did about 15 years ago, 1289 01:17:44,224 --> 01:17:49,752 when, um, I was just starting to be diagnosed with PTSD. 1290 01:17:49,795 --> 01:17:53,364 The head is a mass of disorganized matter. 1291 01:17:53,407 --> 01:17:59,457 And the hair, it swirls between chaos and order. 1292 01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:02,025 The shoulders are crying deep blue water, 1293 01:18:02,068 --> 01:18:05,115 and the neck is a simmering volcano. 1294 01:18:05,158 --> 01:18:09,685 And that's how life was for a while. 1295 01:18:09,728 --> 01:18:12,513 This gold beam is coming in to try to defuse 1296 01:18:12,557 --> 01:18:15,734 the disorganization in there and bring healing. 1297 01:18:15,778 --> 01:18:17,562 I guess that's what this is gonna try 1298 01:18:17,605 --> 01:18:20,347 to put the pieces back together. 1299 01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:30,488 It took 30 years till they started recognizing PTSD. 1300 01:18:30,531 --> 01:18:32,708 And so, all those years in there, 1301 01:18:32,751 --> 01:18:35,058 I went through a marriage, I went through a lot of things, 1302 01:18:35,101 --> 01:18:36,668 you know, and it's like, I didn't know 1303 01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:38,365 what was wrong with me. 1304 01:18:38,409 --> 01:18:41,238 And when the first night I got to Common Ground, 1305 01:18:41,281 --> 01:18:44,241 it was just like, all these guys 1306 01:18:44,284 --> 01:18:46,025 and all this energy that I hadn't felt 1307 01:18:46,069 --> 01:18:48,767 in that mass for a long, long time. 1308 01:18:48,811 --> 01:18:50,421 I loved it. 1309 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:56,470 I feel like I'm over the hill, man. 1310 01:18:56,514 --> 01:18:59,212 But I can still have a few shots in... 1311 01:18:59,256 --> 01:19:01,519 I can help the younger bucks with. 1312 01:19:01,562 --> 01:19:04,565 But they gotta be there, too. 1313 01:19:04,609 --> 01:19:06,959 And that's why I want to be a part of Common Ground, 1314 01:19:07,003 --> 01:19:10,658 'cause there's people actually walking the walk. 1315 01:19:12,835 --> 01:19:17,970 I do feel that I have not lived in vain. 1316 01:19:18,014 --> 01:19:21,104 Maybe somewhere down the road, someone will look at my life 1317 01:19:21,147 --> 01:19:25,630 and say, "Well, Ragtime wasn't drinking the Kool-Aid." 1318 01:19:43,169 --> 01:19:44,954 War sucks. 1319 01:19:47,260 --> 01:19:50,089 There's never been a good war or a bad peace. 1320 01:19:52,613 --> 01:19:54,398 As far as being a warrior goes, 1321 01:19:54,441 --> 01:19:58,402 I'm very proud that I was able to accomplish that in my life, 1322 01:19:58,445 --> 01:19:59,882 and I feel good about that. 1323 01:19:59,925 --> 01:20:04,234 But what I did with that was not good at all. 1324 01:20:04,277 --> 01:20:07,803 I don't like what we did to the Vietnamese people at all. 1325 01:20:07,846 --> 01:20:11,110 It's put a hole in my soul that's still there. 1326 01:20:11,154 --> 01:20:13,199 It ain't over yet, and I've... 1327 01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:17,682 I've been a grunt for... Since 1963. 1328 01:20:20,467 --> 01:20:22,034 It's okay to be a warrior. 1329 01:20:22,078 --> 01:20:24,080 It's strength, it's not the fight. 1330 01:20:24,123 --> 01:20:28,867 You know, feeling more like a warrior now. 1331 01:20:28,911 --> 01:20:31,435 As long as I'm here, I'm... It's the American Dream. 1332 01:20:31,478 --> 01:20:33,393 Right on. 1333 01:20:33,437 --> 01:20:37,833 America forgot what it was supposed to be doing. 1334 01:20:37,876 --> 01:20:40,400 But I remember. 1335 01:20:54,414 --> 01:20:57,069 So, this is the worst part right here. 1336 01:20:57,113 --> 01:20:59,855 Just, you know, like, being on the 405 right here 1337 01:20:59,898 --> 01:21:02,509 where it kind of merges with the 101, 1338 01:21:02,553 --> 01:21:06,209 and then when it starts to, you know, go more south 1339 01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:11,954 through the Getty Center and into the Wilshire District. 1340 01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:15,044 That territory, that just kind of... 1341 01:21:15,087 --> 01:21:17,046 It really gets me, 'cause right here, 1342 01:21:17,089 --> 01:21:18,656 you feel like you're bottlenecked in, 1343 01:21:18,699 --> 01:21:20,527 and like, you know, there's people over there 1344 01:21:20,571 --> 01:21:24,096 that somebody can post if they really didn't like other people. 1345 01:21:24,140 --> 01:21:26,359 It's a tactical advantage for the enemy. 1346 01:21:26,403 --> 01:21:28,927 This place is... I mean, a lot of casualties 1347 01:21:28,971 --> 01:21:30,494 could happen here. 1348 01:21:30,537 --> 01:21:33,889 And it's just, you know, all it takes is one asshole 1349 01:21:33,932 --> 01:21:39,459 to go up there and, you know... make people's lives a hell. 1350 01:21:43,420 --> 01:21:47,815 I only did one tour in Iraq. I invaded, and, uh... 1351 01:21:47,859 --> 01:21:51,689 I mean, like, everybody that was in my fire team 1352 01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:53,734 is... is gone now. 1353 01:21:53,778 --> 01:21:56,346 They died either coming home or serving 1354 01:21:56,389 --> 01:21:58,652 in Ramadi the second time. 1355 01:21:58,696 --> 01:22:02,700 These guys were all guys that had just extraordinary futures 1356 01:22:02,743 --> 01:22:04,615 laid out for them. 1357 01:22:06,878 --> 01:22:10,490 Yeah, I mean, in some sense, I feel like I betrayed them 1358 01:22:10,534 --> 01:22:12,971 because I didn't go back with them. 1359 01:22:13,015 --> 01:22:14,799 That guilt just starts to set in, 1360 01:22:14,842 --> 01:22:18,194 and I felt this urge to still help. 1361 01:22:18,237 --> 01:22:20,370 My service was not done. 1362 01:22:20,413 --> 01:22:23,503 And I couldn't let my brothers down. 1363 01:22:25,244 --> 01:22:28,160 You just gotta live your life wholly and fully, 1364 01:22:28,204 --> 01:22:31,947 and peacefully, and you gotta show that that is possible, 1365 01:22:31,990 --> 01:22:34,166 and that's how you honor them. 1366 01:22:34,210 --> 01:22:37,648 The things I... I really honed in on 1367 01:22:37,691 --> 01:22:41,304 to help me heal were simple things, 1368 01:22:41,347 --> 01:22:43,828 like planting your own vegetables 1369 01:22:43,871 --> 01:22:47,266 and building, you know, simple things. 1370 01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:50,226 Your dog, feeding him. 1371 01:22:50,269 --> 01:22:56,449 Daily tasks that are routines that bring you so much joy. 1372 01:22:57,755 --> 01:23:01,715 You know, cooking and loving food, 1373 01:23:01,759 --> 01:23:06,416 and loving how a community works, 1374 01:23:06,459 --> 01:23:07,828 especially the folk scene, you know, 1375 01:23:07,852 --> 01:23:09,375 the folk... the folk communities, 1376 01:23:09,419 --> 01:23:15,033 where people are sharing music and food and stories. 1377 01:23:15,077 --> 01:23:18,384 Those things really kind of give me a sense of purpose 1378 01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:21,779 and a sense to move on. 1379 01:23:21,822 --> 01:23:25,913 Like Ragtime, he's reached the farthest stage of healing, 1380 01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:27,915 I mean, that you can probably possibly reach. 1381 01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:29,961 He's found his inner peace. 1382 01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:34,052 He knows he has to live with the tragedies in his life, 1383 01:23:34,096 --> 01:23:36,402 but he doesn't dwell on 'em. 1384 01:23:36,446 --> 01:23:39,101 That is, in my eyes, it is attainable. 1385 01:23:39,144 --> 01:23:40,667 I know it is. 1386 01:23:40,711 --> 01:23:42,254 I know it is because I know I have support 1387 01:23:42,278 --> 01:23:44,193 from other veterans. 1388 01:23:44,236 --> 01:23:46,891 A lot of guys, they just get out 1389 01:23:46,934 --> 01:23:49,546 and they're... they're really lost, you know? 1390 01:23:49,589 --> 01:23:52,418 And there's other things that need to happen, obviously, 1391 01:23:52,462 --> 01:23:57,206 at the local level, to help veterans heal more holistically. 1392 01:23:57,249 --> 01:23:58,555 The work's not done. 1393 01:23:58,598 --> 01:24:00,078 This war is gonna keep going on, 1394 01:24:00,122 --> 01:24:03,777 and we need to keep welcoming these guys home 1395 01:24:03,821 --> 01:24:06,432 and getting them the services they need, 1396 01:24:06,476 --> 01:24:08,478 and the government can't do that. 1397 01:24:08,521 --> 01:24:11,133 The government can provide infrastructure, 1398 01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:14,788 but it can't... it can't touch down at a local level, 1399 01:24:14,832 --> 01:24:16,703 at a grassroots level, it just can't. 1400 01:24:16,747 --> 01:24:21,273 You need empowered veterans to empower other veterans 1401 01:24:21,317 --> 01:24:24,233 to do these things. 1402 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:40,858 Matt Lorscheider, he was a... he was a Marine infantryman 1403 01:24:40,901 --> 01:24:45,384 from Fox company, 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines. 1404 01:24:45,428 --> 01:24:47,995 After that, he went to college, got his bachelor's, 1405 01:24:48,039 --> 01:24:50,172 and followed by a master's degree, 1406 01:24:50,215 --> 01:24:55,960 and... now has decided to help homeless veterans 1407 01:24:56,003 --> 01:24:58,963 with the New Directions program. 1408 01:24:59,006 --> 01:25:01,661 So, we're gonna go pay him a visit right now 1409 01:25:01,705 --> 01:25:05,448 and get a little bit of... of information 1410 01:25:05,491 --> 01:25:08,320 on what he has to say about it, and what he's been doing 1411 01:25:08,364 --> 01:25:10,714 since he's been out of the Marine Corps. 1412 01:25:16,807 --> 01:25:19,505 The veteran population we work with is 100% homeless. 1413 01:25:19,549 --> 01:25:21,507 One doesn't become homeless because they have 1414 01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:23,596 excellent job skills, for the most part. 1415 01:25:23,640 --> 01:25:27,731 So, we're addressing the statistics that, you know, 1416 01:25:27,774 --> 01:25:30,125 probably 98% of our population 1417 01:25:30,168 --> 01:25:32,475 could use some retraining in those skills. 1418 01:25:32,518 --> 01:25:35,869 There is a correlation between companies 1419 01:25:35,913 --> 01:25:38,089 that have a reputation for bad customer service 1420 01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,222 and companies that pay low wages 1421 01:25:40,265 --> 01:25:42,156 and give not a lot of hours, and don't pay benefits, 1422 01:25:42,180 --> 01:25:43,616 and those things are connected. 1423 01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:45,357 I first came to work here 1424 01:25:45,401 --> 01:25:47,596 because I wanted to do something that'd help my fellow vets. 1425 01:25:47,620 --> 01:25:49,424 And it just, like, it made a big difference to me 1426 01:25:49,448 --> 01:25:51,885 when I was working with people and they were or weren't vets. 1427 01:25:51,929 --> 01:25:54,758 You know, I... when I was trying to talk to somebody 1428 01:25:54,801 --> 01:25:57,021 about my situations, and they weren't a veteran, 1429 01:25:57,064 --> 01:25:58,544 no matter how much they tried to say, 1430 01:25:58,588 --> 01:26:00,000 "Oh, well, I work with veterans all the time," 1431 01:26:00,024 --> 01:26:01,523 or, "Oh, my... you know, my husband's a vet," 1432 01:26:01,547 --> 01:26:03,462 or, "My cousin's a vet," or, "My uncle's a vet," 1433 01:26:03,506 --> 01:26:05,072 it's not the same. 1434 01:26:05,116 --> 01:26:06,789 It's not the same as if you haven't really done it. 1435 01:26:06,813 --> 01:26:09,381 It gives me a certain level of legitimacy when dealing 1436 01:26:09,425 --> 01:26:12,036 with combat veterans and combat arms veterans 1437 01:26:12,079 --> 01:26:13,535 that have... that have been in that kind of stuff, 1438 01:26:13,559 --> 01:26:15,213 where I can say, you know what, 1439 01:26:15,257 --> 01:26:16,669 you know, I've had people shooting at me, too. 1440 01:26:16,693 --> 01:26:18,018 You know, I've... I've shot people. 1441 01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:19,826 I know what that's about. 1442 01:26:36,103 --> 01:26:39,324 There's kind of a trend going on right now, 1443 01:26:39,368 --> 01:26:40,978 and it's been going on for a few years, 1444 01:26:41,021 --> 01:26:43,241 where guys are getting kicked out of the military. 1445 01:26:43,285 --> 01:26:46,462 You know, they basically act out with rage 1446 01:26:46,505 --> 01:26:49,595 related to PTSD, or they start using drugs to self-medicate, 1447 01:26:49,639 --> 01:26:51,554 or they start using alcohol to self-medicate. 1448 01:26:51,597 --> 01:26:54,209 And when they get kicked out on OTHs... 1449 01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:55,775 On Other Than Honorable discharges, 1450 01:26:55,819 --> 01:26:58,343 they lose their entitlement to VA healthcare, 1451 01:26:58,387 --> 01:27:00,302 including healthcare and mental healthcare 1452 01:27:00,345 --> 01:27:02,782 for the very conditions that got them kicked out, 1453 01:27:02,826 --> 01:27:06,960 conditions that were started because they served in combat. 1454 01:27:07,004 --> 01:27:09,789 That's absolutely criminal to me, 1455 01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:11,941 because they're putting a whole generation of veterans 1456 01:27:11,965 --> 01:27:13,967 directly into the streets by doing that. 1457 01:27:14,011 --> 01:27:15,752 It needs to stop right away. 1458 01:27:15,795 --> 01:27:17,928 And you can print that, you can tell that to Congress, 1459 01:27:17,971 --> 01:27:20,104 you could tell that to Obama, whoever's in charge. 1460 01:27:20,147 --> 01:27:22,498 Like, that needs to stop yesterday. 1461 01:27:39,689 --> 01:27:41,560 No matter where my career takes me, 1462 01:27:41,604 --> 01:27:44,346 you know, I know it's gonna be doing something 1463 01:27:44,389 --> 01:27:47,827 that benefits veterans and society, you know. 1464 01:27:47,871 --> 01:27:51,527 I... my desire to serve my country and all that 1465 01:27:51,570 --> 01:27:55,705 didn't end the day I, you know, got my DD 214. 1466 01:27:55,748 --> 01:27:57,620 My purpose is I wanna help people, 1467 01:27:57,663 --> 01:27:59,685 and I'm starting with people like me, other veterans. 1468 01:27:59,709 --> 01:28:03,190 You know, veterans that... That maybe didn't take advantage 1469 01:28:03,234 --> 01:28:04,975 of their opportunities the way I did, 1470 01:28:05,018 --> 01:28:08,195 or you know, guys who are just struggling and need a hand. 1471 01:28:08,239 --> 01:28:09,956 That's what we did in the military, that's what we did 1472 01:28:09,980 --> 01:28:12,045 in the Marine Corps, you know, you helped a buddy out. 1473 01:28:12,069 --> 01:28:13,810 I'm not gonna stop doing that now. 1474 01:28:13,853 --> 01:28:15,440 You know, once a Marine, always a Marine. 1475 01:28:15,464 --> 01:28:18,031 That's what it's all about for me. 1476 01:28:21,470 --> 01:28:24,429 It gives me a great deal of hope to see 1477 01:28:24,473 --> 01:28:28,825 Marines I served with, Marines I didn't serve with, 1478 01:28:28,868 --> 01:28:30,566 warriors from all different branches, 1479 01:28:30,609 --> 01:28:32,089 starting these small organizations 1480 01:28:32,132 --> 01:28:33,786 to help one another. 1481 01:28:33,830 --> 01:28:35,416 That's the potential here, and that's what's happening. 1482 01:28:35,440 --> 01:28:37,355 As we empower each other as veterans, 1483 01:28:37,399 --> 01:28:40,619 and then we start bridging the gap with civilians again, 1484 01:28:40,663 --> 01:28:42,273 and all these people are empowered, 1485 01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:44,493 and they all are so happy to help, 1486 01:28:44,536 --> 01:28:47,887 and they're so willing to work, 1487 01:28:47,931 --> 01:28:51,369 it's like, it just spreads like wildfire. 1488 01:28:51,413 --> 01:28:52,805 Although we all have our issues... 1489 01:28:52,849 --> 01:28:54,764 And make no mistake, going to combat, 1490 01:28:54,807 --> 01:28:56,548 you don't come home the same... 1491 01:28:56,592 --> 01:28:58,309 But to see 'em going forward in spite of that 1492 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:00,378 gives me immense hope, and for the sake of hope, 1493 01:29:00,422 --> 01:29:02,119 we have to keep doing this. 1494 01:29:12,303 --> 01:29:15,132 We had did the run, you know, 1495 01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:18,657 the couple hundred mile running gun fight to Baghdad. 1496 01:29:18,701 --> 01:29:21,399 And then after we secured Baghdad, 1497 01:29:21,443 --> 01:29:23,706 I guess the forces... The US forces 1498 01:29:23,749 --> 01:29:26,404 kinda spread out across the country. 1499 01:29:26,448 --> 01:29:29,494 My unit, we were tasked in the Babylon province. 1500 01:29:29,538 --> 01:29:32,062 So, we were down by, you know, the ruins of Babylon. 1501 01:29:32,105 --> 01:29:33,629 And of course, while we were there, 1502 01:29:33,672 --> 01:29:35,171 we would do a lot of counterambush patrols. 1503 01:29:35,195 --> 01:29:36,825 We'd go out in the city and basically, you know, 1504 01:29:36,849 --> 01:29:38,808 try and elicit a response, 1505 01:29:38,851 --> 01:29:40,636 you know, from the... From the enemy fighters 1506 01:29:40,679 --> 01:29:42,159 that, you know, were in the... 1507 01:29:42,202 --> 01:29:43,900 That were out there kinda waiting. 1508 01:29:43,943 --> 01:29:48,948 And we were headed out of the city on one of the routes, 1509 01:29:48,992 --> 01:29:53,213 and they had 500 20-millimeter tank rounds 1510 01:29:53,257 --> 01:29:55,564 daisy-chained together and wired to a car battery 1511 01:29:55,607 --> 01:29:57,348 laying off the road. 1512 01:29:57,392 --> 01:30:00,656 And so, the... the Iraqi Reform fighter or whoever it was, 1513 01:30:00,699 --> 01:30:03,485 you know, waited until we, you know, rolled up on the IED, 1514 01:30:03,528 --> 01:30:06,575 and then set if off when it was right next to our tire. 1515 01:30:14,626 --> 01:30:17,716 That was the first IED attack for our unit 1516 01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:19,239 of the entire war. 1517 01:30:19,283 --> 01:30:21,285 Luckily, they weren't very good at it then. 1518 01:30:21,328 --> 01:30:23,287 You know, nobody was seriously injured. 1519 01:30:23,330 --> 01:30:25,594 But it was... it was mainly the blast wave. 1520 01:30:25,637 --> 01:30:28,466 You know, as that blast passes through your brain, 1521 01:30:28,510 --> 01:30:31,251 you know, it... it could do some serious damage, 1522 01:30:31,295 --> 01:30:33,515 you know, long-term damage. 1523 01:30:33,558 --> 01:30:35,778 And at the time, you know, in '03, 1524 01:30:35,821 --> 01:30:37,954 they didn't understand blast wave injuries, 1525 01:30:37,997 --> 01:30:40,391 you know, traumatic brain injury as well as they do now. 1526 01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,219 Had that happened today, you know, 1527 01:30:42,262 --> 01:30:44,613 I'd spend the next 30 days in a dark room, you know, 1528 01:30:44,656 --> 01:30:47,442 resting the brain and giving it time to heal. 1529 01:30:47,485 --> 01:30:50,488 But back then, you know, I wasn't missing any limbs, 1530 01:30:50,532 --> 01:30:52,031 you know what I mean, and the next day, 1531 01:30:52,055 --> 01:30:53,448 we're out on patrol doing it again. 1532 01:31:05,677 --> 01:31:06,741 When we got out of the Marine Corps, 1533 01:31:06,765 --> 01:31:08,637 Kenny and I stayed in touch. 1534 01:31:08,680 --> 01:31:12,597 He was someone who I always held as a... as a close friend. 1535 01:31:12,641 --> 01:31:17,254 And it was very difficult, because I knew him before Iraq. 1536 01:31:17,297 --> 01:31:20,300 So, I knew the happy-go-lucky kid, 1537 01:31:20,344 --> 01:31:25,262 the guy that was just overall an up-spirit type of person. 1538 01:31:25,305 --> 01:31:28,526 And so, when we came back, you know, it was pretty obvious 1539 01:31:28,570 --> 01:31:30,702 that he was struggling and having some problems. 1540 01:31:37,840 --> 01:31:40,233 About ten years after getting back from Iraq 1541 01:31:40,277 --> 01:31:42,197 and going through the VA, you know, going through 1542 01:31:42,235 --> 01:31:44,847 the process of being treated for posttraumatic stress, 1543 01:31:44,890 --> 01:31:46,805 my doc had prescribed a service dog. 1544 01:31:46,849 --> 01:31:48,981 He said, you know, "I think a service dog 1545 01:31:49,025 --> 01:31:51,157 "would be the next best stage treatment for you 1546 01:31:51,201 --> 01:31:52,855 in your posttraumatic stress." 1547 01:31:52,898 --> 01:31:55,379 And so, you know, I started going through the process 1548 01:31:55,422 --> 01:31:57,599 of trying to find an organization to work with. 1549 01:31:57,642 --> 01:32:00,993 The VA doesn't provide them or pay for 'em, 1550 01:32:01,037 --> 01:32:02,908 so you know, basically, I was on my own, 1551 01:32:02,952 --> 01:32:06,521 just like any other vet, you know, that's gonna be trying 1552 01:32:06,564 --> 01:32:08,566 to figure out where to get a service dog. 1553 01:32:08,610 --> 01:32:11,874 My best option turned out to be going with an organization 1554 01:32:11,917 --> 01:32:13,832 that wasn't a nonprofit that actually charged me 1555 01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:15,834 $15,000 for Atlas. 1556 01:32:15,878 --> 01:32:18,837 And you know, being a disabled Marine on disability, 1557 01:32:18,881 --> 01:32:22,449 you know, and having that... That fixed income, you know, 1558 01:32:22,493 --> 01:32:24,974 I understand that most other vets in my position, 1559 01:32:25,017 --> 01:32:26,734 you know, they're just not gonna be able to afford that. 1560 01:32:26,758 --> 01:32:28,693 I called him, I'm like, what's... What are you talking about? 1561 01:32:28,717 --> 01:32:31,067 You know, why does a dog cost $15,000? 1562 01:32:31,110 --> 01:32:33,765 I knew he was service connected 100%, 1563 01:32:33,809 --> 01:32:35,351 so I said, "Why isn't the VA paying for this, 1564 01:32:35,375 --> 01:32:36,788 you know, and what is this all about?" 1565 01:32:36,812 --> 01:32:38,988 So, during that initial conversation 1566 01:32:39,031 --> 01:32:42,644 when he's explaining to me how this dog is helping him 1567 01:32:42,687 --> 01:32:44,602 and what the dog can do for him, 1568 01:32:44,646 --> 01:32:47,779 it was a pretty significant moment in my life 1569 01:32:47,823 --> 01:32:49,738 that I remember, because I knew that 1570 01:32:49,781 --> 01:32:52,958 that was going to be a fantastic opportunity 1571 01:32:53,002 --> 01:32:54,743 to help other veterans. 1572 01:32:57,006 --> 01:32:59,138 I was trained to, you know, turn it on. 1573 01:32:59,182 --> 01:33:00,923 I was trained to turn on that kill switch. 1574 01:33:00,966 --> 01:33:05,231 I was... I was trained to... thrive in combat and survive. 1575 01:33:05,275 --> 01:33:08,408 But the problem comes back, is when we come back stateside, 1576 01:33:08,452 --> 01:33:10,193 you know, and we take that uniform off 1577 01:33:10,236 --> 01:33:12,761 and we, you know, take the weapons to the armory, 1578 01:33:12,804 --> 01:33:15,459 and you go back to your house, 1579 01:33:15,502 --> 01:33:17,592 you know, and you go back to your wife, 1580 01:33:17,635 --> 01:33:20,899 and you go back to that civilian setting. 1581 01:33:20,943 --> 01:33:22,422 We're not trained to turn it off. 1582 01:33:33,738 --> 01:33:36,045 We're not trained to turn off that hyper-vigilance, 1583 01:33:36,088 --> 01:33:38,743 those survival instincts that we have, 1584 01:33:38,787 --> 01:33:40,440 that were reinforced and honed 1585 01:33:40,484 --> 01:33:42,878 depending on how long you were there and how close, 1586 01:33:42,921 --> 01:33:44,880 you know, you came to dying while you were there. 1587 01:33:55,891 --> 01:33:57,719 My Battle Buddy, I'll take him to the mall. 1588 01:33:57,762 --> 01:34:00,373 You know, I take him out to these public places, 1589 01:34:00,417 --> 01:34:02,767 you know, all the places that I spent years avoiding. 1590 01:34:02,811 --> 01:34:05,727 And so, over time, it's... It essentially has become 1591 01:34:05,770 --> 01:34:08,251 that retraining, you know, allowing me to... 1592 01:34:08,294 --> 01:34:11,428 I guess basically reintegrate myself 1593 01:34:11,471 --> 01:34:13,125 back into that civilian world. 1594 01:34:20,263 --> 01:34:23,266 Atlas has definitely been a life-changer for me. 1595 01:34:23,309 --> 01:34:25,229 He's got different tasks that he's trained to do, 1596 01:34:25,268 --> 01:34:26,854 and he's trained to wake me from nightmares. 1597 01:34:26,878 --> 01:34:29,664 So, you know, if at 3 a.m., you know, I'm sweating 1598 01:34:29,707 --> 01:34:31,491 and you know, cussing in Arabic, 1599 01:34:31,535 --> 01:34:33,513 he'll jump up on the bed, you know, and either lay on me 1600 01:34:33,537 --> 01:34:35,017 or lick my face and wake me up. 1601 01:34:35,060 --> 01:34:36,820 You know, there's different things he can do, 1602 01:34:36,845 --> 01:34:39,804 where he'll post, you know, turn around and face behind me 1603 01:34:39,848 --> 01:34:42,764 so I'm not hyper-vigilant, or I don't have to be, 1604 01:34:42,807 --> 01:34:45,723 you know, as on alert as, you know, I had been for years. 1605 01:34:45,767 --> 01:34:47,527 You know, there's all sorts of things that they can be trained 1606 01:34:47,551 --> 01:34:49,466 to do that... That really just help 1607 01:34:49,509 --> 01:34:51,511 increase that quality of life on a daily basis, 1608 01:34:51,555 --> 01:34:53,470 help mitigate, you know, some of those symptoms 1609 01:34:53,513 --> 01:34:55,733 that would keep you from doing things. 1610 01:34:59,128 --> 01:35:02,131 I'd actually been looking for a charity to get involved with. 1611 01:35:02,174 --> 01:35:03,872 And I came back to him and I said, "Hey, 1612 01:35:03,915 --> 01:35:06,265 "what do you think about, you know, starting a charity, 1613 01:35:06,309 --> 01:35:08,006 "you know, together, the two of us, 1614 01:35:08,050 --> 01:35:09,704 and helping other vets do this?" 1615 01:35:09,747 --> 01:35:12,707 And you know, he said, "There's nothing I'd rather do." 1616 01:35:12,750 --> 01:35:14,230 And... and that was it. 1617 01:35:14,273 --> 01:35:16,232 And his brother John came on board, 1618 01:35:16,275 --> 01:35:19,801 and the idea was... was born. 1619 01:35:36,948 --> 01:35:39,037 You know, there's a need in that veteran community. 1620 01:35:39,081 --> 01:35:40,473 There's a great need. 1621 01:35:40,517 --> 01:35:45,609 And when I looked for that help, it wasn't there. 1622 01:35:45,652 --> 01:35:48,003 I sincerely believe that we're gonna be one of the biggest 1623 01:35:48,046 --> 01:35:50,179 organizations that there ever were for veterans. 1624 01:35:50,222 --> 01:35:51,963 I don't see why we shouldn't be. 1625 01:35:52,007 --> 01:35:53,660 We're not looking at just sending veterans 1626 01:35:53,704 --> 01:35:56,011 away for a weekend, you know, or, you know, 1627 01:35:56,054 --> 01:35:57,752 helping 'em catch up on bills for a month 1628 01:35:57,795 --> 01:35:59,077 and then say, you know, "Good luck, 1629 01:35:59,101 --> 01:36:00,755 we hope the rest of your life's better." 1630 01:36:00,798 --> 01:36:02,428 When these veterans commit to getting a Battle Buddy 1631 01:36:02,452 --> 01:36:04,019 through the Battle Buddy Foundation, 1632 01:36:04,062 --> 01:36:06,171 and when they commit to becoming a part of this program 1633 01:36:06,195 --> 01:36:08,719 and a part of this family, it's for life. 1634 01:36:08,763 --> 01:36:11,896 When it comes to life after combat, 1635 01:36:11,940 --> 01:36:14,812 there are no unobtainable goals. 1636 01:36:14,856 --> 01:36:16,988 It blows me away because I'll... You know, I get vets 1637 01:36:17,032 --> 01:36:19,271 that look at me like I'm some kind of example or something. 1638 01:36:19,295 --> 01:36:20,818 And I'm like, "Brother, 1639 01:36:20,862 --> 01:36:22,753 "man, I got the same nightmares you do, you know. 1640 01:36:22,777 --> 01:36:25,605 "I've got the same, you know, sins and the same struggles, 1641 01:36:25,649 --> 01:36:27,449 "you know, and the same torment on the inside, 1642 01:36:27,477 --> 01:36:29,044 you know, that you do." 1643 01:36:29,087 --> 01:36:31,350 But instead of spending my days hiding in the garage, 1644 01:36:31,394 --> 01:36:32,961 you know, thinking about it, 1645 01:36:33,004 --> 01:36:35,920 now, I've got no time... I ain't got no time for that. 1646 01:37:00,945 --> 01:37:03,295 The most exciting thing about the situation 1647 01:37:03,339 --> 01:37:06,037 we're in as veterans right now is the potential. 1648 01:37:06,081 --> 01:37:08,692 If you can go take Ramadi at 18 years old with your friends, 1649 01:37:08,735 --> 01:37:11,608 you can do anything. You can start a program. 1650 01:37:11,651 --> 01:37:13,281 You could have the biggest program in the country. 1651 01:37:13,305 --> 01:37:14,480 Why not? 1652 01:37:20,486 --> 01:37:24,751 There's value in walking that dark path and surviving. 1653 01:37:24,795 --> 01:37:26,841 You know, there's value 1654 01:37:26,884 --> 01:37:28,886 in being there for your brothers and sisters. 1655 01:37:28,930 --> 01:37:32,324 Positive ripples just make positive tsunamis, you know? 1656 01:37:32,368 --> 01:37:34,326 It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. 1657 01:37:34,370 --> 01:37:36,633 I don't think it's reaching to say that 100% of people 1658 01:37:36,676 --> 01:37:38,548 that have been in combat have one buddy 1659 01:37:38,591 --> 01:37:40,115 that they can still reach out to, 1660 01:37:40,158 --> 01:37:42,204 no matter how far down the line they go. 1661 01:37:42,247 --> 01:37:43,703 Call that person, tell that person what you're going through. 1662 01:37:43,727 --> 01:37:45,598 They might be going through the same thing. 1663 01:37:45,642 --> 01:37:47,905 You know, they might need you as much as you need them. 1664 01:37:47,949 --> 01:37:49,298 We're all in this together, 1665 01:37:49,341 --> 01:37:52,214 and, um... we swore an oath. 1666 01:37:52,257 --> 01:37:54,259 And that oath just never dies. 1667 01:37:54,303 --> 01:37:56,087 If I could have a voice to most veterans, 1668 01:37:56,131 --> 01:37:58,698 it's just, it gets better, man. 1669 01:37:58,742 --> 01:38:00,962 I think vets really need to help vets 1670 01:38:01,005 --> 01:38:04,052 and let 'em know, dude, it's gonna be all right. 1671 01:38:08,491 --> 01:38:11,059 Can you imagine a company of Marines, 1672 01:38:11,102 --> 01:38:12,538 an entire company of Marines, 1673 01:38:12,582 --> 01:38:14,323 the greatest fighting force in the world, 1674 01:38:14,366 --> 01:38:17,152 all dedicated to doing good for the rest of their lives? 1675 01:38:17,195 --> 01:38:19,632 There's no... there's no ceiling on that. 1676 01:38:19,676 --> 01:38:22,200 It could go to the moon, I mean, it's crazy. 1677 01:38:22,244 --> 01:38:23,985 So, we need to spread this positivity, 1678 01:38:24,028 --> 01:38:27,858 because it's out there, people are doing it. 1679 01:38:27,902 --> 01:38:30,469 And I just think that story needs to be told. 1680 01:40:02,039 --> 01:40:03,234 We're gonna wrap, I wanna ask you 1681 01:40:03,258 --> 01:40:04,409 if there's anything you wanna say 1682 01:40:04,433 --> 01:40:05,782 that we haven't said? 1683 01:40:05,825 --> 01:40:08,306 Any grand statement you wanna make, anything. 1684 01:40:09,960 --> 01:40:13,485 Not really. I mean, I said everything. 1685 01:40:13,529 --> 01:40:17,489 I don't have a grand statement. I never did. 123555

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.